Ranpo X Y/n - Tumblr Posts

GUYS WHAT THE FUCK THIS IS UNDERRATED AS FUCK WHERE ARE THE THOUSANDS OF NOTES??? I LOVE THIS THIS IS SO ANXJAJXIAJSQISNAXJAKDJAIXIAJSKAA PLEASE READ THIS

Hi! Can I request Ranpo and Beast in the Shadows for the 300 Followers Event? If that's okay with you of course!

yes it's very much okay with me HAHA I remember enjoying this novella more than I thought I would taglist: @irethepotato, @kisara-16reblogs, @thatdazaikin, @dazaee

Shadow based on Beast in the Shadows (陰獣）

300 Followers Event Masterlist Summary: How could something so celebrated such as love be so painful? Pairing: Ranpo x GN!Reader Genre: Angst. Pure Angst. Word Count: 1.2k Warnings: death, mentions of abuse, suicide (and not proofread oop) A/N: The ending! Imo it's what gave this work so much character from the usual mystery novel. Decided to absolutely forego Edogawa-sensei's writing style because this fanwork is just reveling in angst HAHA hope this is okay!

WARNING: If you plan on reading the original work, please do so first! This contains MAJOR MAJOR spoilers for it! (It's a mystery novel so yes)

Every single piece had finally fallen perfectly into place in his head, and the picture before him was perfectly clear.

“Y/N.”

He opened his eyes to your crumbling form, tears about to spill from your beautiful eyes. For every second longer that his gaze lingered, the knot in his throat tightened. This was not how things were supposed to be – this wasn’t what this room was for. The setting sun’s light that painted an enchanting glow on your sweet face wasn’t meant to accentuate the tragedy about to unfold.

But even before he first stepped inside his decision had already been set in stone.

Each of your attempts to reclaim the warm Edogawa Ranpo you once knew, he brushed off coldly for turning away now would do nothing.

“Y/N, I know who killed your husband.”

You sat there silently while you stared at him with the same imploring eyes. It’s almost as if you knew his intentions from the start – not even a shred of curiosity or surprise could be found on your sullen face.

He took out a familiar, crumpled map and unfolded it. It was the same one used in the investigation, marked with red ink and covered in sticky notes. Everything was the same as it had been, except for one new addition.

“The location of all the residences of this stalker of yours… when you connect them together, it makes almost a perfect circle. Why would that be?”

Usually, you’d answer with your own theories. He’d listen intently even to the most ridiculous ones as long as they came from your lovely mind. Perhaps he’d tease you a bit and remind you of his greatness, but now a single glance at you was all it took for him to lose the patience for an answer that wouldn’t come.

“That means the perpetrator takes the same amount of time to get there and return to their true residence: right here.” His finger lightly tapped twice the center of the circle. “And that place is…?”

You continued to sob, ignoring his question. “Ranpo-san please stop.”

“It’s your house, Y/N. Your house.”

His voice cracked upon emphasis of it being yours – the betrayal hitting harder now than it did when he first saw it all. How could he have been so blind? But rather than at you or himself, the anger and frustration were directed to how ludicrous the whole situation was.

Going so far as to set up a fictitious third party and frame them as the culprit, concealing your true identity as both an accomplished writer and murderer, and all the while ensnaring him with your tender caresses…

You only resolved to flee from your abusive husband when you fell in love with Ranpo – that was the great detective’s conclusion.

You averted your eyes as more tears ran down your cheek. Watching everything crumble and witness the last thing he wanted to see was unbearable; how much more unbearable was this for you?

“You could have asked for help! From someone, from anyone. You didn’t- you shouldn’t have done it, Y/N. There are other ways, other places you could have run to-“

Was that true? Was there, without a doubt, somewhere safe for you to live a new life? That pig would have hounded you – worse, kill you in the most painful way possible the moment he found you again.

That’s why many victims could never leave even if they wanted to.

Ranpo then remembered his own and the Agency;  they were an option, for sure! Why hadn’t you asked them, then? They would have gotten that bastard in jail with not much issue as long as you were willing to-

I should have just killed him!

The cries of the teenage boy of the other case they were dealing with suddenly pierced his memory. You were there too - before all of this shit happened - and you heard it all. How brutally his mother had been murdered by her ex fresh out of jail. How lonely and bitter the family was.

He suddenly remembered that that was the same day he saw your lonely eyes turn fearful.

