Teen Bruce Wayne - Tumblr Posts
Kid batman: smudged eye liner, ripped black leggings, somehow always has a cat (Alfred doesn't know where he keeps getting cats), lays in the garden and just stares up at the sky for hours on end
Teen batman: these eye bags are gucci™, soft pun sweaters, debate team, knows all the words to the elements song except adds cuss words to it, screams at the fictional characters in shows when they do stupid stuff, lays in the garden and reads comics/textbooks/any books he can get ahold of
Kid batman: feral witch child
Teen batman: unhinged aggressive dork
The flavour this has is immense, so here are my thoughts that no one asked for;
He adopted dick when he like 13/14, and bc of that they have a brotherly relationship
Bruce adopted jason when he was 15
Tim comes in right after Bruce turns 16, which is when he joins the Justice League (whom don't know his real identity)
The whole Damian thing happens when Bruce is 16 but he gets Damian when the kid is a baby, so bruce is like, 17
Bruce got abducted after his parents murders and got taken to Nanda Parbat
They trained him until he refused to finish a mission, they then dumped him off all beaten up at some Gotham hospital
"The Prince Has Returned" was all over the Gotham papers for the next few weeks
He was around 12/13 when they brought him back
Bruce skips out on league bonding days to either go to school (he goes to a public school, you can't tell me otherwise) or has something he has to attend for one of his kids
Cassandra, Stephanie, and Duke all come in when he's 19-21
Jason died and came back when bruce was 17, and he doesn't think of Tim as a replacement bc fuck you DC let them be happy brothers
When the league all reveals their identities to each other, bruce is not what they were expecting
They were expecting a serious grown man
Not a serious teenager
Would y'all like to see some one shots of teen!bruce??????
*whispers*: what about teen dad bruce 👀
*whispers*: what about teen dad bruce 👀
These are just too good akshsisheuehw
*after a mission*
Flash, talking to a reporter: -yeah we're all going out for drinks after we clean up around here
Reporter, turning to bruce: and what does the Batman like to drink on these occasions?
Bruce: idk..... I'm not legally allowed to??
*alternatively*
Shazam, pushing bruce out of the camera frame: ChOcCy MiLk-
WE 👏 LOVE 👏 TO 👏 SEE 👏 TEEN 👏 DAD 👏 BRUCE (I can't stop thinking about him aksgjssgsks)
Neither can iiiii ommgggg
This is part of my teen batman au and i thought i should leave it out because i thought yall wouldnt like it but y'all do!!!!!! Aaaaahhhh
Teen dad bruce be vibin
He be raisin' his kids, bein' a superhero, bein' superiour, yknow the teen life
Can you imagine the fucking shock the league has when they realise they have been working with a child lmao
Or young justice realising their leader is younger than them lol
OR THE MEDIA
Annsjajaamammamdbdbdhdhhsshegkgxkgxkgxigcohvogcirarsig b
Shit teen batman from my very specific au says bc i say so:
"yeah, no, you're not wearing that, you look like a bootleg lil huddy"
-
*on the phone with Cat while with the league* "i cant come right now, im working with the elderly"
Hal & Barry: *offended noices*
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*@ the team* "deadass? Not to quote superman but, are y'all bitin' my boot right now?"
Black Canary: *sigh deep enough to restart the fires of hell*
-
*at his kids* "so what if he took your crackers? Deck him in his face, we talked about this"
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*gossiping with Dinah* "it was like weird as shit, she fucked her principle, got divorced and posted it on her only fans- yes i know its none of my business- but still tho..."
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"Lowkey,,, Jasons math teacher is fine as hell"
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* @diana* "Not to like,,, drop my trauma here or something but,,, are you my mom right now??? Or did i misplace the signs of mentorship??"
-
"I swear to god Susan, if you dont teach your kid to fucking behave i- oh okay, you wanna fight? Pull up, see what happens"
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*aggressively baking* "i'm going to fucking win this bakery sale Tim, i dont care im not your real dad, Susan and her store-bought cookies need to be put in their place"
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"Your english teacher is cake for what? Like,, sir,, double cheeked up? On a thursday afternoon?"
