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Bad Blood: Boys Don't Work Like That (part three of three)

Eleventh-hour blueshipping and angst rears its head (the urge could no longer be suppressed; R.I.P. any hope of decent Rocketshipping in this fic). This isn't really about vampires anymore.

Part one is here. Part two is here.

Content Warning: First-person mixed points-of-view; colorful language; bizarre occult lore; very loose understanding of psychological and medical issues (seriously twelve!me does not seem to understand psychopathy or sleeping pills); abuse mention; suicide attempt; out-of-character behavior for James, Meowth, and Mondo; wet dreams are not boy periods, twelve!me; absolute character assassination of Jessie; Jesus Hades Christ twelve!me tortured James a lot in fic (I'm told this is not uncommon); James is a witch for some reason (and has a doppelganger)

-O-o-O-o-O-

(James's point of view)

I stayed in the bathroom for a long time.

I was so stupid. I should have known Meowth told me everything was fine just so I wouldn't get upset. I should have known everything was not fine.

I also should have known I shouldn't have fallen in love with Jessie.

How could I be such an imbecile? I knew Jessie abused me, I knew she was violent, yet I still loved her.

That just showed how stupid I was.

What if Jessie had tried to kill Meowth? Or Mondo? If she did, I would never forgive myself.

"James? Are you all right in there?" Meowth asked.

"I'm fine." I tried to keep my voice from breaking, but it didn't work.

Meowth knew I had been crying and came in.

I looked in the mirror. "I'm such a wreck. No wonder Jessie abuses me," I said.

Meowth started to say something, but Mondo beat him to it.

"Don't say that! You're not a wreck. Even if you were, that's no reason for her to abuse you like that. You're not even why Jessie went psycho. It's because of….well….I don't know. Some people are just like that. She's always had a bad temper," Mondo said.

"So it's not your fault," Meowth said.

I looked in the mirror again. I saw a boy with messy blue-violet hair, swollen areas under his green eyes, and a red flush about his face.

That didn't look like someone who wasn't a wreck.

When Mondo and Meowth went out of the bathroom, I used the toilet. I noticed my underwear was wet, but not with urine. I changed it and went out of the bathroom and pulled Mondo aside.

"Mondo? You know what wet dreams are, don't you?" I asked.

"Yeah, why?" he said.

"What age are boys supposed to get it?" I asked.

"Boys get their first wet dream when they're about eleven years old. If they don't then, the latest they can get it is fourteen."

"But what if they don't get it then?" I hoped I didn't sound worried.

"Then there might be an issue," Mondo said.

There was an awkward silence until Mondo asked, "When did you get your first wet dream?"

"I noticed my underwear was wet a few minutes ago," I said.

"It only happens when you sleep and dream about girls romantically," Mondo said.

"Then….I haven't gotten it yet," I said.

"You never dreamed about girls like that?"

"No."

"Or woken up and found your underwear wet before now?"

"No."

"How old are you, again?"

"Seventeen."

We stared at each other.

"I think you should go see a doctor," Mondo said.

We did.

-O-o-O-

Mondo and Meowth knew I was a witch, so they took me to a Witch Doctor.

I was trying to figure out how to explain the wet dream to the Witch Doctor. It might be a bit embarrassing, since the Witch Doctor was a woman.

The Witch Doctor walked in. "What brings you here today?" she asked.

I whispered, "It's about my wet dreams. They're coming late. I think my powers might have something to do with it."

"Then I'll have to let my assistant take care of you. He's male. He'll understand," the Witch Doctor said.

The Witch Doctor's assistant came out. He had shoulder-length blue-violet hair, green eyes, pale skin, and very familiar facial features.

"James, are you aware that this guy looks exactly like you?" Mondo asked.

"Yes," I said.

"Please, follow me into the examining room," the assistant said. I followed him in. His voice was the same as mine, too, except he had a different accent.

"What seems to be the problem?" the assistant asked.

"My wet dreams haven't come and I'm seventeen," I said.

"It's because of your undeveloped powers. They'll come soon, now that you've developed them," the assistant said.

When I left the Witch Doctor's office, I was unsure of what to think.

We took Jessie to the mental institution. She tried to bite me and….that abuse where someone touches you where they're not supposed to. I can't even bear to write the proper name.

It was just awful.

-O-o-O-

We visited Jessie the next day. I was the last one to go in. Jessie cursed me out as soon as she saw me.

"You screwed up such a fucking easy plan and you don't think your ass is getting fucked up?!" she yelled.

"Stop it! Just stop it! Stop blaming everything on me. I work as hard as I can to make our plans work, and gain your love, and—"

Gain your love?! Where did that come from?!

"You think I'd love you?! You're an imbecile to think anyone would love a fuck-up cunt like you," Jessie said.

Her words messed me up. I ran out of the room, crying. I ran out of the waiting room. Meowth and Mondo ran after me, but I didn't care.

I made it to our cabin. I ran inside. I locked myself in the bathroom. I could hear Meowth and Mondo talking in the living room.

I knew what to do.

I took out some sleeping pills and took about ten of them. I felt like I'd vomit.

I ran outside. Mondo and Meowth followed me.

I found a tree and climbed it. They saw me and ran to the tree.

"James, what are you doing?!" Meowth screamed. He started to climb the tree.

"I'm jumping," I said.

"Why?! You have a life, you have Mondo and I—"

"Yes, but for how long? I ruin everything. Jessie was right. I can't even do a simple plan right. Why bother living?" I said. It was getting harder for me to think clearly. My legs were shaking.

