Send me some Alastor stuff plz ❤
49 posts
Alastorcutie - Just A Chibi Alastor~ - Tumblr Blog
oh ok
Tie you to a chair with a vibrator in your pussy to overstimulate you until you learn your lesson
Black cats slayyyy
Great work Tumblr
Just saying
So erm. . . .
I was doing my normal s❤h on google and started looking up Draco Malfoy from Harry Potter. BUT I stumbled on a song called "Draco" by Futrue. . .and I need to vent.
By the second verse it wasn't even Draco Malfoy let alone Harry Potter. I'm NOT going to put the lyrics! I'm going to let you do that on your own!
TW: Words, (Including N word) may insult some people mentions sex (I THINK)
gotta catch em all ;u;
Alastor's nice little daily walk in Pentagram City.
this hurt my heart :(
Do you ever want to badly write a fic but you’re too self conscious about your writing so it stays a forever idea ?? Hahaha…
Anyway, i’ve had thought about Vox’s obsession with Alastor bringing the ruin of the Vees…. Many many ideas, and what happens and …. Augh
I'M CURRENTLY LISTENING TO "LOVE FOR HIRE" AND I'M EMOTIONALY AND PSYCHIALLY IN LOVE BUT ALSO TRAMITZED
I love black cats bc there's two types, one: it could be a omnionus shadow with eyes or an black blob that loves cuddles
Has anyone ever wondered what Blitz did with all the sex stuff he bought in Full Moon after being rejected by Stolas?
He's a ✨short✨ scientist
There's a difference 😤
He's a scientist, there's a difference
The Little Mermaid Jr!
Royal Stage!
Get tickets at Royal Stage.org!
Incorrect Quotes (/w Alastor)
* ☽ ･ ｡ﾟ･ ☾ *
Tried the incorrect quotes shit, it was pretty fun (just wanted to show my results as well haha...)
★⟣—— ——⟣★
Reader: Smart is attractive. Educate me on something I don't know!
Alastor: The mouth of a jellyfish is also an anus.
Reader: Stop.
xxxxxx
Reader: Since we're in a relationship now, your clothes are my clothes too. Don't ask me why I have your shirt on, this is our shirt.
Alastor: Fine, but when I come strutting in with your fuzzy socks I don't want to hear shit.
xxxxxx
Alastor: Do you want to explain the text you sent me last night?
Reader: It was autocorrect.
Alastor: Autocorrect wrote "You're so hot. Please step on me."?
Reader: Yes.
xxxxxx
Reader, looking at a selfie of Alastor’s: I hate this photo.
Alastor: I’m cute as fuck in that photo! I’m smiling kindly.
Reader: You’re not smiling kindly; you look like you’re up to something.
Alastor: Up to kindness.
Reader: ...
Reader: Kindness my ass.
xxxxxx
Alastor: We should be partners.
Reader: You mean like, partners in crime?
Alastor: Yeah... that’s precisely what I meant.
xxxxxx
Alastor: Go fuck yourself.
Reader: Come over here and fuck me yourself you coward!
xxxxxx
Reader: Go to hell!
Alastor: Oh! I’ve been there, thank you. I found it quite lovely.
xxxxxx
Alastor: Father, I have sinned.
Reader: Daddy, I’ve been naughty.
xxxxxx
Reader: Stop doing that.
Alastor: Stop doing what?
Reader: Saying things that make me wanna kiss the hell out of you.
xxxxxx
Reader: How much did you spend on this date?
Alastor: $1400. But all of it's on credit cards, so it's like $5 a month for the next 2,000 years.
xxxxxx
Reader: *nudges Alastor at 3am* Pretty fucked up that we depict the moon as a girl and the sun as a boy. They're just floating rocks in space. Alastor? Wake up, Alastorr! Listen! They're sexless!
Alastor: The sun isn't a rock, go back to sleep.
xxxxxx
Reader: What do you want to be for Halloween?
Alastor: Yours.
