Message To Other Survivors:

Message to other survivors:

TW// child on child SA

You’re allowed to be angry. You’re allowed to hate them. You don’t need to forgive them. Even they didn’t know what they were doing. Even if they were probably a victim too. Even if they were younger than you. You’re allowed to be upset about what they did to you.

So many people love to say “oh but they were probably a victim too!” When child on child SA survivors speak up. But the fact is, even if they were a victim too it doesn’t change the fact that it hurt you, that they hurt you.

So if you do want to forgive them, you can! But you don’t have too. You have a right to be upset and angry as much as any other SA survivors. Just know you’re not alone, there’s other people out there who understand, and your experiences and feelings are valid <3

Being abused by an intimate ex-partner who tells people that you’re a bad person is being stripped of your validity of feeling pain.

I have this ever-growing feeling inside of me that I need to prove to people that I’m being abused and I’m worthy of their consideration. I need them to trust me, please, and maybe I’ll allow myself to be a victim too.

I gave people glimpses my old scars and opening them up so I can convince them that I bleed.

I dug a knife under my skin, “I swear that I’m human, can’t you see? Can’t you see? Why can’t you see me?”

A serious thanks to everyone who responded to this poll and this post I made. Seriously. You guys helped me understand things a whole lot more than I had before when it comes to system responsibility and accountability.

Yeah… I seriously internalized a lot of stuff our abusers had done to show that they felt accountability meant taking blame and being shamed for what you did, no matter what you or your system has done to make amends.

The whole “who is at fault” question was based off of my own guilt from making a mistake and having it affect my whole system. Even if “the whole system didn’t try and make amends” for what I had done, I had thought I made amends. The “blame game” was asking if I alone should be shamed for what happened or my whole system. Because we are still being shamed (even if the event happened 4 months ago) by people who care more for the perceived moral high ground than whether or not we know what we did was wrong and changing for the better.

Seriously… that alone is a massive problem with the internet. Where it’s not about someone understanding what they did wrong and learning from it to become a better person. It’s about being able to say you’re more “morally in the right” than the other person.

But again. A serious thank you to everyone who responded. You guys helped me, and my headmates, so much!

-⛈️

Welcome to the Blue Strawberry System’s main tumblr blog!

~ Alters With Side Blogs ~

🍓- any pronouns, prefer they/them - 21 yo, caretaker and host, brainmade, in a relationship with 📖, 🔦 is their twin brother, has many other siblings and children within our system - blog: @bluestrawberrybunny

🔦 (formerly 🩶👻) - 🏳️‍⚧️he/him or they/them🏳️‍⚧️ - 21 yo, host and protector, Introject of Johnny Ghost from Venturiantale, 🍓’s twin brother, in a relationship with 🍞 - blog: @gh0stp13

🧸 - 🏳️‍⚧️she/her🏳️‍⚧️ - 18 yo, mood lifter/mediator, factive, 🍓 and 🔦’s little sister - blog: @anonymouswhitebear

🧡🐍 - he/him, they/them, or xe/xem - 21 yo, mood lifter and host in case something happens to 🍓 and 🔦, brainmade, 🍓’s best friend, in a relationship with 💅 - blog: @theaffsbiggestfan

📖 - any pronouns, I am bigender and use both masc and fem terms - 22 yo (age slider), protector and soother, Introject of Sick Simon from Cry of Fear, in a relationship with 🍓, ⛈️ and 🩸’s older brother - blog: @depressedwriter25

~ Other Active Alters ~

⛈️ - 🏳️‍⚧️he/him🏳️‍⚧️ - 20 yo, ex-persecutor now caretaker, introject of the played Simon Henriksson in Cry of Fear, in a relationship with 💊, 📖 and 🩸 are his brothers.

🍎 - she/her - 24 yo, caretaker, introject of Applejack from An Apple Sleep Experiment, loves cottage core and outdoorsy things, everyone’s big sister

🔵 - he/him - Mid 20’s, protector, introject of Swap Sans (loves to talk shit about his source. Despises his source with a burned passion), in a relationship with 🚬

🎪 - he/him - adult, introject of Caine from the Amazing Digital Circus, easily bored and says out of pocket stuff in headspace (never out loud. He knows how to behave when fronting. You will see a lot from him in Real Shit Said in Headspace)

💊 - he/him - 24 yo, in charge of body’s medications, introject of David Leatherhoff from Afraid of Monsters, in a relationship with ⛈️, 🐹’s brother

☠️ - he/him or they/them - ageless, ex-persecutor now protector, brainmade but also introject of the personification of death, 🍓’s eldest child, in a relationship with 🗝, has a list of people he likes

