Toji Zenin X Reader - Tumblr Posts

I need more! This is such a good idea!

onlyfans!toji who has combined his two favourite things, money and sex.

who gets off on knowing poor souls like you are paying to watch him fuck his fist, to listen to the sick sounds me makes when he’s on the edge. he likes the money, loves the attention.

who, after a loving tip from you, starts a private chat to thank you personally for your donation to the toji-orgasm-fund. you’re sweet, a fair bit more flustered than he’d expect, and so fucking good with your words.

who actually gets to know you between the phone sex sessions, learns your favourite colour and middle name and that one high school story you laugh when retelling. when he’s not feeding you lines about fucking your brains out, he’s asking questions about yourself, hopes and fears alike.

who invites you over on a whim, and half expects you to flake on him. though he’s glad you didn’t when he’s got you face down on his bed, tears staining the sheets as he stretches you out on his cock: finally hearing those sweet moans in person. camera set up, turning you from a fan into a moviestar.

and who, despite the riches your body could bring him, likes fucking you beat when he’s got you to himself. his eyes only, someone to dote on him and get fucked stupid in return.

Yoooo I’m happy asf let’s goooo

She got the best revenge possible and honesty fuck Geto and Gojo in this talking about some “I won’t forgive you”

You reap what you sow, like we’ve reached bad bitch status and honestly I’m interested to see what happens next I’m super curious about Sukuna I’m ready for the next

Her after watching Geto crawl to Gojos dead body⬇️

The Lady and Her Knight

Knight!Toji Fushiguro x Princess!Reader // Part 2

Words: 11k // mdni 18+ [Part 1 here]

Tw: not technically dark content but they check if reader is still "pure" and that's assault, depression, betrayal, violence, chosen one trope, villain!nanami, steamy bath scene, fingering and oral(m->f), virgin!Reader, suicide attempt, age gap, satosugu, identity crisis

Note: I'm the same person just a new blog if that confuses you. Yeh this will have a third part bc the dynamic between sukuna and reader is kinda interesting

It is just so peaceful.

You are roaming a beautiful meadow during sundown. The last rays are soft on your skin while the tender breeze kisses your arms and legs and makes your hair dance in the air.

You want to stay here forever. Just you and the wildflowers and–

“Toji?” You whisper.

He sits beside you now, picking flowers and putting them into your hair. He isn't wearing his armour and he isn't looking tired. Toji looks free and… like home. He is peaceful.

It's just so peaceful. All of it.

You and him. Nothing else matters.

You turn to him–

And gasp sitting up in an unfamiliar bed. Your hand clutches over your heart as you feel the pain like an echo, like a dagger to the heart, dull and mercilessly.

“My lady,” Satoru smiles. “Here.” He holds out a cup of water. You grab it gulping it down in one go, your hands are shaking, your head is pounding. You feel so empty.

“You have been sleeping for 2 days,” Satoru says. “I will go grab you something to eat.” You watch how he walks past Geto, silently telling him something. You don't understand a thing.

“W-where are we?” Your voice won't rise above a whisper.

“Lord Nanami's hide,” Geto says in a monotonous tone. He walks, paces, back and forth in front of the bed.

“Who is Lord Nanami?” You frown.

“The man who will save you. Your soon to be husband.”

You feel your soul sustain a shatter. Husband? What is Geto talking about?

“(Y/N), I can't believe the way you have… acted!!” Geto snaps, pointing a finger at you. “Lord Nanami values tradition and piety. I implore you to apologize for your behavior– we can still salvage this– you were not yourself–”

“My behavior?” Your eyebrows pinch. What have you done? What does he mean? You saved their lives? You did! Your face grimaces as tears tingle in your eyes. “Where is Sir Toji?” Your lips quiver.

Sir Toji wouldn't yell at you like this. He'd make sure you're okay, make sure you know you are safe– you want him to tell you you are stupid for what you did with a grin on his face that is soft.

Geto exclaims in disbelief. “This is exactly what I am talking about.”

“I made him my knight… So… Where is my knight?!” Your eyes bore at Suguru with chilling apathy. “You cannot keep him from me.”

“He left. He was never loyal to you. You are so naive. Nanami paid him and off he was,” Suguru lies. You know he lies. “Now, please, collect yourself and… function.” He turns toward the door. “I'm trying to save you.”

You jump from the mattress, tumbling on weakened legs. “Don't ever say you are saving me again, Geto!” You shout. “You are dooming me to another man… to save your lover. This is not for me… this is selfishness.”

Suguru stops with the door handle in his hand. His eyes close and he takes a deep breath. You are right. You both know it. He didn't think you had the wits to figure it out… But here you are. “You are the princess. You are your mother’s daughter,” he says. “You were born to carry the world on your shoulders. So what's saving Satoru?”

You scoff, the heaviness in your stomach only sinking further. You can't breathe. Is this all you truly are? Just a cog. Just a strategic asset to play for him. You feel sick. You knew this. You knew it but not to him… right? He's like a brother to you– you mean something to him… right? “I won't forgive you,” you whisper.

“If Satoru lives… I will learn to live with it.”

He leaves and you sink to the marble titles beneath you. You can't breathe. Your lungs don't work.

Satoru walks back in and his mouth is moving but you cannot hear a word he says. He helps you to the bed, kneeling before you, watching you with concern.

“Where is Geto? What ha–”

“Satoru, where is Sir Toji?” You whisper. You want to cry. You want to scream and sob and succumb to the trembling in your body. You can't do any of this without him by your side… Without his squeezes of reassurance… without being reminded of the trust he has in you.

“Lady (Y/N)... Sir Toji isn't an honourable knight. It is best if you just forget any of this happened. He was never your knight, not really. You don't have to look out for him.”

“He was honorable to me,” you whisper faintly. Satoru takes your freezing hands. Your eyes are lidded– you are just so tired… so defeated by Geto's words.

“My lady, have you considered he was merely trying to free himself of the guilt he feels?”

You frown, your gaze finally rises. “What do you mean?”

“He was a guard to your mother. He let them into the castle that knight… I thought by now someone had told you… I apologize.”

You remember the end of your dream. You turned to Toji and he pierced a dagger into your fragile heart.

》》》》

You are sitting in the dining hall in a lavish gown with braided hair and jewellery hanging on your neck.

You feel sick being part of this masquerade.

The food on your plate is untouched, your stomach turns with dread and you cannot swallow a thing. You are scared… you are empty.

“Is the food not to your liking, your grace?” Nanami asks.

You look up at him finding a coldhearted gleam in his eyes.

“Do I need to punish the cook?”

“No, my lord. My appetite has simply not returned yet. You must forgive me… It has been a rough few days– and I am worried about Sir Toji.”

You can hear Geto's fork drag against the porcelain. His eyes shoot flames at you.

“You mustn't be concerned.”

“I am my mother's daughter. I have been told she always looked out for her staff, Lord. I apologize.”

He thinks, sipping his bloody wine. You cannot take this much longer. “That is indeed true. She always made sure we were taken care of.”

Your head now turns to look at him. “You were one of my mother's knights?”

An eerie smile spreads on his thin lips. “You do not recall me? I was your favorite knight, princess.”

Your stomach twists in sickness. “I am sorry. I do not remember anything before that night.” It's sad but the truth. You don't remember your mother. The people around you tell you what she was like but you'll never know for yourself. It's all gone, overpowered by the events of that fateful night.

You do not know how you feel about Nanami now. If he would care about you he would have saved you sooner. This isn't for you. Nothing ever was or is.

Your mind wanders. The soft squeeze of Toji's fingers, reassurance that didn't need to be given– yet you needed it every time and he knew. There was nothing to gain. There was nothing to obtain when he made you laugh and his snarky banter made you hate him, made your heart race. There certainly was more to lose when you asked him to kill you and yet he was willing to try… for you. And maybe he even stopped for your sake. You don't want to die… you just don't want to live like this. And the kiss, he would certainly be hanged if Lord Nanami or worse King Sukuna found out, but he did it because you needed it, wanted it and against his better judgement he did too. Maybe he thought it was worth it, that feeling your lips against his was worth risking his life… just be because it is you.

“Very well then.” Lord Nanami gets up. “Come along.”

“My lord, I don't think–” Geto shuts his mouth at a simple glance of Nanami. You feel the coldness all around you. Nanami is dangerous. You just cannot exactly tell how yet.

You follow him until you reach a spiralling staircase. He offers his arm and you take it. “What was my mother like, Lord Nanami?” You ask against your better judgement. You don't want to converse with him but knowing more about your mother is an insatiable thirst. You jump at any change you get, grasp at any scrap of retelling.

“She was a force,” Lord Nanami says. “Kind, headstrong, just. But she was incredibly cruel too. She was everything a leader should be.”

You look up at him, your eyes glow so mortified of what he just said. “Cruel?”

He nods. “She showed no mercy to those she deemed undeserving. There was an entire village she let slaughters. She stood on a hill, like a goddess of death, watching it all. It was horrific.”

Your skin prickles with disgust. Why? Why would she do this? Doesn't that mean she was just like Sukuna? Everyone always told you how kind and just she was. Was that only part of the story?

Lord Nanami takes a torch and you jump at some rats hurrying away. The air is damp and mouldy, you feel crushed by the darkness of this place. He leads you down a row of cells and the sickness in your stomach grows. The people inside look like walking dead spirits. They are malnourished, injured with oozing wounds. It smells so bad. Your eyes widen seeing a cell full of… boys.

“What have they done?” You ask.

“Steal from the kitchen.”

You turn a corner and screams echo around you. At the end of the dark tunnel some warm light flickers. You don't want to believe it but with every step it becomes clearer.

You want to run but Lord Nanami grabs you. His gloved fingers squeeze your cheeks. “If you want his suffering to end you will send him away. Tell him he's nothing and not worthy to be even near you.”

“I don't want to do that!” You hiccup. Why? Why is this happening?

“Then you will watch him die.”

Nanami lets go and steps towards the chamber. Your heart rings inside of your ears.

Toji laughs, catching his breath. He tastes copper on his tongue and damn his whole body burns. But he won't give in. He can't leave you. He has abandoned many things in his life but you won't be one of them. You need him. You need your knight.

“What else, hm?” Toji mocks and spits blood at the guards feet. They cannot break his resolve– not when it's about you. He meant it. His sword, his body and his heart. It is all yours. He is yours.

Toji braces himself but instead soft hands reach for him, stroking his hair back. He recognizes the sensation immediately, your energy seeping into his wounds and soothing them over.

“(Y/N),” he looks up, finding your eyes. There is so much relief but so much worry as well. You want to die. You can't do it to him… but you must.

“This is pointless. You never took an oath, Sir Toji.” You squad down and cup his face. “Just leave. I don't need you anymore.” You look up at Nanami. You can't continue… You don't want to say any of this. But what happens if you don't… It's worse. He will hate you but he will live.

“W-what?” Toji's green eyes peek from his dark hair, big and oh so confused. His lips shake and his chest moves irregularly. It's making you feel sick. You just want to wrap your arms around him. You want everyone else to just vanish so it's only Toji and you. Just you and him like in your dream. But now you're putting a dagger through his heart.

You get up, “did you really think you could be my knight? You are–” you want to throw up. “Just a worthless outcast. Take the money and return to your sorry excuse of a life. You mean nothing to me, you never have… don't be stupid.”

He looks up at you. It's heartbreak, it's anger and desperation. You can see it. He wants to wake up from this nightmare too.

You walk away. You can't take it. You can't bear it. Tears threaten to give away your act.

You run. You hate everything. You hate everything but Sir Toji. He has been so kind… So true… And you break him. You had to do it. Maybe he will know it's a lie…maybe he will feel it deep within. Please. You never cared for the gods but you need them to make this right. Please.

Lord Nanami grabs your arm and pulls you around. You are ready to hit him but the look on his face makes you freeze. You are terrified.

He chews on words but before he decides what to say you tear free and hurry to your room. You fall on the bed and just cry. The weight of the world sits upon your shoulders again and you cannot breathe. Sir Toji is the only one who cares about you, who sees you as someone and not just the princess. When he calls you, he uses no title but your name. You miss him so terribly much. You can't do this without him.

You need your knight.

》》》》

The next day is a blur. You are functioning, attending breakfast, lunch and supper but never stomaching much. The guilt inside of you makes you full enough.

You hope Sir Toji never felt this way. That whatever happened that night did not manifest like this.

Geto has been yelling at you, Satoru tries to be comforting. Nanami is dangerously quiet.

You've been thinking about so many things. Is this truly better than the alternative? And if this means Satoru will live then why are you not doing the most to make it work? You used to only think about the wellbeing of others… why is it so hard now? Should you apologize to Lord Nanami? Should you try to love him? Could you ever forgive him for what he made you do? Then of course, your thoughts ruminate around Sir Toji. How is Sir Toji? Where is he? Does he know? Is he making up a plan to save you? Will he forgive you? And then somewhere far back in your mind, you wonder who your mother truly was? You have heard how kind she was, what a great ruler… and now, now she is cruel too. You are your mother’s daughter. They keep telling you. Do you have cruelty in you too?

The door flies open and tears you from your spiral, it is Satoru. The look on his face is scary, his skin is pale.

“My lady,” he kneels before you. “Tell me you haven't been with Sir Toji. Tell me, please.”

You blink at him. He is so distressed. What is this about? Been with… “No! No! Why would you say that?!” You sit up and blink up at him as he gets up again. He looks more relaxed instantly.

“Good,” he whispers meekly. “Then you have nothing to fear. I am… sorry, my lady.”

The door opens once again and it is Lord Nanami, Geto, a man you don't know and two guards. They all look grim. Geto does not look at you at all.

“What's going on, Lord Nanami?” You get up. You grab a rope as you are only in your nightgown– Nanami takes it from you.

“Excuse me?!”

“You won't be needing that,” he says, tossing it on a chair. “I have reason to suspect you are not pure, princess. And if you are to produce me a legitimate heir… that is not something–”

You strike him across the face. “How dare you insinuate such a thing!”

He lets out a dry, “hah.” He leans closer to your ear, only speaking to you. “I am not a fool, princess. I have seen how you act around Zenin.”

You look at him with horror.

“Guards,” he nods at you and the two burly men walk towards you.

You step back until you hit the bed. The first guard pushes you down to sit.

“The physician will examine your private parts and deny or confirm my suspension,” Nanami says in a sigh and sits in one of the armchairs.

Your throat dries up. “No– no I don't– Don't touch me!” You yell at the guards and push their hands away. They grab your wrists and one of them hikes up your dress.

“No! NO!” You start to kick and squirm, twist your body. “Stop! I don't want this! Stop! STOP!” They struggle to pin you down, their grip only tightening. “Please!” Your voice breaks when the physician comes into view.

One of the guards loses his patience with you rips at your dress, making it move past your knees. His gloved hand grabs the flesh of your thigh trying to spread it.

“Geto! Geto! Make them stop! Geto! Help me!” You sob and cry at the top of your lungs. “Suguru!”

“Stop.” He raises his voice. Nanami crooks an eyebrow. He is entirely unfazed by all of it.

The guards let go of you, unclear on instructions now. Geto comes up to the other side of the bed and you crawl to him with haste, hiding in his embrace. You are crying, trembling all over, clinging to him.

“Satoru, hold her legs.”

Your eyes widen and you immediately try to escape him but you crawled to him for safety, and he's got you now.

“No! NO!” You scream and twist your body but he easily pulls up your dress and expose your undergarments.

“My lady, please,” Satoru says through gritted teeth, hesitating to grab your ankles. He is meant to protect you… Suguru is meant to protect you. Why are they doing this?

“Satoru,” Geto urges and lets one of your wrists go to grab the back of your knee and pull it to your face. Your newly free hand claws at his face, nails digging into the flesh of his cheek but once Satoru has your legs secured, Suguru shackles your wrist again.

You scream from the top of your lungs when cold hands touch the back of your thighs and then moving someplace even worse.

“Toji!” You cry, your last resort. Your only refugee and hope. “Toji! Toji! Please!” You sob. “Please. Save me.”

“It all looks intact. See for yourself, my lord.”

Nanami gets up, striding over with not a care in the world. He touches you with such self-evidence that you want to throw up. His hands touch you like you belong to him, are his property.

