Hi! I Heard Your Takin' Some Au's. Here Is One: Batfam At Met Gala!

Hi! I heard your takin' some au's. Here is one: Batfam at Met Gala!

Holy shit holy shit holy shitttttt yessss

I was literally just thinking about this.

When Bruce said "we're going to the Met Gala", this is not what he envisioned would happen. 

Dick tried to convince him that this was completely normal. 

Because he should really start expecting shit like this. 

He expected someone to show up wearing something odd or ridiculous, or for someone to do something odd or ridiculous. 

He didn't expect both of those things, plus more. 

Dick had shown up in a crop top that read "My eyes are down here", dress pants, and a gold Versace sun hat. 

Jason was not any better. He was wearing a Wonder Woman themed suit with a pair of black dress shoes. Now, this doesn't seem bad except for the fact that he had cut the pants into shorts, taken the sleeves off of the jacket, and had someone bedazzle the shoes. 

Tim was okay, out of everyone. Tim was wearing a classy black suit with a green jacket. And congratulated himself on having at least one somewhat serious child……Until he looked down. 

Fucking. Cowboy. Boots. 

God fucking dammit. 

He noted that Damian decided to wear a similar version of what he himself was wearing, a simple black suit with a cape-like jacket, which wouldn't have made him sigh if he hadn't known that Damian still felt the need to be armed at all times. 

Cassandra. His beautiful, sweet, chaotic daughter. Strutting down the aisle in an electric blue jumpsuit tucked into leather thigh high boots. It could be worse, Bruce reminds himself. 

It got worse. 

Stephanie had been hanging around Dick apparently. Crop top, Check. Pun on said crop top? Check. Fuzzy pants?......Check. 

Bruce pinched the bridge of his nose to keep from showing his internal despair. He was so tired. 

Bruce is once again reminded that Duke is a good child and will always be the only semi-normal one in this family. Thankfully, the boy was wearing a sleek black suit with a gold tie. Unfortunately, Bruce did not see him handing out Batman stickers to reporters. 

Bruce thanked his past self for putting a "no plus ones" rule on this event, still haunted by what happened at the last gala that his children brought their friends and significant others to. 

The man shuddered and continued down the carpeted runway. 

(I hope this is okay!!!! I wrote this at 11:15 pm so if there's any mistakes I'm so sorry!)

Headcanons about Star Sapphire Bruce pt. 1

(bc I can't stop thinking about this, also ft. Batwoman Kate)

Kate and Bruce have the Introvert/Extrovert brainwave

Bruce didn't get his ring until about a year after Kate put on the cowl

"Brucie" acts bubbly, loud, and social

Bruce has ptsd (ptss), minor depression, and anxiety (and by extension night terrors)

Bruce sometimes prefers to be alone, rather than with his loved one and he kinda beats himself up over that

Bi/Pan Bruce, bc I can and will

One time during a mission, the Watchtower had been compromised and the league was freaking out about where they could go, and suddenly Kate sighs and goes "I know a place...."

They expect it to be an apartment or warehouse (or as Barry thought, a literal cave)

She brings them to the mansion

Alfred opens the door and doesn't even blink when he sees the group of costumed adults

Bruce is in dining room, watching Dick try to figure out how to cook in the kitchen

Hal sees a nice ass in legging and slides up like "Hey sweetheart~"

Bruce turns around

Hal is surprised but not upset

Bruce greets them all while casually kicking a sword under the couch

The manor is full of pictures

The fridge is covered is report cards, art, reminders, calendars, etc.

They all get settled in and immediately bombard Kate with questions

"Who is he?" "Is that Bruce Wayne?!" "How do you know him?!" "Does he know who you are?" "Hal are you bi?" "Yeah?" "Cool"

All of them fail to notice the young kid glaring at them from the doorway until about 20 minutes into the meeting

(@catboybatman)

Batfam random hc's

Jason

Everytime he eats, he spills something, water, food, etc.

He only wears funky socks, if it doesnt have a print they will not be worn

He dies his white streak in bright colors

There is a Dora the Explorer sticker on his helmet, Lian put it there, no he will not remove it

He has another ID, (like matches malone), its name is Chad Malone

Bruce

He has curly hair, i will die on this hill

He also has piercings and a eyebrow slit

When he was a teen he had his hair bubbelgum pink, just because

Freckles on his face, shoulders and arms

As a kid he had "strange" pets, (see; tarantula, snakes, frogs, lizards, bats), this is also were the hoarding adopting started

He named the tarantula Betsy

He goes to the woods surrounding the manor to talk with the supernatural folks, every sunday he checks up with a fairy family

He can draw, really good

He made the batsuit himself

He has a oversized varsity jacket, it was Harvey's

He's bi

Dick

He is allergic to peanuts

He has at least 7 croptops

He saw Bruce make out do the deed so many times, it doesnt faze him anymore

He paints his nails

Bruce thought him how to do the perfect eyeliner, they wont tell anyone else the secret

His favourite color is orange (hence the gingers)

He Jason gave him a little bracelet when he just started as Robin. Dick wears it everyday

He is very good at flirting but when someone flirts with him he doesnt know what to do

He lives in constant fear that all his exes are going to team up against him like a ginger army

He used to have a fish when living with Bruce, it died a week later, he hasnt recovered

Stephanie

Half of her clothing is purple

She died her hair purple so many times that it has a permanent purple hue to it

She has so many little trinkets, she can make matching earings,

She also has curly hair

She wears the most colorfull make up looks

She can sing, but only musical theather

She beat her father so hard that he had to be in the hospital for a week before going back to black gate

She has a tattoo, yes it was an accident, no she will not remove it

Duke

He wrote a poem about coochie and recited it to the family, tears were shed

He is ace/pan

Thinks he's sneaky but makes the most sound out of the whole family

He saw a chicken, wrote a poem about it, cried, destroyed it, cried again, now he lives in fear if what the chicken will do if it finds out

He walks into glass doors, all the time, his powers just leave the moment he's near a glass door

Everytime his powers warn him about his siblings, he just takes out his phone and starts recording

Sometimes he adds random sounds to his poems, nobody knows if he's serious

He learned calligraphy just so he can write his coochie-poem neatly

He has an addiction to buying pens, he cant help it, he sees one and he needs it

He and Babs have so many blackmail on everyone

Pt.1

reblog and put in the tags a popular fanonization that you don’t like for a certain character

No one's really gonna mention how gender neutral most of the Robin costumes are????? Okay ig

List of Bruce Wayne concepts that may or may not be me projecting

Once when he was 16 he texted Kate that she needed to come over quickly and she thought it was an emergency but it turns out that Bruce's boyfriend at the time broke up with him and he wanted to dye his hair and diss the guy with his older cousin

She still cries about this night when she misses him

After he adopted Dick he stopped locking his bedroom door so the kid could climb in bed with bruce and cuddle after a nightmare (it helped them both a lot more than either knows)

About a week before Dick's first gala the kid had a breakdown bc he wanted to wear a dress instead of a tux but thought bruce wouldn't approve or love him anymore if he found out, but when he did tell bruce all he did was hug him and ask "which dress do you want? No budget"

They made front cover the next day with their sparkly blue gowns

Bruce doesn't like Starbucks, and will often run into small family owned cafes as batman

Tim, Jason, and Cass took on this tradition

If a random kid comes up to the manor doors he will let them come in for dinner, sleep in a nice bed, take a shower whatever they need

He pays for free health care for all of Gotham

Stephanie asked him for advice on 'which piercing would look best on me' as a joke and he proceeded to answer her seriously

She didn't know that he had a septum piercing

He gets upset when people touch his neck and shoulders (specific the back)

He gives himself haircuts

He had a mullet at one point and doesn't regret it

Dick found pictures of it and that's why he grew his hair out into one, as a tribute