The Weeknd Series - Tumblr Posts

⚝A/N: Join me and @aakomii in our collaborative event for this year's moa week! We wrote 5 pieces inspired by The Weeknd's songs and we hope you enjoy our interpretations of their meanings. We're so excited to bring you this series! Feel free to send an ask and join the event's taglist ꒰⁠⑅⁠ᵕ⁠༚⁠ᵕ⁠꒱⁠˖⁠♡

(A)– written by ari

(J)– written by julian

—★—

DIE FOR YOU ⇝ CHOI SOOBIN (A)

↳nerd!soobin x troublemaker!reader, college au, angst, fluff ending, mutual pining, slow burn, violence, bestfriends to lovers, arin from oh my girl (she's bitchy here we're sorry😭)

SAVE YOUR TEARS ⇝ CHOI YEONJUN (J)

↳exes to lovers, angst, heartbreak, fluff ending, yeonjun was a rebound i'm sorry haha

STARGIRL INTERLUDE ⇝ CHOI BEOMGYU (A)

↳rockstar!gyu x reader, exes to lovers, angst, fluff ending, mutual pining, mentions of alcohol

IS THERE SOMEONE ELSE? ⇝ KANG TAEHYUN (J)

↳nobility!au, duchess!reader x viscount!taehyun, angst, fluff ending, established relationship, allusions to cheating

CAN'T FEEL MY FACE⇝ HUENING KAI (A)

↳barista!kai x barista!reader, forbidden love, cafe au, coworkers to lovers, angst, fluff, crack, mutual pining

—★—

TAGLIST: @mental-hollows @forever-in-the-sky2 @yizki @bangchansbae @woncheecks

hi !! Could i be tagged in the weekend event series please !! 🫶

- @mental-hollows

Hi hi!! Yes you can :D

you wrote this SO WELL omfg

the last part was my favourite– ari you're steadily evolving into a QUEEN at dialogue!!

also fhfhdnfd the way she socked him in the gut💀💀 mc wasn't taking any BS and I'm living for it bahah

anyways ari bae came through with the soobin fic of the month ugh😻 absolutely snatched everyone's wig with this piece <333

SYNOPSIS: Watching Soobin fall into the hands of popularity when going into college broke you. You've made many sacrifices to see him happy and be by his side in general. So when he pushes you away, you wonder if he’ll ever reciprocate your undying love.

INCLUDES: nerd!soobin x troublemaker!reader, angst, fluff, slow burn, violence, alcohol consumption, bestfriends to lovers, arin from oh my girl (she’s a bitch in here sorry😭)

WC: 3k

TAGLIST: @forever-in-the-sky2 @yizki

THE WEEKND EVENT MASTERLIST

You and Soobin were like Yin and Yang. While you were the Yin he was your Yang, and vice versa.

Soobin was always a quite and shy boy growing up, which unfortunately made him a main target for bullying. No matter what you never let some stupid boys pick on Soobin. He’s said it himself multiple times, he was never one for violence.

So it was always a wonder to people how you and him were inseparable. You were loud, always getting into trouble for fun, and just an extrovert overall. While Soobin was down to earth, shy, and an introvert. As the both of you got older the dynamic was still there.

That was until he got a major growth spurt, was taller than you, and had some muscle to him. Even though his appearance changed he was still that timid boy you grew up with.

The downside of your best friend going through puberty was he truly did not understand the power he held. By that, you had meant how attractive he’d got. You always found Soobin adorable and to be honest you still did. But if you were like the million girls at college who didn’t know him, he just looked like everyone’s dream boy. Tall, super hot, and kind.

This didn’t help that you had a raging crush on the guy ever since high school. You always told yourself he would never choose you since you were basically a delinquent. It was a mystery on how you were still in school at this point.

“You failed the test again?” Soobin pouted as he held your backpack around his shoulder. A lollipop adorned your mouth as you groaned.

“I told you Soob I only like English class.” He rolls his eyes.

“You should’ve chose an English major then.” He grumbled.

“Hey Soobin!” He turns behind him and you stop walking. It was a guy running up to him, which you recognized when he got closer. Ji Changmin also known as Q around campus. Soobin lights up dabbing his friend up, Changmin side-eyes you and returns his gaze back to Soobin.

“Me and the group were gonna go out to eat later, you should come!”

“I’d love to but I promise I’d help her.”

Soobin smiles jerking his head towards you. You shift on your feet as you feel his gaze rest on you. His glare is judging, which gets your brows to furrow. Starting to feel like a little bit of a burden.

“Oh.” He replies raking his eyes along your form. “Maybe next time then.” Soobin nods, continuing to walk.

“Look at you making friends.” You laugh, smacking his back. He groans, rubbing it. Yet this feeling of dread washes over you and you start to feel guilty. “You know, you can go Soob, I’ll figure something out.” You suck on your lollipop and he bumps shoulders with you.

“I already made plans with you.” He grins.

You should've known you guys weren't gonna study, you guys never did. It was never Soobin's fault though, you were good at distracting him and convincing him not to do work.

So now here you guys were splayed out on your bed, Soobin on his phone, and face masks adorning your guy's faces.

His head was on your lap and you were braiding parts of his hair. He slides his screen to camera mode and begins taking pictures of you completely off guard.

"Soob, you better delete those." You murmur and he just giggles, zooming on your face.

"You look so pretty though." He smiles again, turning the phone towards you.

You're taken aback as you look at yourself. You weren't even looking at his hair but you were looking at him, the fact that he caught this on camera made you flush, rushing to grab his phone.

"Delete it!" You yell and he laughs, falling back against your bed.

"Never." He smiles, you don't even realize you've crawled on top of him.

You pout, finally giving up, when you come to the realization that you're now on his lap you scurry off. He looks a little confused as to why you're so embarrassed right now but he smiles, finding the whole ordeal cute.

"Stop looking at me like that." You turn away and look away from him.

It was always hard to look away from Soobin. The way his dimples showed up when he'd smile so big or the way his eyes turned into crescents when he laughed.

“You say that yet you’re the on staring.” He snickers and you get up to leave.

“I hate you!” He’s right in front of you, pulling your face mask off.

“No you don’t, now come on.” He skips away, making you flush.

It was no surprise that Soobin’s friends didn’t take a liking to you. However, you didn’t really care because you didn’t like them either.

They were constantly crashing yours and Soobin’s hangouts or stealing him away. Yet this time you finally had enough.

You were particularly excited for today because you hadn’t hung out in a while. (Due to him hanging with his other friends).

You bought him tteokbokki and the both of decided to have a small picnic. Simple and relaxing. Is what you thought it would be.

“Soobin!” Someone yells, he quickly turns his head to find Arin, a smile adorning his face.

“Oh hey what’s up.” He blinks, she stands in front of him, totally blocking your view. Your face falls, brows furrowing.

“Let’s go out together.” You roll your eyes at her obviously dramatic high pitched voice.

“Yea sure when?”

It upsets you that he’s talking so casually, as if she didn’t just crash your hangout. Although you didn’t blame Soobin.

“Right now, come on.”

You swear you feel a vein pop on your head and you finally break.

“Can you not see we’re hanging out right now?” You seethe and she slowly turns to you.

“Oh. Didn’t see you.” She replies, glaring at you.

“Well you can leave now.” You roll your eyes and she laughs.

“Soobin wouldn’t want that. Right Soob?”

You breathe out an air of pure astonishment. No way she just used your nickname for him. He looks between you both stuttering over his words.

“Well, no I-”

“Unbelievable.” You tongue at the inside of your cheek, rising to your feet and walking past her.

“Wait! Y/n-”

“Aw look at her throw a fit.” She laughed and you turn around immediately.

“You wanna say something say it right now.” You shove her and she looks offended.

“Don’t touch me you psycho!” She moves to push you back.

When she does you punch her right across the face, causing her to fall on the grass, clutching her nose.

“Y/n! What’s is wrong with you!” Soobin yells, rushing to Arin’s side. She whines and cries making you roll your eyes.

“Fuck you Soobin.” You stomp away from the both of them, clutching your now bruised hand. Your eyes watered as you left the park not looking back once.

