Cptsd+ADHD+autism Is Like Having The Urge To Always Be In "fuck It We Ball" Mode Except I'm Afraid Of

cptsd+ADHD+autism is like having the urge to always be in "fuck it we ball" mode except I'm afraid of the results until I suddenly do it anyway

I want the freedom of calm

don't worry guys, the first 8 billion of rejections are just warm up

nobody with a actual sense gives a single fuck if you like men and I'm tired of this narrative

don't get me wrong, I'm fully aware about the existance of actual homophobic who refuses to open their minds but that's not the point

you know WHY exactly there are people who dislike you. Nobody likes being around someone who only knows about gossipping and talking about the same fucking celebrities (which btw are only liked by LGBTQ+ community but that's for another day) LOUDLY and still thinking it's actually a relevant topic. Nobody likes being around someone who only knows talking about the amount of guys he sleeped recently and still think people are just "close minded" even if anybody with a single fucking sense would just say it's disgusting and that it shows how empty and hollow you are

I know it's hard to distinguish between a specific hate towards what makes you being you and just people disliking you with actual reasons but c'mon, don't be the exact stereotype people actively hate and even dirty the image of gays who aren't even remotely similar to you

phew, I honestly feel my chest lighter

also you can apply it to women just by changing few things and honestly it would fit 'em perfectly

Oh and you know what else I never mention that trauma causes? Breathing problems. Not being able to take a deep breath, trying and immediately breaking down and ending in hyperventilation, randomly losing breath or starting to pant in panic and shock, physically trembling and jerking and shaking as a result of not being able to catch your breath. Feeling suffocated and like there’s no oxygen, always needing to have a window opened, feeling crowded and unable to breathe whenever you’re in room with people, running out of buildings and stores because you can’t find the air.

Heart palpitations, so loud, you can sometimes hear parts of your body pulsing and pounding and it’s not even where your heart is, you can feel it in your hands, your neck, your back, it’s horrid.

Overheating without noticing, having your blood pressure drop so low you faint easily and just collapse whenever you try to stand up, feeling dizzy and weak and sleepy all the time because your circulation is crap. On the other hand, absolutely freezing whenever overcome with anxiety, feeling like nothing could possibly warm you up and shaking even under a hot showe or wrapped in every blanket you own.

Dry mouth, sore throat, feeling of thirst that water doesn’t satisfy, whenever you wake up. Jaw so rigid you develop aches and pains in your teeth, neck and head.

These can be caused by trauma so if you struggle with this and you don’t know why it’s happening, trauma might be why. Also, it does get better with time, and as far as I know, it doesn’t cause further damage to your body (at least in my case, all of this became milder and less frequent.)

reblog if you were traumatized by abuse, and you would never, under any circumstances, do that to another human being