apottovan - AP Ottovan
AP Ottovan

Doing better, love

524 posts

So, I Took A Photo That I Had And Made It Abstract, And Frankly, Im A Little Terrified. This Is... Neat

So, I Took A Photo That I Had And Made It Abstract, And Frankly, Im A Little Terrified. This Is... Neat

So, I took a photo that I had and made it abstract, and frankly, I’m a little terrified. This is... neat to say the least

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More Posts from Apottovan

4 years ago
Now This One, Of English Ivy, I Like A Lot More.Tell Me, How Does It Make You Feel?

Now this one, of English Ivy, I like a lot more.  Tell me, how does it make you feel?


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4 years ago

6/28 - Suffocation

Pain in the heart When will the gates open For me and only me When will you let me in

Feel the pain in my head My jaw clenched shut Like a clam shell Never opens for you

There are no pearls on my tongue Just salt between closed lips I sit gurgling curses Feeling the silt between my teeth

Crush, crush Bones destroyed by bones Lifeblood drank by deathblood Pure rose red and sickly rotten black

Feed me, fill me Acid burning up butterflies Take what I know Rip my pages apart

My brain is falling apart inside my head Panic fraying my loose ends My shell cracked Insides falling outside

Your pseudo tenderness A gull bashing me against rocks Ripping out my sweetness Sucking down my marrow

Eat me, become me, As I poison you, Turn those lips blue Suffocation the softest kiss


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5 years ago

I just want to be good at something.

4 years ago

A John & David (Blackout)

Link to the story it was taken from: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24946627

There is no “safe” Everything ground to a halt The tide turned Against

We are stupid when we get scared Make it stop

He used to be my husband I can’t imagine calling this marriage

His eyes all that is left of him Almost forgiven

No photographs anywhere

Desperation makes people stuipid as fear Promise not to hurt

It’s hard these days Depressingly easy to complain

He was dead lately It should have been enough

If they’d listened This would be different

I slump back No one would care how hard I worked

Quiet and pretty, I was A party, our engagement

It was a John & David’s party. Wouldn’t’a missed it.

We were all buttoned up Trimmed to geometric perfection

Today is just those eyes and dirty hair And that stupid mewling

So convincingly suburban beneath decay and rot He is just about done

He makes his last bid to escape Death looms, the final sickening pain

I know the feeling

Gut-wrenching. Never easier.

Maybe he’s thankful

The dead are surprisingly gentle.

His chest no longer rises. Milky dead eyes

I don’t pretend to understand It’s a stupid trick, to pretend it’s easy

Now we’re this.

The blood is still red. As fresh as it gets.

Freshly dead.

So much of his life had been fear. He learned from past mistakes.

My relationship with David no longer is.

He was broken. I had no idea how to fix him.

Our old lives had been defined by what we had. I didn’t know how to let go.

His face a nightmare of gore and blood

David was a little less broken And I a little more


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4 years ago
This Was From My Mock Orange Photo... Not Sure If I Like It Or Not, Definitely Dont Like It As Much As

This was from my mock orange photo... Not sure if I like it or not, definitely don’t like it as much as the other one.


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