It Should Be An Actual Crime That People Dont Appreciate Dear Reader More. That Song Is Everything That

It should be an actual crime that people don’t appreciate dear reader more. That song is everything that Taylor has been trying to tell us about herself and it is the epitome of traumatised daughter who was a gifted child but can no longer seek help and can’t let anyone in trope. Dear reader is my bible 😭😭🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️

some of the main men in the Aliverse

Adam: I want her to know that I care and I’ll do it from afar if I have too

Levi: I am untterly in love with her

Jack: gurl who broke you

The most excruciating part of unrequited love is having to break your own heart constantly. Especially when you've been hurt before and so the next time onward you keep preventing the eventual heartache by spending every waking moment slowly ruining and breaking your own heart.

Shower of Flowers

Pairing: Kim Seungmin x Reader

tags: fluff, just pure fluff, college boyfriend Seungmin, non-idol!au

masterlist

Exhausted.

That's how you felt as you took a deep breath in the closed stall of the bathroom before stepping out. You look at your made-up face in the mirror. Eyeliner, lipstick and blush are on point. Your favourite A-line dress flaunts all that your body has to offer while still leaving a lot of room for imagination.

You have never looked better and you knew it. You had finally reached a point of confidence in your body that even staring at yourself in the mirror for more than ten minutes didn't make you want to pinpoint a tiny blemish across your hand.

You were smart and you knew it. You were starting your new job at a prestigious magazine because you deserved to be here. You had worked hard and believed in yourself and made it here. It was all there.

Yet a part of you constantly felt out of place, something always felt missing.

Your friends were waiting outside the door of the restroom. The ones who had watched you grow and come into your own during your grad school years. The same ones you had spent days and years crying, laughing and having fun with. Yet it felt out of place on certain days. The days when your anxiety got the best of you and even smiling felt draining. You didn't need a social battery with these people, there was nothing to think much about except that anxiety was a pain in the ass that existed constantly.

Shaking off the negative thoughts from your head and fixing your lipstick you head out.

"Oh yes y/n is here finally, let's go, guys!" You see Jisung shout to the rest of the group as everyone gets up from the different chairs they'd been sitting on while you were gone.

"Sorry guys, there was a queue." You smile sheepishly.

"It's okay. Now let's go to the pier next." Yeji had always been the mother of your little group and she did her job well by leading the way.

All of you step out of the small restobar and head out into the dark, cold New York evening. The long-awaited New York trip was finally happening. weeks before you'd all start your new jobs in different parts of your country. Yeji and Han were moving to California, Felix to Arizona and Seungmin and you to Chicago. This really was a once-in-a-lifetime trip for all of you. It was the last night before all of you had to fly back home and decided to check out the pier 57 rooftop and gaze at the magnificent city's skyline to end this masterpiece of a trip you'd had.

"Hey, you alright?" Seungmin's voice brings you back to reality, the one where all of you are walking toward your destination. Seungmin has fallen in step with you as the other three walk around happily a few steps in front of you. You tilt your head to look at Seungmin and see his worried gaze. A small smile forms on your face, it always does when you see Seungmin.

"I'm fine Minnie." "You sure bub?" You nod unable to verbally respond through the slight choke in your throat at the term of endearment.

Seungmin and you had never discussed what you were, but there was always something that just crossed over the thin line of friendship and proceeded to more. Since freshman year of university, the both of you have been dancing around this unknown territory. Never verbalising the emotions that you knew are present in both your hearts. Just existing in the comfort of the bubble you had created around the two of you. The rest of your friend group has tried their best to pursue the two of you into making it official but the fear of losing each other had always prevented both of you from speaking on it.

God only knew how ecstatic you were to find out that Seungmin was also going to live in the same city as you after graduation. It felt like a piece of home was always going to be with you, even if it never went any further you were content just having him next to you.

Seungmin wasn't exactly a soft, sunshine-y soul like Felix, and neither was he your biggest hype man and mood booster like Jisung. But Seungmin understood you. He saw through the layers of facades, he reached out to your heart through the thick layers of dark clouds in your head. Seungmin might make you want to pull his and your hair a lot of times when he is being playful but he is also the one who kept you company over countless sleepless nights. The one who'd understood your need for physical space but also managed to do anything and everything to cheer you up. Seungmin let you into his world, giving you the privilege of being the one to take care of him when he needed it.

Even now he walks side-by-side, close enough to touch but still far enough to respect each other’s space. Since you told him about your issues with boundaries Seungmin has not once initiated physical contact without your permission and every time it melts your heart. Eventually you realised that with Seungmin, you have no problem in holding hands, hugs or even cuddles. And when he figured that you became comfortable he let himself hold you.

You look at him again, he's looking up at the sky and staring into the distance. From the side, he looks so beautiful and ethereal that you don't want to turn away. Seungmin was not exactly the most handsome guy you’ve seen, but as your affection and feelings for him grew he became gorgeous in your eyes. You could stare at him forever, but you force yourself to look away as Felix shouts happily at the gorgeous view in front of you.

You gaze at the lights, the water and take a mental picture of the sight and soak it all in as you sit in the nearest sofa facing the scenery. On the side, Yeji and Jisung are fighting to get better pictures as Felix laughs and entertains them. You feel heat radiate from your left side as Seungmin sits next to you. There is a small smile tugging on his lips as he watches the skyline. You look at the direction he’s seeing and find yourself staring at the pretty moon.

“You’re my moon.” The words leave your mouth before you can stop yourself.

From the periphery of your vision you can see Seungmin’s smile grow wider. “And why is that?”