You scream from so far within that the waters around the castle shake.

》》》》

He is drunk.

Toji barely manages to walk but he has to get rid of this money or he will die from this feeling.

He is empty. So totally empty. He thought you could fill the void, that you really are something to believe in– someone who believed in him… But he truly was stupid. Just like you said. Stupid and unworthy.

He's heard it his entire life.

He makes it to the orphanage and bangs at the door until it cracks open timidly. She has no time to be terrified as Toji drops the sack of coins in her hand. He turns and ambles on.

“Sir! You have a big heart!” She yells after him.

A big heart? No. He has none at all. He thought he discovered the beating thing in his chest, thought that maybe he was capable of feeling something other than hatred and anger and regret and guilt again… that maybe after all, he wasn't a monster.

But only a monster deserves to be treated like this, right? It's the only explanation.

Toji gets on his horse, barely. And opens another bottle of wine. He really is so stupid.

Only a monster would be able to take this pain. How could he have been so stupid. You are just a noble… you are everything he hates.

He just rides aimlessly. He thought he had finally discovered what he is meant to do. It was all he wanted to be, be your knight and protect you with his life. His sword, his body and his heart. He wanted to give it all to you. You were his purpose and now he is lost again.

But maybe it's the karma catching up to him eventually. Maybe he truly was at fault for everything. You would have sent him away once you found out anyway. How involved he was that night. It was never going to last…

Toji looks up and his face twists. He is at the lake again and looking out onto the shore, he sees you in the water. How carefree you were, laughing and smiling. How you looked at him like he was worthy… Like he was human.

His lip quivers and his breaths become shaky. He is breaking. No assassin or mage or curse could bring him down… but he is defeated now in the wake of you. Tears well in his eyes as the water glimmers like it did that evening. One perfect moment to haunt him forever.

He drops the bottle of wine and covers his face. Monsters don't cry. Monsters don't care.

“Why are you here?!”

Toji looks at the lady of the lake. He didn't even notice the water rose all the way to where he stands.

“Why aren't you with our queen!” She accuses.

“She send me away,” Toji rolls his eyes. “What do you want to hear, lady?”

“Toji Zenin! You ought to protect her! It is your duty!” She suddenly becomes 4 meters tall, hovering over him.

“I told you! She send me away. She doesn't need me anymore!” Toji yells. “She is some fancy castle with better people. I was never her knight! I was never– Get out of my business or drown me.” He wants to ride on but then…

“She needs you.”

In the water an image is projected. Toji's eyes widen and the blood in his veins freezes as he watches you struggle against 4 men. It's like an distant echo traveling through the waters.

“Toji!” Your voice reverberates.

He takes a shaky breath.

“Save me! Please!”

“She doesn't know how strong she is yet… she relies on you. You give her strength–”

Toji digs his heels into the side of his horse and make it take off, galloping the way he came.

He should have never left.

》》》》

You haven't been able to move ever since…

You feel like your body isn't yours. Maybe it never was. It was Sukuna's your entire life and now it is Nanami's. You sob again, staring at the window. It has been raining for days now. You can't stop crying and the sky won't stop weeping either.

You don't know what hurts more. That it happened at all or that there was no one who protected you. No one who… cared. You feel so alone.

It's just you in the entire world against every selfish man. Just you against their power as you have none of your own.

Sir Toji lent you his… but now he's gone too.

The door opens. It is Geto. “Lord Nanami wants to have dinner with you. Get ready.” Attending ladies usher in with a selection of dresses and jewellery, ready to put this mask on your decaying body. You hate it. You hate it all.

At least Geto and Gojo have been unable to look you in the eyes. At least they feel some remorse. You hope they do. You hope your cries echo in their ears forever. You don't think you can ever salvage your companionship after this. You are all alone in this castle.

Truthfully, there is not much you left. Who are you anyway? The Princess, of course. Your mother’s daughter. A legend and a saint. Sukuna's bride to be– Nanami's now. But is that all?

You think that Sir Toji saw more in you.

You and Nanami are alone for dinner. You reply to his questions like the princess who started this journey would have. You were so… hollow… then. So much happened. It was just a few days but… it changed you.

“I have set the wedding ceremony for tomorrow.”

“As you wish, my lord,” you nod.

“It is good to see your spirits have returned.”

How odd it is. You have never in your life felt more dead. No… wait. Have you felt like this before? You just never knew? You had no comparison? Wasn't this heaviness all you knew until Sir Toji showed you more? Is your depression the result of knowing what life could be like?

“Thank you, my lord. I apologize again for my behavior,” your mouth is just moving, saying what he wants to hear. You have done that your whole life with your father too. Just tell them what they want to hear and everything is fine.

Your spirits?

Your spirits want to claw his eyes out, want to cut his head off and then some!

He gets up and walks over to you, leaning against the table right next to where you sit. “I hope you may forgive me for what I was forced to do. You must understand the importance to a man.”

“I do, my lord.”

Your spirits want to see his blood pooling outside his body, your spirits want to skin him alive.

The wind outside picks up and lashes at the stained glass windows making you look at them. Why are you having these thoughts? You are not violent. You are the kind princess, the princess everyone is waiting for to bring peace, you are a saint, you are hope and good. You cannot be… Cruel…?

Lord Nanami reaches his hand out and pats the top of your head. You freeze all over, your lungs become stone. “After our wedding, the real fight begins.”

“Yes.”

“But that's not something you will have to concern yourself with.” His hand slides to your chin, holding it and tilting your gaze up to meet his. “You just have to be pretty by my side. The people want their princess.”

You are terrified of him. He is everything they warned you about. He is so cold, so rigid. You hate being touched by him. He's nothing like Sir Toji.

He touched you like you're his possession and you know it will only get worse after the wedding.

“I apologize it won't be a celebration that is worthy of you, princess,” he husks and his thumb traces your lip.

“I understand the circumstances, my lord.” Your pulse rises. You want to run. You just want to get away from him.

“Do you now?” His gaze intensifies.

“I… I understand that you are doing your best.” He nods and finally stops touching you. You get up instantly, the chair screams as you push it back. “I should retire, sire. Goodnight.” You bow and turn but…

“Did I allow it?”

The hair on your body stand. “May I?” Your voice shakes. What is he trying to prove?

Why is he doing this? He sees you shaking. You know he does.

“You may.”

You can't take this. You don't want to live like this. It is all so hopeless. King Sukuna would have at least just hurt you, would have clawed at your skin until it broke, would have treated you like nothing, a toy or a pet– but these showcases of subtle, gentle, but lethal power that Nanami keeps throwing at you just to remind you– it makes you sick.

You hurry up the stairs and into your room. The doors to the balcony are open, probably because of the wind, and you think it's a sign. The only way to save yourself now.

You step with courage and determination. You don't want to die but it's the only way. It all happens in the blink of an eye. You step onto the railing and then step off the ledge. There is no hesitation. You cannot do this. You won't live this life.

But you don't fall.

You hang off the side of the balcony, held by your wrist. The rain stops almost instantly when you look up.

He pulls you up, over the railing and you make him fall to his bottom with the force you crash into his arms. He holds the back of your head gently.

He came back. He came back to you.

You squeeze him so tightly and cry. You don't know if it's happiness or relief but you cry.

You cup his face in your shaking hands, “I didn't mean any of those awful words! Nanami made me say it. He said he would kill you. I had no choice. I am sorry I am so sorry, Sir Toji.”

He chuckles, “I know… I know. You're a terrible actress and a worse liar.” But the look in his eyes tells another story. He did believe it, tricked by his own insecurities.

The sun peeks through the clouds, a beam cascades down on you and you feel like you can breathe again. He is finally here.

“It was so awful without you,” you sob, leaning your face into his hand as he cups it tenderly, catching your tears. “I am just so glad you are alright– I was so worried!”

Toji swallows hard. The lump in his throat is painful. He wants to take all your suffering away, he can carry it but you shouldn't, you don't have to… not as long as he is there. “I'm a lousy knight, aren't I? Leaving you alone like this. My lady–”

You look at him then frantically try to find his sword. “You have to take the oath–” Once an oath has been made there is no going back on it. If he swears to be your knight, carving it into his sword– it is done and nothing will separate you.

“(Y/N),” he says with softness and takes your hands, stopping you in your frenzy. “I won't leave again. Oath or not… I already swore myself to you. My body. My sword. My heart and my soul. All yours. Tell me how you are?”

You blink at him for a moment then press your face to his chest, sobbing and twisting the fabric of the soaked linen shirt he is wearing. You seem to want to be absorbed by him. You would be safe if you crawled in his ribcage. “I am so scared, Sir Toji. They… they… they did something to me. I can't get the feeling of their cold hands off my skin.”

Toji sighs and holds you. His heart is aching with hurt and anger. He can't promise you it won't happen again, it will only be worse when– if you marry Nanami. He can't find a way to protect you. You could run… but run where? He could kill Nanami but he'd never make it out of there alive.

Toji picks you up and walks inside, sitting you down on the stool in front of the vanity. You watch him like a hawk, what if he isn't really here and taking your eyes off him makes him disappear again? What if this isn't even real?

He lets hot water into the bath, looks at the oils but decides to pour the entire bottle in. He turns back to you. “You'll catch a cold if you don't get out of your soaked clothes, princess.” He can't read your face right now. You are usually an open book to him and he hates this.

“You too,” your voice is weak, fighting to be heard over the water running into the tub.

His lips twitch. Like they want to turn into a smile but can't.

You get up and turn your back to him. He walks up to you and starts untying your corset. There is so much to say but nothing moves past his lips.

He is sorry. He is so sorry.

You wonder what he's thinking.

You are so relieved… so happy.

You take your clothes off and hide yourself more than you did before. He admired that, that you had no shame of your body. That you stood there proudly like the gods made you.

The room becomes heavy with the steam and oriental smell. He takes his sticky shirt off too, maybe when he's exposed too you will feel more comfortable. “You go first.”

“Come in with me?” you ask, meeting his eyes with so much hope. He can't tell you no. He never would.

You settle in the hot water, your back against his chest, head resting on his shoulders. His fingertips softly ghost up and down your arms. The touch is so different. He touches you with care and appreciation, not like you are his possession. You can feel the difference in your heart.

“I like when you touch me,” you whisper. “It's different.” Your fingers move to your own lips, touching them– reminiscing on what it felt like when he kissed you. You wanted more that night. You wanted him to not stop.

You feel yourself stiffen up when his large hands slide over your hips to your thighs. Toji can see the bruises and it is hard to keep his cool but he does for you.

You don't need his anger right now… You need to be taken care of.

“Is that okay?” He husks close to your ear, afraid to raise his voice. You shiver all over because his hands are so soothing, so safe. They slide up and down your thighs expelling any remains of your assault. Only his touch stays.

“Thank you,” you say and melt into him.

Your own fingers now trace over his knuckles, feeling the veins on the back of his hand. You guide his hand further to your core, spreading your legs cautiously.

Toji kisses the curve where your shoulder and neck connect. He knows what you want but he isn't sure if it is genuine or a misled attempt to feel better. “My lady?” He kisses your shoulder again. “You don't–”

“Please.”

There is an urgency in your tone, a beg. You know what you're asking for. Toji doesn't want to deny it. He wants to give you everything and all.

Your breath shakes as his fingers apply gentle pressure to your cunt. Your own hand stays on his wrist like a precaution. His fingers spread your second pair of lips open. You let out such a beautiful gasp when his finger finds your clit. The grasp on his wrist tightens.

“Is that okay?”

“Y-yes,” you whisper. Your eyebrows furrow tightly. “Ah-” your hand moves to your mouth covering it. Why do these sounds wants to come out?

Toji smiles softly, taking your hand into his free one and squeezing it softly for comfort, “it's okay, princess. Don't hold yourself back.”

You whine, head rolling on his shoulder. You don't know this feeling. It's bubbling right under your skin and wants to come out but you don't know how.

You turn your head, lidded eyes finding his serpentine ones before dropping to his lips. You liked kissing him so much… So So much.

He must be reading your mind and capturing your lips with his. You moan into his mouth and he takes the chance to deepen the kiss, his finger circling your ever swelling clit irregularly.

It gets almost too hot to breathe. You feel this foreign sensation stir in your tummy. You don't want him to stop.

But would he? If you asked him too would he?

The feeling makes your thighs tremble and you pull away from his lips, the hand still clutching his wrist now pushes ever so slightly and before you can even say something he stops, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you further into his body. His chin rests on your shoulder, pitch black hair flopping into your peripheral vision.

“Too much?”

You can't get your words to work and you nod instead, chest rising and falling heavily.

“That's okay.”

Tears swell up in your eyes and you try to swallow around the lump in your throat. “I…I didn't want you to stop,” you whisper. “I just wanted to know… if you would.”

You can feel how the faintest smile spreads on his lips. It isn't patronising, no… it's full of kindness and caring. “My lady… I'm your knight… I do whatever you tell me to do.”

You turn around so swiftly making water splash outside the tub, kneeling between his thighs and clawing your nails into his shoulders. “Is that the only reason– is that all this is?!” You are scared it is because it isn't for you.

The softness on his face never wavers. The water splashes over the edge once more as he moves to grab your face, joining your lips together again. His answer, one you cannot misunderstand.

You collapse against his chest, rising and falling with the steady breaths he takes. You can hear his heart pump so strongly. “I like when you call me by my name instead of a title.”

“Yet you have never called me just my name.”

“I call you Sir Toji because I respect you so much… and when you call me by my name… I know that you see me and care for me. The real me. When you call me by my name… I know I'm real.”

“(Y/N)...” He sighs, hand twirling your hair. “I am not honorable… I never was. I deserve your wrath… not your respect.” Let alone your affection. “By now someone must have told you.”

“Satoru said you were only protecting me to lessen your guilt,” you sit back, leaning against the other end of the tub. He doesn't look at you now, head hung over back.

“Maybe… Perhaps… but it is not the reason I will give everything to you now. I want to serve you because you are you.”

You are scared to ask, scared it will change how you see him but you have to know. “What happened that night?” You hug your legs and rest your chin on your knees, staring at him with caution. You don't think you could ever hate him. He is your only ally. He came back. But what if it will hurt too much?

Toji fills his lungs with air– with courage. He won't leave you again– even if you hate him. He will stay by your side. He's done running from good things. That night at the Zenins… your rejection… it felt like daggers to his chest. He can't take it all over again but if that is his punishment he will endure. He will not leave you again. You can scream at him, deprive him of all your affection, hate him even but he will not leave your side ever again.

“I let them in. If I had followed orders… none of it would have happened…. You wouldn't be in this situation. But… I didn't know what their intention was… I thought my father had sent my uncle on official business… I didn't know he was already dead. It was odd to come unannounced but they were my family…. I didn't know the Zenins had allied with Sukuna.” He chuckles darkly. “They only sent me to the palace to use my loyalty.”

“What do you mean?” You frown.

“Ah,” he sighs. “I was always rejected by my family. I wasn't the ideal… heir… Or something like that. When I voiced that I wanted to become a knight they sent me to serve as a royal guard instead. I couldn't decline. They told me it was so I could prove myself to them, when our queen sees fit, I would become a knight and earn their respect. But–”

“But it was simply to use your hope and loyalty… to have someone inside the castle to then exploit,” you say and he finally looks at you. “What happened then?”

Toji shrugs. “I killed 2 of my cousins in the chaos that night. I tried to get to the throne hall to protect her but…” Toji's lips twitch and he turns his face away. The bathroom is still foggy. Water droplets standing still in the air listening in. Toji scratches at the scar on his lip. “They send the monsters after me. My one weakness. They even planned for the possibility of me fighting back. There was nothing I could do. They chased me out of the city, I killed them… somehow. It was luck. I never meant to run… I– I would have protected your mother and you to the last breath like I swore when I took the oath. But… it was over already.”

“And then?”

Toji frowns at you. How can you be so calm? “I.. I became a knight in a far away kingdom… I had a nice life there for a while… called myself a different name– had a wife and a kid.” His thumb traces over his empty ring finger.

You thought he looked troubled before but it is like all his defences drop now, leaving a broken ache behind. His shoulders hurt from carrying all his sins, the skin is ragged and his bones brittle. He has always known suffering like it was interwoven into his fate. You know it before he says it. The cruelest tragedy a loving man can know.

