Oh My Gosh, If This Ain't Me-

oh my gosh, if this ain't me-

we don't talk about that side of csa trauma of where you are so scared of being a predator everytime you have any type of sex

like i think it is because of how much csa victims are villanize, because if you mention to somebody that someone had any type of sa or csa they inmedietly think "they are going to repeat the cycle"

i thought of this bcs i was again flirting with somebody and my first thought was "omg what if I'M A PREDATOR????" even tho the person is my same age and following with me along and saying they consent to go to the next level like damn💀 internize victim blaming is crazyyyy fr

🔥 has been encouraging us through messages to post as ourselves on here.

So hello! I'm.. not meant to say my name? Eh, name's Link, but I go by Wild too. Introject from, Surprise-surprise, the Legend of Zelda, specifically breath of the wild/tears of the kingdom, however I have been around in our system since...well, it was Twilight Princess and Link's Crossbow training on the Wii and the body was much shorter!!

Please bear in mind I have had time to come to terms with being an introject and have had a significant amount of time to research DID to understand it better (isn't the human brain fascinating?), and to research and learn what is considered fact/fiction to this world.

Do what you will with these

Introject thoughts and stupid things I've done

- I miss home. Always. Constantly. I have a constant longing for a home that... supposedly doesn't even exist. And no one to talk about it with.

- doubting my legitimacy because home feels SO real, but it not being real here.

- finding my source is not only a video game but a whole bunch of stories written by random strangers who..know too much about me- I picked up an eating disorder and sexual trauma from a fanfiction someone in our system read! (Apparently the system already has them, but still..)

- I shut down incredibly hard when I was told I'm not at home originally..

- having to mask who I am, more than just being a system. I've had to change my phrasing of "that reminds me of that time at home" to, give or take "that reminds me of a game". It's the worst stab to the heart I've ever experienced.

- Body tolerance for exercise: if you know anything of Zelda, I spent a LOT of time running around Hyrule, and my fitness levels were.. well above what our body is. I get winded and wheezy so fast now! And I hate it! And hylia forbid I try to climb something!

- I feel terrible for every time I made comments on periods being "not that bad". Now I've experienced one first hand, I can understand why Zel got emotional and desperately clingy if she was bleeding (I started calling periods the blood moon and our system has picked up on it!)

- chronic pain is terrible. I always had slightly achy joints, but experiencing chronic pain, even with the number of injuries I had, is still dreadful.

- ........please, I forget I don't have a p3n1s. Standing up to pee is not going to happen, at least not tidily. Same with literal toilets.. I still- don't- like them. 😅

- Not knowing what memories are body memories and pseudo memories built by story origins

- discovering not only do I have memories from home, I have memories of trauma that happened within the body.

- seeing sculptures, posters, art, etc made and owned by people who you don't know is incredibly disconcerting and uncomfortable

- I'm autistic (..🐚 says {he's also autistic, and my doting boyfriend..} I'm 'very autistic, it's painful to watch'). Learning what Autism is has been interesting! And explained so much!

- the body's mother, when she realized who I was, told me not to try jumping off cliffs as "I can't respawn" ????? In some worlds do you mean to tell me you can die more than once??

- i miss my friends and found family

- being both an interject and an age regressor. Normally I'm 18, almost 19 years old, but on occasion slip as young as 3 years, it has been..very strange, and terrifying.

- one of my first thoughts when I turned up here was that I'd have lost the age regression, ED, PTSD, and OCD tendencies, but no, they got worse.

- Non-binary has a name here. It's amazing.

- No one knows who I am here. I adore it.

~Link 🗡️

I’ve been in such a funk since the concert. I’m not even sure I enjoyed myself that much. maybe I did. I don’t know

Woop de do, here comes another system analogy cause the car one isn't the best at describing our experience.

Your physical brain and body are the computer.

The mental processes, symptoms, thoughts, memories etc. are the apps and files on that computer. The power that runs the physical.

Some systems have a headmate that forms the OS, for others it's not sentient at all.

You are a user. You and your headmates use this computer and it's functions to play the game of life together.

You have different permissions to things than other users. You can use certain apps better than others, but then you can't open some files cause they're password protected. Your friend over there seems to know all of it but doesn't share.

Some of us are admins, some of us are guests. Some people make the computer overheat, others are perfect to cool it down. Some seem to delete everything. Others spend all their time on MS Paint.

But we all work together to keep the computer in one piece.

Why do racists not fear God?

Because the church can't call out abuse or racism.

Having childhood trauma is being surprised when someone accepts your "no" as no, and doesn't push until you change your answer