Maybe you acted out a little but hey, she knew better than to fuck with the well known self proclaimed “delinquent” at school.

It had been a week since that incident happened and you haven’t talked to Soobin.

You understood he was allowed to have other friends yes, but you were beginning to see changes in him.

Those changes scared you so much, of course you weren’t against Soobin becoming more confident with himself and leaving his comfort zone.

However he was turning into another basic frat college boy, acting like he was the shit. Which had you beyond confused because this wasn’t him. It sucked even more to watch all this happen from the sidelines.

This time apart from him really made you realize just how much you loved him and how much you needed him in your life.

He’s always played a big role in it and for him to just be gone, with no explanation, no contact, it was killing you.

Part of you wanted to believe he wanted to talk to you but it was just his group of friends that were holding him back. Yet that same saying would ring out through your head.

If he wanted to, he would.

Getting around campus was always easy, no one ever talked to you because of your reputation and you grew accustomed to it.

Aside from Soobin, you didn’t have any friends and you weren’t in the mood to make any either. Your resting bitch face made you less approachable anyways.

Your perfect morning was interrupted by a person you weren’t happy to see at all.

“Oh sorry! I didn’t see where I was—Oh. It’s you.” Arin glares at you, a bandage on her nose.

You smirk at the sight. “Your nose healing fine?” You tilt your head in a taunt and she bites the inside of her cheek.

“You know you made my job way more easier.” She laughed and your brows furrow. “I’m surprised Soobin sticked with someone like you for so long, but now he’s finally seen what a terrible person you are.”

Your eyes flash with hurt and you’re quickly grabbing her by her collar, pulling her towards your face.

“You bitch.” As much as as you tried to sound mad, your voice wavered.

“Be careful now, you don’t wanna cause a scene do you.” She raised her brows in a amusement and click your tongue. Looking around some students had stopped, some just side eyeing the both of you.

You shoved her away from you, immediately going back to you dorm, I guess no morning classes today.

Throughout the whole day her voice rang throughout your mind, it was driving you crazy.

Did she like him that much she couldn’t stand you being around him? As much as you hated to admit it she was right, Soobin hadn’t talked to you so she basically won.

Pushing your feelings aside it hurt you that he didn’t reach out.

Was this really the end of you guys? You hadn’t even got to tell him you loved him. You made so many sacrifices to protect him.

He was your person, the only one that understood you. It honestly felt like you were going to die with out him. Maybe a little dramatic but he was the one who kept you grounded.

He knew how to calm you down, and deal with all of your temper tantrums. You wanted to tell him just how much he meant to you, but not in a platonic way. Because your feelings were everything but that.

That all seemed stupid now, all those stupid thoughts of you both actually being together down the drain as you plug your earbuds in and slip your shoes on.

So here you were roaming the city at night with your earbuds plugged in. However this didn’t really help forgetting much about Soobin when you guys would do this to.

Hell you were the one who took his pictures for his Instagram post. Every single thing reminded you of him and it frustrated you to no end.

Even the song you were listening to, Vaundy, one of his favorite artists. You groan, continuing to walk through streets.

Soobin’s laugh fills the table, as waiters and waitresses maneuver around the restaurant. Passing out food, passing out drinks or taking orders.

Soobin sits back with a smile on his face. His friends clicking their shot glasses with big smiles on their faces, another flipping the meat, making sure it was cooked perfectly.

Even though all of this goes on he feels sort of empty. He can’t really explain it but something was missing, someone was missing.

For so long he’d hoped and hoped he’d be able to make a lot of friends. Now that he finally had it, it’s like it didn’t match up to the hype.

Soobin felt like he couldn’t be himself around his friends. He felt like he always had to prove himself somehow. But with you, you truly knew him. And you loved him for just the way he was.

He looks down at his Home Screen, one of his widgets displaying a picture of you.

It was the night where you had both walked around. You both had a photo shoot at a small playground you both found.

You were in one of his hoodies that was way to big for you. You had the biggest smile on your face and he finds himself smiling just because of it.

He heard Arin laugh, “Isn’t that Y/n.” The rest of the group laughs, talking shit on you.

“She’s such a loner.” One of the guys laughs.

Soobin’s head whips up and there you are walking past the restaurant with that “intimidating” look on your face and your earbuds in.

His face immediately softens. He doesn’t know what comes over him, maybe the bit of alcohol in his system but he’s rushing outside, ignoring everyone’s calls for him.

When he exits the restaurant, you’re not to far from him. He almost falls when he begins running to you, he places a hand on your shoulder.

“Y/n-” He’s cut off with a punch to his stomach making him cough and clutch his stomach.

“Soobin?! Shit—I’m sorry are you okay?” You rip your earbuds out, rubbing his back soothingly. “You know you can’t sneak up on me like that.” You mumble and he nods.

Only then do you realize the situation, Soobin is talking to you, he’s actually talking to you. You step away immediately, glancing at the floor.

Soobin stares at you and he feels his eyes start to water. The next thing you know he’s crashing you in his arms. Your eyes widen when you’re met with his chest, his breaths ragged.

“M’sorry, I’m so sorry.” He whispers against your ear. You blink away your tears, an arm patting his back.

“Have you been drinking?” You question and he shakes his head, keeping it tucked away in the crook of your neck.

“Only a couple beers and like some soju.” He mumbles.

“You’re a lightweight Soobin.” You sigh.

It’s weird to have him this close to you again after so long. Even though you miss it, you can’t help the insecurities that wash over you.

Maybe his friends were right. You never deserved Soobin, it was your choice to protect him but he’s all grown up now, what else does he need you for. You were just some fuck up holding him back.

So you blink away your tears, leading him back to your dorm. When you arrived he sat on the couch, and you went in the kitchen to grab him some water. When you come back he’s drifting off, so you tap him.

“You can take my bed Soobin.”

“Soob.” He whispers, his eyes still closed.

“Hm?”

“It’s Soob.” He mumbles again.

You sigh, “Take my bed Soob.” And he smiles, he gets up and waddles to your bed.

You tuck him in and he’s out immediately. You’re crouched beside him, shallow breaths leave him and you move some of his bangs. Feeling tears prick at your eyes you let them fall.

“I’m sorry, I love you so much.” You cry, resting your head against his arm. You leave the room, letting Soobin rest as you take your spot on your couch.

Soobin wakes up with a raging headache and the scent of delicious food fills his senses. He smiles warmly, but then he jolts awake, looking around.

He takes in that he’s in your room and he blinks confusingly. He makes his way to the kitchen and he finds a very comfy you, dancing and singing with the spatula in your hand as you make eggs.

He doesn’t say anything, yet he just watches you, admiring and adoring you. Even though he’s confused on why he’s here, he’ll never get over you.

“S-Soobin.” You gasp, holding the spatula close to you.

“Why am I here?” His voice comes out harsher than he expects and you look down.

“Uh, you came to me yesterday and you were drunk, so I let you crash here.” You nod, turning back to the food. “You can stay for breakfast if you want but if you don’t then you can leave.”

He sits down on your bar stool, rubbing his palms on his pants. Even though he didn’t remember what happened yesterday, that feeling of longing for you was still there.

He hates that it seemed like you couldn’t be yourself around him since you guys hadn’t talked.

So he speaks, “I’m really sorry, Y/n.” You turn around to protest but he stops you. “No really, I’m a terrible friend for abandoning you for people who don’t even know me. And I’m sorry that this whole situation was what made me realize that I genuinely need you in my life.”

You blink at him, your heart stinging. “You have every right to be upset and I understand if you don’t want to forgive me.” Your eyes don’t lift from the floor yet Soobin is rushing to you when he hears your sniffles. “Hey, why are you crying?” He says worriedly holding your face softly.

“M’not good for you Soobin.” You shut your eyes, it hurt you so much to let the words come out. “Arin’s right. I’m such a fuck up and you’re so perfect, but I cling to you because I love you. I love you so much and it hurts. I don’t deserve you.” You sob, dropping your head once again and Soobin caresses your head, holding you against him once again.

