This Is So Soft - Tumblr Posts
Ah! Love
Yoon Jeonghan isn't told 'no' often - or ever, really. So, when his friends set him up to get turned down, his ego is shattered. But his friends didn't realize they just introduced him to his new partner in crime.
Pairing: Jeonghan x female reader Genres: fluff, angst, smut, slow burn, fake dating, college au, idiots to lovers
Word count: 50k
TW/CW: MDNI! Contains smut with no protection mentioned (be safe please!!), under-aged drinking, alcoholism, implications of abuse and neglect (but no specific descriptions), food, mental health struggles.
A/N: The way these characters are written in no way indicates reality as this is entirely a work of fiction. This whole thing was just one big coping mechanism for recent events... please enjoy!!!
Recommended playlist: Ah! Love by Seventeen; Can't Get You by Jaehyun; Bonnie & Clyde by Yuqi
Act One
Itās nearly 1am when Y/N parks her car. She should have been home a while ago, but thanks to someone calling in, she was asked to work a few extra hours today. Not like it was hard, but thereās only so much to do at the reference desk at the campus library on a Friday night. The semester hasnāt even started yet, but the stupid university policy said that the library had to be staffed 24/7 except for holidays.
She was just thankful that one of her coworkers had the good sense to hide a phone charger in the bottom of a desk drawer. It had come in handy tonight when sheād finished her book. The university library had a less than impressive fiction collection to pick from.Ā
But now, Y/N was irritated again because her designated parking spot at her apartment complex was taken. In fact, every single spot was taken. Someone must have been hosting a party to celebrate before the start of the semester. This complex was mostly occupied by students, but damn, didnāt they know how to read signs, such as RESERVED? So she was parked on the street half a block away.
Y/N yanked the key out of the ignition and had her hand on the door handle when a loud laugh made her jump back. A group of guys were walking down the sidewalk towards her and theyād clearly been drinking. Not interested in facing them (whether out of self-preservation or to spare them her mood), she sat back in her seat, biting her nail and waiting patiently (read: Not Patiently At All). They seemed to be taking their sweet time. As they walk under street lights, she thinks she might recognize one or two of them from campus over the years, but that doesnāt mean much. The university has a huge student body.
One of them stops, a muffled, āHold on,ā coming through the car window. He steps towards the front passenger side of her car. His hands go to his pants. Heās -Ā
Heās peeing on her car.Ā
Her jaw drops. A car passes by and in the headlights she can see who it is. She unfortunately knows him - or knows of him, anyway. Itās Yoon Jeonghan.Ā
Her jaw is now tight, gritting teeth together painfully. Before she can think, her hand is on the center of the steering wheel, pressing sharply. The horn blasts for a split second and the only thing that makes this situation any better is the panic that flashes across his face. He jumps back, zipping himself up, waving and shouting a quick āSorry!ā Then heās off, practically sprinting. His friends follow, but between the drinks and the laughter, theyāre sluggish.
Y/N waits until theyāre around the corner before she gets out of her car.
The next morning, Y/N finds Vernon at the kitchen table with a bowl of cereal. He doesnāt look up from the game on his phone when she walks in and goes straight for the coffee. āDidnāt hear you come in last night.ā
Y/N grunted as she slid into a seat across from him. He pushed her a bowl and spoon, along with a box of sugary cereal. āYeah, I didnāt get back until 1. Had to park on the street.ā Vernon hums, but sheās not sure heās really listening or cares. āBy the way, do you know if the complex has a water hose or something near the parking lot?ā
Now heās listening, though he still doesnāt look up. His eyebrows are scrunched. āWater hose? I donāt know. Why? Why not go through a car wash? Thereās one around the corner.ā
āI donāt need a whole car wash for my piece of shit car. Just enough to wash the urine off of my tire.ā
Vernon bites back a laugh. āSomeone pissed on your car?ā Heās obviously amused.Ā
āYoon Jeonghan did.ā
Now his laughter resembles the squeak of a windshield wiper. This was nothing new - Vernon finding Y/Nās bad luck hilarious. Normally, sheād let it go because he had a laugh that made her laugh. She did not find it funny right now. āYeah, yeah, yeah,ā she mumbled, stuffing some cereal in her mouth to bite back any further comments.
Vernon wiped his eyes. āHow do you even know it was him?ā
āBecause I was in the car when it happened.ā Another bite of cereal for Y/N and another wheeze from Vernon. For the rest of the morning, Vernon would glance at her before falling into another fit of laughter. Y/N opted to escape by going back to bed.Ā
Jeonghan joins his friends in the student union at lunch on Monday. Classes started this morning but heās not stressing it so far. After all, heās only had one class and itās already 1pm. Tomorrow might be another story based on his class schedule, but heāll worry about that⦠tomorrow.
Across from him, Mingyu is talking about the girl he hooked up with on Friday night. Jeonghanās not really listening because heās too busy scarfing down his third slice of pizza.Ā
Seungcheol tells the story of his hookup on Saturday night. It becomes a competition between Seungcheol and Mingyu and they keep glancing at Jeonghan as he stuffs his face with more pizza, challenging him to jump in. He usually would, but heās not terribly interested today.
Besides, they all know he didnāt go home after the party on Friday. He walked with them back to campus and ended up in the dorm room of one of the many girls he kept in rotation. All it took was one text and five minutes later she was signing him in at the front desk of her dorm as a guest. He signed himself out at the front desk afterwards because it was clear she wasnāt up to moving anytime soon. Between that and how satisfied she looked, he was pretty happy with the night as he walked back home. He doesnāt feel the need to brag anymore. His reputation precedes him.Ā
When it becomes apparent that Jeonghan isnāt taking the bait, they turn on Joshua. āHowās your girlfriend?ā The word āgirlfriendā comes out as more of a sneer when Mingyu says it. Out of the whole group, Joshua seems to be the only one that believes in the concept, or at least puts it to any genuine practice.
Joshua met her while shadowing at the hospital a few years ago when he was still trying to pick a major. His crush was massive and they all teased him relentlessly about it. But after seeing how lovesick their friend was, they actually encouraged him to ask her out. They knew Joshua wasnāt a huge fan of anything casual. Heād rarely hooked up before meeting his current girlfriend anyway. Jeonghan is happy for him, he really is, but heās still very perplexed at the dopey smile that overtakes his friendās face at the mere mention of her.Ā
āSheās good. We volunteered at the animal shelter on Saturday and then went out to dinner.ā He says this with such an innocent grin that some scoff or roll their eyes. Jeonghan just smiles and shakes his head. They should know by now that Joshua is just that kind of person. Even if he wasnāt, all this girl would have to do is ask because heās totally wrapped around her finger. Again, very perplexing. Jeonghan couldnāt imagine what that was like.
Jihoon is not one of those people that scoffs at Joshua though. He shakes his head disappointedly at the others and then looks at Joshua directly. āTheyāre just jealous. They wouldnāt know how to even get into a relationship, much less hold one down as long as you have.ā
Joshua seems totally unfazed with his stupid smile, but Seungcheol barks out a laugh. āIt canāt be that hard. Mingyu and I both have had long-term things.ā He pointedly ignores Jihoon's correction - a not-so-subtle mumble of āsituationshipā disguised under a cough. Dating was a very loose term for them, never that serious and really just for a predictable amount of sex in the end. When they got their fill, it was over at the snap of a finger. āBesides, itās Jeonghan that couldnāt do it at all.ā
Jeonghan chuckles, āWhat makes you think that?ā
The silence is deafening for only a moment before his friends start giggling. Mingyu bangs his fist on the table. Seungcheol is shaking his head in disbelief. Jihoon is sliding down in his chair and covering his face. Even Joshua is smiling like heās trying to contain a laugh.Ā
Which is not a good time for Chan, the poor unsuspecting freshman that theyāve taken under their wing, to slide into a seat at the table. He looks like heās afraid to ask. When he makes eye contact with Jeonghan, heās really afraid to ask.Ā
Jeonghan scoffs. āI donāt know whatās so funny. I could date anytime I want. I just donāt want to,ā he yells near the end to be heard over his friends.
Seungcheolās still shaking his head, but this time it has a purpose. āNo, Iām sorry, man. I havenāt seen you so much as go on a single date since high school. Everybody knows your pattern. You sweet talk some poor girl at a party to get her home and then as soon as itās over, you say āThis was nice, but Iām not interested in anything moreā.āĀ
The words sting because itās accurate, right down to the phrasing Jeonghan usually uses. Seungcheol must have heard some of these awkward morning-after conversations before at their apartment. Jeonghan is used to Seungcheol cheering him on in his pursuits. It felt like a skill then, one that he was very good at. A little locker room talk is normal, right? Itās another thing entirely for his best friend of nearly 15 years to turn it all around and say he canāt do the opposite. That his skills are a hindrance to it. That heās just not capable of it.
Joshua must have sensed his friendās discomfort because he tries to smooth it over. āHan, all heās trying to say is that youāve never even expressed interest in pursuing someone seriously and you shoot down anyone that approaches you for more than sex. When you do want to date, there might be a bit of a learning curve. Thatās all.ā
Jeonghan doesnāt know how to respond because heās totally floored by the whole situation. Since when did not wanting anything serious become a problem? Jeonghan likes having fun. He likes having something new often. When did they stop understanding that?
The minutes tick by slowly, especially when his friends are still talking about it long after Chan has finished his lunch. Theyāve emptied their trays and left the student union and theyāre still talking about it. Theyāre half-way across campus and theyāre still talking about it. Details about how shameless heās been, how brutal heās been about his rejections, how heās won so many bets and completed so many dares over the last few years. His record is starting to sound like a bad thing when they were high-fiving him about it a week ago.
Mingyu turns around, walking backwards so he can face Jeonghan with a taunting smile. āI canāt believe you think you can do it.ā
āI can,ā Jeonghan says, now completely bitter because it doesnāt come off as confidently as he would have liked. Itās not like him to accept that he canāt do something. He likes pushing limits. He likes to toe the line. Mingyuās face right now makes him want to jump clean across the line just to prove him wrong. The words spill out. āI can prove it.āĀ
This gets all of his friends attention. Seungcheolās smirk is so fucking irritating when he says, āAnd how are you going to do that?āĀ
Jeonghanās jaw clenches. Heās burned a lot of bridges as heās formed this reputation. There are a lot of women that hate him - have yelled at him, slapped him, bad mouthed him, or just plain sobbed in front of him. Besides the last one, that was usually pretty amusing. There are also a lot of men that hate him too, likely because heās ghosted their friend or sister. Thatās a little less amusing when he has to dodge a fight. Heās not a coward when it comes to a fight, but he feels like thereās nothing to defend because heās done nothing wrong. Heās never promised anyone a date and itās not his fault when someone assumes that he will. But now heās very determined to prove that he can do anything he wants with anyone at anytime because theyāll happily let him. That includes dating. āPick anyone. Iāll make it happen.ā
His friends raise their eyebrows as they look at him. Theyāve now stopped in the quad and stepped off the path into the grass. Jeonghan grows impatient with their stares. He waves his hand around the quad. āPick.āĀ
Mingyu and Seungcheol are the only ones that start looking around with any sort of seriousness. They must find something that makes them happy because they look at each other and smirk. When they turn to Jeonghan, their expressions make his stomach turn, but heās determined not to show it.Ā
Mingyu points across the quad to a figure. Their target is a girl heās seen in some of his English classes before but her name escapes him. All he knows is that sheās is a major bookworm, usually having stacks of books on her desk that arenāt even for a class. The only reason heās noticed it is because heās heard others laugh and whisper about it - which he found ironic because they were all English majors. You shouldn't pick that major if you hate to read. A errant frisbee flies within five feet of her and she doesnāt flinch. Heās never talked to her.Ā
āLetās start by getting her to agree to go out with you first.ā Mingyuās clearly enjoying this and Jeonghanās fists clench in his pockets to resist hitting him.Ā
āAnd what do I get out of this?ā It wonāt be a girlfriend, at least not in anyway that matters. He does want something besides his pride back though.
ā$100 if you can get her to agree to go on a date with you. Another $100 if you can get her to agree to be your girlfriend. Another $100 if you can make that last three months.ā Seungcheol states the terms, looking rather smug about it. He expects Jeonghan to back down. The whole concept of dating is absolutely not his style and $300 doesnāt seem worth the trouble. Seungcheolās probably giving a lowball offer on purpose. But Jeonghan is desperate to retain some pride and composure.Ā
Jeonghanās feet are moving before he even realizes it. He slaps Seungcheol on the shoulder for good measure as he passes.Ā
Y/N is quite literally a page away from finishing her chapter when a shadow casts over her. She glances up and suppresses a groan. āCan I sit here?ā She slides over to the edge of the bench and tries to refocus on her book and remain unaffected. However, her mind has alarm bells are going off.
Why the fuck is Yoon Jeonghan sitting next to her?
She prayed he didnāt recognize her from Friday night. She did not want to have that conversation - or any really - with him. But she could not think of a single other reason why he would be here right now.Ā
āYou look familiar. Have we had classes together before?āĀ
She glances up, if only for a brief moment to make her answer convincing. āMaybe.ā She knows sheās had classes with him. He doesnāt need the ego boost by knowing sheās paid any attention to him though. He gets enough of that from everyone else.
He sticks out his hand. āIām Jeonghan. Iām sorry I havenāt introduced myself in any of those classes before.ā
Y/N stares for a second, internally cursing the manners that are ingrained in her. Sheās going to have to shake his hand, if only to remain polite for now. She mutters her name, reaching out to his hand. His hand dwarves hers, long fingers wrapping around her hand, but his touch is soft and warm. It surprises her only momentarily before sheās remembering all the reasons why she wants to avoid him. Sheās relieved to have her book clutched in both hands again to ground her. She will not be falling for his charms today, or ever.
āIāll get straight to the point, since I interrupted you. Would you like to go on a date with me?ā He says gently, but thereās the usual amount of arrogance in his expression. Like he knows what sheās going to say. Y/N bets he usually gets the answer he wants. Y/N presses her lips together, feeling uncomfortable for so many reasons.
āOh. Thatās nice of you, but no thank you.ā
Jeonghan blinks a few times, then his eyebrows furrow. āUh. What?ā
Y/N closes her book and stares at him. Why now? Theyāve shared classes for three years now. Their schedules have aligned an irritating number of times and heās never so much as glanced her way. Not that she would have ever fallen for this, even as a naive freshman three years ago. āI said, no thank you. Iām not interested.ā
āNot interested?ā He says this slowly, like the words don't make sense to him. Maybe they donāt. Word on campus is that he doesnāt hear them often. Or perhaps ever from the expression on his face. But thereās a first for everything, right? This must be one for him. āCan I ask why?ā
Thereās a loud cackle across the quad and it gets both of their attentions. Itās the guys that were with Jeonghan on Friday night. They seem to be enjoying whatever show Jeonghan is putting on for them.Ā
Ah, okay. That tracks. Y/N scoffs, standing to put her book in her bag. āDo I need a reason? Besides, Iām sure there are many others that will fall for the dare or bet that theyāve put you up to.ā
Jeonghan kind of looks like a fish out of water, mouth opening and closing a few times. Heās glancing fast between her and his friends. āWhat? Thatās notā¦āĀ
āSure seems that way,ā she cuts off, trying to keep her voice even, but itās challenging. āAnd youād have to make me a pretty damn good offer to agree. You should tell them to be more subtle if you really want to use this tactic on some poor unsuspecting victim.ā Y/N isnāt sure why she isnāt walking away right now.
Jeonghan is standing now, but he looks totally out of his element, none of his normal confidence and arrogance present. It actually makes her want to smirk, but even she feels a little bad about how loudly his friends are laughing across the quad. Second-hand embarrassment is a very real thing and she was starting to experience it. āHave I done something to you?ā It sounds a little defensive.
Y/N narrows her eyes at him. āIt says something if you have to ask that, Jeonghan. But no, you have not. Iām really just not interested. I have to get to class. Have a good day.ā
She passes by the group of guys and doesnāt make eye contact. Kim Mingyu is there and this really does seem just like the kind of thing heād be involved in. She almost feels sorry for Jeonghan again, but then she remembers the arrogant smirk he usually wears and the way he was confused by the word ānoā. Almost sorry, but not quite. He could stand to be taken down a peg every now and then and Y/N was happy to be the one to do it today.
Jeonghan didnāt wait around to find out just how funny his friends found whatever the fuck just happened. Getting turned down was something he wasnāt used to and his friendsā laughter across the quad just rubbed salt in the wound. Heād also pointedly ignored the group chat for the rest of the day. Even Joshua was being iced out. When Joshua sent Jeonghan a message apologizing outside of the group chat, Jeonghan just gave it a thumbs up and nothing else.Ā
However, by the afternoon he realized he needed to save some face. Y/N may have said no, but many others would say yes. And despite his shock, he had heard what she said back in the quad. His friends would be a detriment to whatever plan he tried because they couldnāt hide their amusement. He sent a single text when he got home and a girl arrived at the apartment he and Seungcheol shared a little after 8pm. When he let her in, he passed by all of his friends in the living room, drinking beer and playing video games. Perfect. Uninvolved in the plan, but present for the show.
Heād picked this girl because sheās loud in bed and seemingly not embarrassed about it. After sex though, he realized that sheās just loud all the time. He decides he canāt ask her to go on a date, much less hang out with her for three months as her boyfriend. He wasnāt sure what she was talking about as he pulled on some clothes, but he interrupted her to tell her he had an 8am class the next day and heād see her out. She took the hint and began getting dressed. There was no 8am, but he wanted whatever this was to end promptly. He also wouldnāt be reaching out to her again.
He was still icing his friends out but Jeonghan was satisfied with the expressions on their faces as he went back to his room after seeing the chatterbox out. They could make comments about his dating habits, or lack thereof, but they couldnāt say he didnāt know what he was doing in every other way. Theyād had to listen to the evidence of it.Ā
That eased his mind until the next day. At lunch, they made it clear they hadnāt forgotten about his rejection the day before. He was thankful that all except for Joshua had a class soon after so his suffering wasnāt prolonged like yesterday. As soon as the others were far enough away, Joshua frowned at Jeonghan. āIām sorry. I told them to let it go, but you know how they are.ā
āUnfortunately, I do,ā Jeonghan mumbled, unable to meet his friendās eyes. He stuffed his hands in his pockets uncomfortably as they start walking.Ā
āFor what it's worth, they set you up anyway.āĀ
Now, that got Jeonghanās attention. āWhat do you mean?ā
āSheās friends with Mingyuās roommate, Wonwoo. They knew sheād shut you down.āĀ
Oh. Now it was making sense. He remembers how smug Seungcheol and Mingyu had looked when theyād spotted Y/N. Jeonghan had met Wonwoo many times over the years. Mingyu and Wonwoo shared a lot of classes and seemed to get along as roommates, but Wonwoo was never very interested in joining them when they went out. Theyād stopped extending the invitation after a while. Mingyu said his roommate would rather be home reading or playing video games anyway.
āAre they close? Y/N and Wonwoo?ā Jeonghan wasnāt totally sure why he was asking. Maybe he wanted to know who she would say yes to, if not him. Heād like to think he checks a lot of boxes for women, but⦠she must be a unique case. Maybe if he knew who she would date, it would make him feel better.Ā
āSeem to be. Mingyu said theyāve known each other for a long time, since they were little I think. Y/Nās apartment is apparently where Wonwoo goes when Mingyu brings guests over.ā Guests, meaning girls - Joshua was just too polite to say it. Jeonghan had a similar system with Seungcheol when he wasnāt trying to prove a point. Basic roommate etiquette and all that.
āDonāt sweat it too much, okay? Itās a single rejection. I donāt condone the bets or dares, you know that, but I know I canāt stop you guys there. There are plenty of other girls on campus if youāre really serious about this. Just be careful.ā With that, Joshua turned towards his class and walked away. Jeonghan was almost late because of how distracted he was.Ā
He had to let go of this if only for his sanity. Joshua was right - it was a single rejection. The only one in his entire high school and college careers. It was a blip on the radar. A small infraction on an otherwise perfect record. It wasnāt like heād have to see her anyway. Heād only had a few classes with her and even if he did have to see her heād just avoid her until he wasnāt feeling so wounded by the whole thing. No big deal. He can breathe easier with that realization.Ā
Whatever high Jeonghan had been riding since Tuesday comes crashing down at approximately 4:30pm on Thursday afternoon. He was almost late to his Tales of Villainy literature class. Though he was on a pre-law track, he was technically an English major and had to fulfill a certain number of literature credit hours to graduate in the spring. Of all the options offered this semester, this one seemed like the most tolerable.Ā
Oh, right. Except that the first person he lays eyes on when he walks into the classroom is none other than Y/N. And the only seat left open is the one directly behind her. He bites back a curse and almost leaves. Heās considering just dropping the class and figuring it out later, but the instructor is already looking at him from the podium, waiting to start. Jeonghan silently sits down in the seat behind her. He knows he canāt drop because heās on a tight schedule to graduate. If Y/N noticed him, she doesnāt show it.Ā
He does his best to focus on what the instructor is saying. What tests and essays there will be. What works theyāll be reading and when. What kind of participation he wants to see in class. Jeonghan prays that all of this is in the syllabus he blankly glances at occasionally because heās taking very little of it in right now.Ā
The truth is he feels like a fucking teenager, because he canāt stop glancing at the girl in front of him. Heās noticing things that heād normally not notice or give much thought to when it comes to girls. Usually, heās looking at their bodies and how much skin he can see, or how theyāre looking at him. Specific features have never mattered much or held his attention because it all feels the same in the end.
So itās totally unfair that heās transfixed by her. The way her hair falls in her face when she leans down to write something with a stupid purple glitter pen. Or the doodling sheās doing in the margins, which mostly consists of a bunch of little suns and moons. Or the smell of her perfume which is some kind of blend of lavender and vanilla. Heās not even admiring her body as much as he normally would, but thatās really nice too. He noticed that earlier in the week when heād approached her.
He wants her in a way that he hasnāt wanted anyone before but his ego is still in recovery and he canāt risk asking her again. Why wasnāt she into him? Was he losing his touch? It occurs to him that maybe heās bordering on obsession like this only because she turned him down. Because she seems unattainable. Thatās something heās never really experienced before, but Jeonghanās been known to like a challenge. It feels kind of like a fatal flaw right now.
He has to get here earlier next week to secure a seat away from her, not only to save his grade but to save his sanity and ego. Fuck the rule that you sit in the seat you picked on the first day for the entire semester. Heād fight someone for it to avoid this kind of spiral weekly. He needed to put a lot of distance between Y/N and himself ASAP.
After three agonizing hours, when the instructor lets them go, Jeonghan is the first one out of his seat, not even bothering to stop to stuff the syllabus thatās wrinkled in his grasp into his backpack. Ā
He thinks about bailing on his plans with his friends to call someone over because he needs some sort of validation right now that he hasnāt lost his touch, but thinks better of it. Heās afraid his friends will see right though the facade. They donāt need to know his ego his hurt this badly that heās driven to hook up with so many people in a week to get over one rejection.Ā
Heād get his validation tomorrow night. Maybe more than once with the way his system was on overdrive. At least then he wouldnāt have to seek it out. Theyād come to him.
Y/N thinks that if she has to hear this song again sheās going to scream. Sheās in her ensuite bathroom with the door closed and she can hear CLās Hello Bitches start for the 23rd time. Yes, sheās been counting. She loves CL, but this is becoming excessive.Ā
She can also hear who is in tune and who is most certainly not. Sheās just about to get her eyeliner right this time when thereās a screech in the other room. Not the type of sound you expect to hear when you know there are six grown men in there.Ā
Swinging the door open, sheās met with the sight of Seungkwan pinning Junhui down by his neck. Soonyoung is scolding them (which is ironic because heās usually at the center of these things) but the other three are totally unfazed. Vernon and Minghao are scrolling on their phones and Wonwoo looks like heās napping (or trying to anyway). āGuys, are there any other songs on this āplaylistā of yours?āĀ
Seungkwan pulls away from Junhui, whose glad for the opportunity to escape. Seungkwan turns his wrath to Y/N. āWhat do you have against this one?ā
āItās one song, Kwan. It shouldnāt count as a playlist,ā Y/N deadpanned.
Seungkwan glares. āYeah, well, your eyeliner sucks.āĀ
āThanks to Junhuiās screeching,ā Y/N sasses, while Junhui scoffs, putting a hand to his chest in offense. They all ignore him and his dramatics.Ā
Minghaoās off the bed in moments though, taking the eyeliner pen from Y/N and pushing her back into the bathroom. āLet me fix it so we can leave. I canāt stand them or this song anymore and I need a drink.ā Minghaoās subsequent glare silences the laugh thatās bubbling up Y/Nās throat. Like the artist he is, Minghaoās efficient with lots of mediums, including eyeliner apparently, and theyāre dragging her out of the apartment in less than five minutes.Ā
This is not their normal Friday night. They usually end up at one of the restaurants down the street until it closes and then they move to Vernon and Y/Nās apartment to crash. Sometimes thereās alcohol, but thereās always more food (despite having their fill at the restaurant), and almost always some form of games.Ā
So it was to everyoneās surprise when Wonwoo announced that his roommate, Mingyu, had insisted they come to a party tonight. Seungkwan, Soonyoung, and Junhui were in immediately. The rest took some convincing and Wonwoo was certainly not going to do it. He left that to his friends that couldnāt wait to get drunk on someone elseās alcohol.Ā
The walk was short and the house was already packed when they arrived. They squeezed through the crowd to the kitchen to get drinks and then went their separate ways. It was likely that theyād all end up back at her apartment anyway, so Y/N wasnāt worried. She runs into Minseo in the kitchen and strikes up a conversation. They were roommates in the dorms until Y/N moved into her own apartment with Vernon and Minseo moved into the sorority house. They were unlikely friends back then and even remained friendly when they ran into each other on campus now.Ā
Minseo was talking about being a big for her sorority this year, something sheād been looking forward to. However, Minseo was cut off by an āOh shit!ā Something splashed onto Y/Nās shoes. She hadnāt looked down but Minseo had. Y/N did not like how her former roommateās face was twisted in disgust right now. Y/N glanced down.
Yep, thatās puke.Ā
āI am so sorry!ā Y/N was convinced that any and all gods hated her, because she recognized that voice. She looked up to find Yoon Jeonghan in front of her with wide, panicked eyes. He was clutching another guy by his sides, seemingly holding him up. āHeās a freshman, he doesnāt know how to handle his alcohol quite yet.āĀ
āItās fine,ā Y/N forced out, trying not to look down at her converse again. Sheād most certainly gag if she did.
The freshman wavered on his feet but this time he made it to the trash can behind Minseo. Jeonghan was no longer clutching the freshman, but now ringing his hands, so uncharacteristic from his usually overwhelming confidence. āLet me wash your shoes for you. My friend lives here, he wonāt mind.āĀ
āNo, no. Thatās not necessary.ā With a grimace, Y/N dropped her drink into the trash can when the freshman came up for air. She tried not to look at Jeonghan and instead looked at Minseo. āIām going to head home.āĀ
āAt least let me walk you home. Itās late,ā Jeonghan cut in, face pinched with anxiety.Ā
Y/N waved her hand as she stepped back. āNo, thatās not necessary either. Itās not far.ā The freshman had his head in the trashcan again. āI think he needs you more right now, anyway.ā
She didnāt wait for an answer and quickly exited the house. As she walked, she pulled out her phone and sent a message to the group chat that she was leaving. They all had her location so theyād know when she made it home if they were worried.
The August air was stagnant and humid, making the smell on her shoes so much worse. She grimaced again. This was why she didnāt go to these types of things. Minseo and a few of the guys regularly tried to get her out of the house, but this was just not her vibe. Tonight was just more evidence of that. She had terrible luck with these things.
A rhythmic sound was getting louder behind her. For a moment, she prayed that Yoon Jeonghan hadnāt followed her to walk her home like heād been insisting. She was beyond relieved when she heard a more welcomed voice. āHey, what happened?ā Wonwoo asked as he slowed next to her. He must have caught a whiff of what had happened because he did a quick scan of her before landing on her shoes and muttering, āEw. Dude, thatās gross.ā
āI know,ā she scoffed. āGo back to the party. Mingyu wanted you there.āĀ
Wonwoo began walking with her, ignoring her command. He shrugged, āI showed up and spoke to him. Thatās more than he usually gets. What happened to you though? You didnāt answer.ā
āSome freshman that couldnāt handle his alcohol apparently. Thatās the shortest visit weāve ever made to a party and thatās saying something.ā Wonwoo laughed at Y/Nās words and thankfully it diffused some of her tension.Ā
āYeah, a whopping twenty minutes.āĀ
Wonwoo was the brave one when it came time to deal with Y/Nās shoes upon arriving to the apartment. She slid them off along with her socks at the door and Wonwoo carefully picked them up by the least gross parts. Never mind that he sprinted for the washing machine with a scream. He said it was so he wouldnāt breath in and smell it. Y/N thought that was pretty valid.
When the others arrived at the apartment a few hours later, they found Y/N and Wonwoo on opposite sides of the couch, one reading and one playing video games. They joined in seamlessly, grabbing snacks from the kitchen to sober up. She appreciated that they didnāt ask why she left early. The last thing she wanted to talk about was anything in reference to Yoon Jeonghan.Ā
Itās been nearly a week and Jeonghan is still not talking to Chan. He pretends like he doesnāt hear him when he talks. Heās getting really good at it.Ā
At first it confused Chan, particularly when there was no one else in the room with them in Jihoonās trashed kitchen on Saturday morning. It goes on so long that a hung over Chan starts to wonder if heās invisible. Can that happen? Heās never drank this much before. Heās starting to worry about weird genetic mutations or that maybe heās a ghost now. However, Seungcheol greets him when he enters the kitchen. So that settles it. Not invisible. Jeonghanās just mad.
It takes the entirety of Saturday and Sunday, and the first half of Monday before Joshua finally steps in to counsel them and try to solve the issue at hand. All of them have a soft spot for Chan and donāt like seeing him so dejected. It turns out Chan remembers very little of the party so he doesnāt even know what to apologize for, though he keeps offering blanket apologies. So, Jeonghan tells the story in excruciating detail. Mingyu is downright elated by it. Seungcheol and Jihoon try to bite back their laughs and turn away. Chan is completely mortified and says heās swearing off drinking for good. Joshua canāt fix this, heās decided, but he feels a lot of sympathy for Chan. After all, they were all once freshman and did some stupid things. So he tries to fix it anyway. Ā
He fails.Ā
Then food magically starts appearing in front of Jeonghan randomly. First itās a burger and fries that Chan treats him to on Monday night when they all go out. Then itās coffee and a muffin on Tuesday morning. When they go out for beers on Wednesday, Chan buys everything Jeonghan drinks, but Chan doesnāt partake even though this college bar is known to overlook a little underaged drinking now and then. Thursday, Jeonghan finally puts a stop to it because Chan must be spending a small fortune for a college student on this apology. He accepts the coffee Chan hands him and says, āOkay, enough.ā
Chanās eyes are hopeful and Jeonghan hates how much he loves the kid. He really does seem to feel bad. āIām forgiven?ā
Jeonghan nods. āYes. Please pace yourself next time though.āĀ
āOf course,ā Chan nods eagerly. āI do not want to feel like that again. Have you talked to her since?ā
The question catches Jeonghan off guard. Heās relieved itās just him and Chan today. He really wants his friends to forget about her entirely because every time she comes up itās kind of like theyāre twisting the knife. āUh, no. Iām trying not to see or talk to her, which might become a bit of a challenge at 4:30 today. I have a class with her.ā
āOh,ā Chan deflates. āMaybe I should apologize? I know you said you did, but⦠maybe it wasnāt well-received.ā
āYeah, because she had puke on her shoes,ā Jeonghan half scoffs, half laughs.
āSureā¦ā Chan looks like he wants to say something more and Jeonghan raises an eyebrow. āThat has something to do with it, Iām sure⦠But⦠Okay, Iām not telling you this to bother you about it. I know youād wish weād drop it. But the others are really enjoying how much she seems to not like you. Something about karma.ā Chan gives a shrug because he isnāt sure what else to do.Ā
āKarma about what?ā Jeonghan bit, anger rising. If feels like all of this has been so far out of his control that itās not fair. What has he done to deserve this?