Dick, in the back of the car: "can we just go home?"
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"This is my son Jason, i found him on craigslist"
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"not to like bodyshame or anything but,, why are your toes crusty?"
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"I'll bet you five dollars that superman sleeps with a cowboy hat- yes i know there is no ethical way to get this information, does it look like i care?"
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"Do you think he keeps the dumb goatee to hide a birthmark?"
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*talking on the phone with the sirens while killing aliens attacking earth* : "I cant talk right now, im doing hot girl shit"
-
We'll see how far i'll go with this
Mom!Diana picks teen!Bruce up like a cat and carries him away before he can get into trouble, no I do not take criticism-
Bruce- 15
"He had fun tonight. We all did. The past few years have been rough, but I'm so proud of him. ❤"
-Kate
More de-aged Bruce Wayne
Dick: “Bruce, please, we can’t let your go out. Someone might notice you”
Young!Bruce:* standing on the countertop with the cabinet open, holding a precious China plate above his head* “one more try”
Jason: “listen you little shit-“
Young!Bruce: *Slams that shit. Grabs another one* “you dress me up like damn traffic light but won’t let me go the Burger King?!” *throws another against the wall*
Dick:*sobbing* “Alfred’s going to kill us*
..........
Young!Bruce:*aggressive skateboarding on the railing of the Wayne Manor stairs*
Duke: “this some serious spoiled white kid shit”
Damien: “tt”
Duke: “let’s tell him about the batmobile”
........
Young!Bruce:*walking the streets of Gotham alone*
Dick and Jason:*lock eyes on him and rush him*
Young!Bruce:*smiles innocently*
Dick: “do you have any idea how stupid this is? Someone might see you and recognize you”
Jason:*grabbing his wrist* “try this again and I sw-“
Young!Bruce: *takes deep breath*
Young!Bruce: “no please! I don’t have any money!”
Jason: *shocked* “hey hey-“
Dick: *horrified backing off* “lethimgolethimgopeoplearestaring”
Jason:*tightening his grip, pulling Bruce close* “I’m going to kill you”
Young!Bruce: “I DONT WANT TO PUT MY HAND THERE!”
Jason:*turns to Dick* “scatter”
Gothamites: *coming in for the kill*
I'm glad we're all shifting from "Bruce is so cool and swavy..god look at him go getting all the ladies such a gentleman 😍😘😘"
to
"Nah this man is fucking weird but gosh do we love him..."
I'm doing a day camp for my school so here are things I've witnessed (and I'll be adding more until Saturday 21/8)
Damian:
*picks a wild blackberry and eats it* "mm...dog piss."
---
Teen!Bruce:
"Yeah it's breath-taking, but is it bussin'?"
---
Steph:
"This is a weird looking nectarine..."
Duke: "That's because it's a plum."
---
Jason, pointing at Aquaman:
"Oh look! A water hobo!"
---
Cass:
*after getting soaked with water*
I could single-handedly end the drought right now.
im on a teen bruce kick lmao do you have any hcs about him as a teen??
Ofc I do!!!!
He def went to public school because he made friends in the neighborhood who didn't have the money to go private
He sometimes would ride his skateboard to said school
Other times (when he wanted to show off) he would have Kate drive him around on her motorcycle (she only said yes a couple times)
Single handedly kept a local diner in business during lunch hour because he would take his friends and tip very very well
Never did homework but since he got 100% on every test he somehow passed his classes
Started a cult
Theatre club
At first the cult was a joke and then bruce found out there's was ways to do actual magic and it became....not as much of a joke
Would take spoons at galas and the hand them all to a reporter along with some hush money and watch the confusion and dismay cross their face just for fun (also he could get away with it bc he was young"
Started keeping tabs on super powered beings long before they became heroes or villains, he had Clark's identity figured out when Clark graduated high school
Teen Bruce (actually just me projecting lol sorry y'all)
Bruce: *gets thrown a condom in the middle of class by a classmate* wtf do you expect me to do with this???? Like I have a gf??? Or a dick?
