Talon Dick Grayson - Tumblr Posts
Talon!Dick but the feline predator like tendencies make him susceptible to catnip
The hilarity behind these tags is not lost on me.
Like, sure, Jay's 1000% cool with death jokes when he's the one making them. Not so much when he's on the other end of it
What do you think would be the best (read, most hilarious and/or most traumatic) way for the Owl Song Titans or JLA to figure out what exactly the Talon part involves?
Apart from all the horrible little details about his life Dick lets slip over the years, I think the one that genuinely makes them “what the fuck” is if Dick casually gets killed in front of them.
And I’m not talking hypothermia hibernation state killing, I’m talking about shot-in-the-head-dead, or casually getting run over by a truck, or even having his neck audibly snapped.
You see, Bruce and Jason totally know Dick is gonna be fine. At this point into their careers, they’re more exasperated about Dick’s lack of self preservation than anything. Jason totally witnessed Dick walk into oncoming traffic more than once just because he saw an “on sale” advertisement for his fave cereal across the street.
Usually Dick just sits back up and keeps going like nothing happened. Broken bones are a hassle, sure. But his pain tolerance is genuinely concerning, so…
Anyway, Dick’s mischief extends to everyone who doesn’t know about his unique condition, so instead of sitting back up and laughing it off like he usually does, he plays dead for a moment. (Reader’s choice of it’s with the JLA or the Titans.)
And everyone is freaking out because, omg, Talon/Nightwing is dead. Omg. OMG. Someone watch Batman, he’s about to lose it. No, [insert name], CPR isn’t gonna cut it for a frigging head shot-
And then Robin just jams his hands into his hips and— nudges Dick with a boot. Repeatedly. Launching into an entire essay of how he’s gonna revoke cereal privileges if Dick keeps doing this shit and giving him a heart attack because “you totally could have dodged that you stupid bird” and then just devolving into angry hooting and chirping and-
Oh no. Robin’s lost it. Batman is about to-
But Batman just sighs, turns away, and proceeds to begin cleanup duties and-
Oh, okay. This is worse. They’re in denial.
But then Nightwing sits up with a pout because, oh no, Robin is totally serious about those cereal privileges now, and he’s NOT risking that.
Everyone screams. Someone faints.
Dick grins.
Bruce definitely regrets allowing Dick to choose how he goes about disclosing his Talon secrets to the others.
@vinnybox here your fanart for your brilliant version of talondick ❤😍
pls write snippets of this in the comments or reblogs I want it to grow.
!¡None of this is my art¡!
The batfam go to an alternate reality where Bruce and Alfred are dead, Damian is batman, Jason's a Priest, Tim is joker jr, and dick is talon cuz he died at 9 years old. There was never any robins cuz dick wasn't adopted but some how they all live together and view eachother as brothers.