“Y/n listen to me. None of my friends or Arin could ever change the way I see you. You deserve me just as much as I deserve you. I’m not perfect but us together? That’s perfect.” He rests his forehead against yours, “I’m always gonna love you, no matter what.” He smiles at your cute pout, tugging at your bottom lip. “No more crying please, I’m here and I’m not leaving.”

You look in his eyes and his flicker to your lips, not letting them avert anywhere else. “Can I kiss you?” He asks sincerely and you nod, letting his lips meet with yours.

He holds you so gently, you can tell he’s a little shaky but he kisses you with so much love. Before you know it, more tears are falling. He pulls away with a smile, continuing to wipe your tears.

"I thought I said no more crying?" He laughs and you pout. "I just missed you." You shove your face in his chest and he pecks your head.

Soobin holds you close to him, no longer feeling empty. For the rest of the day you spend it with each other.

No matter how much of a bad person you claimed to be, Soobin was a constant reminder that in all the bad, there is always good.

© 2023 aakomii — ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. REFRAIN FROM PLAGIARIZING, SHARING MY WORK ON OTHER PLATFORMS

⚝fic type: one shot as part of the weeknd series

⚝genre/contains: choi yeonjun x gn!reader, angst, fluff ending, heartbreak, yeonjun was a rebound

⚝word count: 4k

⚝synopsis: yeonjun was simply supposed to be a rebound to help you cope with the breakup you'd just gone through. when your relationship with him blossomed into more than that, you abruptly cut him off in a bid to protect yourself from any more possible hurt. you ended up hurting him instead, and as time went on you realized what a huge mistake you'd made by letting yeonjun go. perhaps you'll be able to salvage what you two had at the party tonight...

You chased after him in the sea of swaying bodies, weaving through the partygoers as deftly as you could manage while still keeping his raven coloured hair within your line of sight. It’s a good thing he was tall.

Your struggle in trailing after the sullen boy was eased considerably when you followed him onto a corridor with a thinner crowd. He didn’t look behind him or acknowledge your presence in any way before opening a door to his left and disappearing into its well-lit interior.

“Yeonjun, wait!” you pleaded, planting your palms on the bathroom’s door to keep him from shutting you– and the rest of the party– out. Your voice broke out from the confines of your chest all rushed and high-pitched, as if you feared you’d never be able to say what you needed to if you didn’t act right then. “We need to talk. I need to-”

“There’s nothing to talk about,” Yeonjun mumbled. His voice was gravelly, probably from lack of use. You’d noticed him falling quiet as the night wore on. His tone was firm, defensive, and it was a clear indicator that he wanted you to leave him alone.

“But there is, Yeonjun,” you insisted, just as firm. He sighed and held the door open for you, avoiding any eye contact as you walked past him into the small space. If you had to have this conversation in a bathroom then you would. The bright fluorescent lights left spots in your vision for a few seconds since everywhere else outside this bathroom was dimly lit. Yeonjun closed the door before leaning against it, black bangs falling over his eyes that were trained on the tiled floor as he waited for you to speak.

—

You and Yeonjun had broken up a few months ago. It really hadn’t been your intention to get into a relationship with him in the first place, heart still sore and mending from what your ex, Heesung, had put you through. But Yeonjun was like a treat that one stowed at the top shelf of their pantry for ‘emergencies’; vowing that they would take ‘just one more bite’ and they’d have had their fill... inevitably losing that war before they even realised it. You kept promising yourself that every date would be the last, and by the sixth one he had officially asked you to be his and you’d selfishly agreed. What you had meant to keep as a reliable contact for Saturday walks in the park had evolved into late night drives with a boy who held stars in his eyes.

You met Yeonjun at a dance studio a friend had been nagging you to check out. The place had a great reputation and you soon learned that Yeonjun spent a lot of his free time there. He was exemplary at dancing, much like anything else he really set his mind to. Like winning you over, for example. Something in his vibe was simply magnetic; he wormed his way into your heart quicker than you’d have thought possible. You knew what drew you to him… his infectious laughter that made his chest heave with the power of it, his attention to detail and how he expressed gratitude for even the tiniest of favours. Yeonjun never took anything for granted. He could also read you like an open book– always a step or two ahead of you in anticipating your needs and wants, and fulfilling them the best he could. Yeonjun was very convincing in his methods of winning you over, and before you knew it he’d reeled you in completely.

You’d let the affair get to far, both emotionally and physically, and when you eventually let him go you could see how heartbroken he was. It was insensitive of you, but the need to protect your recuperating heart had overpowered your empathy– at least at the time. The detachment was somewhat justified and easier to deal with when he’d seemingly moved on before you even had the chance to come to terms with everything. In any case, Yeonjun wasn’t one to dwell on things, especially outwardly. Once you’d ended things, he hadn’t stopped you to ask what had caused you to break him in the way that you did. He simply… moved on. You suppose it was selfish of you to want him to have lurked around for a while after the break-up, brooding over the broken pieces like you had with Heesung.

He didn’t even ask for his stuff back– the hoodies he’d left over at your place or the gifts he’d given you. Yeonjun wasn’t petty, and it sparked a newfound respect within you– because Heesung had been his polar opposite during your break up with the former. But without Yeonjun your days felt so long; without his cute texts to get you through your day the hours dragged on. It made you acutely aware of how Yeonjun had become your emotional support in so many ways. From his random check-ins to the silly memes he sent you… your life felt oddly empty in Yeonjun’s absence. It had taken some time to wean yourself off waiting for the chime of your phone every day at around lunch, which was when he usually spammed your line and reminded you to get something to eat.

The last time you’d seen Yeonjun was weeks ago. You’d ended up in the same restaurant late on a Thursday evening and you tried your best to ignore the forlorn gazes he not-so-subtly shot you every now and then as you directed your attention to the guy sitting across from you. He was a co-worker who’d been courting you for months and although you had no real interest in him, you decided to accept his dinner invitation with the hopes of getting Yeonjun off your mind. However, even while you weathered through the ups and downs of your own life, your nonchalance and indifference towards your breakup with Yeonjun was starting to wear off. Your true feelings within had inexorably begun to show themselves.

The nagging of your ever-persistent subconscious had caused that dam of emotions to break tonight.

He looked well, laughing with his friends and moving to the music as the party kicked up. He’d grown his hair out a little, black strands now brushing low on his neck. He was dressed as casually as everyone else, yet something about Yeonjun’s frame and stance made clothes sit on him elegantly.

When you’d first arrived, you caught sight of him as you and your friends milled through the throng of dancing bodies, stopping every now and then to greet someone you knew. Yeonjun’s smile had dropped once he turned around and saw you, the pain in his eyes evident as he tried to muster a smile back onto his face for the benefit of his own cheerful clique.

Nevertheless, he hadn’t spared you a glance as he breezed past your group of friends with his own gang. You knew this was all your doing, so why did it hurt you so much? Yeonjun was just supposed to be a rebound. A rebound that got out of hand, and you had ended things while you were at his place– in his bed, wearing his t-shirt. You still remember that Saturday as if it was yesterday. You’d had a fight the previous night, but he still convinced you to stay over and bargained that you two would solve your problems in the morning. In any case, it was late, and getting a taxi at that hour would be difficult. When you woke up your fight or flight instinct had kicked in when Yeonjun raised his voice a little as the two of you tried making amends. You were so scared that things would escalate the way they had with your ex, who would get so mad and say things he didn’t mean. He would then shut you out completely and for days it would feel like you weren’t in a relationship at all. That’s why you’d ended things with Yeonjun then and there; running away had always been your defence mechanism– albeit a shitty one.

After everything that happened with Heesung you had shied away from love, running away any time it knocked at your door. Your walls were high but Yeonjun had swooped in and made a hole in your defence, planting a seed of genuine care and affection that– through your haze of mistrust– you could only view as a weed in the carefully cultivated garden of your heart.

You’d uprooted him, and only then in his absence did you realise what you’d just given away.