Chan wouldnāt make eye contact with Jeonghan. āYou know Iām new, so I donāt know specifics. But something about how you deserve to be shut down every now and then. That your body count borders on too much.ā
Jeonghan canāt help but scoff. āLiterally all of them except for Joshua have a high body count. Theyāre not totally innocent either. Besides, the whole concept of body count is stupid.ā
āYeah, itās been pointed out,ā Chan said cryptically. āAnyway, Iāll apologize if you think it will help. Just let me know.ā
Jeonghan debates on whether to stick to his plan of avoidance throughout the rest of the day. When he arrives to his lit class, he makes the impulsive decision to sit behind Y/N again. He cares more than heād like to admit that she seems to hate him. Itās one thing if he deserves it - if heās done something to her, then he thinks he could accept this and move on like he has many times with many other girls. But he hasnāt really done anything to her besides ask her out and itās starting to eat him alive, especially when he thinks about how she said no before she realized heād been dared to do it. And the party on Friday was just a comedy of errors. Maybe there was a little irony in the fact that, out of all the people at that party, it was her shoes that Chan threw up on.Ā
Sheās reading when he slides into the seat behind her. When sheās finished a chapter, he taps her on the shoulder. She closes the book around her fingers, turning in her seat. Her expression, like it was in their last two interactions, doesn't give much away except that sheād already like the conversation to be over already. It pains Jeonghan to see because itās not the reception that he usually gets.
āI wanted to say Iām sorry about Friday.ā
Y/N blinks. He hates how big and pretty her eyes are, even when sheās definitely not happy to see him. āYou said that already. I told you itās fine.ā Her voice is totally flat and he really wishes he could read her mind. Maybe then he could find a way to fix this. They donāt have to be friends by any means, but something other than her total disinterest would be nice.Ā
āI know, I just -ā He doesnāt know where to go with this. He swallows roughly. Heās expecting her to turn away, but she doesnāt, placing the book in her lap now. Thereās something patient in her expression that confuses him, but heāll take advantage of it. āItās occurred to me that I havenāt left the best impression, not just once, but twice now.ā
She laughs, but thereās something humorless about it and it makes his lips turn down a little more. āMore than twice, but Iād have to agree with that.ā
Heās not sure what heās done before this semester, doesnāt remember a single interaction with her before all this. āIād like us to forget it if we can. Start over, if you will.ā Heās not sure why heās saying this or why itās so important to him. Heās never cared much about his interactions with women outside of before, during, and after sex. Itās clear that none of that is going to happen here.
She seems to be thinking and it feels like she can see right through him. He squirms in his seat, not used to feeling so exposed. Usually, heās the one reading people, not the other way around. And he canāt read her - not when he asked her out, not at the party, and not now. Finally, she smiles but thereās kind of an evil look in her eyes. āIāll think about it. Iām still mad that you pissed on my car.āĀ
Jeonghanās jaw drops, breath catching in his throat, but he canāt get a word in because the instructor has swept into the room and Y/N is already turning around in her seat. He drops his head in his hands and suppresses a groan. This class is the longest three hours of his life.Ā
Itās nearly dark when class ends. Jeonghan stuffs his things in his bag quickly, but his movements are hurried and messy and Y/N is already walking out of the classroom. He calls her name as he exits the building. He kind of expects her to ignore him, but she stops, halfway turning to glance at him. She kind of looks smug and he doesnāt know how to take it. He halts next to her. āIām so sorry. I had no idea it was your car.āĀ
Y/N looks away and starts walking again and Jeonghan is trailing behind her now. āDo you have a habit of doing that when you go out drinking?āĀ
The question is conversational, casual even. Jeonghan feels awkward and kind of wishes sheād just yell at him. āUh, no. Itās not a habit of mine.ā He doesnāt know if heās relieved or not when she looks mildly amused.
āYou seem nervous.ā Another casual statement.
Jeonghan stuffs his hands in the pocket of his jeans and he watches in real-time as she clocks the defensive pose. Yeah, sheās definitely amused. Heās noticed sheās incredibly perceptive. He feels like an open book to her. āIām not used to making this much of a fool out of myself. Iām usually much smoother than this.ā He admits it because she probably knows it already anyway.Ā
āOh, I know. Your reputation is well-known around here. Quite the heartbreaker.ā She says it so evenly that it somehow hurts worse than the anger that he gets from other women. Itās like itās a fact. Jeonghan guesses it is and it makes him deflate.Ā
āIs⦠that why you said no?ā The question leaves a very bitter taste in his mouth. He doesnāt know why he fucking cares. Itās just one girl, why is she worming her way into his brain like this, making him feel so insecure?
Thereās curiosity in her eyes when she glances up at him. āPerhaps. It didnāt help that youād obviously been put up to it.ā
Jeonghan huffs. āYeah, that probably looked bad, didnāt it?ā Heād been so stressed about getting his lick back lately that heād kind of forgotten how fast sheād put all the puzzle pieces together.Ā
āOh, yeah,ā she laughed, but this time it wasnāt so humorless. Heās so surprised that sheās not mad because she has every right to be. He doesnāt know what to say. āThis is my stop,ā she said, pointing to the library behind her. āLook, I donāt know what all that was about, and I donāt really want to know. But consider that maybe your friends are just dicks if theyāre putting you up to something like that. Even you might deserve better friends, Yoon Jeonghan.āĀ
She wishes him goodnight with a wave and his frown is so deep that even Seungcheol notices when he arrives home. Jeonghan brushes it off, almost feeling bad when Seungcheol presses again later that night, asking if everything is okay. Jeonghan remembers what Joshua and Chan said about the whole thing being a set up and how much they were enjoying it. Hell, it had even occurred to him that her presence at the party was a set up too, now that he knew Mingyuās roommate was one of her friends. It would be so easy to invite Wonwoo and tell him to bring his friends as a courtesy.
No, he wouldnāt be talking to any of them about Y/N anytime soon. The sooner they all forget about this whole thing, the better.
The weeks start to fly by as the semester gets underway officially. Jeonghan is taking more than a full load of classes because he plans to do an internship next semester that will take up most of his time. This is something that he begrudgingly planned for last semester, but is really thankful for now. Thereās a predictable pattern to his life. Class, homework, hang out with friends, go to parties on Friday and Saturday night and maybe take someone home. Heās not even doing that last part as often as he once did. He keeps thinking about his friendsā words at the beginning of the semester and when he does hook up with someone heās left feeling less than satisfied. He's never realized how empty the whole thing is, but now that he does he canāt unsee it.
The only other deviation from this plan is the occasional conversation with Y/N in their shared lit class.Ā
No, he hasnāt moved seats. No, he doesnāt plan to anytime soon. No, he doesnāt want to talk about it.Ā
Thatās what he tells Joshua after his friend spots Jeonghan and Y/N leaving their class together. They've taken to idly chatting as he walks with her to the library on his way to his own destination. Heās thankful it was Joshua that saw it and that his friend was willing to let it go. Joshua also must have kept it to himself because none of his other friends said anything. Theyād seemingly forgotten about Y/N.Ā
Which was perfect because he doesnāt want to talk about how many times heās been embarrassing himself in front of her.Ā
In September, his printer crapped out and the ancient professor that he was writing a paper for insisted on paper copies, even though the school offered a perfectly good online submission option. So Jeonghan found himself at the library late on Thursday night. Yes, he knew Y/N was working because heād walked her there earlier that night. No, he didnāt want to talk about it. He especially didnāt want to talk about how he broke the printer and had to approach Y/N to admit it. If he hadnāt have needed that paper printed for first thing in the morning, he would have ran for it and come back another time. Y/N assured him that this particular printer was always on the fritz and offered to print it for him at the reference desk, but there was something sly in her expression when she handed him a stack of warm papers neatly stapled together. Itās like she knew he was taking a hit to his pride by having to ask her of all people, despite the positive interactions that they had sometimes.Ā
In mid-October, he found out she actually lived in the same apartment building as him. He found that out because he had been dared to wear his halloween costume (Spiderman to be exact) to check the mail. No good reason, just because. He usually had no shame, so whatās the worst that could happen? He found out the worst is seeing Y/N coming down the hallway. He ducked into the elevator as soon as it opened and repeatedly pressed the Close Door button, hoping to avoid the whole thing. However, Y/N not only saw him, but how aggressively he was pressing the button as she slid into the elevator. He realized he wasnāt wearing his mask and she was biting back a smirk. āDonātā¦ā he muttered, his eyes closed tight. She stayed silent throughout the whole interaction, letting him retain what little pride he had left. Heās not even sure why heās so embarrassed because heās done way more ridiculous things in far more public settings just for a laugh. Jeonghan returned to his apartment with none of his usual bravado when he completed a dare.Ā
In early November, Jeonghan decided he wanted to make ramen at 3am. Writing a paper had worked up an appetite. Heād made ramen a thousand times in his college career. What he hadnāt done before is set off the fire alarm in the apartment complex. As he stood in the parking lot watching the fire department sweep the building, he heard Y/N grumbling to her roommate how annoying this was because she had an 8am class. If heād had his keys, he would have gone to hide in his car. Or maybe leave.Ā
Yeah, maybe just leave. Seungcheol could handle the rent, right?
And then there were the times that Y/N of all people had caught him in compromising positions with girls. The first was when an acquaintance of Seungcheolās that lives in the same building hosted a party. Heās making out with a girl in the hallway. Heās not sure why he didnāt just take her up to his own apartment down the hall, but the thought hadnāt occur to him immediately. Heād just pushed her out of the apartment and against the wall in the hallway and she let him. Heās almost got his hand under this girlās shirt when he hears something alarmingly similar to Y/Nās voice from the other end of the hallway. It snaps him out of whatever lust-filled haze he was in and she and her friends pass by them in the hallway. He knows sheās seen him and what he was doing - the eye roll gives it away. The girl asks him to take her somewhere more private and he does, but heās a little distracted for the rest of the night.Ā
The second time is at the library of all places. Heās been paired with a girl from one of his classes to work on an assignment and theyāve agreed to work in the library. Heād normally suggest working somewhere more private, but heās not terribly attracted to his project partner. Sheās fine, heās just not that interested. However, the project is painfully dull and when she suggests that they sneak off for a few minutes he agrees automatically. He lets her suck him off in one of the dark corners of the stacks. Despite not being very attracted to her, sheās decent and he enjoys it enough to come. He also doesnāt mind the thrill of a little exhibitionism from time to time. His blood runs cold when theyāre walking back to their table and Y/N is in the next aisle over, reshelving some books off a rolling cart. He has no idea how much sheās seen or heard. She doesnāt look at him, but sheās shaking her head. He decides he canāt stick around and makes an excuse that heās forgotten something and he needs to leave.Ā
The most recent run-in is at another party, this time at a sorority house. Heās snuck off to the bathroom with one of the sorority girls and heās got her sitting on the sink. Her hand is in his pants and his fingers are in her panties buried deep inside her when thereās a knock on the door and it opens. None other than Y/N is standing there. He pulls away from the girl quickly, but the girlās hand is still very much in his pants and he knows Y/N has seen all of it anyway. He starts to apologize so they can let her have the bathroom, but Y/N is already waving him off with another eye roll and closing the door behind her. He makes an excuse to the girl and doesnāt end up taking anyone home that night.
And after all that, luck was especially not on his side when their lit instructor announced that theyād be pairing up with someone for their final presentation. This was both a blessing and a curse. Someone to share the responsibility for the bulk of your grade, but also⦠someone to let you down on the bulk of your grade. Jeonghan also couldnāt decide if it was a blessing and a curse that the instructor paired him up with Y/N. She didnāt object and heās too mortified by 90% of the interactions he's ever had with her, so he kept his mouth shut and accepted her invitation to meet, pick a book, and lay out a plan. She was a good student so he could at least bank on a good grade. Heād have to get a grip if he was going to survive this project though.
Yet another thing that he did not want to talk about with his friends.Ā
Itās Wednesday afternoon in early November when Jeonghan slides into the seat across from Y/N. Theyāve agreed to meet in a coffee shop just off campus. When Y/N recommended it, Jeonghan simply shrugged and asked for the time.
āSorry, I got caught up after class. You havenāt been waiting long, have you?ā Jeonghan asked. His face was pinched with the usual concern - usual only because she kept seeing it when he looked at her over the course of this semester. It was very different from the arrogant grin he usually wore, and somewhere deep down (deep, deep, deep down), she was wondering if sheād been too harsh on him or misjudged him. He seemed to wear a mask sometimes and she could see right through it because she liked to wear one too.Ā
Either that, or he was the greatest actor in the world. Maybe this new face of concern was a facade to get her to let her guard down so he could still win whatever bet his friends had issued. But it didnāt seem like it. He hadnāt broached any topic that indicated he had an ulterior motive since the first day of class. Anyway, even if it was all an act, she kind of liked watching him squirm.Ā
āNot long. What do you want to drink? Iāll go get it,ā Y/N said, prepared to stand up.Ā
Jeonghan immediately objected. āOh, no. Donāt worry about it. Iāll get it in a minute.ā
āNo, really,ā Y/N chuckled. āI know the barista. Just tell me what you want.ā
He reluctantly gave his order and she smiled as she left the table, satisfied that heād folded so quickly.Ā
Minghao was standing behind the register with an eyebrow raised when she approached the counter. He leaned over the register to whisper to her. āYoon Jeonghan? Whatās that about?āĀ
āWeāre paired for a project. Can I add another drink to my tab?ā Y/N gave her sweetest smile. Minghaoās lips pursed like he was unimpressed, but there was a hint of amusement in his eyes.Ā
āYour tab is becoming alarmingly long, you know that right? The boss doesnāt even want us to offer tabs to friends.ā Nevertheless, he took the drink order and began making it. While he was at it, they were discussing plans for the upcoming weekend. Junhui was performing in a play on Saturday and all of his friends had agreed to show up in support - not that he could keep them away. They hadnāt seen much of Junhui in the past few weeks as heād been rehearsing nonstop, but everyone was really proud of him. They were planning to cheer and clap so loudly it embarrassed him, give him flowers, and treat him to dinner and drinks afterwards.Ā
When Y/N put the drink in front of Jeonghan, he looked like he was ready to go with his laptop and a printout of the approved books for the project. She was pleasantly surprised by this since he never seemed to take classes too seriously. Sometimes he didnāt even bother to get out a pen or paper or even open his laptop to take notes. She just hoped heād open the damn book that they picked out because she had never seen him read a single page with her own eyes.
Still, she was pleasantly surprised again at how involved he was with their selection process. They agreed on The Monk, mostly because they both liked the challenge. Not many people were picking something from the 1700s if they could help it and their selection would show some initiative to their instructor. Heād even agreed to a reading schedule and regular meetings. She tried to remind herself that every time she got caught up in how cute he was when he focused, or how intently he seemed to be listening, that this was the man that pissed on her car in the beginning of the semester. And asked her out on a bet or dare. And whose friend puked on her shoes. And⦠you get the idea.
Somehow she didnāt feel all that angry about a lot of it anymore. Weird.
Thatās why when he began chatting idly about other things outside of the project, she didnāt shut him down. She told him about her plans for Junhuiās play this weekend and he told her heād been applying to internships for next semester without much luck. She surprised herself by volunteering to review his applications and resume. He looked really cute when he was surprised by the offer and she bit her tongue to keep from further trapping herself. Being friendly with Yoon Jeonghan was something she was still conflicted about.
āCan I ask you something?ā Jeonghan asked hesitantly when conversation lapsed. Y/N shrugged. āYou said you know the barista?ā
Y/N nodded. āYeah, his name is Minghao. Weāve been friends since freshman year.ā
Jeonghan hummed and something smug filled his expression. āMhm. So how long have you liked him then?ā
Y/N choked on air. āWhat? What are you talking about?ā
Jeonghan laughed, shaking his head. āI saw you bat your pretty eyes and smile for a free drink - thank you by the way. Thatās so unlike you. I mean, all I get are blank stares most of the time and Iād like to think Iām quite charming.āĀ
āItās not like that,ā Y/N insists, but it was weak at best. Her face feels hot.
āThereās nothing wrong if it is like that,ā Jeonghan assured. It appeared to be genuine, encouraging even.Ā
āItāsā¦ā Y/N trailed off, avoiding eye contact as she tried to find the words. Whatever explanation she was trying to conjure up fizzled out when the door to the cafe opened. āOh god.ā She dropped her head into her hands.Ā
Jeonghan swung to look in the same direction. āWhose that?ā He glanced back at her. Heād always thought he might enjoy seeing Y/N in a way that wasnāt so composed after all the times heād made a fool of himself in front of her. And he did enjoy teasing her about her little crush on the barista. Heād never thought heād see her blush and it was pretty cute. However, this was different because she looked down right mortified. Not cute. Heās feeling protective all of the sudden for no good reason. āUh, heās walking over.ā He watches the mask snap back into place so fast that he gets whiplash. She had just looked like she wanted the ground to open up and swallow her whole, but now her face is totally impassive.Ā
āY/N!ā The guy is now standing in front of their table, a bright smile on his face.Ā
The smile Y/N returns is friendly enough but it doesnāt meet her eyes. āSeokmin, how are you? Iām surprised to see you here.ā Jeonghan thinks that she really meant something along the lines of āwhat the fuck are you doing hereā instead. Seokmin clearly did not know that.
āOh, you know I couldnāt miss Junhuiās first leading role. I had some time off and decided to come and visit.ā Seokmin is still smiling brightly and Jeonghan knows now that heās not a fan. Heās seen Y/N looked totally unimpressed, primarily at Jeonghan, but this is different. Thereās a flash of anxiety on her face that unsettles him. This guyās done something wrong and he hopes sheāll stick up for herself. He wants a front row seat to it and he doesnāt even know what Seokminās done.
Y/Nās smile is tight. āThatās great. Iām sure heāll be thrilled you made the trip.ā
Maybe Seokmin is finally picking up on the tension because the thousand-watt smile dims a bit. She hadnāt said she was happy to see him, just that Junhui would be. Seokmin turns to Jeonghan, sticking out his hand. āLee Seokmin.ā
Jeonghan turns on the charm, giving his best smile and gripping Seokminās hand tight as they shake. āYoon Jeonghan.ā He isnāt sure what Seokmin is thinking when he glances back and forth between Y/N and Jeonghan, but Jeonghan kind of hopes that in some twisted way he thinks theyāre together. Heās trying to put out the vibes of a possessive boyfriend, mostly so Seokmin will stop looking at Y/N because itās clearly making her uncomfortable. Sheās shrunk in her seat and crossed her arms, making herself look small.
Seokminās about to say something when Minghao comes out of the back and yells his name. Seokminās easily distracted and as soon as heās away from the table, it takes half a second of eye contact before Jeonghan and Y/N are packing up their stuff, making a show of looking at the time and saying theyāre late for something.
Once theyāre out of the coffee shop and around the corner, Jeonghan pulls her to a halt by the elbow because sheās practically sprinting. āWhat exactly was that about?āĀ
He doesnāt ask if sheās okay because her distress is crystal clear. Now that sheās out of the cafe, she looks like she might cry. āItās kind of a long story.ā Thereās a choked quality to her voice that tugs at his heart strings. He canāt explain that. Heās seen plenty of women cry, usually because of him, and itās never really bothered him before.Ā
āI have time,ā Jeonghan shrugs, trying to appear nonchalant, but heās floored that sheās not shutting him down and walking away right now. Y/Nās mouth opens and closes a few times before she finally pouts. He doesnāt even think sheās aware sheās doing it but he still suppresses the urge to squish her face because of how cute she looks. He doesnāt think that sheād like for anyone to do that, much less him. āHow about this? Itās nearly dinner time. Letās go get something besides coffee and you can tell me about it.ā She looks hesitant, probably remembering the first day of classes, so he tacks on, āNo ulterior motives, I promise. You just look like you need to talk to someone about it. Iāll even pay.ā
He lets her order her chicken tenders, fries, and milkshake before he starts asking questions, mostly because heās surprised sheās still sitting across from him and the promise of food on the way might make her stay. The whole walk to the diner near their apartment complex, he had half expected for her to make a run for it.Ā
āIām not sure where to start.ā Thereās a helpless tone to how she admits this and Jeonghan hates it. Sheās usually so sure of herself and he already hates Lee Seokmin for the effect he seems to have on her.
āLetās start with Seokmin.ā The waitress delivers their milkshakes and Jeonghan patiently waits while Y/N jabs the straw into her cup and starts twisting and crumbling the straw wrapper.Ā
āWe dated. For a long time actually, since high school. We even picked this school so we could go together because it had both of the programs we were interested in. Heās a theatre major, you know? Well, was. Was a theatre major. Last year, out of the blue he announced that heād landed a role and heād be moving right away for it. I hadnāt even known he was auditioning for anything that wasnāt local. He broke up with me because he thought he wouldnāt have time for me and left three days later. Back at the cafe is the first time Iāve seen or spoken to him since.ā
Y/N looks so dejected as she grabs Jeonghanās straw wrapper because hers is totally mangled now. He kind of wishes heād hit Lee Seokmin rather than shake his hand. āHow long were you together?ā
ā6 years, almost 7.ā The pout is back and Jeonghanās beginning to heat with anger. What a waste that time was for her.
āIām⦠sorry. Thatās so shitty. I canāt imagine it.ā
āKind of hoped he wouldnāt come back. That maybe heād be so successful abroad that heād never need to. Is that wrong of me?āĀ
Jeonghan scoffed. āWrong of you to wish him success even though he broke your heart to achieve it? Maybe. Something isnāt right about that.ā Heās aware immediately of how hypocritical what he just said is. Earlier this semester he asked her out on a bet, fully intending to date her for three months and then dump her to cash in on the $300 he was promised. He squashed the thought because now wasnāt the time. He needs to get that pout off her lips right now. He kind of hates that the only way he can think of to do it is to bring up Minghao. She was so much lighter when she ordered Jeonghanās drink from him. āHow does Minghao fit into all this?ā
The pout lifts a bit. āMinghao was one of the first friends I made in my freshman year here. I took an art class for one of my general education requirements and he was in it. Iām not an artist. But he was kind about it even though heās a much better artist than me and even helped me fix a lot of my work so I could pass. Last year, when Seokmin left, Minghao was still kind, even though Seokmin was his friend too. He didnāt look at me with pity like a lot of the others did.ā Abruptly, she throws down the second mangled straw wrapper, crossing her arms across her chest. āThat probably sounds stupid, doesn't it?ā
āNo!ā Y/Nās eyes flare at Jeonghanās rather passionate answer and Jeonghan tries to backpedal. āI mean⦠I know I donāt set a great example when it comes to this stuff. God only knows my friends wonāt let me live it down. But I can sympathize. You put your heart and soul into someone for nearly 7 years and then he up and leaves at the first sign of a greater opportunity without so much as asking what you want? That would hurt anyone. Itās also totally reasonable to have a soft spot for someone that helped you when you needed it after all that.ā
Heās avoided looking at her during his whole speech, but when he does he knows what heās looking at because heās already seen it a couple times tonight. Sheās biting her lip and her eyes look unusually wet. Heās about to apologize when she says, āYou surprise me, Yoon Jeonghan.ā
āI do?ā Jeonghan asked, confused.
Whatever emotion she was showing clears and she nods firmly. āYes. Every time I think I have you figured out, it seems Iām wrong. Youāre pretty thoughtful when you want to be.ā
He doesnāt have the heart to tell her that heās not like this with most people, not by a long shot. The waitress brings their food and heās thankful for the distraction. Heās nearly done with his burger when Y/N speaks again.
āWhat were they going to pay you if I said yes?āĀ
Jeonghan is sure he knows exactly what sheās talking about but he prays heās misunderstanding. He tries to play dumb. āHuh?ā
āYou said your friends never let you live down your reputation. I saw them that day that you asked me out. What was the prize if I said yes?āĀ
He stalls out of for a long moment and Y/N waits patiently. āYou wonāt be mad?āĀ
āNo. It was obvious there was an ulterior motive the moment you approached me. Weāve had classes together for years and you never even glanced at me.āĀ
He thinks that wasnāt totally true but he doesn't correct her because he doesnāt think it would change anything. She appears to be honest about not being mad so he clears his throat. āOne of my friends, Joshua, is in a relationship and very happy. I donāt know how it ended up here, but they all agreed I was basically incapable of dating like that, or at all really. They wouldnāt let it go and it bothered me. I felt like I had something to prove to them.āĀ
āHow much?ā This time she was pressing. His throat burned because it occurred to him why Joshua didnāt condone the betting and dares in the first place. Telling her she was worth $300 and some bragging rights to him made him feel ashamed now, especially with how sheād just opened up to him. But he answered her anyway. To her credit, she barely blinks. āAnd you picked me?ā
āThey did.ā Jeonghan feels like heās swallowing acid. He wonders if she thinks he finds her unattractive or that he never would have picked her if it had been up to him. That bothers him for reasons unknown.
āSo they set you up then.ā Jeonghan must have looked surprised because Y/N continues. āMingyu knows I donāt like his habits. It runs Wonwoo out of his apartment constantly and hurts a lot of feelings. Because of your reputation, and your association with Mingyu, they had to know what I would say.ā
Jeonghanās positively dejected now. He slumps in his seat, crossing his arms. āYeah, I guess so.ā He looks out of the window to avoid her eyes because sheās doing that thing again where she looks right through him and he feels too raw now.
āIt really does bother you, doesn't it? You donāt think you could do it if it was with the right person?ā
āMaybe not,ā Jeonghan mumbles bitterly. āI havenāt even gone a date since I was a sophomore in high school and my fucking mom drove me to it.ā His laugh is so hollow as he wipes his hands down his face in frustration. He doesnāt know why heās admitting this. He expects to see pity in her face but her expression is not completely impassive or unkind. āSounds kind of pathetic, really, especially admitting it to someone like you, whose been in a very long relationship. I know how to hook up but I know next to nothing about dating.ā
He canāt look at her and he kind of expects her to leave. Kind of wishes she would so he could go crawl in a hole in peace. āJeonghan.ā He looks up reluctantly and is terribly confused when sheās smirking and her eyes look a little chaotic. āAsk me again.ā
Jeonghanās brain shuts off like someoneās pulled the power cord to it. All thoughts flicker out. āWhat?ā It comes out more like a hiss.Ā
But sheās still blinking her pretty eyes at him and now sheās nodding encouragingly. āWe can prove them wrong, easy. Ask me again.ā
He shakes his head, hoping itāll help him make sense of this. āYou want to help me win a bet by pretending to date me.āĀ
She shrugs. āSure. I have a little experience, so I can help make it convincing.āĀ
He knows sheās trying to make a joke about Seokmin, but he feels like he might pass out. āWhy would you do that? What do you get out of it? And what about Minghao? Seokmin? What about my horrible reputation?ā
āI care very little about your reputation actually,ā she says firmly. āWeād have to establish some ground rules anyway if you want some image rehabilitation out of this. Seokmin is a non-issue because I donāt want anything to do with him anymore, and Iām positive that things with Minghao wonāt be going anywhere. Besides, I kind of hate Mingyu. Iād like to make him eat his words.ā
After a beat, Jeonghan barks a short laugh in disbelief. āYouāre insane.ā Itās not an insult because heās beginning to smile.Ā
Y/N sticks her hand out to him across the table, a satisfied smirk across her face. He likes the mischief in her eyes. Itās actually a huge turn on. āHi, Iām Y/N.ā
Now heās wearing a huge grin. His hand encapsulates hers and they shake. āIām Jeonghan. Nice to meet you. Would you like to go on a date with me?ā
Act TwoĀ
Jeonghan was in charge of the first step of this plan. He needed to tell his friends that he had a date. He kind of wanted to straight up brag about it. Yes, theyād teased him mercilessly about Y/Nās initial rejection, but look who finally came around. He knows the bragging would be effective. It would make every competitive bone in Seungcheol and Mingyuās body ache. He can imagine that theyād all try to start dating too just to prove a point. They canāt be shown up by Jeonghan.Ā
But Jeonghan is surprised when Y/N pitches another idea and itās absolutely devious. She suggests being so casual that it makes them feel guilty. Now, he hadnāt expected her to have such a manipulative streak, and heās still more confused at this vendetta she seems to have against his friends, Mingyu in particular. But the more he thinks about it, the more satisfying he thinks her recommendation will be. Heās also incredibly turned on by the way sheās willing to play these mind games. Sheās undoubtedly the best person to pull this stunt with.
After their shared night class on Thursday, Jeonghan slid into the booth at the bar. He runs a little late on purpose. Heās not sure if Chan remembers, but heās already let it slip that he has a class with Y/N on Thursdays. It would be nice if he remembers that after Jeonghanās announcement and puts two and two together, but itās not necessary for the successor this step.
His friends were a few drinks deep already and discussing some baseball game that was on TV when he arrives. Jeonghan has a couple beers himself before the right opportunity finally presented itself. āYou guys going to the Kappa party tomorrow night?āĀ
The others agree to Seungcheolās question automatically. Jeonghan glances at his roommate casually before looking back at the TV. He casually sips his beer. āIāll pass.ā
āWhat?! You never miss it. Whatās better than a Kappa party?ā Seungcheol laughs like Jeonghan is totally unserious.Ā
Casual. No big deal, just like Y/N recommended. āI have a date. Maybe next time.ā
Jeonghanās words are intentionally flat and he enjoys the silence in the booth, knowing itās the calm before the storm. You can hear a pin drop in their little corner booth, which is crazy because itās Thirsty Thursday in a campus bar.Ā
āIām sorry? Can you say that again?ā Jihoon speaks, confusion obvious.Ā
Jeonghan finally meets his friends eyes. He suppresses the satisfaction at their shock, pulling his best Y/N impression to keep his face blank. āI have a date.ā
āWith who?!ā Mingyu cries.
āWhen did this happen? I didnāt even know you were interested in anyone.ā Seungcheol looked seriously offended.
Jeonghan and Y/N had agreed that this would be the best part. It would look like not even she was impervious to his charms, heād just needed some extra time for her to warm up to him. He glanced back at the TV again. āY/N. I asked her out earlier this week.āĀ
Man, were they right. A glass clattered to the table. A gasp. Finally, a loud, āHow in the fuck,ā from Mingyu.Ā
āY/N, the girl that brutally shot you down earlier this semester? Wonwooās friend?ā Seungcheol clarified.Ā
Jeonghan did everything to keep his face passive and relaxed. Like he was long over it. āBrutal is a strong word. She was actually pretty polite about it.ā That part was true. Sheād said āno thank youā when she could have said āno way in hellā.
āThen how did we get here? Did you bribe her or something?ā Mingyu accused. āThat would definitely go against the bet.ā
Ah, another thing they had anticipated. After some discussion, they both agreed Jeonghan wouldnāt need to bring up the bet. His friends would do it for him in one way or another. After even more consideration, theyād also agreed that the bet didnāt matter. Jeonghan didnāt want the money, primarily because it would involve Y/N and heād come to respect her too much over the semester. Even if he did take it, Y/N refused to accept any of it for her role. Plus, Jeonghan rejecting the bet would send a clear message.
āWe have a class together and we got to know each other some. And no, I didnāt bribe her. I donāt give a fuck about the bet,ā Jeonghan says evenly.Ā
Across from him in the booth, Mingyu and Seungcheol look at each other before frowning. They hadnāt expected this and Jeonghan had been banking on that. It felt so satisfying and he already couldnāt wait to tell Y/N how well this was going.Ā
Jihoon claps him on the shoulder. āThatās nice, man. I hope it goes well. Youāll have to tell us about it later.ā He seems to mean it too.
Chan looks relieved. āSo I donāt need to apologize for puking on her shoes?āĀ
Jeonghan barks a laugh. He loves this kid. āNo, her shoes cleaned up okay.ā
Joshua is grinning. āI knew itād work out. What are you doing for your date?āĀ
Jeonghan isnāt sure how to take that first part but he doesnāt have much time to think about it because Joshua, Jihoon, and Chan are peppering him with questions. He feels stupidly happy when he answers them, losing the cool, unaffected exterior that he had before. Theyāve never been so encouraging. Seungcheol and Mingyu are the ones that are usually cheering him on. But this is different isnāt it? His two friends across from him stay quiet for the rest of the night. It seems like they donāt know what to say.Ā
His two friends are so quiet that it isnāt until Jeonghan is getting ready for his ādateā on Friday that one of them approaches him. Heās brushing his teeth when Seungcheol leans against the doorframe of his bathroom. āSo, youāre really doing this, huh?āĀ
Jeonghan likes to think heās getting good at being casual about this topic because itās all most of his friends have talked about since he made the announcement last night. He spits in the sink, focusing on running his toothbrush under the water. āSeems that way, yeah.ā
Seungcheol is quiet for a while and Jeonghan wonders if he might drop it. Heās not so lucky. āWhy didnāt you tell me?ā His roommate sounds hurt.
āI did. Last night.ā Jeonghan tries to keep the chill out of his voice when he answers it because heās remembering how satisfied Seungcheol looked back in August across the quad.Ā
āI mean - weāre friends, right? We have been for years. We live together for fuckās sake. I didnāt even know you had a class with her, much less that youād been talking to her or really liked her.ā
He can tell Seungcheol is getting frustrated and Jeonghan is losing his patience for it. Seungcheol should feel bad and Jeonghan wants to make sure he does. āI didnāt know youād want to know, especially if I wasnāt getting turned down.ā
It has the affect that heās hoping for. Seungcheol reels back a bit. āItās not like that and you know it. Of course Iād be happy for you if you really liked someone. You just⦠havenāt.ā
āI do now.ā Jeonghan is even surprised by how fast the words come out. āWant to make fun of me the way you guys do with Joshua now? It seems you and Mingyu will have something to say either way.ā
Itās like heās watching in real time as Seungcheol realizes he might have been a dick. But this has just started. He and Y/N have a three month agreement once itās reasonable to announce that theyāre official and Jeonghan plans to make the most of it while Y/N is on board. Seungcheol is just the start.