I jumped.

Mondo ran and caught me. I was startled and began screaming, "Why did you catch me? I was trying to die!"

"Don't scare us like that. Don't ever do that again," Mondo said. He was crying. I was crying. It began to rain. Meowth climbed back down the tree.

Mondo put me down. I fell to my knees and began to throw up.

"Oh, Jimmy, what did you do?" Meowth asked.

"It's the sleeping pills. I took them so it wouldn't hurt when I fell," I said.

I tried to stand up. I wobbled. I fell and Mondo caught me.

Then I blacked out.

(Meowth's point of view)

Mondo carried James back inside. James looked very pale.

Mondo put James on the bed.

"He took about ten sleeping pills. After I put him down, he probably threw up about half of them," Mondo said.

I brushed James's hair out of his face. Then I put a wet rag on his forehead. He began to regain consciousness.

"What happened?" he asked.

"You fainted," I said.

There was a moment of silence, then I asked, "Why did you do that?"

"I told you, I'm worthless. Jessie was right. Besides, who could love a screw-up like me?" James said.

"I could," I said.

James turned to look at me. Then we kissed on the mouth.

Lesson learned: Jessie and James don't fit.

However, me and James, well, that's a different story.

-O-o-O-o-O-

Moral of the story: Wet dreams are not boy periods. I can't believe that twelve!me needed to be told that.

I don't feel good. This time, it has nothing to do with those chocolate toast things.

There's an old lady outside s c r e e c h i n g at her grandkids and their pokémon. The words she's using are...

Unpleasant.

I... Can't.

I just...

I want to...

I need to go someplace without outside noise. Like Dad's underground lab. If I don't, I think I'm going to...

- Colanda Achroma

Nothing you could possibly send me would make this okay. And even though I'm acting as I am, this isn't my problem though dad's currently out there defending the kids from that hag's foul mouth.

If I stayed upstairs any longer, I one hundred percent would've been the Achroma to cross her path... And the wrong one!

I'd...

- Colanda Achroma

Picked a bad time to go home. Of all of the things to happen outside her house...

@violet-flower-without-color

You need anything? I know how to send stuff via Pelipper Mail now!

im not the problem im not the problem im not the problem im not the problem im not the problem im not the problem im not the problem

stop treating me like a therapist stop treating me like a therapist stop treating me like a therapist stop treating me like a therapist stop treating me like a therapist-

[Voice-recorded and posted to Rotumblr via Rotom.]

- Colanda Achroma

---[Post Edit] Sparky.

Why did you hit record?

Why did you post this?

What.

Is wrong.

With you?

- Colress Achroma

---[Post Edit] I apologize for my daughter's mental state being on full display. That first post in which Landa reacts to the situation outdoors should have been marked as being posted by a Rotom. It shouldn't have even been posted.

I have possession-proofed Landa's phone until further notice. This also means I currently have access to her Rotumblr account.

For those wondering: the irate old woman was removed from the area by authorities. Her grandchildren have been handed off to their parents.

That is that. Thank goodness.

- Colress Achroma

//Hey. Remember when I said Colress would only show up in special circumstances?

//This is that!

challengers alternate universe.

trigger warning for sexual, physical, and emotional abuse as well as rape, cheating, blackmail and manipulation.

the timeline of this au takes place from 2010 to 2024 in a world where covid never happened.

art and patrick met in their freshman year of college in 2010. they both attended stanford university in california. art was majoring in sports marketing on a tennis scholarship and patrick was majoring in business. both boys decided to pursue tennis full time once they graduated, having fallen in love with the sport after just one practice. they quickly became the best doubles team in school and went on to win the juniors us open, earning the nicknames fire and ice along the way. there were rumors throughout their entire college career that they were dating, but both boys ignored the rumors. the truth was that they were dating and had been since a month into their freshman year, but they were keeping it quiet because patrick wasn’t out yet.

when they returned from winter break, it quickly became clear that their relationship had changed, and not for the better. patrick already had a habit of asking art to do things in the bedroom, and he pushed the limits of art’s boundaries until they broke. art would show up to practices with bruises all over him and he would brush them off as clumsiness or from prior practices or matches. if they suspected, none of his friends said anything. patrick’s abuse got worse and worse as the months wore on and art was looking forward to summer break so he could get away from patrick, not that he’d ever tell him that. patrick would use the fact that he wasn’t out yet to keep art quiet. if art told people about what patrick was doing, he’d be outing him, and both boys knew art would never dream of doing such a thing. so patrick was free to use art however he liked.

by the time their senior year started, art was miserable. he didn’t see any way out of his relationship and honestly he didn’t want to try. being away from patrick just made their reunions that much worse and he didn’t want to risk trying to leave and making everything worse than it already was. the day that the boys win the juniors us open, they meet tashi duncan. art falls in love almost immediately. when she arrives at their hotel room, art is incredibly relieved. the attention is off of him for a night and he wants nothing more than for tashi to stay. she doesn’t. patrick and art have sex when she’s gone and art hates it like he always does.

patrick and tashi start dating two days after that. patrick never broke up with art, but since tashi doesn’t know he and art were ever dating in the first place, it’s fine. he and tashi date for three months. art doesn’t meddle in their relationship. he tries his best to keep his head down and get through school and avoid patrick as best he can.

tashi gets injured. art is there for her. patrick isn’t. patrick and tashi break up two days after tashi’s injury. art helps her to get back on her feet and train as best she can. the three of them graduate in 2014 (tashi was at stanford on a tennis scholarship and she was majoring in sports medicine). art asks tashi to be his coach in june of 2015 and they start dating in august of 2016.

