Tw Ableism Mention - Tumblr Posts

honestly kinda fucked up how u guys think a guy has 2 b beefy and strong 2 b a himbo and if he's not beefy he doesn't exist 2 u, like its only 4 himbos also, i havent seen any1 say that u need 2 b a specific body type 2 b a thembo or herbo but as soon as it's some1 who uses he/him he only matters 2 b conventionally attractive 2 straight women like wtf, it's honestly just weirdly sexist and ableist,,,, like the whole point of himbos and the overall reclamation of being a kind dumbass in general is 2 make it so its not like how the old idea of it was when the word bimbo was used as an insult which is like the idea that "oh well she's dumb but at least she makes up 4 it by being conventionally attractive 2 straight men" it's literally just the same thing but u guys r acting like its ok 4 some reason bc instead of it being abt ppl who use she/her pronouns its abt ppl who use he/him pronouns but its not ok and especially w/ how some ppl talk abt it it just kinda furthers this idea that some ppl hav that men r all either women's oppressors or eye candy 4 straight women, also the way some of u straight women talk abt wanting a himbo boyfriend and y u want a himbo boyfriend,,,, i rly hope u never hav a boyfriend who has an intellectual disability bc it sounds like u just want 2 control men who have intellectual disabilities and it's rly weird and ableist and exploitative,,,, like ur literally talking abt wanting a guy w/ an intellectual disability who's also a beefcake that u can control and manipulate into doing whatever u want him 2 and it's honestly legit fucking scary, men should b able 2 hav intellectual disabilities or just b dumb w/out feeling like they owe straight women or any1 conventional attractiveness and w/out having 2 worry that some1 is gonna take advantage of them not being smart, dumbass men should get 2 call themselves himbos if they want w/out having an identity crisis abt it, w/out being sexualised and objectified and w/out having 2 worry that doing so is gonna put them at risk

--sincerely, a dumbass transfag who has a dissociative disorder, psychosis and is unsure if the fact that those things effect my ability to think counts as an intellectual disability or if that would be me using that term wrong, also if you're upset about me, a trans gay guy, calling myself a transfag then my blog probably isn't for you

yeh honestly in my experience going to a gyno sucks so much, like,,, i went to a gyno because i was starting to go thru symptoms of male puberty at age 23 and while yes i am a trans guy i even at the time of typing this now have not gone on any form of HRT, on top of this, without going into too much detail my genitalia was changing shape, i went to a gyno because i thought i was probably intersex, however it was stacked against me since i had to be referred to a gyno by a GP who clearly had no idea what an intersex person was properly and thought it was just people being born with a dick and a pussy every single time with no other ways of being intersex, the gyno i went to see failed to mention that she was told by my GP that this visit was "to ease my mind and reassure me that i wasn't intersex" until the end of the appointment, she repeatedly referred to my biology not even as female but saying that "i was biologically a woman", even sometimes just calling me a woman and then when i reminded her that im not she justified her misgendering me by saying "but you are biologically a woman" even in moments of conversation when it was clear she wasn't referring to my biology she ignored all my concerns i had about my genitalia literally changing shape and told me that "it was normal for the entrance to collapse" she also despite constantly saying i wasn't intersex was visibly disgusted by my biology when she was inspecting it and also ridiculed me for being incontinent and having to remove my (clean) adult diaper for the examination, she and my GP had decided that this visit was about me being "reassured that i wasn't intersex" and not about actually trying to find out what was going on with my body, because of this my gender therapist no longer believes me when i say that i am intersex even though it is becoming more and more obvious as i see my symptoms of male puberty crop up stronger and stronger without any form of hormone replacement therapy, it's worth noting also that while i have no proof that this examination was what made my gender therapist decide to stop helping me, the conversation we had where i told her how the visit to the gyno went was the last one we had if i remember correctly before she started ghosting me

also side note; my gyno literally tried to make me afraid of getting further examined by her using the medical equipment by showing me a speculum (not sure if im spelling that right since ive never seen the word written down, just going off auto correct here) and telling me how it would be really painful especially if i was getting smaller down there, saying to her assistant "the plastic one hurts more show her that one" so yeah i agree that going to the gyno can 100% be traumatising

i just got back from my first ever gynecological exam and somehow, despite the doctor being really nice and way more knowledgeable about trans bodies than i was expecting, it still ended up being incredibly upsetting and honestly probably mildly traumatizing. i’m sure it’s no secret to anyone following me that going to the gynecologist is a uniquely shitty experience for a lot of trans guys and i knew that but i really was not prepared for that.