Reader:
Reader: …yeah, that would be pretty scary.
xxxxxx
Reader: That was so hot, Alastor.
Alastor: I literally called the person who just flirted with you a degenterate dog and told them I hope they get dragged through the streets.
Reader: I'm so in love with you.
xxxxxx
Alastor: Hey, about that love letter you sent me-
Reader: *blushes* What are your thoughts?
Alastor: The fourth sentence-
Reader: Yeah, that’s where I got really emotional and I-
Alastor: It’s “you’re” not “your”.
xxxxxx
Reader: My hands are cold.
Alastor: Here, let me hold them.
Reader: My lips are cold too.
Alastor: *covers Reader's mouth with their hand*
xxxxxx
Reader: So... what would you do if you were in bed with me?
Alastor: Depends. Is your bed comfortable?
Reader: Yes.
Alastor: I'd sleep.
xxxxxx
Waiter: What would you like?
Reader: Bring a milkshake with two straws.
Reader: *blushes*
Alastor: *puts both straws in their mouth* Watch how fast I can drink this!!
xxxxxx
Reader: I'm trash.
Alastor: As someone who's environmentally conscious, it's my duty to pick you up. Does 7 work for you?
Reader: ...
Reader: You smooth motherfucker.
Reader: And yes it does.
xxxxxx
Alastor, watching Reader: Ah yes. The mysterious and beautiful Reader, so demure…
Alastor: …I wonder what sort of melodic sounds this wonderful being makes?
Reader: *screaming*
xxxxxx
Reader: We’re getting married, bitches!
Alastor: And we're about to make it everybody else's problem.
xxxxxx
Reader: I think I just figured something out. I got to go.
Alastor: Aren't you forgetting something?
Reader: Uuh...*hesitantly kisses Alastor's forehead before running out.*
Alastor: No, pay your bill! Damn, who raised you?
xxxxxx
Alastor: Reader and I are so close we even share a toothbrush.
Reader: You brush your teeth?
★⟣—— ——⟣★
cant think if anything to post so just take this!
LET'S FUCKING GOOO!!!!!
GUYS GUYS GUYS GUYS 8TH GRAPHIC NOVEL COVER OUT THIS IS AWESOEM GUYS!1!1!!1!1!!1!1!1!
Who else watched Apology Tour? The newest ep in Helluva Boss?
Three things:
It was pretty cool that Verosika talked to Blitz at the party and that she kinda acepted his apology? But she also opened up to him sat with him and talked.
Also, is this dude:
Are we going to see more of him? Or is this ship only being made bc everyone at that party was black out drunk? I mean, he was being honest to Stolas and Stolas seemed to like him. . . .so, is this going to happen later in the seires?
Also, can somebody PLEASE explain to me why Vortext was there? Was it bc of his job or did he also hate Blitz as well? Someone pleassse help me understand this!!
So you know Lucifer's wings in More Than Anything?
WHERE DO THEY HIDE????
Just watched the newest Helluva Boss ep. . .
I Told Him No (And Yes) ~A Hazbin Hotel fanfic CHAPTER ONE
I took a shaky breath and walked up to the new hotel the princes of Hell said on the TV. I knocked on the door and held my breath. A few seconds passed and then I was about to give up, when the princes of Hell opened the door. “Uh, hi, um, I saw you on 666 news and I was wondering if I could. . .join your cause?” I asked nervously stroking my light blue, yet neon hair. “Of course! Oh my god! I can’t believe it!” her face lightened up and held her hand out. “I’m Charlie, you look familiar. . .the Rabbit Demon, Rini? Right?” Charlie asked. I nodded with a smile. I shook her hand. Charlie led me inside and introduced me to a grumpy looking woman with gray hair and skin. She wore a white short dress with one shoulder showing and a spaghetti strap holding the other part of the dress. There was an X where her right eye should’ve been. Two gray Xs were on the dress where the breasts were. One of her boats was all gray and the other one was striped with gray and peach pink. She had white hair and a red bow. “This is Vaggie. . .my girlfriend! Vaggie! You won’t believe it! We have a new patron to help us!’ Charlie said excitedly.