in 2017, art and tashi get engaged and are married in august. lily is born nine months later, in 2018. art’s tennis career has taken off. he wins two australian opens, two french opens and two wimbledons in the next two years. tashi’s coaching is getting more and more ruthless and she’s becoming less and less like the tashi art fell in love with. he and patrick are still meeting in secret and tashi and patrick have also started meeting in secret. they’ve been meeting since art and tashi got married. patrick uses lily against art, threatening to tell her and tashi what art has been doing and with who if art ever refuses to see him.

in 2023, art sustains an injury to his shoulder that removes him from tennis for a while. he returns to the sport in 2024 but it’s clear that he’s lost whatever winning streak he was on four years ago. tashi wants nothing more for him to get that streak back, so she enrolls him in a challenger in new rochelle, new york.

his competition is none other than patrick zweig. art loses the challenger but still manages to qualify for the us open. he wins the us open that same season. he divorces tashi and gets full custody of lily a month after his us open win. he also gets a restraining order against both patrick and tashi and retires from tennis that same year. in december of 2024, netflix airs two documentaries about the court cases and art’s life. he sues them, as he hadn’t given them permission to use any of the footage they’d somehow gotten, and wins. in the wake of the restraining order and the documentaries, patrick’s trophy and the money he’d won from the challenger are taken away. tashi also loses most of her credibility and has trouble finding people that want her to coach them.

art keeps out of the spotlight and only plays tennis when lily wants to play on the court at the local playground. he’s working on recovering from everything tashi and patrick put him through. it’s a slow process, but he’s hopeful.

art’s triggers

having his hair pulled

being touched or kissed on or near his waist, hips or hair

the colors red and blue

being called “sweetheart” or “baby”

being asked what he’d do for his partner and being expected to answer with “anything” or being told that his partner will do anything for him

being told that he’s the best thing to ever happen to his partner

being restrained in the bedroom

being marked (hickeys, bruises, etc)

being told he’s doing a good job in the bedroom

another note: because of art’s trauma with tashi and patrick, he avoids men and women that remind him of them for a long time. he becomes very internally biphobic and homophobic and will avoid bisexual and gay men if he can. he doesn’t mean to offend, he just doesn’t want to end up in a relationship like the one he was stuck in for fourteen years. he is working through the trauma they put him through, but it’s a very slow process.

meta — how art’s trauma affects how he views sex, relationships, and his sexuality

trigger warning for rape, sexual assault, emotional abuse, physical abuse, manipulation, cheating, and blackmail

art’s trauma

art was abused for fourteen years. he was physically and emotionally abused by patrick and tashi. both of them were also guilty of sexually assaulting him, but patrick was the worst. tashi knew about patrick’s abuse. she was cheating on art with patrick and she only objected to art being with patrick because it affected his performance on the tennis court. she didn’t do anything to help art get out of his situation, though. patrick would often tell art that if art refused to meet with him at a specific time, he would tell tashi or lily or the press what they were doing. he used art’s fear of people finding out to keep him in line and in control. tashi would use art’s fear of her leaving him to keep him in line. neither tashi nor patrick ever considered themselves to be bad people, and art’s restraining orders against them came as a complete shock.

art’s views on sex

art doesn’t like the thought of having sex with anyone for a long time. he would be perfectly happy in an asexual relationship. he doesn’t like the idea of his partner finding out all of the triggers and issues he has around sex, so he just avoids it whenever he can. if he thinks an interaction is heading in that direction, he’ll leave immediately. he won’t explain himself and he probably won’t talk to your muse for a few days afterwards. the same thing will happen if he needs to stop during sex. he’s been forcing himself through it for years, so he’ll probably try to pretend like he’s fine and he can continue. sometimes (most times), however, he’ll freeze up without any explanation. he tends to put himself as far away from his partner as possible whenever this happens, and he doesn’t explain why.

sex is not something that art has a good relationship with. he has multiple triggers that can be brought on by the simplest of things, and he will not tell his partner about any of these out of fear that they’ll see him as weak or pathetic. he avoids any interaction that could lead to sex whenever possible. if he has to stop during sex (and this is highly likely), he will not talk about it. he will just pretend like it didn’t happen and he will try to ignore whatever questions his partner asks him.

art sees sex as a means for him to be used for his partner’s pleasure. that’s all it was for him for years. patrick and tashi didn’t care about making sure art had a good time. they only cared about themselves. and although art knows that not everyone is like this, he’s scared of it anyway. he doesn’t want to end up where he started, and he’ll do pretty much everything to ensure he doesn’t end up in another relationship like the ones he was in for years.

art’s views on relationships

art’s thoughts on relationships are pretty much the same as his thoughts on sex. he avoids relationships for years. he keeps any interaction he has with anyone strictly platonic, and he will remind them that he’s not interested if the interaction starts to become more romantic or flirty. he doesn’t want to end up in a relationship like the ones he was in, so he just doesn’t pursue anything with anyone. it’s not the best coping mechanism, but it works for him. if someone were to bring up a potential date, art is either going to shut it down or suggest that he bring his daughter along. he doesn’t mean to be rude, but he really isn’t ready for or wanting any sort of romantic relationship with anyone. not for a long time.

art’s views on his sexuality

art is bisexual. this is, unfortunately, something he tries to ignore. he doesn’t like the fact that he’s attracted to men because he’s scared that if he pursues a relationship with a man, it will just end up like another patrick situation. because of this, he tends to avoid bi and gay men, especially in a romantic context. he doesn’t mean to offend, but he doesn’t want to end up in a relationship like the one he had with patrick again, and by avoiding men that aren’t straight, he guarantees it won’t happen.

