Let's Tease The BSD Boys!

Let's tease the BSD boys!

Fandom: Bungou stray dogs

Pairings: Dazai, Fyodor, Nikolai, Ranpo, Chuuya X Fem!Reader

Genre: Crack, Humor, Fluff

Format: Drabble

Warnings: Maybe a bit ooc? That's it ig

Word Count: 1.8K

A/n: Some of them deserve it and some of them don't but what can we do <3

↳Osamu Dazai

"Osamu! I got you a present!"

Your Boyfriend looked up at you from his book, face brightening up as he saw the big red box in your hands. You were clearly struggling to hold it up, so he assumed there was something big and heavy inside. Not that he cared about that though; he was always delighted by the gesture, then the present itself.

"Awww baby! You didn't have t- What the hell?!!"

You let out an innocent chuckle, raising the small puppy you took out of the box as you took a step closer to Dazai who was staring at the poor animal with pure disgust and panic in his widened eyes.

"Oh c'mon 'Samu! Look at him! Isn't he the cutest? Look at how fluffy he is! Wanna give this little guy a hug?" "No! I want you to get this- this evil beast out of here!"

"Beast? Oh c'mon don't be like that big guy! You've always wanted a dog haven't you? Isn't that why you always refer to Chuuya as your dog?" "No? I call him that because I hate dogs and I hate him!"

The sight of Dazai actually being terrified was something so rare and oh, so satisfying. You wish you were recording this and you knew that Kunikida would thank you later on for it.

The dog took his tongue out, causing the bandaged man to let out a snort out of nausea, taking steps rearward to be as distant as he could be with his eternal enemy. What he didn't expect was feeling the wall behind him as his back stuck to it, letting him know he had nowhere else to run to.

"Osamu? Don't you wanna hug him? I went all the way to the pet store to get him for you! You're breaking my heart acting like this! If you don't hug him yourself, then I guess I'll have no choice but to throw him on you" You shrugged your shoulders, trying to hide the smug look on your face; but it was hard because of your huge evil smile.

"Y/n?" "Yes?" "If you do that I'll scream"

Well, who wouldn't want to hear the great Osamu Dazai screaming?

↳Fyodor Dostoevsky

"Dos-kun Dos-kun! Look at what I found at the store!" Nikolai smiled as he placed the small toy mouse on the floor, pointing at it with both of his hands.

"Ta da! See? It's you! Even his skin has the same color as your hair!"

"Is that so?" Fyodor stared at the toy with a blank expression, then looked back to his co-worker with his eyebrows raised. "And how much did this thing cost you?"

"Doesn't matter! Was worse every penny! Look! It can move around too!"

Nikolai bent to wind the toy up, clapping his hands together with joy as it started roving around on the floor, making annoying noises.

"Look! Dos-kun is running away! Dos-kun is speeding up! Awww Dos-kun is moving toward Y/n-"

Bam!

A big hammer landed on the toy mouse, causing it to break apart, pieces scattering on the floor in front of your feet. Both men gasped at your sudden arrival, taken aback by what you just did.

"Wha-" "Oh I'm sorry! Was it yours Nikolai?" You smiled with fake shame as you placed a hand on your mouth. "Oops! Sorry! It's just that... I hate rats! I loath them so much! I can't stand any form of them, not even the artificial ones! I-"

Wizzzzz!

Bam! Bam!

You chuckled while pressing the hammer in your hand, making a gesture to look like a pro. "That should be enough to devastate it. Anyway~ Sorry for that Nikolai. I'll pay you its price though! Just send me the number!"

The men watched you walking away with widened eyes, and one of them put his hand on the other one's shoulder. "Dos-kun?" "...Yes?" "You should sleep with your eyes open at night"

↳Nikolai Gogol

"Kolya~? Where are you~?"

Nikolai's heart was filled with happiness when he heard your voice coming from behind. He turned around and opened his arms to greet you by giving you a tight hug, but immediately withdrew because it was dangerous, due to the scissor you were holding in your hand.

"Dove...? What is that thing doing in your hand?"

