Gay Boyfriend - Tumblr Posts

Contrary to his boyfriend’s shallow assumptions, life was not a game for Chris. Obviously, he took his coconuts very seriously and failed to find humor in anything Brad said as to the situation.

Chris then raised the straw to his lips for a swig. “Mmmmm. Mmmmm. Mmmmm. Straight up. This is some good coconut milk.”

Chris finished savoring the first sip. “Seriously Brad, you’ve got to try this. I’ve see your eyes grow on the coconuts bro!”

Brad froze not knowing how to respond.

Brad assured John his workout was next. Chris just went in the locker room to shower Peter.

Of course Brad backed it up. He backed like no one. Helloooo! What gay wouldn’t die without a phone?

Chris then informed his boyfriend he was referring to their VW Cabriolet in their driveway.

Brad paused for a moment to soak it all in. “Chris, did you want to stick it in?”

He did.

Brad and Chris were more than Pumped to do a pool scene for their pal Lisa in West Hollywood. They shot it for her little dog too.

They also needed to replace the framed photo of them in full coverage speedos on the side table in the living room. It was nearly summer in L.A.!

Chris looked in the mirror. Gosh. He needed to front more.

Maybe what he needed was no fly. Maybe he needed a neoprene ring. Maybe it needed to be latex instead. You know what, now he was thinking about it, maybe it was Maybelline after all. If we could just get a final answer there, we could all move on.

With that jingle still lingering in his ear, Chris decided he would check in with their Euro pal, Gustavio to gain some clarity around the otherwise questionable brand of makeup. As Maybelline’s first male Cover Girl, that smoking charmer could easily do an inside job.

Chris paused to think.

That dreamboat Gustavio was a really good in, like a really good in. Now that he was really thinking, Gustavio got in Chris and Brad every time they saw him. Like every time. Was there anyone that man didn’t do twice?

Chris and his bf were always the first to tell anyone it really was that good with Gustavio. The first time was truly biblical, but the second… Well, let’s just say you stop waiting for Jesus after that second coming!

After a smiled chuckle followed by a low and long ‘hmmmmmm,’ Chris caught himself in the mirror once again. He was fronting BIG time.

“Sweet!" His boyfriend Brad would be all over this. The awesome part was that he was gay just like Chris so such gifts never went to waste.

Where was that man anyway? They needed to be gay together for this inside job w/Gustavio…

Chris paused to take another hard look in the mirror. You know, these affirmation sessions were really cranking out some good sh*t.

Chris wasn’t so keen on his boyfriend Brad’s ‘soccer mom’ comment. His breasts were perky without the need for a bra.

“Hey Brad. Did you dry the towels on high heat again?”

Chris fell silent.

This was the part where Brad chimed in to tell Chris it wasn’t the towel that shrank. It was his massive muscles that were growing.

Wha?!? Oh come on people. We can validate parking, why not ourselves?

Brad never followed up with his boyfriend Chris to clarify who the men were. As everyone else, he left the framed photo on the bedroom dresser to fester with the rest of the pics of sorted family members, needy exes, and unaccounted male friends apparently all named Bruno.

Who can say…

Chris threw in the last towel for his burgeoning line of men's underwear after learning his boyfriend Brad sourced the prototypes by purchasing them directly from SKIMS.

Finally connecting why they took a sheet to the beach that one day, Brad found it difficult to pay attention to a lecture on copyright infringement from someone involved in such an oversight debacle. It was also hard not to wonder what the grey skintight suit might look like wet.

Brad was far from alone. Everyone in the closest row of cabana's would hold their breath every time Brad took a small step backwards toward the pool in his highly animated and passionate speech oddly championing someone with billions, a team of lawyers, and the law already in their favor.

She was also a lawyer herself... or at minimum on her way. It was difficult to keep up with bar exam news between Klhoe's lackluster clap back's and finding yourself justifying why not a single man has managed to remain on the show despite secretly feeling not so hot about that. It was a lot with nowhere to go, especially considering the level of sophistication fronted.

Brimming with frustration at his boyfriend's antics, Chris snapped and rushed Brad midsentence to land them both squarely in the pool. Everyone on deck was already on the edge of their seat as they surfaced.

Well… Let's just say Kim K deserves every single dollar she has as the pool deck literally broke out in applause at the sheer glean and mind-blowing accentuation of Brad's perfect nipples. It was breathtaking. It was the only time the two of them wished California was more humid and colder.

Despite the gray suit's flawlessness, Brad and Chris still managed to one up the design. The incident inspired them to launch a new brand of swimwear composed completely of dissolvable materials called ‘Sorry But Not Sorry SKIMMY.’ The initial investor would convince Brad and Chris to shorten the name to ‘But SKIMMY’ to transform it into the ultimate macho answer to the curvaceous clothing line.

Ironically, Brad and Chris’ venture would fail because no one could materialize a profitable dissolvable.

Chris spotted gold. It would be solid in about 20 seconds as his bf Brad was wearing the exact same design but in a thong and on his first set of squats.

Chris’ honeycomb was big. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Ok now.... Inhale!

Brad spoke to Hernando for 45 minutes before realizing he wasn’t real.

His boyfriend Chris lol’d. “You got hooked on gold Brighteyes.”

