Me Talking About Glinda To A Friend: But Just Think About It, If Glinda Had No Expectations On Her I

Me talking about Glinda to a friend: But just think about it, if Glinda had no expectations on her I bet she’d just be a gay bubbly ball of energy, full of a anxiety that accidentally blows up a house trying to paint it pink as a prank.

My friend: ;-;

Glinda bubbling from excitement: Elphie! Look! I made you a bracelet!

Elphaba: Oh thanks.. [Takes it but judgingly eyes all the pink and sparkles on it]

Glinda: [Crushed and suddenly angry] Fine! If you don’t like it, I’ll take it and give it to someone else!

Elphaba: [Puts it away from Glinda’s reach and hugs it to her chest] NO! MINE!

Elphaba: Who else here thought Glinda and I were dating?

[Everyone raises their hands]

Elphaba: . . .

Elphaba: Glinda put your hand down.

Glinda: Elphaba, Thank you for agreeing to meet with me.

Elphaba looking up from her book: I didn’t. You came in through our dorm’s window with a fake news reporter uniform, camera, microphone, and fake mustache. Then you just started talking to me, which I did not consent to either.

Elphaba: You can’t make everyone like you! You’re not Glinda.

Nessa: Not everyone likes Glinda.

Elphaba: Who doesn’t like Glinda?

Nessa: Well..

Elphaba pulling out her broom from thin air: Names. Now. Give me their names. Now.

Kidnapper: We have your girlfriend.

Elphaba, not fazed and reading a book: You mean.. you have Glinda?

Kidnapper: Yeah!

Elphaba, not taking her eyes of her book: Good luck, she’ll probably murder you with her high heels once she frees herself.

Kidnapper: What?

Elphaba, finally looking up from her book: What? She may be tiny but she is scary as heck when she threatens you with the tips of her high heels.