What you didn’t know was how much Yeonjun was suffering without you; how much he’d cried after your fall-out. He’d taken your break up as a sign that you didn’t find your relationship with him valuable– that there was nothing to fight for between you two. That thought had spiked bitterness in Yeonjun, although it was largely clouded by the love he was starting to have for you that only grew bigger in your time apart. Perhaps absence did make the heart grow fonder. Yeonjun stopped frequenting the places you two would go together, trying to exterminate the sick hope in his heart that you would somehow bump into each other. He hated how cold his nights were without you. When you would come over you’d always offer to make dinner for the both of you as long as he was on dish duty. His apartment felt draughty without the calm and warmth your soft, sleepy laughter brought. The colours of his walls seemed washed out and Yeonjun’s general outlook on life had turned bleak. It had taken him forever to snap out of that mentally and find joy in what he liked to do once more.

His friends chastised him that it was foolish to have been so trusting so quickly, but something about you had drawn him in and taken a hold of him. You were diligent and quick witted, always eager to learn and open-minded in your ways of solving problems. Yeonjun had taken note of how weary you were heading into your relationship with him, how tentative you were in reaching out to him. He’d slowly unravelled the story of what had happened to you in your last relationship and did everything he could to make you more comfortable around him. A few weeks in and he had you smiling more, laughing more and sleeping better. He didn’t want any repayment for it, other than your time and affection… and when you had taken that away he’d been distraught. He’d never expected the excuse you had given him in the flurry of your departure from his life– that all Yeonjun had been to you was a rebound. All that time, all those kisses, all you two had shared was intended to be nothing but a temporary fix to your broken heart.

But he wasn’t going to give up on love as a concept just because of one bad relationship. Yeonjun patched himself up and spent all that love on his friends, his family, and most importantly himself. Seeing you tonight stung, sure, but he wouldn’t give anyone the satisfaction of knowing that.

—

The booming music had felt invigorating at first, considering this was the first party you’d attended in a long while. But now, in the cramped bathroom face-to-face with the boy whose heart you’d broken, the thumping of the bass was steadily giving you a headache. It was turning into the kind of evening where you’d usually crave Yeonjun’s company; his patient care soothed every headache and his attentive ears listened to every rant. If you wanted any hope of having another evening cuddled up on the couch with him then you’d need to right your wrongs in the here and now.

But the expression on Yeonjun’s face foreshadowed a difficult task on your part.

“I know there’s absolutely nothing I could say to ease the pain I caused…” you started off, chancing that his features would morph into a look less judgemental. “And I can’t fix the mistake I made but-”

“Mistake?” Yeonjun asked incredulously. He fought back the hope that was blooming within him; had you really changed your mind? Yeonjun internally scolded himself for being so ready to forgive you. He wouldn’t give into you so easily in case you broke him once more.

His gaze turned icier, emotions frozen beneath the dark gloom of his irises. “C’mon, think of something more original.”

“Well, I just want to tell you that I’m so sorry,” you said, taken aback by his cold retort. You fought the tears springing in your eyes. “I didn’t deserve you from the start, and yet you overlooked that and loved me anyways.”

You were shaking with how much you were restraining yourself from crying. “Yeonjun– I was terrified. And because of that I ruined it.”

Yeonjun just watched you, eyes thawing and softening a fraction with a new emotion you couldn’t quite place. He said your name quietly, patiently– as he always did, drawing out the syllables in a manner you’d always loved.

“What were you so terrified of?” His eyes bore into your own imploringly.

“Of the way you loved me,” you explained, frustrated by your situation and the tears that had started running down your face. “Yeonjun, you– you showed me what love could really feel like. After what I went through with my ex I couldn’t seem to let anyone in and you somehow fought your way through all my inhibitions.”

“You should’ve just communicated from the start.” He huffed exasperatedly, taking his hands out of his pockets to cross them over his torso.

“I know, I’m so sorry,” you mumbled, wiping your watery eyes on the back of your sleeve. “I’m trying to learn… how to not run away.”

He didn’t say anything for a long while, and you resigned yourself to the fact that all this was too little, too late. The silence grew heavy– loud, almost– as you stared at each other. The short distance between you two felt broader when Yeonjun’s eyes became distant for a while in thought. He spoke just as you were looking for something else to say.

“So what are you trying to get at with all this? Do you want me to take you back?” His tone was steady, unlike your shaky one as you stuttered and looked down at the floor. “You caused me so much pain.”

“I know, Yeonjun,” you said, missing the way a few teardrops slipped past Yeonjun’s eyes as you weren’t looking at him anymore. “And I promise I won’t hurt you again.”

Yeonjun let out a mirthless laugh and leaned down slightly so you were at eye level. He still kept his distance. “You’re right, you won’t.”

Your heart sank at his words. The harsh, assertive tone was so uncharacteristic of him. Had he perhaps found someone else? He did deserve someone better, but knowing Yeonjun you didn’t think he’d get into another relationship this quickly.

“Are you… seeing someone?” You choked out, a lump forming in your throat. Yeonjun considered your question for a moment before shifting from his position against the door and lessening the space between you two.

“Nope. I’m not ready for that yet. Wouldn’t want to repeat the cycle of heartbreak just to feel something,” he said quietly. Your mouth fell agape at the dig. His words cut deeper than a knife, tearing right through you and leaving you breathless with how heartless he sounded. Had you really turned him into this?

“I– yes, of course. I understand,” you said as steadily as you could manage, before nodding and excusing yourself. Yeonjun slid down against the door once you had disappeared back into the party, hiding his head in his hands as he sat with his knees pressed to his chest on the floor.

Unbeknownst to you, Yeonjun was simply putting up a front to prevent you from hurting him again. In the time you’d been apart he’d begun to put up his own defences… somehow knowing that a time would come when he’d have to face you again. You couldn’t avoid each other forever. A part of him had been waiting for this moment, replaying its possible pathways in his head while he cooked or showered or took a walk. He wanted you to feel that he’d totally let go of everything you two had, just like you did.

Now that this confrontation had happened, Yeonjun wondered if proving a point had been worth it. Your sorrowful face just now was a stark contrast to your controlled calm on that fateful Saturday. Sometimes hurt, and the fear of it, turned people into who they weren’t– and Yeonjun had just made the same mistake you had months ago. His heart ached with remorse; he’d been too harsh. The way you had followed him and apologized had caught him off guard. He hadn’t been prepared to have that conversation and he’d reacted badly.

Yeonjun cursed at himself and got up on his feet, determined to find you and put an end to this back and forth.

—

You didn’t bother looking for your friends again after you talked to Yeonjun. Neither did you try find a way to get home on your own. You just moved around the party people watching, more or less on autopilot. Yeonjun’s cold words and expressionless face burned behind your eyelids, haunting you every time you closed your eyes.

A merry group of people were trying to rope you into a game of beer pong when someone suddenly hurtled into you. You weren’t really paying attention to your surroundings, and for that reason you barely had time to react when a boy came crashing into you from your side. You were knocked into the beer pong table before hitting the ground. Your reflexes saved you from landing square on your face, because your arms flew out to catch your fall. The guy who’d crashed into you apologized profusely as he tried helping you up to your feet. His friends who’d been chasing him around watched on guiltily when you winced, quickly adjusting your stance so your left foot was carrying more weight than your right. The stares from everyone around you was starting to get on your nerves, and coupled with the events of the night you were on the verge of crying again.

The boys tried leading you to a nearby couch but you declined their help and limped away from the scene as quickly as you could; you really just wanted to go home now. You had almost made it out when you nearly tripped on a rug near the landing. You’d have tumbled to the floor for the second time that night if someone hadn’t steadied you from behind.

You were going to turn around and thank your good Samaritan, if the close proximity hadn’t let you get a whiff of Yeonjun’s distinctive cologne. You froze in place, the comfort you instinctively drew from that scent had you finally breaking down completely.

Yeonjun wrapped his arms around your middle and drew you close, shushing you. “It’s okay, we’re okay, I’m here…”

“My ankle,” you managed to spit out through your tears. He hummed in acknowledgement before picking you up bridal style and walked outside, towards his car.

“Geez, what happened?” His voice was laced with so much concern as he fumbled with his pockets for his car keys.