The girl walked up to me and inspected me with a tall spear with an arrow-head on it. She poked me in several different areas and then narrowed her eyes at me. “Charlie, you know this is the Rabbit Demon?” Vaggie said, narrowing her eyes at me. “Yeah, but she’s here and that’s what matters!” Charlie said. Vaggie nodded slowly and turned back and sat on the couch that looked like it’s seen other days.
The other person was a tall and slender man with white hair and white floof on his chest. He wore a tuxedo with a little bow and an opening to reveal the floofy chest. He had four arms, all adorned in red gloves. He wore short shorts and tall blackish-brownish boats. He had a pink and white eye and the right one was black and red indicating he was owned by someone. “This is Angel Dust, our very first customer, and you’re our second!” Charlie said. “Heya toots! Here to help Charlie rehaablite demons?” Angel Dust asked and looked me up and down. “I guess,” I smiled.
I turned back to Charlie and was about to say something when someone knocked on the door. Charlie stood there for a second and then opened the door. A tall slender figure stood there with a big toothy grin. He had a red tuxedo and red hair with small deer antlers. My stomach twisted into knots and my face burned. I could see Angel Dust smirking at me and then continue eating a popsicle. Charlie slammed the door in his face and slowly turned towards Vaggie.
“Hey Vaggie?” Charlie asked nervously, still holding onto the doorknob. “Whaaat?” Vaggie asked from the couch, annoyed. “The Radio Demon is at the door!” Vaggie shut up and looked at Charlie. “What?!” she asked, shocked. “Uh. . .who?” Angel asked. “What should I do!?” Charlie asked frantically. “UH well — Don’t let him in!” Vaggie said. Charlie opened the door again and the man looked at Charlie annoyed. “May I speak now?” he asked. “You may –” The man cut her off and started speaking. “Alastor! Pleasure to be meeting you sweetheart!” My heart lurched in jealousy.
“Quite a pleasure!” Alastor let himself in. “Excuse my sudden visit, but I saw your fiasco on a picture show, and I just couldn’t resist! What a performance! Why, I haven’t been that entertained since the stock market crash of 1929! Hahahahaha! Sooo many orphans. . .” he played with his mic staff. My heart pounded against my ribcage so hard it hurt.
In a second, Vaggie was holding a harpoon towards Alastor in anger. “Stop right there, hijo de puta bastardo. I know your game and I’m not gonna let you hurt anyone you pompous cheesy talk show shitlord!” Vaggie said. Angel Dust popped his head in with an unamused look. Alastor shoved the harpoon away and smiled. “Dear, if I wanted to hurt anyone here, I would’ve done so already. . ."His full demon form appeared and static filled the room. Charlie and Vaggie stared at him perturbed. “No! I’m here to help!” Alastor said in his normal form again. “Say what, now?” Charlie asked, confused. “Help! Hahahah! Hello? Is this thing on?” he tapped his mic staff while repeating himself.
“Well I heard you loud and clear!” Did his staff just talk?!
“Um, you want to help. With. . . .?” Charlie’s voice trailed off. “This ridiculous thing you’re trying to do! This hotel! I want to help you run it!” Alastor said. “Buuut. . .why?” Charlie asked, confused. “Hahaha! Why does anyone want to do anything? Sheer, absolute boredom! I’ve lacked inspiration for decades. My work became mundane, lacking focus, aimless! – he shoved Vaggie – I’ve come to crave a form of entertainment! Hahaha!” he laughed. “Does getting into a fistfight with a reporter count as entertainment?” Charlie asked, “Hahah! It’s the pursuit kind, my dear: reality! True passion! After all, the world's a stage and the stage is a world full of entertainment.” Alastor said. “So, does this mean you think it’s possible to rehabilitate a demon?” Charlie asked hopefully. “Hahahahahaha! Of course not! That’s wacky nonsense! Redemption, oh, the non-existent of humanity! No, no, no, no, I don’t think there’s anything left to save loathsome sinners! The chance given was the life they lived before, the punishment is this! There is no undoing what is done!” Alastor spread his arms, referring to all of Hell.