"Oh, this?" The innocent smile on your face was hard not to fall for, but somehow it made him feel terror instead of adoration. "I'm going to cut your hair for you! I just saw a video on youtube about haircuts, and one of them looked very nice in the end. I wish I could do it on my own hair, but I cant do it properly even with a mirror, and you have the nicest hair, So here I am!" You winked at him while moving the scissor in the air. "C'mon Kolya! Let's go to the bath room! Promise I'll be gentle~ Promise I'll make you look good in the end~ So, let me cut that pretty hair of yours!"

"Like... How long?" His expression had changed from cheerful to reserved, with hints of fear in his eyes; and this made you feel like you were on cloud nine, since you were the one who always got teased by him. "I'll cut it short baby, very short! Like any other guy's hair style these days! And I wanna keep your beautiful braid too! Maybe we can even sell it! I heard they pay well for fluffy long hair and make wigs out of them!"

"Is that so?" "Yes. That is it"

Nikolai smiled, took one last look at your hand holding the scissor, and then ran for his life.

"Hey- Nikolai where are you going! Come back! I wanna cut your hair!" "Get away from me you crazy woman! I won't ever let you touch my precious hair again!"

Of course he was, since he couldn't get a day without you running your fingers through his hair, but you didn't need to know that for now.

↳Ranpo Adogawa

You smiled at the sight of your boyfriend enjoying himself, tasting the tray full of macaroons you made for him. It made your heart drop at how he closed his eyes every time he took a bite from the pastry, licking his lips afterwards as he stuffed his hand with another one. You hadn't even tasted them, brought them to him to brighten his mood which was ruined due to not having any interesting cases to solve today. You knew he had a sweet tooth, and you knew just the perfect way to cheer him up.

"Do you like them?" You placed a hand under your chin and watched him picking another one, leaving just one last heart shaped macaroon on the tray.

"Mhm! They taste really good! Almost as good as the one I bought from the bakery last week!" "I'm glad you like them then"

He smiled endearingly back at you, which made you feel butterflies in your stomach. You were overwhelmed with how cute he looked at the moment, and how proud he was at his talented girlfriend. Maybe it was the reason why you became stupid enough to think you can have the last macaroon, as you reached to grab it.

Smash!

Suddenly both of you froze, him looking at his hand, and you looking at your hand which was decorated with his fingerprints, with your eyes widened.

He... just slapped your hand away?

After all you've done for him? Really? So he can't even give up on one stupid macaroon either?

Ungrateful little shit.

Looking around while sulking, you're eyes was suddenly met with the perfect person, and the perfect idea popped into your head.

"Fukuzawa-san! Please come here for a bit!"

Ranpo immediately saw through your evil plan and tried to snatch the macaroon from the tray, but it was too late; Fukuzawa was walking toward you, with his eyes fixated on the pastry.

Ranpo felt like he wanted to die.

"I made these macaroons and Ranpo enjoyed them so much! He was so impressed with my cooking skills that he suggested I should bring some to you! As you can see, he couldn't hold himself back from eating them, so there's just one left. But he really wants you to enjoy it as well because you were having a really busy schedule these days!"

Fukuzawa observed the macaroon before looking at the detective. "Is that true Ranpo?"

Well, how could he say no? When he looked so delighted by the lie fact that he cared about him?

"Yes... I... Yes..."

"Well then, I won't turn your offer down."

When he put the macaroon in his mouth, you could clearly see Ranpo's hands shaking. You watched the president going to his office after thanking you, and chuckled evilly.

"Yeah, that's what you get for treasuring sweets more than m- Oh my god Ranpo are you actually crying?"

Well he was going to, until you make him dozens of macaroons to make up for your evil doings.

↳Chuuya Nakahara

You stood in front of your boyfriend as you proudly presented the little wine bottles filled with roses. He knew that he was supposed to praise you, call you a genius with so much passion about art and shit, but he just couldn't. All he could care about was how the bottles were not carrying wine instead of those stupid flowers.

"Babe...?" "Yes honey?" "They look... really nice... but-" "I know right? We can put them in the balcony! I'm sure it would look amazing!" "Right... but... What happened to the wine?"

"What?" You looked at him pretending to be dumbfounded, feeling a teeny tiny bit guilty from how you were messing with him. The wine was all in a barrel hidden in the closet, and you could cheer him up by showing it to him afterwards; so why not have a little fun now?

"The wine, babe" He was trying hard, Really hard to keep his cool; and it was hard, Really hard. "The bottles were filled with wine before I head off to work. They- They were really old- they were expensive- They were- I- Where is the wine Y/n?"

"Oh the wine you mean? Well I had to empty the bottles to be able to use them, so..." "You threw them away?" He cut you off as he prayed to god the answer won't be yes, but...

"Yes baby. I threw them away to fill them with red roses. Intelligent, right?"

Yes. You were very intelligent, since you found the perfect way to give the strongest ability user a heart attack.

"I- You- What the- Why- I need a dri- No, I need a smoke" He gripped his cheek as he tried not to snap out, going to the bloody balcony as he left you with the satisfaction of being able to successfully prank him.

Reblogs are wildly appreciated! :)))

Before I send u the information, I wanted to thank u again for being so nice and accepting my request even though the event was already closed, you're such a sweetheart, really! 😣💗

So, starting with my appearance; I have greenish brown eyes, my hair is long and naturally red and I have some scattered freckles. My body is hourglass-shaped, not chubby but not skinny either. I'm 5'2 and I feel a little bad when people comment about my height, especially in jokes. (I'm a little insecure about my whole body itself; I think I'm too short, my breasts are too big compared to the rest of my body and I don't feel confident exposing it, mainly because of my s/h scars... but I'm trying to change it little by little).

As for my personality, Iʼm an intj, and my enneagram is 5w4. Iʼm quite shy and serious when Iʼm among strangers and in social situations, but Iʼm much more energetic when Iʼm with my (few) friends. Iʼm kind of "antisocial"; a complete disaster when it comes to socializing, so I hate going to crowded and noisy shitty places.

Because of my tendency for introspection, I've had a Dark Academy lifestyle since childhood; I read constantly and am passionate about literature, history, classical music, philosophy, and the arts in general. I've been singing and playing the piano for almost ten years, music is one of my biggest passions, as well as art, as I've also been drawing and painting since I was a child!

Talking about relationships, I'd say that I'm not the best person for this. Idk how to handle my own emotions, and expressing them is a bit difficult (I also have trust issues). Although touch isnʼt my love language, I try to show it in other ways, especially through words of affirmation and quality time. Since talking about my feelings is a very complicated thing, the simple act of verbalizing what I feel means that the feeling is huge, you know? I also value experiencing delightful moments with my love, whether they are remarkable or not. Just the opportunity to be by his side and enjoy his company means a lot to me! In a relationship, Iʼm looking for someone intelligent, calm, and who is willing to understand my issues and respect my need for personal space. Iʼm the kind of person who hates clinginess, but makes a small exception just for someone in particular (and Iʼd like my partner to be like me; not so clingy, but also not so cold and distant, yk?). I'm passionate abt people with whom I can have deep and intellectual conversations, especially abt topics such as art, philosophy, history, etc. I also have a certain inclination to seek validation when I'm in a relationship: I do everything to please and expect the person to acknowledge and do the same, making it clear that they love me (sorry but I have a huge praise kink and I kinda like like possessive behavior, because, for some reason, it reassures me that I'm loved💀).

holy shit, I'm sorry for sending this massive ask! I got carried away and said more than I should have. But so, who do you think I'll match with? 🖤

(...and sorry if there are any grammar mistakes, English is not my first language 😭)

Fandom: Bungou Stray Dogs

Format: Headcanons

Warnings: NSFW! content at the end, MDNI!

Word Count: 1.03K

A/n: Tysm anon, and I'm sorry I forgot to post this. I'm really sorry😭

I match you with...

Fyodor Dostoevsky!

Ah look at him in this pic. SO HANDSOME-

I think you're the perfect prey for this mischievous man🚶🏻‍♀️🤝🏻

Like, seriously lmao. He will enjoy teasing you A LOT. IDT he will comment on your body cause you're his S/o and there's definitely something special about you... So he doesn't want to break you. It's just... Fyodor, you know what I mean? He teases in his own way. By doing small affectionate moves like, reaching for your hand when he's reading a book (I can definitely see him doing that because you're not clingy/touchy so he has to do something about it), and suddenly letting go claiming that he wants to turn the page over just to see you pout and look the other way as your cheeks turn red since you're too shy to say anything/protest.

Fyodor doesn't care about body shape, ok? He's not that type of guy. He finds value in your personality. Whether you're cocky and idiotic, or intelligent and mischievous, or a mix of both. He doesn't want a S/o who's dumb, but he also has to have power on you. And believe me, it doesn't matter if your obedient or not, Fyodor will bring you down to your knees if he desires.

"Iʼm looking for someone intelligent, calm, and who is willing to understand my issues and respect my need for personal space" I think you just described Fyodor😭😭😭He will give you personal space maybe a bit too much, to the point that you're begging him to interrupt your personal space lmao🚶🏻‍♀️ But he will understand these all. He's calm, intelligent AF and yet a very simple man. You got it babe, as long as you're willing to be his pretty little mouse🚶🏻‍♀️ (You don't have a choice nut let's not scare you shall we?)

But seriously Fyodor isn't a bad man =| IK that he likes to be the one in charge and stuff but don't tell me that you aren't enjoying it?! Like, it's FYODOR DOSTOEVSKY?!! He has some goals he needs to achieve, but he might will make time for you as well.

I think he would be into someone who's not goofy y'know? Someone who's maybe a bit quiet, shy when it comes to touching and stuff because he needs to see his effect on you(the blushing/getting flustered), obedient or he will make you be🚶🏻‍♀️, and maybe a bit idk... crazy? About him of course. Like, be obsessed with him. You're personality is kinda close to that, so yes, I can see something happening between the two of you.

Imagine him sitting on the sofa taking a sip of his tea with his eyes closed as he listened to the delightful melody of the piano. How your talented hands run around on the keys, creating such beautiful symphony. He will smile by the end of the song and praise you as he stares into your eyes that are filled with the need of his approval😭

"So elegant of you, my dear. Being able to play such tricky instrument like you were born for it. As expected of my little Myshka"

GOD-😭😭😭😭😭😭

His praises are rare so enjoy these little moments-

Fyodor is delighted by you. You will have so many discussions when he has free time, about anything related to Philosophy, etc. He gets fascinated by your view on things when it's not similar to his; and if you point out something that he surprisingly hasn't considered/ thought about? He admires you. Might not straightforwardly tell you, but you can get it from his soft smile and his stare on your face when you describe your theory, meaning that he's interested in you.

POSSISSIVE. I actually cannot say that enough🚶🏻‍♀️

Fyodor is picky about his significant other, and if he chooses someone, it means that they're his and only his. No man will live to see the next day if he even dreams about laying a finger on you. Like, the barista tries to flirt with you? You will not see him at the coffee house the next day. And as much as you feel bad for the poor guy, it makes you feel butterflies in your stomach knowing your boyfriend had taken care of him. It means that in his crowded complicated mind, you're there somewhere, important enough for him to stop planning shit for a moment and take care of people who dare to take a liking toward his belongings. It makes you feel important, proud of yourself.

OK ANON THE REST IS NSFW CUZ I COULDN'T HELP MYSELF SO DON'T READ IT IF YOU'RE A MINOR THANK YOU

If you ever wear a lingerie for him... OMG

He appreciates it a lot. Will teasingly caress your scars, smiling at how you shudder at the feeling of his cold fingertips on your warm breast. Oof, he might even kiss them if he's in the mood that day, and YOU WILL LITERALLLY FALL INTO HIS LAP IF HE DOES THAT CUZ YOU JUST HAD A HEART ATTACK OMG-

TEASE. TEASE.