“I couldn't protect them either.” He chews on these words, never able to stomach the taste and he never will be. His heart will always host them, as it should. And it will always hurt… as it must. “I was going to end my life… But, hah, this white stag attacked me out of nowhere… kinda hard to ignore that.”

“That is why you came back and tried to do good?”

He laughs sharply. “Yeah… do good. Least the way I know how to.”

“That night you found out… I was with a white stag? Do you think… maybe?”

His lips quirk. It isn't his usual grin but an honest smile. “I would like that.”

“Me too.”

You move to him again, bridging the gap between you and laying your head against his chest. You cannot offer condolences that would make his ache lessen but you can do one thing… “I forgive you.”

“W-what?” He stiffens up.

It would be easy to blame him… But it isn't logical. He was a chess piece like you are one now.

“I forgive you. You were used and you atoned enough– if there was anything to atone for at all. I forgive you, Sir Toji.” You look at him, smiling defiantly. “It wasn't your fault. Now that I know your story… I can say so confidently.”

Toji cups your face in his rugged hands, brushing his rough thumb against your plumb cheek. “Don't say something like this so easily–”

You put your hands over his. “But it is easy. It is you.”

He pulls you closer to himself, trying to absorb you now. He think he'd might feel whole if he'd absorb you. He thought he could never find that feeling in his heart again– he thought he had no heart left– it overwhelms him. He doesn't know what to do with it– well, except…

He kisses you intimately and deeply, taking his time. His lips move with intention, teasing and giving into you all at once. It leaves you trembling, cracks open in your chest and spill out warmth. He pulls away eventually, eyes locking together like the pieces of a riddle. He is always making you question and you are always his answer.

“Toji… I want more,” you whisper like saying it too loud will get you hanged instantly.

He sighs with tenderness, brushing your wet hair off your cheek. “You know we can't–”

Your forehead drops to his shoulder. “I don't want to– I don't…”

Toji picks you up, not bothering to dry off, carrying you to the bed. He sits you down and kneels before you with his head coming to rest on your knees. It's a harsh fate, a rotten truth, but one he cannot protect you from and one you will have to live with. “If you don't bleed tomorrow when you're with Nanami he will do worse to you.”

“I know,” your voice is so weak, so defeated and exhausted. Your hand caresses over his skull. “I do know.” And yet you crave him, your knight. You don't want to be ruined, you want to be appreciated and loved and you know Toji would do that. You lay back, looking at the ceiling of this prison. What if you would just run away right now? Just you and Toji? You could live somewhere deep in the woods. Just you and him. Why do you care what happens to this land? To its people? To the magic folk? Why is all of it your responsibility? Why do you carry it all?

Why.. do… you care?

You are your mother’s daughter.

But what does that even mean? You don't know her. You don't even know yourself.

You look down when Sir Toji's hands gently push your legs apart. You don't panic, not when it's him, but your face is full of questions. You both know you cannot… so what is he doing?

He kisses the inside of your thigh and a spark swirls in your stomach. “What are you doing?” You husk with curiosity. There is a heat pooling in the inside of your body.

He looks up with a grin, expelling the heavy air in the room again and replacing it with the familiar tension between the two of you that you like so much.

“Ah… I may not be able to fuck you–”

“Sir Toji!”

“I'll still give yer a taste, princess. Well, I'll get a taste.”

You don't understand, watching intently as his kisses move closer and closer to your core. He looks at you again and winks and it all becomes clear to you then.

“N-no– don't kiss– there–”

Your body feels electrified as his lips kiss you down there. You cannot help the little gasp escape from your mouth as your hands fly to cover it. His tongue feels so hot as it slithers in your wetness, touching all the tender spots. Your head spins, all muscles in your body tense.

“Want me to stop?”

“N-no!’ You don't want him to stop. You want more. You want to feel these feelings through. See where this heat leads, where the tension in your body goes to. You want him to get it all out of you.

“Thought so,” he hums and kisses your clit. This time he focuses on it. His gongue gldes over it, his lips close around the magical bud. It feels so good– entirely too much and don't want him to stop.

Your hands go into his hair, fingers tugging gently on his raven hair. You can't help yourself. You have no control.

“Sir Toji,” you whisper breathlessly.

“I know… ‘s okay,” he says so gingerly it tugs at your heart.

Your breath hitches and it feels like you will succumb. You don't know to what. But you will.. You just know you want to. You want it. You want more. You want him.

But the feeling fizzles out and instead you feel his hands on your cheek.

“N-no– please… Please. Don't stop,” you beg in a whisper.

“You're crying,” he mumbles and kisses the stream of teaers coming from your eyes.

Your hand raises and you touch your own cheek. Why are you crying? This feels amazing. There is nothing to cry about? No. It's not that.

“Please… It feels so good. Don't know why i am crying– Sir Toji–” You blink at him and the frown on his face seems to wash away. You follow his hand as it travels down your stomach.

Your eyes close your back twists as he applies pressure to your clit with his middle finger, slowly rubbing in circles.

“Toji–”

Your nails drag Into his flesh as your hips seem to have a mind of their own, rolling into his touch like they know a cue you don't.

He kisses and licks at your tears, swallowing your gasps with his mouth in sloppy kisses.

You want more.

You want more.

“I got you, (Y/N).”

You look at him, having a hard time keeping your eyes open as a feeling of pure bliss seems to approach. “T-Toji?”

“Fuck,” he rumbles and leans closer kissing your nose. “You're so beautiful… makes me–,” he whispers and never finishes. Toji smiles with a sort of tenderness you long for and kisses you. He will tell you another time.

Your breath seems to run out and your grip on him tightens. Something deep in you snaps, sending waves of pleasure through your body that make you moan out softly. You shake and twitch uncontrollably, feeling this addictive bliss electrify your veins with his warm skin pressing into yours.

Toji lets you down gently, showering you in soft spoken praise and those reassuring squeeze you have longed for when he was gone. He holds you, lips gracing your skin ever so gently as you catch your breath.

You loved it. You loved that he made you feel this way. You loved how close you felt to him during all of this, how much trust you could put in him.

Your knight. Friend. Your love.

And yet, you start sobbing.

It's like it cracked open a part in your soul where you have shoved every emotion into for so long. You hate it– saying yes to everyone, being adequate and small and pliable. You hate it. You hate being your mother's daughter. You hate being a saint and a legend and a price. You hate being this manufactured you. All your father has ever done was groom you into this awful thing for King Sukuna. He used you to keep his own head upon his shoulders. And Geto is just the same. You thought he was like your older brother, watching over you and teaching you, but he too used you for his own agenda. And Satoru… He has no backbone to take a stand. Only Sir Toji ever cared about you.

You are angry… and desperate and full of love to give. But it is impossible in this life you have. It is impossible to hope for anything else. The part you play has been written by everyone but yourself and there is no way out.

You will be marrying Lord Nanami tomorrow and by doing that, start a war.

“You okay?” Toji's voice is soft spoken. You smile at him and he knows it is genuine, yet your tears never stop rolling down your face.

He has lived a treacherous life but he can never fathom what you feel, what you bear on your shoulders. He would take it all on himself if he could.

You wipe your tears, though it does nothing. “That's… what that feels like?” You sniff and giggle all at once.

He chuckles, stroking through your hair. He doesn't want to say these next words but he has to. Maybe protecting you right now means saying those awful, true things to you when no one else will. It's all he can do without putting you into more danger.

He hugs you, burying his face in the crook of your neck and breathing you in like he scrapes for courage. He raises again and looks at you with a concerned frown.

He takes your hand and guides it to your core, leading your finger through your wetness.

“Feel that? Tomorrow when– you know… Try to get yourself wet like this. It will make it hurt less. Think of…” He struggles to give examples, knowing you have zero experience aside from–

“You?” You whisper, filling in the obvious.

His face softens but only for a second. He then turns away, sitting up with his back to you. He thought he was strong enough to look you in the eye while saying this, but he clearly is not. You know he turns away because he tries to hide the tears that glisten in his eyes. “Try to… appease him. Give him… something. If you resist or seem absentminded, it will only make him angry. I wish i could–”

You hug him and place a kiss on his spine. “You're doing enough, Sir Toji.”

He sighs deeply but lets you cup his face and wipe the one tear that slipped from his cheek.

“I wouldn't know what to do without you.” You whisper. He drops his head, leaning into your touch. “You look tired… let's rest.”

He is tired and he knows you are too. He knows sleep won't fix a thing.

He holds you to himself, not wanting you to slip away. Who knows when the next time will be he gets to hold you so close. His heart sinks.

Toji feels as powerless as he did back then. He prays this time he will find a solution.

“Sir Toji? Was my mother… Cruel?”

He misses no beat to answer your odd question. “No. She didn't have a cruel heart– she just had no choice and needed to protect herself and her people. At times… that meant being cruel.”

“Do you think I can be cruel too?”

Toji thinks. “Yes. But I hope you never have to be… I just mean… i can be cruel for you instead. There mustn't be any blood on your hands.”

What if it's the only way?

》》》》

“Toji?”

He jerks up but you immediately soothe the shock by reaching your hands out cupping his cheeks. “The sun is about to rise. No need to panic… we still have time. Do you have a knife?”

Toji blinks. Just Toji. You said just Toji. “My pocket?” He rasps, watching how you grab it. What would you need it for? Is he still sleeping? Is this a senseless dream? “What do you– Princess!” Toji jumps up, falling over and tumbling to you.

“It's all good,” you giggle while a deep cut oozes blood on your hand. “You see, I have a quill and paper but no ink. This must do.”

“(Y/N)...” he sighs. If you needed blood, he had given his own to you in buckets. He stares at the paper not realizing you look at him.

“Sir Toji… privacy, please.”

“Pff,” he rolls his eyes and turns away, gathering his clothes. Who would you be writing to now? Why can't he know? He wants to know. He wants to know everything regarding you.

You finish the letter and wrap your wound in a cloth. He watches carefully as you fold it up, expecting you will give it to him so he delivers it but you don't.

Instead, you step outside on the balcony. The air is crisp as the sun fights to rise above the mountains in the distance. The sky is blooming in a mix of deep blue and aggressive orange hues. A little hawk lands on the railing like it knows exactly what to do. You speak to it and it grabs the letter, soaring off with it.

Toji's mouth moves, intending to ask who it was addressed to but he loses his words seeing your shoulder rise and fall with a deep, lonely breath.

“It is my wedding day,” you say as if an invisible hand is clutching your throat. You turn to him, putting on your best, forced Smile. “I should get ready.”

Toji's heart keeps breaking on and on for you. He would do anything to free you of this fate. “(Y/N)... don't play princess with me… you don't have to.”

Your eyebrows fall and your lip quivers. “It is so scary, Sir Toji.” Your voice quakes and tears slip from your eyes. “You'll be there, right?” You twist the fabric of his sleeves, stepping closer and looking at him with panic. “In the chapel… You will sneak in, right? You'll be there… with me, right?”

“Of course,” he takes a shaky breath himself and hugs you. “(Y/N)... I can kill him. But I'll only manage to kill him– not the monk or Gojo because if I kill him the guards will kill me on the spot. It would solve this but not the root of the problem.” He explains. “Command me to and I will do it without hesitation–”

“No! Sir Toji– no. I need you to be alive for what's to come. I need my knight,” you pull away and look up at him. You smile softly but then a scowl pinches your face. You slap his chest. “Don't you dare die and leave me here alone, you hear me! Don't you dare!”

He chuckles, “I'll try.”

You nuzzle your face against his chest, squeezing as tightly as you possibly can. “I'll try too.”

There is a knock and you look at him. He reaches out one last time and cups your face, leaning down to capture your lips with sticking gentleness. “I'll be there.”

You know he will.

You watch how he climbs back the way he came then you walk inside and lay down on the bed again, pretending to just have awoken.

“Yes?” You say with a fake yawn and a herd of attending ladies walk in, ready to put you in that awful costume again.

Two hours later the ladies leave you alone and you don't recognize the woman in the mirror.

Your hair is pinned up, jewellery glistens around your neck and while the dress is simple it is still entirely wrong.

Who are you? What are you? A human being or just an asset? Kind or cruel? Complacent? Angry? Righteous? Weak?

All of it?

Geto walks in without knocking just as if that bond you once had remains. He comes up behind you, looking you over in the mirror.

“You look beautiful,” he says. His hand gently strokes over your cheek then both are heavy on your shoulders. “I think… once everything has settled down you will understand what I did for you here. You don't have to marry that monster… there is a chance for a free land, Lord Nanami will be a better king, and Satoru is safe. What more could you hope for?”

“Hm. The man who locks up children for stealing as much as some food sure will be a just king,” you sigh and Geto's hands drop from your shoulders. “You have it all figured out, Geto.”

“And if you cannot forgive me, I will learn to live with it. The people I love are safe, that's all… I… can hope for.”

“Hm. I think I want to have a moment to myself before… The ceremony starts.”

“Of course, my lady.”

Geto leaves and you wait for a second to burst. You kick at the mirror and it shatters into pieces then screams into your palm to muffle the sound. You are breaking.

Maybe all you are is rage.

All your mother’s rage when she was betrayed must have found its way into your heart. Pure. Hot. Rage.

And they will all feel it.

》》》》

It is so funny.

How you anticipate it. Hope for it. He is only dragging this on because he likes the view.

You are so uncomfortable up there with the false groom, practically waiting for your savior. He is many things but not a hero. Oh, but he'll gradly play his part.

You are radiant. It would make the greatest man feel weak. Even a monster like him.

He is watching from the back, draped in a cloak, an attendee to this hoax of a wedding with no one suspecting a thing because you aren't half dumb.

And it is quite impressive.

Your words written with blood, showing just how far you are willing to go for him.

He meant to make an example of you. Squash the last hope these peasants have who believe in your return, but maybe you are more than a saint– actually perhaps, you are a monster just like him. And how exciting would that be? You knew writing that letter would mean a little massacre to result from it. And if you didn't… even better. He can't wait to see your face.

Oh it fills him with thrill. You look so innocent and divine in all white. What will you look like when your gown is soaked in blood and you fall to your knees thanking him. When you realize all these lives have been taken because of you. Will you be terrified of what you have done? Feel guilty? Feel relief?

Oh Sukuna cannot help the grin.

He was going to break you but maybe fostering the rotten and wicked parts of you is so much more desirable. He can make you worse and he will and everyone will see wondering why their cutesy little saint princess is actually a cruel monster. That will crush them more than seeing you rot next to him.

“If you object to this union… speak now.”

Sukuna watches how your panicked eyes scan the room for him. If he waits until the union is over, will you start crying? How fun.

But, he is too impatient to see your reaction.

He gets up, dropping the hood of his cloak. “In fact, I do.”

All hell breaks loose in that moment but the man you've been looking out for the entire time is there in seconds to whisk you away to safety. One of Nanamis guards comes at you but Toji takes care of it quickly.

“What did you do?!” Sir Toji says through teeth, looking at you with wide eyes. When you look at his face like this you fear you've made everything worse.

The commotion dies down quickly and the taste of copper is on your tongue. You look up seeing Nanami's severed head on the bottom of the stairs, blood is flowing down in the puddle you so desired to see.

You feel sick.

“What poor security for an event like this,” Sukuna laughs and when he turns toward you, Toji drops to one knee and holds his head low.

He wishes you'd do the same but instead you walk close to the monster like you aren't aware of his reputation.

Sukuna watches how you step into the pooling blood, not caring at all, the ends of your white dress and veil staining crimson. His eyebrow is raised as you reach your hand out, clearing wanting him to offer his and he does because it is so peculiar. Usually everyone cowers in fear before him, especially girls like you but you just take one of his hands as you climb the few stairs to reach him then bow your head slightly.

“My king,” you speak with softness then look him straight in the eyes. “I was worried you'd be late.”

“Ha!” Sukuna is amused. “Wouldn't have missed it… the invitation was just very short notice, don't you think, princess?”

You rub the wound on your hand. “If I could have gotten word to you faster I would have, my king. I apologize.”

He takes your hand into one of his enormous ones and your cut heals.

