Brad And Chris Wore Coordinated Red And Green Swimmers For The 4th Of December In Hot Christmas.

Brad and Chris wore coordinated red and green swimmers for the 4th of December in Hot Christmas.

Better buds

Brad shaved his chinny chin chin so Chris could play the Big Bad Wolf. GRRR!

“I don’t know what we’re looking for Brad. It could be anything. Just like you, I’m only ‘looking’ because they gave us these matching swimmers with $100 inside. Do we even know these people?”

Chris’ outfit was a hot mesh.

Now why did Chris stand up? Something was off….

Just then, Brad tapped Chris on the shoulder from behind causing him to burst into an uncontrollable scream lasting a full 45 excruciating seconds. The tap simply wasn’t expected, and such things tripped Chris into overload since he could remember.

Luckily, Chris’ banging body bought enough brownie points for a gloss over by the immediate crowd, but things still felt tense.

Brad and Chris each took turns switching into thongs under the guise of a cheap and very thin towel for insurance. Smack dab in the middle of the gay beach, it did the trick. Helping diverge the unwanted attention was the location of the taco truck. What was it doing in the boys section?

Chris noted to Brad the taco truck would not always be there to help in such situations. It wasn’t exactly the type of help they wanted anyway. What would happen to them when they got old?

With that Brad grabbed the suntan lotion and offered to slather it all over Chris. They’d gotten this far didn’t they? They’d figure it out along with everyone else. Maybe that’s what Just The Fashion Tip was all about? They could always point to their good work when they got wrinkly.

Chris then suggested they could also move to South America. Ugly old men still flooded the airwaves there next to gorgeous women.

“See?” Said Brad. “Options exist, but I am telling you now all that make up is expensive and the last thing you want to do at 88 is wear an uncomfortable bra.”

“Chris. Honey. Listen. I got to go. This bed is floating again….”

(garble on the other end)

“Yep. Ok. Yeah. I know. I miss you too. Can’t wait to get back. I would like to be in our bed with you. It touches the ground.”

(Brief phone garble)

“Totally agree. I don’t get it either. I really thought future technologies would be more helpful. I mean, one too may hair dryers plugged in at this hotel, and you move from a gentle hover to a very rude whiplash of a wake up call in the space of three feet. I’ll tell you what’s really messed up tho…This phone has a cord.”

(Phone garble)

“For real for real. Yes. I could die by strangulation at any second. You know what?This hotel is on a crash course for one hell of a lawsuit. I can see four, maybe five people getting killed before someone with enough money and connections to go to court comes along. The place is spendy but not exactly regal.”

(Phone garble)

“Well listen, its been full on with this crap for all of us since 1945. I’m all for global therapy. It’s just needed.”

(More phone garble)

“Yep. With you there. Whatever critics say, Cold War is still war. It’s literally right there in the name. Denying that is even more ridiculous than climate change. Who knew we could exceed in all the wrong places? We’ve got quite a bit to work thru huh? I see how we call it the ‘work’ now. Ok. Listen. As I mentioned, this bed is on the move. I’ve got to go. Wish me luck. Love you. Will text to let you know I survived in the morning ok?”

(Brief phone garble)

“Ok. Lots of love then. Good night Chris. I will text in the AM. I love you Brad Bradly.”

Chris hung up and let out a sigh. Saying it outloud did it no favors. There was no way Chris was taking that name in marriage.