The More I Think About Perseus And Andromeda Having Nine Children Together, The More I'm Starting To

The more I think about Perseus and Andromeda having nine children together, the more I'm starting to imagine their sex life resembling Queen Victoria and Prince Albert's and this is not okay.

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Charon's appearance varies from that of an ugly old man to an eldritch sinister monster in modern pieces of Media. But one physical description which I find to be quite interesting, yet I've never seen being used, is him having burning balls of fire for eyes.

Here's one passage that suggests this possibility:

Dante also described him as having eyes of fire in Canto III of the Inferno. On top of that, his name is usually translated as "fierce brightness", which might be an allusion to his eyes.

And again, I don't remember any character design for him where he has "fire-like eyes". Now I'm really curious to see how would he look like if someone would draw him like this.

Also, for the sake of nuance and more arguments:

"Hades loves humans more than any other god and actually helps them", refferring to the myths where he's visited by living humans.

While he is indeed described as a generous host or the hospitable one, I would also like to point out that contextually these epithets are related to the mortal souls, not to the living ones. On top of that, in a lot of myths where he decides to help figures such as Heracles or Orpheus he always puts a condition. Heracles had to "tame" Cerberus first, in order to show that he is indeed as strong as the legends claim. Orpheus had to get away from the Underworld without looking back, in order to show if he could resist the temptation of seeing his lover. It's almost as if he wants to test them or something. Not to mention the fact that every time he's benevolent his attitude is generally influenced by Persephone. Not only that you can easily replace her with him in a lot of greek myths, but she also helped Psyche and Odysseus when they traveled into the Underworld, whereas Hades doesn’t make any active appearance in any written works about them two.

Oh, and about the "he loves mortals" or "he understands humans better than any other god". First of all, he's in the Underworld 99,99% of the time, so the only type of mortals he's usually interacting woth are the dead ones. The living ones are exceptions. And speaking about the "living":

Statius, Thebaid 8. 21 (trans. Mozley) (Roman epic C1st A.D.) :

"Must I [Haides] so oft endure the profanation of Chaos by living strangers? The rash ardour of Pirithous provoked me, and Theseus, sworn comrade of his daring friend [when the pair attempted to abduct Persephone]."

Technically, he said that when Theseus and Pirithous tried to steal his wife, so his anger is explicable. However, the way he said "living strangers" instead of just "strangers" shows how he ordinarily tolerates only the dead, whereas people who are alive are some sort of an alien species to him. Which makes sense, because quess what: He's the god of the dead for a reason.

And the idea that he understands them more than any other deity when we have hundreds of myths with deities who are not him helping mortals and supporting them is an over exaggeration of his traits, and a visible urge of ignoring what are other gods doing.

Ah, and the most annoying one:

"Hades is the only god who does his job/works hard enough."

Because Athena isn't the one who invented various items and sciences and the patron deity of the most evolved greek city, Hermes isn't both the messenger of the gods and a psychopomp, Hephaestus isn't the blacksmith and carpenter of the gods, Demeter isn't the one who makes the harvests grow, Aphrodite doesn’t have control over sex (and by extension reproduction/perpetuation of our own species), Hera isn't the one who plans marriages, Hestia doesn’t watch over the hearth etc.

Also, can somebody please tell me what hard job is Hades exactly doing? He doesn't decide when do mortals die, that is the Fates' job. He doesn't escort the souls in the Underworld, that is Thanatos and the Keres' job. He doesn't torture those from Tartarus, this is the Erinyes' job. The only thing that I can find about him which can be considered a job is his role as a judger, as emphasized by Aeschylus. And even in this case the ones who play a major role when it comes to judging the souls are Minos, Aeacus and Radamanthus.

And yes, the final conclusion is the same from the initial post.

One thing that I honestly do not understand about some of Hades' fans is the way they claim that they like him because he is a complex figure, yet at the same time they erase all the characteristics that make him complex in order to depict him as the nicest guy possible.

