Valeria With A Lover Who's Genuinely A Good Cook- Like I Can Imagine Her Playfully Pinching Their Ass

Valeria with a lover who's genuinely a good cook- Like I can imagine her playfully pinching their ass as they cook, resulting in them (lovingly) cussing her out in Spanish 💀

and Valeria, who can't cook to save her life, because it's my favorite trope

warnings: none 😁, gender neutral reader

Mornings became an essential part of your routine when you moved in with Valeria Garza. For starters, she seemed to never ever have real food in her kitchen, which out of everything, needed to be the crime she was convicted of, you had cold, hard proof!

Mornings were oftentimes the only time you could see her during the day, when her hectic work called her attention, and she was unable to turn away leaving her organization under the leadership of some of the clods she knew she had stuffed in her ranks.

You'd woken up that morning before the sun had even started to crest the horizon, clambering out of bed as carefully as possible to leave your light sleeper alone, so she could get as much rest as possible.

By the time you were finished cleaning up and getting ready for the day, she would be sitting up in bed, stretching and yawning, or holding your pillow in her lap still trying to lasso the last remnants of sleep. Today, her legs were thrown over the side of the bed, elbows on her knees, bare back turned towards you. Bite marks littered her flesh, fading into tanned skin, sore muscles stretching where she bent.

When you passed to exit the bedroom, your fingers drug through the messy tangles of her hair, a kiss pressed to her lips and sleepily returned.

The kitchen came to life with the sounds of your cooking, coffee bubbling in a clay pot over a small fire near the window enticed the woman upstairs to hurry getting ready, and the smells of cooking eggs and the peppers you were slicing to add to salsa verde finishing were enough to drag the cartel leader into the kitchen at last.

Her shirt was still untucked and unbuttoned, hanging open to reveal the dark brown holster settled against her navel, and the sheath pressed close beside it. When she stepped up behind you as you scrambled eggs over the stove, arms wrapping around your middle, you could feel the indents in the weapons pressing into your back.

"What have I said about armas in my kitchen, jefa?" You questioned, focus still on the cooking food, wooden spatula scraping against the bottom of the cast iron as you started to work in the salsa verde and different seasonings.

"si si, lo se," She grumbled, face pressing into your shoulder. Your concentration was solely on the food, and it was only a mild annoyance to the woman as you ignored telling her off in favor of not burning the eggs.

Your knee jerked forward into the wooden cabinet by your legs the second her fingers pinched at the supple flesh of your ass, a loud bang as the wood dented under the force.

"Valeria Garza, ¿estás absolutamente jodidamente loca? ¡Estoy cocinando!" You shouted, spatula raised as you spun around to meet her sheepish gaze, with the challenge in her gaze.

"¡Prueba esta mierda otra vez y te juro por Dios que no te haré el desayuno nunca más!" The threat was empty, you both knew that much, but she at least had the common sense to look apologetic as her hand moved to rub your backside where she'd pinched it.

"Lo siento, lo siento, ¡no pude resistirme cuando te veías tan bien!" Valeria half-heartedly apologized, lips hovering over your own, her hand not still pressed to your ass moved to shut the gas burner off, before pressing you just forward enough to keep you stuck in front of her.

"Eres tan afortunada te amo..." You whispered with a shake of your head, before tilting your head to capture her lips in a soft kiss. "Now, go sit down, you need to eat before it gets cold," You commanded, turning to load up two plates while she moved to fill the mugs with the clay pot of coffee, sprinkling sugarcane, star anise, and cinnamon into both mugs before settling at the table.

"I am very lucky you love me, Ocupas todos mis pensamientos, moriría sin tu amor," She admitted, thanking you as she took the plate and started to eat.

"You can sweet talk me when you get home tonight, as a treat," You brushed her off, even with the dark color that tinted your cheeks, smile hidden between a fork full of eggs.

"Sí, señora,"

this bitch is so fucking pretty like wtf

HER NOSE IS SO FUCK PERFECT LIKE AIDIJDEOANHDOIAQHROIAHFOANDFKIJGRUI

i love her expressions so freaking baddddddddddddddd 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

me, as a indigenous girl was thinking lie

imagine: Valeria getting lost on a random forest and finding like the prettiest indigenous girl ever just like the native stories tell. then the girl saying to valeria follows her, and they being like

valeria: are you going to take off my head and and offer to the gods? (Joking)

the girl: no, but if you don’t shut up I will consider it (joking too)

MY GOD IMAGINE We all agree that Valeria would be the ultimate flirt when it comes to women, right?

When she locks eyes with you it seems like she fell under a spell, her features left her with her mouth open and her heart jumping but she hid it so as not to show weakness.

She starts to question you as she follows you, you can only roll your eyes and tell her to shut up or you won't put her head as an offering to the gods.

Valeria: or what? Are you going to rip off my head and give it as an offering to your gods? (joking but a little frustrated)

The girl: No, they would be upset to have an arrogant offering like you. (really joking)

Valeria going on a illegal car racing and seeing a girl with super pink and extravagant car and she still wins the race

and she is very iconic and hot like Suki of fast and furious

It was normal for her to go to illegal car races, after all she needs customers, imagine her just observing the movement and suddenly a completely pink car arrives on the track catching everyone's attention.

She can't help but be intrigued by her boldness, she watches you tease the other participants while leaning against the hood of the car. A woman with a sensual and daring manner could not fail to capture the attention of el sin nombré

She asks Diego who you were and he tells her everything he knows, the information only leaving her even more intrigued.

As she watched your car jump over the bridge, she couldn't help but smile slightly as she watched you drift smoothly.

After the race she asks her men to ask you to come up, they tell you that el sin nombré want to talk to you (they kind of leave you without the option of wanting to choose)

She looks you up and down with a smug smile. ''congratulations on the race, I saw you downstairs and you seem like a very good driver.'' she says it all in a husky and seductive voice as she slowly approaches you.

After that she is always financing your races and also always spoiling you with clothes, accessories, shoes, cars, everything! you kind of became a sugar baby with great benefits you probably became her girlfriend after a few years, she tried to get rid of her feelings but you trapped her with your love and sex. ♡

I just saw the mom headcanons and it’s so cute😭😭 I love mom Valeria headcanons just as well.

but I think better than mom Valeria headcanon: valeria adopting war fugitive little girls. For we war traumatized girlies

she definitely would!!!

I imagine her after the shooting seeing her men shouting at something and she goes to investigate and finds a beautiful little refugee girl who lost her parents to the opposing cartel.

She saw the child's situation and a feeling of pity grew within her, as much as she hates children, seeing that little girl made her heart tighten with anguish and sadness along with pity.

She arrives at her office and puts the girl on the chair while she calls you to come down to the office immediately, when you get there you see a beautiful little girl with a filthy face and dress and you can't let compassion take over you

When you look at her almost asking what happened, Valéria makes a ''don't ask'' sign while drinking some tequila. You can't help but smile as you imagine your fierce and cold wife carrying a little child in her arms.

some time later she comes to visit you in the early hours of the morning when no one is around and finds you and the little girl lying together, her eyebrows furrowed but a sweet smile escaped her lips when she saw the scene, her family.

I want her to choke me uuugh