“So then. Why do you wanna help me if you don’t believe in the cause?” Charlie asked. “Consider it an investment in ongoing entertainment for myself! I want to watch the scum of the world struggle to climb up the hill of betterment only to repeatedly fall, trip and tumble down the fiery pits of failure!” Alastor said, “Riiight. . .” Charlie said. “Yes, indeedy! I see big things coming your way and who better you than I?” Alastor’s voice trailed off as he walked off with Charlie.
“Uh, so. . .what’s the deal with Smiles over there?” Angel asked Vaggie. “Yeah. . .” I said slowly and walked towards them. “Wait, you two have never heard of him?! I’m pretty sure you guys have been here longer than me!” Vaggie asked, looking at us both. Angel Dust shrugged cluelessly. “The Radio Demon? The most powerful demon Hell has ever seen?” Vaggie asked again. I shook my head, “Eh, not big on politics,” Angel Dust said, shrugging again. “Ugh! Decades ago, Alastor materialized into Hell. Seemingly overnight, he began to topple Overlords who have been dormant for centuries. That kind of raw power had never been harnessed by a mortal soul before. Then, he broadcast his carnage throughout Hell just so everyone could witness his ability. Sinners started calling him ‘The Radio Demon,’. (As lazy as that is. . .) Many have speculated what unimaginable force enabled him to rival our world’s most ancient and destructive evils. But one thing for sure: he’s an unpredictable source of danger, a wicked spirit of mystery, and a violent monster of chaos, the likes which we can’t risk getting involved with unless we want to get erased!”
Vaggie said dramatically. Angel Dust laughed, “Ya done? He looks like a strawberry pimp!” Angel Dust said. I broke out into unstoppable giggles. “Well, I don’t trust him!” Vaggie protested. “To be fair, do you trust any man? Any men? Men?” Angel Dust asked. “Charlie, listen to me. You can’t believe this creep! He isn’t just a happy face! He’s a deal-maker! Pure evil! He can’t be redeemed! . . .And is most likely looking for a way to destroy everything we’re trying to do!’ Vaggie said, grabbing Charlie’s shoulder.
Charlie sighed and looked at Vaggie. “I. . .we don’t know that! Look, I know he’s bad, and I know he probably doesn’t wanna change but the whole point of this is to give people a chance!” Charlie said, looking at Alastor. I followed her gaze and felt my face grow hot. Angel Dust snickered at me and sat back down and ate his popsicle.
“To have faith things will be better! How can I turn someone away? I can’t. It goes against everything I’m trying to do! Everything I believe in. Just. . .trust me, I can take care of myself!” Charlie reassured Vaggie. “Charlie, whatever you do, do not make a deal with him!” Vaggie said seriously.
A pang of jealousy hit my chest as Alastor focused himself on Vaggie. “Don’t worry, I picked up one thing from my dad! ‘Don’t take shit from other demons!’.” Charlie said and walked towards Alastor.
“Okay, so Al. You’re sketchy as fuck and you clearly see what I’m trying do as a joke,” Charlie said, “But I don't. I think everyone deserves a chance to prove that they can be better. So I’m taking your offer to help. On one condition that there be no. . .tricks or voodoo strings attached,” Charlie said, making a hand gesture. Alastor rolled his eyes and held out his hand. “So it’s a deal then?” Alastor asked.