“By the gods,” you shriek. “You truly are as powerful as they say.”

“Hm,” he chuckles with a gloating tone.

Toji frowns to himself. You could have healed yourself? What are you playing?

“Who is that?” Sukuna demands to know and Toji jumps.

Your heels click on the ground as you walk to him, your hand comes to rest on the back of his head as Toji keeps his head low.

“My knight, Sir Toji. Nanami has sent him away and I could not give him orders to contact you either but,” you softly stroke through his hair once. "He's loyal like a hound. I knew he'd be around today to assist you.”

“Rise, Sir Toji,” Sukuna says and watches closely. “What family are you affiliated with?”

Toji looks at you then back at Sukuna. “None, sire.”

“Interesting.”

“By blood he is a Zenin,” you correct. “But, that's all.”

Toji looks at you for a second with panicked eyes.

Sukuna's face twists wickedly. “But blood is thicker than water, is it not?” He looks at the huge puddle of blood.

“It is… thicker than the water of the womb.”

Sukuna chuckles. “I suppose. No– hold on… I remember you now,” Sukuna walks closer to Toji and your heart beats faster with each step. “You were the one tipping the first stone that night I killed her mother? The Zenin pawn! Yes, Toji.” Sukuna looks at you, scanning for a reaction but there is none – surprisingly. Sukuna then seizes Toji up. “Weren't you… Dead?”

Toji holds Sukuna’s cruel gaze, trying to get his words out. He doesn't know if Sukuna sees him as an ally for what he did or a concern.

“It isn't the only thing the Zenins have lied about, my king,” you say.

“Hmm… you will tell all about that later. Shall we then, princess?” He says walking ahead. You are quick to catch up with him, descending down the aisle with this four armed monster and with Toji following behind.

You all turn around again hearing coughing. “I… I won't… forgive… you,” Geto chokes, spitting blood. He is crawling to reach Satoru. Both of them are severely injured and Satoru might be dead already.

And you don't care at all.

Sukuna watches how your gaze glosses over with glacial apathy. Your fingers tighten to fists and your chin tugs up. It's a lethal stare.

“I'll learn to live with it,” you whisper with sharpness, leaving them to their own fate.

Feedback appreciated ♡

love line

s. on a very drunk night, satoru exposes your crush on the famous mma fighter, and friend of yours, toji zenin

w.c. 12.3k

w. fem! reader, mma!toji! x reader , fluff!, smut!

a/n: this might not be proofread well but I hope yall enjoy. im very in love with this man!

"I can't believe I lost that stock today!"

you're out having drinks with your friends at a fancy bar in shibuya when satoru gets shitfaced drunk. the matter is nothing new. he's the lightweight of the group and doesn't care about getting home most of the time because he knows either you or suguru will take charge and take him home.

you're taking frequent sips of your whiskey as you watch one of the country's most successful business owners mope over a small, so very minuscule, fraction of his wealth fly by. suguru is sitting next to you at the booth and exchanges a look of 'idiot' in reference to the white haired man's sad life story. sukuna is in front of you and no look needs to be exchanged because he simply acts on his thoughts and gives satoru a smack on the back of his head.

and toji's at the center of the booth, smooshed between shoko and satoru. he's looking at satoru in mild amusement, a small smirk on his face at the fool's stupidity as he too drinks from a glass of whiskey. he's wearing a low scooped black long sleeve that probably costs a thousand dollars and rightfully so, it makes him look so handsome. the price nothing compared to the pay he makes as a world champion mma fighter. 

you've known him for the better part of a year, a bit more actually. satoru met him near the end of your college career on a business whim with his father and has since made him a member of your friend group. you're not as close as you wish you could be, the immense nerves you have in fear of him even getting an inkling that you're attracted to him have always stopped you from initiating a more than necessary amount of text conversations or random phone calls. satoru could do that, you couldn't. god, you've even seen suguru have more dms with the raven haired fighter than you. even in the group chat all of you share, you can't bring yourself to connect with him aside from teaming up to tease satoru or sukuna. 

the last thing you ever conversed with him on your phone was a conversation you, surprisingly, started. he had told you about this one taco place and said you would love it based on your shared interest of food. when you told him you'd try it, he had told you, 'better send me a picture when you're there.' and you did. he had sent a laughing emoji when he asked if you liked the food and you said, 'I'd step on lime juice covered shards of glass to eat this again.'

that was the last thing you'd see in your messages between each other. 

he was close to four years older than all of you, except for sukuna, they were only a year apart. he had this endearing scar across his lip that curved so achingly whenever he smiled or grinned. he was built gorgeously, his back a sight to behold whenever you got to see him fight. and his eyes, fuck, the bright mix between grey and green always had you throwing a fit in your bed and wishing you could have him. 

nevertheless, you go back to paying attention to satoru. 

"you profit from so many other stocks satoru. that one stock is just a random occurrence."

"but the ladies won't want to go out with a guy who loses even one stock!" he looks up from where he's sprawled across the table, pouting at you.

"the fact that you're a millionaire at the age of 23 already gets enough ladies." you roll your eyes, unable to help the twitch of your lips at the sight of a little bit of drool seeping from the corner of his mouth

"it's not enough." he mutters

this time, you and sukuna share a deadpan face and you flick satoru's forehead, leaning only slightly across the table.

"yeah you're right. satoru gojo is such a loser for losing a stock, none of the girls are gonna want him now."

out of the corner of your eye, you see toji huff a little laugh at your antics, it makes your heart skip a beat a little that he finds you, even if its mostly satoru, funny.

"don't mock me!" satoru's cheeks are red as he scowls at you the best he can.

"she's not mocking." sukuna snorts, taking a swig of his beer.

"yea she is!" satoru points at you, "I never mock you about toji!"

everybody in the group stills except for satoru, who looks like he's still revved up about the subject.

much like cassie's reaction in euphoria when rue asked her how long she had been fucking nate, all you could do was nervously laugh.

"what–what are you talking about?"

you can feel your entire body starting to shake in fear. it was like you were in elementary again and some mean friend of yours was going to expose your crush on the popular boy of your grade. the fear was something you never thought you'd experience again.

"don't act stupidddd." satoru drags on, as if toji fucking zenin wasn't right next to him, "you're always talking about how bad you want toji and that ' I wish I could talk to him' bullcrap!" he says the last part in imitation of you with a high pitched voice.

suguru is staring at satoru in terror. sukuna is looking at you, in peril for you. shoko looks like she mentally checked out so she couldn't feel your embarrassment.

...and toji is staring at you, his eyes wide and mouth slightly agape, like he doesn't know what to say.

your phone is in your pocket. check. your purse is on your lap. check. satoru can pay for your tab when he comes to his senses. check.

all you can do is abruptly get up and start to dash away, ignoring the yell for you from suguru. you don't look back, pure peril and adrenaline taking over your body as you make it out of the bar as quickly as possible, thanking whatever god that you chose to wear the easiest pair of heels to walk today.

the metro, the metro, the metro.

you look around for a quick second, only taking a second to remember what way the metro was before you rush in its direction. you feel a buzz coming from your pocket when you do, and you can only figure its one of your friends, trying to get you to come back.

you ignore it and rush down the escalator to the metro, making a glance behind you and noting that nobody was behind you. thank god. however, it doesn't stop your pace and your heels click and clack you all the way to a seat on the train to your part of town. 

fuck.

your entire body feels like its on fire and melting. 

toji knows you like him.

fuck.

suguru 5 missed calls

shoko girl where did you go?

sukuna 1 missed call dude, since when do you run track

you have to stop yourself from bashing your head on the pole in front of you. shakily, you press on suguru's contact to call him. you would tell him you were going to home so he wouldn't need to worry. what's the worst that could happen by now anyway. 

"y/n? hello?"

"I'm on the train home." you breathe

"that fast?" he doesn't exclaim, he's not the type to show his surprise so blatantly like his counterpart but you can hear his concern at the fact.

"yeah." you murmur, stomach churning now that the adrenaline's worn off.

suguru sighs, "satoru is scared you're going to kill him now."

and you can hear his wails in the background. 'no she's going to come after me!' 'I need to up my security!' 'is that her on the phone?! y/n pleasseee forgive me!'

your nose scrunches in annoyance and you blurt, "I'm not going to kill you stupid idiot!"

"she says she's not going to kill you." suguru says to satoru and you can hear what you presuppose is suguru pushing the drunk fiend off of him before he continues talking to you, "about toji–"

you feel your stomach drop at the mention of the name, he's still there with them, fully aware of your feelings for him

"ah! don't wanna hear it!"

the beginning of a call to your name from suguru went ignored as you immediately pulled your phone back and pressed the little red button.

the sky had literally fallen for you and now you had to deal with the aftermath—which you weren’t doing right this second, due to what you just did to your friends, but you’d do it eventually. being an adult made sure you had to face it sometime soon. its just that toji zenin learning from satoru gojo that you had a massive crush on him had not ever been something you expected. hell you never expected him to find out in any sort of way, ever. god, he was never supposed to know.

well, your fun was over, you had to move on now. if you wanted your friend group to stay normal and go back to the way it was, the looming existence of your feelings for the world renowned fighter had to die. you could tough it through that, you could come back and say ‘i thought it over and don’t have feelings for you anymore toji so don’t worry about acting weird with me. we’re casual friends like we’ve always been.’

a particular rattle of the train had you planting your feet on the floor purposefully and waiting for it to fully stop before you got up. you were five minutes from your apartment now, the walk you started now would pass by in a flash and you’d get to wallow in your misery soon.

ordering takeout sounded nice and so did watching your favorite show, especially after a warm shower, it had been quite chilly tonight. 

you had no room to really think about your predisposition in regards to toji zenin the next day, having to attend work then go to a work party afterwards at some high end restaurant/bar located at the top floor of a skyscraper overlooking tokyo. at work, you had to host various meetings and delegate new responsibilities you planned out the day before to your peers. it was all very hectic since it was all a completely new project. you had barely looked at your phone and even if you did, there wouldn’t be much to fret over, your friends had busy lives too. and right after, you had to head straight home and get ready for the party later that evening. 

you were sporting a tight black dress with light red flowers embellished across it later that night while you drank champagne and conversed with your coworkers. it had been a decent night so far and you had photos taken of you along with your peers, they’d probably be posted on the company website or social media. 

there had been some interesting work tea to listen in on too, your rival company was involved in it too and you were smushed against your coworkers in a red leather lined booth with dim lighting to listen in on all of it. it was more than worthy of your time by the end of it, you deemed. you would have to tell shoko and sukuna about it whenever you got the chance next time. yes, sukuna liked tea, he was an ass who loved hearing about ass things happening. 

the craving for a new glass of champagne sent you to the bar the moment the story ended, so you sat up on one of the chairs lining it while you waited for the bartender to get to you. you could see your ceo already getting shit-faced from where you were and it was funny, she always did that and always managed to get embarrassed the next time everyone saw her in the office. 

“are you part of that office party?”

a large and handsome figure suddenly appeared before you, blocking the view of your boss. he was wearing a rather expensive looking black suit with a silky blue dress shirt under, all of which couldn’t hide the obvious hard and sturdy muscles under them due to the complimentary tailoring. when you took in his face, you had to hold back the urge to widen your eyes. he was excessively good looking, with sharp and devilish features sketched across his face, intertwining hand in hand with his semi-long brown wavy hair pushed back and away from his face, save for a singular pretty strand falling near his brow and down his cheek. and that scar near his eye, it seemed so familiar…

you had to blink yourself back into reality when you realized you were taking a bit too long to answer his question. 

“yes,” you finally responded, trying your best to remain neutral and politely smile at him

he leaned against the open spot of the bar table between your seat and the empty one behind him, one hand in his pocket as he smiled down at you, “you’re very beautiful.”

your spit got caught in your throat at the blatant admission, this time unable to hide the way your head reeled back a little and started sporting a rising heat on your cheeks in slight shock, “oh–i–thank you.”

his smile grew wider at your flustered state and he reached a hand out for you to shake, “aizen sosuke.”

so at to remain polite, you shook his hand and repeated your name back to him in return for his, but in reality your head was falling in on itself

him.

fuck.

that’s aizen sosuke, the other world renowned mma fighter that you were very aware of due to his competitive nature and rivalry with toji. as far as you were aware, toji absolutely hated him, and you were sure aizen did too. anytime the rivalry came up into the conversation you saw toji’s eyes darken and his posture straighten in seething hate for the man. if satoru felt like getting on his nerves, as he did with everyone, he always knew to mention the tall brunette to get a visceral reaction out of him. it was bad. wait–

they have a fight tomorrow.

oh god, this was all types of fucked up. you've been pining after toji this whole year and he just found out yesterday and now you're talking to his rival who's very obviously flirting with you.

...but he was aizen sosuke, aside from that, and he just called you beautiful.

“is there any particular celebration happening?” he tilted his head to the side a little in curiosity 

“no, not this time,” you breathed, trying to shake the nerves off, “my boss just likes to treat us frequently and…well herself.”

“is that the only occasion where you get treated as of late?”

suave

and you can’t help the small knowing smile starting to creep up your lips, “as of late, yes, although she mostly does it in drinks.”

“dinner isn’t often?” he leans a little closer, his lips quirking up a little

“no,” you shake your head, aware of the way your eyes are smiling back at him too.

“allow me to treat you then,” he says confidently, watching as the bartender slides you your champagne

“In exchange for…?” you quirk a brow up at him as you take a sip

“what are you willing to give?” he bites back with a canine smile, still looming over you and infringing himself a little into your space even.

“nothing.” you snark back smoothly, pressing a finger into the middle expanse of his chest. he’s really sturdy, you note before continuing, “dinner with me should be a prize enough.”

he laughs at your response handsomely, reeling away from your space in accordance with the finger of yours pushing him away, “i’ll pay for everything. hell, send me the receipt for your outfit if you feel like it. i’m sure some sort of gratitude will overcome you.”

“ravenous,” you tut your glass in his direction, “i’ll politely decline then mr sosuke.”

“you haven’t even allowed yourself to grace over the thought of spending a night in my sheets,” he’s leaned down to speak so sensually next to your ear, “if your line of work is a stress, i can make you forget all about it.”

“i’ve allowed myself to grace it,” you speak back lowly, matching his game, “and i can only see you adding onto my stress by the end of it.”

“you’re oddly confident about that,” he smiles deviously, turning his head so that you’re face to face with him, “i aim to please, if any.”

“to please?” you question in haughty disbelief, squinting your eyes playfully at him

“to please,” he’s still smiling, eyes fleeting to your lips for a second, “i could relay the details if you’d like.”

“that’s unecessary,” you laugh at his boldness, turning your head away from his, “but it’s not something i’m interested in. im only looking for stability right now.”

“how unfortunate for the both of us tonight then,” he retreats back into his space before reaching into his pocket and taking out his phone, then splaying it out in his hand for you to take, “at least leave me your number. i can be capable of stability for the right woman.”

you feel your phone buzzing erratically that night, when you’ve washed away the night’s events and lay comfortably in your bed with a glass of water cradled to you. upon first looking at your messages, you were greeted by a paparazzi picture of you, courtesy screenshot from gojo, and aizen speaking at the bar. it was one of you smiling and looking up and him while he was leaning down, face inches away from yours as he returned your toothy grin.

satoru img_736 ?????? is that aizen sosuke?! dude are you fucking him rn

sukuna  take one of his trophy belts when you come back home

shoko lol he looks hot in blue

suguru  satoru, aren’t you supposed to be on your flight back from dubai right now?

satoru first class has excellent cell service ha and y/n hasn’t answered aizen def has his hands busy rn

shoko it’s only been five minutes since you sent that picture plus she’s at her work party, i think. she probably just met him there

satoru who cares bud looks like he’s ready to pounce 

sukuna heard he likes bdsm shit

satoru send pics of his paddle lol y/n

suguru both of you are despicable

shoko let us know if he has good stamina

suguru the three of you

all those messages had been sent ten minutes ago and you gaped at your friends’ mischief

y/n  I AM NOT WARMING AIZEN SOSUKE’S BED RN!

satoru liar, he’s in your mouth rn isn’t he

y/n  literally shut up toru i’m in my bed. no aizen near

sukuna  sure you are you looked real horned up smiling at him in the pics

y/n LMAO  he was a little funny ok, i couldn’t help laughing

shoko oh he was funny hm

suguru  actually worried a little at that statement wdym he was a little funny

y/n im going to crucify all of you he tried getting me to warm his bed and was very smooth abt it, but i said no gave him my number though :p since he asked for it

satoru was that before or after he told you you have great boobs img_737 could not have been more obvious about it

the stupid texts from your friend had you laughing out loud and setting down your glass of water on your bedside table before you pressed on the microphone button and sent a loud, giggly voice message for emphasis of your previous point.