“Someone barrelled into me by accident,” you muttered, calming yourself down by tucking your face into the crook of his neck.

“You’ll need some ice on that foot,” Yeonjun said, more to himself than to you. “I could stop somewhere and get some.”

“But Yeonjun,” you started, trying to deflect the attention. Was he actually planning on ditching the people he’d arrived with to take you home? “Your friends…”

“They’ll find their way home, it’s cool.” He set you down in the passenger’s seat before circling round to the driver’s seat. Once he got in fetched you some tissues from the back seat as you explained what happened.

“Do you want to get something to eat?” he asked quietly, reaching over to brush a few hairs away from your face. Your skin warmed up slightly at the places his fingertips brushed against.

You shook your head and laid back against the headrest, exhausted. “I just want to go home, Jjunie.”

“Hey, that’s okay,” he whispered, trying to ignore the flip his stomach did at your use of the nickname. “We’ll get you home and we can order some takeout if you’re still hungry. But first, let me check out that ankle.”

He helped you hoist your leg onto his lap, mindful not to bump it against the gear lever. The delicate way he cradled your foot as he reached for the glove compartment had any animosity you had left in you towards him dissipate. He quietly hummed a tune you didn’t recognise as he grabbed the first aid kit and took out some brand of muscle relief spray, painting your ankle in the cold liquid before temporarily wrapping it with a bandage.

Yeonjun worked in silence as you watched him patch you up. In the quiet peace of his car it felt like nothing between you two had changed– like this was just any other day when you’d have to give each other first aid after over-exerting yourselves during dance practice.

“You’re staring,” he sighed after some time, and you were about to apologise before you caught the soft smirk playing on his lips. “Am I that gorgeous, hmm?”

You laughed at him, groaning at his playful banter. “Please, spare me, Choi Yeonjun.”

He laughed with you, and you could feel the tension leaving your body. Yeonjun looked happier now than he had all night, that light he carried within shining in his eyes once more.

“I missed you,” you admitted.

“Missed you, too, runaway,” he said back with a pout. His eyes turned serious for a moment, regarding you with such profound affection, before he winked and returned his attention to his task.

“Oh no, is that my name now?” you giggled.

“Might be…” he said, earnestly. “If you stick around.”

Yeonjun’s eyes adopted a shimmering quality when he let his vulnerability seep through. It was one of your weaknesses, one of the ways he’d unknowingly won you over. His eyes sparkled with a glittering hope as he waited for your answer.

“I will.” You held out your pinkie finger and he chuckled as he linked it with his own. “This time, I will.”

“No more running away…” he whispered. The two of you had somehow gotten so close mid-conversation and you could now make out the shadow of his eyelashes against his cheeks from the party’s lights seeping through the car windows.

“No more running away, I promise,” you confirmed in a hushed tone. “I want to stay.”

“Good,” he said happily, swooping in to nuzzle his nose into your cheek. You were giggling like little kids at the action, big smiles plastered on both of your faces.

“You know… you have to seal that promise,” he chanced.

“How will I do that?” you asked, laughing at the bashful pink tint on his cheeks. “We already pinkie swore, what’s left?”

Yeonjun didn’t answer you verbally, he merely pouted his lips in your direction, stifling back a laugh as you burst out with one of your own. Nevertheless, you happily obliged once your short fit of giggles had subsided, cupping his face in your palms.

You softly pressed your lips to his, both of you sighing at the feeling you had missed so dearly. Yeonjun’s plush lips pillowed yours oh-so lovingly, his hands sneaking up your sides to wrap across your back. The kiss was slow, neither of you in much of a hurry since you had the rest of the night ahead of you to keep at this deliriously sweet pace. The two of you kept going for what felt like forever, the precious give and take of such a delicate exchange too glorious to give up. You only pulled away because the position you two were in was getting uncomfortable. You both chuckled at how you’d ignored that fact for so long, too caught up in your kiss.

“No more tears, for the both of us.” you said breathlessly.

“Agreed,” Yeonjun whispered against your lips, stealing a final kiss before he pulled away with a grin and started the car.

⚝A/N: this had so much ANGST gdhjvjfkg. still, i found this oddly theraputic and really enjoyed breaking the song down. thank you for reading! hope you enjoyed these two being dumb haha. if so, i'd love to hear your thoughts, so don't be shy to send an ask or rant in the tags :D

⚝TAGLIST: @mental-hollows @forever-in-the-sky2 @yizki @bangchansbae @woncheecks

THE ENDING DIALOGUE NOO😭😭😭 Gosh, this is wrecking me AAH! Props to Yeonjun for being the voice of reason btw😩

0x1 lovesong is actually the song that made me a MOA so you adding it to this fic makes this SO precious to me❤ I also LOVED the band positions you have the members.

SYNOPSIS: Your long term relationship with Beomgyu ended due to you both having different paths that you guys wanted to achieve in life. However why does it seem after a year later, the both of you still yearn for one another.

INCLUDES: rockstar!beomgyu x reader, exes to lovers, angst, fluff ending, mutual pining, cussing, mentions of other members, aespa’s Giselle and Winter

WC: 2k

TAGLIST: @forever-in-the-sky2 @yaevsi @bangchansbae @mental-hollows @woncheecks

A year earlier you found yourself in the most happiest point in your life. You were dating your Prince Charming and were pursuing the one thing you loved.

Beomgyu was the most uniquest person you’d ever met. No matter where you both were he seemed to light up everything and anything that was around him. He was quite literally your whole world, everything seemed so dull and grey without him.

Beomgyu was a rockstar. You had been with him ever since he used to just practice with his band in their garage. Their name was Tomorrow x Together. He was effortlessly good at playing his electric guitar, it always left you fascinated.

He’d even make small dumb songs about you and sing them to you, which never failed to bring a smile on your face.

You remembered when they dropped their first album. It was a hit and they grew in popularity very fast. Frost and Loser Lover was a total fan favorite. Although when they started going on tour, that’s when you guys both noticed how your relationship was slowly crumbling.

You were getting wrapped up in your studies and well, he was on tour. Even though you guys texted and called daily it was still hard.

Both of you weren’t present in the relationship. Your guys schedules never matching up so it began to get tiring. So sadly the both of you decided to part ways. It was weird to you because even though Beomgyu was always gone, when you both agreed it was over it hurt you way more than you expected. Maybe it was because of the fact that he was actually gone.

It took you awhile to get over him, or try to. Your moment of weakness brought you to your most stupidest idea ever. Buying tickets to one of his concerts.

In your defense a thousands of people would be there so you’d be able to hide amongst them. Plus it had been a year since your breakup so it’s not like you mattered to him anymore.

They were coming to your hometown so you thought it’d be cool, you never saw them live, only when you were invited by Beomgyu and they’d just practice. You knew they were big so you wanted to see how it would go.

Beomgyu stares out of the window, it was night time already and they were making it back to the hotel. It was so weird to be back here, all of it was surrounded and reminded him of you.

His eyes soften at the thought of you and his heart stings. He pulls away and looks at his hands, far away in his thoughts.

“Hey you okay?” Yeonjun bumps his shoulder, glancing at Beomgyu. He immediately smiles but it doesn’t reach his eyes.

“Yea I’m fine.” He nods and Yeonjun knows better, he blinks at him and shakes his head.

“It’s hard, isn’t it?” Yeonjun asks and Beomgyu’s head snaps up.

The rest of the guys knew about your breakup because it messed with Beomgyu physically and mentally. He didn’t even go on stage for a majority of a concert because he couldn’t find the will to be up there. Not without his motivation anymore yet he mustered up some of it.

Something Beomgyu never told you but hoped you knew was that you were his motivation and his will to achieve his dreams. Your support was all he needed to feel like he could take on the whole world. So when you guys broke up, you took it all with you, leaving him with nothing but him and his awful mind.

“Maybe just a little.” He sheepishly laughs.

“We’ll be outta here in no time don’t worry.” Yeonjun pats his back.

Even though those words were meant to calm him down, he feels his heart yearn for you, not wanting to leave.

It was the day of the concert and you were beginning to have your doubts, yet it didn’t help you that your friends were in complete support of it.

“What do you mean you want to refund the tickets?! You’re not refunding shit!” Giselle rolled her eyes, shooing you away with her hand.

Winter laughed glancing at you, “Nothing bad is gonna happen, just go enjoy yourself.” Giselle aggressively nods along with Winter, pointing her spatula at you.

“As a matter of fact! We’ll help you get all dolled up.” They both smile and you deadpan.

“Really. I have no one to impress.” You scoff and Giselle smooshes your cheeks.

“I don’t care! Like Winter said. You’re gonna go have fun and look sexy as hell!”

The night of the concert both of the girls went to drop you off.

“I still don’t understand why you guys didn’t wanna come with me.” You grumble, getting ready to leave the car.

“You let us know all late! Plus did you see those resale tickets! You’re crazy if you think I got that type of money.” Giselle sighs, you and Winter laugh. Winter hugs you and rubs your shoulders.

“Have fun okay! Text or call if anything!” You nod, waving bye to them.

The venue was pretty big, when you checked in, it was clearly an amphitheater, however there was room for the pit. You decided to stop at the bar and get yourself a drink, nodding along to the other bands that were opening up for TXT.

However you couldn’t help but notice you were getting a lot of stares. Obviously, since Beomgyu is a rockstar, he’s famous. People were bound to know he had a girlfriend and when he broke up with said girlfriend.

You guys were never private about your relationship either. So you began to feel uneasy when people were starting to turn heads and whisper. Tonight was gonna be a long night.

Backstage, the members were all setting up their equipment since their time on stage was coming up. Staff members all running around to make sure soundcheck was good and everything was set up perfectly.

Inside the dressing room, Beomgyu and his members were doing some last minute check ups. However Beomgyu was filled with the same sense of dread again. Yeonjun could and would always read Beomgyu like an open book.

“Are you fine to go one stage?” He asks him and Beomgyu nods.

“Yea I just got this weird feeling, I don’t know.” Beomgyu rests his hand over his beating heart.

“You sure it’s not just the adrenaline?” Yeonjun grins and Beomgyu chews on his lip.

“Yea, maybe.” And with that Beomgyu leaves the room, and Yeonjun glancing at the closed door with a look of concern.

By the time the last band had finished, the pit filled up with people rushing down from their seats. So to say you were kinda squished was an under statement. The lights had already dimmed and the crowd begins chanting their name.

They all walk on stage waving at the crowd and you feel like your heart stops when you see Beomgyu.

His hair was long now, enough to cover his neck. It was dyed an orangey brown. A choker adorning his neck. He wore a ripped up knitted striped sweater and his classic black ripped jeans.

His smile was huge and with the way his eyes sparkled, you knew he was born to do this.

“Whattup MOA!” Yeonjun yells and the crowd cheers. The rest of the members move to get their instruments.

“Wow there’s so many of you guys.” Soobin laughs, adjusting his guitar. “Duh, they sold this shit out!” Taehyun yells and people scream.

“Before we start playing for you guys, there might be some newbies here so we’d like to introduce ourselves.” Kai suggests, starting a basic drum line to get the crowd going.

“We’re Tomorrow by Together! We’re a little different from other bands, even though I’m chosen as the leader singer, we all do sing.” Yeonjun laughs.

“Alright so on bass we have Taehyun!” The crowd yells as he plays a small riff, his face adorning a huge smile.

“On guitar we got Soobin!” He waves and bows with a cute smile.

“We could never forget our best drummer out there, Kai!” He plays a more upbeat drum track and the crowd cheers.

“Last but not least, our lead guitarist, Beomgyu!” The lights go crazy and he waves, running a hand through his hair as he smiles.

You don’t miss the fact on how the crowd goes crazy over Beomgyu, he truly was an ace and everyone favored his raspy voice and excellent guitar playing.

The lights shut off out of nowhere and the intro to Frost begins playing. Beomgyu begins strumming the strings on his guitar as Kai’s voice rings out through the venue.

“Are you fucking ready!” Yeonjun yells. The crowd begins to move, clapping along with the beat. Right before the beat drops Yeonjun yells.

“Let’s go!”

You’re quickly emerged in the music, you find yourself smiling. They really did sound way better than in their garage. However you couldn’t seem to take your eyes away from Beomgyu.

You fondly smile at the way he seems to play with so much passion, his confidence eliciting from him, surrounding him like some sort of aura.

You lose track of time and they have already played through most of their songs so they take this time to interact with the fans.

“How are we all doing?” Yeonjun smiles and the everyone throws a thumps up in the air.

“You guys are killing it.” Taehyun smiles as well.

“So there has been some speculations of us coming out with a new album soon.” Kai says as the crowd gasps, everyone waiting in anticipation.

“In which we do.” Soobin laughs and the whole venue screams, some fans fanning themselves.

“This is gonna be our last song for you tonight.” Yeonjun says, making the crowd whine with a no. “But our last song will be a song from our new album.” The crowd immediately switches up, cheering loudly. With a wide grin, the members all turn to Beomgyu.

“I actually composed this song, so it means a lot to me.” Beomgyu nods shyly and the crowd Aw’s at his confession, yet this catches your attention.

“I made this song after a hardship I was going through at the time. This song is called 0X1=Lovesong also known as I know I love you.” He mumbles in the mic and Kai immediately starts drumming the intro.

You immediately freeze as you hear the rhythm. This was one of those playful songs Beomgyu had wrote for you, when you would chill in his room, softly nodding along to his soothing voice.

You could feel your eyes well up with tears, your bottom lip jutting out. The people in the crowd had already recognized who you were so they all would either turn to you or try to subtly look at you. You don’t stop your tears from falling when you hear him sing

“Say you love me, Say you love me.” Memories of you both singing along to it rushing through your mind. As you watch him you know he’s thinking the same thing with the way his voice seems to break as you can see him hold back tears.

Your heart breaks and this, this was thing you were afraid of. Seeing him like this, with his broken heart worn on his sleeve. The last verse he’s whispering into the mic, his voice broken yet so soft, touching the hearts of the thousands of people in the venue.

“All or nothing I want all of you, I know I love you.” Right when the words leave his mouth, the lights fade off.

The crowd is left speechless, not expecting the end of the concert to be so emotional, from a distance you could hear people sniffing and sobbing. You try to hold in your sobs but you couldn’t. You let yourself sob into your hands, your year of “letting go” and “moving on” all flushing down the drain. Some people tried to help you but you rush out of the sea of people and out the doors.

The cold air hits your face like whiplash and you rest against a wall. You sob again, your heart breaking what seems to be the millionth time. No matter how much you try to stop your sobs with your mouth or calm down it all just keeps coming out.

Right when the lights had dimmed, Beomgyu cries and Yeonjun runs to him, the others trying to help him off the stage.

“S-She’s here, she’s actually here.” He barely gets out, he didn’t know if he was relieved or even more heartbroken. Yeonjun sighs as he rubs his back.

“Beomgyu.” He whispers and Beomgyu looks at him. “If you truly feel like you guys are meant to be. Then go get her, because this isn’t a coincidence. This is fate giving you both another chance.”

Beomgyu doesn’t waste time, he rushes down the flight of stairs, taking the back door outside. He had saw you rush outside when they had finished. He silently prayed that you weren’t gone already.

His prayers are answered when he cuts the corner and finds you against the wall, crying by yourself. He feels his eyes water again, wanting nothing more than to hold you in his arms.

He whispers your name softly and your head is snapping in his direction. Your eyes widen, not being able to process that he was right in front of you.

“B-Beomgyu?” You hush out, your mind still mush. He steps closer to you, trying to clear some of the distance between the both of you.

Even though the both of you look like a mess, he’s laughing bitterly.

“How’ve you been?” He smiles fondly at you yet his bottom lip quivers.

“I’ve been okay.” You match his expression, trying to muster up a smile.

“You?”

He laughs as tears fall, shaking his head. “I’ve been okay too.”

You stare at each other, the both of you trying to rack your mind for words.

“I really miss you.” He whispers and you nod, shutting your eyes.