There is no escape from death but with death itself.

“…turn yourself in. Then forget everything that ever happened here.”

You finally looked back at him. The grip on his cape slowly loosened and your hand fell lifelessly like the sun that sunk below the window’s horizon.

Without your resistance, Ranpo was able to slowly stand up and take in your figure engulfed by shadows one last time. It was the complete opposite of all the rendezvous you had together. How strange it was; how pathetic you seemed.

He’d left you alone in that apartment along with all the fondness he once had for you.

Who’d have known he’d the flame of love would burn in him so wildly? It must have been lit in him when your lips touched his; your own fire easily taking over him. What a dangerous disease – what a terrible torment that he was fortunate to snuff out before it destroyed him completely.  

That is, the fate of those consumed by raging fire was falling into the cold depths of unfeeling water.

“Don’t give me that shit.”

It was only a week after when a body was found floating under a boat near the mouth of the river – it was yours. Strangely enough it was almost identical to the way your husband’s corpse had been discovered.

He refused to believe the news until he saw and touched your body for himself. This could just be another of your schemes, right? Scaring him like that in order to bring him back to you, begging that things be brought to how they were before.

But there you were, lying cold and motionless before him. In the back of his mind he imagined you’d turn to him and coax him to lie into your open arm, just like how you’d done so many times before.

Yet it was the memory of your last meeting that prevailed in his heart: the regret and sorrow from the realization that he had been too harsh on you that evening.

He had killed you with his words.

“Y/N… I’m sorry. I’m so sorry-“

No apology, no matter how sincere and desperate, would turn back time. He could have been wrong: your silence could have meant nothing. Your stalker could have been a flesh-and-blood human who pushed you to your demise, still roaming around the streets of Yokohama. There had to be someone the blame can be thrown on. There had to be someone who could heal the open wound left in his heart. There had to be someone-

Time and time again he’d revisit the same places and evidences in an attempt to find something new. A lead, a suspect, anything. But time washes away traces of the incident like rain slowly eroding loose soil.

In the end he was left with a soggy pile of cinders. It could no longer hold a flame no matter what he did, and amidst the warm light of the fading sun a frigid silence remained.

Only guilt had followed him religiously, like a tortuous beast in the shadows.

Good luck with your blog! Your writing is so sweet! ^////^

𝘊𝘰𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘦: 1

𝘿𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙚𝙧𝙩: 3 + 4 (gotta love mutual pining)

𝘼𝙙𝙙-𝙤𝙣𝙨: 2 (idk if this can be used to describe a personality trait)

𝙎𝙥𝙚𝙘𝙞𝙖𝙡𝙨: 6 1 (i guess a sprinkling of 2)

𝘾𝙤𝙛𝙛𝙚𝙚 𝘿𝙚𝙨𝙞𝙜𝙣: Ranpo

Thank you! I’ll be a returning customer so get used to me being a tad annoying lol

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Why hello there- i somewhat forgot that i have tumblr..but i’m back! tho i think i’ll give your orders rarely from now on. The cafe will still be open! 

I’ll be making a customer list to make sure to add your name or emoji when you make an order! i’ll also be making a tag list. please to dm me if you’d like me to tag on every order i give

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Content warning: N/A

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I think I’ve let my feelings win for the first time

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◈ Thinking of him makes your small and strict heart flutter, and the butterflies in your stomach have been multiplying every time you see him. You have this urge to just wrap your arms around him protectively and make him yours forever.

◈ Does he feel the same way, though? It doesn’t matter. At least that’s what you think. What if he doesn’t like you back? That would be embarrassing. The worlds greatest detective liking you? What a joke.

◈ You need to tell him what you feel, to know if he does like you back. Just because you think that he does not like you doesn’t mean that he won’t reciprocate your feelings. You think too many negative thoughts. Let’s make the first move, shall we? ———————————————————-

uHi hi! Here for a request (´-ι_-｀)

𝘊𝘰𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘦 Order number: 1

𝘿𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙚𝙧𝙩 Order number: 1, 22 & 23

𝘼𝙙𝙙-𝙤𝙣𝙨 Order number: 4 & 20

𝙎𝙥𝙚𝙘𝙞𝙖𝙡𝙨 Order number: 1

𝘾𝙤𝙛𝙛𝙚𝙚 𝘿𝙚𝙨𝙞𝙜𝙣: Yosano Akiko (Platonic) and Edogawa Ranpo

Hello again Kau! I was wondering if you can do the same kitsune reader (from my first Ranpo req) sparring with Yosano? Like they just met and Yosano’s first instinct was to ask to spar? lol idk if that would make sense

If theres to much to do or your busy you can delete this req! Your health matters more than a request ofc so dont hurry or pressure urself!

