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(x)

Simon has come to the conclusion that they are nonbinary. Specifically bi-gender. Blue has been calling them their wife and they’ve been so fucking giddy.

-🔦

(📖 Note: Yes, I’ll have updated stuff in our intro post)

Simon having gender dysphoria and questioning his gender is something I am living for right now /hj

-🩶👻

Um…. Changing my proxy from 🩶👻 to 🔦 just to make it easier for myself. So… just so peeps are aware. K. Bye :)

-🔦

me: I’m faking :(

also me: using us/we even b4 “I” thought I had DID, thinking of myself as “multiple” for many years before even knowing what DID was, doesn’t remember about 70% of my life, has greyed out “memories” for about 15% and emotional amnesia for the other 5%, has whole ass arguments with people in my head (“we should eat this” “no, we should eat that” “no, this”) again before even knowing what DID was, LITERALLY HAVING SOMEONE CONTROL THE BODY WHEN TRIGGERED AND KNOWING IT WASNT ME ???

me: .......but what if-

-samuel (host)

Do any other hosts feel like they… robbed their headmates of having an actual life? Especially since I didn’t know I was a system until almost 6 months ago. It… feels like all this time I’ve spent fronting has been robbing my headmates of the chance to feel like they actually exist and have a life outside of headspace, and possibly feel like this life is theirs too.

Because I’ve been talking with my headmates and… we started talking about our life, the trajectory we’re taking, yada yada yada (jfc we’ve done a lot of self-reflection today as a system), and… they mostly go along with what I say. Except for Ghost, but only because he’s also a host and makes major decisions as well. But… it feels like they don’t get as much of a choice as they should, and they said it’s mostly mine and Ghost’s decisions to make since we’re the hosts.

I just feel so fucking selfish right now and my headmates keep telling me it’s fine. I just… I don’t know what to do…

-🍓

💙 Rhack Stimboard for anon 💙

Credits in Captions