🩸- he/him - an age (adult most of the time but age regresses), protector, introject of Book Simon from Cry of Fear, in a relationship with 💉, 📖 and ⛈️ are his brothers, he likes to act childish even when he isn’t little (when he’s little he has the actual capacities of a child)

☀️ - 🏳️‍⚧️she/her🏳️‍⚧️ - over 1000 yo, caretaker and mood lifter, introject of Dream from Dreamtale, everyone’s Auntie Dream, 🌑’s twin sister, in a relationship with 🎯 and 🪐

🗝️ - he/him - 23 yo, caregiver, brainmade, in a relationship with ☠️

🔥🐰 - he/him - 62 yo, protector (ex-persecutor, may slip up every now and again) and trauma holder, SamGladiator introject from an old AU, in a relationship with 🌟, demon alter and is trying to heal from past trauma

🪓 - he/him - 28 yo, protector, Introject of Horror Sans, in a relationship with 💟

🎭 - he/him - 45 yo, goofball/caretaker/protector, Introject of Handsome Jack from Borderlands, in a relationship with 🦾, accidentally become the second system dad

🎳 - he/him - 22 yo, system expert, Introject of Jax from the Amazing Digital Circus, knows anything and everything about our system

📺 - he/him - introject of Mr. Puzzles from SMG4, in a relationship with 🍄, very flamboyant and openly gay

💥 - he/him - early 20’s, protector, Introject of Kiyoka Kudou from My Happy Marriage, in a relationship with 🌸

🌷 - he/him - mid to late 20's, introject of Luigi from both Nintendo and SMG4, 🍄's twin and 💻's older brother

🍄 - he/him - mid to late 20's, introject of Mario from both Nintendo and SMG4, in a relationship with 📺, 🌷's twin brother and 💻's older brother

💚❤️💛💙 - genderfluid, any pronouns - adult, MatPat introject (please refrain from comparing me to my source)

🌑 - he/him - over 1000 yo, head caretaker and protector, Introject of Nightmare Sans, everyone’s dad or grandpa, ☀️’s twin brother, possibly in a relationship with ❌️??? (Have not received confirmation or denial)

🗑️ - he/him, trash/trashcan - adult (maybe in my 30’s???), funny little trash man/internal persecutor??, Introject of Remus from Sanders Sides, been here a very long time, 🍓 yells at me in fake anger because of my intrusive thoughts I share :)

👑 - he/him, Prince/princey - adult, the one they shove to the front when shit hits the fan and one in charge of taking care of the body’s appearance, Introject of Roman from Sanders Sides, in a relationship with 🌩, drama queen and ✨I OWN IT✨

🦾 - he/him - 36 yo, unknown role currently, Introject of Rhys Strongfork from Tales from the Borderlands, in a relationship with 🎭, certified goofy goober

💀 - he/they - 24 yo, introject of SMG3 from SMG4, in a relationship with 💻, 🔦 and 🍓’s older brother

💻 - he/him - 24 yo, introject of SMG4 from SMG4, in a relationship with 💀, 🍄 and 🌷's younger brother

🐹 - she/her - 21 yo, Introject of Sophie from Cry of Fear, 💊’s little sister, best friends with 📖 and ⛈️, close friends with 🍓

🍞 - 🏳️‍⚧️he/him🏳️‍⚧️ - early-mid 20’s, caretaker and protector, Introject of Johnny Toast from Venturiantale, in a relationship with 🔦, writes a bunch

There are other alters in this system, and that have emojis attached to them, but they don’t want to be listed. We use emojis instead of actual names for anonymity

Does anyone else have that one friend whose sleep schedule is like an ever-evolving mystery? One day they’ll appear to be asleep for the entire 16 hours that you’re awake, but the next three they won’t appear to actually sleep at all. Sometimes they appear to be on Australian time, other times their schedule has adjusted to somewhere in the middle of the Pacific ocean. (I call this Cthulhu time.) You go a week without seeing them and you have no idea if they’re just really busy, dead, or if their sleep has simply synced up to the exact hours you’re awake and online. The only indication that they’re still in this mortal coil is vague posts about grocery shopping that pop up on their blogs at 4:12AM. 

🐎

💬

these were the funniest 1s i saw

-tommy

Ask Game

🐎 - How often do your alters think about the Trojan empire?

🍓: Ok so to start this one off I’d like to say… kinda often?? But like barely. Mostly because we listen to Epic: The Musical a lot.

💬 - Best quote from an alter?

🧡🐍: I’ll take over this one since I’m the one in charge of Real Shit Said in Headspace (our funny little incorrect quotes thing on this blog where I just share the funny quotes I heard).

So many take the cake for this one. These are some of my favorites:

Jax actually wrote that one down. ^

And finally, one that I absolutely love that I’ve been meaning to write down:

🍓: *washing the dishes* Hey! I have a system here!

🌑: No, honey, you are a system.