āYou know we donāt mean it. Itās not that serious,ā Seungcheol might even be pleading now but Jeonghan feels his anger boiling over as he pushes past Seungcheol to get back to his bedroom.
āHave you asked Joshua if he thinks itās not serious? You ever wonder why he doesnāt bring his girlfriend around when she goes to the same fucking school?ā Jeonghan bites, opening his closet, yanking out clothes that heād already planned to wear. His movements are jerky as he dresses.Ā
āHe always says sheās busy.ā It sounds like Seungcheol is trying to convince himself of it. That really has been Joshuaās excuse, but Jeonghan remembers how Joshua avoided talking about her for so long, afraid of how everyone would react. Theyāve only met her a handful of times in three years. He half considers taking a page out of Joshuaās book when it comes to Y/N, but it would defeat the purpose of their plan. This needs to be rubbed in their faces. Not tonight, but soon.Ā
āI gotta go, Iāll see you later,ā Jeonghan shoves his keys, wallet, and phone in his pockets and walks past Seungcheol, ignoring the āseriously, manā thatās mumbled.
Y/N can tell Jeonghan is in a mood when they meet in the lobby of their apartment complex. She lets him have his moment as they get into his car and drive to the river front. He seems to relax some when they park and she asks what kind of street food heās thinking of getting. Itās chilly but they find a bench on the riverās edge to eat their food. āSo howād your announcement go?āĀ
āGood, I guess,ā Jeonghan grunts.Ā
āBe more convincing,ā Y/N insists lightly. He gives her a look out of the corner of his eyes before he scoffs. But sheās relieved when he does lighten up a bit.Ā
āIt was good until I was talking to Seungcheol earlier. He was offended that I never mentioned it.ā One thing that keeps surprising Y/N is how open Jeonghan is about his thoughts and feelings. She doesnāt want to discourage it. She knows what itās like to feel like you canāt go to your friends with this sort of stuff.
Y/N hums. āSeems about right. Howād that go?ā
āBad. We donāt fight often - I mean only a handful of times over nearly 15 years. He didnāt like that I was right though. He didnāt want to know about it if he couldnāt give me a hard time about it.ā
āIām proud of you.ā Jeonghanās head snaps to look at her as she continues. āYou should absolutely tell him heās being a dick. Mingyu next, please. Imagine how satisfying that will be.ā After a beat, she adopts a thoughtful expression. āMaybe we need to take a more subtle route to avoid fighting with them, though. Iām not out to ruin friendships here. I just want to deliver some karma and a little guilt-tripping.ā
āHowās this going to work anyway? Jeonghan asks. He's already said he doesnāt want to make assumptions about what sheās comfortable with in this little scheme of theirs and that her approval on the process is important to him.Ā
She hears him chuckle when she pulls out a notebook and a pen from her bag. āYouāre not going to make me sign a contract, are you?ā He teases.
She gives him a side eye, but she canāt help but smile. She flips to a certain page. āNo, Yoon Jeonghan. How much time are you spending on Wattpad?ā
āJust enough,ā he jokes. She rolls her eyes.
The plan is pretty simple.Ā
Phase One - Casually Dating. This is critical, she says, because it lays the groundwork for the rest of the plan. It has to be convincing that itās going well and they like spending time with each other. She insists that this act doesnāt just extend to his friends or even her friends, though theyāre important factors. It extends to all of campus. His absence at parties will be noticed. His prolonged attention on a single person will be noticed. It will make an impact. He needs to jumpstart some image rehabilitation if this will work. People need to be second guessing what they think they know about him.
Phase Two - Officially Dating. Once they both feel that others are sufficiently convinced that something serious could really be going on between them, they hard launch. This includes things like being seen together on campus, posting each other on social media, and attending parties together. She says that this is the natural rhythm of this type of thing and he nods in agreement. Despite the fact that heās not put any of those things to practice, she knows heās smart and has seen it all before. When Y/N mentions a little PDA, Jeonghan frowns like he hadnāt considered that it would be necessary. He asks what she has in mind, but Y/N shrugs and says theyāll revisit it if phase one is successful. Sheās still debating on what will work in regards to the topic of PDA, given what heās used tonight other than girls.Ā
Phase Three - sometime after the three month mark, they quietly break up. Quietly because Jeonghan canāt be the bad guy here if this is going to really benefit him in the long run. Jeonghan says that this part sounds deceptively simple and even asks if thereās more. Thereās not so he shrugs. Another thing theyāll revisit if the first two phases are successful.
She really only has one rule. He has to stop all non-platonic interactions with other women until this is over. Even if heās discreet, people will still talk and it will ruin the new image that theyāre trying to create. Jeonghan agrees to this with surprising ease, and Y/Nās shock must show. She was expecting for him to ask to bend this rule on an occasion or two because itās been implied she wonāt be putting out. She has an idea of the frequency of his hook ups because sheās seen and heard things and three months is a long time for someone with his habits. He simply says, āJust trust me. I promise not to make you look bad.ā He even pinky promises on it.
When theyāve agreed on the general details, Jeonghan takes the pen and signs the bottom of her notes with a smile. āThere, itās official now.ā
She scoffs, snapping the notebook shut around his hand and taking her pen back. Both items go back into her bag. Sheās smiling too though. āCome on. I want hot chocolate.ā
āAre you paying?ā He chides, standing to walk with her.Ā
āNo. You just signed your life away. You didnāt even read the contract.ā She jokes and he laughs. He pays anyway without complaint.
Y/N had spent so much time worrying about Jeonghanās side of this little deal that it didnāt occur to her until she was out with her friends in celebration of Junhuiās excellent performance earlier that night. They both had a part to play in this and she feels kind of silly that she had forgotten that this would impact her too.Ā
Seokmin had joined them for dinner and Y/N wore her best poker face. Heād been friends with everyone before he left too. She didnāt want to cause anymore of a rift than their breakup had. She also knew many of the guys still kept in contact with Seokmin even if she didnāt and had missed him. Vernon kept her glass full of alcohol. Itās one of the rare times that he wasnāt giving her a hard time about her misfortune (which this entire night certainly classifies as). She thinks he probably just doesnāt want to see her cry tonight. Vernon is totally lost with that sort of thing.
The alcohol wasnāt numbing much though. Everyone else seems to be having a good time and she was beginning to feel left out. In particular, Soonyoung was having a lot of fun downing drinks. His voice was loud and it looked like their waiter might cut him off at any moment. Drunkenly, Soonyoung turns to Seokmin. āSeokmin, Minnie couldnāt come with you? When will we meet her?ā
Y/N didnāt miss the looks from the rest of the table because there was nothing subtle about it. Some flashed with concern towards Y/N. Some looked like warnings at Soonyoung, who was oblivious. Seokmin hesitated, eyes flitting to Y/N across the table. āNo, she had some things to do. She says sheād like to come next time.ā
She felt like sheād been struck by lightning. Minnie. His costar. Maybe his new girlfriend too from the sounds of it. It seemed like all of her friends knew as well and theyād kept it from her. Soonyoung cried out, leaning down to hold is leg. Someone must have landed a kick under the table. Minghao smoothly changed the subject.Ā
After that, Vernon is very diligent about keeping her glass full. The world moved around her but she stayed quiet. How dare he? How dare he dump her and move on just like that? Theyād not even been broken up for a year. How was it so simple for him when her eyes burned at the fact that he was even at the same table? Did nearly 7 years mean nothing?Ā
Maybe it didnāt. Maybe her friends knew that, which is why theyād kept this a secret. They knew she hadnāt been able to move on so easily. Between the anger and the alcohol she felt like she was on fire.Ā
Vernon elbows her. Sheās missed an entire conversation. āSeokmin is here until Friday. Want to join us for dinner and drinks on Thursday night?ā Junhuiās not oblivious, but heās sure acting like it with the question. Or maybe itās out of politeness, not wanting her to feel excluded. Either way, her fists clench in her lap because thereās no way to spin this into something positive.Ā
Out of nowhere, Y/N remembers Jeonghan asking her what she gets out of their scheme. Sheād insisted making his friends eat their words was enough. But maybe she could benefit from it more than she thought.Ā
She remembers when she and Jeonghan planned his announcement to his friends. Be casual, no big deal. She gives her most convincing apologetic smile. āSorry, I wonāt be able to make it. I have a date.ā She doesnāt look at Seokmin because his reaction matters very little to her. Itās with great satisfaction that she watches her friends stumble as she changes the subject.Ā
Y/N hadnāt really thought about the impact her announcement would have because it was so spur of the moment, unlike how Jeonghanās was meticulously planned. But she was learning what that impact was. Her friends were tiptoeing around her, around the topic. It seemed like no one was brave enough to say anything yet. That is, until they sent Minghao.Ā
As was her usual routine, Y/N often studies at the coffee shop during Minghaoās shift. Itās three in the afternoon now, which means itās dead. The morning rush is long over and the night class rush (if you could even call it that) wonāt start for another hour or so. Minghao slides into the chair across from her and Y/N glances up to give him a small smile. He doesnāt return it. He looks a bit nervous, which is very unlike him.Ā
āWhat?ā Y/N asks, though she thinks she knows where this is going. Itās been days since the conversation during dinner. Itās clear one or all of them canāt take the mystery anymore.Ā
Minghao looks like heās steeling himself. Finally he says, āSo, a date, huh?ā She shrugs. āWhen did that happen?ā
āIāve actually already been on one, on Friday. Weāre going out again.āĀ
She watches Minghaoās eyes flare in surprise. āOh? So it went well then?ā He seems neutral about the news.
āYeah, it was good.ā The answer was genuine. If youād told her earlier in the semester that sheād enjoy Yoon Jeonghanās company, she wouldnāt have believed it. Despite the fact that it could barely be called a date, what with the scheming and all, she did have a good time.Ā
āDo I know him?āĀ
Y/N shrugs again. āI suppose. Itās Yoon Jeonghan.āĀ
A flash of concern crosses Minghaoās face. āYoon Jeonghan. Are we thinking of the same one?ā When Y/N just raises an eyebrow because thereās only one Yoon Jeonghan around here, he tacks on, āThe one that was here with you last week?āĀ
āYes.āĀ
Minghao face palms. āOh, honey. Why would you do that?āĀ
He sounds so exasperated and scolding that it pisses her off right away. āDo what? Go out with someone whose interested in me?ā
Minghaoās stammering now. He didnāt expect her to fight back. Sheās been the quiet one of the group from day one, letting the rest of her friends run the show. With Seokmin, sheād always been so agreeable, even to a fault. And when Seokmin had left, she took all of her friendsā advice without argument, trusting that she would feel better if she did. Sheād always assumed they were looking out for her, but she was thinking sheād misinterpreted some of their intentions now.Ā
āI donāt mean it like that, Y/N. I just mean⦠we all know how hard Seokmin leaving was on you. Thereās no need to rush moving on. Least of all with someone like Yoon Jeonghan.ā
She doesnāt like how he says Jeonghanās name like heās the devil incarnate but she canāt deal with that right now. āNo need to rush moving on like Seokmin did? Tell me, how quickly did he start dating someone else after he ended a years-long relationship?ā She snaps and Minghao doesnāt have an answer. āEvery single one of you knew and you didnāt tell me. You let me sit across from him at dinner and find out the hard way.ā
āWe were trying to protect you from it. Youād been doing so much better. We didnāt want to ruin the progress,ā Minghao says weakly.Ā
āWell, you donāt have to worry about the progress being ruined. Iām very over Seokmin, but Iām deeply offended that you guys kept this from me. It did absolutely no good to protect me from it right up until he was right in front of me for the first time in a year.ā
Minghao opens his mouth to say something but a customer comes in. He has no choice but get up and make their order. Y/N packs up her things and leaves while heās busy because sheās not interested in continuing this conversation.Ā
Thursday night after class, Y/N finds herself across from Jeonghan in what heās dubbed their regular booth at the diner. Itās the same one they sat at when they initially hatched this whole plan initially. When sheād texted him earlier in the week asking for a ādateā on Thursday, she was relieved when he immediately agreed. This ādateā has a dual purpose. They needed to meet anyway for their project and they also needed to discuss the next steps in their scheme. Her conversation with Minghao had sparked something in her.Ā
They get the boring stuff out of the way first - combining their notes for what theyāve read so far, discussing themes and motifs, and choices in characterization, plus where they think the ending will go. Not only has he actually done the reading they agreed on, but heās far more intelligent than he lets on and Y/N finds the conversation just as stimulating as the scheming.Ā
Speaking of, when their plates are empty, laptops are closed, and Y/Nās notebook and pen come out, Jeonghan smiles. Sheās taken more notes. However, she doesnāt tell him how itās going to be right away. āHow do you want to proceed?ā
The question stumps him and Y/N smiles when his face falls into confusion. āDidnāt you come up with a plan already?ā
āA loose one. Thereās a lot of flexibility because this needs to come naturally to both of us if itās going to be convincing. The question now is, when can we move on to phase two?ā
Jeonghanās thinking, and it probably mirrors a lot of her own thoughts. Since their agreement, Jeonghan had made a point to meet her regularly on campus - meeting her for coffee or lunch, walking her to class, even carrying her bag once or twice. It had gotten looks, which was the entire goal.Ā
She also knew that her friends had seen some of this too. She wasnāt sure if Minghao had told them who she was seeing, or if theyād seen it for themselves, but it was clear that they knew now. She smiled and confirmed their assumptions when asked, but they were careful not to voice their opinions. They seemed to sense that they were in trouble.Ā
What she didnāt know was how things were going with his friends. She knew theyād also seen Jeonghan and Y/N together on campus, and knew that a lot of those times heād been bailing on them to see her. āAre things convincing to your friends so far?ā
Jeonghan nodded slowly. āI think so. Itās helping that Iāve turned down parties. Jihoon called me a changed man the other day.ā Thereās a lightness about him when he says this. Like itās the biggest compliment anyone could give him.Ā
āDo you miss it? The partying, I mean?ā Not that she told him, but some of his bad habits were the biggest risk to their whole plot. Sheās relieved when he shrugs.Ā
āNot really. Might be nice from time to time but it was kind of always a means to an end.āĀ
He doesnāt have to spell it out for her. He wonāt go to parties if heās not taking someone home. He looks a little embarrassed about this admission after he says it but she appreciates his honesty.Ā
āThat brings me to my next question, actually.ā Jeonghan looks nervous but nods for her to continue. āMaybe we should attend one together.ā
Heās frowning now. āYou donāt like parties.ā
āI donāt like getting puked on.ā Sheās teasing, but he must know that because he rolls his eyes. āWhat Iām getting at is, a total 180 of your habits could be suspicious. Plus itās a good opportunity to be seen together. We show up, have a few drinks, chat, look cute together, and then we leave if you want.ā
āDefine ālook cute togetherā.ā He looks genuinely confused.
āWhich brings me to my next point. How are you with PDA?ā She watched Jeonghanās eyebrows raise and then he busies himself looking elsewhere.Ā
āI usually do enough to get someone to go upstairs or go home with me.āĀ
She nods, closing her eyes with a tinge of exasperation. āThatās not the kind of PDA Iām talking about.āĀ
āOh.ā
She flips the notebook to a fresh page, tapping the pen a few times. āI mean, innocent touches. Things that will make it apparent that weāre together but doesnāt necessarily mean youāre taking me straight to bed when we leave. Though I guess people thinking that wouldnāt hurt much, especially later on.ā
Across the table, Jeonghan tries to think of literally anything else but the implication of her words. Heād made a concerted effort not to think about her that way this whole time, not just in this scheme but throughout the whole semester. He would not be able to get through this if he was thinking about her in his bed. Heād surely fuck it up if sex became involved. She seems oblivious to his struggles. He clears his throat. āI donāt know. What would you normally do?ā
Y/N is surprised and her poker face slips a bit. He couldnāt be that inexperienced to all of this, could he? Heās starting to fidget, a nervous tick that he has. Maybe sheās wrong. Thereās more of a learning curve than she thought.Ā
āHand holding. Little touches, like if weāre standing next to each other you put your hand on my back or waist. Or if weāre sitting next to each other you put your hand on my thigh. Kissing probably wouldnāt be a bad touch either, to whatever extent youāre comfortable with it. The critical part is that we need to look interested in one another and no one else over a significant period of time.ā
Sheās writing notes as she says this, so she misses how Jeonghanās eyes are glazing over. He knows couples touch and kiss, heās not an idiot. And heās definitely not inexperienced with the mechanics of it all. But he feels like heās 14 again at the concept. He hasnāt said anything yet and she interrupts his panic. āAre you okay with that? Would you add anything? Are there things you donāt want to do?ā
āUh, no, Iām good. But, youāre sure youāre okay with all that?āĀ
Heās getting her signature blinks. āJeonghan, I wouldnāt mention it if I wasnāt okay with it. Besides, thereās no script to this part. Just do what feels natural.ā Heās doesnāt know how to respond and it makes her frown. She puts the pen down and sighs. āMaybe we go a different route with this. It doesnāt have to be public. Maybe you donāt want to be seen with me.ā
Jeonghanās eyes go wide, hands planting on the table. āWhoa, where did that come from? What makes you say that?ā
Y/N chews on her lip. Sheās usually a straight shooter, but she hesitates to admit this because of how insecure she might sound. However, this wonāt work if theyāre keeping secrets. āI donāt quite fit the type of girl you go after. You looked uncomfortable at the idea of being near me or touching me. Itās fine if you donāt find me attractive. Iām really not offended, I promise, but if thatās the case for you, then maybe we scrap this whole plan or find someone else to help you with it.ā
āYou think I donāt find you attractive?ā Jeonghan is deadpanned now because he canāt imagine pulling this off with anyone else. Y/N shrugs, feeling exposed now that sheās said all of that. Jeonghan gives a stiff shake of his head. āYouāre insane.ā Heās said this before but this time itās not a compliment. āIām only going to say this once. Youāre incredibly hot and pretty and cute, and just about any other kind adjective out there. Youāre not the issue here. In fact, Iām already getting questions about how I got you to so much as look at me.ā
āThatās because Iām kind of a bitch.ā Y/N means it as a joke but Jeonghan certainly isnāt taking it that way. He looks more serious than sheās ever seen him.Ā
āNo, youāre not,ā he says firmly, leaving no room for debate. āYou have boundaries and you know what you want. Thatās something about you that I canāt get enough of.ā
Things move in slow motion for her as Jeonghan reaches across the table to grab her notebook and pen. He scribbles out the question mark sheād put next to Kissing and then signs his name at the bottom. āIāll pick you up at 9 on Saturday night. Thereās a Phi and Zeta party.ā He flags down the waitress for an order of fries. Itās clear that this is final.Ā
Minseo busts into Y/Nās room at approximately noon on Saturday, two coffees in hand. Y/N is relieved to see her, though she almost didnāt call her. But Minseo had picked up on the second ring and it took very little explaining before Y/N could hear her former roommate scrambling around her room, promising to be there ASAP.Ā
Y/N wasnāt good with girls. Not good at having conversations with them, not good at maintaining friendships with them. She had very little in common with someone like Minseo, who had done dance and cheer for most of her life, was popular in the sorority circles, and whose favorite color was hot pink. Instead, Y/N had been on the soccer field skinning up her knees or the volleyball court diving for the ball, and when she wasnāt doing one of those, she dressed like a complete tomboy - no skirts or dresses in sight if she could help it. And donāt get her started on the fact that all of her friends had always been boys. Other girls, even her own teammates, had criticized her over the years, saying that she must think sheās better than other girls. They interpreted her reservation (which was rooted in anxiety about fitting in) as her being stuck up. She wasnāt. She didnāt feel that way at all. She wished she could fit in with them desperately but didnāt know how.
Minseo was one of the few girls sheād ever met that didnāt complain about the skateboard being left in the walkway of their dorm, or that Y/Nās closet primarily consisted of denim and black, or that she sometimes wore a bit too much dark eye makeup when she was in the mood. She didnāt even blink at the number of guy friends that were in and out of their shared dorm the entire time they lived together and never even suggested that something else was going on. In return for that acceptance, Y/N had tutored Minseo for many classes to remain eligible for the sorority of her choice and supported Minseoās 2am baking habit. She had even helped Minseo style dozens of outfits for her many sorority events, back when she was still trying to find her footing within the organization. It was Y/N that needed the fashion help this time.Ā
āI need you to start from the beginning.ā Minseo was practically vibrating as she plopped on her stomach onto the bed, feet kicked into the air with her head propped in her hands. Sheās grinning.Ā
āI have a date.āĀ
āSo you said. With Yoon Jeonghan.ā Minseoās smirk is huge. Sheās not surprised that Minseoās heard it. The whispers have been following her everywhere lately.Ā
āItās fake.ā The whisper is out before Y/N can stop it.Ā
Minseoās jaw drops. āWhat?!ā The screech must have disturbed Vernonās beauty sleep because he bangs on their joining wall. Minseo and Y/N yell āsorryā in unison, an old habit from their dorm days.Ā
āOh my god, Y/N. Start from the beginning. Now,ā Minseo hisses.
Y/N does. Sheās desperate to tell someone everything, to get it off her chest and feel better. She tells her about turning Jeonghan down in August, the bet, the class they shared and how they kept running into each other, Seokmin, Minghao - everything. It feels good to share the pain of it all. It also feels good to have someone to panic with her. Minseo is screaming into the pillow by the end of it and Vernonās banging on the wall again.Ā
āWell, so what now? Fake date Yoon Jeonghan?ā Minseo must recognize that this is Top Secret because sheās adopted a whisper too.Ā
Y/N gives a deceptively casual shrug. āYeah, thatās the deal. Are you going to help me or not?ā
āHell yeah, but girl, this is so messy of you. Are you sure youāre good?ā Minseo looks mildly concerned.Ā
āIāll be better if you can help me figure out what to wear, and how to do my hair and make up. Iām trying to make a point here.ā
āClarify the points for me.ā Minseo is gentle with the request, but itās clear sheās not moving from the bed until she has an answer.Ā
āThat I can move on from Seokmin. That I already have, actually. And that Jeonghanās not quite what his reputation leads people to believe.āĀ
āYouāre sure about that last one? That the betās not back on? That heās not going to continue to sleep around?ā Another gentle but serious question. Minseo knows his friends so she knows how Jeonghan is by default.Ā
Y/N bites her lip. āI think so. Even if the betās still on, none of itās real. And heās agreed not to sleep around. If he does, this whole thing backfires on him anyway.ā
This seems to satisfy Minseo, because sheās suddenly lunging towards the closet. Clothes begin flying out onto the floor behind her. Sheās digging to the back of the closet. Y/N expected that but dreads it nonetheless.Ā A few options are laying out on the bed in moments, things that are a little more revealing or tighter (or both) than sheād usually wear. Sheās not sure why she even has some of them because they still have the price tags on them.Ā
Itās a little unclear what Minseoās process is, but sheās meticulous about examining an outfit, scanning Y/N, looking back at the outfit, repeat. Finally, Minseo shoves one to her and points to the bathroom in a silent command. Minseo frowns when Y/N comes out and silently hands her another outfit. āWhat? Is this one bad?ā Y/N asks, looking down self-consciously.Ā
āNo babe, you look hot, but you also look terribly uncomfortable. Thatās not going to convince anyone.ā
It takes a while before Minseo is satisfied with the full look, but at a little before 9pm, Y/N is glad she trusted the process. Minseo ended up scrapping all of the things she initially pulled out with the excuse that they werenāt edgy enough. Y/N fans her face to dry wet eyes and not smudge her makeup when she looks in the full length mirror. Minseo didnāt try to stuff her into a short party dress; sheād let her keep her personal style and comfort, but itās enhanced her feature in a way that she didnāt know was possible. She owed her former roommate big for this because it makes her feel a little more confident about this whole thing. Like sheās not just playing dress up as Jeonghanās soon-to-be girlfriend.
The apartment door opens and Y/N knows itās time. Time for what, sheās not sure, but it feels a little like facing the music. She finds Jeonghan and Vernon at the door. Sheās unsure if theyāve ever actually met, but they apparently have now. Both look surprised when they see her, or rather what sheās wearing, but while Jeonghan smiles, Vernon frowns. She hasnāt made this kind of effort to dress up for a guy⦠ever, really. Not even for Seokmin.Ā
Y/N tries to convince herself itās not really for Jeonghan per say, but she does like how he looks at her. It seems innocent and thereās a quiet admiration to it.Ā
āReady?ā She asked Jeonghan. He holds the door open for her as they leave, while Vernonās still standing in the entry way awkwardly waving.Ā
āYou look nice,ā Jeonghan says when they enter the elevator.Ā
āThanks, so do you.ā Itās not a lie. Heās usually wearing baggy clothes like sweat pants, hoodies, and oversized shirts. Now itās jeans, a white T-shirt, and a leather jacket. Within the confines of the elevator, she can smell his cologne. Something woodsy with a hint of citrus. The scent is kind of consuming and sheās eager to get out of the elevator and clear her head.Ā
Conversation comes easy on their walk across campus. It usually comes easy with them anymore. Itās when they approach the frat house that Y/N begins to hesitate. Jeonghanās perceptive, leaning close. Thereās a crowd of people in the front lawn and he probably doesnāt want to be heard. āWe donāt have to do this, you know. We can just walk back home now, or go somewhere else and hang out. Me not showing up at all also makes a point.āĀ
āThat defeats the purpose. Besides, wasnāt I the one convincing you of this the other day?āĀ
āYou were,ā Jeonghan nodded. āBut youāre allowed to back out at any time. Youāre getting very, very little out this.ā
āThatās not totally true,ā Y/N mumbled. As soon as the words were out, she hoped he hadnāt heard her but he must have.Ā
āYour mysterious vendetta against Mingyu isnāt worth being uncomfortable here. We can always set up something else less crowded,ā Jeonghan insisted.Ā
āNo, I meanā¦ā she stalls. A crowd of drunken frat guys get too close to them on the sidewalk as they rough house. Jeonghanās hand flies to her waist pulling her away. He doesnāt take his hand back, like maybe heās trying to comfort her. Or maybe heās just putting on a show. Heās standing close and she imagines how intimate it must look because she knows how intimate it feels. Whatever it is, itās disarming because it seems so natural. āSeokminās moved on. All my friends knew and didnāt tell me.āĀ
Jeonghanās fingers tighten around the curve of her waist ever so slightly and his touch is warm through her jacket. āSo⦠you want to prove you can move on too.āĀ
It warms her that he gets it just like that, no further explanation needed. āDoes that make me a bad person?ā Y/N asks, looking around the front lawn next to her.Ā
āDoes it make me a bad person that I want to prove to my friends that I can date by fake dating you?āĀ
āNo,ā Y/Nās fly up to Jeonghanās and heās looking intently, a hint of amusement. āYour friends are being dicks. They should be more supportive of you and what you want.ā
āAnd your friends should be honest with you about some asshole that up and left you after 7 years. Fuck, they shouldnāt even be friends with him anymore, Y/N. I donāt have to know the details to know he was in the wrong here.ā His hand slides around to her back as he steps forward a bit, impassioned. She can feel his warmth against her side now.Ā
Sheād never had anyone so⦠viciously supportive of her. Not even Wonwoo, arguably her ride or die for as long as she could remember, had said a bad word about Seokmin around her. Not even when she wouldnāt eat or sleep, and cried often. Sheād asked over and over what sheād done wrong and none of her friends ever had an answer for her. Now that she thought about it, they also never told her she wasnāt in the wrong at all. Jeonghanās validation, particularly the intensity of it, is touching.Ā
Confidence in their plan renewed, she was reaching around to grab his hand off of her back, lacing their fingers together. āLetās go.āĀ
Jeonghan didnāt have to be told twice.Ā
Jeonghan had only told his friends heād show up tonight, but not that heād be bringing anyone. The omission was only because he wanted to give Y/N room to back out, and if she had backed out he already planned to back out too. In a way, he kind of liked the idea of keeping a little mystery. But Y/N is right when she says they still need to show off a little bit.
He feels their stares, amongst many others, as he leads Y/N by the hand to the kitchen. It occurs to them that he and Y/N didnāt really have a game plan for this. Theyāre totally winging it and heās trying to think fast.Ā
They both get drinks and wordlessly reconnect their hands together to fight through the crowd. He finds his friends by the pool table, Mingyu and Seungcheol with cues in their hands. They arenāt playing though. Theyāre staring. Joshua is the first to greet them, but he hardly seems concerned with Jeonghan. He seems so enthusiastic that Y/N is here that itās a little overwhelming. He immediately introduces himself to Y/N and then introduces the other four one by one.Ā
āNice to meet you, but whatās the catch?ā Jihoon asks. Though he means it in jest, Jeonghanās fingers still tense around Y/Nās. Heās afraid he might lose his cool but she squeezes his hand back.Ā
āNo catch,ā Y/N answers coolly. āWhy would there be?ā
Jeonghan suddenly remembers who heās working with. Sheās smiling, but he sees the gleam of mischief in her eyes that heās becoming familiar with. Sheās excited to face off with them. Jeonghan now realizes that sheās going to make them say it. Sheās going to make them fess up to what they really think about him and about him dating her. Sheās also going to make them regret it. He feels a little giddy at the thought. His hand relaxes in hers and he gives his friends a cool smile now.
āItās just, Jeonghan doesnāt date. This is weird for all of us,ā Seungcheol says with a slight smirk, kind of like heās expecting to scare her off easily. Itās irritating, but Seungcheol doesnāt know who heās dealing with.Ā
She looks up at Jeonghan with an amused expression. āIs this weird for you?āĀ
Automatically, Jeonghan is shaking his head, a genuine smile on his face. It really isnāt weird, which is the great irony of it all. āOf course not.ā
Y/Nās expression is light but thereās a challenge in her eyes when she levels with Seungcheol and shrugs. āYouāll get over it.ā Seungcheolās eyes widen and the smirk drops a bit. Jeonghan can see he didnāt expect her to be so casual and indifferent to his prodding.Ā
Mingyu laughs but thereās something kind of malicious about it. Jeonghan wonders whatās happened to cause such tension between Y/N and Mingyu because he feels Y/Nās fingers twitch at the sound.Ā He kind of wonders what she would do if both her hands werenāt full. āY/N, honey, you know how this goes. Weāre just trying to save you from the inevitable. Get out while you can.āĀ
āYeah, I do know how these things go with you, Mingyu. I make it a point to not take your advice because of it,ā Y/N says evenly, relaxed even. Ā
Mingyuās lips purse and he backs down just like that. Jeonghanās never seen Mingyu cower like this and makes a mental note to ask what kind of dirt she has on Mingyu that makes him finally shut up. Itās Jihoon that breaks whatever tension has been building. He looks at Jeonghan with a grin. āOh, I like her. Weāre keeping her so donāt fuck this up.ā
The night goes on and Jeonghan enjoys it more than any party heās ever been to. Itās something to do with Y/N, no doubt. He liked how Joshua and Jihoon had claimed her as part of the group immediately. He liked how she hugged a drunk Chan and patted his cheek kindly when he almost cried while apologizing for puking on her shoes all those months ago. He also really liked watching her absolutely demolish both Seungcheol and Mingyu at pool. As she sunk the last ball to win against Mingyu, Seungcheol looked at him with crazed eyes. āWhere the fuck did you find her?āĀ
āYou guys found her. Remember?ā Jeonghan said with a laugh. He enjoyed the sobering affect his words had on Seungcheol. Thatās right. Heās not going to let him forget how all this started. This is when Jeonghan realizes he hasnāt been plotting this entire night. Heād expected that the PDA and introductions would need to be meticulously planned, but it all happens with such ease that it surprises him. Joshua had handled the introductions for him and it seemed so natural to put a hand on her back or waist or hold her hand when they stood next to each other. He finds he kind of likes it.Ā
Jeonghan can tell that Y/N has had enough social interaction a little after midnight and begins to pull her by the hand towards the door. Heās surprised when Seungcheol invites her to hang out with them the next day. On Sundays, they often go to the sports complex and find something to do. Heās even more surprised when she says yes.Ā
Very few words are necessary on the way home. They both know this has been a huge success. Enough that she lets him throw his jacket around her and take a picture of her, which is uploaded to Instagram right away. Hard launch complete. Phase two begins now.Ā
It was clear on Sunday morning that her friends are staging an intervention.Ā
Y/N is already dressed to go to the sports complex later and comes out on the hunt for some breakfast. She finds her living room full and six pairs of eyes on her. Wonwoo is the one to pat the seat next to him and ask that she sit down. He starts gently. āWe saw the post. Itās blowing up on instagram. Is there something youād like to tell us?āĀ
She loves Wonwoo, and all of them really, but thereās an expectant look in their eyes that makes her seethe. Like they think they deserve answers. āDoes it matter?ā
āMatters?! Yes it - of course it matters, Y/N. Youāve been dating and you didnāt even tell us,ā Wonwoo cries, calm facade gone.Ā
āThis is what this intervention is about? That Iām dating and didnāt announce it immediately?ā She canāt help but deadpan in total disbelief.
āYes! Y/N, itās so unlike you to not tell us whatās going on with you,ā Soonyoung answers, frowning.Ā
āHave we done something?ā Junhui asks.Ā
āHave you done something? Is that a serious question?ā Minghao puts his face in his hands because he must know where this is going. Heās already been ripped apart for this once back at the coffee shop. The others are genuinely nodding though. Minghao must not have said much about their conversation because it would have served as a warning. Y/N laughs bitterly, running a hand down her face in exasperation. āIād like to know where you all find the audacity to ask me that like you havenāt been hiding things from me for who knows how long.āĀ
Besides Minghao, they look surprised, like theyād already forgotten the big reveal at dinner the other night. āY/N, I promise we didnāt tell you only because we didnāt want it to be a setback,ā Seungkwan tried to reason.Ā
āAnd you didnāt think it would be a setback when I found out while heās sitting across from me at dinner, which I didnāt even want to be at by the way? I sucked it up and went for Junhui because it was his night. Did you think that felt great to find out that not only did Seokmin toss out nearly 7 years together because he has bigger and better things to do, but one of those bigger and better things included moving on in what? A matter of months? Was it even that long? Did you think it felt great to know that everyone else knew before me?ā Now Y/N is out of her seat, refusing to be placated by Wonwoo whose trying to pull her back down. āYou guys are supposed to be my friends. Seokmin and I intentionally didnāt make you guys pick between us but it seems like you did anyway. And now you all are upset that Iām moving on? Itās okay for Seokmin to be happy after he tossed me out like trash and I canāt go on a fucking date a year later and be happy about it?ā
āAnd you think Yoon Jeonghan will make you happy?ā Vernon ask pointedly.Ā
āYes! I wouldnāt be dating him I didnāt think so!ā Tears of frustration are pricking at her eyes now. She doesnāt like how theyāre talking about Jeonghan, regardless of whether any of it is real or not, and she doesnāt like that her happiness is so conditional to them.Ā
āY/N, honey⦠heās just such a far cry from Seokmin in literally every way,ā Wonwoo tried to reason. She knows what he means. Seokmin is sunshine personified, a hero, known to be one of the kindest people youād meet, and Jeonghanās the evil villain in this story to them. But Jeonghan hasnāt destroyed her. He seems to be going out his way to make sure he doesnāt with their little plan. No amount of loyalty and kept Seokmin from doing that though.Ā
āItās almost as if thatās the entire fucking point. You guys watched Seokmin rip my heart out after so long together and you still seem to think heās the good guy here. Seokminās not the guy you think he is, but neither is Jeonghan. This intervention is over. Fuck you guys.ā
She doesnāt know who knocks on her bedroom door every now and then but she doesnāt respond. When itās time to leave for the sports complex, she walks past the living room quickly, ignoring their calls. She stuffs her feet in her tennis shoes and sheās out the door.Ā
Jeonghan meets her in the lobby. Sheās sure he can tell somethingās wrong immediately, but he doesnāt ask right away. He tells her that Mingyu and Seungcheol are already at the gym but theyāre in no hurry so they can take their time walking.
Itās when she continually silences calls and ignores texts before finally shutting off her phone entirely that Jeonghan has to ask. āIs everything okay?ā
āMy friends staged an intervention this morning. Iām still pissed.ā
āIntervention? Iām gonna need you to elaborate.ā So she does, because she doesnāt see a point in keeping it secret from him. He should know about it before he comes around her friends, if theyāre still even considered that. Itās strange how she finds some comfort in hooking onto his arm thatās stuffed in his coat pocket and even stranger how he doesnāt seem to react. This was the man that didnāt know what innocent touch really was until a week ago, but it feels so natural. Just like last night at the party.
When sheās done explaining, he looks conflicted. āIām sorry. I didnāt realize this would cause such a rift for you and your friends.āĀ
āThe rift was already there when they started keeping secrets from me. They just made it worse by expecting honesty when they werenāt giving it back in return.ā She tightens her hand around his arm, leaning into him a bit. He must think sheās cold because he loosely throws the arm over her shoulder and pulls her into his side. Itās the closest theyāve been at this point but itās not uncomfortable at all. Y/N even thinks itās kind of nice.Ā
āYouāre right, but⦠it doesnāt help that Iām me. If it were anyone else they might not have reacted that way.ā He sounds a little dejected and when she looks up heās even pouting a bit. She resists the urge to squish his face.
āYou know I donāt give a shit about that, right? I know what I agreed to. Besides, youāve been good to me in ways that others havenāt. If they understood that, theyād back off.ā It takes a while but he finally looks down and meets her eyes.Ā
āItās just what you deserve. You deserve more than a fake boyfriend really, but Iāll have to do for now.ā He looks sheepish but full on laughs when Y/N elbows him in the ribs.Ā
āHey! Stop being gross! Itās too cold for this shit!ā Jeonghan and Y/N spot Mingyu in front of the sports complex with Seungcheol. Itās Mingyu who yelled, but Seungcheol is laughing.Ā
It turns out that Mingyu and Seungcheol only brought Y/N to challenge her. It seems they took their losses in pool very hard and needed redemption. First, it was basketball, then it was soccer, then it was volleyball. With Jeonghanās help, Y/N demolished Mingyu and Seungcheol in each one. The moment they give up is when Jeonghan sets the volleyball to her and she spikes it down their throats. Ā
āHow the fuck did you even jump like that? Youāre like half my size!ā Mingyu whines, throwing himself on the ground. Seungcheolās on his knees, head in his hands. Theyāre still bitter about their losses when they end up at a sushi restaurant that Y/N picked. Oh right, they were competing for whoād pay for dinner and drinks the whole time, because Jeonghanās friends truly believed their first loss was a total fluke. Mingyu and Seungcheol hand over their cards with a grumble when the bill comes but Y/N is satisfied because not only did she eat whatever she wanted on their tab but it seems like sheās winning them over. Jeonghanās assured her that the competition is a good sign and whatever snide comments they make now are playful in nature. They even ask when they can hang out with her again.Ā
Itās been hours since she left, so sheās surprised to find all of her friends still in her living room when she gets home. They look positively panicked. āY/N, weāre glad youāre okay, we kept trying to call you and we couldnāt check your location.ā Soonyoung is hugging her tightly but sheās still pissed. She peels away from him and begins to put away her shoes.Ā
āYeah, I turned my phone off.ā
āY/N, weād like to say some things, if youād let us,ā Vernon started.Ā
All of them did look exceptionally guilty, but theyād still have to work for it. She crossed her arms but refused to sit down. āGo on.ā All of them looked at Wonwoo like theyād rehearsed this. They probably did, now that she thinks about it. Fights like this donāt happen often in this group.
āWeāre sorry. We were trying to spare you the hurt but I guess that was unavoidable,ā Wonwoo said. āWe should have just told you so maybe you had time to process it before you had to see him again. Weāre also sorry that we made you feel like we picked Seokmin over you. I promise itās not like that. Weāre all still conflicted about how things went with you two. We do want you to be happy, but we want you to be careful. Yoon Jeonghan is just⦠not our first choice. But if itās yours, weāll support it.ā
āThen who is? Whose your first choice?ā None of them answer and some of them wonāt even make eye contact. Y/N scoffs. āStill keeping secrets, I see.ā
āIt doesnāt matter who our first choice is. All that matters is that youāre happy. If thatās with Jeonghan, then weāll support it and weād love to officially meet him,ā Minghao said. He looks stressed. Heās looked stressed since the day at the cafe. He relaxes a bit when Y/N agrees to arrange something. They all do.Ā
Jeonghan readily agrees to abandon any Friday night plans that he might have had (which was nothing because he hadnāt been committing to anything or anyone besides Y/N and their plotting lately) in exchange for game night with Y/N and her friends. However, he agrees on Monday and immediately begins to panic. Heās aware that her friends arenāt his biggest fans. He even understands it. This is different than proving to his friends, who usually seem to like him, that he can hold down a relationship. This is simply proving to her friends heās not a totally bad guy. Heāll even settle for being an okay guy. Breaking his image is critical with them if this will work. He and Y/N both know how it would look for her friends to not be supportive. It would negate a lot of their efforts.Ā
He and Y/N spend a lot of time talking about how this might go on Thursday night after their class. This time, they go to get fast food in Jeonghanās car because itās getting too cold to walk. The radio plays lowly while they both sit sideways in their seats for what feels like hours. He kind of feels like heās getting a pep talk to meet her parents in a way. They ultimately decide that heāll need to show some humility and play up his sweet nature. Jeonghan laughed when she recommended that, but she reminds him that he wasnāt very cocky the other night when she met his friends. They decide to play the PDA by ear, but that it will look better if he sticks around for a while that night and doesnāt try to sneak off with or without her. Theyāre still suspicious of his intentions and they need to be convinced that this is all innocent right now.Ā
On Friday, he shows up early to help Y/N cook dinner. She doesnāt ask him to, he just does, pushing past her when she opens her apartment door and picking up a knife to start chopping things that are laid out on the counter. She doesnāt ask but heās sure she already knows this is just to work off some nervous energy.Ā
When her friends start to show up, he learns a few things fast. Soonyoung does not know how to handle his alcohol and swings wildly between imitating a tiger and crying. Thereās very little reaction to this so it must be normal. Seungkwan is the biggest gossip heās ever met and seems to know everyoneās business, even some of his. Thatās a little intimidating, but it seems to work in his favor that heās embarrassed by it.Vernon is very critical of Jeonghanās movie choices and has some strong opinions on the Star Wars series. Jeonghan has to talk movie theories to get into his good graces. Wonwoo is a huge nerd (this doesnāt surprise Jeonghan, but Wonwooās much more shameless about it here). He brags at his rank in some first-person shooter game that Jeonghanās never really played. Junhui tells really bad, cringe worthy jokes and Jeonghan thinks he might be his favorite here because it breaks a lot of the tension in the air. And Minghao is totally in love with Y/N.Ā
The way he looks at her says it all. Everybody seems to know, except for maybe Y/N. Itās especially obvious with how he avoids all contact with Jeonghan if he can help it, despite him being the one to ask for introductions in the first place according to Y/N. It occurs to him that she could get something else out of this deal if Minghao manned up and confessed after their ābreak upā. The idea leaves a bitter taste in his mouth for reasons unknown and he tries to be subtle about downing his drink to wash it out. Picturing them together is something he canāt spend a lot of time on and he kind of hopes he never has to see it if and when it happens.
Someone pulls out UNO and apparently they totally ignore the rule disallowing stacking of drawing cards. Itās even crossed out in the little paper manual from the box in pink glittery ink. Jeonghan doesnāt have to wonder who did that. The game is vicious and by the end of it Soonyoung isnāt the only one tearing up with so many cards that they canāt even hold them all in their hands. Jeonghan wins by sheer luck. He would usually cheat excessively at games like this but he swears he didnāt when heās accused. Some of them donāt seem to believe him.
To put a stop to the heated threats and crying, Wonwoo moves everyone into the living room for some video games. This has the opposite effect and Jeonghan watches as Seungkwan nearly breaks the controller when he loses. Jeonghan becomes a little distracted when Y/N leans into him more to dodge Vernonās arms flying in rage when he also loses. Without thinking, Jeonghanās arm comes around her waist and heās pulling her into his side. She folds instantly, laying her head onto his chest. His heart races and heās sure she can hear it.Ā
At some point, they switch to Just Dance and Y/N has swung her legs over his lap. He mindlessly plays with her hands in her lap. He doesnāt know what this looks like to her friends but he finds he doesnāt care all that much. This isnāt about putting on a show because it feels nice and sheās warm and smells good. His heart races more when she twists the rings on his finger. Heās so comfortable with this and he realizes so fucked because this isnāt really requiring much acting anymore and he canāt imagine doing this with anyone else in a matter of three months.Ā
The following weeks become predictable in some ways. Jeonghan and Y/N spend every spare moment together. Jeonghanās friends regularly crash these moments, especially Seungcheol and Mingyu who have become particularly fond of Y/N. There are also the occasional interruptions from Y/Nās friends, though theyāre still pretty guarded. Theyāre at least making an effort to be friendly when they see Jeonghan and extend invitations to him when heās around.Ā
Their friend groups had even started to mingle some. It was approaching the end of the semester and Soonyoung and Chan were planning a Christmas party before everyone went home for the holidays. Jeonghan was surprised that all of his friends agreed despite the fact that it wouldnāt be the rager that theyāre used to.Ā
Since the game night at Y/Nās apartment, she and Jeonghan have also taken to an open door policy at each others apartments. They donāt need invitations, though itās nice. They just show up when theyāre bored - if they werenāt already together, that is. They arenāt even trying to act cute together, as Y/N put it, anymore. They just enjoy each otherās company and often times innocent touches come naturally.Ā
He especially likes holding her hand as they walk or cuddling with her on the couch. His friends tease him about it, saying he should let Y/N breathe a little, but he notices sheās just as guilty of initiating physical contact. She likes to hold his arm and huddle into his warmth when they walk around campus in the snow and plays with his hair when he lays on her with his face in her neck or on her chest. He soaks up all of it because itās so unlike what heās experienced before. Itās innocent and warm and floods his entire body with something totally unique that he canāt identify.Ā
But he still wants her badly in other ways and doesnāt want to talk about how it keeps him up at night when his thoughts turn into something not so innocent. He feels guilty about how fast it makes him come sometimes as he touches himself. Heās sure she doesnāt mean any of her touches like that so his 3am habits will remain a dirty little secret.Ā
Whatās totally unpredictable is the attention that both of them started getting. Many guys on campus now approach Y/N to hit on her. One straight up told her, āIf Yoon Jeonghan can get with you, then anyone can.ā He, along with any others, got ripped apart. Jeonghan didnāt even find out about these conversations from her and certainly didnāt witness them. She was starting to get a reputation of her own and Jeonghan grinned when he overheard one guy tell another not to mess with her and that she and Jeonghan must be kind of serious.Ā
Jeonghan was also getting attention, maybe even more than when he was single. Some women even approached him when Y/N was with him, like him holding her hand or carrying her bag didnāt matter to them. His shiny new reputation as adoring boyfriend was apparently very likable, even to women that had said they outright hated him before. In another life he might have lived for this kind of adoration, but it got old very fast. By now, he had perfected the friendly yet firm response of, āNo thank you, Iām not interested,ā and if Y/N was with him he happily introduced her with special emphasis on the word āgirlfriendā. If they continued to push, heād become pretty mean. He wasnāt interested in hearing anyone bad mouth Y/N, and he also wasnāt interested in making her look bad by letting it slide.Ā
The day after finals are done, Y/N is making lists in her little notebook about desserts she plans to make for the holiday party. Joshua has joined them because he can bake and Jeonghan should not. Instead, Jeonghan is seeing what ugly Christmas sweaters he can find online that will get here fast.Ā
Joshua and Y/N finalize a recipe and ingredient list theyāve been working on and take a break. āWhen are you going home for the holidays, Y/N?ā Joshua asks. Jeonghan frowns. Heās been so busy with the end of the semester and interviewing for his internship that heād forgotten to ask what her plans were. He feels like a bad boyfriend. Or a bad fake one anyway. At the very least, a bad friend, which he considers them to be by now.Ā
āOh, Iām staying here,ā Y/N answers.Ā
Joshua glances at Jeonghan. āOh. Is your family in town then?ā
Jeonghanās been around Y/N enough to start seeing through the mask she usually wears. Thereās some tension in her mouth, the only tell at the moment. āNo, theyāll be abroad for the holidays. They usually are.āĀ
This is news to Jeonghan. Heās abandoned his phone entirely now. Over the past month or so that theyād been ādatingā, sheād never mentioned her family and heās never witnessed a phone call or text between them. He just assumed they werenāt close. He hadnāt realized they were so distant that they didnāt even see each other for the holidays at all.Ā
Joshuaās asking a lot of questions now with a lot of concern. Where are they going? Didnāt you want to go with them? Do you see them often? The subsequent answers were: France, no, and no. Joshua looks devastated. āSo youāll be here by yourself the whole time?āĀ
Y/N shrugs. āSometimes, I go with Wonwoo, but his family is going on a cruise this year. His parents are getting their vows renewed and itās going to be more like a family reunion. So, yeah, I guess Iāll be here.āĀ
The thought of her alone on Christmas morning made Jeonghanās chest hurt. There was no way he could stay in his parentsā home and enjoy anything knowing that. āYou should come with me.ā
Y/N looked surprised, but Joshua looked straight up stunned. Jeonghan knew he would get grilled about this later, but it wasnāt important right now. What was important was getting Y/N to agree. āHannie,ā Y/N started. Jeonghanās heart fluttered. It was a relatively new nickname and he wasnāt over it yet. Heād been used to her calling him his full name to give him a hard time (which heād come to like too). āAre you sure? Weāve not been dating long and it wouldnāt give your family a lot of heads up.ā
āIām sure.ā And he is. His parents donāt need a lot of heads up because they already know about her. His sister had promptly ratted him out after seeing his Instagram post many weeks ago. Heād take whatever embarrassment his family threw at him in her presence if it meant she wasnāt alone here the whole time. āIām leaving the day after the party.āĀ
Jeonghan thinks sheās going to say no. Sheās chewing on her lip now, looking right through him to make sure heās serious. Heās long stopped being nervous when she does this whole āstaring right into your soulā thing. He enjoys it now, being seen by someone like this, because sheās never once made him feel bad about what she sees. Finally, she nods. āOkay. Let me know what time to be ready.ā
The moment she excuses herself to go to the bathroom, Joshuaās all over him. āHan, are you serious? Taking a girl home to meet your parents?ā Joshua looks ecstatic at the idea.Ā
Jeonghan smiles. āYeah, of course.ā
āOf course? I think I might cry.ā And he really does look like he might. āIām just really happy for you. You two fit together so well.āĀ
āYeah, we do,ā Jeonghan mumbles. Y/N comes back in the room, ready to go with the next recipe, none the wiser. Jeonghan blindly scrolls through ugly Christmas sweaters without really seeing them because heās too busy thinking that maybe they only fit together so well because thatās the whole point of their little scheme. Lately, there are times that he entirely forgets about the scheme, which would end in a matter of months. His eyes start to burn at the thought.
A couple days later, Jeonghan finds himself seated next to Y/N at the table in her apartment. It looks like Christmas threw up in here, what with the aggressive amount of colored lights and garland everywhere, the Mariah Carey song that Seungkwan is belting it out to on karaoke (which heās not actually that bad at), and the ridiculously ugly sweaters everyone is wearing. Mingyu and Y/N are talking sports and Jeonghan isnāt keeping track of the conversation, though heās staring at Y/N as she talks. Sheās got glittery eyeliner on and itās distracting. Seungkwan laughed at her as soon as heād seen it, calling it gaudy, but Jeonghan defended her, saying it was cute and festive. Heād defend her glitter habit any day because it was very her and made him smile. It didnāt hurt that she smiled at him when he defended her either. That alone would have been worth it even if he hated it.Ā
The apartment door swung open and Y/N jumped out of the chair mid-sentence. āYou made it!ā Sheās hugging Minseo and theyāre laughing at their outfit choices. Itās nice to see because there arenāt many women that react warmly to Y/N like this. Minseo waves at Jeonghan and then she spots Mingyu. Her smile drops, turning to a sneer.Ā
āMingyu.ā
Mingyu looks uncomfortable. āMinseo?ā
But Minseoās already off, insisting to go next on karaoke. When Y/N sits back down, Mingyu leans across the table and hisses in barely contained rage, āYou like to see me suffer, donāt you?ā
Y/Nās grin is smug. āYes, I do.ā
Mingyuās muttering about another drink as he gets up from the table. Jeonghanās watched this whole thing with wide eyes. He leans in close to Y/N. āWhat the hell was that about?ā
āItās my mysterious vendetta against Mingyu. Iāll tell you later.ā Jeonghan was so hooked that he was about to insist that she tell him now, but Joshuaās rounded the table to stand behind them. Across from them stands Joshuaās girlfriend, Jieun, grinning with a camera in her hand. Joshuaās started to bring her around more now that Jeonghan and Y/N are together. Something about not being the only targets now.Ā
It takes entirely too long to figure out why Joshua and Jieun look so sneaky. Jeonghan and Y/N spot the mistletoe at the same time, dangling from Joshuaās fingers above them. Jeonghanās flooded with panic. As much affection as they show now, kissing had not been on the table yet and Jeonghan was beginning to think it never would be. That maybe theyād just pretend that that part of that relationship was so private that no one would ever see it, so they would never have to think about it. Y/N reaches out to grip the collar of his sweater and yank him forward.Ā
Just like spotting the mistletoe, it takes entirely too long to realize that heās now kissing Y/N. A few clicks and flashes of the camera go off before he really reacts, but when he does, heās holding her head in place. Itās gentle and there are some awwās, but mostly gagging. It makes Y/N giggle against his lips and he canāt help but giggle too.Ā
He asks Jieun to send him all the photos she took.Ā
āWhat do you mean, you and Minseo pulled a āJohn Tucker Must Dieā on Mingyu?ā Jeonghan asks. Last he remembered watching that movie, heād never seen anything like that happen to Mingyu. He would have certainly remembered it, if only for how much he enjoyed it.
Theyād barely pulled onto the highway when Jeonghan started hounding Y/N about her interaction with Mingyu the night before.Ā
āWell, we didnāt pull a āJohn Tucker Must Dieā, but letās say we were inspired by it. And others helped,ā Y/N said casually, sipping her coffee. Jeonghan thinks she looks cozy in the passenger seat, shoes kicked off and feet pulled up into the seat. One of the jackets from his back seat are over her lap as a blanket. He likes the look of it and doesnāt mind driving her around.Ā
āSo this isnāt your first scheme, huh? No wonder youāre so good at it,ā Jeonghan teased and it earns him a light slap on the arm.Ā
Sheās laughing anyway. āContrary to what you might be thinking, I donāt do this type of thing often. Mingyu happened to deserve it.ā
Jeonghan believed that. āTell me what happened,ā he insisted.Ā
Long story short, Mingyu and Minseo dated while she and Y/N were roommates. This is a total surprise to Jeonghan because the way Y/N describes it is that Mingyu was head over heels, to the point that Y/N spent very little time in her room that semester. Her exact words are things like āsickeningā, and āobsessiveā, and ālove-bombingā. Jeonghan couldnāt recall ever seeing his friend like that, or even hearing of a girlfriend so serious. It had apparently worked for Minseo for a while - that is, until she came across him cheating on more than one occasion.
After the first time, Minseo had come back to the dorm in tears. Y/N encouraged her to break up with him right away. He showed up the next day with flowers ājust becauseā, and Minseo was weak back then.
The second time, Minseo was mad. The next day, he showed up with some luxury jewelry saying it reminded him of her. She couldnāt stay mad.Ā
The third time, it was Y/N that came across it. Sheād been dragged to a party by Minseo and found him in the bathroom with someone that was definitely not Minseo. Mingyu panicked because he hadnāt known Minseo or anyone close to her was going to be there and as far as he knew this was the first time heād been caught. He begged Y/N not to say anything. Y/N agreed, but the next day she slid a large whiteboard sheād stolen from a study room downstairs into their dorm room and demanded Minseo seek revenge.Ā
They started a private Facebook group simply called āKim Mingyu Must Die.ā It turns out that Minseo was far from his first victim. The way Y/N puts it, it practically became a full-time job for a few weeks simply managing the volume of traffic that was coming through. Screenshots, phone call recordings, even some videos of him partaking in some unflattering locker room talk. The kicker was the growing list of embarrassing sexual escapades. Mingyu was not nearly as smooth as he portrayed himself to be.Ā
Minseo broke up with him by inviting him to the Facebook group.
Jeonghan had to pull over because he was crying from laughing so hard. āShow me right now! No, invite me!ā He was positively gleeful the rest of the drive.Ā
When he parked the car on the street outside of his parentsā house, he noticed that Y/N didnāt move to get out of the car right away. āYou good?āĀ
āIt might be a little late to ask this, but are you sure this is a good idea?ā
āYeah, why wouldnāt it be?ā Jeonghan asked, but he thinks he already knows the answer. At least part of it. This is temporary. The initial plan wasnāt to lie to their families - or his family that is. He wasnāt sure if her family even knew about him and hasnāt brought it up because it seems like a sore subject.
āHave you ever brought a girl home?ā Y/N asked, but sheās not looking at him, examining the cheesy Christmas decor that his mom insists on putting up.Ā
Jeonghan has to laugh because the situation theyāre in should make it obvious. āNo.ā
āWhat have you told them about me? I assume Iām not a total surprise⦠right?ā She looks at him with wide eyes.Ā
Just like that itās his turn to look away because he definitely canāt look at her when he answers. āI told them we met in class. That you were pretty, and funny, and took absolutely no shit.ā Jeonghan picks at some fuzz on his sweats to keep avoiding her eyes. āI wasnāt sure how much you wanted me to say. But theyāre looking forward to meeting you.ā
She reaches out and captures his hand and he grips back reflexively, looking up at her. Sheās not shy about physical touch with him, never really has been since all of this started, but it almost makes him feel giddy every time she initiates the contact. āYouāre okay with me being here?ā
āYes, I wouldnāt have invited you otherwise.ā His answer is automatic and honest. āAre you though? I can take you home. We haven't gone in yet.ā He means it. Heād start driving again and tell them heās running behind and Y/N couldnāt make it. Or maybe even bail entirely just to stay with her back at her apartment. There were a couple hours on the road to think of a decent excuse.
Her grip gets tighter on his hand and she looks back at the house. He patiently waits for her. āIām not used to what you might consider a normal family dynamic. Iām going to be awkward. Really awkward, probably.ā
āWeāll make it work. Iām just glad youāre here and not alone at home the whole break.āĀ
She looks like sheās steeling herself. āWill you hold my hand?āĀ
Jeonghanās heart could explode. āYou know I will. As soon as I can put the suitcases down.ā
He keeps his promise. As soon as the suitcases are placed in the entry way, Jeonghan is helping her with her coat and shoes. Thereās a yell from the kitchen. āIs that my son?!ā
āYep!ā He yells back, before turning to Y/N and offering his hand.Ā
His parents are warm. Itās the best way to describe it. When Y/N spots them, theyāre in the kitchen cooking dinner together. Both are wearing cheesy Christmas aprons and their smiles are huge when they spot Jeonghan. He has to drop Y/Nās hand to hug both of them and it kind of looks like theyāre squeezing the life out of him. But as soon as heās got some space between him and his parents, his hand is on Y/Nās back. Itās grounding to her if only for a moment.Ā
āThis is my girlfriend, Y/N,ā he says simply. To her surprise, sheās pulled into a hug by both of his parents. At the same time. She tries to be polite but sheās totally overwhelmed by it. Jeonghan waves them off, āOkay, okay, donāt scare her off, please.ā
As soon as they back off, sheās close to Jeonghan again and she hopes it doesnāt seem rude. She cares about what they think and she canāt pinpoint why in the moment. Jeonghanās hand falls to her back like itās the most natural thing in the world. She doesnāt know what to do with herself but his mom leaves very little time to stress.Ā
āY/N, howās your baking?ā Y/N says āokayā and Jeonghan says āamazingā. His mom smiles again, handing her a whisk. āGreat, you get to help me make dessert.ā
Hours later, after dinner, Jeonghan says theyāre going to turn in for bed early. He makes the usual excuses like traveling, but really he can see that Y/N is still totally overwhelmed and needs the opportunity to regroup. Upstairs, he points her to the bathroom across the hall for a shower and he takes the chance to tidy up his room. Since heās been with her, heās made an effort of trying to keep his space clean in case she comes over. Last time he was home to visit he wasnāt with her yet, so itās not in the greatest condition.Ā
While putting fresh sheets on the bed, he tries not to think about how theyāve agreed to share his room for the duration of their trip. His sisterās coming in tomorrow so her old room is not an option beyond tonight. Y/N insisted he not sleep on the couch, and Jeonghan let it be known that her sleeping on the couch was never even an option.Ā
This is a boundary that they havenāt crossed yet. They might spend just about every waking moment with each other, but there had been no sleepovers yet. He trusts that sheād tell him if she didnāt like the sleeping arrangements or if she has any ground rules for the next week or so. Sheās not usually shy to tell him what sheās thinking. But this is most certainly a test of his restraint and he doesnāt want to mess everything up.
When she comes in, he doesnāt look at her right away, too busy shaking a pillow into a pillow case. āFeel better?āĀ
āYeah, thanks,ā she says, but the crack in her voice makes his head snap up. Her eyes look puffy and red and he can only assume sheād cried some while in the bathroom. Some guilt is settling in. Maybe he hadnāt realized just how overwhelmed she was. He wonders what her life was like before, as a child, as a teenager, if a few hours of basic kindness and warmth from his parents has her like this.Ā
He throws the pillow down and opens his arms. She walks right into them, wrapping her arms around his waist. He finds himself practically folding himself around her, bending some to put his head next to hers instead of on top. He can smell her shampoo and his hands rub her back without much thought. His T-shirt is starting to get wet and heās pretty sure itās not just because of her freshly washed hair.Ā
Jeonghan waits for Y/N to pull away first and when she does, heās ushering her under the covers. Whatever stress he had about this moment is null and void now because itās a no brainer to slide into the sheets next to her and pull her to him. Without much of a fight, she puts her head on his chest again, one arm wrapped around him. He mindlessly alternates between patting her wet hair and rubbing her back, his other hand holding hers where it sits on his chest. Heād like to never leave this spot because it means a lot to him that sheās willing to be like this with him.Ā
āWant to talk about it?ā He whispers after a long time. Or maybe itās only been a few minutes. Time is moving differently right now. Thereās a sniffle below him and his lips press to the top of her head before he even realizes it.Ā
āIām sorry. Theyāre nice. Iām not used to that.āĀ
āYou have nothing to be sorry for,ā Jeonghan insists. āIām sorry itās not what youāre used to, but it can be here.āĀ
Heās not sure why he said it. As soon as he does, he realizes he must have forgotten again that this is temporary. In just over a month, he canāt keep that promise. It should have been obvious from the start to Jeonghan, but this ābreak upā was going to feel like a real one. When that happens, he wonāt be bringing her back here to see his family, though heād like to. He wonāt be spending every waking moment with her then because all of it will hurt too much. It already does in a way with the anticipation of the ending creeping up on them.Ā
He feels tears pricking his eyes and thereās something jagged about his breathing. Itās like she has a sixth sense about why because she squeezes his hand. āWeāre making a mess of this, huh?ā
It sounds like maybe heās not the only one who keeps forgetting, but heās afraid to ask. He laughs and itās a bit watery. āYeah, you could say that.āĀ
Y/N is twisting now, nearly laying on top of him. His body heats and hardens immediately at the feeling but his emotions are starting to become all over the place and it distracts him. She props her head on her hands as they lay flat on his chest, looking up at him. Thereās something irresistible about how heās pushing her hair back and holding her face while the other hand grazes the skin of her back when her shirt creeps up. Itās entirely too intimate to be fake anymore and he can see she knows it too. This moment isnāt to prove anything anymore. Neither of them will say it outright.Ā
Heās always admired her for how she can compose herself, but he likes that she doesnāt bother often at this point with him. She looks and sounds vulnerable when she whispers, āHow do you want to proceed?ā
He understands. This has gotten too intense, too serious. Sheās giving him an opportunity to back out right now, three month agreement be damned. They can go home and say it just didnāt work out and itās too bad. Maybe they can even stay friends because they stopped digging this hole theyāre in and start climbing out together.Ā
Jeonghan takes a deep breath and his throat burns. āLetās call it off after New Years.āĀ
Her smile is a little shaky. āOk. Two weeks. Letās make the most of it.ā
He smashes his lips onto hers and she responds immediately, her hand flying up to tangle in his hair. He really did plan to make the most of what little time he had left. They could start climbing out of this hole in two weeks, but not now. He wanted to, no, had to keep digging while he still could before this was all over because he would need the good memories later.
Y/N begins soaking up the warmth that is the Yoon family the next day, knowing she might not see them anytime soon after all this, or ever maybe. She soaks up the maternal energy Jeonghanās mom constantly feeds her by baking, decorating, and wrapping presents. They gossip over wine and trash TV, and Jeonghanās sister joins them when sheās home and not visiting friends while sheās in town. His sister is hilarious and Y/N immediately enjoys watching how she pokes fun at Jeonghan when they bicker, which is every single moment theyāre in a room together. Y/N is an only child so the dynamic is new to her, but between the shouting matches and headlocks they appear to love each other. Then she spends time playing games and having snowball fights with Mr. Yoon, whoās a bigger kid than either of his actual kids. He likes to laugh and his horrible dad jokes have her in stitches.Ā
Then thereās Jeonghan. When she said they should make the most of the rest of their holiday, she hadnāt expect that it meant heād be glued to her the whole time. There were not many moments that he wasnāt touching Y/N in some way, not that she would ever complain.Ā
And it didnāt stop when they crawled into bed each night. It might start innocently at first, but the moment either one of them leaned in to give a kiss, it became heated quickly and one was on top of the other. She was soaking that up too. The feeling of sitting on his lap with his hands up the back of her shirt, grazing and gripping her back as he kissed her made shivers run through her. Or feeling him laying on top of her between her parted legs while his tongue dipped into her mouth lit a fire she hadnāt experienced in a long time.Ā
If she was being honest, it had never felt like this with anyone before, period. Not that she had experienced something like this with anyone else besides Seokmin, but it had never been like this with him either. No clothes had even come off yet between she and Jeonghan and it was one of the best experiences of her life. Far better than thinking about him in the middle of the night while she touched herself back home.Ā
She wasnāt proud to admit it, but there were times that she grew a little self-conscious of her inexperience compared to his significant amount of experience. She wanted to measure up to what heād had before. However, most of that worry washed away with how he reacted to her touch. Sheād run her hands into his hair and heād sigh. Sheād bite his lip or neck and heād gasp. Sheād run a hand up the back of his shirt when he was laying on top of her and leave scratch marks and heād groan into her mouth. It was intoxicating to get those little reactions and know that he was as turned on as she was. Even if he didnāt give her those little sounds, she could feel how hard he was when he pressed against her.Ā
And he made sure to find what she liked too and keep doing it over and over. His hand in her hair was her favorite, but the runner ups were things like his hands running up her thighs to her ass when she was in his lap, or his mouth and teeth on her neck. Not that she hated anything he did. It all felt like heaven.Ā
Theyād come very close to taking things too far many times. When they were at that tipping point, Jeonghan would be the one to pull back and lighten his touches, a clear signal that it was time for a breather. Despite how hard he was against her, he had stopped every time this happened. His restraint surprised her given what sheād heard about him and even seen herself. Heād never seemed to hesitate to sleep with someone. She was forced to consider that maybe he just didnāt want to have sex with her and it stung a little. But maybe that was a good thing in the end because, even though theyād agreed to call things off when they got back, the way they enjoyed this made things messier.Ā
But if he ever did offer more, she was going to take it. He might have had restraint but she didnāt think she would.Ā
Itās Christmas Day and the festivities were long over. Y/Nās had a somewhat emotional day because sheād expected to sit on the couch and watch the Yoon family open their gifts. The good vibes and hot chocolate would have been more than enough for her, but then they started handing her presents. Sheād checked the tags with watery eyes and, sure enough, they were for her. Jeonghanās hand had stayed on her back as he watched her open the presents as a silent show of support. They werenāt overly personal or expensive gifts. Books, a sweater, a set of glittery pens. It was enough to know that Jeonghan had given them a few pointers though.Ā
Now itās the middle of the night and no longer Christmas Day even, and Jeonghanās got his front pressed tightly against her back. She can feel his soft breaths in her hair. āHannie?ā He hums sleepily. āIs it weird that I got you a gift?āĀ
She hears his breath catch and then he tightens his arm around her. āNo, I got you one too. Wasnāt sure when to give it to you though. If you even wanted it. Does it still classify as a Christmas gift now?āĀ
Heās giggling and it makes her giggle too. āIf itās in Christmas wrapping paper, then yes.ā Y/N rotates a bit to see him, though heās so buried in her hair sheās not seeing much. āDo you want yours?āĀ
One eye peels open and then heās grinning. āOkay.ā Y/N is up in a flash digging into the bottom of her suitcase. She and Jeonghan sit on the bed facing each other and Jeonghan has very little hesitation about opening the gift when she hands it to him. When he peels the lid off the box and lifts the tissue paper, he stops. Sheās afraid maybe sheās made a mistake, especially when he sniffles a bit. He admires the simple frame holding a familiar picture. Itās one of the many that Jieun took of them at the party a week ago. Itās the moment where theyāre giggling after their first kiss.Ā
āHow did you do this? We left the day after this was taken.ā Jeonghan gets lost in the photo.Ā
āJieun sent me the pictures. I got this one printed and bought a frame when your mom and I went out the other day for more baking stuff.āĀ
Sheās getting nervous, but then he laughs, wiping his eyes. āSo sneaky. Do you want yours?ā
āOkay,ā Y/N answers softly. She doesnāt know what to expect and sheās really nervous now. Sheās not used to gifts, usually refuses them because she feels so awkward accepting them. Jeonghan opens the drawer of his bedside table and pulls out a small box. He carefully places it in front of her.Ā
āIām sorry if itās weird, but it made me think of you.ā She wants to say thereās probably nothing he could do that sheād find weird. Instead, she picks up the gift and gently unwraps it. She lifts the lid up and something shiny catches her eye. Itās a silver ring with suns and moons on it. When she takes it out of its cushion, the outside layer of the ring spins. She can feel Jeonghanās eyes on her but she doesnāt know how to react so she keeps examining the ring.Ā
āItās - uh, it spins because you like to play with my rings like that. And the suns and moons reminded me of how you doodle them on your notes all the time.ā
She still canāt look at him, but she mumbles, āYou surprise me, Yoon Jeonghan.ā She slides it onto a finger and it fits. Sheās not sure how he got the right size.Ā
āIs that a good thing right now?ā He jokes, but thereās a tinge of anxiety in his tone that gives him away.Ā
Y/N swipes all of the boxes and wrapping paper out of her way and lunges for him, crawling into his lap. He doesnāt hesitate to wrap his arms around her, pulling her in even closer. Sheās hiding in his neck when she mumbles, āYes, itās my favorite thing.ā
Jeonghan and Y/N drive back the day after Christmas. Jeonghan tries to keep a positive attitude, but he dreads going back because it reminds him that the clock is ticking. He thinks Y/N might be feeling the same way, though sheās wearing a mask again. At least itās a happy one and not her usual poker face. He grips her thigh the whole way home like its an anchor and hers sits on top.Ā
It feels bittersweet to arrive back to his empty apartment. Seungcheol wonāt be back for another few days. This is the longest heās been away from Y/N in weeks, but they both agreed they need to do some laundry and catch up on some things. Jeonghan thinks this is only a taste of the distance theyāre about to have because he doesnāt know how to broach the topic of being friends after all this.Ā
But heās glad theyāre on the same page later that night because just as heās about to slip on shoes to go to her apartment, she knocks on his door. She says itās because Vernonās away still and she didnāt want to be home alone, but they both know itās because they donāt know how to sleep apart now after just a week of it. He pulls her into his bed and when he canāt breathe from kissing her anymore, he falls asleep with his face in her neck.Ā
The next night, itās Jeonghan who knocks on her door and she opens it like sheās been waiting for him. Heās laying with his head on her chest, listening to her heartbeat as she threads her fingers through his hair. He so close to sleep but her hand stays busy in his hair and it seems like sheās not as sleepy at all with the pace sheās keeping. So he asks what sheās thinking about.Ā
After a long beat, Y/N finally asks, āwould you ever have sex with me? If I asked?āĀ
He lifts his head up, nearly hovering over her now. He knows his look is intense, but he canāt help it. āIād give you anything you want. All you have to do is ask.ā He means it. He waits and watches her while his fingers twitch against her stomach. Heād been so careful to pull away every time it seemed like that was where things were headed because the last thing he wanted to do was make her feel pressured or complicate this whole thing further. But heād fold the moment she asked. He knows it and heās okay with it. Wants it even.Ā
Y/Nās hand laces through the hair at the nape of his neck and sheās scanning his face carefully. āI want you.āĀ
He lets her pull him down and her kiss is soft. He feels her hand shake on the back of his neck. Heās hovering over her completely now, arms braced around her head. When they run out of breath, he runs his lips down her jaw and onto her neck. āTell me what you want. Iāll do it.ā Something like a sigh and whine escapes her lips. Heās not doing it to be cruel or tease her. He really just wants to do everything to please her as long as sheāll let him. He places a few pecks up under her ear and then sucks at the spot and she gasps. āCome on, baby. Tell me.ā
āClothes off, now.ā He sits back on his knees and follows her command immediately because her voice right now is one of the sexiest things heās ever heard and it makes him throb. He peels off his shirt and sweats and heās about to ask for permission to undress Y/N but sheās already tossing off her hoodie and yanking her sleep shorts down her legs. His brain is trying to catch up with the fact that she wasnāt wearing anything underneath the hoodie, but Y/N is impatient and pulls him back down to her by the shoulder. A groan bubbles up from his chest into his throat.Ā
He wants his hands everywhere all at once. Her skin is warm and feels so soft under his touch, and he loves the sigh that she lets out as his hand come up her stomach to her chest. Sheās so fucking responsive and heās never wanted anyone more in his life. When she flat out moans as he pinches one of her nipples lightly, he has to pull back just to look at her. He wants to keep working her up like this, but heās also working himself up at an alarmingly rapid rate.Ā
He cups her breast to squeeze and kisses her again, before barely pulling back to whisper against her lips. āWhat now?ā Heās switching hands to give attention to her other breast and she arches into him. āWhere do you want me?ā
āLower, please,ā she says and he thinks he could come totally untouched. The need in her voice worms its way into his brain and he kind of hopes he never forgets it.
āYou donāt have to say āpleaseā with me, Y/N. At least not right now.ā Because heās decided that if she ever lets him do this again heāll make her beg until she cries. But not now. She can have whatever she wants.Ā
His hand skates down her stomach to the top of her panties, a cute pair that has polar bears skiing on them. He smiles against her cheek because he loves it. Loves that she doesnāt have to even try to be the hottest woman heās ever seen, even without all the lace. Loves that sheās so lost in his touch that she doesnāt show a hint of embarrassment about it. His fingertip finds the band of her panties and runs underneath the edge and he loves how she shudders. He pulls his finger out and runs his hand down to totally cup her over the material now and her eyebrows are pinched. He rubs softly, feeling a wet patch forming under his fingertips. He pulls the panties to the side and gives a soft, experimental stroke to her lips, dipping between.Ā
It makes whatever control he thought he had snap. Now he was moaning with her because she was soaked. āFuck, baby. Did I do this for you?āĀ
She nods, hand now gripping his bicep like an anchor. āYou always have,ā Y/N sighs.
Jeonghan feels like a man possessed now. His fingers dip into her wetness before they land on her clit and he starts circling slowly. āDid you touch yourself like this thinking about me? Did you make yourself come?ā She doesnāt answer because sheās gasping and her nails are digging into his arm. āAnswer, baby.ā
āYes. Many times,ā Y/N grits out.Ā
Jeonghanās pulling back, hands leaving her as he leans back on his knees. āShow me.ā His tone is demanding and her eyes snap open. Heās never seen her look so surprised and maybe that makes sense because he just told her heād do anything for her. After this, though. He needs this. āShow me how you touch yourself, how you make yourself come. I want to see it.āĀ
Y/N feels like sheās on fire. āBut I want you to touch me.ā She whines but it doesnāt seem to matter because something has shifted in Jeonghanās eyes. A hardness that sheās never seen before.Ā
His hands reach down to grab her knees, lightly pushing them apart. āAnd I want to see you come before I touch you. Then Iāll make you come as many times in as many ways as you can take, I promise.ā His intensity numbs her mind and she wonders how much she can take from him if heās like this. His promise replays in her head and sheās fucking aching for something, anything.Ā
So she slips her panties down her legs and tosses them somewhere, she doesnāt care, and spreads her legs wide. One of her hands finds one of her breasts, rolling her nipple, and the other slides down between her legs. She would usually do this with her eyes closed, but she canāt because the way Jeonghanās eyes are tracking her movements makes her drip.Ā
She slides two fingers inside of herself right away and sighs at the feeling, but she feels herself flutter around her own fingers at the way Jeonghanās breath hitches. Heās watching closely, eyes glazing over, lips parted a bit. Her fingers pump in and out at a slow pace and Jeonghanās hand grips her knee. Now both of her hands are between her legs, one rubbing her clit and the other pumping three fingers in and out. Her high is approaching fast. Jeonghanās now centered himself between her legs, both hands on her inner thighs, spreading her as wide as she can go, nearly beyond her flexibility. Her orgasm slams into her, her eyes snapping shut, but Jeonghanās still watching because heās holding her legs open when they try to close reflexively.Ā
Y/N sags back into the bed feeling boneless. When she opens her eyes, Jeonghan sounds a little out of breath. She sees his cock twitching in his boxers. The hand that was just inside her comes up in a ācome hereā motion and he obeys immediately. āOpen.ā His eyes flare in shock. āOpen so you can taste me.ā His pupils are totally blown out, but his jaw drops, tongue sticking out. Three of her fingers dip into his mouth and he moans around them.Ā
After only a few licks, heās gripping her wrist and pushing it back onto the bed over her head. His other hand lightly closes around her throat and she feels in her eyes roll back and jaw drop at the touch. His tongue is in her mouth and she can taste herself. Then heās moving fast, his tongue dragging down her neck, her chest, to her center. āOh, baby. I hope you can handle it because I want to see that over and over again.āĀ
Y/N wants it even if she canāt handle it. The moment heās laid between her legs, hands on the inside of her thighs again, sheās gripping his hair and pulling him forward. Heās groaning when his mouth first touches her cunt. He doesnāt hesitate now, doesn't wait for her to tell him what she wants anymore. His tongue laps across the entirety of her pussy, getting a good taste of her before he starts an unforgiving routine. His tongue dips into her over and over and just when sheās close his lips move to close around her clit until sheās close again. Then repeat. She must be gripping and pulling his hair painfully now to keep him where she wants him to no avail, but it just makes him moan into her cunt louder.
Tears are filling her eyes at how overwhelmingly good everything feels and now sheās babbling, gripping the sheets. āPlease, Hannie. Your fingers. Want to cum.ā Two of his fingers slide in immediately and they feel so much better than her own, stretching wider and reaching that place thatās always just out of reach for her. He finds it quickly, rubbing circles into it. His lips close around her clit again, tongue dancing across it, and tears are streaming down her face now. Sheās not sure sheās breathing.Ā
Her vision goes white and she has no idea what she sounds like. He holds her legs open, letting her ride it out. When some sense comes back to her, she mumbles, āHoly fuck, how did you do that?ā
Jeonghanās giggling against her thigh and she snaps up, propping herself up on her forearms to look down at him. This canāt be the man that just made her see god with his tongue. She smirks and he notices the shift immediately, raising an eyebrow in question. āYour turn, now.ā
His mouth pops open. āWhat - no, baby, you donāt have to do that.ā
āYou said I could have anything I want, right?ā He nods quickly. āThen I want your cock in my mouth.āĀ
Y/N watches with glee as his eyes roll back in his head. āBaby, you canāt say things like that!ā
āWhy not? You donāt like it? I thought you wanted me to tell you what I want and youād give it to me.ā She knows sheās playing with fire because he could have her coming again in moments if he wanted to, but she likes how fast he folds. Heās flopping next to her on the bed and pulling her into a heated kiss in moments.Ā
āYeah, of course I like it. I like anything you say,ā he mumbles against her lips and doesnāt stop her when her hand slides from his chest all the way down. He gasps into her mouth the moment her hand makes contact, rubbing his cock through his boxers and then giving a soft squeeze. His eyes are shut tight. His hand snaps out to grip her wrist, but he doesnāt make her stop her motions. āBaby, Iām not gonna last long if you do this. Iāve already been close so many times tonight.ā
Y/N ignores the warning. If she can come more than once, so can he. She continues rubbing him, pressing light kisses to his lips and cheek while he looks a little lost. āTell me something, since you already know my secret. Have you ever touched yourself thinking of me?āĀ
āYes,ā he whispers, eyes still shut tight.Ā
Y/N hums next to his ear now. āTell me what you were thinking about. What made you come?ā His hips jerk up to meet her motion and she grins. āCome on, baby. Tell me what you want.ā
The grip on her wrist tightens and then suddenly heās gripping her throat again as he laughs deep in his chest. āYou evil woman, using my own words against me.ā His lips land harshly on hers but he has to pull away to moan when she adds significant pressure to his cock.Ā
Her fingers dip into the waistband of his boxers, pulling them down enough to reveal his cock. She becomes wetter by the second as she takes him into her hands. Heās falling into her neck now, broken moans with every stroke of her hand. The fingers of her other hand thread back into his hair again like itās her favorite thing to do, but this time she tugs hard. His cock twitches in her hands. āTell me what you think about when you touch yourself and Iāll let you come.ā
Jeonghan sighs and Y/N thinks sheāll never get enough of watching his eyes roll back like this. āI think about you on your knees with my cock down your throat. You crying on my cock as I ruin you. You creaming all over me.ā She strokes him faster, expecting that to be it, but itās not. Heās getting worked up and words are spilling out fast. āYou moaning my name. Crying my name.āĀ
Y/N canāt help it. Sheās already pulling away from him and kneeling between his legs. He whines at the loss but she shushes him. āYou want to be good for me, donāt you?ā The words have an immediate effect, his face falling into an expression sheās never seen on him before. Something like awe maybe. He nods hesitantly. āGood. Then let me taste you, too.ā Sheās leaning down to hold his cock again. As soon as her head is in reach, his hands are combing through her hair and sheās unsure if itās to hold her hair back and be helpful or keep her there. Maybe both.Ā
She gives him a few strokes and he looks like heās not breathing as he watches. Pride floods through her when her mouth finally wraps around his tip and he throws his head back. Heās not the only one that can tease. She alternates between sucking lightly, then deeply, licking and then pulling her mouth away all together. The way he grips her hair when she slides her mouth all the way down to the base feels so nice that she moans around him. And the way he makes this little disappointed noise when she pulls away completely is so cute that she keeps doing it.Ā
Heās becoming desperate, hands starting to push her down farther and hold her in place, hips thrusting up to be deeper. Thereās a constant stream of curses and moans and praises falling from his lips and it seems like he doesnāt want to look away but sometimes he canāt help it. Her tongue runs against his tip as she strokes him fast with her hand and now heās begging. āBaby, please. Y/N, I want to come. Please let me come.āĀ
Y/N comes up for air to say, āGo ahead, Hannie.ā It only takes a few more pumps of her hand and a couple kitten licks of his tip before heās shoving her down by the back of the head. He groans as he comes, body shaking a bit from the intensity.Ā
She releases him when his hand on the back of her head relaxes. His hands blindly reach for her to drag her up his body. His hand his firm on her chin and between the bliss on his face thereās an edge of that hardness she saw when he demanded she touch herself earlier. āDid you swallow it?ā The question makes the corners of her lips turn up and she shakes her head. āLet me see.ā Her mouth pops open, tongue out carefully. Then she closes her mouth and swallows, opening her mouth wide again to show him. He doesnāt look long before he moans, pulling her by the chin into a kiss. His hands are gentle now, pulling her onto his lap to straddle him.Ā
āHoly shit, where have you been all my life?ā Heās laughing against her lips.Ā
Y/Nās giggling too, āLike you havenāt had any of that before.ā She doesnāt mean it as an insult and he knows it. She just never expected to be able to surprise him in bed like this.
His hand is combing through her hair, holding her against his lips. The low laugh he lets out is secretive almost. āY/N, itās never been like that. I think I saw the light for a second.ā
Y/N slaps his chest with a laugh now. āYouāre so dramatic!ā
āNo, really. If we go any farther, I might lose it. Youāre going to ruin everyone else for me more than you already have.ā
āDo you want that? For me to ruin other people for you?ā Y/N is careful to ask the question lightly, but she can see that he understands. Moving on after this will be harder if everything gets compared to what theyāve already done and what they might do next. She knows thatās how it will be for her.Ā
His hands are so soft against her waist as they rub up and down and the way heās looking at her makes her want to cry. āDonāt do that.ā
āDo what?ā She asks.Ā
Jeonghan is sitting up now to be face to face with her. āCry. I donāt like it, not like this.ā He places a soft kiss on her lips. āAnd yes. Youāve already ruined everyone for me in so many other ways anyway. Iāll take whatever you give me.āĀ
Her hand grazes his cheek and his eyes flutter closed. āWhy donāt you ruin everyone for me too? Make me remember it.ā
Jeonghan is looking at her like he can see right through her. āYou donāt know what youāre asking for. You donāt know how much I want this.ā His voice his so raw that her heart is cracking a little. This is the closest theyāve come to speaking openly about the unspoken feelings and desires they might have gained for each other. Heās called this whole thing off but the way heās looking at her right now is at such odds with that decision.Ā
āI can assure you I want it as much as you do, if not more,ā Y/N promises. His grip on her waist is tight now, blunt nails digging into her skin. She leans in close, lips hovering over his. āPlease.ā
Jeonghan responds to her immediately because the desperation in her tone matches how he feels exactly. His hand goes back to her throat and he pushes her by it, rolling her onto her back and shoving off his boxers with the other hand. Her legs fly around his waist as he gets on top of her and she holds onto his shoulders as he grips his cock to run it along her folds. He wants to wait, to slow down, to make it all last longer, but heās on autopilot now, totally driven by how much he wants her. No, itās really closer to a need now. He canāt imagine she wants this more like she said, though. Itās impossible.
His tip slides in and then heās kissing her deeply, holding both of her hands above her head, threading their fingers together. He slowly pushes in and they give matching broken moans at the sensation. Her lips stop moving against his once heās fully seated inside, then her head tilts back. Heās kissing her neck, nipping at it and leaving marks, letting her adjust.Ā
āOkay?ā Jeonghan asks, coming back up to her lips. The kisses are so soft compared to what they were moments ago and he can feel Y/N melting. Heās so proud that he can have that kind of effect on her. That she places any kind of trust like this in him.Ā
āYes. Please move.āĀ
He starts slow, an experimental drag almost completely out. Y/N starts to whimper in complaint but it turns into a cry as he slams back into her. He see stars at the way sheās squeezing around him, the warmth and wetness consuming him. He sets a fast pace. When he lets go of her hands, hers plant on his shoulders and his are everywhere. Her hair, her throat, her chest, and finally the back of her thighs as he pushes them up against her chest. The angle is maddening to him and her eyes are watering again when he looks down at her face. āHannie, more.āĀ
āTell me who makes you feel like this, baby.ā Thereās something so possessive about the demand and she must like it because a moan rips from her throat and she clenches on him. Sheās getting close to the edge again and he canāt wait to get her there over and over.Ā
āYou, Hannie.ā He grips her hair, tugging her to meet his eyes.Ā
āWhose cunt is this? Who going to make you come like this?ā Theyāre selfish questions but he needs to know. Needs to know that sheāll remember this and compare it to every other interaction she ever has. He knows he will for the rest of his life because heāll never find anything like this again, in or out of the bedroom. Jealousy flows through him thinking about someone else in his position. He has to make her remember it.Ā
Her eyes are rolling back and he lands a soft slap on her cheek to get her to look at him again. She moans at the touch and he feels like he could come already. āHannie.ā Everything she says comes out as a moan or cry now. Tears are streaming down her face and he presses a sweet kiss to the cheek heād just slapped, totally at odds with everything else heās doing to her body right now.
āAlready crying on my cock like a good girl. Now you just have to come all over it. Do it, baby.ā His hand finds her clit, rubbing quickly.Ā
He thinks she stops breathing as she comes. Jeonghanās praising her in her ear because he can see the intensity of it all, can feel it, and for the thousandth time tonight he canāt believe heās being allowed to make her feel like this. He slows down his movements now, kissing her cheek and mumbling, āGood girl.ā His hand sweeping up and down her body seems to make her relax so he keeps doing it. He presses a soft kiss to her lips. āWant more?ā Y/N nods numbly. āWords, baby. I need you to tell me itās okay or if you want to stop.āĀ
Tears are pouring out of her eyes again and sheās begging for real now. āMore, please.ā
Another sweet kiss to her lips. āBaby, I told you you donāt have to beg. Just tell me what you want and itās yours.āĀ
āDonāt care what it is, just keep going.āĀ
Jeonghan moves fast, pulling out of her and getting to his knees. Before she can complain, heās roughly flipping her over onto her hands and knees. His hand gently pushes her head down onto the mattress and she moans as he grips a handful of the fat of her ass. He lands a sharp spank and before she can even cry out, heās rubbing the tip of his cock into her folds again. He slides in easily, groaning again. āFuck, you feel like heaven.ā He sits deep in her like this and the way sheās arching makes him think she likes this position, which is good because he has no idea how many times heās imagined this exact sight. His imagination pales in comparison to reality. His hand slides from her ass to the middle of her back. The touch is soft and then suddenly itās not. He yanks on the ends of her hair and pulls out of her, slamming back in. The cry she lets out echoes in the room.
His pace is brutal now and his hands are everywhere. At one point he even pulls her arms behind her back and holds them there while he gropes her breast. She comes for a fourth time like this, harder than before, and he thinks she must be made for him. He meant it - itās never been like this. Nothing even comes close. Their bodies are becoming slick with sweat and he can see her arousal dripping down her inner thigh when he leans back.Ā
āIām close, baby. Will you come with me? Please?ā Jeonghan chokes out. He reaches down to her clit, rubbing fast, because heās dangerously close to bursting.Ā
āJeonghan!ā She looks like sheās panicking at the intensity of it all and when she finally tips over the edge, she sobs. He fucks her through it, but the way sheās clenching on him and the sight of her tears has him tipping over the edge too. She lets out another sob as he fills her up, coming deep inside.
Her breathing is jagged and he recognizes the signs. Sheās drifted pretty far, totally overwhelmed, totally unaware now. Jeonghan places his hands under her hips to help lower them to the bed, sliding out of her. Heās laying next to her, stroking her face, hair, and back soothingly when she really comes back to any sort of awareness.Ā
She looks as dazed as he feels. Sluggishly, she slides into his arms. They lay there for a long time just breathing. He knows sheās crying, can feel it drip on his neck where her face is buried. He doesnāt say anything because by now he is too, so he pulls the covers over them. Theyāll deal with it tomorrow.Ā
Over the next four days, Y/N and Jeonghan donāt leave each other's side for more than a few minutes at a time. Their friends all trickle back in but Jeonghan and Y/N are too busy trying to crawl into each otherās skin. What little they have to be around others, Jeonghan is pressed up against Y/Nās back or Y/N is in his lap. Their friends make jokes about turning down the PDA a notch. They donāt listen for now because theyāll have to eventually anyway.Ā
Speaking of PDA, simple touches escalate quickly now. Jeonghanās hand lands on her thigh and sheās pulling him into the bedroom. Y/Nās fingers run through his hair and heās folding into her, pushing her back onto the couch. Theyāve christened nearly every room of their apartments in a matter of days and theyāve most certainly been caught a few times. Jeonghan doesnāt feel embarrassed, has never felt embarrassed about that sort of thing outside of the times that Y/N was the one to catch him with someone else before all this, but itās surprised him over and over that Y/N seems to give even less of a shit. When her hand lands on his crotch at the dinner table surrounded by some of their friends, that becomes apparent.Ā
Itās New Years now and Y/N jokingly calls it their last hurrah. He laughs but heās feeling so fucking raw about it and heās sure she can hear it too. She doesnāt stop him when he pushes her into a corner at the party theyāve agreed to attend and smashes his lips onto hers. Theyāre already kissing when the ball drops and the crowd cheers. She drags him out by the hand not long after and as soon as they close the door to his apartment sheās on her knees, taking his cock into her mouth. He pays her back tenfold, first with his fingers, then his mouth, then his cock. Itās overwhelming how insatiable both of them seem to be and they donāt sleep that night.Ā
Itās never been like this with anyone, heās never needed anyone the way he needs her. And itās not just about the sex. He wants to glue himself to her so that he never has to be away from her. Somewhere between Christmas and now, heās come to terms with the fact that he loves her - that heās in love with her. Thereās no other explanation for this suffocating feeling. He thinks he has been for a long time now and itās crushing him, making his chest ache.
There are tears in both their eyes the next day as Y/N pulls out her little notebook and glitter pen. Theyāre in their booth for what might be the last time together. Jeonghan knows he canāt sit here again without her. They donāt even order anything besides a plate of fries because neither of them are very hungry. Her eyes level with his across the booth and though her eyes are so watery they're threatening to spill over, she gives him a smile. āHow would you like to proceed?ā
Act Three
Initially, Y/N pitches making it look like sheās the bad guy. She even has some ideas jotted down of how to do that. Jeonghan thinks sheās overly concerned about maintaining his new image now and refuses to let her take the fall for any of it. Refuses to even hear her ideas. He takes the notebook from her and rips that page out, crumbling it in a ball and dropping it on the table. He pointedly ignores her frown and makes another suggestion.
So, just like they started this mess, they decided to do it casually. Wait for the right opportunity to bring it up. Jeonghan hasnāt seen her in a few days now and heās feeling a weird mixture of agony and relief about it. Distance is probably good if heās ever going to get over this, but heās having to stay busy to ignore the itch to find her wherever she is right now. If heās still for too long, it might consume him. Y/Nās absence is the exact opening heās looking for, though he doesnāt want to talk about her. He feels sick. He has for days - since he came home from the diner on New Yearās Day to be exact.Ā
He and his friends are drinking at home tonight. The snow is coming down fast and none of them wanted to go far, so they pick up a couple cases of beer at the convenience store around the corner and pile up in his and Seungcheolās living room. āHavenāt seen Y/N in a few days, whatās she up to?āĀ
Jeonghan shrugs at Jihoonās question. āNot sure.ā He swallows hard around the sip of beer.Ā
āNot sure? I thought you guys were attached at the hip,ā Mingyu laughs but itās not unkind. His teasing has lost its mean edge when it comes to Y/N because, like his other friends, Mingyu is totally soft for her. Jeonghan feels like heās swallowing battery acid when he drains his drink, reaching for another one with a shrug.Ā
āWe broke up, so Iām not sure what sheās up to.ā He tries to say it casually, but it doesnāt really come out right. Itās so fucking hard to remain casual about this, so he focuses on anything else but his friends who have gone silent.Ā
āBroke up? Hannie, what happened? It seemed like things were going so well.ā Joshua sounds as shattered as Jeonghan feels. Jeonghan canāt look at him because heās just called him a nickname that Y/N uses, or used he guesses, so he keeps picking at the label on his bottle.Ā
āIt wasnāt going to work out.āĀ
āWhat did you do?ā Seungcheolās voice is hard.Ā
Jeonghan expects to be asked this, expects that it will look like his fuck up despite their best efforts to rehabilitate his image. Y/N and Jeonghan had talked about that too. Theyād had to discuss it weeks ago because there were whispers around campus that it would only be a matter of time before Jeonghan slipped up and they were trying to get ahead of the assumptions.
He levels with Seungcheol who looks very angry. Flatly simply because he doesnāt have the energy, Jeonghan answers, āNothing. Like I said, it wasnāt going to work out. It was mutual.ā At least that last part was true.Ā
āHyungā¦ā Chan starts. āIām sorry. You seemed really into her.ā He kind of looks like heās just been told his parents are divorcing and he has to choose who to live with now, so Jeonghan looks away.Ā
āYeah, itās too bad,ā Jeonghan mumbles, downing half of his drink in one go. Heās filled with so much bitterness about the whole thing, but right now specifically about how they all seem so devastated by the ending to something that they were convinced could never happen. āGuess you guys were right, I donāt have it in me.ā His eyes are burning so he closes them.Ā
āHan,ā Mingyu lets out in a blend of exasperation and admonishment. āWe werenāt right. We were very wrong about it, about you. And weāre genuinely sorry it didnāt work out. We like her and we like you two together.ā
āAre you sure it canāt be fixed? Maybe you guys should give it a few days and then talk,ā Joshua says hopefully.Ā
For a brief moment, Jeonghan imagines what that might look like. What would he say? How would Y/N react? Theyāre thinking itāll be an āI love you, take me backā kind of conversation, but it would really be a āplease take me back, for real this timeā kind of conversation.Ā
He remembers her sliding the notebook across the table to him with the pen sitting on top. There wasnāt much on the page because there just wasnāt much to this phase, but sheād jokingly drawn a signature line on the bottom of the page. He had taken her notebook and signed everything theyād drafted this whole time just to make her laugh but the action had a sort of finality to it that was sobering. Theyād both proved their points, so the job was done. So heād signed it too while neither of them so much as cracked a smile.