But many thanks if you decide to do this ^ㅂ^

Sending love and support !(•̀ᴗ•́)و̑

- i-preferthem^^

I was exploring the options now i cant get the gif off tf help- anyways please dont mind this- i was also trying to add a Ranpo gif from my phone is it seen when i send this?? Im panicking i cant get this mf gif off ):<

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It’s okay dear, i removed it for you. Hopefully, you’ll get the right one next time, yes?

I’ll be rushing most of my drafts today, after all, i took too many breaks, did i not? I still don't know how to narrate a fight scene so please bare with me on this.

here’s your order, dear.

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Content warning: Weapons?

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Let the sparring begin!

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◈ Walking up the stairs, with your lover’s arm hanging around your neck, you sigh and stomp lightly on the last step. “can you go down now?” you ask, carrying your lover up the stairs made you a bit tired. “hmm..how about..no!” he shouts lightly, mumbling a string of curses and walking in front of the door and twisting the knob, you were greeted by 6 people looking at you and ranpo. 

◈ Ignoring all the stares, you walk to your lover's desk and sat him down, turning around to face the others, you decided to introduce yourself, “Greetings, my name is-” the door opened and you saw a woman wearing a white button-up blouse with puffy sleeves that end in the middle of her forearm. Her shirt is tucked into a plain black skirt that flares out above the knee. She wears gloves that reach past her wrist, a black tie, black tights, red high heels, and a golden butterfly hairpin on the left side of her head.

◈ Her eyes and yours connect as she suddenly says “Care to spar with me?” Looking back at your lover, he smiles at you and nods. “Come then, i own a training gym.” as soon as you said that, ranpo jumped on your back as you hold onto his legs to carry him back.

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KING CRIMSON

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◈ Flipping the switch, the three of you were greeted by an arena and a gym. Ranpo draped off of your shoulder and sat somewhere. "Might as well prepare to spar. Do you want to use any weapons?" You ask walking to a dressing room.

◈ "I'd like to have a fist fight first." She says while stretching. "Noted." Walking out of the dressing room, you wore a black sleeveless turtle neck and black pants. The two of you went inside the arena as you both heared a shout. "Are you both ready? Let the sparring begin!"

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ㅤㅤus, the happiless.

‧₊˚.synopsis: his job was to bring joy back to people who had been tainted with suffering. he was the best agent, always managing to bring smiles to those most in need, providing long moments of happiness to those who had already suffered enough. ㅤㅤbut the problem was, once contaminated by suffering, the patient's improvement was almost impossible —and not even the best agents could escape the line of fate. ㅤㅤfor he was destined to fail, to fall, to question, to love.

‧₊˚.company: bungou stray dogs. ㅤ˖°.clients: ranpo edogawa, gn!reader. ㅤ˖°.request: multi-chapter. ㅤㅤ˖°.world: dystopian! ㅤㅤ˖°.warnings: fluff, angst, slow-burn, characters death. ‧₊˚.total word count: 1.554k.

‧₊˚.HAPPIN-US ARCHIEVE ㅤㅤ˖°.case file #01...THE WEIGHT OF HAPPINESS. ㅤㅤ˖°.case file #02...TIMELESS ACHIEVEMENTS. ㅤㅤ˖°.case file #03...ALL THE CORRUPT REALITIES. ㅤㅤ˖°.searching.................

foranpo © 2023, all rights reserved. please do not repost or steal my work.

Imagine reader who has big tits but is insecure about them, like she’s a E cup?

Since the character is not specified I will go with Ranpo, for some reason I can just see this man being in love with them. 

Ranpo X Reader

Tags: tit slapping, food play, female reader pussy and tits

Ranpo and Thoughts about Cups: 

This living man-child has everything he needs, food, love, sex and the agency to fool around. 

There is not a day that goes with him not touching your boobs, “ they are my cute suckers ‘ he would say in a pouty voice like a kid crying for candy. 

You had big tits, E cup and it was not easy to avoid the starters you get if you wear a tight dress or short top “Wow…” “Is that real ?” you could hear people say without even caring about your feelings. 

But the moment you started dating the world's greatest detective it all changed, The man would hug your chest even before hugging him “They are lovely why not wear this ?” he would hold out the shortest top you had ever seen when you go shopping with you.  

You would say it's odd and that people would stare at you but then he would tilt his head confused “Of course they would, it's lovely and they are jealous “ he said and would force you to buy the top

If anyone ever made an inappropriate comment he would glare at them while pulling you close to him, even if his words were not the best sort of comfort his actions were enough. 

Sex was mostly you bouncing on him as he sucked your nipples making them red “Ran..po it hurt..” you whined moaning holding his hair and trying to peel him off your chest. 

Getting a smack you yelped “Don't disturb my meal “ he said licking off the chocolate syrup on your chest “Please let me cum..” you whine. It has been how long you had no idea but he had cum twice while stopping his moments the moment you were about to cum. 

“ Then “ he said peeking with his bright emerald eyes from your chest “ will you complain ?” he asked landing another smack and this time it was your tits. Whimpering you nodded “No I won't “. 

Not satisfied with the answer he landed another slap making you sob out choked sorries “I am sorry …” you said. Seeing you sob made him hard and feel bad at the same time yet he choose to be mean “Good, no you won't cum while I get to cum “ he said pinching your nipples and shooting his load him “These are mine and they are lovely . No one talks bad about them not even you “ he said fucking your pussy through his cum leaking down your tighs.

ADA Men with an S/O with Social anxiety (BSD)

Characters: Dazai, Ranpo, Kunikida, Atsushi

PM!& Maybe DOA version will come later

Dazai:

- …Good Luck

- Not that he’s bad with helping you out although he’ll try to push you out of your comfort zone a lot

- He’ll do that by introducing him to his coworkers/friends and try to get you in more situations to help you

- But he’ll also still be his usual self and tease you in public + PDA (though hes trying his best not to go overboard)

- If you ever get nervous/nauseous before meeting with someone he’ll be there to comfort you with cuddles and kisses

- If you ever cancel on him because your social anxiety he will get sad and mention it “bella, why’d you have to cancel on meee”

- Whenever you guys make plans he also makes sure to schedule a few days in advance so you can prepare for the outing

Ranpo:

- The best and worse in this case

- Ranpo won’t really know how to help you out whenever your nervous/nauseous for an outing… But he tries might give you some sweets

- Also he definitely knew you had social anxiety the moment he laid eyes on you

- He also wouldn’t understand how you have social anxiety much but hes not going to pry deep into that topic

- If you ever cancel on him he might cry (which would be worse then anything your brain can think of so don’t cancel on him)

- He’ll also expect an apology cuddle session at the agency (if you don’t work there that doesn’t matter, you’ll be there anyway)

Kunikida:

- Will be worried about it/be careful not to cross important boundaries

- He wouldn’t know much to do, unless you talk with him about it

- Might give you some space when your anxious, but if you vomit he’ll be there to help you

- Always plans on his schedule at least 10 minutes before an outing to help you calm down a bit

- He will get annoyed at you if you ruin his perfect schedule (which might start an argument)

- Overall… He can be the best sometimes but also not great at all

Atsushi:

- He’s also a bit anxious of social situations so he understands a bit where you come from

- He’ll try his hardest to comfort you but he might not be the best at it (he’s trying his hardest though)

- Also will introduce you to the people at the agency unless you work there, then you guys get to go on assignments together!

- If your feeling unwell/nauseous he will be there with you to rub your back (also to hold your hair if its long)

- You guys will probably both be hugging eachother go prepare for new situations

- He will also whisper praises in your ear before & after telling you “I’m proud of you” and “you did well today”

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Thats all for this post! PM version of this will come later. This hc is mostly because I have social anxiety so I hope those with anxiety feel comforted aswell by our amazing ada men.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈Headcannons

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ With an S/O who has Social Anxiety

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ When their s/o thinks their costume doesn’t look great on them

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈Drabbles

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈Textfics

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

Let's tease the BSD boys!

Fandom: Bungou stray dogs

Pairings: Dazai, Fyodor, Nikolai, Ranpo, Chuuya X Fem!Reader

Genre: Crack, Humor, Fluff

Format: Drabble

Warnings: Maybe a bit ooc? That's it ig

Word Count: 1.8K

A/n: Some of them deserve it and some of them don't but what can we do &lt;3

↳Osamu Dazai

"Osamu! I got you a present!"