first of all, everything you read says that the pelvic exam and pap smear shouldn’t hurt even if they’re super uncomfortable, but let me tell you, that shit fucking hurt. like, i have a pretty high pain tolerance and usually even when something does hurt i don’t show it very much, but that was maybe the most painful thing i’ve ever had a doctor do to me and it showed. to be fair, i’ve never had good luck with things like that — i couldn’t even use tampons back when i had a period because the one time i did, taking it out was really painful — and i’m on t now so i’m sure that makes things even harder and i was prepared for it to hurt, but i really wasn’t ready for just bad it was. it’s been an hour since the exam finished and there’s still some pain so, yeah, so much for “it’s just uncomfortable, not painful”.

(and a side note: when it did hurt, the doctor told me to relax my muscles because the tension makes it hurt more. what they didn’t seem to realize is that if your brain and body are collectively rejecting the presence of something inside you, making those muscles relax is a fucking herculean task and i for one was not in any way capable of it so it just…kept getting more painful.)

i also was never informed ahead of time of what a pelvic exam actually entails; i had assumed it was a more general external checkup, and that the pap smear was the only really invasive part. as it turns out, i was very wrong, and “pelvic exam” actually means the doctor sticks their finger up you to feel around. she asked me if i was comfortable getting the exam because it was so obvious that the pap smear didn’t go well, but i had no clue what i was saying yes to and it was a total surprise for me when there was something inside me again. and she knew it was my first time, so she had no reason to assume i knew that the exam would be like. by the time i realized i absolutely should not have said yes to it, i was too late and it was already happening. it really feels like common sense that if you’re going to be giving someone what basically amounts to a professional fingering, you should probably make it clear that that’s what’s about to happen, but i guess that doctor would disagree.

and of course, the whole time i was also being misgendered. the doctor used the right name for me, but the other staff didn’t and everything about it was so excessively gendered (i’m pretty sure the appointment i had was literally called a “women’s wellness visit” on the same sheet that had trans man and nonbinary as gender options). not to mention, when i told them i’m getting top surgery and have the exact date set, the nurse made a comment to like“well aren’t you one of the lucky ones,” which really felt like it had “i think trans guys have a super easy time getting surgeries that cis women have to fight for” energy.

and the irony of all this definitely isn’t lost on me — i just did a project this past semester about how trans guys are fucked over by reproductive healthcare practices so a lot of us just never go, and now i got some firsthand experience in exactly why so many of us just say “no fucking way”.

i just want to put this out there for anyone who hasn’t done it before because i think this would have been a lot less awful for me if someone had just told me “yeah, it might hurt way more than you think, and also that thing they call a pelvic exam is actually an internal exam.” i thought i was prepared and i totally wasn’t, so hopefully this will reach someone else who will be better off knowing all of this.

//ableism mention tw

ok just gonna say something really quick: i absolutely hate Abe's characterisation in the reboot of Clone High because it is nothing like how he acted in season 1 and it just. isn't funny. they've turned this good-intentioned but flawed loser kid who just wants to be like the original Abraham Lincoln but doesn't know how to, into a self-centered and arrogant asshole who literally almost said a horrible ableist slur twice in the first episode. like. i'm being serious, he almost says the R-slur twice in the same minute and i dunno about you but i really don't find it very funny when a) the only "joke" behind it is "oh look at how bad Abe is compared to the more progressive sensitivities of the new generation of clones, isn't he just terrible", and b) they felt the need to completely rewrite a pre-existing character that fans are already attached to to do something against his own morals for the sake of a shitty joke, and c) TOPHER WAS RIGHT THERE!!! isn't he supposed to be the asshole or am i missing something?? like...

i'm not saying you can't have "edgy" or "dark" comedy or whatever, but personally, i don't find it very funny when a character that actually means quite a lot to me and is one of my favourites is twisted and rewritten into an arrogant asshole in an apparent attempt to appeal to the people who hate Abe for his flaws in the original show. especially when he's rewritten to be someone who would say a slur that's literally been used against my fellow disabled peers, myself included. it just feels... wrong. it actually hurts a lot to see a character i once loved and found to be one of the funniest and most important characters in the show be turned into an arrogant dick, with barely any thought or meaning put into him. i don't like what they did with the rest of the OG cast as well (such as Joan making a complete 180 in her entire character, JFK's character assassination, the removal of Gandhi, Cleo barely being in it etc.), but to me, they did Abe the dirtiest in this season and i'm really disappointed that one of my favourite shows had to continue like this :(