But now he really did feel like heād signed his life away like sheād joked all those months ago. āI donāt think so, Shua.ā Jeonghan recognizes that heās completely bummed out his friends and he could really use some space now that this wound has been ripped open again. He drains the last of his drink and excuses himself.Ā
Every semester starts a new routine and Y/Nās holding onto the predictability like a buoy in the middle of the ocean. Sheād spent so much time with Jeonghan near the end of last semester that now it feels weird to never see him. They donāt have any classes together because heās only taking a couple and doing an internship off campus. And anyway, it becomes apparent that heās avoiding her the same way sheās avoiding him. Sheās not even sure which one of them started it first. Things were left so raw even though they agreed on all of it.Ā
It burned her badly when she told her friends that she and Jeonghan had broken up. She'd had to bring it up randomly because they hadnāt asked. After a few cursory questions about why and what heād done, she didnāt miss how their shoulders relaxed. They looked relieved by the news and it hurt so badly that she started distancing herself from them. Sheās the first one to volunteer for an extra shift at the library and when one isnāt available she pretends sheās drowning in homework although her classes are the easiest sheās ever taken. She doesnāt have breakfast with Vernon anymore, claiming sheās always late or not hungry, and locks her bedroom door when she knows Wonwoo might be crashing with them for the night because itās a childhood habit of his to hog her blankets and she canāt be around him right now. She doesnāt go to the cafe that Minghao works at anymore. When she canāt avoid them and Soonyoung and Junhui tell her jokes or Seungkwan wants to serenade her with a new playlist, she smiles but doesnāt really know how to laugh with them anymore.
The loneliness was becoming crippling but she couldnāt bring herself to spend time with them when she was doubting that they meant it when they said they wanted her to be happy back in November. Fake or not, sheād been happy in Jeonghanās company and they were thrilled to be rid of him.
The person who refused to let her be lonely surprised her though. Seungcheol had shown up at her door the day before classes started and all but demanded her schedule. He walked with her to and from campus most days and invited her to lunch with his friends, who were still surprisingly warm to her. She recognized he was worried and was trying to fill a void, but he never mentioned Jeonghan. His actions made it clear. Theyād began to call her a friend so thatās what she was. The break up didnāt change that. Although on paper it felt like history was repeating itself like it had happened with Y/N and Seokmin, this felt so different and sometimes it made her want to cry. They didnāt look at her with pity like her friends did a year and a half ago. Her friends hadnāt even asked if she was okay beyond that one conversation about the break up, but Seungcheol had been careful to check in without naming Jeonghan specifically. He made sure she ate and asked her how she slept. He kept her from overworking when he could.
So she and Seungcheol had settled into a routine on most Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. Theyād usually come back to the apartment and hang out for a while, and maybe even eat dinner together. Sheād even convince him to crack open a textbook or work on a paper sometimes. On this particular day, theyāre freezing as they walk into his apartment after trudging through the snow. Even though Jeonghan lives here, she almost never sees him. Seungcheol seems to be strategic about his timing and goes out of his way to make sure they donāt run into each other.
Seungcheol starts some ramen and heās telling her how he found out that Joshua is ring shopping now. āThatās so cute!ā Y/N means it. Joshua and Jieun were sweet together and very obviously in love. She thinks theyāll make it.Ā
Y/N interrupts to ask if he wants hot chocolate. When he says āsureā, she jumps up to start it. āDo you think heāll propose soon?ā Sheās asking as she reaches into the cabinet on her tiptoes, fingers hooking around the handle of the mug and sliding it off the shelf.Ā
āWhoās proposing?āĀ
Y/N lets out a yelp as the mug slips from her hand, crashing to the floor, broken pieces of ceramic hitting the tile at her feet. Her breath catches and Jeonghan is on her in seconds. She hadnāt even heard him come in - probably would be exiting quickly if she did - but heās gripping her elbow to pull her back from the mess. āAre you okay?āĀ
She canāt breathe now and her eyes are filling with tears, panic flooding her veins. āIām sorry, it slipped.ā
āBaby, I donāt care about the mug.ā The pet name seems to come out of his mouth so easily and it only heightens her panic. She tries to put her hands over her face, but Jeonghan intercepts them. āAre you hurt?ā Heās examining her hands, palms first, then flipping them over to look at the backs. His fingers are soft and warm as they graze the ring he got her for Christmas and sheās full on crying now. Sheās vaguely aware that heās glancing to check her feet too, but sheās wearing socks and slippers. āBaby, talk to me,ā he presses gently.
āIām fine. Iām not hurt. Iām sorry I broke the mug. Iāll replace it.ā The words bubble up fast and she feels like she could sob. Her hands start to shake in his.Ā
Jeonghan pulls her into him. The scent of him makes her body sag and her tears soak into his dress shirt. Sheād forgotten heād have to dress up for his internship at the law office. She tries to pull back because she doesnāt want to ruin his shirt, but heās mumbling into her hair. āI told you, I donāt give a fuck about the mug, baby. Itās okay, Iām not mad.āĀ
Things are suddenly too much and when Y/N pushes him at arms length, he lets go. āIāll clean it up.ā Y/N is moving toward the cabinet holding the broom and dustpan, because she really needs something to do and really needs some distance between them to regain some composure.Ā
āI got it,ā Seungcheol says. Sheād honestly forgotten he was there for a moment and she feels kind of ashamed that heās had to see all of that. āGo take a breather.āĀ
In Seungcheolās bathroom, she cries hard, feeling exposed like a live wire. Y/N is nervous to go back out there, but Seungcheol doesnāt mention it as he slides her a bowl of ramen and a mug of hot chocolate and pointedly picks a new topic. Jeonghan is nowhere to be found.Ā
Itās Valentineās Day. Seungcheol knows today might be hard for two of his friends. Y/N has plans with Minseo and heās relieved to hear it. She sounded excited about a girls night. Jeonghan is a different story. Seungcheolās been tiptoeing around Jeonghanās moods since the beginning of the year. They all have, really. Jeonghan doesnāt show up for much anymore, and when he does itās kind of like the lights are off and no oneās home.Ā
Thatās why heās surprised when Jeonghan agrees to go to the singles mixer that Phi and Zeta are hosting. They almost didnāt ask him, because they didnāt want it to seem like they were rushing him to move on. Itās the first instance that Jeonghan has expressed an interest in going out since his breakup. Not a single hook up in sight, though Seungcheol is wondering if tonight might change that and he feels conflicted about it, thinking about how it might get back to Y/N. To make up for the lack of hook ups lately, thereās been more than enough drinking. Seungcheolās been known to party hard often, but he can recognize when someoneās at a cliffsā edge where itās not longer for fun and has become self-medicating. He watches his roommate come home with alcohol every other day and drink until itās time to go to bed.Ā
Jeonghan agreeing to attend the party should have been the first red flag. Seungcheol is talking to a girl when he spots Jeonghan throwing back shots. He keeps pulling away from the girl whose trying to be on his arm and whisper to him between each one. He finally pushes her at arms length at one point and Seungcheol doesnāt know what he says but it must have gotten the point across because she moves on to someone else.
Then Seungcheol spots him doing a keg stand. Most people are cheering, but Seungcheol makes eye contact with Jihoon across the room and they know somethingās up. Well, somethingās been up, but itās getting worse it seems. Itās when he sees Jeonghan trip over his own feet and giggle as he rolls into the floor that Seungcheolās had enough. He apologizes to the girl heās been talking to and has already promised to take home, excusing himself. Mingyuās not very happy to be pulled away from the girl heās making out with in the kitchen, but even he recognizes a spiral when he sees one.
Chan and Mingyu have Jeonghan by each arm to hold him up as he sways. Seungcheol tries to unlock the door to their apartment quickly, and soon Jeonghan drops to the couch unceremoniously in a fit of giggles. The four of them stand around for a moment, silently looking between each other before itās decided that there needs to be some sort of check-in. Too bad Joshuaās not here to partake because heās out with Jieun tonight.
āDoing okay there? Tough night?ā Jihoon starts, trying to keep things light.Ā
It doesnāt appear to be tough because Jeonghan is still giggling to himself. āYeah, Valentineās Day sucks,ā he slurs. āBeing in love sucks. I donāt know how Shua does it.ā
Itās really not a surprise to anyone that Jeonghan feels this way. They could all see it plain as day when they were together and you donāt mourn a relationship the way he has been if you donāt feel that way. āWhy donāt you try to fix things, Han?ā Seungcheol suggests. āI really think she misses you too.ā
Jeonghan pinches his eyebrows. āNo, that defeats the whole purpose of our plan.ā
āPlan?ā Chan asks.
āIt was all fake. We just wanted to prove a point.ā Jeonghanās frowning now, the only indication that heās not asleep.Ā
Mingyu stammers. āFake? How - Jeonghan, why would you do that? Why would she ever agree to that?ā
His eyes fly open as his head snaps up and though heās looking a little like a bobble head, he looks defensive. āIt was her idea!ā He flops back down. āYou guys thought I couldnāt be serious about someone and she wanted to prove that she was over Lee Seokmin.ā He fakes a gag at the name āLee Seokminā. āBesides, sheāll probably start dating Minghao any day now.ā Suddenly heās looking really pale. Jihoon shoves a trash can under Jeonghanās face just in time.Ā
Mingyu and Jihoon force Jeonghan to rinse his mouth out and drink some water when heās done throwing up and help him into bed. Chan offers to take out the trash and clean up after Jeonghan. Seungcheolās stuck in the same spot, hands on his hips. Guilt is clawing at him and he decides he canāt watch this situation spiral anymore.Ā
Seungcheol is kind of surprised when all of Y/Nās friends agree to meet. They pull together multiple tables in the diner so they can all sit together. Itās convenient in a way that Y/N is working tonight and that Jeonghan went straight to bed with a bottle of alcohol. Most of Y/Nās friends are not being cold, but Seungcheol and his friends agree they havenāt seen much of any of them lately despite how well they all got along before the semester started. This whole break up as driven a wedge between the two groups again and itās like they donāt know each other all over again.
Plates are mostly empty when Wonwoo finally asks Seungcheol, āSo, not to be rude, but why did you want to meet? You said it was about Y/N.āĀ
Seungcheol glances at his three friends that were with him last night. He feels bad because he hasnāt had the opportunity to fill Joshua in on all this. But it needs to be said anyway. āJeonghan and Y/N were not really dating.ā
The confusion is obvious across everyoneās face. Soonyoung is the first one to finally say something but it comes out in a laugh of disbelief. āWhat?! You canāt be serious about that.ā
āIām very serious. Jeonghan spilled the beans last night while he was drunk.ā Seungcheol confirmed and he was thankful when Mingyu, Jihoon, and Chan nodded along. He needed witnesses because he realizes how crazy all of this might sound.Ā
āWhy on earth would they do something like that?ā Seungkwan sounds angry.
Well, Seungcheolās familiar with that emotion so he matches it. āIt sounds like we all drove them to it.āĀ
āWhat the fuck does that mean?ā Wonwoo snaps.Ā
Seungcheol and Mingyu glance at each other and Mingyu shakes his head. He knows Mingyu must be feeling pretty ashamed at how heās instigated this whole thing because Seungcheolās feeling it too. Seungcheol bites back his pride and answers. āWeāre assuming that it started when we made the bet that he couldnāt date anyone.āĀ
āYou guys made a fucking bet about her?ā Minghao is raging and it gets the attention of the waitresses behind the counter and they share a look of anxiety. Seungcheol needed to take control of this fast before they get kicked out. He doesnāt think theyāll agree to meet again if this conversation ends now.Ā
āAnd I regret it immensely. We all do because we love Y/N now that we know her,ā he snaps. āAnyway, it doesnāt matter because the bet never went anywhere. She turned him down immediately. And then out of nowhere they were dating months later and Jeonghan said he had no interest in reviving the bet.ā Seungcheol huffs, crossing his arms and falling back in his seat. āLast night, he said it was to prove that he could do it and that it was even her idea.ā
āWhy in the world would she come up with something like that? What would she stand to gain from this?ā Junhui scoffs like he doesnāt believe it.Ā
āIt was something to do with Lee Seokmin, apparently. Whoever that is,ā Jihoon shrugs. Itās like a switch flipped. Some of Y/Nās friends sigh, some hide their heads in their hands, some close their eyes. Itās clear that name means something to them.Ā
āWhoās Lee Seokmin?ā Chan asks firmly.
They silently seem to nominate Wonwoo to answer and he huffs, yanking off his glasses to rub his eyes.Ā āHe and Y/N got together freshman year of high school. They were cute together. He seemed to have a good effect on her, brought her out of her shell some. And then last year, he abruptly announces heās landed a role abroad and heād be moving in a matter of days. He dumped her just like that. Nearly seven years down the drain.āĀ
āTell the whole truth,ā Minghaoās all but demands and after a long moment, Wonwoo continues though he looks like he doesnāt want to.Ā
āWe kept in touch with him so we knew he was dating one of his costars in a matter of weeks. But -ā Wonwooās planting his hands on the table in front of him, leaning forward. āYou guys donāt understand. Y/N was totally blindsided by the break up. We all were, really. The last thing we wanted to do was make it worse⦠so we didnāt tell her he was already dating someone else. That came back to bite us in the ass when he visited in November and she found out anyway. And then sheās suddenly dating Yoon Jeonghan.āĀ
Seungcheol bites his tongue at how Wonwoo says his roommateās name like a curse, but Mingyu doesnāt. āSo what? You can stay friends with someone like him but heaven forbid Y/N spends any time with someone else.āĀ
āYoon Jeonghan is so different from Seokmin,ā Wonwoo scoffs and everyone recognizes it for the insult that it is.Ā
āMaybe thatās a good thing.ā Itās the first time Joshuaās spoken this entire time. Heās usually soft about disagreements, usually playing the role of peace keeper and referee. His expression is anything but kind now and so is his voice. āYou guys stayed friends with someone that dumped your other friend after years and you think Jeonghanās the problem here?ā
āYeah, and howās he holding up? How many people has he slept with since this supposed ābreak upā?ā Seungkwan sneers.Ā
āNone.ā The answer is firm and loud from everyone in support of Jeonghan, because itās clear the table is very divided when it comes to him. Seungcheol is livid now because he knows Jeonghanās not a bad guy and never has been despite his old habits. Heās beginning to understand why Jeonghan felt the need to rehabilitate his image in such an extreme way.
āHeās turned away every single person thatās approached him, sometimes pretty brutally. Last night was the first time heās gone out all semester and he got absolutely trashed, which he was already doing at home on the regular anyway. Heās suffering. And you know what? So is Y/N. You think I donāt notice how she is around you guys now? She avoids you guys like the plague. Tell me, how much did you celebrate when she told you about the break up? Which, by the way, you thought was real until about five minutes ago. Did you celebrate in front of her or did you at least wait until she left the room?ā
Seungcheolās met with silence and he knows heās right.Ā
Mingyu scoffs. āMan, at least I donāt like to see my friends in pain.āĀ
Itās clear Team Jeonghan has won but Seungcheol doesnāt feel very vindicated by that. Heās about to get up and leave because this isnāt going anywhere. Even has his hands braced on the table to stand when Minghao speaks up. āHow do we fix it?ā
This gives Seungcheol pause. He remembers Jeonghan mentioning him, that he might date Y/N any day now. But Minghao looks very serious.Ā
āWhy would you do that?ā Seungcheol asks. āI hear you might be into her.ā
Minghao doesnāt look too put out by the implication and he doesnāt deny it either. āI want to fix it because I want her to be happy. Fake or not, thatās what they were. Now how do we help them make it genuine?ā
āAre you suggesting that we scheme just like they did?ā Jihoon asks, eyebrow raised.Ā
āIām not sure we can compete with their level of scheming. I mean, I donāt know at what point things stopped being completely fake but they were incredibly convincing from the very beginning,ā Vernon sighed. Seungcheol almost felt bad for him because, just like him, this was going on with his roommate right under his nose.Ā
Thereās a long beat of silence and then Mingyu sucks in a breath. āI think I know who could help, but it might take some convincing.ā
Minseo is not happy. Not by a long shot. She tried to ignore her phone when DO NOT ANSWER tried calling her not once but six times. Plus multiple texts. Her finger is hovering over the block button when her phone rings again.Ā
She gives him 30 seconds to explain why he was contacting her, but he only needs 5. āWe need your help with Y/N and Jeonghan.ā
The mention of her former roommate is the only reason she pushes past Mingyu when he opens Jihoonās front door. āExplain,ā she demands, arms crossed. Mingyu has backed down from Minseoās anger every time they have to interact since they broke up, running away with his tail between his legs, but instead today he hands her an iced coffee, maintaining an even expression. It even looks like the right coffee order.Ā
āThank you for coming. Weāre all in here.ā She refuses to be softened by him and refuses to acknowledge the coffee. Instead, she followed him into the living room. She didnāt expect for the room to be so full. It seemed all of Y/N and Jeonghanās friends were on the same team today. Sheās afraid she knows where this is going.Ā
Mingyu leads her to an arm chair so she places her coffee on the floor and sits, crossing her legs and arms expectantly. āExplain,ā she demanded again.Ā
Mingyu bites his lip. āJeonghan and Y/N werenāt really dating. It was fake the whole time.ā
Minseoās eyebrows shot up. āOh, I knew that.ā
There are cries of outrage and shock around the room and Minseo rolls her eyes hard. If theyād all been better friends, they would have known too. Or it might have never even happened in the first place. Mingyu shakes his head at her. āWhat do you mean you knew? Youāve talked to Y/N recently about it?ā
āYouāre not in a position to make demands, Kim Mingyu. Iām here only because it involves Y/N,ā she bites. āBut if you must know, yes, Iāve spoken to her recently about it because Iāve known since the beginning.ā
āDidnāt you try to talk her out of it or something?ā Wonwoo cried, throwing his hands up in the air.Ā
āI asked some pointed questions about the motivations behind it, but I think they actually had some good reasons. You guys have kind of been assholes.ā She looks around the room and then rolls her eyes again. āOh, donāt look ashamed now. Iām not sure I even want to help you guys with whatever youāre thinking.ā
āBut someone needs to do something. We know Jeonghanās miserable and I think Y/N might be too, right?ā Seungcheol pleaded.Ā
Minseo presses her lips together. She wasnāt about to rat out Y/N but sheād been incredibly emotional in the days after the ābreak upā, even more so than the real break up with Seokmin. There were quite a few times this semester that sheād just show up at the sorority house because she had no one else to talk to about it or she needed somewhere private to cry. āYou could say that,ā she answers shortly. āBut what are you going to do about it? Theyāre really good at avoiding each other from what I hear.ā
āThatās why I called you. I know Y/N was the mastermind behind the Facebook group a couple years ago, but youāve gotten a peek into her mind. Help us plan something to get them back together, for real this time.ā
Minseo stares at Mingyu, totally perplexed. She canāt believe heās bringing up the Facebook group that publicly embarrassed him amongst so many women on campus - and she doesnāt miss how confused the rest of the room looks at the mention of it. She also canāt believe heās so invested in someone elseās dating life to the point of reaching out to her when it appeared heād written off dating entirely after they broke up. Finally, she scoffs in exasperation. āYeah, she was the mastermind, so I canāt hold a candle to her. You should have seen the other things she came up with. What you got was tame. And even if we try to pull something on her, sheās way too smart to fall for it. They both are. Their deal seemed pretty final from what I can tell, so maybe we shouldnāt meddle.ā
āIt shouldnāt be final if Jeonghanās in love with her. We should try something,ā Jihoon insisted.Ā
Minseo blinks. āHe said that? Heās in love with her?ā A few people nod, most of Jeonghanās friends to be exact. Minseoās purses her lips. āFind me a whiteboard. A big one.ā
Thirty minutes later, Seungcheol and Mingyu are placing what she requested in front of her. It looks suspiciously like the ones the university supplies in study rooms in the dorms. Minseo bites back a laugh. Y/N got one of these off the wall, into the elevator, and into their dorm room single handedly a couple years ago without getting caught and both boys look a little out of breath now bringing it in from the car together. It speaks to the determination Y/N had to help Minseo get revenge back then.
Mingyu lets a handful of dry erase markers roll into Minseoās hand and steps back. Theyāre watching her with baited breath and she canāt believe theyāre so invested and that sheās agreed to help. With a resigned sigh, she uncaps a pink marker, sitting cross legged in front of the board. āWe should start with status updates. How theyāre feeling, what theyāre doing, what their schedules look like.ā
To their credit, everyone is fully committed, giving updates to their friendsā current situations. Minseo doesnāt miss that Seungcheol knows way more about Y/Nās side of the board than her own friends do. Itās a glaring sign of the neglect that they need to come face to face with. This is about getting Jeonghan and Y/N back together, yes, but there are some friendships to repair too.Ā
Then Minseo asks for ideas. Vernon scratches the back of his neck as he offers, āCouldnāt we just lock them in a room together until they work it out?ā
Minseo snorts. āVernon, are you reading fan fiction?ā None the less, she writes down āforced proximityā. Ideas begin to flow and Minseo believes none of them are all that great, but theyāre really trying here. They offer things like setting them up on a blind date, saying one is in trouble to get the other to find them, and waiting for one of them to get sick so the other can take care of them. There are a lot of things on the board but Minseo thinks theyāll both be suspicious of every single one.Ā
Chan groans, head in his hands. āI canāt believe Iām saying this, but what about fake dating? It worked on us, didnāt it?ā
Minseo thinks itās an absurd idea. āJust how would we go about that? They wrote the whole book on this thing. Literally. Iāve seen their notes.āĀ
āI mean⦠Jeonghanās not going on a date. He flat out refuses to do anything with anyone. But would Y/N? If the right person asks? Maybe it would prompt Jeonghan to do something.ā Chan shrugs.Ā
After a beat of silence everyone turns to Minghao. His eyes flare. āNo. Absolutely not. Iād do a lot of things for Y/N but Iām not interested in being a pawn in all of this. Itās cruel of you to even suggest it. Plus, sheās not interested and she never has been.ā
āThatās not totally true, but I understand. This is already too messy,ā Minseo agrees, turning back to the whiteboard. She ignores the questions that come from multiple people and claps her hands loudly. āNo! No more hurt feelings here! Weāre trying to fix things!ā
Begrudgingly, the only thing they can totally agree on is forced proximity of some kind. Jeonghan and Y/N were inseparable before and if they have to be around each other some of that might naturally come back. Seungcheol doesnāt elaborate but he believes itāll work because he's seen them interact since the break up. They scrap the other ideas and decide to pray for a miracle.Ā
They had all underestimated the lengths that both Y/N and Jeonghan would go to to avoid each other. Itās been a month and not a single thing has worked so far. The first attempts are simple. Jeonghanās friends know his schedule and Y/Nās friends know hers now, and they try to make them mesh often. The two groups run into each other at the student union or on the way to class and stop to chat or plan to meet for dinner and drinks, but both subjects of their plot drift to the back of the group, make excuses that theyāre late to something, or simply canāt make it. This happens no less than five times and the team regroups to try a different strategy.Ā
The second one is pretty ambitious and takes some coordination and a little white lying. Joshua convinces Jeonghan to go on a triple date with him and Jieun. He says one of the guys had to drop out last minute and they donāt want Jieunās friend to be left out. Thereās absolutely no pressure to date -Ā just an opportunity to get out, chat a bit, and get some fresh air, food, and drinks. What Jeonghan didnāt know was that the second couple was Mingyu and Minseo, who only agreed to be seen together because they needed to rope Y/N in as well. Minseo had said she was considering taking Mingyu back and she wanted Y/N there as a voice of reason. Yes, Y/N would be that friend who would have been dateless if Jeonghan didnāt go.Ā
They all regret this strategy and think it was a terrible idea because itās so painful to watch how Y/N and Jeonghan both avoid each othersā looks and drink too much. They have to cut dinner short to take both of them home to sleep it off. They make the decision that they canāt use forced proximity if alcohol is involved.
The third and fourth attempts present themselves back to back and itās sheer luck. First, Jeonghan comes down with a cold. It knocks him on his ass for days and Seungcheol remembers that this idea was on the board at one point. He lets Y/N know that Jeonghan is really sick but Seungcheol has to go to class and canāt stay with him. He asks if she can drop in and check on him. She looks conflicted but hesitantly agrees. When Seungcheol comes home, Jeonghanās trudging through the kitchen and Y/N is nowhere to be found. āDid you make soup?ā Jeonghan asks as he looks into the pot on the stove top. Itās still warm.
Seungcheol tries not to look smug. āNo, must have been Y/N. I asked her to stop by since Iād be gone for a while. Didnāt you see her?ā
Jeonghan looks crestfallen. āNo⦠she must have come by when I was asleep.ā Despite saying he hadnāt had an appetite in days, Jeonghan has three servings of soup in one sitting and thereās something warm and relaxed about his expression when heās done.
As luck would have it, the next week Y/N comes down with food poisoning. Vernon comes back from class and realizes Y/N had never left for her own classes because sheās too busy with her head over the toilet. Wonwoo says Mingyu is suffering from it as well since they ordered the same thing the night before.Ā
Knowing that Jeonghan is home, Vernon makes the same excuse that Seungcheol did. He has to go, but could Jeonghan check on her while heās gone? Jeonghan hesitantly agrees. When Vernon comes back, he finds Jeonghan sitting on Y/Nās bathroom floor with her head in his lap. She seems to be asleep while he strokes her hair. Heās got his eyes closed too, head leaned back against the wall when Vernon knocks.Ā
Vernon asks if he needs anything, and even offers to help get her back to bed in case heās itching to escape. Minseo had insisted that straight up trapping them was the absolute last resort. Jeonghan declines and says heāll take care of it. Vernon doesnāt put his headphones in when he goes to bed, hoping to catch when Jeonghan leaves, but he falls asleep before that happens.Ā
Itās late when Jeonghan leads Y/N out of the bathroom with a hand on her back to steady her. He hasnāt said much to her since he came in a while ago. Just an āI got itā when her hair keeps falling in her face as she vomits or a simple āhereā when he hands her a cup of water to rinse her mouth out at the sink. But sheād been sick more than once and the cycle repeated. The same holding back of her hair, the same gentle rubbing of her back, the same cup of water. When there couldnāt be anything left to make her sick, he sat in the floor beside her and pulled her to lay down. Sheās not sure how long she slept but thatās where she woke up, his fingers combing through her sweaty hair. Sheās so tired that she canāt even cry at the feeling or be embarrassed.
Jeonghan helped her into bed and Y/N tried to grab his hand when he turned away. āAre you leaving?ā Her voice sounds terrible for so many reasons that she doesnāt want to think about much. Tonight is the closest heās been since she dropped that mug in January.Ā
Sheās so surprised when his lips turn up at the corners. āIām just turning off the light.ā She lets him go, and as promised, he comes back. Instead of laying down, he sits up against the headboard. His arm comes around her shoulders and she falls into him, head landing low on his chest. Sheās afraid to talk because she doesnāt want to run him off. His hand rubs her arm up and down soothingly.
āDo you feel better?ā He asks after a long time. He sounds sleepy. She thinks about Christmas break at his parentsā house when she hears it.
āSome. Thanks for coming to help me.āĀ
He hums and it vibrates under her ear. āIāll always come help you.āĀ
āReally?ā Y/Nās voice cracks weakly. She hopes he thinks itās because sheās been sick, but he squeezes her arm like he knows itās not that.
āYeah. I meant it when I said Iād give you whatever you want.āĀ
This conversation is starting to feel like ripping open an old wound but she clings to him anyway. āDid you think Iād want space?ā
āDonāt you?ā Heās so soft when he says it.Ā
āNo,ā she answers quickly, then she hesitates. āDo you?āĀ
There are so many beats of silence that she loses count and then he mumbles, āNo.ā He lays his head on top of hers.Ā
āMaybe weāre not so good at scheming,ā Y/N laughs, but it feels and sounds hollow.
A laugh rumbles in his chest under her ear but it actually sounds genuine, like he thinks of it fondly. āWhat are you talking about? Your plan was great.ā
āI donāt know. Phase three was pretty weak.āĀ
He hums. āHow so?ā He pats her hair soothingly.
āI guess we never talked about what comes⦠after everything. We just stopped talking, stopped seeing each other entirely.ā One hand is still on her head and his other hand finds her ring, spinning it as she talks. It spins and spins and spins and she thinks he might not have anything to say. So she tacks on, āIf thatās what you want, I understand. I just⦠wish weād talked about it first.ā
More spinning. So much spinning that sheās becoming dizzy watching it. She almost misses it when he mumbles, āItās not what I want. I thought itās what you wanted.āĀ
āNo, itās not. I missed you.ā It feels good to admit it. Jeonghanās still spinning her ring, so she keeps talking. āWe spent so much time together and then nothing. Itās been hard for me, Hannie.ā
Both arms wrap around her now. āI missed you too. I havenāt been myself lately.ā
Eventually, Y/N whispers, āHow would you like to proceed?ā She feels him smile into her hair.Ā
āLetās start over.ā Itās not a question and Y/N is elated. She sits up. Heās still smiling as he sticks out his hand. It makes her smile too at the familiarity of it all. Theyāve done this before and they can do it again. She places her hand in his and shakes.Ā
āHi, Iām Y/N. Would you like to be friends?ā
āIām Jeonghan, your new best friend. Nice to meet you.ā
The Y/N + Jeonghan group chat gets a text from Vernon first thing the next morning. āIt worked!!! Heās still here!!! Theyāre eating breakfast together!!!!!ā
Though very few recipients are together that early in the morning, thereās a lot of celebration. Soonyoung even gets the evil eye from his instructor because he received the text in class and let out a gasp.Ā
A minute later, Vernon sent a follow up text. āFalse alarm? They say they arenāt back together???ā
Vernon doesnāt have a good explanation for their questions because heās just as confused. They look just like they did late last semester, sitting at the table next to each other, talking, smiling. There are even small signs of affection. But when Vernon ājokinglyā asks if theyāre finally rekindling their relationship, they both say no.