Green energy bursts through the hotel as Alastor holds out his hand for Charlie to shake. “Nope! No shaking! No deals! I. . .hmmm. . . .As princes of Hell and heir to the throne, I, uh, hereby order you and Rini that you guys help with this hotel. For as long as you desire.” Charlie explained,
I smiled and nodded. My own tall light blue staff with a poof ball on it glowed in response. “Sound fair?” Charlie asked, looking at me and Alastor. “Hmm. . .fair enough!” Alastor said and retracted his mic staff. “Cool beans,” Charlie sighed a sigh of relief. “Hmm hm hmmm hmm,” Alastor hummed and then stopped in front of Alastor. “Smile my dear! You know you’re never fully dressed without one! Rabbit girl is doing a great job at it!” Alastor looked at me.
My face grew red and I pulled a strand of hair behind my ear. Angel Dust snorted at my action. “So where is your hotel staff?” Alastor asked, looking around. “Uh well – ,” Charlie started. “Ohohoho! You’re going to need more than that.” Alastor said, adjusting his monocle.
“What can you do, my effeminate fellow?” Alastor asked, looking down at Angel Dust, “I can suck your dick!” Angel Dust said proudly. I smothered a laugh and covered it with a cough. “HAH! No!” Alastor said after a moment. “Your loss,” Angel Dust scoffed. “Well, this just won’t do! I suppose I can cash in a few favors to liven things up!” Alastor said and with a snap of his fingers, a new fireplace replaced the old one. A mysterious figure fell from it and Alastor grabbed the figure by the shirt. It opened its one eye and poofed off the soot revealing a short girl with shoulder length orange hair. She had a handkerchief around her neck and the top of her dress was white with the puffs of the short sleeve covering her shoulders.
Her skirt was red with a gray poodle on it with three yellow dots on her red skirt. “This darling is Nifty!” Alastor said and dropped Nifty on the floor. “Hi! I’m Nifty! It's nice to meet you! It's been a while since I've made new friends!” Nifty said and eyed us with her one eye. “Why're you all women?” She asked. Nifty lifted Charlie up and looked around. “Are there any men here?! I'm sorry, that's rude.” Nifty then put Charlie down and looked around again.
“Oooh, man! This place is filthy! It really needs a lady's touch! Which is weird because you're all ladies, no offense. Oh, my gosh! This is awful! Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope!” Nifty said and darted around. She grabbed a spider and crushed it, a feather duster and then stabbed a cockroach with a sewing pen.
An unknown cat demon’s voice broke the silence so suddenly, I jumped. “Hah! Read 'em and weep, boys! Full Ho — “ Demonic illusions floated around them and voices distort the surroundings temporarily. “ — tel? What the fuck is this?” The cat demon purred angrily and pointed at Alastor. “Ah, Husker, my good friend! Glad you could make it!” Alastor said happily. “Don't you ‘Husker’ me, you son of a bitch! I was about to win the whole damn pot!” The jackpot disappeared while Alastor smiled. “ Good to see you too!” he smiled. “What the hell do you want with me this time. . . ?” Husk asked while facepalming angrily.
“My friend, I am doing some charity work so I took it upon myself to volunteer your services! I hope that's okay!” Alastor explained. “Are you shittin' me?!” Husk asked angrily. “Hmm. . . . No, I don't think so!” Alastor said thoughtfully. “You thought it'd be some kind of big fucking riot just to pull me out of nowhere?! You think I'm some kind of fucking clown?!” Husk asked, pushing Alastor off. “Maybe!” Alastor smirked like he was about to laugh. “I ain't doing no fucking charity job.” Husk protested.
“Well, I figured you would be the perfect face to man the front desk of this fine establishment!” Alastor said and gestured towards a bar that he made. “With your charming smile,” Alastor used his fingers to lift Husk’s lips into a smile which immediately went back to a frown. “and welcoming energy, this job was made for you! Don't worry my friend, can make this more welcoming! . . . If you wish.” Alastor then made a Cheap Booze bottle and looked at Husk. “What? You think you can buy me with a wink? And some cheap booze?! . . .Well, you can!” Husk said and drank the cheap booze.
“Hey, hey! Hey, hey, hey! No! No bar, no alcohol! This is supposed to be a place that discourages sin! Not some kind of mouth. . .brothel. . .man cave!” Vaggie said, waving her hands in protest. Angel Dust launched himself towards her and grabbed her shoulders. “SHUT UP! SHUT! UP! We — Points at the bar — are keeping this!” Angel Dust shouted.
He then proceeded towards Husk and started flirting with him. “Hey~” Angel Dust said flirty. “Go fuck yourself.” Husk said plainly. “Only if you watch me!” Angel Dust said and grabbed Husk’s face. “Oh, my gosh! Welcome to the Happy Hotel! You are going to love it here!” Charlie said, reaching for a handshake. “I lost the ability to love years ago.” he said, reaching for his booze. “So, whaddaya think?” Alastor asked Charlie. “This is amazing!” Charlie said “It’s. . . okay,” Vaggie said.
“Hahaha! This is going to be very entertaining!” Alastor said, pulling them towards him.
“You have a dream! You wish to tell! And it's just laughable, But, hey, kid, what the hell? Cause you're one-of-a-kind! A charming demon belle! Now, let's give these burning fools a place to dwell! Take it, boys! Haha! Inside of every demon is a lost cause. But we'll dress 'em up for now, with just a smile! And we'll chlorinate this cesspool with some old redemption flair! And show these simpletons some proper class and style! Oh! Here below the ground, I'm sure your plan is sound! They'll spend a little time down at this Hazbin Ho — “ The hotel door suddenly exploded.
We walked out and saw a giant warship driven by a snake dude with a yellow and gray striped tuxedo. His hood was yellow on the inside and black on the outside. He had a top hat with an eye on it. Three Eggs with feet and mini top hats. “Hah! Well, well, well. Look who it is harboring the striped freak! We meet yet again, Alastor!” He hissed.
Goddamnit Sir Pentious. . .
“Do I know you?” Alastor asked, tilting his head. “Oh, yes you do! And this time, I have the element of — SURPRISE! Ahaha! I'm so evil!” he said and pulled a lever. But then a snap of Alastor’s fingers, a portal opened letting what looked like tentacles and shadow demons, they then destroyed Sir Pentious ship while he was inside of it. Alastor clenched his fist for one final blow, blood dripped down his face as he finished off Sir Pentious.
Once he was done, everyone stared at Alastor in shock and horror. I was just staring at him in general. . . .
“. . .Well, I'm starved! Who wants some Jambalaya? My mother once showed me a wonderful recipe for Jambalaya. In fact, it nearly killed her! Hahaha! You could say the kick was right out of Hell! Ohoho, I'm on a roll! Yes, sir! This is the start of some real changes down here! The game is set!” Alastor’s voice trailed off as he headed off into the hotel. I stayed and turned towards Sir Pentious.
“That was a stupid thing to do,” I said and helped him up. “My poor warship. . .” Sir Pentious said mournfully. “Here, I can help,” I pulled out my staff and my locket with bunny ears on it. A blue glow emerged from the staff and with a few ticks of my locket, Sir Pentious’s warship built itself back together. “Oh my god! Thank you so much Rini!” Sir Pentious said and hugged me.
I mean, I’m helping Charlie rehab demons. . . .
I hugged him back, “Don’t do anything stupid, Pentious,” I smiled and walked back inside.
MY POOR HEART HURTSS
5/12/2024: "Jambalaya"
He doesn't indulge in the dishes his mother used to make in his childhood all that often, but when he does....the nostalgia never fails to hit him where it hurts the most.
100% probably OOC but I don't care, I was in an angsty mood and watching Ratatouille when I thought of this.
idk how to take this
a blu3tac0z cannot be blu3tac0z... without her chonks.
yea gonna reupload a lot of things here before my exam week.
AND THIS PAGE NEEDS HER CHONKS, AGAIN. SO HERE THEY ARE
lets start with the 1st arc, DoD
dammmnnn
Editing Human Alastor in the show screenshots