You're shy and quiet? OH, that's funny, cause you're the exact opposite when you're in this guy's hands🚶🏻‍♀️🤝🏻

He will have you whining, moaning, crying, begging for him to touch you more, and it will just make him smirk at how you're this needy for him despite not being touchy with others. He loves it. It feels his ego knowing he's the only one in your heart, Which is why he will treasure you and make you come if you've been acting like a good girl for him.

Holds you close to himself. Don't you dare break eye contact or tilt your head to the other side. He will grab your jaw and force you to look back at him, and might punish you if it pisses him too much. He needs to see your pretty face. He needs to see how much he got you worked up, how much of a mess you've become for him, and only him. He needs to see your face turning red, and he loves it when your moans get so loud that he has to silence them with a deep, passionate kiss ♡

Tysm for participating and giving me the opportunity to write for this man anon, GOD BLESS YOUR SOUL-

Chuuya, talking to the prisoner: Huh! You think you can resist against me? I will do anything to get information out of you! I will torture you! I will make you wish you were a hundred times dead! I will-

Y/n: I'll tell you everything if you give me something.

Chuuya: What is it that you want?

Y/n: Your dick, obviously?

Chuuya:

Chuuya: Why am I surrounded with fucked up weirdos-

Also Chuuya, unzipping his pants: Make it quick bitch.

We Chuuya suckers are weird and we're proud of that🚶🏻‍♀️

Do not interact if...

§ You're homophobic, pedophile, racist, sexist and last but not least, a purist.

§ You have a problem with cussing and Humor (Please go away I'm trying to have a nice time here).

§ You're uncomfortable with NSFW content.

§ You have a problem with selfshipping.

§ You're a minor/Ageless blog who wants to interact with my NSFW posts (Interacting with my SFW posts is ok).

§ You have a problem/Don't like what I write. Don't like? Then don't read. Nobody sent you an invitation.

§ You're a dead loss who has nothing else to do other than sending hate/offend me and people who interact with me.

To be updated...

Info/Request rules

§ Blank blogs dni! I might mistake you for a robot and block you, so please set a title and a profile for your account.

§ I write both SFW and NSFW.

§ I write all genres and themes for SFW, however; I have some limitations when it comes to NSFW content.

§ I won't write pedophilia, rape, pegging, etc. I'm open to writing stepcest tho👀

§ I'm also open to most kinks but check with me just to make sure.

§ I will not do requests I'm uncomfortable with. I have the right to ignore asks I'm unable to write.

§ I will not write about mental health disorders.

§ I will not write about certain abilities or reader with a similar personality to a character from another show.

§ I do ship characters with each other, but this blog is only for my display of obsession with sexy fictional characters. However, I will end you if you insult my favourite ships. Be respectful please.

§ I only write for female reader.

§ Please be specific when you request. Your request must include what type of content you want (Drabble, Headcanons, Fic, Thirst, etc), the genre you want (Fluff, smut, humor, etc) and of course, the name of the character you wish to be shipped with.

§ Please read the warnings before interacting with my work. I do not take any responsibility if you feel any kind of discomfort after reading the content.

§ Be as specific as you can about what you want in your request.

§ Do not interact with my NSFW work of you're a minor. I won't block you or anything; hell I won't even notice because I don't have time to check all the people's profiles who have interacted with my post (Excuse me for having a life) and also, because I'm not your mom. So if you wanna ruin your innocence or fuck up your life, why would I give a shit then? Suit yourself =| I'm just telling you this for your own good and because it kinda makes me uncomfortable.

§ I will not write smut for minor characters. Only aged up ones.

§ Check out my writing list to see if the character you wanna request for is available.

§ You can find my answers to questions dropped in my ask box under the hashtag #Letters to Ash on @ashthemadwriter-uwu

§ It might take me a while to come up with a plot so be patient please.

§ I'm not a native English speaker and I don't have time to proofread so bare with me.

§ I will not do match ups unless I'm holding a match up event.