Your Boyfriend looked up at you from his book, face brightening up as he saw the big red box in your hands. You were clearly struggling to hold it up, so he assumed there was something big and heavy inside. Not that he cared about that though; he was always delighted by the gesture, then the present itself.

"Awww baby! You didn't have t- What the hell?!!"

You let out an innocent chuckle, raising the small puppy you took out of the box as you took a step closer to Dazai who was staring at the poor animal with pure disgust and panic in his widened eyes.

"Oh c'mon 'Samu! Look at him! Isn't he the cutest? Look at how fluffy he is! Wanna give this little guy a hug?" "No! I want you to get this- this evil beast out of here!"

"Beast? Oh c'mon don't be like that big guy! You've always wanted a dog haven't you? Isn't that why you always refer to Chuuya as your dog?" "No? I call him that because I hate dogs and I hate him!"

The sight of Dazai actually being terrified was something so rare and oh, so satisfying. You wish you were recording this and you knew that Kunikida would thank you later on for it.

The dog took his tongue out, causing the bandaged man to let out a snort out of nausea, taking steps rearward to be as distant as he could be with his eternal enemy. What he didn't expect was feeling the wall behind him as his back stuck to it, letting him know he had nowhere else to run to.

"Osamu? Don't you wanna hug him? I went all the way to the pet store to get him for you! You're breaking my heart acting like this! If you don't hug him yourself, then I guess I'll have no choice but to throw him on you" You shrugged your shoulders, trying to hide the smug look on your face; but it was hard because of your huge evil smile.

"Y/n?" "Yes?" "If you do that I'll scream"

Well, who wouldn't want to hear the great Osamu Dazai screaming?

↳Fyodor Dostoevsky

"Dos-kun Dos-kun! Look at what I found at the store!" Nikolai smiled as he placed the small toy mouse on the floor, pointing at it with both of his hands.

"Ta da! See? It's you! Even his skin has the same color as your hair!"

"Is that so?" Fyodor stared at the toy with a blank expression, then looked back to his co-worker with his eyebrows raised. "And how much did this thing cost you?"

"Doesn't matter! Was worse every penny! Look! It can move around too!"

Nikolai bent to wind the toy up, clapping his hands together with joy as it started roving around on the floor, making annoying noises.

"Look! Dos-kun is running away! Dos-kun is speeding up! Awww Dos-kun is moving toward Y/n-"

Bam!

A big hammer landed on the toy mouse, causing it to break apart, pieces scattering on the floor in front of your feet. Both men gasped at your sudden arrival, taken aback by what you just did.

"Wha-" "Oh I'm sorry! Was it yours Nikolai?" You smiled with fake shame as you placed a hand on your mouth. "Oops! Sorry! It's just that... I hate rats! I loath them so much! I can't stand any form of them, not even the artificial ones! I-"

Wizzzzz!

Bam! Bam!

You chuckled while pressing the hammer in your hand, making a gesture to look like a pro. "That should be enough to devastate it. Anyway~ Sorry for that Nikolai. I'll pay you its price though! Just send me the number!"

The men watched you walking away with widened eyes, and one of them put his hand on the other one's shoulder. "Dos-kun?" "...Yes?" "You should sleep with your eyes open at night"

↳Nikolai Gogol

"Kolya~? Where are you~?"

Nikolai's heart was filled with happiness when he heard your voice coming from behind. He turned around and opened his arms to greet you by giving you a tight hug, but immediately withdrew because it was dangerous, due to the scissor you were holding in your hand.

"Dove...? What is that thing doing in your hand?"

"Oh, this?" The innocent smile on your face was hard not to fall for, but somehow it made him feel terror instead of adoration. "I'm going to cut your hair for you! I just saw a video on youtube about haircuts, and one of them looked very nice in the end. I wish I could do it on my own hair, but I cant do it properly even with a mirror, and you have the nicest hair, So here I am!" You winked at him while moving the scissor in the air. "C'mon Kolya! Let's go to the bath room! Promise I'll be gentle~ Promise I'll make you look good in the end~ So, let me cut that pretty hair of yours!"

