Fictive Problems - Tumblr Posts
Y’know what’s sad about being a fictive sometimes?? When you know that people are going to treat you like your source anyways, no matter how different you are.
And then if you’re too different from your source, then it feels like you’re not allowed to be who you are because you’re not enough like your source to count!
Or when people see your source as problematic or view your source in a very negative light and then they associate that with you even though you didn’t do anything.
🩸: Like me. People view my source as this crazed murderer who doesn’t care about consent or others.
📖: And then sometimes I feel like people will say I can’t continue to call myself Simon Henriksson because of how many differences there are between me and my source.
That’s some of the shitty things about being a fictive. Because it sometimes feels like we don’t count or that we can never be seen as real people despite actually being real people in this system.
It’s not the case in our system, but it feels like that outside of our system sometimes.
-🩸+📖
Hi. I’m a David Leatherhoff introject. Just call me David.
Drove for the first time in awhile… actually, from what I can remember, for the first time since forming.
Flashbacks and anxiety from when I hit Simon with my car. :)
Source trauma is a bitch isn’t it?
-💊
We’re getting ready to go on vacation, and I find myself cross with myself due to my carelessness when it comes to packing.
As the body is female, our mother has reminded us many times not to wear certain outfits in fear of some sort of assault. As I am a male, it was something that never occurred to me whilst we pack.
Some alters are expressing concern for the matter as well, especially since it appears such an event has happened to the body in the past but has yet to resurface due to trauma holders keeping those memories at bay.
This has truly given me a new outlook on things, as my fiancée reminds me that she too had a similar fear in our source memories. I am wondering if anyone else has had to deal with these revelations shortly after forming and fronting for the first time.
-💥
Ok, I honestly want people outside of this system’s opinions on this. If any other fictives have any input, I’d love to hear it.
Because I was thinking of changing my last name. I still like my first name of Simon, but it doesn’t feel like I can call myself “Simon Henriksson” anymore due to how different I am from my source. I still feel connected to my source, even though my memories are different in multiple ways as well since I’m technically a sort of “AU” version of Sick Simon I guess, but I don’t know. I’m just… really different from him. It really does feel like I can’t call myself by my own name anymore due to how different I’ve become.
I just don’t know…
Anyone got any advice?