“I know, I do to. But we can’t Beomgyu.” Your voice breaks as you glance at your shoes.

He steps closer, “We’ll figure it out, I’ll figure something out, I’ll drop the band!” He says desperately, trying to look in your eyes and you shake your head.

“You’re meant to be up there, you shine Beomgyu, you were born to be a star. I don’t wanna hold you back from that.”

He shakes his quickly, “You won’t- You don’t hold me back, you never did. You’re the reason I got this far.”

He cries, your hand moves before you register what you’re doing. You wipe his tears, and he immediately leans into your palm, his own hand shooting up to grab you wrist.

“Please, Please I can’t live without you.” He shakes his head, his voice broken. You both cry and your other hand comes to hold his face.

“We can try again, just one last time.” You smile and he pulls you into a bone crushing hug but it feels comforting, it felt like home. His hand comes to caress your hair, as he shoves his face in the crook of your neck.

You both stand there under the street light pole, swaying side to side. His small laugh makes you pull away just enough to see his face.

“What?” You whisper and he rubs your cheek with his thumb.

“Say you love me, say you love me.” He sings softly and you laugh.

“Till the end of the world.” You sing back and he laughs softly, rubbing your cheek gently.

Neither of you say another word, letting your lips meet in a kiss you guys both had yearned for.

© 2023 aakomii — ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. REFRAIN FROM PLAGIARIZING, SHARING MY WORK ON OTHER PLATFORMS

it's the way @aakomii and I have angst in all our fics for the event series after deciding there won't be a specific genre😭

⚝fic type: one shot as part of the weeknd series

⚝genre/contains: nobility!au, duchess!reader x viscount!taehyun, angst, fluff ending, established relationship, allusions to cheating

⚝word count: 3k

⚝warnings: arranged marriage is discussed, character death (not taehyun or reader), depictions of parental neglect.

⚝synopsis: the blazing love that you and taehyun nurtured in the quiet space of your library meets an unexpected dilemma when he finds out you are engaged to someone else. your relationship with him was already the talk of the town considering taehyun's of a much lower social rank than you. he had his insecurities, but never expected such a betrayal. should he have expected it?

You burst into the library, huffing as you moved through the aisles and made a beeline for Taehyun’s work desk. It was turning out to be a hot day, and the afternoon light filtered through the translucent dome ceiling, bathing the large space in an orange-tinted light. Taehyun looked up from the books strewn across his desk as you approached him, big eyes glimmering as they always did when graced by the sight of you. A welcoming smile stretched across his lips as he stood to greet you; no matter how long you two were together, Taehyun secretly doubted he’d ever get over the giddiness of seeing you.

He had grown used to your fuming form over the past few weeks following the demise of your father. It wasn’t sadness; you didn’t mourn your father for very long– the two of you barely had a real connection. This moodiness had to do with the domino effects of his passing.

Neither of your parents had a sliver of parental care in their body, not a single bone if genuine affection for their own children. You and your siblings were little more than property to them– meant to be paraded as trophies when they needed to impress their peers, and then disregarded once more as soon as you got home. Since you were the first born child in your family, your mother had been pressuring you to become more serious about your impending ascension to a duchess. It was something you’d always detest… being the automatic inheritor of a role you did not want, simply because you were born first.

Your escapes to your library had become more frequent; after every meeting with your mother, you’d come seek solace in your favourite place– and in your favourite person. This library, with its high ceiling and large windows, brought so much light into your life– both literally and metaphorically. Its warm stone walls were your security, and the books within strongly reflected your heart’s desires, opinions and way of thinking. You often fought the temptation to simply lock yourself up in here for days on end, with no one but Taehyun and your handmaiden to know where you had escaped to. The urge was especially at the forefront of your mind on days like this, when your mother’s stern insistency got under your skin and you felt that you were a mere string puppet while other people controlled your life.

Taehyun didn’t pry today, but judging by your behaviour he figured your mother was trying to convince you to do something you didn’t want to.

He guided you towards the bay window behind his desk, the soft strands of his hair tickling your temple as he leaned down to plant a lingering kiss on your cheek. The two of you loved sitting there during your down time. When Taehyun wasn’t working, and you weren’t swamped with your tutoring and duties, the two of you spent hours on end seated at that bay window together. It provided such a clear view of your estate– it’s sprawling fields and the trees that lined the eastern perimeter, acting as a wind breaker to shield your abode from the treacherous winds that sometimes swept over your region.

Taehyun regarded you for a moment before speaking, leaning against the curved wall framing the window as he tried to gauge what the crease of your brow indicated. He was always mindful of how he approached these types of discussions, weighing his potential approaches. It never failed to amaze you how thoughtful and perceptive he could be, particularly now when you were being bogged down by so much pressure.

“Penny for your thoughts, my dear?” he finally asked, sitting beside you and directing your attention towards him. The two of you would both sit with your backs pressed to the walls behind you, and have your legs meeting at the centre of the seat, pressed against each other from the knee downwards. This way, you could hide a sketchbook in your lap and draw your lover without him noticing. Unfortunately for you, Taehyun’s eyes were far too attentive to miss that and you were never very subtle to begin with, but it was a fun game all the same.

It took a moment for you to meet his gaze, to be present in this moment with him rather than worrying about your future. Your mother’s latest ‘suggestion’ had been her most outrageous one yet. It was only a matter of time before the whole ordeal blew up in your face if you didn’t find the will to tell Taehyun about it soon.

For now, you groaned and slumped into his side. “I’d rather not talk about it.”

“That’s alright,” he said easily, gently pulling you to him and wrapping a hand around your form. You curled into him, body now on top of his. You sighed in content as he soothingly ran his hand up and down your arm. “What would you rather?”

“This is enough for now,” you assured him, making yourself comfortable.

This is how life always was with Taehyun. The warmth and consideration your lover held for you overwhelmed you at times. It wrapped around you, so that no matter the season, you were constantly blanketed in its radiant grace.

Taehyun was the son of a viscount who your father, the duke, had a great rapport with. Once Taehyun had completed his schooling, your father convinced him to help your family manage your library. Taehyun was neat, precise and simply meticulous in his work. As you spent most of your time in the vast library, and always had since you were a child, you and Taehyun became fast friends. Your friendship bloomed into more after a nearly a year of playing hide and seek with your feelings for each other. And now– another two years later, the two of you had a solid relationship.

The affair was already scandalous; because the title of a viscount was lower in rank than a duke or duchess, marrying Taehyun would diminish your own social standing. You found yourself caring less and less about that fact every day you spent curled up in your library together, hidden from the world and your impending responsibilities as a duchess. When you were with Taehyun, it was simply you and him– nothing else mattered, no one could access either of you in the sanctuary of that library. You’d purposely made sure no one but your handmaiden accessed the library during your hours there with Taehyun. Your estate had a handful of libraries, and your parents had granted you this one for your personal use. It was named after you, and you often fantasized about a time in your life when you’d be able to switch your last name on the large placard for Taehyun’s.

The two of you were silent for a while, simply enjoying how comfortable that action was in itself. You tried focusing on Taehyun’s ever-steady breathing, on the tune he was absent-mindedly strumming onto your arms with his fingers… but as fate would have it, your worries started to crop up in the corners of your mind, disrupting the calm Taehyun had induced on you.

“Read to me, please,” you mumbled, enjoying the sun outside the window behind you that was warming your back. Taehyun’s voice would be a good distraction to the ones in your head (that sounded a lot like your mother). He chuckled at how your cheek was mushed against his chest, and the way you whined in protest when he got up to fulfill your request. Although it took a while for him to learn how to initiate physical contact, Taehyun loved when your body so naturally gravitated towards his. It made him feel needed.

The book he chose was embroidered with reeds harvested from the stream nearby, strands dyed a deep, regal blue. Its edges were bound and plaited so intricately one would not have to read its contents to regard the book as art. Taehyun opened it to where his bookmark lay and began to read.

Taehyun’s soft voice breezed through most of your tension, but you were only half listening– distracted by the anxiousness gnawing at your insides. There was something you needed to tell him, but you kept procrastinating having that conversation.