"Like... How long?" His expression had changed from cheerful to reserved, with hints of fear in his eyes; and this made you feel like you were on cloud nine, since you were the one who always got teased by him. "I'll cut it short baby, very short! Like any other guy's hair style these days! And I wanna keep your beautiful braid too! Maybe we can even sell it! I heard they pay well for fluffy long hair and make wigs out of them!"

"Is that so?" "Yes. That is it"

Nikolai smiled, took one last look at your hand holding the scissor, and then ran for his life.

"Hey- Nikolai where are you going! Come back! I wanna cut your hair!" "Get away from me you crazy woman! I won't ever let you touch my precious hair again!"

Of course he was, since he couldn't get a day without you running your fingers through his hair, but you didn't need to know that for now.

↳Ranpo Adogawa

You smiled at the sight of your boyfriend enjoying himself, tasting the tray full of macaroons you made for him. It made your heart drop at how he closed his eyes every time he took a bite from the pastry, licking his lips afterwards as he stuffed his hand with another one. You hadn't even tasted them, brought them to him to brighten his mood which was ruined due to not having any interesting cases to solve today. You knew he had a sweet tooth, and you knew just the perfect way to cheer him up.

"Do you like them?" You placed a hand under your chin and watched him picking another one, leaving just one last heart shaped macaroon on the tray.

"Mhm! They taste really good! Almost as good as the one I bought from the bakery last week!" "I'm glad you like them then"

He smiled endearingly back at you, which made you feel butterflies in your stomach. You were overwhelmed with how cute he looked at the moment, and how proud he was at his talented girlfriend. Maybe it was the reason why you became stupid enough to think you can have the last macaroon, as you reached to grab it.

Smash!

Suddenly both of you froze, him looking at his hand, and you looking at your hand which was decorated with his fingerprints, with your eyes widened.

He... just slapped your hand away?

After all you've done for him? Really? So he can't even give up on one stupid macaroon either?

Ungrateful little shit.

Looking around while sulking, you're eyes was suddenly met with the perfect person, and the perfect idea popped into your head.

"Fukuzawa-san! Please come here for a bit!"

Ranpo immediately saw through your evil plan and tried to snatch the macaroon from the tray, but it was too late; Fukuzawa was walking toward you, with his eyes fixated on the pastry.

Ranpo felt like he wanted to die.

"I made these macaroons and Ranpo enjoyed them so much! He was so impressed with my cooking skills that he suggested I should bring some to you! As you can see, he couldn't hold himself back from eating them, so there's just one left. But he really wants you to enjoy it as well because you were having a really busy schedule these days!"

Fukuzawa observed the macaroon before looking at the detective. "Is that true Ranpo?"

Well, how could he say no? When he looked so delighted by the lie fact that he cared about him?

"Yes... I... Yes..."

"Well then, I won't turn your offer down."

When he put the macaroon in his mouth, you could clearly see Ranpo's hands shaking. You watched the president going to his office after thanking you, and chuckled evilly.

"Yeah, that's what you get for treasuring sweets more than m- Oh my god Ranpo are you actually crying?"

Well he was going to, until you make him dozens of macaroons to make up for your evil doings.

↳Chuuya Nakahara

You stood in front of your boyfriend as you proudly presented the little wine bottles filled with roses. He knew that he was supposed to praise you, call you a genius with so much passion about art and shit, but he just couldn't. All he could care about was how the bottles were not carrying wine instead of those stupid flowers.

"Babe...?" "Yes honey?" "They look... really nice... but-" "I know right? We can put them in the balcony! I'm sure it would look amazing!" "Right... but... What happened to the wine?"

"What?" You looked at him pretending to be dumbfounded, feeling a teeny tiny bit guilty from how you were messing with him. The wine was all in a barrel hidden in the closet, and you could cheer him up by showing it to him afterwards; so why not have a little fun now?

"The wine, babe" He was trying hard, Really hard to keep his cool; and it was hard, Really hard. "The bottles were filled with wine before I head off to work. They- They were really old- they were expensive- They were- I- Where is the wine Y/n?"

"Oh the wine you mean? Well I had to empty the bottles to be able to use them, so..." "You threw them away?" He cut you off as he prayed to god the answer won't be yes, but...

"Yes baby. I threw them away to fill them with red roses. Intelligent, right?"

Yes. You were very intelligent, since you found the perfect way to give the strongest ability user a heart attack.

