If I Wrote A Cry Of Fear Fic But As If Im (Im A Simon Introject Btw) Writing It Now With My Current Mental

If I wrote a Cry of Fear fic but as if I’m (I’m a Simon Introject btw) writing it now with my current mental health and stuff would anyone read it?? Just curious

- 📖

Real Shit Said in Headspace (Jax🎳 posted edition!)

Caine🎪: We do the best thing! Get revenge in the best possible way!

Blue🍓: Live a happy and successful life?

Caine🎪: Murder

[Text: This system feared they were faking until they learned that they were just frontstuck.]

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Hey. Speaking as someone who was a persecutor, I’d like to add on to this. As well as talk about how Simon⛈️’s “persecutor” role is handled by our system.

My mom, our host Blue🍓, was one of the subjects of my torment, as well as my younger brothers Woodrow🐉 and Morty💀. I was intent on getting them to a point of complete negativity, hurting them as I had been hurt in the past. I believed that no one cared for me, and lashed out. What I did, I deeply regret. Being that person who pointed out everyone’s flaws and mistakes, holding everything against everyone. It was more emotional than physical hurt, but that counts just as much. My persecutions were targeted inside the system.

But then my mom noticed what I was doing. And instead of shunning me, kicking me out, hating or fearing me like I had expected, she hugged me and told me she loved me anyway. I was still her son, no matter what I did. No matter how much I had been hurt. I was still her son and she still loved me. She showed me and my siblings so much affection, and still does. Over time, I broke my old bad habits and began opening myself up to others. Now I have a positive relationship with a lot of people in this system, including my mom’s new fiancé.

Simon⛈️ also hurt others and shit without realizing it and absolutely demolished the system’s reputation. Instead of being kicked out or punished or hurt by the people in this system, everyone showed him so much love and support and helped him learn from his mistakes. He’s still remoursful, as is Sierra🥀 as she is also technically a “persecutor” (we just call them extreme protectors in here so that no one outside the system treats our persecutors like shit just because of their role and shit), but everyone still loves and supports them as they learn, better themselves, and cope with what happened and the damage they had caused.

Seriously, our system works a lot to help persecutors instead of punish them constantly. It has helped so much. I really hope people can understand persecutors as people who just need a little extra help to learn healthy ways to communicate and cope.

-☠️

I'm a persecutor.

I know it's easier to ignore us, to lock us away. We're the ugly parts of you, after all. The parts of you that you wish never existed, that you don't want anyone else to see. The parts that try to hurt people and hurt you for whatever reason. I get it, it's really fucking frustrating to deal with us.

Sorry pal, but we exist. Trying to ignore us just makes our pain stronger. Trying to punish us keeps makes us want want to hurt you back. Trying to lock us away make our emotions grow more and more. You can't get rid of us. We're you, even if you wish we weren't.

And that means you gotta deal with us.

Yeah, I get it. You don't want us causing you trouble in your oh-so-perfect life. Ruining your friendships, your school, your job, your reputation. You think by getting rid of us you're dealing with us. Stop it.

Please, stop it.

It hurts, so fucking much. Don't you see why we exist? We're the parts of you who went through some of the worst traumas of the system. We act this way because it's what fucking got us through life. To survive. You probably don't see it that way, hell you probably don't even remember the things I had to go through. And I may not either! But I still exist. And if you push me away, that means you're rejecting a part of you.

Even if you see me as a separate person or a separate entity, at the end of the day.... we share a brain. A life. Am I not allowed to live my own fucking life with you? Do I not deserve the same kind of help? Hell, if you want selfish reasons, helping me, genuinely, trying to be kind to me, will help you. Maybe I'll actually try to work with you instead of against you. Or maybe I'll even just leave you alone! Or, or, get this. I change for the better, and I start trying to help out instead of doing damage. Yeah? Sounds nice, right?

I'm so sick and tired of people saying how it's okay to lock up their persecutors and punish them. No! Stop that! Punishment doesn't work. Yes, we should have consequences for our actions that are a direct result of our behaviors. I was shitty to a friend? I lose the trust of that friend. I hurt the body? I have to sit with the pain myself. But that's not fucking, locking us away forever.

I mean, sure. I get it. Sometimes we're out of control and you need some way to get that control back under your belt. And yeah, maybe you need to temporarily keep us away from front and away from other alters. But.... it really, really shouldn't be permanent. We also deserve to learn healthier behavior and healthier coping habits and a safe space to express ourselves. Fuck, if you could help us find healthier ways of expression that would be great!

Just please, please. Stop hurting us the same way we were hurt as kids.

We’re getting ready to go on vacation, and I find myself cross with myself due to my carelessness when it comes to packing.

As the body is female, our mother has reminded us many times not to wear certain outfits in fear of some sort of assault. As I am a male, it was something that never occurred to me whilst we pack.

Some alters are expressing concern for the matter as well, especially since it appears such an event has happened to the body in the past but has yet to resurface due to trauma holders keeping those memories at bay.

This has truly given me a new outlook on things, as my fiancée reminds me that she too had a similar fear in our source memories. I am wondering if anyone else has had to deal with these revelations shortly after forming and fronting for the first time.

-💥

Fun fact about the Sophie in our system, she is aroace. So she doesn’t feel romantic or sexual attraction to anyone. She never actually knew this until she confronted Simon⛈️ and Simon📖 about their romantic partners in David💊 and Blue🍓 and pondered aloud how she doesn’t understand how anyone can have romantic feelings for another person.

Btw they’re all sitting on a couch. I was just too lazy to draw the couch in the background.

Bonus: