I Love This Add-on Because It Implies Jason Will (eventually) Take On Alfreds Roll For Them Once They

I love this add-on because it implies Jason will (eventually) take on Alfred’s roll for them once they take over for Bruce (all while Jason has *somehow* still kept the bit going decades later)

time travel fanfic idea where Jason comes back to before he was adopted, him and Batman still meet and he still ends up being adopted by Bruce Wayne, but he just refuses to acknowledge Batman and Robin, he acts like a civilian boy, he has over thirteen extracurriculars that Bruce does his best to keep up with. He regularly works out and trains all the fighting he's learned over the years, he goes on a gap year before college to recuperate the all blades and pretends to be the civilian in a family of crime fighting vigilantes.

He's doing pre-med and keeps nagging his siblings to go to college too (Cass, Tim), Duke is the one who spends more time with him bc everyone else is nocturnal and sleep through the day, but Jason likes to drive Duke to his classes and pick him up so they can have lunch together, Damian had a hard time at first, because Jason speaks every language that he speaks and all bat related things have to stay at the cave, his league training didn't prepare him for a civilian brother.

During an attempted kidnapping during one of the Wayne galas, Jason's whole plan almost gets blow up because one of the guys has taken a woman hostage and his Red Hood fried brain just pounced on the dude with all his might, wrestled him for the gun and kept him stuck under his boot with the gun pointed between the guys brows.

He had to pretend to be scared when Batman came to the rescue and act like he didn't know how to handle a gun.

+ Alfred 100% thinks Jason was on a children gang and that's why he's so good with knives, guns and rifles, but who's he to say anything about people's past

This is hysterical and I am crying. Definitely going in my Top 3 Cracky Headcanons., right next to Coulson/Fury forming the Avengers for the purpose of finding friends for their baby assassin Natasha

Danny, Dani, and Dan get deaged by a wish gone wrong. They get picked up by a loser in a furry costume.

Batman, having only been on scene for about half a year, still making mistakes and eating shit when he doesn't stick the landing, finds the trio of babies stashed away in an alley.

Batman's not doing so hot; he'd just fought a new rogue with strange abilities and only barely won thanks to being thrown through a case of occult antiques in the museum. In the end he'd managed to restrain the being by opening an ancient vase and imprisoning the villain in it.

The Dracula-themed villain had been a very difficult fight, and said fight had only proved to him that he had to train more. Get better. He was on his way home, actually.

Clearly someone left them there to pick them up later, given that there's a diaper bag with all of their names on it.

He drops them off at a baby drop-off and goes about his night.

Except he got attached.

The very next day he's so overcome with guilt he immediately looks into being a foster father for them. The process takes awhile, but he gets to foster them.

So by the time Dick comes into the picture, there's already three hellions toddling around, and he gets to be a big brother far sooner.

Also, the noise the toddlers produce helps him ease into life at the manor.

*pulls up to the fanfic drive-thru window* uh yeah, i’ll take a fake relationship with a side of mutual pining and thinking the other isn’t interested, thanks

because it's so elaborate, or because you forgot it already?

you couldn’t waterboard my ao3 password out of me

and if you turn to ur left you’ll see the emos

some people think writers are so eloquent and good with words, but the reality is that we can sit there with our fingers on the keyboard going, “what’s the word for non-sunlight lighting? Like, fake lighting?” and for ten minutes, all our brain will supply is “unofficial”, and we know that’s not the right word, but it’s the only word we can come up with…until finally it’s like our face got smashed into a brick wall and we remember the word we want is “artificial”.