"I- You- What the- Why- I need a dri- No, I need a smoke" He gripped his cheek as he tried not to snap out, going to the bloody balcony as he left you with the satisfaction of being able to successfully prank him.

Reblogs are wildly appreciated! :)))

Me & my hubby!

—When you accidentally introduce your boyfriend as your husband

Fandom: Bungou Stray Dogs

Pairings: Dazai, Chuuya, Fyodor, Ranpo, Akutagawa, Jouno X Fem!Reader

Genre: Fluff, Humor

Format: Drabble

Warnings: Suggestive content in Dazai's

Word Count: 1.6K

A/n: This is very rushed so sorry if its not well written

↳Osamu Dazai

As the door of the fitting room opened, your boyfriend came into sight. The white tuxedo hugged his slim frame perfectly, making his tall figure stand out even more. The color had given him an elegant look, which nearly made you wonder if he was the playful guy you were dating.

Dazai smirked as he picked up on your stun and flashed you a cheeky smirk. "Like what you see, Bella? You're staring a little too hard you know~"

Suddenly the fitting room seemed like the perfect place to show him how much you actually liked his new look. It didn't matter if you made a mess out of the tux, since you were about to buy it anyway.

"Oh Osamu... You should wear white more often"

"Everything alright here?"

The salesclerk was checking up on you with a warm smile.

"Ah yes! We would like to buy this one. It looks gorgeous on my husband"

You didn't exactly pay attention to your words, but seeing Dazai's eyebrows jump in surprise made you question your statement, and...

Oh.

Anxiety washed over you as you weren't exactly unfamiliar with your partner's commitment issues, but much to your surprise, Dazai wasn't upset nor terrified; his huge ass grin was showing off his joy and flatter.

"I'm her husband!"

For god's sake.

The salesclerk on the other hand was looking at you oddly, probably questioning her life choices.

"Ah, ok. Well then would you mind taking the tuxedo off? I'll wrap it up for you"

A snicker left your boyfriend's lips as he pulled you close by your waist. "Sure, but I might need my wife's help to take my clothes off. Will you be kind enough to help me out, Anata?"

"Oh shut up already!"

↳Chuuya Nakahara

One of the benefits of working at the same organization was that when your boyfriend had a mission overseas, you could go with him.

You had just arrived to your hotel after a five hour flight, which made you tired as hell since you couldn't sleep on the airplane. Although that wasn't enough to lessen your excitement for going on what could be some kind of a trip after you finish the job.

"Have you made a reservation beforehand ma'am?"

"No, it was kind of rushed. Would that be a problem?"

The receptionist shook his head to the side. "Not at all. Lucky for you, we still have some rooms available"

The door of the hotel opened and Chuuya came in, approaching you with your luggage in his hand. You looked back at the receptionist. "Great! Then I'd like a room for two people. We're going to be here for a while since my husband needs to take care of some stuff from work; right, honey?"

Chuuya froze in the spot and a light shade of crimson appeared on his cheeks. This was definitely unexpected. It made him feel butterflies in his stomach in a good way and somehow questioned all the logic that made him avoid thinking about the future of your relationship.

"Well your husband doesn't seem to be sure" The receptionist commented in a humorous way. "Alright then, here's your key"

On the way to your room there was a silence that couldn't exactly be marked as "uncomfortable". Chuuya was wearing a warm smile yet so drowned in his thoughts that you refused to take him out of his zone. However, when you reached the door, he suddenly lifted you up, making you suddenly gasp and gaze at him with astonishment.

"What are you doing?"

"What a good husband is supposed to do"

The familiar beam was back on his face.

"I'm carrying my wife to our shared hotel room"

↳Ranpo Edogawa

"Ranpo! You can't eat this whole cake!"

Going to the bakery had become some sort of tradition since you and your boyfriend started dating. You went there every afternoon, tasted the new pastries, you lectured him to not get carried away and he stopped you by shoving a cookie in your mouth. That was pretty much repetitive, except that something extra was coming along today.

"I can and I will. That's why it's called sample y/n" He munched on his cheesecake, delighted by the sweet taste lingering in his mouth.

"Well Mr. detective, It's a sample so you should just take one bite and then move on! If you like it then just buy one!"

The baker chuckled and walked toward you. She knew you since you were regulars there, and she had enough respect for the president to not throw a tantrum over a few pieces of cake. "It's alright Miss y/n. Let the man eat his sweets"

"You don't understand ma'am! My husband eats way too much sweets and that's not healthy at all! What if he comes down with diabetes or something?!"