“I didn’t fuck aizen! and he didn’t need to tell me i have great boobs, i saw him staring at them the entire time.”

sukuna you are not living this down if we see hickeys on you tomorrow

satoru what he said ^^

and there came the realization, 

toji and aizen’s fight was tomorrow

and all of you always showed up to toji’s fights ever since you befriended him

hell, fuck, you hadn’t even remembered he was in this group chat too. fuck fuck fuck. was this good? was this bad? he hadn’t said anything and he never really took too long to answer sometimes. no, this was the night before a fight, he’s probably already knocked out right now considering the late hour. but still, what of when he woke up to the messages tomorrow? would this help ease the knowledge of your being into him? oh she’s already flirting with some guy she’s not into me as much as a i thought so i dont feel as awkward around her anymore. but what if he thought you were doing this purposefully to get a reaction out of him and that you were so obsessed with him, you did it for that sole reason. you didn’t even want to come to the fight anymore. could you get out of it somehow? no, stupid satoru knows you’re free tomorrow and that would add more drama to your ‘up and dash’ incident from the bar yesterday night. 

you turned around and flailed on your bed, screaming into your pillow in the process.

regrettably, you show up to toji’s fight the following afternoon, trying your best to suppress the notion that aside from having to be near toji later, that aizen was going to see you too, and that whole ordeal would be something different entirely for you to deal with.

you dressed pretty well, you always did, but you added a little more effort than the usual when picking your outfit for the day. it was ufc fight night worthy and showed a generous amount of skin, the pictures you would upload later that night to instagram would be amazing. 

sukuna snickered when he saw you, pulling you in for a quick friendly hug as he said, “wanted zenin to see that you really didn’t fuck sosuke?”

you gaped at him and held back a smile as you smacked him with your purse, “i will hurt you ‘kuna.”

“try me, idiot,” he bites back with a snarky smile before sinking into one of the cage-side seats toji always managed to get for you guys. you had already said hi to the rest of your friends before getting to him and all felt normal until that dumbass made his dumb comment about your crush on toji. satoru, had of course, without a doubt, inspected you for hickeys and love bites immediately upon your arrival and had given you a suspicious look, as if to say, ‘you got away with it this time.’ he was always ridiculous like that, trying to cling onto random drama, even if he gaslit himself, all for his own fun. 

“i really did not expect to meet him last night at the bar,” you sighed after you sat down, taking in the bustling crowds of people gathering in the arena with him

“fuckin hilarous,” he all but barks evilly in amusement at your predicament before taking a swig of his beer, “paparazzi is gonna have a field day thinking you’re aizen’s girl now that you’re here.”

“WAIT!” 

you immediately sit upright at the realization and turn your body towards sukuna, jaw hung open and eyes wide in panic.

“holy shit. what the fuck.” you start having an existensial crisis and sukuna, the great friend he is starts snickering at your dilemma, finding humor in your panicked expression

“go sit near his side of the arena,” he jeers, “there’s some open seats.”

you run your hands down your face, stressed, “i thought the worst i had to deal with would be aizen seeing me here.”

“still is,” sukuna is still smirking at you evilly, “everything is shit about your day today.”

and then the lights dim and sporadic blue lights start sparkling across the arena

“get ready to say hi to your boyfriends,” sukuna teases with a canine grin before leaning over to see who would do their walkout first.

and it’s toji first.

he’s so beautiful and rugged, wearing skin tight black shorts that highlight every muscle underneath them and his eyes are glowing so pretty against the fluroscents, even if he has a murderous look on them right now. his staff are behind him as he walks through the arena, and looking at them almost distracts you from the way toji holds you in a cutthroat stare the moment he spots you, and only you.

you can hear satoru’s sly voice saying from near you, “nice.”

too scared to look away from toji, you can only speak to your friends without turning to address them, “why is toji giving me a death stare?”

“cause you fucked aizen,” satoru’s teasing lilt jeers

“yeah,” shoko agrees

“i did not fuck aizen,” you bite through gritted teeth as toji walks into the fighting cage, eyes still on you.

“tell that to him,” sukuna snickers

“don’t think about it too much,” suguru tries to comfort

then the lights starts blaring furiously again and aizen’s presence is announced throughout the entire arena. and you were really right about that suit being unable to hide those muscles, because without any clothing over them…they were enormous and mouth-watering.

all of you watch as he, accompanied by his staff too, walks to the cage, handsome smirk planted on his face. 

“would you look at that,” satoru starts, “he doesn’t have your scratch marks all over his back.”

“ha ha,” you sarcastically mutter back when aizen enters the cage and he situates himself in his side, taking in his surroundings, like those sitting in the cage side seats.

like you.

you know he’s spotted you because of the way his eyebrows raise in surprise and the wolfish smile that starts forming on his face the moment you make eye contact. and you know toji’s noticed too because of the way he turns to you too and keeps looking between you and the fighter in front of him.

satoru whistles while sukuna howls, both leaning down to elbow you from either side much to your annoyance

“scratch the paparazzi thinking youre here for aizen being the worst thing capable of happening today,” satoru sighs haughtily, “if toji loses, you’re in for it.”

you spin your head to him, panicked, “what?! is he gonna stop being my friend?!”

satoru shrugs, nonchalant, “don’t know, just keep watching sweetheart.”

so you did and it was unnerving.

when the fight started and toji and aizen started squaring up against each other, you could see aizen start speaking to him. his mouth was moving a little and a smile crept up on it when he jeered his chin in your direction, all of which you saw toji answer back with what looked like single word short answers and a sneer on his face.

“wonder what they’re talking about,” suguru questioned softly

“i have a small idea,” satoru said under his breath before toji threw the first punch and the chaos ensued.

the fight consisted of a lot of hisses and ows coming from everyone, including you, in the arena. toji and aizen were really putting in the work to beat the crap out of each other. ten minutes had passed and toji was already bleeding from his mouth and aizen had blood falling down his nose. both of their bodies were beat too, red splotches blossoming all over them as a reaction to the various kicks and punches both of them sent to each other. 

however it looked like it was reaching its cusp when aizen got toji in a headlock and muttered something while looking at you. 

which must have given toji enough energy to quickly peel himself off and knock his face in a couple of times. and when aizen stood up straight after it to counter, he was bleeding profusely from his mouth and smiled so devilshly at you before wandering into toji’s space again. 

“hot,” shoko commented while gnawing on a toothpick

and that continued, the smiles at you from him, with his questionably hot bleeding mouth while he sported a beating from toji or gave it to him. but it started dying down when toji actually started knocking him in so close to his own victory. and there wasn’t much aizen could do until toji pinned him down and forced him into submission,

all while aizen stared at you and even had the gall to wink while his loss was announced

satoru whistled again, “the balls on this guy. surprised you aren’t soaked right now.”

people were starting to filter out when the winner and loser were officially announced and were beginning to get escorted back to their locker rooms.

“come on,” sukuna muttered as he drank the last of his beer and got up with the rest of you to go to toji’s room.

when all of you are rushed into toji’s locker room, you somehow wound up standing next to him, where he’s seated on a bench and wiping the blood off his face with a hand towel.

“congrats,” you mumble, along with the others

“what’d he say to you during the fight,” leered satoru, both of his hands in his pockets and his shades over his eyes again now that he doesn’t have to watch the fight.

“none of your business,” muttered toji after wiping his face again, “where’s my fucking water?”

“here sir, here,” one of his goonies said while weaving through the people in the room and nervously handing him a water bottle

“thanks,” he huffs with a small glare before opening the bottle and starting to chug from it

“who do you fight after this,” sukuna asks

toji shrugs and looks towards his manager, who then starts to explain the next sequence of events after this win. and it lasts for thirty minutes before everyone falls quiet and toji gets up abruptly

“alright, get out. ‘m gonna change,” he all but demands for everyone to leave ominously

and you listen to his words, letting the half closest to the door start to filter out before you make to move your feet and suddenly toji’s holding onto your arm.

“where do you think you’re going?” he huffs when the last person leaves the room and the door clicks shut

you feel like a deer caught in headlights and feel yourself start to grow nervous, “outside…to let you change?”

“you gonna fuck him?”

and you gaslight yourself into pretending you don’t know what he’s talking about, “who?”

he deadpans at you with bored and almost annoyed green eyes and you have to look away from him when you murmur, “no…i don’t know. listen, me having a thing for you isn’t that serious and if i entertain aizen it isn’t so you can finally notice me or something, i just–”

“when the fuck did i say i never noticed you before?”

your eyes widen and you didn’t know what to say

“what? you think it’s so easy for me to try and talk to your dumbass too?” he pulls you closer by the arm he’s already holding, scowl etched across his face

“what,” is the only thing you can get out in your nerves

toji glares at you, “when silver spoon said you wish you could talk to me, did it ever cross your smartass that i don’t know how to talk to you either?”

“no,” you let out meekly, struggling to make eye contact with him and feeling your heart rate go up by a million beats per minute

“so,” toji tugs on your arm again, “are you gonna fuck him?”

you look away to a locker near when you mumble, “do you not want me to?”

“no, i fucking don’t.”

“then i won’t.”

“great,” he lets go of you and now centers himself to stand in front of you, quirking a brow up when he asks, “you gonna let me take you out on a date?”

you have to fight the urge to fiddle with your hands as you look back up at him, “when?”

“tonight.”

“shouldn’t you rest after a fight!?” your eyes almost bulge out of their sockets, pupils darting to the blood staining his lips

“not if i don’t feel like it,” he shrugs, before gaining a threatening aura, “or do you wanna bite the bullet and get lunch right now? you won’t have time to get a pretty dress on.”

panicked at his suggestion, you mindlessly put your hands against his chest and plead, “no! tonight is fine, tonight is fine!”

“thought so,” he huffs back at you, corners of his mouth quirking up a little 

and put on a pretty dress you did, a red sultry one that teetered between innocence and sex. it had toji staring you down as you took the unfathombly large bouquet of flowers he brought for you from his arms and set it on your kitchen island.

“where are we going?” you turned to look at him while he drove you to whatever destination he had in mind for tonight, playing with the metal clasp of your handbag

toji had been leaned against the driver side door of his car, with one hand holding onto his chin while the other steered, he seemed oddly pensive.

“allen’s,” he gruffly swallowed before straightening up and putting both of his hands on the steering wheel. you weren’t surprised by the mention of the michelin star restaurant, he could afford it and had the status for it anyways

so you couldn’t help but speak, “are you nervous?”

his entire body tensed visibly and his eyes slightly widened, glancing at you for a half second before looking back at the road and relaxing, “what do you think smartass?”

a smile crept its way onto your face, “well i am too.”

“you gonna run away again?” he side eyed you with a slight gleam of mischief

your face flushed and your mouth gaped, turning to look at the road too now instead of at him, crossing your arms as you huffed, “what else was i supposed to do? not like you had anything to say either, had your mouth open like a fish when i got exposed…”

“least i didn’t run,” he huffed back

“well you didnt try to contact me after,” you sasssed, sensing his growing irritation

“you’re a real pain in my ass,” he glared at you, “you know that right?”

“and you’re not acting like the guy who just won a fight earlier today.”

toji had just parked outside the restaurant and splayed his hands across the steering wheel, trying to control his breathing from what you could tell. 

“i didn’t know what to say, okay negative nancy?” he finally turned to you, green eyes striking under the night sky and neon lights from the restaurant name shining through, “and then when i was going to call your pretty ass the next day, i saw the pictures of fuck face raw dogging you at the bar.”

“he didn’t fuck me,” you whined in complaint as you splayed yourself across the center console of his car and batted your scorned eyes at him, “how many times do i have to tell you guys?”

“well you were real close to,” he smirked at you before something serious fell across his features and his eyes darted to your handbag, “matter a fact, block his number right now.”

your head perked up at the demand and you blinked at him, “i dont have his number.”

toji squinted his eyes at you, “you said you gave him your number in the group chat.”

“yeah but he hasn’t called me or anything, so i never got his.”

the ravenette rolled his eyes, taking his keys out of the ignition and pointing at you with them, “when he does, you better fucking block him.”

“i will,” you nod obediently, watching as he starts to get out of the car

you move to take off your seat belt and he leans back into the vehicle with a warning look, “i’ll unbuckle it, don’t move.”

and he does, closing the door of his side before walking over to you and opening the door to kneel in and take off your seat belt, then giving you a helping hand to get out.

“thank you,” you murmur appreciatively as you watch your step before landing a quick kiss to his cheek. and if it affected him, you wouldn’t know, he said nothing and held onto your arm softly while he guided the both of you to the restaurant entrance.

“you look hot by the way,” he breathed out before opening the door and entering with you, giving you no chance to respond when the hostess immediately greeted the both of you and began to lead you to a table.

it was intimate, the table. it was small and dainty, relatively little space would be between you and the gruff fighter. and both of your seats were at the same corner of the table, making the distance shorter than it would have been sitting across from each other. 

toji instinctively pulled out your chair for you and muttered out a sound of acknowledgement when you thanked him as he sat down. 

“you gonna drink?” he quirked a brow at you, gesturing towards the menu of alcohol planted right in front of the both of you

“a little red wine sounds nice,” you try to say politely, “you?”

“nah,” he responds while raising a hand for a waiter to come by, “i need to drive you home. you like sweet or bitter wine?”

“sweet.”

and so he orders a wine for you to drink right off the bat, saying a thank you as the waiter walks away to get the bottle.

“does your mouth hurt?”

toji hums mindlessly, as if his head had been somewhere else before he perks up again and says, “come again sweetheart?”

the pet name had you a little fluststered in speaking again, feeling your body grow hot as you gestured to his mouth meekly, “your mouth, it was bleeding after the fight, does it still hurt?”

the corners of his mouth start to rise as he encroaches into your space, eyes lusty, “nothing a little kiss won’t make better.” 

your breath hitches and you feel like pushing him away to hide how easily he’s affected you, “you’re shameless.”

toji is inches away from your face now, and he tilts his head in fake hurt, “i took those punches from the lowlife trying to steal my girl away, doesn’t that mean i deserve a reward?”

you try to keep your face serious as you deadpan, willing your need to laugh away as best you can, “your girl?”

“my girl,” toji grins sleazily 

you’re about to bite back when the waiter comes back with the bottle of wine toji ordered for you and the menus for tonight’s dinner. toji takes the bottle from the waiter and insists on serving you your glass himself while you begin to look at the menu. choosing a meal was difficult with all the delicious options available, every description making your mouth water, you wanted everything. when you complained to toji about not knowing what to get because of all the options, he brushed you off while still reading his menu.

“get whatever you want, we can come again and again until you try everything.”

well that’s one way to make you horny

so you settled for these sauteed calamari rings with a savory sounding sauce while toji got a steak under the pretense that ‘i need to stock up on protein after fights.’

while the both of you eat, good conversation comes up and the previous tense awkwardness of the both of you goes away.

“i haven’t dated anyone since my sophomore year of college,” you say while taking a sip of wine to wash down a bite of calamari

toji quirks up a brow in disbelief at your statement while he takes a sip of his water, a scowl almost, as if he’s offended for you, “what about that emo lookin kid—“

you tilt your head in confusion, not being able to pinpoint who he’s talking about, “emo?”

toji rolls his eyes, snapping his fingers at himself, “that kid, can’t even remember his name, with the blue hair, you know–“

“grimmjow?!” you gape, eyebrows knit

“yea that fucker,” toji nods before he takes a bite of his steak

“I never even got to have a thing with grimmjow,” you deadpan, swiveling the glass of wine in your hand, “we kissed like once and then he told me he wasn’t ready for anything the next day.”