--
Bruce, *internally*: Maybe if I sit really still the teacher will forget I'm here and I won't have to take the exam
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Barbara: what kind of music are ya listening to?
Jason: radio static, because it's the only thing that accurately portrays my thoughts and feelings about this prison of a reality
Bruce: amen kiddo ill drink to that
--
Bruce: this literally tastes like ass
Ollie: how would you know what ass tastes like lol?
Bruce: you've SEEN my snapchat Oliver, figure it out.
--
Bruce, *texting*: alfie pls come pick me up before I eat a fourth orange
Teen Bruce pt 2: things I hear at school electric boogaloo
Bruce: *nodding along to a random guy talking about how "he would def suck Brandon's dick as long as he could ensure they would remain bros and not make it gay between them, bc he's not gay and Brandon's not gay so it would be more of a service to Brandon actually, just a favour really-"*
--
Bruce: all I've got is one's in my pocket, I feel like a stripper
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Bruce: *thinks PSAT is a disease at first*
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Bruce: what're y'all being for halloween? I'm gonna be a nasty little whore.
--
Bruce @ teen!Harv: really? after all the arson I watched you commit? we're still in the friend zone???
--
Bruce: *watches selina and talia doing something stupid* polyam is a thing. a great, fantastic thing.
Dick: “Bruce, how come in all this pictures of you as a teen you look really posh? I though you were known for being a dramatic goth, an alternate king, a true emo”
Bruce: “oh, that because Alfred keeps those pictures in a separate album underneath the bookshelf” [goes and grabs it and flips to a random page]
Dick: “why are you smiling while your face is covered in blood?”
Bruce: [smiles] “that was my first mosh pit. Good times”
Fuck a Stephanie pregnancy storyline. The only one in the batfam who fits the teen parent trope is Bruce.
Here's the ugly start of a beautiful ending; Waynes don't cry. The more Bruce does, the less he feels like one. It's not uncommon or irregular for him to cry at his parents grave.
It's just like last time; Like the first time. It's always the first time when they speak.
Except his hands weren't bleeding back then.
They call him The Bat. They say he's made of shadow and moonlight. That there's actually no man under the cowl at all. That he's a monster, bred from Gotham's nightmare pit. or a God.
He's not. A monster, he is, but God? No. Batman was a victim first.
What's also unusual is that little Tim Drake is so sloppy with his hiding place. "You can stop hiding, Tim." A meek squeak pipes up behind another gravestone.
"You can see me?"
"I always see you." He says, gloved hand swiping off frosty snow off Martha’s grave. His mama hates being cold. "And you see me too, right?"
"... Mr. Wayne, -- are you...Are you Batman?" Mr. Wayne. That's how old he is at 19. More importantly, he nods. There's no use in lying to children. Especially when they have no one to ask, or to tell.
"And do you-- do you have a partner?"
A negative shake of head.
"Oh. I don't have one either! So if you're offering..."
Bruce snorts, body light and airy like it hasn't been in years, and this is why he likes kids more than adults. "Tempting, but no. Next time you take photos of me, turn the lighting off. "
He blushes, but that pout is determined. His parents' gravestones feel warm to touch.
So maybe Tim can't be Robin. But when he knocks on Bruce's door, tiny bag in hand, he makes it clear he'll be a Wayne. Until he can be Robin.
"Hn."
"This is a bad idea, sir."
"Yup,"
"Don't kid. I'm serious. "
"No, you're Alfred," Bruce covers a sleepy Tim with his cape after he stuck into the Batmboile.
Having to explain to Jim why a 4 year old was in the back of a teen vigilante's car was problematic enough. "Don't worry. I won't let this one die." And he means it, too. He means it, and it amounts to nothing, but it counts