Ranpo stopped chewing for a brief second and looked at you from the corner of his eye. The lady on the other hand, was more excited than shocked. "You got married? Oh! Congratulations! It's nice to know that Mr. Ranpo has finally settled down!"

You didn't know if you should correct yourself or hide your red cheeks. "I— I meant that— " "Please have some more cake! They're on the house. Consider them a gift from me"

As she left you alone, you finally turned to your boyfriend to see his reaction, which was exactly the way you expected it to be; smug and playful. "Ah, I went into this marriage with so much hope"

"Oh grow up!"

↳Fyodor Dostoevsky

"How's your steak honey?" You asked, looking at your boyfriend with curiosity. He had been taking bites reluctantly, swallowing without actually tasting the meat.

"It's burnt to a crisp, even though I ordered it medium rare" He gently wiped his mouth with the napkin, placing the cutlery on the table. You gave the dish a once over and flagged the waiter down. After a while he approached your table. "Is there a problem, ma'am?"

"Yes. My husband ordered his steak medium rare and as you can see, this is not what he asked for"

My... Husband?

"Eh, so... He'd like his steak... Medium rare... Please?" Awkwardness was hitting you and you really didn't want to be alone with Fyodor right now, but unfortunately, you were on a date and there were no way to escape from it.

The waiter excused himself after apologizing and taking the plate back to the kitchen. He did find your sudden change of expression odd, but he didn't say anything since he wasn't asking for less tip. However, Fyodor was completely ready to bring it up. You could tell that based on his grin, but you were doing your best not to face him at that moment.

Not that it was enough to stop him.

"How's your pasta Mrs. Dostoevsky?" "Fedya! Stop!"

↳Ryuunosuke Akutagawa

Getting sick on valentine's day was not originally your plan, but at least you got to visit the doctor together. You were now waiting for the secretary to call your names.

"How long should we wait?"

Covering your mouth with a tissue, you lightly coughed. "Anytime now. All the people ahead of us went inside"

Akutagawa glanced at the door of the doctor's office and nodded. He had made a reservation at your favorite restaurant today and was planning to take you to some place nice afterwards, get on one knee and ask you to spend the rest of your life with him, but you suddenly got sick. It's not like he could be mad at you. It was not your fault, but... It seemed like the perfect opportunity. The perfect day for a memorable gesture...

"Mrs. Akutagawa! You're up"

Akutagawa.

She was referring to you, with his last name.

You had introduced yourself as Akutagawa. He was sure you did it accidentally since your face was redder than a tomato now, but still, he never thought hearing it would feel so... special.

The raven-haired man held your hand and leaded you to the doctors office, a ghost of a smile spread on his face. He might've lost the chance to propose now, but it's not the end of the world. You're stuck with him and not going anywhere, so he would try to make the perfect plan for a perfect proposal, for the perfect girl.

↳Saigiku Jouno

"Are you sure this is the store?" Your boyfriend crossed his arms.

"For the thousandth time! Yes!" "Well, you were also sure that you knew my size but it turns out you were wrong" "Ugh! Let's just get inside!"

Thanks to his job, Jouno was always on endless missions and barely had time to rest, let alone go shopping. You this T-shirt when you were walking by and you just couldn't help but to imagine your boyfriend in it. It might've cheered him up if it was his size.

The clerk recognized you the second you set foot in the store. "Oh hi ma'am! Welcome back!"

"Hi Amaya. Thank you. So, remember how I was not sure if the T-shirt was my boyfriend's size?"

She only nodded with a forced smile, because how could she forgot? You spent fifteen minutes staring at the T-shirt, wondering if it would fit him.

"Well, it wasn't" Jouno's smile got wider and you sighed. "Yeah yeah, I admit it. I don't know what size is suitable for my husband. I'm the worst partner ever. Can we please change this one and leave?"

"I don't understand ma'am"

For real? You just can't take a break.

"I'm saying that the T-shirt was too big for him!" "Yeah I got that, but I thought he was your boyfriend?" "What do you mean you— oh!"

No.

No no no no no no no no.

Jouno's smirk was still on, and now with a little smugness. He was clearly enjoying himself.

"If this is your way of proposing, it's really lame" "Oh shut up you big jerk!"

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