“silver spoon made it seem like you guys fucked.”

you sigh in agonizing pain that your white haired freak best friend loves to say you fuck frequently, “satoru says that because he feels my dry spell more than me. horny ass. he wishes i could get laid.”

“what,” toji snickers, “haven’t fucked in a year or something?”

this was going to be a pain

“three years,” you clarify, staring at him with bored eyes because you know you’re going to get a reaction because of this, “with my ex was the last time. and i lost it to him.”

toji eyebrows immediately raise and he looks at you like you’re insane, “you’re lying.”

“don’t you think id rather say i just got laid two weeks ago or something?” you quizically ask him

“well yeah,” he scoffs, “but i'd rather you not at that point.”

you knowingly squint your eyes at him, jabbing a fork of calamari, “why’s that?”

and you laugh when toji drops his napkin back onto his lap very done with you and blankly stares you down.

“how long have you liked me anyway,” you continue, hoping and praying on the small chance that toji pined for you as much you did for him so that you didn’t feel as pathetic

he stays quiet for a bit, as if he didn’t hear you, and you feel embarrassed that you’re about to repeat himself until he looks up from his meal and says, “ever since business boy posted a picture of you before i got the chance to meet all of you.”

hoping and praying did you well

you had to physically stop yourself from giggling like a schoolgirl by holding your hands in fists under the table, “and..why did you never make a move?”

“i thought you had a crush on sukuna for a good four months,” he shrugged and if you were seeing right, there was a pink hue dusting the tips of his ears, “after i figured out you didn’t, i pussied out because i didn’t wanna make you uncomfortable.”

then his eyes fixated on you, “what about you huh?”

you felt yourself growing small in your seat, beginning to play with the ends of your dress, “well, when we met and you told lent me your jacket because my cardigan was thin…”

“both of us have been idiots this entire year huh,” toji joked, laughing at himself and you

“yeah,” you meekly agreed, taking a woeful gulp of wine until you came to a realization, “wait, is that why sukuna thought you didn’t like him for the first few months of knowing him?!”

“i have no idea what you’re talking about,” the fighter grunted, looking to the side as he drank another gulp of water

by the time your date with toji ended you were as happy as could be, having felt fulfilled that yes you were on a date with your long time crush, but that you were also very compatible and had amazing chemistry. you kissed briefly, outside the restaurant when your heel got caught on a pebble and he held you upright so as to stop you from falling. you pulled him in for it to thank him and he held onto your waist so fucking well, the fact that his hand was almost the same size as your back was dizzying. 

he had asked for another date the following afternoon for brunch with him and you couldn’t deny, wanting to spend more time with him. you were telling satoru this on the phone before he said…

“so when are you guys getting it on?”

if you could, you’d throw something at him through the phone right now.

“you are such a pervert!”

“i am not,” satoru defends, “okay maybe a little, ha. but in all honesty when are you two going to rip off the bandaid? it’s not like you’re strangers and you have to do that awkward period of oh im respecting your space crap. oh my god, does he know you’ve never gotten head?”

your cheeks flush hot, “no.”

“this is hilarious,” satoru jeers, “try to last longer than two seconds when he eats it.”

you sprawl across your bed and almost scream, “stop, because im going to be really embarrassed if that happens!”

“i think it’d be a miracle if it didn’t happen,” you can hear the millionaire open another candy wrapper before stuffing the sweet into his mouth, “so when are you sealing the deal?”

“when even is the appropriate time?” you gaze at your ceiling, feeling hot all over your body and embarrassed that you’re talking to your friend about having sex with one of your other friends

“personally, i think he would’ve done it by tonight already.”

“you think?”

“he looks at your boobs when you aren’t looking.”

“what?! why didnt you tell me this before?” you sit upright in your bed

“him wanting to fuck you is obvious, i just didn’t know if he liked you, so i kept it to myself.”

“unfair,” you huff, falling back into your comforter, staring at the ceiling in silence until you felt your phone beginning to vibrate

pending call - toji

“toru, ill catch up with you some other time, toji’s calling me,” you usher out and immediately accept the incoming call before the snow haired devil can say something cheesy.

“hi,” you breathe out

“hey,” toji’s gruff voice responds through the small speaker, “how are you feelin?”

“about the food or you?” you tease

“both.”

“wish i could’ve eaten some of that peach cobbler the couple next to us ordered,” you fluff up a pillow behind you, wondering if you should go forward with a thought before you think fuck it, and say, “wish i could’ve kissed you more.”

“i can get you both angel.”

“what are you doing?”

“just put some patches on my back, ‘s sore,” theres a moment of silence before he quips, “was thinking about you.”

“me too,” you sigh, hoping he can’t hear how dreamy you unintentionally sounded

“what about me?” you can hear the smirk in his voice

and you indulge him a little, just to fuck with him, “how big your hands are.”

“you like ‘em?”

“mhm, they looked nice with the bruises on them too.”

“ ‘s that why you kept holding onto them?”

“maybe,” you watch as you kick your feet up in the air, finding something to exert your energy 

“yours are soft,” he breathes, “i like it.”

“you know what else is soft?”

“what?” you can hear his energy shift

“my hair, i use really good conditioner and product.”

“fuckin tease.”

you turned around in your bed to hold your head in one of your hands, “what ever do you mean by that toji?”

“you always pull shit like this and you know it. you made me think i forgot your birthday last week.”

you laugh at his offense, noting that you did get a good scare out of him last week when you pretended he said your birthday wrong, “okay that was a one time thing though.”

“and then you told me the chinese restaurant i sent you to had shitty lomein.”

he had recommened the restaurant to you last month based on the premise that the lomein was good as hell and that you’d like it. you didn’t think he’d fall for it, but you told him it was crap just to fuck with him and he couldn’t function for a minute. 

“okay okay maybe i do pull shit like that every once in a while,” you digress

“every once in a while…” the scowl on toji’s face is quite loud when he responds

“every once in a while,” you punctuate with a sing songy voice

after your brunch date with toji the following day, he took you vase shopping because when he showed up at your place to pick you up he had another very large bouquet of flowers in his hands for you. and unfortunately, you couldn’t even fit all the flowers from the night before into the three vases you had. 

he took you to a high end home furniture store that you were pretty sure millionaires only shopped in, your theory being proven when a rug you passed by was the exact same one satoru kept in his apartment and shamelessly replaced when shoko got red wine on it. 

“woah,” you say when you get to the vase section, “this is way different than the ones at ikea.”

“see anything you like?” toji moves to stand next to you while you take in the vast number of beautiful vases in front of you

and at first you think you have nothing to say, unable to pick from all the beauties in splayed out for you, until your eyes spot a pretty almost seashell shaped vase, with defining ridges, colored gold, it was beautiful and you wouldn’t mind a number of those decorating your apartment. 

“i like this one,” you murmur as you walk up to it, noticing the slight iridescent shimmers on it

you can see toji raise his hand and make some sort of mannerism towards someone, you assume a worker, out of the corner of your eye after you say that. 

which led to the predicament of accompanying toji into your apartment numerous times as he carried the multiple boxes carrying the same vase into your apartment. you weren’t allowed to, he had demanded. he even eyed you threatningly when you made to pick up your own box to take with him. 

by the time he had brought in the last box you were very antsy, trying to find something to do in return for him like offer a water or food, or what fucking ever, just anything in exchange for his buying you multiple luxury vases and carrying them into your apartment. 

“i did that shit because i like you and i think you deserve it,” toji huffed, eyeing you pointedly while he accepted the glass of water you had offered him, “don’t get all weird.”

“okay…” you nervously looked to the side as you traced invisible lines across your kitchen island, “at least sit for a while before we have to unpack them and put the flowers in them. please?”

the tall and buff fighter let your small and nimble hands drag him to your couch by the arm and then guide him to sit on it, with you following after.

“I was watching grey’s anatomy before you came over,” you start, looking at him earnestly, “do you wanna watch some with me?”

toji set the glass of water on your coffee table then splayed his arm behind you on the couch and nodded, “go for it.”

“okay,” you smiled lightly then, much to his obvious surprise, crawled over him and reached for the remote next to him, tucked into the corner of the couch just a little, then went back to your original spot next to him.

your eyes were focused on opening netflix when he spoke, “is that the uh–the show with the doctors and crap?”

you pressed play when you set the remote off to the side and leaned more into his space, “yeah! it’s a little cheesy, but it’s fun to watch, at least before a certain season. after that it just goes downhill.”

“alright,” the ravenette said, leaning closer to your space too

“glow in the dark,” toji exhales a light laugh at the mention of glow in the dark condoms

“ever tried those?” you look up at him from where you’re tucked underneath his arm, hand splayed across his chest and abdomen area

“never knew they were a thing,” he smirks, “you?”

“i don’t even know what head’s like,” you roll your eyes, “as if i would’ve gotten to the exploration stage of fucking.”

you can see toji visibly stiffen at your comment

“what?”

“there’s no way in hell that fucker didn’t eat you out,” he’s sat up straighter now, eyes pining you under his gaze

“well there is a way in hell,” you move your hands as if to gesture ‘it is what it is’, “he didn’t like the taste.”

“what, he got a wonder dick or something?” he looked annoyed, “that do the job?”

“i did not ever orgasm, so no,” you laugh, finding it funny how pissed he’s getting on your part, “why are you so pissy for me zenin?”

he gives you one glance before looking forward at the tv to avoid your gaze, sighing a little, “it’s stupid, is all.”

“me not getting head?” you’re still staring at him even though he’s watching george and alex bicker on the tv

“yeah,” he nods

and satoru’s words play through your mind again, ‘personally, i think he would’ve done it by tonight already.’

but you shake the thought away before you start something stupid and reassume your cuddling position next to toji, watching as it gets revealed that the neurosurgeon lover has a wife already. the previous piece of information making toji uncharacteristically scrunch his nose and look as if he wants to spit at the screen. 

“what,” he looks at you, eyes waiting in earnest for the next episode, “that the end? start the next one.”

“are you sure,” you giggle at his sudden interest in the soap opera.

toji sinks into his spot on the couch, bringing you closer to him with a hand on the skin just above your knee, “yeah, play it.”

while you take the remote to start the new season, you laugh, then place it down before leaning up and placing a chaste kiss on the fighter’s lips, “you’re cute.”

he gives you a bored look, obvious in expressing that cute is not something he wants to be described as, but you can also feel the grip he has on you twitch for a second. 

“what?” you smile, “can i not call you cute?”

“can’t you find something better?” he says, trying not to roll his eyes

“not when you’re acting cute,” you sit up a little and grab his face to place a kiss on his forehead, then his nose, which scrunches up cutely at the action. you can see toji try to chase your lips just the slightest when he sees your mouth fall away from his nose and wander so close to his mouth. you use the observation to tease him, making it look as if the next destination was his lips until you go further down and land a peck on his chin. 

toji’s had enough of it, it seems, when he swoops a hand under your jaw and near your neck and guides you to his own mouth. he's soft about it, simply trying to taste your lips and memorize the feeling of your lips on his, until–you dont know who–one of you takes a sensual turn and makes it much more intense than need be. although unable to find the culprit of before, you can say that toji’s first in sliding his tongue into your mouth moments after. he does it slowly, flicking the muscle to tease at your own before retreating, as if waiting for yours to give the same response and you do, shyly dipping yours in to lick across his tongue. almost like he lured you in, he intertwines his muscle with yours upon the interaction and you can’t help the small high pitched moan that escapes you. 

on some sort of instinct, toji uses the hand on your knee to hook it under his grasp and guide you to his lap, planting you thigh to thigh on top of him. your hands, having forgotten what to do in these situations, awkwardly place themselves on his chest, shakily feeling the hardness of his chest underneath them. he grabs onto one of them, caressing the skin of it, while his other hand finds comfort in your waist. 

a second moan makes it way out of your throat and toji’s hips buckle up subconsciously, which makes you gasp into his searing kisses. the action has you noting that he’s hard underneath you and the exact size of him is a curiosity to you, the thought making you reach a hand down to hold him. 

he’s big, an ‘it’s going to hurt’ kind of big. 

“don’t…” he grunts out, letting go of the hand holding onto his chest and reaching down to take off the one holding his length, “touch unless you’re ready.”

“i’m ready,” you shift your hips atop of him and being forced to look at him when he pulls away from the kiss, lips pink and splotched and his pupils blown out.

“I can wait,” he says, trying to control his breathing, the expanse of his chest rising and falling so controlled even though the look in his eyes says otherwise, “don’t worry about me, if that’s it.”

“well I can’t,” you tug at one of the buttons of his shirt for emphasis, then guide one of his hands underneath your skin and near your inner thighs, “feel me.”

slowly and hesitantly, toji moves his hand onto your panties and runs a finger across the excessively damp wet spot of them.

“fuckin tease,” he groans at the touch, sliding his finger across again and again, earning mewl after mewl from you

“do you want me?” you shyly pant as you hold onto his free arm, fighting the need to put your head in his shoulders

“yeah, i fucking want you,” toji growls as he pushes you onto his chest by a hand on your back

he maintains eye contact with you when his hand pushes your panties out of the way and immediately slips a finger into your heat. the pressure of his gaze turns feral when your eyebrows knit and a loud moan leaves your lips.

for some reason, trying to excuse the loud reactions he’s about to get from you, you heave, worried, “i—i haven’t done this in a long time and–oh mmmm–i won’t be able to help myself.”

“think i care?” he huffs, concentrating on you when he slips a second finger inside and curls them both curiously to find your spot, which he does, smirking a little when your hold on him grows tighter and your hips wiggle at the pleasure, “scream all you want princess.”

he starts jutting in his fingers quickly in and out of you after the words leave his mouth, and the stretch is so good, so unlike your small hands that haven’t been able to do crap for years, that you start squealing and hug toji in by the back of his neck and shoulders.

“there you go, there you go baby,” he coos, smiling a little at the cute sounds you’re making and relishing in the squelch of your pussy while his fingers abuse it. 

“wait–wait–” you heave, beginning to push him away, even though the advance is useless due to his iron grip and try to explain an embarrassing admission so as to warn him, “i feel like im gonna–”

he gives you no chance to finish your sentence when he punches in a third finger and makes you nearly scream.

“what?” he breathes, lusty eyes boring into your own, “you gonna cum?”

“no–”you shake your head, trying your best to still relay your message even though you can feel your orgasm taking its final steps near, “well yeah–but–but–”

your stomach starts dropping and toji picks up his pace so brashly that you release almost instantaneously all over him. your legs twitch uncontrollably and you bury your face into his neck while squealing through the feeling.

“shit.” he utters, still fingering you through it, “fuck, fuck.”

“i squirt,” you almost cry, embarrassed and shaken up by your orgasm, unable to look at him, “i’m sorry, i tried to tell–”

“shut up,” toji spanks your pussy and doesn’t care when you yelp as he throws you with your back on the couch and starts to tug your panties off, “you’re gonna do it again.”

submitting to him, you shimmy out of your dress nervously while he hastily undoes the buttons of his dress shirt. the burly fighter drags you, so your legs dangle off the couch before he kneels down and places his hands underneath your thighs to spread you out for him

“look at me when i eat you,” toji pinches your clit to get your full attention on his face, “don’t close your eyes or look at the ceiling, none of that shit. got that?”

you nod your head impishly, hesitantly putting a hand on your stomach, itching to hold onto his face or his hair. 

his eyes drift to your sex and you can see a hint of irritation paint itself across his features when he mutters under his breath, “didn’t like the taste my ass.”

within milliseconds, toji saves no mercy and starts to eat you out like a man starved. his mouth is hot and wet, and you don’t know where the mess is coming from, his lips or yours. the man spits onto your pussy and so sloppily makes out with your sticky heat, interchanging between that and sucking so harsly against your clit. 

your legs are twitching so wildly and the only thing keeping you from scrambling away is toji’s hands that are now wrapped around your thighs to keep you pressed against him. 

you’re basically screaming now, in utter bliss from the heavenly feeling, unable to speak. 

his eyes keep looking up to bore into yours all while he aggressively kisses your pussy. it has your breath picking up rapidly and goosebumps rising all across your skin. his tongue laps across your lips so foreign yet so deliciously that you can’t help the increasing reach of your orgasm.

“I'm close!” you squeal after a particular suck of your clit, thinking that he needs to heed to the warning because you’re so sure you’re about to squirt on his face

all toji does in response is growl and let go of one of your thighs to start fingering you with two digits rapidly.

he stares you down while you struggle to keep the eye contact, your whole body beginning to twitch uncontrollably and your vision starting to see white until the invisible cord snaps and you feel an immense relief wash over you–and him.

the juices seeping from you seem to spur him on and he doesn’t move in any sort of way to avoid them, instead choosing to lap at them and drink it in all while making growls and groans of satisfaction. 

he’s still going at it when you come to, and you start shuffling away–well try to–from him, yelping, “it’s sensitive toji!”

he seemingly listens to you after a few seconds, running his tongue flat against your folds before he lifts his face from you. the entire lower half of his face is covered in your juices and his spit and he looks outright animalistic as he looks back at you. 

he gets up and stalks towards you until he’s on top of your body and dives down to kiss you aggressively, making you taste yourself in the process. it’s so erotic, it has your pussy fluttering all over again. 

“fuck,” he groans deeply into your mouth, “you don’t have any condoms right doll?”

you shake your head a little, but you wrap your arms around his shoulders and offer something else, “i’m on the pill…so i don’t really mind…”

you can feel his breath hitch and you’re quick to add, “but! if you’re not comfortable without one–”

“you fine with me blowing a load in you?” he mutters and seizes the chance to nip at your bottom lip

“i wanna feel it,” you admit, glad he’s still kissing you so he doesn’t see the flustered look on your face.

“dirty fucking angel,” he says heavily against your mouth before he gets up to undo his belt buckle and push both his pants and briefs in one motion.

he doesn’t even really spring up free like you expected him to. his dick is so hung that well, it hangs. the size looks bigger than what you predicted already when you touched it earlier. your ex, the only person you’ve had sex with, was the stark opposite of this, easy to fiddle with and well below average. the difference of having toji’s thick length right in front of you now had you clenching around nothing. 

“you like it?” toji smirks at you while he goes up to you again and moves you so that you’re completely laying across the couch before he climbs up on top of you between your legs.

“mhm,” you nod, looking down and hoping his tip can at least graze your folds while it bobs down near your inner thigh and that’s when you get an idea.

“can we–” you almost hesitate, “can we do a mating press?”

“was planning on it,” he says gruffly when he leans forward and pins your legs next to your head. 

you giggle at the words and he smiles down at you, a moment of innocence before the both of you look down and he’s using one hand to guide his tip into you.

the pop of his tip inside of you is overwhelming. you feel like you’re going to push him out in a single clench with how girthy he is. and you think the previous two, very wet, orgasms are what lets him slide into you, even though it stings. 

“shit’s fucking tight,” toji groans, both hands back to your legs while he and you watch him pull out nearly all the way and sink back in.

“ ‘s so big,” you huff, feeling like he’s outright in your stomach, “feel so full.”

“bet you do,” he sounds so serious when he says it, still entranced when he starts to pound in and out of you at an average pace that, although it’s not fast, still has you starting to feel tears brim near your waterline

the man above you starts groaning in sync with your moans and whines, shuddering a little everytime you clench and suck him in

“beautiful,” toji groans under his breath and you can feel his pace start to pick up a bit, “getting fucked on a huge cock, little princess slut. tiny fucking hole’s begging for help.”

the mean words mixed with his praise has you feeling epically embarrassed yet turned on all at the same time and all you can do is moan in response 

“you like getting called a slut?” he presses himself against you, almost chest to chest, smirking evilly while he raggedly breathes, “or princess? or you like me talking about splitting your pussy open?”

“all…of it,” you gasp through two punctual thrusts of his, he’s hit your cervix multiple times but the pleasure is so overwhelming, you’re starting to enjoy it

toji snickers a little, opening your legs a bit further to expose more of your torso, your tits being part of it and his intention, you realize when he goes down to pop one of your nipples into his mouth. he swirls the bud around his mouth and bites at it with his teeth while he starts to jackhammer into you, making sure each thrust is deep.

his balls start making a pap–pap sound everytime he thrusts back in, accompanying the wet squelch of toji dragging himself inside of you repeatedly.

it’s rough and hard, but more intimate than anything considering the few words being exchanged. the both of you are more concentrated on each other’s presence and reactions because after toji comes back up from your tits, he finds your lips and starts to makeout with you languidly. 

the grip on your thighs grows bruising when you mix tongue into the kissing, coaxing him to do the same too. 

“feel so fucking good,” he hisses when you clench around him uncontrollably, a sign of your incoming orgasm, “pussy’s close isn’t it”

you nod instead of speaking, concentrating on the delicious drag of his veins against your walls and the prodding of his tip at your g-spot

toji leans close to your ear, voice hard and lusty as he starts to mutter sweet and dirty nothings, “such a pretty girl, taking this cock so good.”

he then bites your ear softly, “you gonna milk my cock like a good girl? squeeze my load all out?”

shivering, you nod again and make a whimper in response 

“squirt all over me angel, i know you want to,” toji starts plummeting a bit harder into your sweet spot, finding it again, the action has you looking down at where you’re both connected unable to fathom how large he is and just how he’s making it all fit inside, “look at me.”

one of his hands is gently under your chin now, guiding you to look at him since your eyes had strayed from his own. he’s breathing heavy now and his irises are almost completely gone considering the blown out size of his pupils. 

“cum with me sweetheart,” the hand from your chin snakes its way down to your clit so as to start rubbing harsh circles for you, and you just know you’re about to make a bigger mess than before, “wrap that pretty pussy around me. milk the shit out of this dick. cum’s all yours baby.”

“ ‘s too much,” you whine, breathing ragged, “i don’t think–oh my god!”

you feel the pleasure wash over your entire body and come out all over toji’s lower abdomen accompannied by the profuse hard flutters of your pussy on his cock. you release a combination between a whine and a cry, feeling completely wrecked by the sensation.

toji follows you the moment your release gets all over him, his hips stiling and jerking into you roughly, this time giving hard kisses to your cervix instead of the fleeting small pecks from earlier. his cum feels immense, its warmth you can feel pooling inside you as toji sputters it into you.

“shit! fuck!” he groans, watching himself push it all into you before looking back up and taking you into a passionate kiss

“atta girl,” he utters after swiping his tongue across your teeth, one of his hands coming up to tentatively hold one of your breasts, “that feel good?”

tired, you weakly nod and sigh a weak, “mhm”

he lets go of the one hand holding your thigh up and moves both of your legs so that they wrap around his waist. he hasn’t pulled out yet.

“gonna buy you a new couch,” his lips twitch a little as he looks at the surrounding area near the both of you, “shit’s soaked.”

“toji!” you whine, embarrased, and pull him into you so you can hide your face.

toji doesn’t let you, instead pulling away so he can get a good look at you and grin, “you got spare sheets?”

“yeah?” you furrow your eyebrows, “but what does that have to do with the couch?”

“it doesnt. I’m fucking you on your bed later,” he shifts both of your bodies so that you can sit on top of him now just as he shifts the conversation back to what it was, “we’ll go shopping for the couch tomorrow. make it celebratory gift.”

“for the first time we fucked?”

“nah,” he lands a teasing kiss on your nose, “for your first time.”

you roll your eyes at him, “just because its been three years–”

“don’t care, doesn’t count if you never came with shrimp dick.”

a fit of giggles escapes you as you press yourself up against him for physical support, “yeah okay, it’s my first time gift.” 

then your eyes stray to his very wet clothes on the floor next to yours, “sorry i got your clothes dirty though. I don’t think i have anything for you to wear either.”

toji puts both of his thumbs at the corner of your mouth to make your pout disappear, he snickers at himself for it, “i’ll call my assistant to drop off some clothes here.” 

“how long will that take?”

“long as our shower,” toji huffs as he lifts the both of you up and starts walking to your restroom.

“and how long will that take?” you laugh, wiggling your eyebrows at him and clinging onto his shoulders.

“three more orgasms,” he comments, opening the door and leading the both of you to a very steamy shower. 

“you haven’t even made the call yet!”

“shut up.”

[23:11] meeting fushiguro toji

warnings infidelity

other timestamps

nothing could ever piss you off more than the sight before your eyes.

"y/n, wait i can expla-"

"eat shit, you asshole."

all of your friends had warned you this guy was bad news, yet you stayed with him anyways. for three years. he had treated you so nicely the first year and a half, but then it just began to die down, and texts were half assed, conversations were short-lived, and even the littlest things like kisses felt so lifeless.

you decided to investigate why he was so distant for the past few months, since your fourth year anniversary was coming up, until you'd caught him with an old family friend who he'd sworn to you he would never interact with, since she was so obsessed with him. on several occasions she'd tried breaking the both of you up, causing so many bits and pieces to be put back together to result in your dull state of a relationship.

leaving the premises, you wandered around aimlessly until you'd found yourself at a café you'd planned to go to with him. just the thought of his existence gutted you, and everything you'd walked through constantly reminded you of him, and there was no other way to rid of his lingering presence in your mind.

before you knew it, you'd sat there until closing time, despite telling yourself you'd only stay for a few minutes. it was then the barista had told you to leave, and with a quick apology you left and walked pointlessly again, to who knows where.

there was something appealing about that bench you'd notice in that old park, and decided to sit there too, since you remembered he would still be at your place and wouldn't have packed his things yet, being the lazy shit he was.

"penny for your thoughts?" a bulky, raven haired man had smiled at you innocently, contrary to his large build. he'd worn a tight black shirt, too thin for this kind of weather, alongside a pair of drawstring white sweatpants, that also seemed unsuitable for the ruthless weather.

scoffing, you ignored the man who looked rather old to be honest, and mumbled, "my thoughts are worth tenfold of your paycheck."

he laughs, and it's quite relieving to hear, his voice isn't booming, nor is it loud and threatening. "i guess i don't need the penny for your thoughts then, i don't have a job."

you're flustered now, and red at the cheeks. you lift the back of your palm against the apple of your cheek to feel the heat arise on your face before sighing and ignoring him again. "shut up, old man."

"hey, old is a stretch, i just turned forty." he defends himself as he leans against the tree that loomed over the bench you sat upon, and you noticed how his features seemed more attractive under the moonlight.

stop. don't get distracted by some hot old guy

"that's what every old person says." chuckling, he leans closer to take a look at your face, and you can't help but burn an embarrassing shade of crimson.

"you look like a child. i bet you're the same age as my son." he teases.

what an asswipe.

"well that depends now, how old is your son?"

"fifteen...i think." he's pondering to himself, and looks down at his feet and shakes off the thought before looking back at you like he hadn't just revised his entire life story.

"you think your son is fifteen...?" what a strange man, firstly he has no job and second, has no idea on the age of his own offspring.

"yeah, he had to stay with some," he pauses, "relatives." maybe you should stop prying there, it seemed like a personal topic.

"well, to answer your question, i for a fact, am not fifteen. i'm twenty eight." you swung your feet from the bench in a child like manner.

"huh, would've never believed that. you've got quite a youthful glow. i remember my twenties-" he starts to ramble, and you realise this man is quite nostalgic in a sad sense, so you continue to let him speak.

"for someone who's only forty, you speak like you've got three lifetimes worth of experiences to give advice to someone who's pushing thirty." you intervened, and he bellows out another laugh, more heartfelt, and emotional.

"i've told you many things about myself, but not my name." he gestures to the empty seat beside you, charading if he could sit near you.

with a slight nod, you budge up a few centimetres, "so then, what's your name old man?" you huff, and take a breath of fresh air.

"toji fushiguro." confidence is exuding from his aura and you smile again.

"i prefer calling you old man."

a/n: this is more of a friendship than it is romantic relationship

- possibly might probably maybe make a part two

THE SPACE BETWEEN COMFORT AND CHAOS.

✧ PAIRING: wolf!toji fushiguro x f!reader | 4.3k words

✧ SUMMARY: wolfhybrid!toji, hybrid au, flashback centric, grumpy x sunshine, animalistic behavior, mentions of injuries, violence, societal inequality, arguments, hateful speech towards hybrids, dysfunctional families, and a shit ton of angst and anger, lil fluff at the end !!

✧ RHEYA'S NOTE: hiii it's my birthday this weekend so i'm dropping chapter 4 as a quick thank you for all the support !! i love you all so much <33 this one is very toji centric and gives a lot of his past and lore to explain why he is the way he is and what led him to find reader !! there is a lot of inequality in this chapter so keep that in mind as you proceed. as always i would recommend checking out the previous parts before reading this :33

prev. | series masterlist.

the smell of blood makes toji's eyes crack open. it fills his nostrils, heavy and metallic, and it makes his hair stand on end. despite being so used to that scent, it still makes him uneasy, because sometimes he cannot tell whose blood it is.

once his eyes adjust to the dim lighting, he can't fall back asleep, though he knows he still needs rest. a series of cracks echo from his joints as he sits up, pulses of fatigue swimming through his muscles. pushing up from the ground, he casually approaches the metal bars of his cell.

his cage.

his nose twitches, the smell of blood stronger now that he's closer. a loud yawn rips from his throat, eyes catching some guards dragging another hybrid who had fought that day. he watches them throw the unconscious animal into his cell, not sparing another glance as they turn away. the sounds of their boots gets on toji's nerves, but he does not even have enough time to pity the poor creature.

another set of guards approach his cell. he's sure that they might once again tell him off for being too aggressive, or for not following orders, or for another whipping, but he's saved this time because they're just escorting a hybrid.

a familiar hybrid.

"what's wrong?" toji drawls, lips tugging into a casual smirk. "did y'lose?"

the tiger hybrid hisses angrily in return, as though personally offended, and bares his teeth. his striped ears starkly contrast his pinkish hair.

"like hell," sukuna answers proudly.

toji is about to comment on the various bloodied scratches littering sukuna's body, but one of the guards roughly shoves the tiger into his cell.

"get in!"

sukuna turns to pin him with a murderous glare, tone even and chilling. "touch me again and i'll kill you."

the guard scoffs, unbothered, before shutting the barred door behind him. sukuna's anger rises, but he does not say anything else, choosing to stare daggers at them until they've disappeared around the corner. toji understands the feeling. it would be a piece of cake to rip their throats out, especially for predators as vicious as wolves and tigers.

but they can't. one scratch on a human and they'd be put down.

a beat of silence passes. toji is sure the hybrid sitting across the hall is also thinking about the same thing, so used to biting his tongue just to stay alive.

(he remembers the first day sukuna got thrown in, hisses and snapping teeth as he cursed the guards with all sorts of creativity. toji had been underground long enough to see the same spectacle over and over again, and so he hadn't really given a damn at that time. the two passed weeks in silence, purely focused on their own individual fights and then immediately falling asleep once back in their respective cells.

toji was no expert at reading people, but he could tell that the tiger was as stubborn as he was—they refused to acknowledge one another.

and when they were finally pitted against each other, it was a messy fight. toji still remembers the way the crowd had roared at their aggressive attacks, every draw of blood eliciting some sick twisted pleasure within them.

toji had been used to putting in the bare minimum during his fights, finding it relatively easy to win against other predators. but that fight against sukuna was the first time he struggled a little bit.

the tiger will never admit it, but the feeling was definitely mutual.

so after the brawl, when they were both quietly sitting in their cages and hissing at their wounds stubbornly, there was a brief moment of acknowledgement.

"where the hell did you learn how to fight like that?" the tiger had eyed toji warily, thick brows furrowed in a way that made him look extra grumpy.

after that, it seemed that there was a mutual sense of respect between the two of them. they are not friends per se, definitely not. both toji and sukuna know that if it came down to it, they would kill the other in the arena if it meant staying alive.

but there was an understanding that they were both on the same level. and it seemed that those who ran the fights understood that too.

after all, fights between the two of them were always a very popular spectacle.)

even now, sukuna doesn't look at toji, too busy muttering a string of insults aimed at the guard from earlier. toji ignores them, used to it. they remain in that same silence, not uncomfortable, but not really comfortable either.

toji takes a seat, crossing his legs and leaning against the cold bars. he can still hear the sounds of the guards footsteps echoing through the halls, and that just makes him crave freedom—another familiar feeling.

he should be used to it by now. craving what he cannot have.

sukuna seems to know what he's thinking, because he scoffs with a dramatic roll of his eyes. "don't start."

"you don't ever think about running?" toji ponders, dragging his claws across the stone floor. the tiger's ears twitch, sensitive to the sound, and he throws toji a scathing scowl.

"run? where the hell would we go?" the tiger grumbles, crossing his bulky arms. "you know they'll just find us again. it's pointless."

"but it's happened before," toji insists, scratching behind his ear absentmindedly. there have always been whispers floating through the compound, of hybrids with guts of steel that took it upon themselves to make a run for it. though several were caught and devastatingly punished, there were those who they never saw again. the idea that they must be somewhere where light shines and wind blows is strangely comforting.

"yeah rarely," the tiger snorts in return. a quiet hiss of displeasure escapes his lips as he notices the claw marks running up his arm, and he carefully begins licking at his wounds. "most of the time those fools get caught. and then they get punished."

toji shrugs noncommittally, leaning his head against the bars. "worth the risk."

sukuna curiously peers at him from over his injured arm, heavy brows furrowed. "you really think it's that much better up there?"

"anywhere's better than in here." toji says it resolutely, and sukuna, normally so snippy, says nothing to rebuke him.

before the conversation can continue, toji's nostrils fill with a familiar scent—cigarettes, ironed clothes, faint whiskey. he suppresses a roll of his eyes.

"look who it is." he sarcastically cranes his neck, watching as shiu kong approaches his cell with a nonchalant smile.

"you sure do look relaxed for someone who just had me do a shit ton of paperwork." shiu leans against the wall, eyeing toji through the cell. toji does not like that he has to look up to meet his gaze, so he gets to his feet and casually crosses his arms.

"what the fuck did i do?"

"lots of people enjoyed your fight yesterday. with the polar bear?" shiu pulls out a cigarette, and toji's nose crinkles. "you've got an increase in bets, y'know?"

"who cares?" toji mutters, pushing away from the bars to pace around his cell.

it's not like any of the hybrids get that money.

"i do," shiu chuckles, cigarette balanced between his lips. "you're helping me get paid."

"lucky you," toji sarcastically shoots back. shiu snorts in amusement, crossing his arms.

"anyways, i'm thinking this is a good time to host a big fight for you. the timing is good." toji's "manager" (if that's what you can call him) eyes the wolf as he exhales a puff of smoke. toji's eyes narrow in return, a feeling of anticipation and mild irritation crawling up his skin.

"so you two—" shiu nods his head towards the wolf and the grumpy tiger sitting across the hall. "—prepare for a show, alright?"

sukuna curses colorfully, and toji rolls his eyes. "relax. i'm not giddy to fight you either, asshole."

"yeah because you'll lose," the tiger hisses, baring his teeth.

"oh yeah? that's not what happened last time." toji grins wolfishly, watching sukuna's anger rise.

"because you fucking cheated!"

"aw, little cat can't handle a few bites?" toji's amusement becomes more palpable, enjoying the argument—a very common occurrence for the two of them. "that's why dogs are better."

"i'll kill you," sukuna utters ominously, his striped tail puffed and curling in an aggressively defensive display.

"try it," toji smirks back.

"alright easy boys," shiu chuckles, shaking his head in mild exasperation. "save that energy for the actual fight. people eat that shit up."

"and somehow we're the animals," sukuna grumbles, deciding he's done with the conversation as he heads over to the corner of his cell and curls up on the ground.

"well yeah," shiu shrugs, unfazed. "you should be used to that by now."

they are.

"anyway i figured i'd let you know." the older man turns to face toji. "i know most of the fights are pretty easy for you. but since you both are top tier fighters, prepare how you need to."

"it's not like we've never fought before," toji replies dryly, ears twitching. "i know how it goes down."

"well okay." shiu adjusts his suit jacket, shoving his hands into his pockets.

from the corner of his eye, toji can see sukuna listening in, face impassive.

"you two give me a good show, alright?" shiu casually waves over his shoulder, before heading off back in the direction he came.

"whatever," sukuna grunts, turning on his side. toji watches the tiger's tail lazily flick—side to side. "i hate dogs."

toji lets out a dry chuckle. "well i'm not the biggest fan of cats either, asshole."

again, they aren't friends, but the bleakness of their situation makes it easier to tolerate one another.

a week later, they both face off in the area as promised. shiu claps toji on the back before he heads in, a gesture that makes the wolf's skin prickle, but he brushes it off. he could have someone worse be in charge of him, but shiu is a bit easier to get along with than most of the humans down there. though toji isn't naive—the only reason shiu is so casually cheery around him is because toji is his biggest moneymaker.

that's what it all came down to.

sukuna and toji have both fought enough times to know how to play to the crowd's wishes. they bark and snarl at each other like they are truly wild, claws and teeth and blood everywhere because they know that's what gets the humans going.

that's what gets them to open their wallets at least.

sukuna takes the victory this time around, which is not inherently unusual—they both have a fairly even split of victories and losses. they play up their enmity, and everyone goes wild.

even though hybrids are the shackled ones, somehow these humans remind toji of puppets—so easily manipulated.

the two of them stand and rile up the crowd at the end, acting like they truly are nothing but feral animals who know only to growl and snap at each other. as soon as they hear the sounds of money being exchanged and the roar of conversation they are escorted back to their cells.

toji's ears ring with the sounds of groans and cheers, the same familiar words grating his ears.

"i told you sukuna would win this one!"

"yeah but i said toji would draw first blood, so pay up!"

imbeciles. savages. nothing humane about them.

in their cells, both of them do their best to clean up their wounds. but a fight this aggressive usually results in equally rough damage.

"i think you fractured my rib or something," toji grunts, wincing as he sits down. sukuna throws him an unimpressed look through the bars of his cage.

"not my fault you're weak."

toji's middle finger flies up automatically, and sukuna's lips pull up to one side. "ask them for medical if it's that bad."

"yeah right," toji snorts, licking away the blood that has been dripping from the corner of his mouth. "like they'll listen."

it's more of a curse that hybrids have a better pain tolerance than humans. the medics here never take their injuries seriously for that exact reason.

no instead, they are expected to clean up as they can and prepare for the next fight, letting their body heal as well as possible. humans have always been so hypocritical.

they both relax in a welcome silence. toji suddenly realizes how tired he is, jade eyes straining as he attempts to fix himself up. he knows the rules—damaged merchandise is treated as such.

his ears pick up the faint sound of footsteps approaching, and he realizes that it's probably shiu coming over to update them about the earnings of their fights.

but he is entirely surprised.

"wow, you're definitely a sight."

toji's eyes narrow, teeth gritting. his mood plummets, ears straightening and tail going rigid. the sound of that voice makes every bit of hatred in toji's body come bubbling to the surface. he glares over his shoulder, spitting out each word with extreme difficulty. "what the fuck do you want?"

naoya zenin looks down his nose at the wolf, a greasy smile on his face. naobito zenin stands just behind him, arms crossed with a barely visible look of disgust on his face.

toji's cousin conveniently ignores the accusatory question, peering around the cells and hallway with feigned interest. "these conditions are terrible!"

he finally pins toji with his gaze, an evil smile pulling at his lips. "well, that's to be expected for animals."

"what the fuck do you want?!" toji growls, claws digging into the ground. naoya's eyes light up at the anger, knowing full well that those claws can never come anywhere near him.

"temper! temper!" the blonde gasps, tutting at toji like he's nothing more than a child. "haven't you learned how to control yourself by now?"

"let me out of this cell and i'll show you just how much control i have." the wolf's voice is no more than a rumble, dark and ominous because there is nothing in the world that toji hates more than his own family.

naoya shakes his head, feigning a look of disappointment. "so violent. it's a good thing we put you in here. who knows how dangerous you could've been to us."

the words hit their mark, a jab of self-hatred. toji's green eyes flit over to his uncle, sharp and accusatory.

the one who ratted him out to this godforsaken place.

toji knows when normal families have a predator hybrid born into their home, they lie and cheat and hide them away from this life—too desperate to keep their child away from such danger. after all, it's not the child's fault they were born a predator.

but not toji's family. not the zenins, who took one look at him and waited for the second he turned 18 before hauling him off.

nothing but a bunch of rats.

he knows that he was worth a lot of money. a healthy and fit wolf hybrid, broader and stronger than most of his own species. and of course, his family was quick to sell him off, glad to be rid of this curse on their family—the only shame.

toji had grown up knowing he was hated, but he never thought a family could do something so horrible to one of their own. he stopped seeing the best in people after that.

"you brought this on yourself," his uncle states now, emotionless. his opinion on hybrids has not changed one bit, and yet he shamelessly comes to the compound to collect a portion of the winnings that toji earns. "born with tainted blood."

"you're acting like it's my fucking fault, old man," toji spits out, hackles raised. he wants them to leave, because all he feels when looking at them is nausea.

"it's your damn mother's fault. couldn't keep away from my brother. she ruined him," naobito's emotionless voice takes on a tone of hatred, and toji tenses. "filthy dog whore."

toji's reaction is instantaneous. he's at the bars in a second, teeth bared and spewing curses as he makes a mad grab for either of them. he doesn't care—all he wants to do is tear them to shreds. toji can feel his wounds open further, can feel blood dripping over his skin, but all that seems miniscule when they are in front of him.

the cause of every single misfortune he has ever had.

naoya hops out of the way, laughing—it is a mocking, grating laugh that echoes throughout the hall as he watches toji desperately struggle. "see see! this is why you're dangerous!"

naobito shakes his head, as though he's thoroughly disappointed, but he does not say anything else.

"anyways, well done today!" naoya continues, grinning as he crosses his arms. "you earned a lot of money for us."

toji glares at him, dropping his arm and taking a step back. somehow, being further in his cell is much more comforting than being in their line of sight. he keeps his lips tightly shut.

naoya's voice turns taunting as naobito heads off without another word. "such a shame my dear cousin wasn't born normal like the rest of us." he follows his father without a care in the world, knowing how well his words sting. "had to be born an animal freak."

the hallways is empty. toji takes a few steadying breaths, pushing the anger away because he knows that there is truly no point in keeping it. it's not like this anger has done him any good. maybe if he had gotten angry earlier, he would have zenin blood on his hands—the thought gives him a sick sense of satisfaction.

"your family fucking sucks…" sukuna pipes up from across the hall. toji scoffs out a laugh, but it is far from amused. he turns away.

suddenly the blood on his hands makes him feel disgusting—so much more animalistic than human.

"tell me about it," he mutters, back turned. his ears pick up the sounds of sukuna curling up in his corner, and in a few minutes, quiet rumbling snores follow.

toji sighs, approaching his sink and staring at the cracked mirror he's grown used to seeing himself in. he takes in his reflection, disgust rolling in his stomach.

he thinks he'd probably be considered decently attractive if he was a regular old human. but the dark furry ears, the sharp canines, and all the scars ruin him. adding his haggard clothing and feral eyes and all the blood and dirt on him, he can understand why he is considered so untouchable.

an animal in every right.

he turns the sink on. he is briefly reminded of another time, a time where he lived in a family house and slept in a futon that was warmer than anything he's ever slept in. he can remember wearing things other than rags, occasionally a yukata and other times a t-shirt. he can remember eating a home cooked meal and drinking sake and feeling sunlight on his skin.

and yet even in those better times, he has always had to hear the words of his family cursing his existence. cursing his mother's name for seducing his father and ruining their bloodline with her animal blood.

the only dark stain on the pristine zenin family.

toji sighs, scrubbing the blood from under his claws—like clockwork. the water in the sink turns a mocking shade of pink, and as horrible as it is to say, toji is glad the blood is not his.

he wipes his paws across his ragged clothes, and stares at himself in the mirror.

he isn't ashamed to admit it—but he hates what he sees.

naoya's laughter rings in his ears as he shuts his eyes.

"hey toji?"

his eyes snap open. when the haze clears he sees your features come into focus, soft and curious. your scent floods his nose, and a pleasant shiver runs up his skin. there is a quick sense of relief when he realizes that he had been dreaming of a time in the past, and he steels himself, expression indifferent as he sits up. he briefly recognizes the stark contrast between the hardness of the stone floor in his cell and the softness of your couch—his tongue sits heavy in his mouth.

"what?" he grunts, rubbing at his eyes. he tries to throw you a mock irritated glance, but either it comes off too mild or you've become good at ignoring it. "when'd you get here?"

"a few minutes ago. i got takeout." your lips pull into a teasing smile. "unless you'd rather go back to sleep?"

he pins you with a scathing glare, and annoyingly enough, your smile becomes wider. he stands up, popping his joints and following you to your kitchen table, before diligently taking a seat—in his chair.

toji silently watches you bustle around, grabbing utensils and plates to evenly distribute the food. his stomach growls eagerly, and he realizes just how hungry he is—he recognizes that his body is getting used to being fed so often, and he does not know how to feel about that.

toji's eyes zero in on silly details, not knowing why he does it. your hair is a little messy, not as neat as when you left for work that morning. you've taken off your jacket, the absence of the restrictive fabric making your movements easier. he thinks you've probably had a good day, because your expression, though fatigued, is still relaxed—a small, almost miniscule smile remains on your face.

there a strange satisfaction the settles in his chest when he notices that. he doesn't know why, but the idea that you've had a nice day rather than a difficult one puts him at ease.

"how was your day?" you speak up, briefly making eye contact with him.

(toji does not understand why the small contact makes his stomach flip.)

he grunts, nonchalant. "not bad. didn't do much."

"the injuries are good?"

toji rolls his eyes, dropping his chin into his palm as he pins you with an intrusive stare. "yeah yeah. you ask this every day."

"well it can be good one day and not good the next," you reply defensively, frowning at the chicken you're currently dropping into his plate. but you look satisfied to hear his answer.

toji chuckles mutely. "sure kid."

(the nickname came randomly. you never commented on it. he didn't either.)

he hesitates for a second, before clearing his throat. "how was yours?"

you glance up at him, too quick for him to analyze the expression, but he thinks he catches a faint trace of pleasant surprise. "it was good. boring but not bad at all."

he nods awkwardly—the internal satisfaction grows stronger. his stomach rumbles again as you walk over and place his plate in front of him, and the smell hits his nose immediately—his hunger is all consuming.

(your scent is one of the few human scents he has truly found pleasant.)

and yet he finds himself patiently waiting until you plate your own food, sitting across him quietly. he presses his hands together, bowing his head as he mutters a quiet "thank you for the food" before tucking in.

(he does not say your name, but he thinks he is thanking you—his own twisted version of a god.)

he stays quiet for most of the meal, focusing on the unique and savory taste of the food. months ago he would not have imagined being able to consume such delicacy, but all you have done since you walked into his life is show him that he can have much more than he ever dreamed he could.

you blabber about random things as you eat, telling him about something you saw or what you did throughout the day. he listens.

you're in the middle of updating him about some stupid work drama, which, as embarrassing as it is to say, toji has been looking forward to hearing about. he does not interrupt you, trying to rack his brain for all the details you've spilled the last time.

(it's pathetic how quick he finds them. something about listening to you talk that makes everything else seem useless in comparison.)

"so anyways her husband found out and got mad. but then she basically tried to deny it and said that he was accusing her of nothing." you shove a mouthful of rice into your mouth, rolling your eyes. your tongue flicks out to lick at your lips—toji's eyes shamefully trace the movement. "it's a whole thing now because obviously the dude she was having the affair with works with us too."

"what a bitch," toji answers. your eyes crinkle with amusement, eager to hear him participating. you've probably since realized that he does find your gossip interesting. but it's more than that—he does not know why it's so easy to talk to you.

"right? i hate cheaters," you mutter, stabbing at your chicken.

he does too. something about being a dog that makes loyalty so damn important to him.

(maybe that's why he feels physically ill when he thinks about leaving your side.)

you continue rambling about your cheating coworker with a newfound conviction. toji listens, occasionally dropping a dry remark, and you either laugh or nod emphatically. his lips quirk upward at every reaction. he continues eating his food—slowly so that he can match your pace. which is odd, because he was so damn hungry before.

but even as he quietly chews on the flavored meat, he finds that satiety comes a lot quicker when he quietly listens to you talk.

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