Tony: You're So Reckless! The Third Stab Wound This Week, This Week! I Told You I'm Fine Being Sent To

Tony: You're so reckless! The third stab wound this week, this week! I told you I'm fine being sent to voicemail as long as you call back after!

Peter: But it's you! It's Tony-freaking-Stark! What if you called me for something important? Like, an Avengers-level mission, or an emergency!

Tony, pinching his nose: Underoos, you do know that I can just let FRIDAY automatically patch through if that was the case, right? Please just stop answering my calls mid-fight and end up bleeding on the streets! I have heart problems, kiddo.

Peter: Understanding is so demeaning, and it's unfair.

Scott: How come, bug-bro?

Peter: Why does it have to be understanding? Why can't it be over-standing? Or top-standing, heck, above-standing! Same with outstanding! Why not in-standing?! Confront?! Why not conback!

Tony: Kiddo, I love the passionate enthusiasm and.. desire for.. erm, equality that you have. However, don't you think that's a bit outrageous—

Peter, affronted: SEE?? WHY NOT INRAGEOUS INSTEAD OF OUTRAGEOUS?!

Avengers: *being split into little groups again after a big fight*

Tony: The Titanic ain't got shit on us.

Tony coming back to the lab on fire near a corner, DUM-E spreading the fire extinguisher foam everywhere but the place burning, and glitter covering every inch of the worktables and inventions:

Peter: In my defense, I was left unsupervised.

Sam, placing a +4: I never remembered UNO being this boring.

Natasha, calmly adding another +4: That's because we played 17 rounds already, and you never won one of them.

Bucky, grumbling as he picks up 8 more cards: This shit ain't team bonding, it's more like team-breaking.

Pepper, sighing as she sets down a reverse card: Fine. Whoever wins this last round gets Peter cuddles for the rest of the night.

Avengers: *suddenly all determined and focused, glaring at each other*

Bucky, sighing: See? Team-breaking.

Ned: Okay, Peter, let's try this one more time. The topic is personification. The robot was left behind by its' master. How did it feel?

Peter: Happy, because it doesn't like the idea of slavery.

MJ: That's my boy.