Hey, if people get mad at you for setting boundaries, set a new boundary with them called “get out of my life.” You are allowed to set boundaries for your mental health. You are allowed to not want to do things. You are allowed to say no. If the person you’re close to doesn’t respect those boundaries or gets mad at you for setting them, they don’t need to be in your life. We’ve learned this lesson the hard way twice now with an emotional abuser. Learn from our mistakes guys. Setting boundaries is healthy and normal in relationships. Those who tell you otherwise don’t care about you and are trying to use you.

Stay safe out there everyone!

-🐹

Adding on to my previous posts about setting boundaries, there’s something else that our ex-abuser did:

They set boundaries that we couldn’t cross (which some persecutors crossed due to lashing back towards the emotional abuse) and we were well aware of that and did our best to abide by those boundaries. Were some boundaries found out by simple accident? Yes. Because this person also never communicated with us. Whenever we accidentally crossed a boundary they never fucking mentioned, they’d threaten us with termination of the friendship (our only friendship that we admit to being dependent on due to our severe lack of proper social skills).

But then we set some boundaries. Such as: no religious talk, nothing about questioning reality, nothing related to x y or z because it’s a trigger for some of us.

And what did this person do? Promptly made us feel guilty for setting boundaries. Literally, after setting those boundaries, they went “Yeah. Listen, we can’t do the fun stuff anymore because of your boundaries. Yeah. Sorry.” This was bad enough i the point where Blue then immediately revoked those boundaries, despite how uncomfortable they were with the things we set boundaries on.

So seriously. Someone could claim to respect your boundaries, but if they’re making you feel guilty in any way for setting them (even if they’re not being forthright about it) cut them out of your life immediately. They’re emotionally abusing you.

And cut out the people who support your abusers too because they’ll either figure it out for themselves or stay out of your life forever. Focus on you. You’re the most important thing in your life. Don’t ever be ashamed of that.

-🐹

Well, now I’m absolutely pissed.

Just learned that our ex-abuser had told Blue🍓 (our host for those who don’t know and the one who suffered the most from the past abuse) that they shouldn’t trust their headmates.

Our ex-abuser had said not to trust our headmates. Said it was to take “system-responsibility.” Said it was because “no headmate should ever be fully trusted.”

To that ex-abuser, I say fuck you. Because we are all literally here to keep the system safe no matter what. Yes, persecutors go about it the wrong way, don’t get me wrong. But what the absolute fuck?

We are all literally here because of the trauma we have endured and because there was this little girl, sad and alone, who had no support system. So the brain made up its own. And that’s where everyone else in the system comes in.

Blue🍓 knows it’s ok the trust us, because we’re all here for them and each other. We’re the support for everyone else that we desperately needed growing up. We are the loving parents (no matter how hard our parents tried to be so, they sadly failed but we care for them anyway), we are the older siblings, the friends, the ones who never leave due to just naturally growing apart. We’re the ones that will always have the backs of our headmates because no one has ever had our backs. When it came to our past abusers, our friends always chose them over us because our past abusers are always more “traumatized” and more “broken” than us.

And to everyone who believes that shit about comparing trauma, fuck right off because trauma is trauma and you seriously should not compare trauma you mfs. Just because an abuser is traumatized does not mean they are excused from that abuse. Just because an abuse victim lashes out and pushes back at one point or another does not mean they weren’t abused.

So for fucks sake, I hope everyone who has blocked us because they know about the drama that happened with our ex-abuser and took our abuser’s side rots in hell no matter how nice they are because they are comparing trauma and ignoring the abuse another person inflicted on another because they deem them to be “more traumatized.”

We’ve moved on from the aftermath of the abuse, we’re getting better, we’re living life and absolutely having a blast about it (currently on vacation, got a tattoo, hot tub soaks, ocean waves, so many gluten-free restaurants with some bomb ass food). But I am still pissed that people are supporting our abuser in all of this. That’s the only thing pissing me off. That there are people who compare our traumas and decide that the abuser is the victim here.

Also a note: our abuser was younger than us. Yes that can happen. Abusers can be any age. If anyone thinks someone younger can’t abuse someone older, you are very much wrong. Abuse is abuse.

Ok. That’s my internet ramble over.

-🎳

I very vividly remember in 2020, being told by this one person who began controlling our fandom rp server, that we had to turn our rp blogs into places where we had to reblog every horrific thing happening during blm. and that he "better not catch us trying to rp". he also was against tagging it because then "white people would ignore it". i remember forcing myself to watch videos of police brutalizing black men and women, real people dying in the streets, and trying to convince myself that if I looked away, I was part of the problem. He'd also convinced me that I lucked out in getting my job, only because I was white, and that I was taking this job from a much more qualified black person. the only reason i got away from him is because I started feeling like i should kill myself, because one less whitey. and that was when i snapped to attention and did whatever i could to get out of there, even though it cost me my reputation being slandered by him.

it's been 4 years, and I'm doing my best to heal, but apparently he's still at it. pulling this same kind of controlling bs that I'm seeing echoed in some of those reblogs.

don't traumatize yourself for the sake of proving you're a good person.

Please feel free to name and shame. That kind of behavior is abusive, predatory and could very well drive someone to kill themselves as you almost did. Him continuing to have a platform and unchallenged reach is outright dangerous.

If you are ever in a situation like this, please, clock the early signs and leave. Your health and wellbeing are far more important than your forced activism. If someone is ever:

Making you feel guilty over something like not reblogging a post, being a certain ethnicity/gender/race/sexuality.

Accusing you of contributing to or being the core problem in a much, much broader issue.

Trying to manipulate you and others by "tattling" on you for not doing something or not doing enough.

Threatening you in order to pressure you into doing things.

Screenshot all of the conversations, block them, and leave.

Things like this are why I will always give call out posts which do not contain blatant and corroborating evidence the benefit of the doubt. Its all too easy for people to join in almost automatically on dogpiles against people being accused of something like being racist or being passive/dismissive about world events.

(E.g; in the 911 fandom literal Latino artists and authors were being harassed over being "racist" re; their depictions of Eddie Diaz only for the people dogpiling them to scramble to retract and apologise once they realized the person wasn't actually an Evil Terrible White Person.)

I'm so proud of you for having the courage to get yourself away from your abuser.

Y'know sometimes it takes some tik toks to make you really think..

I don't think I've really thought about or realized how much my childhood really shaped me into the person I am..

How instead of male yelling voices it's female yelling voices that trigger me the most I feel like a lil kid again scared and afraid and I hate feeling like that.

Same old thing no one notices it I tell them but they ignore me.

My mother says are triggers are our own and need to deal with them on our own..

But how when you've never learned how too?

I have audhd and she knows this she's been told since my childhood in school and out of school that things will be harder for me to learn...

Idk I think she thinks I make excuses for why I can't do certain things..

She makes things ten times harder on me "oh it's not that hard" " you can do it it's not that hard" but it is and I don't have the ability to really explain why I can't do it...

It seems like this is just me complaining about the same ol things I already have...

I know I'm pathetic I'm 25 n still living with my mom but I don't have anywhere else to go..

tw abuse mentions

sometimes I hate talking to my mother because shes very sensitive, whereas I'm desensitized to many things.

she had done something that didn't really make sense, so in my attempt to actually help her (which I shouldn't be obligated to since she abused me verbally and psychically in my childhood...) I said,

"that was stupid. you should've done ______". which caused her to flip out and I was just sitting there like

damn... you're allowed to insult what I do but not the other way around? also funny you flipped your shit because when you used to beat me on the back of my skull I'd just sit there. in absolute silence.

How does your muse sit? Do they take up space, or keep to themselves?

AHH, before i say anything else, first let me say: thank you for sending me this ask! it always makes me so happy whenever i see people send me stuff :) and honestly, i feel like this is an interesting question because the way i see it, the manner in which a character carries themselves alone could say a LOT about them, i'm not gonna lie. so i am glad you asked!! and now, allow me to give you the best answer i can in relation to this: blamore does absolutely take up space whenever it sits somewhere, and i think that a big part of why this is partially due to perhaps confidence that is a little performative on it's part, BUT that is also genuine as well.

and i know that that might not make complete sense without context because i myself think that my method of explaining things sometimes can be confusing LOL. though, i promise that i'll explain what i mean in a second. this is something that i've only briefly touched upon in both blamore's carrd and in an earlier post on here thus far + as such, i'm going to talk about it more in depth here, but even before it's transformation — blamore was someone with a 'big' personality and this sort-of showed through him seeming to be full of confidence as well as being quote spontaneous, especially for someone who seemed to have such a laid-back father. it's also important to know that blamore's father was also very supportive of it, however, though he felt like he couldn't express who he really was while he was still in annecy with thérèse. for, as you may be familiar with, thérèse was... well, there's really no other way to put it besides that she was abusive and as a result, blamore felt like he always had to be walking on eggshells around her.

this is done in order to try to prevent or minimize any future occurrences of upsetting the abuser. but unfortunately, this rarely works and when it does, it's only temporary. and so for a while, blamore had lost his sense of self because he basically conditioned himself to only focus on what was happening outside of himself. and as a result, he had stopped listening to his inner voice for a while as a child, which is not a good thing but blamore viewed it as the only way he could possibly survive around her without completely breaking down so one can understand why he did it. it is also a common occurrence with those who have been abused, and although sacha (blamore's father) had tried to help his child heal from all of the psychological / emotional trauma that it endured at the hands of it's mother (which was made unknown to him by thérèse until he found her physically lashing out at him) with therapy as well as much positive reinforcement from him as possible that he could be the person he wants to be without having to fear that he'd be punished or ridiculed for it... there is still a part of it that is affected by the psychological abuse that was inflicted on it as a kid.

because it has made him chronically angry and self-tortured deep down inside, so although his true personality HAS been allowed to flourish in the years that proceeded sacha and its move to gotham, sometimes blamore falls into what he considers to be a 'bad habit' and be at least somewhat insecure about his identity / personality. so, yeah, although blamore usually always appears to be a very 'loud and proud' person on the outside that let's everyone know that he exists by completely sprawling out or just sitting in positions that call attention to him in general whenever he sits somewhere + gives them this idea that he's not going to let ANYONE make him feel like he can't take up space? sometimes, he feels like he's a kid all over again and one who doesn't know who he is.

and i can't lie, it is really sad. not to mention that it took blamore a while just to become even halfway comfortable in his skin the way it is now because, as far as medical doctors like nico morselli are concerned, it's downright PUZZLING that he's still alive with the way he is now and to suddenly be thrust into being dehumanized by so many people was... very disorienting for blamore, to say the least. but he's tried his best to turn this dehumanization on its head by trying to embrace that he's something else other than just human now. but yeah, i know this was a bittt long, but thank you very much for the ask again! and i hope you're having a GREAT morning thus far :)

ᵂʰʸ ⁱˢ ⁱᵗ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ᵗʰᵉʸ ᶜᵒᵐᵖˡᵃⁱⁿ ᵃᵇᵒᵘᵗ ᵐᵉ?  ᶜᵒᵐᵖˡᵃⁱⁿ ᵃᵇᵒᵘᵗ ʷʰᵃᵗ ᴵ'ᵛᵉ ᵈᵒⁿᵉ ⁱⁿ ᵗʰᵉ ᵖᵃˢᵗ.

