I Am Erupting Out Of My Own Skin

I am erupting out of my own skin

I cannot contain myself

My soul is on fire and my spirit is raging

There is something in being god

Absolute in your dominion

As things fall into place

Declaring themselves in all boldness

Reality writes its own course

And we dance in moonlit groves

Bound up in that ecstasy

Wild gods

Worshiping through the night

Genderfluid

Sometimes I am a boy

And sometimes I am a girl.

It all makes perfect sense in their certain seasons

"This is who I am

And this is who I will be".

But then it slips

And you are switching into something else.

Now you want these things,

This is who you are, were, and will always be.

Other times it's not so severe.

You know you will change again.

You play into the ride, and love it all the way through.

Yet

There have been times

When it is as if someone is trying to kill me,

Like they are trying to steal my life

Replacing it with what they dream.

Today I am in love with her

Today I am in love with him

I change with my gender,

Maybe it doesn't mean the same I?

I'm still here

And it isn't always so bad.

Sometimes I am just amazing

A special creature

Unlike any around.

I can relish it

And I can loath it.

This has always been my life though

And it gives me a certain kind

Of pleasurable pride.

- me, my writing, personal, Andrew

Why is the heart

Such a fucked up place?

Are we ever really in control?

I can run away,

Put miles between us,

Disappear for a while,

But when I catch sight of you

I am confounded by something deeper than before.

More than that body,

More than that smile,

But for that closeness of souls

With which we first came to be.

I am still hopelessly bound

But it isn't the same.

I have found new depths to love.

Why can't there be a place for us all.

- Me, Andrew

It has been two years

Since last We and Our family

Were able to share a genuine smile.

Two years

Since She burned down creation

Setting fire to the image

Known to Our family's eyes.

The healing isn't over.

Rest assured,

Destruction will never die,

But my brother and I smiled tonight.

Shared a moment no one else saw.

We are starting to mend

And it is by learning to love Ourself.

Life of a purer state

Without the lies.

Walking without a mask at last

Even if

Only one veil at a time.

- Me, we, that awesome entity we call Andrew

Goodbye to all the weird

So long porn bots.

Hate to see you leave.

I'll miss your tits and dicks,

And all the strange your brang.

You have been with me since the beginning.

A constant presence.

Your are my number one supporters,

And my most faithful of followers.

Who will love me now?

Now that you are being stripped away?

The quiet emptiness.

Of a pristine world.

- By me Andrew

Is it ok to say we're unhappy?

To be so vulnerable with ourselves

As to recognize things are not well?

At times the energy to stay alive is all consuming.

It drains every last volt of the soul

Till your crying alone

Desperate for respite.

Can the heart run away

When its feeling weak?

Can I hide away the nights and days

Till I can smile again?

Up and down

Raging moods and thoughts.

Manic dance

Eclectic wilds.

- me