I hope you have a nice time on my blog, and feel free to drop an ask/slide into my DM whenever you feel chatty :)♡

Smacking their ass

Fandom: Jujutsu Kaisen

Pairing: Sukuna, Toji, Itadori, Megumi, X Fem!Reader

Genre: Humor

Format: Drabble

Warnings: Suggestive content, Mild NSFW content on Toji's part cuz he's daddy

Word Count: 0.8K

A/n: For a person who hates her ass to get slapped and loves to slap her man's ass, I'm a bit bold.

↳Sukuna

It wouldn't take him long to notice your small steps approaching him from behind. He can tell how hard you're trying to remain unnoticed from the way you hold your breath and avoid making the slightest noises, and it might have been efficient, really; if you hadn't chosen the wrong person to mess with.

"Don't even think about it"

His serious tune is enough to freeze you in the spot, your eyes twitching with surprises as you watch his figure from behind.

Not even bothering to turn around. Of course.

"I... I was..." "No need to make up excuses, brat. I already know about everything going on in that little head of yours"

He now turns around to show off that playful smirk of his, and you both know that he doesn't need to remind you that you can't play anything funny on the strongest creature in the world. You then gasp when you feel a harsh slap against your butt, which has enough force to make you jump in the spot.

"See? That's how it should be" He gives you one last chuckle before going back to whatever he was doing, leaving you all sulky and unsatisfied with how things turned out in the end.

↳Toji

Years of going to secret missions and slaying people earned him an amazing hearing ability, so he will sense your appearance the minute you step inside the room. You were never good at sneaking up to people, but that doesn't mean he can't pretend like he isn't aware of your presence. He's curious to know what you're planning on, after all.

So when you stand behind him and aim for his butt, you think that you've won; but just a second before your palm lands on his ass, your hands are suddenly seized by his,twisting them so your body falls into his embrace, your back facing his chest.

"What do you think you're doing?" His low pitched whisper against your ear is enough to send shivers down your spin.

"Misbehaving now are we? Well, I guess I don't have any choice but to teach you some manners"

When he slaps your ass for the hundredth time as youre bent over on his lap, you low key regret planning on doing something like this to him; but deep down, you knew it would turn out like this, and you would be lying if you say that your wetness Is caused by something else, not the amount of power he has over you.

↳Megumi

It's a casual date night, you on the couch watching TV as your boyfriend prepares dinner which he got its recipe from Itadori. The only difference is that tonight your favourite show got cancelled and the now the news is being broadcast instead. It's only natural for you to feel bored and peek in the kitchen to check on Megumi, right?

And when you do, you see that everything is clean, the dishes are all washed, a pleasant smell has filled the room, everything is so perfect; yet all that catches your attention is how nice his butt looks from behind as he's standing in front of the cooker.

Target locked, processing attack, three, two, one...

Slap!

"Nice ass man!"

He doesn't have to turn around so you can see his reaction. From how he suddenly froze and his whole body tensed up, you can tell that the poor man is stunned.

When you leave him behind cause apparently, "your job is done", he can clearly hear you burst out into laughter, and he cannot help but to think about how you're going to be the death of him.

↳Itadori

Watching Itadori doing literally anything is pleasant to the eye. The way his muscles protrude against the fabric of his hoodie when he bends to pick up things from the floor has you drooling over the sight. But the thing that's giving you the massivest brainstorm at the moment is, how come you've never noticed how much of a fine ass this man has?

You can't take your eyes off it because, it's right there? In front of you? With nobody touching it???

Maybe God is trying to give you some hints, which you'll gladly pick up.

So when he bends over, again, to reach out for the tray that used to contain sweets, suddenly something hits his ass, not so gently.

Of course the man is shocked; so when he turns around to see who's this trespasser that has violated his privacy, he's met with your huge ass smile and your brightened face.

"Quite a nice ass you got there, my Friend"

Itadori would've thanked you when he got through the whole situation eventually, but all he can think about now is how you called him "Friend" instead of "boyfriend"

Reblogs are appreciated! :)♡