“Ugh. Chris be nice. The future is really confusing alright. I don’t even know if it was ok to use the present tense in that last sentence. Do you?”

Chris looked to his boyfriend and shrugged his shoulders emphasizing his need for an answer. “So…”

“What? I don’t know Chris. I don’t know. Ok? I don’t know future tense. Are you happy?”

Brad placed his hands on his hips glanced at their California king bed then back to Chris. “So does this mean I am supposed to apologize for laughing at you?”

“I don’t know Brad. I also don’t know why Hernando would let me ramble for 45 freaking minutes about the provocative styles of the underwear line Candyman. Why would anyone do that to someone anyway?”

Chris paused to take a deep breath. He didn’t need to go down that path any further. “As for an apology my guess is probably not as so far the future is pretty rude.”

Brad agreed. “Well, Hernado will never apologize so why should I? Can we just fast forward to whatever’s next? What’s happening after the future anyway?”

“Oh god something! I hope.” Chris paused to take another breath even deeper than before. “Well, let me just say this. If the future really is all there is, I seriously think we should sue.”

After agreeing the extra ‘is’ in Chris’ last statement rang funny, the two made a pack that if it was still the future in a week, they’d start asking around for referrals so they could sue ‘the children.’ They were future and they would pay up for anything and everything subpar. If it had to come out of their parents pockets so be it. Someone needed to take responsibility for the future and it may not be the worst idea to make it an adult.

Brad then reminded Chris not to ask Hernando if it came down to that as it would be counterproductive but didn’t specify the why. It still read as a good point nonetheless.

📣💛🤤

Brad hardly felt sorry for Chris. OMG. Every gay knows you never one up Britney in Daisy Dukes, ESPECIALLY at her annual ultra legendary birthday BBQ bash.

Ugh. Chris was soooo f-ing lucky he wasn’t swimming in chipotle mayonnaise right now. Brad hated mayonnaise.

This newly exposed green jockstrap on his boyfriend tho he might just love…

That’s when Chris mentioned he was looking for a job.

By coincidence, Brad said he had an opening.

The position was filled in the car after a very successful application just outside the ranch security gate.

Brad and Chris would be invited to the annual bash ‘on condition’ the following year.

Chris felt the need to clarify. It wasn’t being green that was easy. He would never assume to know what being green felt like. The thought was preposterous.

What Chris was saying was that he was easy and it was sometimes difficult wearing green. The tone needs to be correct or it may look sick in the way where you lose weight. Chris was happy with his muscle mass.

This shade of green seemed to work. Did his boyfriend Brad see the difference in what he said vs what was heard? Did Brad appreciate the shade of green of his Speedo? He tried on ten pairs for their neighbor Luke to land on this.

Chris raised his arms to showcase the minimal fabric. Brad saw the difference as well as their neighbor Luke’s naughty nature. It matched his own.

As his boyfriend, Brad always stood behind Chris when things got hard. Seeing the the degree of difficulty mastered in Chris’ showcase pose, Brad offered to get his boyfriends back right then and there. Was that ok?

Chris failed to answer and continued to look for that invisible pencil he dropped while posing for Brad. It was a good thing they took a lot of time to find in the sand. That bend and snap was nothing short of a tease.

Brad and Chris were in love… with the Speedo Plant Print Plant Factory Store just off the 405 in Orange County. Full coverage practically half off!

In case you’re wondering. Yes. It can never be too gay.

Chris’ favorite color was RAINBOW!! …Obviously, his boyfriend Brad’s favorite color was clear.

We don’t see him. Do you?

Well… That was yet another post that inexplicably disappeared from Tumblr. There have been so many we lost count over here at BradandChris.com.

Thanks a lot censor bots!!!

PS - Our differentiator as the gays is SEX! Sex. Sex. Sex. Sex. SEX!!!!

Stop it already.

No really. Stop. Sex is our thing.

I’m telling you people jealousy is nothing to sneeze at. This kinda stuff doesn’t happen bi-accident.

BTW - have you seen that one? No real accidents there as it’s scripted. Filled to the brim with bad acting. Bi-accident 2 tho... well, there’s a huge difference. We do mean HUGE.

During aftercare, Chris would ask his boyfriend Brad if the real Ben Dover ever stood up.

He did at least once.

Brad didn’t know what color his boyfriend Chris’ swimmers were. The spread looked pretty good so Chris gave his best guess.

‘Ron Burgundy’ scored BIG time.

source

Brad further pleaded to his boyfriend.

“So what Chris? Sure it’s 72 degrees and sunny. Wasn’t this everyday in LA?”

After five seconds of silence Brad had it. Things were about to get real.

“Listen Chris. You can’t wear that jockstrap and think I’m not gonna want to stay inside.“

Turns out their neighbor Luke felt the same way. He let himself in through the back door after seeing Chris in the picture window under the assumption it was an open invitation.

According to Chris “it wasn’t but it was tho not entirely accidental nor really intentional either.”

Brad thought things read more happenstancial then questioned if that was even a word.

Luke said “it just was what it was, so that made it a ‘why not just go for it’ kind of a thing.”

They went for it.

Ahhhh…. Boys. They do change but only out of clothes to get laid.

All of Chris’ friends were gay. Oh. So was his boyfriend Brad.

Life was good to Chris that way.