"Hades never had any bastards." Yes, this is absolutely true, yet at the same time nobody is wondering why ancient greeks depicted him as having sexual relationships only with Persephone, or why Leuce and Minthe were added only centuries later by the roman poets. In order to answer to this question we have to understand why other gods are depicted as womanizers in the first place. It's because in this way it was easy for you to pretend that your father is a god, and by extension to receive a certain attention or priviledges.

"Of course I'm great. Don't you know that my father is Zeus himself?"

"How do you know that?"

"He told me in a dream that he disguised himself as an ant and then entered my mother's vagina."

"But then why didn't Hera kill you already?"

"He forgot to tell me why."

Hades, on the other hand, was equally feared and hated by ancient greeks, which is why nobody wanted to claim that they are his offspring. Romans, on the other hand, weren't necessarily afraid nor repulsed by him, which is probably why they were more comfortable writing about him having a dead lover and a mistress on top of Persephone.

"Hades never punished mortals the way other gods do." Are you kidding me, right? When Asclepcius started to bring people back to life he complained to Zeus about how Apollo's son is openly mocking death and asked him to kill him, not to mention that in some versions of the myth the reason why Zeus decided to murder him was because Hades was going to unleash his wrath on Apollo himself or destroy Asclepius' entire city. When Pirithous and Theseus tried to kidnap Persephone he trapped them for years and let them be attacked by the Furies on a daily basis.

Now, people will tell me: "Yeah but both of them were violating his rules so he had all the right to do that." and I'm not contradicting you here. However, there's another myth where he inflicted Thebes with a deadly plague after a king refused to bury some dead warriors or something like that. It is emphasized the fact that many died, and "many" could mean anyone, no matter if they were innocent, quilty, children, elders etc. The only way they managed to appease him was by sacrificing two girls. Sure, he took pity of them in the end and turned them into comets, but was the death of hundreds of mortals so necessary? Why didn't he punish only the king instead of his people? And then his stans are really going to say that Demeter is a monster for causing a global famine, even though this was clearly a result of her grief for her daughter.

Furthermore, I would also like to point out the fact that the main reason why there are few myths where he's directly punishing a living mortal is because he knows that sooner or later everyone will become his subject. Sure, you may not be punished immediately for cursing his name or badmouthing him, but thirty years later when you will be dead quess who will throw you into Tartarus!

"Hades was the least problematic greek god." First of all, there aren't only fifteen deities in Greek Mythology, but hundreds of them. And I doubt that out of hundreds of deities he's the least problematic one. And secondly, even if you think only about the fifteen major gods you cannot say that he's the least problematic one when Hestia exists. I think people are focusing way too much on his qualities and moments where he proves himself to be generous and equitable, and forget the fact that he's literally the King of the Underworld. One of the reasons why there are few to no writings about him nowdays is because a) people were afraid even to write about him and b) we're not sure how many of the few writings about him survived and how many were lost. He might have done even more horrible things that we're not aware of. Also, we do not live in Ancient Greece among people who existed thousands of years ago and had a way more clear perception on their deities. They might had good reasons to fear him other than the ones that we already know.

I do not consider anything wrong in portraying him as having a secret soft side or emphasizing the fact that just because he was the god of the dead that doesn’t mean that he was "pure evil" or "the devil himself", because we're talking about a polytheistic religion where deities are allowed to have complex, multidimensional personalities instead of being only "good" or "bad". But that doesn’t mean that you have to automatically turn him into an innocent guy who never did anything wrong in his entire life and all he wants is to unconditionally love his pastel goth wife and play with his dog Spot.

It took me centuries to figure out that one of my favourite dynamics from fiction is the problematic father-daughter one, where the father is either a villain or a very morally grey figure and the daughter has mixed thoughts and feelings about it, but ultimately wants to be loved by him.

Raven and Trigon

Emily and Kozmotis Pitchiner

Hera and Cronus

Rose and Albert Vanderboom

Minos when he saw baby Asterion for the very first time: