Vi. Maggie Shaw : . - Tumblr Posts
“I really did want to make a difference. I really cared. And then I started giving pieces of myself away, and I guess I gave away everything.”
@thcrealheroes ; starlight : just talk to me! memes from nghtmarish ; inbox is open.
𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐧'𝐭 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐢𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐞𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦. annie was always so good, just pleading with her to always do the right thing, always wanting to see the best in everyone. always so fucking hopeful. it seemed like a lifetime ago when she had had the same thought process, now she was just bitter and angry at homelander, at vought, at annie, at the fucking world, at herself. she didn't say 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 to her because she didn't have anything to say. what good would it do either of them? words weren't going make this better for either of them. annie wanted her to stand up, to fight for them against homelander and vought, but she had lost all of her fight and she didn't have the energy to do it anymore. every time she tried to fight him, she lost everything and she couldn't lose annie, she refused to lose annie. even if refusing to fight alongside her meant she would lose her in a different way, but if it meant that she was still alive, then that was good enough for her.
" 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐞𝐱𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐚𝐲? " maeve sighed, taking another drag of her cigarette before looking over at annie with an unemotional look on her face. she didn't get why she was so 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 on trying to do the right thing. annie was always going to be the best of them, but it also could be the thing that could put her in the most danger. as much as she wished she could help, maeve didn't want to keep going up against homelander, they were never going to win. running a hand through red strands of hair, shaking her head as she looked away from her because she couldn't see the look of 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 on the blonde's face, " there is nothing you can say that's gonna make me change my mind, annie. i won't fight him, " she took another drag exhaling smoke before looking over at her again, a dark look in blue eyes as her anger reaches a boiling point, " i saved your fucking life over and over, but you're so insistent putting yourself on the line to save people who don't fucking matter! " maybe it was all the years of being around homelander for her to have that atittude, but she also didn't think that annie should be consistently putting herself at risk like this. no one was going to thank her for it. no one would even remember her if she got herself killed trying to do the right thing.
𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐮𝐩 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐚 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐤𝐲 𝐨𝐧 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐭, considering how much she had been drinking, it was a miracle that she even could stand up right now. moving towards her, blue eyes fiery as she looked at her, " if you think i am going to stand you and watch you get yourself killed, think again. i won't do it. i can't do it, " the last part was whispered almost like she was scared of saying it or it even be heard. she wasn't good at this, being honest with her feelings and she had a good reason to hold back now. annie had 𝐧𝐨 𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐚 what homelander would do to her if he knew what maeve felt for her. his jealousy and possessiveness was still ever present, a threat on every kind of meaningful relationship she tried to have in her life. the last thing she wanted was for this fight to reveal the one thing she had been trying to keep safe and risked her losing everything, " i can't stop you if this is really what you want to do, go with your little twink friend and get yourselves killed trying to fight him. but i can't keep saving you if you insist of running head first into danger, so good luck but get out, i can't do it, "
“Q: what is self-destruction? A: what i am.”
— this darkness has swallowed me whole. (insp.) // V.R.
@thcrealheroes ; homelander : " He - he's gone. They took him. Those motherfuckers took him ! " random inbox asks ; always accepting.
𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐠𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐬𝐞𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝, maeve and soldier boy were unstoppable whenever they were fighting alongside each other and it absolutely made sense that ares and his team of assholes would try to separate them. but she never should've let it happen. she got herself distracted for a moment and she lost track of him. fuck. she was trying not to panic, panicking wouldn't help him and panciking wouldn't make anyone feel better. yet she felt like she was on the 𝐞𝐝𝐠𝐞 and she could barely hear homelander as he spoke to her, blue eyes focused on the shield in his hands, her heart racing in her chest as she tried not to fall apart. this was the last thing he wanted. ben refused to be a prisoner again, to let himself get caught and remained captured again. he was going to be hating this, he was going to make life hell for those fuckers who thought they could do whatever they wanted. maggie would do anything to get him back, she had to because she know he would do 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 for her if she was the one who was caught.
𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐞𝐥𝐝 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐡𝐢𝐦, trying to hide the way her hands shook for a moment as she tried to ignore that need to just scream and break something. ares had taken so much from her already and she refused to lose anyone else to that fucker. she couldn't cry, she couldn't break apart, she didn't have that option right now. she just had to get him back and she would 𝐟𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 like hell to get to him. holding his shield made her feel a little stronger, a little better but it wasn't enough. she had to get him back, she wouldn't leave him in that place, she wouldn't let him be a prisoner to anyone again. taking a deep breath, finally looking up at homelander as she moved the shield onto her back, " he's not gone. i'm getting him back, i'm not . . . i'm not fucking losing him too, " maeve shook her head, probably wasn't thinking clearly but she wasn't going to just let him go. she needed him and she wouldn't be without him, he always called her his sword and she needed her shield more than anything.
𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐟𝐢𝐠𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐚 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐧 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐲, she wasn't going to stop till ben was free and he got to have the life that seemed like a far off dream. she wouldn't let him stay that way, she wouldn't give up on him. running a hand through her hair, looking in the direction of vought tower, she wasn't thinking but she knew 𝐞𝐱𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐥𝐲 what she needed to do. walking in the direction of the tower, not looking at homelander as she walked past him before stopping, " are you coming or are you really gonna let me do this alone? " maeve asked, glancing back at him and she knew he had plenty of reasons to say no, but she also knew how important family was to him. annie was going to be mad at both of them for being so thoughtless, but even the blonde goody two shoes would understand why they needed to do this, " we can't leave him there. ares will . . . ares will only do to him what the russians did, if not fucking worse. we gotta get him back, we're all he has, "
@thcrealheroes ; a - train : i never meant for anyone to get hurt! three hundred & ninety prompts ; accepting.
𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐝𝐢𝐝 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐬𝐨 𝐧𝐮𝐦𝐛 𝐭𝐨 𝐢𝐭 𝐚𝐥𝐥? that seeing a - train covered in blood barely had her flinching anymore. fuck, she shouldn't be like this. but whatever had happened for a - train to be completely covered head to toe in blood had to be pretty fucked up. he was shaking, mumbling about something and she knew that it must be 𝐛𝐚𝐝 if he had come to her before anyone else. what had he gotten himself caught up in that he was looking like this? maeve moved over to him, a softer look replacing the harsher one she had been wearing, " take a deep breath, reggie, you need to calm down and talk to me, " even with his speed, there was no way someone didn't know he had come into seven tower like this, which meant they had limited time before stillwell and her band of merry pr assholes would be to do damage control. considering the state he was in, it was likely whoever he had hurt wasn't exactly in a good way anymore.
𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐦𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐛 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐟𝐨𝐜𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐧 𝐡𝐞𝐫, not caring about the blood at all and just trying to get him to focus on her instead of whatever panic was going on in his head, " breathe, in through your nose and out through your mouth, " she guided, not many people got to see this side of her, but something about reggie made her want to look out for him, she just wish she 𝐤𝐧𝐞𝐰 what trouble he had gotten himself caught up in. hands move to take his glasses off from his face, blue eyes narrowing as she looks at him for a moment. fuck. he was high, there was no mistaking that from his eyes. but on what? she had no idea because there was no way any normal drug would cause this, " what are you on? what did you take? reggie, tell me what happened, "
“Please don’t expect me to always be good and kind and loving. There are times when I will be cold and thoughtless and hard to understand.”
— Sylvia Plath
@thcrealheroes ; starlight : " I - I thought I lost you when you sacrificed yourself taking out Soldier Boy. I - I never . . . why would you do that ! Why did you do that ? Don't you know I love you, Maggie ?! " random inbox asks ; always accepting.
𝐢𝐭 𝐦𝐚𝐲 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐚𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐝𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧, but it wasn't something she could ever regret doing. if soldier boy had exploded there, he would've killed them all and as much as she had been willing to do anything to make sure homelander died, she would never risk them all. especially not with annie right there, who she had already 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 over and over. she didn't even care if she died, she already knew fighting homelander was likely to be a fight to the death and she had made peace with that. but she never wanted this, she never would've wanted annie at risk like this. even in that moment where they locked eyes and she knew annie knew exactly what she was about to do, she didn't hesitate and she didn't even 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐩 to think about might happen to her. maggie knew that soldier boy's blast would get rid of her powers, which meant it was incredibly likely she wouldn't survive the fall. but she would've done the right thing, like annie believed she would do. she would be a hero like annie had once believed she was.
𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐮𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐞𝐥𝐬𝐞, her whole body ached, she had completely lost her right eye and she was looking to a slow recovery. all the compound v in her blood had been burned away, she was human and as much as she was relieved to no longer have be queen maeve, she was not looking forward to this long recovery. honestly, she was surprised she wasn't more hurt, her left arm was in a sling, bandage over her eye and she was covered in bruises and cuts that were likely to scar. no longer made of 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐥, she was going to have to be careful with herself now, she was going to have to remember that she no longer had the strength or power she had grown used to. but nothing could've prepared for the emotional pain she felt when seeing annie again for the first time, seeing the look of pain on her face and the blonde always had such a way with words that 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐜𝐤 her right in the heart.
𝐲𝐞𝐭 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐞'𝐬 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐧'𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐬𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐚𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐫, reaching out for her with her good hand as she couldn't move much from the bed she was laid in, " you're always so dramatic, you know that? " maggie teased, giving her hand a gentle squeeze before she sighed softly, looking up at her with a soft look on her face, " you know why i did it - i wasn't gonna let you get caught up in that. you and your friends gotta keep fighting . . . it was the right thing to do, annie, " she admits softly, teeth pulling on her bottom lip for a moment. she wasn't good at this, the emotional things, annie was always much better at it than she was and she was just going to have to try to better now, " i love you, annie. fuck, you think i was gonna let anything happen to you. i just knew i had to get him out of there before you got hurt . . . the world fucking needs you, annie, no one needs me, "
Queen Maeve in every episode:
2.02 Proper Preparation and Planning
THE GIRLS in The Boys - Official Season 3 Redband Teaser Trailer
@thcrealheroes
THE GOOD PLACE 4.13 | Whenever You're Ready
QUEEN MAEVE IN THE BOYS | 2.07 “Butcher, Baker, Candlestick Maker”
𝐨𝐟 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞 𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠. though she had to admit that it was incredibly satisfying to see him almost begging her for a place amongst her group. arms fold across her chest, blue eyes flicking over him once, a smirk pulling at her lips, " seems to be quite the pattern with you - all your groups fall to shit. maybe you're the rebel and now you're cryin' out for protection 'cause your games being caught onto, " the last thing she needed right now was more trouble. he was right about one thing, these lands were dangerous and she had to be careful with who she chose to put her trust in. a while back, she would've never doubted if she could trust john. but these days? she would be stupid to allow herself to get burnt again, " you're not exactly the right type of stray, you're gonna stick out like a sore thumb amongst my group of girls, " maggie admits, except she hates that he's right about one thing, she wouldn't want his blood on her hands especially if he was 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞, begging for help. sighing softly, hand running through red hair as she looks away for a moment before looking back at him, " fine. you can stick around for now. i'll get my girls to find a few other guys that we can trust, so you don't look so obvious, " she relents, hoping this wouldn't be a decision that she came to regret. she just hoped he wouldn't bring more trouble to her door, she had her own stuff to deal with than cleaning up john's mess. stepping towards him, hands moving to rest on her hips, " but you're not in charge here, john. you're gonna listen to me, got it? "
"no, I don't care" his grin widening shamelessly "but I'm not here for a chit chat about her either, come on.. it all is getting boring" because he still sees that said girlfriend as his rivalry until he sees her lifeless corpse burning in flames, he still has soft spot for Maeve and hearing she's dating again was painful for him.. "ah" he clicks his tongue "no, I wouldn't. but the thing is, my previous gang. we had a rebel between us that killed the leader and I got lucky when I ran away from them, you know how cruel life is in these lands, I need to hook on some group to survive so here's my offer, let me join your team, Maggie. you won't regret it" he lowers his hands slowly, wipes at the sweat beading on his forehead "heard you gave home to few strays, one more wouldn't be such burden, eh? I can pull my weight if that's the case.. if the answer is still a 'no', then maybe let me ride with your team until we reach another group's place, I can't be out here alone.. scavengers are everywhere and you don't want your old friend's blood on your hand, do you?"
𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐞 𝐜𝐫𝐲 𝐬𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐥 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬, she was always someone who seemed to wear her heart on her sleeve and despite the many times that maggie had told her to never let anyone see her like this. but this was different than just being overwhelmed with everything that was happening, this was heartbreak in its purest form and something told her that this definitely didn't have anything to do with that twink hughie campbell. though she couldn't rule out that john's twisted games were potentially becoming too much, she had been in her place before, she knew what being homelander's 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭 really meant and what it could make someone feel like. though she was sure that he was signficantly worse now that he was scrambling to stay in control. but when annie confirms her tears had nothing to do with homelander, maggie feels herself relax a little, looking down at her hands for a moment before looking back up at annie, " yeah, well he's the root of all our problems right now, doesn't really explain why you're a complete wreck right now, "
𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐥𝐭 𝐟𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐝𝐬 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐲𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐦 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐚 𝐦𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭. shit. fucking butcher. he never mentioned a thing about annie the other night. if she had known, she never would've made a move on him. now she had another reason to feel shitty about that night, breaking her soberity and fucking the man who her friend clearly had fallen in love with. good one, maggie, you fucked up everything again. shaking her head, running a hand through red strands of hair as she looked at her, tongue darting out over her lips, " fucking hell, annie, you really do like living on the edge, don't you? " shaking her head as she looked away, leaning forward on her knees as she tried to figure out the best thing to say. she wasn't shocked that butcher had been so 𝐜𝐫𝐮𝐞𝐥 to annie, russia had been a dead end and clearly the frustration of that had gotten the better of him, " fuck me, he's an a right asshole when he wants to be, isn't he? "
𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐞'𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧, a slightly softer expression on her face as she looked at the blonde, a gentle shake of her head, " doesn't matter what he says - you're not homelander's latest whore, you're the only strong enough to not bow to his will like that, " having been what butcher would probably consider one of homelander's whores, annie was nothing like that. if anything, she couldn't believe how strong annie was coping with all his bullshit and stood up to him in a way that no one else had been able to, " like most men, butcher is lashing out 'cause he's hurt, fucked off and probably jealous. they're all giant toddlers who have tantrums when they don't get their way, " maggie pointed out, not that it made any of it any better because annie absolutely did not deserve to be spoken to like that at all. giving her hand a gentle squeeze, she sighed softly, " don't let that fucker break you down like this. he's not worth it - especially since he's the fucker clearly doesn't respect you, " she was unsure if butcher had told her the truth, but she was going to because she wouldn't let annie think that was something she did to her friends, " annie, if i had known that the two of you . . . you know i was the one who pointed them in the direction of soldier boy, i went to see what the fuck happened . . . i've been known to make shitty decisions, especially when i've had something to drink, " sighing again, running a hand through her hair again as she looked away from her because annie was one of the few people she didn't want to hurt, " we had sex. it won't happen again and i wanna kick his ass for not respecting you like that . . . i'm sorry annie, "
@vghtsupes / continue from [ xx ]
ANNIE HAS EXPERIENCED HEARTBREAKS MANY TIMES BEFORE, and in many different ways. But this ? This stung deeper than she could have ever imagined. This sorrow, this heartbreak, carved a hole in her chest, dug for her heart, and crushed it, leaving it destroyed and beyond repairable. Why did she have to fall for him ? Why did she even allow herself to go to him ? Why... why was she so stupid ?
![@vghtsupes / Continue From [ Xx ]](https://64.media.tumblr.com/90f366da5e0832bd831fd7b2e4a267c4/dee5d0b756ffa99d-71/s250x400/6955b65ab0dae6f1d4bb09d348c04bb5f8071f63.png)
She thought she could make it, and kept the urge of wanting to cry in control as long as possible as her footsteps quickened. Still, before Annie could make it to her apartment, he- being Homelander made a show of himself to block her path, going on about something- Annie didn't know; she wasn't paying much attention, too busy managing the STORM that was her emotions. But-- she wasn't like Maeve; she wasn't like any of them here to turn off what she felt, to hold herself together ? That just wasn't her. BURSTING out in tears and clinging on to Homelander for some kind of comfort, she knew she'd come to loathe herself for that later on. But right now, she just needed to feel something ? As she wept on Homelander, her arms clung tightly around him. Soon, she felt another set of hands on her, forcibly pulling the young blonde away from Homelander. As she turned to see who it was, a wave of relief washed over her as she realized it was Maeve. At the same time, she couldn't help but feel a little embarrassed and foolish. She lowered her head and let Maggie guide her away, hoping to avoid further embarrassment.
SHE SINKS INTO MAGGIE'S SOFT, COMFORTABLE COUCH, GENTLY BLOWING HER NOSE into the tissue, feeling ashamed and miserable. Her eyes are swollen, and her face is red from all the crying. Annie lets out a broken sob, shaking her head in disbelief as she places a trembling hand on her forehead. She can't believe that she just hugged Homelander, of all people. " Fuck- I'm so.... God. I'm such an idiot. " The blonde whimpers under her breath as she. " What did he ? Who ? Home- no, God, no, this... this isn't about him. He's the ROOT of all my problems, yes... but these tears will never be for him. It's-- " Head turning away, using the back of her sleeve to wipe away the tears streaming down her salt-stained cheeks, bottom lip quivering, a laugh- not a real one, but one of annoyance, one that is more towards herself than anyone else. She will never learn, will she ?
![@vghtsupes / Continue From [ Xx ]](https://64.media.tumblr.com/a603b8bb0fa5edaf673c2efff60f38c5/dee5d0b756ffa99d-22/s250x400/2d3d42e4978380964b6f070252fea7a1bf304e5e.png)
" I'm not like you.. you know. I'm not strong, I can't just break away from my feelings... but I wish I could shut that part of me off. I just- I wish I... I've been-- " Eyebrows knitting together, features TWISTING to make sense of what she's about to tell Maeve. " ...I've been seeing Bil- Butcher for the past... year or so ? I.. I don't even know what to call it... It's not like we were dating or anything... But I.. I- I love him... GOD- FUCK... " A loud gasp leaves past twin flesh when the realization hits her. " -- And I... I don't know what happened. We got in a fight-- which isn't new, but this time ? He.. he called me- he told me I was known as Homelander's latest whore. And I just... And many other things... but I don't... "
QUEEN MAEVE ↠ the boys • 3.04 “Glorious Five Year Plan”
— Silas Melvin