SV AU Where Shen Yuan Transmigrates Into A Kind Of Mimicry Demon.

SV AU where Shen Yuan transmigrates into a kind of mimicry demon.

He still gets tasked by the System with replacing Shen Qingqiu, except this time he actually has to pull off an imposter role on multiple levels, while the real Shen Qingqiu is stuck in a coma due to his qi deviation. Initially he thinks the situation is going to be temporary -- just take over until he figure out how to get the original goods to wake up -- but Shen Jiu's condition proves to be more difficult to repair than just waiting. Shen Yuan buys special side missions from the System to find items and artifacts to keep Shen Jiu alive, mainly because he doesn't want to be stuck playing this part until Luo Binghe kills him, but also after the first couple of times Shen Jiu regains some consciousness (not enough to leave his bed), Shen Yuan starts to feel kind of... bad for him. Too. Despite everything.

Shen Jiu, of course, is deeply suspicious of this doppelganger that has obviously taken advantage of his weakness to infiltrate the sect and steal his identity. He initially theorizes that the creature must be keeping him alive because it needs some aspect of his vitality in order to keep posing as him, but as they share more encounters is forced to concede that the thing might just be insane? And weirdly softhearted. Over time and by feigning sleep to listen in on Shen Yuan's muttering, he figures out that this all has something to do with Luo Binghe, which he's not pleased about. But he can't deduce what. (Luo Binghe doesn't get to move into the side room in this version of the story, because Shen Yuan has the house on lockdown for obvious reasons, but he does still get to make Shizun's meals!)

Anyway, Shen Jiu doesn't manage to conveniently wake up before the Immortal Alliance Conference. Shen Yuan has to throw Luo Binghe in, which he hates, but along the way he manages to recover that magical flower macguffin that won't work on Without-a-Cure (which he doesn't have in this AU because his species is immune to it), brews a tea that finally fixes Shen Jiu, and then fucks off to go mope about Binghe being in the Abyss.

Shen Jiu doesn't tell anyone about his demonic replacement, for a variety of reasons. One, he's punishing the other peak lords for not figuring it out themselves. Two, he's punishing himself for the fact that a literal demon replaced him for like 3 years and everyone considered it an improvement. Because it was. Three, he has mixed feelings that might potentially amount to not wanting to hunt down and kill Shen Yuan, but he's not admitting that even to himself.

Everyone thinks that Shen Qingqiu's return to asshole form is a result of Luo Binghe dying, and that his sudden new research projects are part of him like, trying to make sense of a senseless tragedy, and coping. But no, he's still trying to figure out why the fuck Luo Binghe was important and why Shen Yuan inserted himself into their lives only to basically just do Shen Qingqiu's job while he was indisposed, and then fuck off the moment Luo Binghe left the picture again.

After... healing Shen Jiu. Also. For some unfathomable reason.

But this version of the System's just happy that the plot is back on track! And surely it will stay back on track. Yes? Problem solved, right? Shen Yuan? Definitely nothing is going to mess with the rest of the story, cough cough, wait why are you visiting User 01, and what would you, a demon shapeshifter, need with a Sun & Dew seed...?

cold take: jason todd smokes cigarettes

hot take: jason would never smoke cigarettes due to ptsd from dying of smoke inhalation

hotter take: jason forces himself to smoke cigarettes to prove to himself that he isn’t affected by it anymore

Two types of Intimidation Power Walk

I’m using my superpowers of pattern recognition for weird things but this is what occupies my brain so you’ll have to suffer through it with me. Anyway-

Intimidation Power Walk is a general name I use for when a person is purposefully walking in such a way that it scares other people. It’s most useful for characters in visual media, but I sometimes do it in real life too, and you can probably use it to your benefit in cosplay or just to strike fear into the hearts of your coworkers or something.

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Batfam meets the Justice League fic idea where it's actually just Oliver Queen in Star City attempting to hunt down Red Hood (who isn't even there doing crimes actually, he's just visiting Roy, but Ollie doesn't know this) except every time he tracks him down, he finds another costumed vigilante (Read: Batfam) attempting to get his help for something.

And like, Ollie recognizes them, of course. Because isn't that Nightwing? Nightwing who is actively on the Justice League? Why is he asking an infamous crime lord to come home for dinner?

And then, a week later, he's tracking down another Red Hood sighting and.... that's Red Robin. He's in charge of Young Justice, isn't he? And he just fought Red Hood in an alley and then stood up like nothing happened and bugged him for intelligence on a case he's working, and Red Hood gave it to him?

And it just keeps going down the list until Ollie's at his wits end and partially convinced that a handful of vigilantes on various teams, who he can't for the life of him think of a way they might be connected, might actually be corrupt and working with the mob, then he (begrudgingly) follows reports of another sighting of Red Hood and... that's Batman, arguing with Red Hood but not actually fighting or detaining him, so Ollie sneaks closer and listens to the conversation and... it's the dinner thing again. Family dinner, he hears a few seconds later, and someone named Agent A would really like it if Hood came home for a few hours.

Ollie leaves that situation somehow far more confused than when he started, and he was already extremely confused.

Roy is fully aware that this is happening the entire time and is having the time of his life.

Fake Dating OTP Oneliners

“Hold my hand” “I don’t want to hold your hand” “Suck it up you have to” “I hate you so much” “Shut up and hold it already”

“Just to clarify, if anyone asks, I’m the top”

“I told everyone we came in here to make out. That should buy us some time”

“Why the fuck did you bring condoms?”

“DONT COME IN! WE’RE UH- HAVING SEX!”

“How do they expect us to share a bathroom?” “They think we’re dating. Couples share bathrooms you moron”

“Your ex kinda looks like me . . .”

“If I can’t call you honey, what pet names can I call you?”

“Look, that right there totally meant nothing. We’re just committed to this ‘fake dating’ thing so much that we made out behind this building. It happens!”

“We may be ‘dating’, but I’m still gonna beat your ass at Monopoly”

“Be real with me; how much of this was fake?”

“They left- you can let go of my hand now”

“Everyone’s gone, why are you still kissing me?” “Because I don’t think I can stop”

“Since you’re paying me, this is basically prostitution”

Reasons to fake date

Enemies to Lovers while Fake Dating oneliners and prompts

Prompts masterlist

Leave requests for other oneliners / prompts!

thinking about the expert masseuse Alfred hired for the family that is paid a small fortune annually to provide massage services and ignore so, so many things. No questions, no remarks, just quality service and an ironclad NDA that, if broken, would probably topple said masseuse’s entire family line.

Things Alfred is paying them to ignore, in no specific order:

Bruce’s spinal hardware courtesy of Bane :)

weird amounts of muscle on everyone, even the kids (despite them allegedly not working physical jobs)

scars

FRESH scars

the fact that every joint in Bruce’s body clicks when moved/manipulated at the tender age of 42

Olympic athlete level physiques

rotator cuff injuries across the whole family

scars that are definitely from bullets and/or acid splashes

old signs of what looks like torture (Bruce)

Dick’s entire left arm is basically screws and plates (he “fell really bad” once)

every single family member takes deep tissue massage with max pressure with 0 complaints

calluses

no really, the weirdest fucking calluses