You were engaged.

When you’d met Taehyun, the process of your engagement was already underway. However– in a rare bout of graciousness– your parents had let you delay its announcement for another year or two. You were still young, and had a few years left before people started to question the lack of a ring on your finger. You didn’t particularly mind your fiancé. He was amiable, which worked for you. And– as your mother kept reminding you– he came from an incredibly wealthy family, which worked for your reputation.

But you did not love him. You’d never been in love, but you had half a mind to know when you weren’t. Your parents tried convincing you that love came with time, but if their relationship was anything to go by… you were better off alone.

Taehyun had been a godsend. At first, his cordialness seemed cold; always polite but never making the first move. You later realized that this was how your lover expressed shyness. Since the both of you opened up about your feelings, Taehyun had been nothing but loving– always greeting you with a new book recommendation you already knew you’d love, and arranging platters of fruit for you by himself when you woke up early to attend to your commitments.

He more or less lived at your house– what with all the work he had– and for that reason, although he’d never formally courted you, most of your employees knew of your relationship. You’d managed to keep it on a need-to-know basis with your parents, who approved of Taehyun, sure, but did not want such a union between you two to ruin their reputation. Gossip would one day be the end of your duchy, you were sure of it.

Ignoring the dilemma didn’t exist– and instead lazing about with your lover like this– was far less intense.

Your thoughts wandered back to the present when Taehyun began to read a familiar poem. Your ears perked up at that, because it was one of your favorites. You noticed he’d altered the words a little to better fit his emotions; Taehyun loved doing that with poems he liked.

“A rendition of a poem by Abel Tesfaye,” he said, plopping the book down softly. He knew that was your favourite poet, and smiled at the slight lift in your mood once he’d finished.

“Thank you,” you giggled, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “When did you work on that one?”

“Yesterday,” he shrugged, laughing softly. “While you dozed off.”

“I did not,” you protested, stifling your laughs as you got off him and fixed him with a faux glare.

Taehyun loved poking fun at your inability to stay up late. You’d been with him in the library late last night, having convinced your handmaiden to arrange dinner there for the two of you. As you sat at your bay window you ended up falling asleep to the sound of pen scratching against paper and Taehyun’s soft humming as he wrote away.

“Ah, my mistake. You must have simply been resting your eyes,” he teased.

Once your laughter had subsided, Taehyun shifted his position so that he was sitting upright beside you. “Care to tell me what’s on your mind now, my dear?”

“Oh, you know…” you stalled, tracing the patterns of your dress. “Just thinking about our future.”

“What about it?” he asked. “Has your mother proposed that we wed in a barn?”

“It’s not that…” you giggled nervously. “If we get married-”

“When,” he corrected softly with a chuckle.

“Okay, when,” you conceded, and the dread that filled your eyes somehow went unnoticed by him. “When we get married, we’ll obviously hold the wedding in here.”

“I’d like that as well,” he grinned, eyes big and adoring. “In the place where our love has grown to unimaginable heights.”

“Oh, Tyun...” you said, eyes welling with tears– and not the good kind. It was high time you told him what had been bothering you these past few weeks. “I- Yes I’d love to, but…”

His beaming smile faltered at the ‘but’.

“What’s the matter…? Is it about courtship? I’ll be formally asking your mother for your hand, don’t you worry about that.”

He knew how your parents felt about your relationship with him. They had nothing against Taehyun, but his title was far too low for them to take pride in. It was all about pride with them. Your mother couldn’t outright oppose it, as there was nothing illegal or inherently wrong about the union, but she made… comments.

“No, no,” you said shakily, turning away from him and facing the window to give you courage. He stood up, concern clouding his features as he put a reassuring hand on your shoulder.

“Actually, Taehyun, the thing is…” you started nervously. “I’m engaged.”

His face fell, the colour draining from it almost instantly. He stumbled backwards, disbelief evident on his features.

“Enga- what? But how?” He whispered. His usually strong and steady voice was faint.

You fumbled over your words, not daring to face your lover, who’s chest rose and fell rapidly with the impact of the confession. “My parents- They had this all arranged… I tried delaying it and I still can, b-but yes… my mother’s been processing my engagement.”

“What do you mean you’re engaged?” Taehyun shouted, shaking with the force of it. He rarely shouted and it made you recoil.

“Taehyun, listen I-”

“All this time, you’ve belonged to someone else?” He asked, breathless from the exertion of shouting. This was not the news he was expecting, so close to the day he was planning on formally proposing to you. He’d made so many plans, and his dream of being yours for the rest of his days was crumbling right before his eyes.

“I still have time to change this, don’t you see?” You tried reasoning, turning to face him. “Taehyun, I’ve been under so much pressure trying to fight this alone.”

The auburn-haired boy scoffed and turned away from you. “But why didn’t you say anything? Why play with me like this?”

You reached out for him but he moved away, his eyes a medley of anger and anguish.

“I’m not playing with you, Taehyun. I didn’t mention it because it’s not yet official. I can fix this, marry you instead,” you said, walking up to him and placing a hand on his shoulder.

He shrugged it off, walking to his desk and busying himself with the books laying there to give himself something to do.

“Taehyun, you know I love you,” you said firmly, placing your hand on his back.

“I have no doubt about that, my dear,” he sighed and turned around, finally letting your reasoning seep through his initial shock. It was a silly little thought… to think you would love anyone but him. Yet his doubts still lingered. “It’s just that…”

“What is it?” you asked, frowning. If he believed you and understood then what was the problem?

“Your fiancé, he is of a higher ranking than I, correct?”

“I- well, yes,” you said, taken aback by his question. “But Taehyun, it doesn’t matter. Being a viscountess isn’t half bad, you know. It’ll mean less work. My younger sister can be duchess instead, heaven knows she’d absolutely love that.”

You tried to make a joke of it, as you often did when being weighed down by serious situations. Taehyun found the habit endearing. He turned to face you once more, finding himself laughing as he cupped your face in his hands.

“I suppose I don’t want to lose my spot in your heart,” he said dejectedly. “Simply because of my title…”

“You know I couldn’t care less about those stupid rules,” you added, dismissing his worries with a wave of your hand. “The hard part is over, I hadn’t figured out how I was going to tell you. Now that you know we can work on this together.”

He called you by your full name, a teasing habit he’d adopted during his love confessions that he presented through the poems and songs he wrote. “I’m with you every step of the way.”

Taehyun unexpectedly leaned in then, placing a chaste kiss to your lips. He usually would draw out your anticipation, staring deep into your eyes and letting your breathes mingle before he finally sealed the gap. His lips pressed against yours in a manner that indicated his fear of losing you. Yours, in turn, sealed his with reassurance.

“I won’t let my mother separate us,” you said determinedly once the two of you had broken apart.

“How about…” he said thoughtfully. “My dear, why don’t you take up your rightful place as duchess. That way, you can make that decision and every other one for yourself.”

Taehyun was tired of seeing you being pulled this way and that based on other people’s whims. It was time you took control of your own life… from the hands of people who had no regard for it.

“I’ll be right by your side,” he promised. “Take back your life. You’d be surprised to know how many people would be on your side.”

Having been up and down these halls for a while, Taehyun knew your estate’s gossip better than you ever would; he was a confidant to most, and knew that a lot of people here would be happier if someone like you took over its management.

“You’ve always had the best ideas,” you smiled, reconsidering your view of what your life as a duchess could hold if the tables were turned and you found a way to get out of being your mother’s puppet.

“Did you ever doubt that?” he teased, abruptly hooking his arms under yours and spinning you around. You squealed in laughter and the sound made his heart soar.

For as long as you’d have him, Taehyun vowed to himself that he’d keep you close and out of harm’s way. The two of you could spend forever like this; two sides of one coin… Or better, to sides of the same page in a book that one treasures for years to come.

⚝A/N: This has taken forever to post I know dgchfjdkd😫 Thank you for your patience guys ❣ I worked really hard to put this out and I hope you enjoy it xx lots of love as always! Remember to share your thoughts with me, I'm always super stoked to hear them :)

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