ᵀʰᵉʸ ᵈᵒ ⁿᵒᵗ ᵗʳᵘˢᵗ ᵐᵉ. ᴴᵒʷ ᵗʰᵉʸ ᵐᵘˢᵗ ʲᵘᵈᵍᵉ ᵐᵉ ᶠᵒʳ ᵐʸ ᵖʳᵉˢᵉⁿᵗ ᵃⁿᵈ ᶠᵘᵗᵘʳᵉ.

ᴴᵒʷ ᵈᵒ ᵗʰᵉʸ ʷʳᵒⁿᵍᶠᵘˡˡʸ ᵃᶜᶜᵘˢᵉ ᵐᵉ ˢᵒ ?

ᴺᵒᵇᵒᵈʸ ᵇᵉᵃʳˢ ᵗᵒ ᵃˢᵏ ᵐᵉ, ᴬᵐ ᴵ ᵐᵉⁿᵗᵃˡˡʸ ᵒᵏᵃʸ? 

ᵀʰᵉʸ ᶜˡᵃⁱᵐ ᵗʰᵉʸ ᶜᵃʳᵉ, ᵇᵘᵗ ᵗʰᵉʸ ᵈᵒⁿ'ᵗ.

ᵀʰᵉʸ ᵗʰⁱⁿᵏ ᵒᶠ ᵐʸ ᵐᵉⁿᵗᵃˡⁱᵗʸ ᵃˢ "ʷᵒᵉ ⁱˢ ᵐᵉ?"

ʸᵉᵗ ᵗʰᵉʸ ᵇᵘˡˡʸ ᵐᵉ ʷʰᵉⁿ ᴵ ᵐᵃᵏᵉ ⁱᵗ ᶜˡᵉᵃʳ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ᴵ ʷᵃⁿᵗ ᵗᵒ ᵇᵉ ˡᵉᶠᵗ ᵃˡᵒⁿᵉ.

ᵀʰᵉʸ ʰᵃᵛᵉ ᵏⁱˡˡᵉᵈ ᵐᵉ ᵐᵉⁿᵗᵃˡˡʸ ᵃⁿᵈ ᵉᵐᵒᵗⁱᵒⁿᵃˡˡʸ.

ᵂʰʸ ᵃᵐ ᴵ ᵖᵃʳᵃⁿᵒⁱᵈ ᵃᵇᵒᵘᵗ ˢˡᵉᵉᵖⁱⁿᵍ ᵃⁿᵈ ᵉᵃᵗⁱⁿᵍ?

ᵂʰʸ ᵐᵘˢᵗ ᴵ ˢᵉᵉᵏ ʰᵉˡᵖ ʷʰᵉⁿ ⁱᵗ ⁱˢ ˢᵒ ᵗᵉᵐᵖᵒʳᵃʳʸ? 

ᵂʰʸ ʰᵃᵛᵉ ᴵ ⁿᵒᵗ ᵉⁿᵈᵉᵈ ᵐʸ ˡⁱᶠᵉ ʸᵉᵗ?

ᴵˢ ⁱᵗ ᵇᵉᶜᵃᵘˢᵉ ᴵ'ᵐ ˢᵗⁱˡˡ ʰᵒˡᵈⁱⁿᵍ ᵒⁿᵗᵒ ˢᵒᵐᵉᵗʰⁱⁿᵍ ᴵ ˢᵗⁱˡˡ ᶜʰᵉʳⁱˢʰ?

ᴵ ᶜᵃⁿⁿᵒᵗ ˡᵃᵘᵍʰ ⁿᵒʳ ˢᵐⁱˡᵉ ⁱⁿ ᵃ ᶠᵃᵐⁱˡʸ ᵒᶠ ᵍᵃˢˡⁱᵍʰᵗᵉʳˢ.

ᴵ ᵃᵐ ᵗⁱʳᵉᵈ ᵒᶠ ᵇᵉⁱⁿᵍ ᵉᵐᵒᵗⁱᵒⁿᵃˡˡʸ ᵍᵃˢˡⁱᵗ; ᴵ ᵃᵐ ᵗⁱʳᵉᵈ ᵒᶠ ᵇᵉⁱⁿᵍ ᵐᵉⁿᵗᵃˡˡʸ ᵍᵃˢˡⁱᵗ; ᴵ

ᵃᵐ ᵗⁱʳᵉᵈ , ᴵ ᵃᵐ ᵗⁱʳᵉᵈ , ᴵ ᵃᵐ ᵗⁱʳᵉᵈ. 

ᴵ ᶜᵒⁿˢⁱᵈᵉʳ ᵐʸˢᵉˡᶠ ᵃ ᴳʳᵉᵉᵏ ᵗʳᵃᵍᵉᵈʸ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ᴴᵒᵐᵉʳ ⁿᵉᵛᵉʳ ᵐᵉⁿᵗⁱᵒⁿᵉᵈ ᵇᵉᶜᵃᵘˢᵉ, ʷʰᵃᵗ ᴵ'ᵛᵉ ˢᵖᵒᵏᵉⁿ ʷⁱᵗʰ ᵐʸ ᵗᵒⁿᵍᵘᵉ ⁱˢ ᶜᵒᵛᵉʳᵉᵈ ᵇʸ ᵃⁿᵒᵗʰᵉʳ ᵖᵉʳˢᵒⁿ'ˢ ˡⁱᵉ.

ᴵ ʰᵃᵛᵉ ᵇᵉᵉⁿ ᵗʰʳᵉᵃᵗᵉⁿᵉᵈ ⁿᵒᵗ ᵒⁿᶜᵉ ᵗʰʳⁱᶜᵉ ᵗᵒ ᵇᵉ ᵃˢˢᵃᵘˡᵗᵉᵈ ᵇʸ ᵃ ᶠᵃᵐⁱˡʸ ᵐᵉᵐᵇᵉʳ ᶠᵒʳ ˢᵒᵐᵉᵗʰⁱⁿᵍ ᴵ ʰᵃᵛᵉⁿ'ᵗ ᵈᵒⁿᵉ.

ᴬⁿᵈ ʸᵉᵗ ᵗʰᵉ qᵘᵉˢᵗⁱᵒⁿ ʳᵉᵐᵃⁱⁿˢ...

ˢᵖᵉᵃᵏ ⁿᵒʷ ᵒʳ ᶠᵒʳᵉᵛᵉʳ ʰᵒˡᵈ ʸᵒᵘʳ ᵖᵉᵃᶜᵉ?

Also because even if I see posts where someone talks about it, no one seems to remember that SHE LITERALLY DRUGGED HER OWN SON AND KIDNAPPED HIM.

The arc di per se wasn't handled well but people just don't mention this

opinions on nagisas mom!!

Oh boy

Hiromi is a different breed of bastard.

I don't believe she deserved that whole redemption arc, especially in such a short amount of time.

She not only emotionally abused Nagisa, she physically abused him and put him in danger as well.

I don't think we talk about how she drugged and tied up Nagisa, trying to force him to burn the school down enough. That was genuinely insane and terrible.

Nagisa must've been so traumatized by that incident alone, not to mention the other things she's done.

She forced her child to do things he didn't want to do, such as:

Grow out his hair

Apply to a school he didn't want

Live out her failures

Burn down the fucking school

There's definitely more, but I'm too tired to remember right now lmao

Hiromi manipulated Nagisa and made him her puppet to relive the life she failed to succeed in.

Every time he spoke up about what he wanted to do, she would yell at him and say things such as "do you know how hard I work for you?", which is emotional abuse and manipulation.

Yet, she got a second chance because Nagisa has a lot of compassion in his heart.

I feel like Hiromi has caused Nagisa so much grief and got away with it.

I don't like how her narrative was written, she shouldn't have been forgiven, let alone so easily.

I wish Nagisa had said "I do not forgive you, but I am willing to work on our relationship if you are willing to allow me to be my own person" or something along those lines. She does not deserve sympathy or forgiveness, she needs to be put in prison for child abuse.

Hiromi's narrative is one of the few arcs that really bothered me.

That moment in your healing period when you realize you would rather die alone than go back to your abuser >>>>>

Love how well you wrote this! Good job!

yandere!Alastor with Violet Evergarden!reader scenario

Warning: obsessive behavior, implied violence, implied emotional and physical abuse, implied brainwashing, knowledge based on spoilers from the first two episodes of the 2024 series.

There may be possible triggers in this story.

If you do not feel comfortable venturing any further, please hit the 'back' button on your device or computer and read something much more pleasant than a possible series of unfortunate events.

You are responsible for your own Internet consumption!

Hey guys, welcome back to another Hazbin Hotel fic, starring Hell's one and only Radio Demon, Alastor! This is a collaborative piece written with @isuckatwritingsobenice, whom I share a mutual adoration for Violet Evergarden, the anime and titular character who is in my humble opinion, one of the best written female protagonists I have seen in anime.

As always, bullying is not tolerated here. If you have nothing nice to say, please do not say it. Furthermore, if you believe the warnings listed above will make you uncomfortable, please leave now.

For those who have decided to stay, sit back, relax, and let's see what's going for tonight's broadcast :)

Alastor is someone who thrives on entertainment and chaos. Seeing the scourge of Hell striving to redeem themselves in Charlie’s hotel, only to fail as soon as they gave into the vices they’ve been trying to cure themselves of? That’s the only reason he agreed to help the princess with her passion project. He needed some inspiration after lacking it for so many decades! 

When you had arrived at the hotel with nothing except the clothes on your back and a suitcase that protected your precious Remington typewriter, the Radio Demon would not deny that he was amused to see a sinner who actually saw his advertisement on the television. After all, no one was taking Charlie seriously, and who would? Apparently you did, but for a different reason: you were looking for a job, a purpose. You said so in the interview, and you were willing to learn. When Vagatha asked what would be considered a flaw in your work ethic, you took off your leather gloves and showed her and Charlie  the alloy prosthetics that acted as your new limbs after losing them in the war.

Why you still had them and why your appearance was wholly human, you did not know. Would this be considered a flaw? You were not sure either. You are still learning about modern technology, especially the handheld devices called cell phones. 

Although the staff was in dire need of someone who could advertise the Hazbin Hotel on the Internet, the princess found something you could do and might be adequate at: gardening. More specifically, being the hotel’s groundskeeper. Someone who can maintain the hotel’s outward appearance and make sure the hell-grass or weeds don’t  get too out of control. You stood up from your seat, feet planted together and saluted Charlie, promising that you will do your best in a monotone voice.

The poor dear did get a little flustered from your actions, but Vagatha did not seem to mind, asking you to follow her upstairs so that she could show you your new room and give you the key. Your first day will be tomorrow. 

Oh, this will be fun~! Alastor thought with a wide grin. Someone new to antagonize and fall into the fiery pits of failure! Husk was starting to bore him anyway. 

And he was not disappointed. 

He saw you struggle with holding a garden spade, laying down carpets of fresh grass neatly without trying to crush it between your prosthetic limbs, carrying fertilizer and what flowers to plant! These entertaining events happened within the first week of being here. Is he sorry that his shadows purposely swapped the fertilizer bags and replaced the seed bags to plant roses with rat bait? Absolutely not! 

The more chaos that he created, the more entertained he will be. The anticipation to see you crumble from the pressure and expectations of dear Vagatha and Charlie is almost palpable, he couldn’t wait! 

However, you were not someone who gave up as easily as he hoped you would. 

You kept showing up every day at the exact time, and worked in the garden until Niffty had to drag you inside to have lunch. Then you stayed outside for a bit longer, making sure everything was ready for the following day. You even tried to help out in the kitchen, though you were still struggling to properly hold a knife and chop up vegetables for his jambalaya or cracking eggs in a bowl to help Niffty bake a cake at nine o’clock in the evening because she was bored and wanted something sweet. 

You carried heavy crates of liquor for Husk and even massaged his temples when he complained of a headache. When you discreetly switched out the liquor in his booze for water one time he held a grudge against you for pulling that stunt for almost a week. He eventually forgave you by preparing a Shirley Temple on the house after you politely rejected a whiskey on the rocks because you did not drink alcohol. 

Sir Pentious, the wannabe overlord, was utterly fascinated with your prosthetic limbs and had asked you to let him examine them. That comment earned him a low, menacing growl from Vagatha, spear in hand. The Egg Bois seemed to like you well enough that they tried to help you out in the garden when all they really did was make your job a bit harder. You still thanked them anyway. 

Angel Dust tried to take you shopping for a new wardrobe since you always wore the same outfit every day, but his definition of fashion bordered on risque and flaunting his assets. You were not here to flaunt your appearance, you were here to work, but you thanked him anyway. When he came back to the hotel, staggering inside on wobbly legs and his face covered in black-blue bruises, you were the one who caught him and helped him settle on a table as Husk pulled out a first aid kit. You allowed Angel to put all four of his arms around you and cry on your shoulders, carefully placing your skeletal prosthetics around his back. 

How is it that a single sinner could empathize with everyone here except him? 

This singular thought, this curious idea, is what motivated Alastor to find out more about you. And there is no else in Hell who can spill the tea on someone as accurately as his dear friend Rosie. 

A trip to Cannibal Colony was in order~!  So he did go there, proclaiming he’ll be back before dinner and ignoring Vagatha’s cursing as well as the princess trying to calm down her short-tempered lover. 

As it turned out, he had heard about you, it’s just that the topic in question did not interest him at the time. Rosie conjured up some old newspaper clippings, pointing at the image of you fighting against an exorcist in hand-to-hand combat during the Extermination. This article had been written five years ago, and the one before that? Three years ago. It seemed like you were simply at the wrong place at the wrong time, and you fought back because that is what your life had been before; surrounded by violence, vanquishing enemy forces when they crossed your path. Yet when you did make an appearance, everyone in Hell clamored for any scraps of information. Anything to find out who is the mysterious sinner who looked like a human and could rip off an exorcist’s head bare-handed. 

Now, you were staying at the hotel trying to put whatever remained of your afterlife together. That is your true purpose and now the Radio Demon knew. 

Alastor thanked Rosie for the information and the company, leaving Cannibal Colony in a merry mood. Everything was in place. Everything made perfect sense now.

If you were looking for a way to be useful in his newest project, he can make that happen. All he needs to do is nudge you in the right direction without Charlie and Vagatha around.

They are adorable when they are taking turns being a guard dog around you, you sweet little darling~. 

Taglist

@chroniccorvus

@imperfectbloodmoon

@doc-tooth

@nixie-writes

@riddle-simp

@tired-of-life-86

@blackmageoffandoms

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moms b like “your emotional pain causes ME emotional pain and that is what we will be focusing on today”

what’s a subtle way to tell someone ”heads up that person you’re friends with is a covert narcissist and they’re grooming you” because i feel sick to my stomach doing nothing

tw blood

saw a artist say how cabalism was used "for metaphpur for love ,desire, and obsession. how about canabalism as a metaphour for abuse/assault.?"

and i thought that was genious because yeah, it just make sense that ,that kind of imagery can be used for showing any kind of abuse.

so i made this.

this is kind of a vent art?

also this has nothing to do with the cakeverse thing lol.

i chose to make a strawbery cake like one of those barbie cakes where there is cake and barbie in between.

i made it cuz when i was 4 i had a barbie cake on my birthday . that day is as far as i can remember .

so like to symbloise death of inoocence or something.

multiple forks to symbolise difrent kinds of abuse slowly taking parts of you away.

and some other things but i am to lazy to right lol.

so interpt however you want thats what art is anyway.