The following month is confusing. Theyāre just like they were before, but maybe even worse. They spend every waking moment together outside of class, Y/Nās work, and Jeonghanās internship. They sleep over at each otherās apartments every night and are often found cuddling together. They start going to parties together again, but often sneak off for what they call a ālittle adventureā and no one really knows what that means. They post each other on their social medias constantly.Ā
The first time around there was something almost shy about how they were around each other. Now, that was not the case. They acted like they wanted to crawl into each othersā skin most of the time. There was the usual stuff like hand holding in a crowd, or Jeonghanās hand landing on Y/N's back or waist. Or when they sat next to each other on the couch or while they were out to eat, Jeonghanās arm quickly came around her shoulders and sometimes Y/Nās hand landed on his thigh.Ā
Then there was what Minseo had identified as cuteness aggression. One time, Seungcheol witnessed Y/N showing up at their apartment in a very oversized hoodie, sweater paws and all. Jeonghan had cooed at her, squishing her cheeks and calling her āso fucking cuteā. Another time, Jeonghan showed up at Y/Nās apartment with a new hair cut and Vernon witnessed Y/N squeal and grab his face while screaming about how good it looked. On both of these occasions, the person receiving the aggression would scoff and push the aggressor away with a blush. The aggressor would say, āYou love me.ā The person receiving the aggression would roll their eyes and say, āYeah, I guess I do.ā
Then there were the looks. Distinctive from the looks of adoration that theyād give each other when the other wasnāt looking (which still happened all the time), these were dubbed the āmind readingā looks. This usually resulted in pranks or cheating at whatever game they were playing with the group, but one particular time, Wonwoo was a victim of it. Like everyone in the Y/N + Jeonghan group chat, Wonwoo wanted answers. At dinner, he watches Jeonghan and Y/N pick things off each othersā plates and it makes him lose it. āAre you guys seriously not dating?ā
Y/N and Jeonghan give identical looks, eyebrows raised in amusement, when someone asks them this. āNo, why do you ask?ā Y/N asks evenly.Ā
āYou guys are grosser now than when you were fake dating. And I caught you guys having sex back then, so thatās saying something.ā
A hush falls over the table because theyād all agreed to not let Y/N and Jeonghan know that their secret was out. However, it doesnāt seem to matter because Y/N and Jeonghan share one of those āmind readingā looks for exactly one second before they turn back to Wonwoo and gaslight the shit out of him. Jeonghan just smiles and says, āI donāt know what youāre talking about, Wonwoo. That would be crazy of us to do.ā
And then there were the comments that gave the group whiplash. One day at dinner, Jeonghan is texting his family when he scoffs and turns to Y/N. āI think my mom likes you more than me.āĀ
Or when they were getting ready to go to a party and Vernon overhears Y/N getting ready in her room while Jeonghan hangs out. Thatās not unusual, right down to changing in front of each other. Y/N laughs about a bad hair day and says sheās going to look like a hot mess tonight. Jeonghan laughs and says, āNo, youāre just hot.ā
The shamelessness of it all has the group in front of the whiteboard at Jihoonās house multiple times throughout the month but they don't know what to do. Y/N and Jeonghan seemed so happy, maybe even happier than when they were ādatingā. They batted around theories. Maybe it was because their friendship was genuine while their dating wasnāt. Maybe it was because they were just better off as friends. Or maybe they were actually dating for real and hiding it.Ā
That last theory has them desperately planning one final attempt because they want nothing more than to celebrate their friends being together and the idea of them hiding it now causes hysteria. They all schedule a last minute spring break trip to the beach and Y/N and Jeonghan easily agree. They even make the drive together and Seungkwan and Chan are forced to sit in the back while Y/N gets passenger princess and aux cord privileges. When they all arrive at the beach house and decide sleeping arrangements, Mingyu asks Y/N and Jeonghan if theyāre okay with sharing a room. No one is surprised when they just shrug because theyāve slept in the same bed every night for over a month now.Ā
Throughout the trip, the group attempts to set up increasingly obvious romantic scenarios. They leave without waking them up in the morning, everyone tiptoeing out of the beach house so they can have a quiet morning to themselves. They basically sprint back from the pier or the restaurant down the block so that Y/N and Jeonghan have space as they walk slowly. When they grill out on the back deck at night, they intentionally play a slow song or two and are elated when Jeonghan pulls Y/N into a slow dance as they giggle. On their last night, they watch them sit on the beach together with Y/N leaning on Jeonghanās shoulder as they watch the fireworks.Ā
In the car on the way back, Seungkwan asks if theyāre finally getting back together and they say no. They seem to mean it, so the group decides that maybe its time to let this go.Ā
The Y/N + Jeonghan group chat has been silent for days since spring break when Joshua and Jeonghan hang out after class one day. Y/N is working which is probably the only reason Jeonghan agreed to meet. Joshua watches his friend closely. He does seem happy - the happiest Joshua thinks heās ever seen him, really. Joshua doesnāt want to ruin the mood, but he really has to know because itās beginning to drive him crazy.Ā
āHan, can I ask you something?ā Joshua asks and Jeonghan hums. āAre you and Y/N really okay? As friends, I mean?ā
āYeah, of course. Why do you ask?ā Jeonghan asks, but he seems kind of disinterested in the conversation, glancing between Joshua and his phone. Joshuaās sure heās texting Y/N, because he always is when theyāre apart.Ā
Joshua frowns, hesitating. āI mean, you said you were in love with her back in February. I just wondered if thatās still the case.ā
Jeonghan looks up at Joshua for real this time, eyebrow raised. āWhen did I say that?ā
āValentineās Day, apparently. I wasnāt there, but you had some things to say while you were drunk.ā
Sliding his phone onto the table, Jeonghan slumps in his seat, arms crossed. He seems lost in thought. āIs that how you guys knew about the fake dating too?ā Joshua nods in confirmation and Jeonghan hums, throwing his head back to look at the ceiling. āSounds like you guys might have been doing your own plotting. Donāt think I forgot about the triple date.ā
Joshua chortles. āYeah, we thought you two might figure that out. Look, Iām asking because if youāre happy with where things are at then weāll back off. Weāve all instigated so much of this mess. We were just trying to fix it.ā
Jeonghanās still looking at the ceiling and he doesnāt answer for a long time, so long that Joshua wonders if he even heard him or if heāll even answer. Finally, he sighs like heās resigned himself to something. He sits up and looks Joshua in the eyes. āOf course, Iām still in love with her. More than I was before, even. And Iāll give her whatever she wants, but I think thatās just friends at this point.ā
Joshua frowns. āHave you asked her what she wants? Maybe youāre misreading things.ā Joshuaās certain heās misreading things, actually.Ā
āI donāt know that I need to,ā Jeonghan shrugs. āSheās the one that came up with this whole plan. I guess she could have just dated me if she wanted to do that for real. I would have said yes because I was already into her.ā
Joshua gives an exasperated sigh, and Jeonghan just stares. āCan I be honest?ā He doesnāt really wait for an answer. āWe all think it was real. It might have started as fake and a lot of things were probably coordinated in the very beginning, but it seemed far too natural at some point. I mean, you guys looked so in love it was sickening, and thatās me saying that. You might be calling yourselves friends now like nothing happened but you still look at each other that way. Really, youāre even more shameless now as āfriendsā than you were when you were ādatingā.āĀ
Joshua puts his head in his hands, rubbing his eyes. Heād wanted to say all of this for so long that it feels like heās bursting at the seams now. āI canāt watch you fall apart again the way you were earlier this year. You wouldnāt eat. You drank every night to go to sleep. You wouldnāt go out, wouldnāt talk. When we did see you it was like you werenāt really there.ā
āThat wonāt happen again, especially if we just stay friends,ā Jeonghan insisted. Heās apologized to his friends a few times about how heād behaved in the first couple months of the year and for causing them to worry.
Joshua couldnāt help but scoff. āAnd what happens when she moves on and starts dating someone else? Can you stand watching that? Can you stand the idea of being at her wedding in five or ten years as a guest? Jeonghan, I want to believe youād be okay, but Iām not so sure.ā
āSo what do I do then?ā Jeonghan shakes his head helplessly and Joshua hates to see it. Like his fate is already sealed.
āIt depends. What do you want? What would make you happy?ā Joshua hesitates, but feels he has no choice but to add on, āWould you move on, too?ā
Jeonghan closes his eyes. It takes him a long time to answer but finally he shakes his head. āShe makes me happy and I canāt imagine moving on. I just donāt know how to get out of the friend zone that Iāve put myself in, even though itās far better than nothing. Remember, Iām bad at dating. She was the one that was good at dating and Iām just good at being in love with her. And no, I donāt know if Iāll ever fully recover from this enough to move on.ā
āNo, you looked like an expert in dating. Still do actually,ā Joshua laughed. āItās the asking out that might need some work. Let us help you,ā Joshua was practically begging.Ā
Jeonghan grimaced. āNo offense, but you guys arenāt great at plotting. Everything youāve done is pretty transparent. Besides, whoās āusā?āĀ
Joshua just grinned. āAre you free tonight?āĀ
When Jeonghan walks into Jihoonās living room later that night, he didnāt know what to expect but it wasnāt this. Everyone except for Y/N is here and they look very surprised to see him. He doesnāt respond to the questions because heās too busy reading the whiteboard behind Minseo. He wants to laugh because some of the things that are written down are ridiculous, but heās actually kind of touched and wonders how long theyāve been doing this. Despite the fact that their efforts were incredibly transparent, theyāve clearly been putting in a lot of work.Ā
āScratch everything, I have a new plan,ā Joshua announces.Ā
āAnd⦠that involves Jeonghan being here? No offense,ā Junhui adds.Ā
Joshua gives a bit of an uncharacteristically evil laugh. āYes.ā He goes to the whiteboard, taking the eraser from Minseo. He gets rid of everything on the board and then writes āHannie confesses to Y/Nā at the top. Jeonghan groans and almost turns to leave.Ā
āJoshua, when you said youād help me, I didnāt think this was what you meant,ā Jeonghan gestures to the crowded room.Ā
āJust trust the process! Weāre going to make this work.ā Joshua sounds so sure. Jeonghan frowns, looking around the room. They all look hopeful, honestly. Even Y/Nās friends that didnāt really like him. Seungkwan and Soonyoung separate to make room for him on the couch.Ā
He thinks of what things are like with Y/N now, and even what they were like when it was fake. It makes his chest ache. Because Joshua was right earlier. Not all of it was fake, certainly not near the end. And heās being driven by the same emotions now as friends. He wonders if it ever really was fake for him. Maybe he could have just asked her out at the diner that night instead of hatching their plan. Maybe she would have just said yes back then.Ā
He swallows hard. His pride is what got him into this mess, but now heād have to put it aside if any of these people could help him. He walked to the couch and took a seat.Ā
It turns out that all of their friends are hopeless romantics. Jeonghan watches as they practically fight over the markers to write their ideas, and those that wonāt fight over the markers just start yelling out ideas so someone else can write it down. Itās totally overwhelming the amount of choices heās being given and Minseo frowns at him when he stares at the board blankly. āJeonghan, you canāt overthink this. It has to feel natural, so some of this might not work for you and thatās okay,ā Minseo says, trying to ease his tension.Ā
Instead, he laughs. Laughs because Y/N had told him over and over again in the beginning that it had to be natural. Laughs at the absurdity of all of their ideas and how heād actually do any of it if he thought it would work.Ā
Then comes the crisis intervention because they must think heās losing it. Someone takes a picture of the board and then Minseo erases it so they can organize it better. Theyāre so meticulous about all of this that Jeonghan is kind of perplexed by how none of their other plans worked if this kind of energy went into it. They organize the chaotic list into date ideas, affection, romantic gestures, gifts, and domestic activities. They even argue about what something should be categorized as. For instance, Jihoon thinks flowers are gifts and Junhui thinks itās just a romantic gesture and doesnāt really count as a gift.Ā
Then they start asking him what he thinks. His mind is shockingly empty. He kind of expects them to laugh at him when he admits he doesnāt know, particularly Seungcheol and Mingyu who would have enjoyed this type of thing so much before, but instead they frown and start suggesting things even though theyāre already on the board and heās already read it. Buy her flowers. Take her on a date. Buy her a gift (this restarts Jihoon and Junhuiās argument all over again). Write her a love note. Vernon says he should just kiss her and get this over with. Jeonghan shakes his head, though heās definitely thought about it already, far before he walked into Jihoonās house tonight.
Ultimately, they give him the list and tell him to do what feels right. They also say that theyāll assist in anyway they can. They add him to a group chat so he can update them and he canāt help but scoff at the name of the group chat when he sees it.Ā
His mind is racing when he, Seungcheol, and Vernon meet Y/N at the entrance to their apartment complex. Sheās just gotten home from work and she smiles, asking how their night was. Jeonghan blindly follows her into her apartment and into her room. He blindly changes clothes, which heās started keeping here, and gets into bed with her. He barely even glances at her as she changes too, getting ready for bed.
āSomething on your mind?ā Y/N asks from her pillow.Ā
Jeonghan does what he calls his best āold Y/Nā impression and hopes itās convincing. āNo, Iām good. Just tired I guess.ā
āWhat did you guys get into tonight? Anything fun?ā Y/Nās voice is light, but he can tell she wants to prod.
āJust hung out at Jihoonās, nothing crazy.ā What a lie. It left a gross taste in his mouth because not once had he ever lied to her like that, but he wasnāt ready to admit how heād spent his night. Maybe if all of this worked out, they could laugh about it one day.
Y/N hums, stares through him for a moment, and then finally smiles as she closes her eyes. āFine, keep your secrets for now.ā Jeonghan scoffs, pulling her into him.Ā
āNothing bad, I promise.ā Heās not really sure if thatās the whole truth either, but he kisses the top of her head anyway. She falls asleep long before him and he sees the whiteboard filled with rainbow hand writing every time he tries to close his eyes.Ā
Jeonghan is starting to feel the pressure. Itās been nearly a month since that night at Jihoonās with the whiteboard and graduation is approaching in a matter of two weeks. For some reason, heād set this as a soft deadline for this little plan to be completed, whether or not it worked in his favor. Heād crossed off a lot of things from the listtheir friends had put together, and even some of his own when the opportunities had presented themselves, with little results.
One Saturday, they both were itching to get out of the house. Y/N had suggested they go to the park and get some sun. Jeonghan had offered to pack up some food for a picnic while they were there. While Y/N showered and got ready, Jeonghan asked the group chat if picnics were considered romantic. The overwhelming reaction was yes, accompanied by hearts and exclamation points, and even a voice message from Soonyoung of him screaming (or maybe sobbing, but Jeonghan couldnāt be sure). So Jeonghan took great care with what he put together while he gave himself a little pep talk. Most of it went out of the window when Y/N came into the kitchen in a sun dress, turning around to ask if he could help her zip it up. His heart pounded as he did it and he was thankful that she was too busy eyeing the food to notice whatever expression he was wearing. The day was nice, but he was a nervous wreck the whole time. She looked too pretty as she laid down in the grass and he felt like a teenager. It wasnāt the right time.Ā
On Wednesday night, they planned to have a movie night at his apartment. She was wearing his hoodie as she curled up on the couch next to him. He didnāt think much about it when he pulled her feet into his lap and started rubbing them. She sighed and sagged into the couch like she could fall asleep. Seungcheol came in and spotted them, and the excited look on his face told him that Jeonghan might be doing something right, even if he hadnāt realized it.Ā Before he could work up the courage to say anything, she was already asleep.Ā
On Friday night, Jeonghanās new lego set comes in and he canāt wait to put it together. Heād already told Y/N how excited he was for it to arrive, but he was even more excited when she showed up at his apartment that night with things to make dinner, saying that they could put it together afterwards. He was so distracted that she had to guide him through a lot of the instructions.Ā
On Saturday, theyāre at a book store because Y/N is itching to pick up a few new things. He patiently follows her around the store, letting her add books to the growing stack in his arms. While in line to check out, they look at the knick knacks near the register. He hears Y/N giggle and she points to a set of matching bracelets, one with a sun and one with a moon on it. āWouldnāt that be cheesy?ā She says, but her eyes are gleaming with something really special that makes Jeonghanās heart skip a beat.Ā
āYeah, about as cheesy as your ring,ā Jeonghan chuckles. She looks at it for a moment too long and he finds himself saying, āGet them. Iāll wear the sun one.ā
She gives him a playful look. āWhat if I wanted the sun?āĀ
āThen you get the sun. Go on,ā he insists, nodding his head at them. She picks up the bracelets, not needing anymore convincing. At the register, the employee comments on how cute they are together. Jeonghan beams when Y/N doesnāt correct her.Ā
The following Wednesday, Jeonghan is at his internship at the law office. Itās pretty mindless stuff, shuffling papers around and taking a few phone calls here and there, so he spends a lot of his time texting Y/N throughout the day. Heās surprised when she tells him she wonāt be going to class. Itās unlike her and heās immediately a little concerned. Finally, she admits that sheās not feeling good because sheās on her period. He almost texts the group chat to ask for advice, but at the last minute he changes his mind and texts his sister.Ā
So on the way home, he calls her and asks if she needs anything. After some prodding, she hesitantly asks for tampons. He immediately recognizes this as the Most Boyfriend Task heās ever been given and promptly asks her to send him what she needs. When he shows up with tampons in addition to some flowers and a slice of cake from the bakery, she cries. This night turns into the Most Boyfriend kind of night as he makes her dinner, throws a load of laundry in that she meant to do earlier, and cuddles her on the couch with a heating pad.Ā
When sheās just about asleep, he hears her say, āthanks for taking care of me.ā
Itās a no brainer to say, āyou donāt have to thank me. Itās what you deserve.ā
She snuggles deeper into his chest. āYouād make a great boyfriend, Yoon Jeonghan.ā
He finds himself laughing. āThatās all thanks to you. Youāre a great teacher.āĀ
She giggles in his chest sleepily. āI donāt remember this lesson. You came by this naturally it seems.ā Heās relieved that they can make references to how all this started without any awkwardness.Ā
He feels like this might be the right time, but it takes too long to give himself a little pep talk. When he calls her name out, she doesnāt respond, clearly asleep. He sighs, kissing her head.Ā
Then suddenly itās dead week, and then itās finals week, and everyone is so stressed by the end of the semester that now is certainly not a good time. Heās not stressed about that. Heās stressed about the whiteboard in front of him. Jihoon was kind of confused when he showed up unannounced but let him in anyway. He can feel Jihoonās eyes on him as he stares at the board.Ā
āNo luck yet, I take it?ā He asks gently and it makes Jeonghan want to put his head in his hands.Ā
āNo, itās never felt like the right time.āĀ
Jihoon is quiet for a long time, looking at the board with him. So many things are crossed off. āMaybe there isnāt a such thing as a right time? Maybe you just need to say it.ā
Jeonghan chuckles, but thereās a tinge of darkness to it. āWhat? Just say āI love you, Y/N. Iād like to date for real this timeā?ā He frowns when Jihoon shrugs.Ā
āItās a good ideas as any. Youāve been dropping hints for a while now. Maybe hints wonāt work.ā
āHow would I even do that? What setting could possibly be fitting for something like that?ā Jeonghan sighs in exasperation. There had been so many seemingly romantic opportunities and nothing had felt right.Ā
Eventually, Jihoon hummed. āHow do you and Y/N feel about heights?āĀ
Jeonghanās snapped to Jihoon. āWhat?ā
āI have an idea, but youāll have to trust me.āĀ
Jeonghan was feeling pretty desperate so what did he have to lose.Ā
Finals week is over and graduation was on Saturday. It felt like a whirlwind for Y/N to finally have a degree in hand, one that her parents had never been convinced she could get on her own without their support. If sheād listened to them four years ago, she would be abroad at some prestigious university that her parents had donated heavily to change her acceptance status for. She would be preparing for med school, or law school, or something equally prestigious to fit the family dynamic. Something that her father can brag about in between business meetings or her mother can rub in other rich ladiesā faces about while getting drinks at the country club. Sheād kind of expected that her parents might show up for graduation. As a sort of olive branch, sheād sent them an invitation for it. But they hadnāt shown up and that was just as well. Being disinherited and disowned was okay too.Ā
Instead, sheād been staring at her stupid English degree that she paid for by herself in the apartment that sheād paid rent for without access to the trust fund that had her name on it but had never had access to. And this apartment would remain hers for a while longer because sheād already applied and been accepted to the grad program of her choice at this very university and she and Vernon were renewing their lease.Ā
Things are good. Better than theyād ever been, really.Ā
Sheās still looking at her degree when thereās a knock on her open bedroom door. Lee Seokmin is standing there. Heād come in for the graduation, but Y/N kind of expected not to see him again before he left. He looks a little nervous, but he comes to stand next to her and look down at her degree too.Ā
After a long moment, he finally speaks. āIām proud of you, you know?ā Y/N stares up at him while he admires the diploma. Itās the first thing heās said directly to her since that day in the cafe with Jeonghan last November. āI remember how nervous you were when we started here. Worried about money. Worried about classes. Burning yourself at both ends to make it work. I worried about you a lot back then. Iām sorry I wasnāt here to see all of it work out until now.ā
āAre you?ā Y/N hopes the question doesnāt sound unkind, but sheās confused. She remembers how he was when he broke up with her. It was awkward, but in a way it was also unapologetic. Thatās what had hurt the most about it. Nothing she had said back then seemed to change his mind.Ā
āI deserve that,ā Seokmin chuckles, looking a little embarrassed as he rubs the back of his neck. āBut yes. I am sorry - for a lot of things really, more than just that.ā
āDo you regret it?ā She means the break up, but she doesnāt specify in case thereās something else. This is a wound thatās barely closed. She doesnāt want him back, wouldnāt even entertain the idea if he asked, but this conversation has been put off for long enough and itās time for some healing while heās brave enough to approach her.Ā
Seokmin still wonāt look at her. āYes and no. No, because I really needed to take that role. It was too good of an opportunity to pass up. But yes in just about every other way.ā
āWhat about Minnie?ā Her question is still not unkind, just curious.Ā
Seokmin laughs, finally looking at her. āIt didnāt work out, which is total karma for how I left things with you.ā
Y/N frowns. Despite being upset at how heād moved on so fast, sheād never wished him any ill will. She couldnāt after all the times heād had her back over the years. āIām sorry, Seokmin. That sucks.ā
He shrugs with a relaxed smile. āItās okay. Itās kind of awkward to work with her now, but thatās temporary.ā He chuckles again, looking around her room now. āYou know, when she found out I was coming to visit, she accused me of wanting to get back together with you.ā
This gave Y/N pause. This was a part of the conversation sheād kind of hoped to avoid. āAnd⦠is that why you stopped by?ā
āNo,ā Seokmin shakes his head. āI lost my one chance. Iāve just been too big of a coward to give you a real apology, which you deserve, so here it goes.ā He takes a deep breath. āIām sorry I threw our whole relationship out like that. I regretted it as soon as I was on the plane. Iām sorry I started dating just like that. And Iām sorry that little secret made it seem like our friends were picking sides.ā She must have looked surprised because he smiles at her shyly. āIāve been caught up on some things. Fake dating, huh?ā
Y/N scoffs, but itās not entirely humorless. āYou guys are such gossips.ā
āYeah, we are,ā Seokmin laughed and sheād kind of missed how joyful he was. Heād always been such a mood maker. Then his expression turns serious. āCan I ask how things are going there? With Jeonghan, I mean. You guys seem close.ā
Y/N isn't sure how to answer. She plops down on the edge of her bed. āThatās a good question.ā
āIām a good listener. Maybe I can help.ā That much is true. Seokmin has always been a great person to unload your worries on. Itās one of the things that made her let her guard down all those years ago, even though everything else in her life was bad at that time. When she doesnāt kick him out immediately, he rolls out her desk chair and sits to face her.Ā
Y/N spins her ring, staring down at it when the sunlight catches it. āI love him. Iāve been in love with him for a long time, I think. Itās never been like this with anyone, but weāve made such a mess of things. But now things are good. Heās the best friend I could ever ask for. I donāt want to run him off.ā
Seokmin shakes his head, chuckling. āI donāt think itās possible to run him off. Why donāt you just tell him how you feel?ā
āI donāt think heād be open to it. I mean, this is the man that agreed to fake date me after he lost a bet. Heās opened up so much since then, I donāt want him to slam the door in my face if I ask for something too serious.ā
āY/N, can I be honest?ā Y/N looks up at him and heās so serious. āIāve been hearing about you guys all semester. How love sick you were and how gross you guys are now despite not being together. And I saw what they meant yesterday at the graduation and dinner after. You guys look like youāre dating already. I mean the way he looks at you is like you hung the stars. And I know that look well because I used to wear it all the time.āĀ
Y/N spins her ring some more, looking at him blankly. āSo what do I do? You know Iām so bad at letting people in like that. I mean, it took years for me to say āI love youā back when we were together. And Iām just supposed to say it out of the blue now?ā
āBut youāve already let him in, more than you ever let me in from what I hear.ā Thereās no bitterness in Seokminās words. āHe matches your intellect, he makes you laugh, and he gets you in ways that I only wished I could. Iām kind of surprised to say it but Yoon Jeonghan is kind of the perfect match for you.ā
āYeah, it does feel that way,ā Y/N mumbled.Ā
Seokmin pats her knee a couple times and itās entirely friendly and comforting. āStop overthinking it. All you have to do is ask him and heād say yes.ā
āHow do you know that?ā Y/Nās mind is flashing to all of the times that Jeonghan said heād give her whatever she wanted. It had never occurred to her that he really meant anything literally.Ā
Now Seokmin is full on laughing. āBecause everyone does. Thereās a whole whiteboard about it apparently. Seriously, stop overthinking it. Youāll be happier for it. Trust me, I know you better than you know yourself sometimes.ā He gets up and leaves, but Y/N is frozen in place.Ā
Jeonghan wanders into Y/Nās bathroom midday to find her doing her makeup. She smiles at him as he sits on the closed toilet seat to keep her company. He thinks she looks really pretty in a little white sundress and her hair is already lightly curled. She doesnāt dress up like this much, particularly without all the grunge or black, and he wonders why sheās putting so much effort in for the fair tonight. He doesnāt ask because he doesnāt want to make it sound like he doesnāt like it or make her feel self-conscious about it. He loves anything she does.Ā
Instead, he watches her put mascara on with comically wide eyes and smiles. āYou look pretty.ā
She flashes him a smile that could stop his heart and then goes back to the mascara. āThanks. You look nice too.ā He doesnāt believe it because heās just picked some jeans and a t-shirt, but he thanks her anyway. Sheās unusually quiet, and it occurs to him how funny it is that he finds it odd. Last semester he was sometimes surprised if she even so much as looked at him, but now heās come to expect her usual chatter.Ā
āDoing okay?ā He wonders what it could be about. Sheād had a stressful last two weeks cranking out final assignments and stressing about the grade sheād get. Jeonghan had talked her off the ledge multiple times because she nearly had a 4.0 and was already accepted into her grad program anyway. She could relax because she was already set up for success.
He also hadnāt missed the way she looked around the crowd outside of the stadium where the graduation was held yesterday. He didnāt have to ask who she was looking for because all of their friends were already there. Heād seen that sheād sent her parents an invitation, but theyād never graced her with their presence, or even responded to her message.Ā
Jeonghan thinks his family may have made up for it. Despite the news of their ābreak upā after New Years, theyād greeted her warmly and even brought her flowers. Jeonghan wasnāt sure how theyād known she wouldnāt be receiving any from her own parents, but he didnāt ask. Maybe things were more transparent back around Christmas break than heād thought. It had made her happy anyway.
Y/N sighs. āYeah, itās just the first time I feel like I could relax in a while.ā
āYeah, I was beginning to worry about you,ā Jeonghan teased though it was entirely true. He didnāt like to see her stressed and had mindlessly picked up things like cooking, cleaning, and laundry in the midst of her panic. Since he couldnāt talk her into taking a break, he picked up other things she was neglecting and worrying about catching up on later.
āThanks for picking up my slack again. Boyfriend material yet again. No! Husband material even,ā she teases as she puts on blush now. He thinks maybe he sees a tinge of pink right before the brush actually touches her cheek, but he canāt be sure.Ā
But it doesnāt matter because heās trying to remember how to breathe. Her boyfriend material comments have become frequent, but the word āhusbandā absolutely floors him. The old Jeonghan would be running the other way now thinking heād be a bachelor forever, but he finds a little thrill in the idea of the title.Ā
Or a big thrill, if heās being honest. But only if sheās the one saying it and it has āmyā in front of it.Ā
He fiddles with his rings to distract himself. āJust doing what you deserve. I donāt mind taking care of those things if it makes things easier for you. Besides, we can relax tonight. Weāll get some food, play some games, ride some rides.ā
āYou donāt want to ride any rides, Hannie,ā Y/N teases.Ā
Itās true, itās not his favorite thing. But he remembers how her eyes lit up when Jihoon had mentioned the fair. The look was so childlike and pure that, once again, Jeonghan would do whatever she asked if she kept looking like that. Even if it made him nauseous.Ā
āDoesnāt matter. Iāll go with you anyway.āĀ
The blush is a little brighter all of the sudden, but she shakes her head. He thinks sheās trying to look busy because her make up seems done. āIf you puke on my shoes, Iāll be mad, Yoon Jeonghan.ā
He barks a laugh, standing up to place a hand on her back and push her out of the bathroom. āThatās Chanās job but Iāll let him know.āĀ
Jeonghan is shockingly relaxed considering where he thinks this night will end up. He and Y/N are the last of their friends to show up and the group has been impatiently waiting by the entrance to go in. Once inside, they go straight to the most aggressive rides because Mingyu insists that they front load all of these before they eat. Jeonghan suffers through all of the spinning and jostling and flipping, complaining that thereās no way all of these are up to code. But every time Y/N laughs at him and drags him by the hand to the next one.Ā
Finally, back on the ground, Y/N and Jeonghan share a funnel cake. When she brushes powdered sugar off his cheek, he can practically feel the heart eyes heās wearing. She doesnāt say anything about it.Ā
Then, they play some of the games offered at the stands around the fair. Jeonghan is pleasantly surprised when he actually wins at ring toss and letās Y/N pick what she wants. She picks a small plushie, a glittery pink unicorn, and Jeonghan just laughs as his chest warms.Ā
Itās dark now and he keeps looking at her as they stand in line for the Ferris wheel. The bright, flashing lights from all the rides around them lights up her face every now and then and he thinks this whole idea is so fucking cheesy. But oddly it feels right this time.Ā
As he helps Y/N slide into the seat of the carriage, Jeonghan spots Jihoon whispering to the fair employee thatās running the ride. Jihoon puts something in his hand and when he turns he gives Jeonghan a not-so-subtle thumbs up. So thatās what Jihoon meant when he said heād take care of it. Heās buying him time.Ā
The ride spins slowly and the view is nice, but heās distracted. Heās rehearsed what he wants to say over and over again with Jihoon an embarrassing amount of times but his tongue feels thick now. But he doesnāt know how much time he actually has up here, so he sucks in a breath and puts his hand on her thigh to get her attention.Ā
Her head snaps to his and after a split second her hand lands on top of his. Her eyes are concerned. āFeel okay?ā
Another deep breath, like heās jumping off a cliff. āI love you.ā The words roll off easier than he expected and he watches her eyes flare in surprise, mouth popping open a bit. He needs to talk fast now. āI have for a while now I think. I needed to say something because it was going to eat me alive.ā Sheās still quiet and sheās looking right through him. For the first time, she looks really surprised at what she sees. Jeonghan flips his hand from her thigh and she lets him thread their fingers together. āI donāt know how you feel about that, but I need you to know Iām okay with whatever you decide. Even if itās just friends. Even if itās less than that.ā
Sheās silent. It hangs heavy for so long that he starts to spin her ring. He thinks sheās trying to think a way to let him down gently. That sheās planning to leap out of the carriage as soon as it stops near the ground. That everyone thatās helped him at that damned whiteboard has misled him or had it all wrong.Ā
Jeonghan thinks of all the opportunities sheād given him to back out of their little scheme. He thinks the words are fitting. So he smiles nervously. āSo how would you like to proceed?ā
Her eyes are watering as she pulls her hand away. This is it, he assumes.Ā
But just when he is preparing to be crushed, her hands come around his face and sheās leaning in. The kiss is soft and he doesnāt know how to react. Didnāt expect this. Slowly, his hand comes around her waist and the other holds the side of her head.Ā
When she pulls away to look at him she laughs. āYoon Jeonghan, did you think I wouldnāt return your feelings?āĀ
āYes, Iām sure of it. Thatās not the case?ā Jeonghan feels like he could pass out because no matter what kind of pep talk he or anyone else gave him, this is not how he expected this to be going.Ā
She laughs again. āNo, itās not the case at all. I love you too. Very in love with you in fact.ā
Jeonghan feels his jaw drop a bit. āSince when?ā
āI was sure of it by Christmas. You?ā She asks, her hand sliding down to his chest. Heās sure she can feel his heart pound.Ā
Jeonghan laughs. āSame. Weāre idiots, huh?ā
āYeah, you could say that. I told you phase three was weak, but Iām wondering if the whole thing was weak now.ā
Their friends are cheering when their carriage stops at the ground and theyāre still kissing. Y/N looks shocked at the excitement. āHave I missed something?ā She asks after theyāre both out of the carriage with feet on the ground again.Ā
āMaybe a little,ā Jeonghan teases.Ā
EpilogueĀ
Y/N peers through the sheer white veil, a bouquet clutched tightly in her hands. She frowns.Ā
Itās because Jeonghan is laughing at her. āThis feels like deja vu a little bit, Y/N.āĀ
āWhy are you picking on me on today of all days?ā Y/N whines, hand falling to her sides, petals falling to the floor as the bouquet hits her thigh. āYou know itās been a stressful day. Stressful week, even!ā
Jeonghanās laughing again as he steps closer. His hands lift the veil and he places a soft kiss on her lips. No oneās looking at them this time around. āI know, Iām sorry. There are just some good memories like this. I saw her put the veil on you after you caught the bouquet.āĀ
āI told her I was already married. I shouldnāt be the one with any of this,ā Y/N grumbled, gesturing to the bouquet and veil.Ā
āYouāre the maid of honor, you have to do whatever she says,ā Jeonghan reminds her, putting a hand around her waist to pull her close. āHow are your feet? And your back?āĀ
āNot great. Iām ready to crash,ā Y/N slumps against him, trying not to get make up on his dress shirt. Heās lost the suit jacket hours ago and his tie is loosened. The whole look makes Y/N salivate a little. Instead she says, āI want some champagne.āĀ
āI know, baby,ā he soothes, patting the top of her head. The DJ comes to the mic before he can say anything else.Ā
āItās time for the bride and groom to cut the cake! Please gather around.ā
Y/N and Jeonghan turn, mostly with Jeonghanās help, to find the happy couple standing behind a tiered cake decorated with white and pink frosting. Minseo would not consider any other color schemes. It had to match the bridesmaids dresses after all.Ā
Y/N watches Minseo look up at her new husband, a finger wagging at him as she scolds him. He smiles good-naturedly, nodding along with her. Sheās surely warning him to not shove cake in her face. Y/N doesnāt think Mingyu will. Heās too soft for Minseo.
āWeird, isnāt it?ā She finds herself mumbling into Jeonghanās ear
He giggles in her ear. āYou could say that, yeah. Didnāt think Iād be at Kim Mingyuās wedding anytime soon. Or at all if Iām honest.ā They donāt say anything else as they watch the newlyweds cut the cake and share a bite, clapping loudly. Minseo looks pleased that she doesnāt have cake all over her face.
As soon as the crowd begins to disperse, Jeonghan is leading her to a seat and she drops into it, kicking off her heels under the table. āBetter?ā He asks, pressing a kiss to the top of her head, hands coming to her shoulders to rub gently.Ā
āYeah. What would I do without you?ā Y/N giggles.Ā
āHey, thatās my line!ā Jeonghan teases.Ā
Seungcheol approaches them with a wide grin and a plate in each hand. He hands one to Jeonghan and slides one to Y/N. She immediately notices that there are two slices and she looks up at him questioningly. Seungcheol laughs. āI know the rule by now. One for you, one for the baby.ā He walks away without another word.
Jeonghan is chuckling as he sits down next to Y/N. āThat is your rule now. Has been for a while now.ā
Y/N places one hand on her stomach and picks up the fork with the other. āThis baby is a parasite,ā she jokes. Jeonghan knows itās meant in jest so he just shakes his head.Ā
āI know. I feed your cravings daily, remember? That baby has some strange tastes already.ā He lets her finish her cake and when she sits back in her seat, his hand lands on top of hers on her stomach, feeling her matching wedding ring underneath his fingers. āYou know, Minseo will forgive you if youāre done for the night. The other bridesmaids arenāt six months pregnant and can handle it just fine.ā
Y/N pouts, glancing over to the head table where Minseo and Mingyu are whispering between kisses. She looks back at her husband. āMaybe we can just sit here for a while?ā
Jeonghan leans over to kiss her lips and it feels and tastes sweet. āWhatever you want, baby.ā
[ š©āā¤ļøāšāšØ ] kiss attack
# authorās note ⦠i dunno pookies just a random thought inspired by the first pic ^^
# summary ⦠surprising them with kisses OR pepper kisssonf their faces (out of the blue, mostly hehe)
# warnings ... some members might be suggestive if u squint, some r longer than others, not proofread (bare w me bc i wrote this in a car during multiple ocasions in my notes app w/o autocorrect so ! :D i know u love me guys heheheh)
![[ ] Kiss Attack](https://64.media.tumblr.com/b209cbd713859c1ca2ae21c0b6734074/2a5a526a7ce8b041-5f/s500x750/12303ad893dddfdc43dc588e2f667abaeeeaa68d.png)
![[ ] Kiss Attack](https://64.media.tumblr.com/adba8f0a33af4ebc1371ce43cb59df23/2a5a526a7ce8b041-51/s500x750/a152e2b7dc7529c5decb7e3ef58262c4f3a271b3.jpg)
![[ ] Kiss Attack](https://64.media.tumblr.com/906cec90c0fb90a4a2f4e8b3b2850beb/2a5a526a7ce8b041-3f/s500x750/034276ad9d79ac588ac0c17bb18bdeee03f6961a.jpg)
āå½” SEUNGCHEOL [ ģ¹ģ² ]
coming home late from yet another photo shoot, cheol desired nothing more than a warm bed and falling asleep with you in his arms. he tries to be as quiet as possible when entering your shared home, aware that youāre probably asleep. and his leader instincts are correct, the place drowning in midnight darkness. taking his shoes off, slipping into fresh pajamas, slowly but surely dipping into the mattress⦠and home, heās finally home. your sleeping silhouette is drawn next to him, only slightly lit up by the moonlight peeking through the window. just when he sneaks his arms around you and closes his eyes, ready to drift asleep, your body moves suddenly and thereās a quick but deep peck landing on his lips. then, as if nothing happened, you roll on the other side and curl into him. seungcheol feels his heart grow and fill with warmth as he falls asleep with a smile blooming on his lips and pink dusted on his cheeks.
āå½” WONWOO [ ģģ° ]
"hey, wonu?" you ask and peek your head through the door, only to notice him being busy with a video game.
"give me a sec!" your boyfriend hums and the only thing you can see are the flashing lights and images on his screen "is it important?"
"no, not really" you answer and walk up to him, noticing that he has one of his headphones off his ear to hear you. a habit he developed ever since you moved in "i mean, depends how you look at it"
wonwoo turns around to check up on you and then you attack. cupping his face quickly and planting a sweet kiss on his plush lips.
"bye!" you giggle and run away, leaving him frozen in place. heās too stunned to speak and too flustered to move, heart beating like crazy and stomach filling with butterflies.
"hey, dude, come on! weāre losing because of you!" someone whines in the voice chat and wonwoo takes a glance at the door, where you were moments ago. with a whipped grin plastered on his lips he shakes his head and returns to the pleasantly interrupted game.
āå½” MINGYU [ ėÆ¼ź· ]
mingyu was cooking dinner peacefully, focused on his task. mingyuās engagement in the kitchen was no joke, multitasking and executing the recipe on spot. which is why he didnāt hear nor see you entering his work space. better yet, he didnāt acknowledge your waltzing in and wrapping your hands around his waist. only when you gave him it a little squeeze. your man turned around, shocked pout on his face. to be fair, you didnāt want to disturb him. but pouty mingyu was just too adorable not to kiss - so you did, gently but quickly; his lips tasting like the vegetables he was cooking (and snacking on).
"what was that for�" he hummed and wanted to kiss you properly but you leaned away, resting your cheek against his broad shoulders.
"nothing" you mumbled incoherently and he came back to cooking, not noticing he just added too much salt.
āå½” VERNON [ ė²ė ¼ ]
you would think vernon is asleep at the first glance. laying in bed, one hand on his stomach and the other under his head. his eyes were closed and face was resting, chest rising up and down slowly. but occasionally heād reach and scratch his nose. he was listening to a podcast with his headphones in. and something just possessed you, it was like you had to cover his cute face with kisses or youād - not to be dramatic - explode. you climbed on top of him, cupping his face slowly. vernon didnāt even budge. then you started gently pepper-kissing his face, planting kisses on the most random places. your plush lips tickled him a bit but he didnāt really mind; just when you were done but still holding his face, he peeked an eye open.
"everything okay?" vernon asked. you just nodded and placed one more kiss on top of his nose, then left to continue with your day.
āå½” SOONYOUNG [ ģģ ]
"yah, kwon soonyoung!" your yell echoed through the practice room, causing all the members to halt. the said criminal turned with his eyes widened in pure terror. his mind raced with thoughts: did he forget something? did he do something? or didnāt do? recalling events from this morning, he failed to notice when you stormed right at him.
"iām sorry iām sorry im sorryā" he started whining, eyes scanning your face in search of bad signs but he saw a flash of mischievous smirk on your lips.
"you forgot this" you hummed and pecked his lips quickly with a loud 'mwah!' and ran away, giggling.
"that woman is crazy. sheās making me crazy. actually, weāre both maniacs" soonyoung murmured, touching his lips. his friends shared a laugh, looking at his whipped state.
āå½” JUNHUI [ ęäæč¾ ]
"hey, sleepyhead, wake up!" you whine as you tug junās shirt for the millionth time in the span of three minutes. your boyfriend decided to take a nap before you leave to the planned date but apparently he wasnāt keen on waking up. "jun!"
he mumbles something you canāt quite decipher and turns to his back, soft snores escaping his parted lips.
"fine" you sigh and straddle him, pepper-kissing his face. with each kiss landing on his features, you feel his smile grow. once you brush just against the corner of his lips, his smile is way too wide to pretend heās still sleeping.
"you did that on purpā" you start but arenāt meant to finish because junhuiās large hands grab your face and pull you in a real, deep and passionate kiss.
well, you take that as a yes.
āå½” MINGHAO [ å¾ę굩 ]
whenever minghao was meditating, you avoided to disturb him. not to lose balance and be able to focus⦠you closed the door and waited until he was done. but today you just couldnāt bare a second without him, your heart longing to be in his presence (even though you live together). hao had his eyes closed, focused on his breathing. but he did hear the soft click of door opening and then the sound of your food paddling against the floor. you tried to keep your volume down, certain that he did not hear you. before he could expose you, there was a series of kisses attacking his face. the feeling of your lips against his skin was pleasant but made him lose focus completely. before he could realize, you were already running off, giggling. minghao opened his eyes and looked around, shocked, and with the tips of his ears painted with red shade.
āå½” CHAN [ ģ°¬ ]
chan was sitting on the sofa, brows slightly furrowed and concentration all over his face. his slim fingers were typing at the speed of light, discussing something with his members. normally youād think itās something important but to be honest, you knew them too well. they were simply arguing what to eat for lunch tomorrow.
you were watching him, smiling subconsciously; he still made your stomach swirl with butterflies as if you were a teenage girl with her doorway crush.
and the feeling was just too strong to resist, you just had to kiss him.
so you got up and stood in front of him, not aware of your presence yet.
with a quick lean, you pressed a tender, loving kiss onto his plush lips. chan froze, fingers halting mid-air. he kissed you back and leaned away with a puzzled look.
"what was that for�" he whispered, blinking slowly.
"nothing. youāre just cute" you answered with a shrug and sat down next to him, opening instagram. chan, a little flustered, reassumed the lunch dispute
āå½” JEONGHAN [ ģ ķ ]
"youāre cheating!" jeonghan whines, a pout forming on his lips. you sigh, shaking your head with the cards in your hands.
"just because my cards are good doesnāt mean iām chaeating⦠unlike you, sneaky fox" you snickered and put another card on top of his. maybe you shouldāve known that playing uno with him wonāt end well but in the end, jeonghan is passionate about winning in every game.
"thatās literally not possible, how come you have three cards left and i have like⦠thirteen?!" jeonghan puffs his cheeks and places a green one card "i hate thisā"
you lean over the stack of cards and shut him up with a slightly aggressive kiss, nibbling on his bottom lip with a smug smirk.
you can hear him sigh softly and kiss you back. before he can realize, you put down your three colored ones and lean away, patting your things.
"uno⦠and, well, also no uno since i won" you smirked and jeonghan was left speechless, mouth open wide. whether you cheated or not during the game, it was an impressive win.
"no⦠but⦠thatās, thatāsā that was cheating!" he whines again but this time only to make you laugh again.
āå½” JOSHUA [ ģ”°ģģ ]
joshua was still half asleep when he was brushing his teeth, his hair sticking in every direction possible and eyes half closed⦠struggling to keep his head stable.
you just looked at him through the mirror, smiling at your boyfriendās drowsy state.
"do we have to get up so earlyā¦" he mumbled, barely audible due to the foam in his mouth.
"you booked the flight so early, not me" you chuckled and finished applying cream onto your face. you had to leave soon if you wanted to be at the airport early.
joshua answered something incoherent and spat out the toothpaste, washing his mouth with water.
he blinked slowly and caught your gaze in the mirror.
you just smiled and turned around, cupping his face. then you started peppering his face with gentle kisses everywhere: cheeks, forehead, nose, eyelids. and finally, his peppermint tasting lips.
"awake yet, sleepyhead?" you titled your head with a gentle smile and joshua nodded, a lazy smirk on his lips "good. iāll make us breakfast then"
and when you left the bathroom, he realized heād really feeling more awake.
āå½” JIHOON [ ģ§ķ ]
jihoon had his headphones on so he wasnāt able to hear you but he did certainly see you. a small smile painted on his lips as he was observing you pacing around the gym. while he was busy curling his arms, you were bored out of your mind and there was nothing to aggravate your boredom. itās not like you didnāt like accompanying him to the gym and watching him work out; no, quite the contrary. itās just that he was in his space and there was nothing interesting to do besides watching him. you peeked at him in the mirror and caught his eye on you. then, your gaze slid to his arms.
"hey, my eyes are up here"
your gaze snapped back to him and his cocky smile. heat rose to your cheeks upon being caught. you had to shut him up.
"i know youāre bored butā" jihoon started, probably to tease you, but was interrupted by your lips meeting his. he almost dropped the dumbbell he was holding but came back to reality once he couldnāt feel the plush of your lips no longer. "what was thatā¦?"
"go back to working out, smartass" you snickered and watched him be the flustered one now.
āå½” SEOKMIN [ ģ민 ]
"and then chan came out, fully dressed as pi cheolin! i swear, the sound of caratsā laughter made my day" dokyeom rambled. even though your back was facing him, you could still feel the gentle shake of the mattress due to his dynamic gesturing
"and i couldnāt help but laugh too! our chan is just so talented, maybe he should start an acting career! because i swear, itās like⦠chan is gone and pi chā"
as much as you loved dokyeomās voice, whether talking, singing or laughing, you just wanted to doze off after an exhausting day. but he just wouldnāt stop talking.
"āpossessed him! i swear i think my ribs got fractured after laughing so hard, he was just so into itā"
seokmin suddenly felt your lips crushing on his. the taste of your toothpaste exploded on his tongue, freezing on spot due to the passion of your kiss. it felt like eternity but in a good way; he kissed you back until he couldnāt breathe anymore. you noticed that and pulled away, this time facing him and burying your face into his side.
"i love you, kyeom, but for the love of mine please go to sleep" you murmured softly and he fell silent. not only because you told him to, also because his huge grin prevented him from further talking.
āå½” SEUNGKWAN [ ģ¹ź“ ]
"what a beautiful viewā¦" seungkwan let out a deep sigh, looking amazed at the panoramic in front of him. you were holding his hand and admiring it too.
it was a random tuesday afternoon and you decided to go on a hike on a nearby hill. and even though it was exhausting, it was worth it. pallets of greens and yellows sprung in front of your eyes, blurring with the cloudless, blue sky.
"this one is more beautiful tho" you hummed suddenly. seungkwan turned around to see what did you mean but you just pecked his lips and squeezed his hand with a cheeky smile.
"that was so cheesyā¦" he rolled his eyes and while you turned again to adore the nature, his eyes stayed glued to your face with amused smile.
masterlist <3
taglist. @mirxzii ,, @primoppang ,, @l3visbby ,, @nicholasluvbot ,, @planetkiimchi ,,
@weird-bookworm ,, @slytherinshua ,, @kazmura ,, @laylasbunbunny,, @mon2sunjinsuver ,,
@eternalgyu ,, @rubywonu ,, @mine-gyu ,, @nonononranghaee ,, @haecien
HELLO LINKING ARMS SUITS MINGHAO SO WELL he would definitely do that
pda preferences # seventeen
pairing: ot13 x gn!reader genre: fluff warnings: slight mention of alcohol word count: 1.3k
a/n: i had so so much fun with this (procrastinated all my college essays šŖšŖ), i know some of the examples are less pda and more general affection but i hope that can be excused lmao

seungcheol
if heās gonna give you a kiss, heās gonna give you a kiss, so be prepared for that
loves kissing the side of your neck so much, heāll get you in his lap simply for that purpose
heāll caress your face and wish he had another pair of arms to pull you in by the waist
whispers ābabyā in your ear like a dozen times just close enough for you to hear (and go absolutely insane), except dino sitting on his other side can also hear everything and is sending the biggest side eye to his hyung
jeonghan
hmm,, obviously heāll be silly at times but typically i imagine quieter pda, like tracing the veins down your hand and wrist or something
occasionally might⦠bite you⦠but will be very stealthy about it
you tried biting him back once and he made the biggest fuss about it smh life is so unfair
when sleepy heād like to rest his head on your lap, but if youāre sleepier heāll let you lean on him, not without complaints though (āthatās one heavy head you got thereā āshut upā āi love you tooā)
joshua
yk that phrase āknow someone like the back of your handā? and then youāre like, āi donāt know the back of my hand that well.ā well. shua knows the back of your hand and the front better than you, because when i say you two CANNOT stop holding hands oh my godā
the other guys are like āhey. so. i see that youāre. um. comparing hand sizes for the 93584th time.ā and youāre just like :D āhis are so large!ā (no innuendos š¤Ø)
he rubs his thumb over your knuckles just to soothe you, sometimes takes your hand up and pecks it, if he finally lets go of it that almost always means heās headed for your waist
junhui
heās so cat-coded istg heāll just quietly come up from behind you and nuzzle his head into whichever part of your body would be most comfortable
on the flip side, you love to make him cat ears with your own hands (think: junās 3 aegyo poses)
wiping sauce off your face and hanging his jackets over your shoulders are a MUST
you two are so lost in your own world, if youāre sharing a long, soft hug or heās adoringly cupping your cheeks and then somebody comes up to you, youāll both act as though youāve been caught red-handed lmao
hoshi
full-on cuddles with you, not an ounce of shame when heās literally pouncing on you (āsoonyoung, i cā canāt breatheā ājust ten more seconds like this please itās been forever since our last dateā āyou mean⦠one day?ā āONE DAY AND FIFTEEN HOURSā)
this wonāt be news to you but he is one expressive man, so pouts, giggles, and all types of hand hearts are being sent your way 24/7
itās not even about being touchy/clingy (i mean, sometimes it is), he just wants to say i love you in all the convincing ways possible
literally no one in your vicinity could go without knowing heās yours
wonwoo
loves fixing/playing with your hair! will tuck a loose strand behind your ear only to ruffle everything up when you do something especially cute
not the type to be all over you in public but takes care of you discreetly
brushes off your fallen eyelashes and tells you to make wishes on them
since his hands easily get cold i think heād like placing yours over his and staying like that for a while (one time you brought his hands up to your face and gave him little kisses on all his fingertips, of course that made him completely MELT)
woozi
not a lot of pda to begin with, iām sorry
but sometimes heāll tap little rhythmic patterns on your shoulder (if his arm is wrapped around you) or leg (if youāre sitting) and youāll go ājihoon that tickles!ā and heāll just smirk at you
this would be very rare but i can imagine a few moments where his inner aegyo would make an appearance just for you (mostly to cheer you up)
like say youāre in a bad mood heāll copy your pout and be like ā:( hereās your coffee, princessā
then youād immediately break into a smile and suffocate him in a hug
dokyeom
this man. please. you are the most adorable entity on earth to him. he will express this by all means possible.
and by all means, i mean EVERYTHING. he will pinch your cheeks. he will boop your nose. he will wrap you in the biggest embrace and lift you off the ground to spin you around.
if tipsy he will most certainly start kissing every single part of your face (brb gonna cry)
but then if you kiss him back on the lips heāll immediately turn into a ball of flusteredness
mingyu
back. hugs. we collectively agree on this do we not ??
no matter how tall you are iām sure mingyu has the āi want them in my pocketā mentality so big spoon big spoon big spoon
a bit difficult to explain but when youāre grocery shopping, heād have you stand on his feet while pushing the cart and kinda waddle along (?) until youāre like āyeah no baby this is gonna kill your feetā and heās like :(( āokayā
minghao
omg. this could completely be just a me thing but arm linking???? like when youāre walking outside heāll lift his arm up a bit so you can slip yours under and heāll take your hand in his and keep it in his coat pocket (stop iām actually devastated)
or like if youāre sitting together at a dinner with the members heād interlace his fingers in yours and place it on the table like there. theyāre mine.
the hand holding is also an unspoken invitation to rest your head on his shoulder, my god if you could see the shy grin on his faceā
seungkwan
just wants to wrap around you and keep you warm
his favorite thing to do is stand behind you and let his arms hang gently around your neck, not so much a tight hug as a quiet reminder of his presence
an extremely generous clothes lender (but always makes you return them)
like heāll give you his favorite navy cap or a blazer or hoodie and carefully adjust it so itās comfortable on you and admire you the entire time but then once heās walked you home heāll be like āyeah so iām gonna need that back IMMEDIATELYā
vernon
very likely to have a cool secret handshake with you
not huge on hugging and kissing but idk maybe heās in a giddy mood one day and at the end of the handshake he doesnāt let go of your hand and pulls you into the warmest hug ever
when saying goodbye i feel like heād plant a little kiss on top of your head
otherwise he just gazes at you with all the silent admiration in the world, forgets to listen to anyone else (mingyu calls him to the kitchen and seungkwan is like āskfjhgshhhh! heās doting let him beā)
dino
takes you to the practice room and āteachesā you choreos in front of everyone else (āteachesā = keeps his hands somewhere around your waist or on your back/shoulders the entire time)
just wants to show you off cause youāre that amazing :((
it would not be uncommon for him to run up to you and swoop you up to carry you bridal style in broad daylight (mom i love him)
i also think heād be very into head patting and would pet your hair all the time (especially if youāre shorter), if youāre taller heād love to be on the receiving end
just saw someone refer to their significant other as their āfavorite soup on cold daysā and I think I need to lie down for a bit
āwhat if crabs think that fish can fly?ā
your question is whispered into the darkness of your bedroom ā you gazing at the ceiling thoughtfully, while jeonghan curls up beside you.
your boyfriend scrunches his nose at you. āangel, itās two in the morning,ā he murmurs, bleary-eyed.
āis it?ā you donāt sound that interested, still preoccupied with your thoughts. ābut what if pets name people?ā a small gasp, and you turn to face him. āwhat do you think kkuma named coups?ā
āpabo?ā he suggests half-heartedly, before poking your forehead. āenough crazy questions, baby. letās sleep now, okay?ā
you stifle a yawn as he drapes an arm around your waist. ātheyāre not crazy questions, though,ā you protest half-heartedly, pulling away to frown at him.
āno, theyāre very important questions,ā jeonghan agrees, clearly just humouring you so youāll let him pull you close and guide your head to his chest. āthe most important.ā
āare you teasing me?ā you complain sleepily; he laughs softly, kissing the top of your head.
āmaybe a little,ā he admits, the corners of his lips lifting into an amused smile. āi guess thatās what happens when you talk about flying crabs at two in the morning.ā
you speak into his chest, muffled and slurred with exhaustion. āyou just donāt get it, hannie,ā you grumble, waving your hands vaguely.
āmm,ā jeonghan hums in agreement, his voice softening as he sees your eyes closing. you try to force them open, but he passes a gentle hand over your forehead, breathing a quiet, ājust sleep now. goodnight, baby.ā
thereās a pause, where he checks that youāve finally fallen asleep with a fond smile on his face ā then kisses your forehead with a soft murmur. ādream only good things, okay?ā

an / itās actually 2am over here. could not sleep and was thinking about whether crabs think that fish can fly because my friends and i were talking about it earlier today š and then this just⦠appeared. anyway. goodnight!
Iāll say it. I think cuddling with Primo in the evenings would be the best thing ever. Heād be prepared with some hot chamomile tea and extra soft blankets waiting in the bedroom, a book to read to you or some crossword puzzles and a pencil, perhaps an old black and white movie playing if you prefer some background noise. Heās a bit cheeky so heāll let his hands roam your body but thereās no intent to go any further, heāll playfully pinch your butt from time to time to revel in the little shriek you let out and the adorable way youāll pout at him waiting for your sweet rectifying kiss. Heās warm and soft, smells of herbs and incense and voltaren pain ointment. If he falls asleep first he snores softly and you have to adjust him so he wonāt wake up in pain, if you fall asleep first he lets you stay curled up on his chest despite the pain heāll feel in the morning. Itās beautiful.









Jean Smart accepting the 2021 Emmy Award for Best Actress in a Comedy Series for HacksĀ (and her co-star Hannah Einbinder being absolutely in love with her.)
Where Roses Bloom


Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x fem!reader/OFC
Prompt: Iāll keep you warm. Hold me closer
Note: Thank you for sending this in. This was pretty gay wasnāt it
Warnings: soff
Genre: FluffĀ
Count: 1587
ā¶ā·ā¶ā·ā¶ā·āā¶ā·ā¶ā·ā¶ā·
Youāve always liked summer. You loved the warm breeze on your skin, the smell of fresh flowers, and clear skies.Ā
Thereās something about the long days and short nights that puts you at ease.
āHey,ā A voice from behind comes before they sit down.
You look slight up to see Natasha settling next to you, hanging her feet off the ledge and slightly dipping into the lake.
Keep reading
Hellooo can i ask for 10 or 11 from the second scenario list?? For natty <3 - š¦
i hope you enjoy anon! i chose number 11 :)
Send in your own saturday blurb!
āNot sick.ā You pouted, refusing to swallow the pill Natasha was trying to give you. You squeezed your stuffie, Mr. Bubbles, closer to your chest. āMommy I don even feel that bad! I hate pills.ā You whined, frowning when Natasha just sighed.
āLittle one, youāre clearly sick. You have a fever, youāve been sneezing and coughing all day- you need medicine. Now come on, be really brave for mommy and take your pill.ā Natasha said firmly.
āFine.ā You tried to show your anger about it, but instead was rewarded with a coughing fit. Natasha frowned, rubbing your back softly. āI fine, jus tired.ā You lied, āStill wan to go to the park.ā
Natasha scoffed, āMunchkin, there is no way youāre leaving this house toddy. Now take your medicine, Iāll go find those cherry cough drops you like.ā You rolled your eyes but swallowed the pill down with apple juice.
Before the redhead could leave, another coughing fit came up- which had her rushing back to your side. āMommy, my chest hurts.ā You whined, tears flooding your eyes. āAnd Iām hot but too cold.ā
āOh baby, itās going to be okay. Mommyās going to take care of you. Just rest your eyes, Iāll make you soup.ā Natasha promised, giving your forehead a gentle kiss.
AW, MY HEARTS GONNA BURST, THIS IS ADORABLE

Coffee, Pancakes for Two
Natasha Romanoff x Reader
This is based on this request
Note: Keep Driving is 100% my fave song on Harryās House so I was excited to get this request! I hope yāall enjoy this fluff!
Natasha Romanoff Masterlist, Main Masterlist
You wake up to the feeling of your girlfriend stirring next to you. When you roll over sheās on her phone and you move to bury your face in her neck.
āWhat are you doing?ā You sleepily ask her.
āNothing,ā she says with a funny lilt to her voice. āDid you sleep well?ā
āI did. Did you?ā
āYeah. I always sleep well next to you, detka,ā Natasha says. You softly kiss her neck and she sighs contentedly before pulling you closer.
The two of you lay there for a while before Natās phone dings and she unceremoniously rolls out of bed. You reach for her and she kisses your cheek before leaving the bedroom.
When she comes back, sheās got a bag in her hands and a smile on her face.
āYou know Iām not a chef, but I wanted to get you breakfast in bed. Or I mean we can eat in the kitchen if you want-I just wanted to-ā
āItās perfect, Natasha. Youāre so amazing, my love,ā you say as you stand up out of bed. You pull her in for a long kiss and sheās almost giddy when you pull away.
The two of you go to the kitchen and she sets out the food. You canāt help but laugh at what sheās ordered.
āNat, did you order the food from the song?ā
āI donāt know what you mean,ā Nat answers with a knowing smirk. She sits next to you at the table. You hold her hand.
āAre you sure? Because what I see here is-ā you start but Natasha cuts you off singing the song.
āMaple syrup, coffee, pancakes for two, hash brown, egg yolk, I will always love you,ā she sings softly and you could cry at how adorable she is. She kisses the back of your hand softly and your heart flutters.
āThank you, Natasha,ā you say before you kiss her. āI will always love you too. And I didnāt know you even knew that song.ā
āOf course I do. You only play it all the time, y/n,ā Natasha says.
You laugh and enjoy your breakfast with her. You are overwhelmed with love as you think about her being the kind of person who orders you breakfast based on one of your favorite songs.
You will always love her.
Tag List: @gracebutnotgraceful @i-wished-for-you-too @idkwhygregg @romanoffscottage @be-missed @likefirenrain @hehehehannahthings @mythosphere-x @readings-stuff @xxxtwilightaxelxxx @madamevirgo @milfloverslut @yelenabelovaisthebettersister @mrswidowjohansson @alotofpockets @wandassitcom @ggrangerdanger @marvelwomen-simp @maia-lightwoood @mortallytremendoussandwich @xxromanoffxx @peanutbutterprincess @karmasgxrl @picnicmic @wandaslittlewhore @exhaustedfangirl @when-wolves-howl @natashalovers @marie45019 @inluvwithfictionalwomen @sammi1642 @itsyourgirlmalise @jujuu23 @the-night-owl-blr @strangegardentaco @avatarsnips @romanoffswoman @natashasilverfox @imthenatynat @natasha-danvers @sayah13 @harleysincairo @rach2602 @cordyandbilliehavemyheart @lovelyy-moonlight @thenazwife @blackwidow-3
between the nylon and the fleece
Eddie turns on his side, faces Steve too, big brown eyes barely visible in the dark. Steve can tell theyāre taking him in, studying his slight frown, the downward curve of his mouth. He thinks Eddie might say something, do something, and he feels compelled to freeze, to stop breathing, to stop blinking, so he can see the moment it happens. All he finds is Eddieās hand rising towards him slowly, resting on his forehead. Makes Steve close his eyes and swallow the disappointment. āDoes it still hurt?ā Eddie asks. So much, Steve wants to say, thinking of the vast, tiny living room and the hand on his forehead and how his entire body aches with a need to feel it everywhere else, on his cheek and below his jaw and around his waist andā āNo,ā he says instead. Itās a lie; he hurts all over. Itās not a lie; the near-headache is gone.
steddie | friends to lovers | hiding in the room where all the coats are at the holiday party | not actually a christmas fic | first kiss | confessions | 2.8k
read on ao3









ŹÉŖį“į“ į“Ź Źį“ŹŹį“É¢.
Pregnancy Cravings | Toji Fushiguro ~ the one where he tries your odd cravings
āā pairing: toji fushiguro x fem! wife reader
āā mentions of: reader is pregnant, anything pregnancy related, super fluffy, weird food combinations(?), toji is a lil meanie but heās a good man here
note: iām trying to get back into writing so iām posting this draft i never finished
āāā¦āā¦āā āāā¦āā¦āā āāā¦āā¦āā āāā¦āā¦āā
Toji Fushiguro loves you with all heās got and thatās a fact. He knows you like the back of his hand because you molded yourself into his and megumiās life. So when you told him that youāre pregnant, he was practically holding back tears because he finally made what he wanted with you true.
Now going back to him knowing you like the back of his hand, that changed when you got into your second trimester of your pregnancy.
Your food cravings were the bane of his existence because of how much it changed your food choices. The things you used to like made you sick in an instant. The smell of pork belly bowl used to make your mouth water and now you turn green then run to the bathroom.
And donāt get him started on the weirdest shit you put together and that shouldnāt be together.
One time it was peanut butter and chicken. Another was vanilla ice cream with bacon bits on top, specifically from the diner that you and toji take megumi to during lunch. And this recent snack was another added to the list.
It was the ass crack of dawn when Toji woke up to hearing cupboards opening and closing, along with the fridge. He sighed as he rolled onto his back to see if you were awake but it turns out that you werenāt even in bed. To him that was an immediate sign that you woke up hungry and craving.
He throws the blanket off before getting out of bed to walk towards the kitchen. And sure enough, there you were eating a spoonful of god knows what.
āDollā¦,ā he quietly calls to you.
You let out a little squeak in surprise hearing the manās deep but hot ass voice from behind you. āYou scared me,ā you whine with a pout.
Toji smiles as he walks towards you and sees a bowl in your hands and glides his hands on your hips. āWhat are you eating so early in the damn morning?ā he grumbles.
āWatermelon,ā you say as you lift the fork with a piece of watermelon to his mouth.
But thereās something on the watermelon. Toji doesnāt hesitate to form a scowl on his face seeing that thereās white stuff on top of it. āThe fuck is that?ā he deadpanned.
You roll your eyes because heās being dramatic. āItās good, trust me,ā you say.
āThat didnāt answer my question, babydoll.ā
āWell, it tastes good so try it,ā you bite back.
The man doesnāt trust you one bit because you crave weird shit but he canāt say no to you. So he silently answers you by taking the piece of fruit in his mouth.
And sweet god did that taste GROSSā¦
Toji spit it out into the sink he was next too before he could even get another bite in. āWas that fucking mayonnaise?!ā he whisper-yelled, āFuck, that was sour!ā
You roll your eyes with pout because he was being unnecessarily dramatic and a bit mean. āYeah, itās that Kewpie mayonnaiseā¦,ā you say quietly.
āGod, that was fuckinā nasty,ā he sighs aggressively as he grabs a water bottle to drink out of, āHow can that taste good to you?ā he says as he turns back to you.
You look up at him with a deeper pout. āWhy donāt you ask the child thatās growing inside me. Jerkā¦,ā you mumble the last part before waddling away with the bowl in your hands.
Your husband aggressively lets out a sigh as he rubs his eyes with the ball of his palms. āItās too early for this,ā he mumbled as he began to follow you out to the patio of your backyard. He leaves the screen door open to listen for Megumi as he sees you bundled up in the comfy lounge chairs eating the god awful snack in your hand.
He walks towards you in big strides as you ignore him and keep your eyes on on the backyard. He stands next to you waiting for you to acknowledge him but you still ignore him. You know heās seething in his mind right now because he hates the silent treatment. It continues for another 45 seconds till a squeal was pulled out of you as Toji effortlessly picks you up just to sit himself back down on the chair with you on his lap.
And damn it, the man was warm. You didnāt bother to fight out of his hold because you chose to cuddle right into his chest. You nuzzle your forehead into his neck and position your fuzzy socked feet in between his thigh and the dip of the chair. You keep the bowl of watermelon on your lap to continue eating.
Toji was pulling the blanket that was covering over you to fit both of you as you got comfy on his lap. One of his arms wrap around your round tummy oh so gently to get you as close to him as possible. His other arm wrap around your legs to keep your lower half warm.
āIām still mad,ā you mumble softly as you shove another piece of watermelon in your mouth.
āI know, baby,ā he smiles softly feeling you chew with your cheek against his chest, āIām still a jerk but donāt be a brat and sit out here without me in the cold.ā You smile at his āapologyā as you continue eating with silence. Then you hear Toji sigh before he speaks again,
āJust so you knowā¦Iāll always be grateful that youāre my wife and the mother to both my kids.ā
āāā¦āā¦āā āāā¦āā¦āā āāā¦āā¦āā āāā¦āā¦āā

bad babybriel doodle before going to bed