Azerishi - Demi-aze - Tumblr Blog

Peter: Hey, Mr. Strange, sir?

Stephen: Doctor Strange, Peter. It is not a made-up name.

Peter: Oh okay, Mr. Doctor Strange sir.

Stephen: *sigh* What is it?

Peter: When we put candles on a cake, does it summon some sort of demon that decides based on their mood to grant our wish or do the complete opposite of it?

Stephen: ..I believe the lessons of mystic arts didn't cover this.

I miss seeing them together

Peter: Mr. Stark, can I go ride my bike?

Tony: Do whatever, I'm not your dad.

Also Tony, 2.7 seconds later: Wear your gear, Peter, and not in the streets!

Tony: You're so reckless! The third stab wound this week, this week! I told you I'm fine being sent to voicemail as long as you call back after!

Peter: But it's you! It's Tony-freaking-Stark! What if you called me for something important? Like, an Avengers-level mission, or an emergency!

Tony, pinching his nose: Underoos, you do know that I can just let FRIDAY automatically patch through if that was the case, right? Please just stop answering my calls mid-fight and end up bleeding on the streets! I have heart problems, kiddo.

Peter: Mr. Stark, look! I found this really cool cat, but they looked so sad and so I kinda took them with me so they can eat and now I think I've gotten attached and I really want to keep it.

Tony, on the verge of an aneursym: Peter–Peter, that's a fucking panther.

Peter: I walk around like everything’s fine..

Scott, sympathizing: Is it not? If it isn't, then that's alright, you don't owe anyone anything to pretend that you're okay when you ar—

Peter, tearing up: But deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.

Scott:

Scott, muttering: Why did I agree to this..

Technoblade never dies, he will always remain in our hearts. Rest in Peace with King T'Challa, our blood god.

Tony trying to help Morgan create a poem for homework while sleep-deprived: A day without sunshine is like, you know..

Peter, equally as sleep-deprived: Night.

Tony coming back to the lab on fire near a corner, DUM-E spreading the fire extinguisher foam everywhere but the place burning, and glitter covering every inch of the worktables and inventions:

Peter: In my defense, I was left unsupervised.

Steve: Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.

Peter, nodding sagely: So, that way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.

Tony, tearing up: That's my boy.

Peter: What if the actual reason why our clothes are heavier when we get out of the bodies of water like oceans, is because we carry the weight of the souls of the corpses that drowned in there? Like, they're souls that haven't rested yet, and they can possess, and we're the nearest living thing so they try to attach themselves to us but end up being on our clothes instead.

Tony, crying as he cancels the beach trip: Peter, please stop, I'm already planning a different vacation plan—

Sam, placing a +4: I never remembered UNO being this boring.

Natasha, calmly adding another +4: That's because we played 17 rounds already, and you never won one of them.

Bucky, grumbling as he picks up 8 more cards: This shit ain't team bonding, it's more like team-breaking.

Pepper, sighing as she sets down a reverse card: Fine. Whoever wins this last round gets Peter cuddles for the rest of the night.

Avengers: *suddenly all determined and focused, glaring at each other*

Bucky, sighing: See? Team-breaking.

[S-M;NWH — Interrogation Scene]

Interrogator: We all already know what you did, Mr. Parker.

Peter, biting his lip and looking down:

Interrogator: It's better to admit to them now, it might lessen your punishment.

Peter, sighing: Okay! Okay. You got me. It was me who clogged the toilet last night, but I swear it was an accident, and I tried to fix it, but I just made it worse and it was so embarrassing—

Interrogator:

Tony: I told you! I told you it wasn't me, May!

May: How could've I known?! You're a rich person in a normal apartment, you were more likely to not be used to our bathroom!

Tony: Honeybear, I.. I really hope I'm not like Howard.

Rhodey: You're not, Tones. Trust me.

Tony, sighing in relief: Oh yeah? Guess that means I'm officially a DILF then.

Rhodey: Yeah— wait what?

Tony: A DILF? Devoted Involved Loving Father?

Peter: Understanding is so demeaning, and it's unfair.

Scott: How come, bug-bro?

Peter: Why does it have to be understanding? Why can't it be over-standing? Or top-standing, heck, above-standing! Same with outstanding! Why not in-standing?! Confront?! Why not conback!

Tony: Kiddo, I love the passionate enthusiasm and.. desire for.. erm, equality that you have. However, don't you think that's a bit outrageous—

Peter, affronted: SEE?? WHY NOT INRAGEOUS INSTEAD OF OUTRAGEOUS?!

Peter: I need to go help my classmates, Mr. Stark! I'll be back in 5 minutes!

Tony, worried dad™: What if you don't get back in 5 minutes?!

Peter, suiting up: Then just wait longer!

Steve: When I was a kid, I used to be so weird.

Bucky: Even now that you're a century old, you're still fucking weird.

[After FFH events, in the interrogation room]

Cop: Is there something you want to confess, son? It's not too late.

Peter: I— okay.. I.. I like both girls and boys..

Cop:

Tony, on the other side of the glass: Stop punishing all of us with second-hand embarrassment and just let him go—

Tony: What the fuck—why did you have your finger up my ear, honeybear?

Rhodey: You were sleeping with your eyes open. Go to your room and sleep on a bed like a normal person.

Tony: I can't, Peter's patrol still hasn't ended. It isn't his bed time yet.

Clint, whispering: It's Thursday, he's not even supposed to be here.

Natasha, sighing: We know.

Ned: Okay, Peter, let's try this one more time. The topic is personification. The robot was left behind by its' master. How did it feel?

Peter: Happy, because it doesn't like the idea of slavery.

MJ: That's my boy.

Peter, high on coffee: I'm shitting, crying, throwing up, stepping on nails, and fucking fighting god

Harley: I only shit and cry, you’re a talented multitasker.

Tony, who walked into their convo: What the fuck, you two?

Deadpool: Say, what's a less legal, more effective alternative to pepper spray?

Daredevil, without missing a beat: A flamethrower.

Spider-Man, who only wanted to team up for Team Red: *sigh* Guys, his knife barely touched me.

In most social media sites, people try to include so much tags and trending words to get likes, upvotes, hearts, likes retweet, etc.

But on tumblr, even when you don't tag anything, people will always find your bullshit. In fact, they'll comment, heart, and reblog it to let everyone else know they discovered your shitposts, shower thoughts, and conspiracy theories out of pure spite of you saying no one will find it because you didn't tag anything.

And I love it.

Avengers: *being split into little groups again after a big fight*

Tony: The Titanic ain't got shit on us.