You turn to face him, he is looking at you with an amused expression. Maybe tonight you’ll be a little bolder, finally take the chance you’ve been waiting to take for years. Maybe tonight it won’t be a failed chance and for once you won’t just have to dream of getting to experience Seungmin’s love. For once you would be true to the feeling that has been growing exponentially in your heart since you got to know him.

“You’re my moon because you shine the brightest during my dark days. You light me up from within on days when I can’t find it in myself to like me. Ever since you came into my life you have been a constant presence, in one form or the other. Some days you’re not there physically, and on some you’re there with me for every breathe I take. Even if it is one text or a simple smile, you make sure to be there. Your presence has been significant especially during the turbulent high tides of my life. And no matter where I go, even when the day ends and the light disappears, you shine on the dark sky. And that is why you’re my moon, Kim Seungmin.”

His eyes have gone from amusement to realisation and with that his eyes have gotten glassier. His expression tells you that he knows the gravity of your words and that he feels the pull too.

Usually you’d be ashamed of being this open to him, you’d be running in embarrassment or making a lame joke to cover up your vulnerability. But today, you felt bolder, you felt the physical urge to let it all out.

So you reached out and intertwined your fingers in his. As usual, Seungmin was warm. His touch reverberated in you, made you feel alive. You squeezed his palm, like he’s done for you a million times now. You angle your body to fully face him on the bench. Not a single care about your friends or the other people there. Tonight all you knew and all you saw was Seungmin.

“I might be too late, but I wouldn’t know. Because when I’m with you, time ceases to exist. I feel like I live in an eternal cherry blossom on a chill spring day. Days merge into nights, yet all I see is you. I don’t know when you consumed me so wholly, but I can’t see myself without you. Every waking moment there is something in my life, in my day, that reminds me of you. The idea of existing in the same realm as you does satisfy me, but I am a greedy human. I want more. I need more. I need you. I need to love you, to let me take care of you. I need to fight with you, to cry with you, to laugh with you and to grow in love with you. Seungmin, I’m scared. So entirely petrified. I know I am ruining the friendship that we so carefully built. I am throwing something so solid for something that has been fragile till now… but you make me feel like loving you could be as ethereal as watching a moonflower bloom. This is risky, and for years I stayed back fearing the change. But, now I would rather fail trying to love you than being a coward who never got to try.”

The sentences flow into the other as you speak and the words tumble out of you in a sure manner. Seungmin is left speechless, he’s staring at you with tears threatening to fall from his eyes. You’ve never sounded this confident and a second after your big speech you want to bolt. You consider it, for a good minute before Jisung interrupts the two of you.

“Hey are the two of you coming or what?”

You turn to face a bouncy happy Jisung and the lack of understanding must be clear on your face. Before Jisung can repeat his question, Seungmin speaks up. “Actually the three of you proceed, we’ll meet you back at the hotel. I think we’re done with the sightseeing.”

You blink back and forth between the two boys- Seungmin and his polite smile, hand still in yours, and Jisung with his big smile that turns into a pout. The latter considers refusing Seungmin’s offer for a minute but changes his mind and leaves with a big wave. You crane your neck and watch as the thee of them skip along out of the pier.

You take a deep breath before turning to face Seungmin.

He’s looking at you with big eyes, a wide smile and slowly moves forward. His free hand comes up to your right cheek, a slight brush of fingers and then rests against your face.

“That was beautiful Y/N. before jisung interrupted anyway.”

To say that you’re a mess would be an understatement. You feel like a thousand rainstorms are pouring inside you and no words come out your mouth. You must be expressing the short-circuit of your system through your face as it causes Seungmin to break into his cute giggles.

He lets go of the other hand that you were holding and cups your face with both his palms.

“I want to try too Y/N. So desperately, like my life depends on it. You’re my everything. All that I’ve wanted since the day you showed up to class with lunch for me. For years you’re all I could think of. No matter how much casual dating I tried to do, there’s not been a single day that has gone by without me wanting to be the one you love. To hear you say all this feels like watching a dream unfold in front of my eyes. I knew you were fragile when we met, you wanted to heal and you needed to. So I waited. I waited for you to allow yourself to be loved, to be taken care of. And I was willing to wait as long as it took you. But the man in me is so shamelessly thrilled that you want me too.”

You don’t realise when the tears started to trickle down and when seungmin started rubbing circles on your cheeks. All you know is he loves you too. The two of you have been learning to love each other from apart without realising. And at this moment it feels like the universe has aligned in a perfect line for the two of you finally.

And the only logical thing you could do at that point is to throw yourself into his arms, so you do just that. Seungmin is ready to welcome you as always and this time he doesn’t hesitate to hold you close.

Whenever you’ve hugged till now, there has been slight hesitation and tension in holding each other close for a longer time. But tonight, there are no apprehensions in how strongly you cling on to him and if his grip on your waist is anything to go by, Seungmin has no intentions of letting you either.

It feels like a million lifetimes congregated to create this singular moment of joy for the two of you. Your heart feels like it is going through a Big Bang of its own resulting in the equilibrium of loving Seungmin. The million different phenomenons of the universe has led to this moment where time expands to last a lifetime and the human body is nothing but a mere vessel to express the insurmountable love you hold for each other.

The two of you stay there until you feel the initial drops of rain fall on your cheeks. You break apart to look at the sky, now cloudy and ready for a big downpour. Then you see Seungmin and he looks radiating. He definitely looks thousand times more handsome when he’s happy.

“Maybe we should head back?”

He mulls over your words as more drops fall on you both. Then he pulls apart takes your hand and walks you to the edge of the peer. Just as you can question him, he pulls you into a hug, leans close to your ear.

“Orrr I could kiss you into oblivion under the rain, with this view like I know you’ve always wanted…” You can hear the smirk in his voice. “I’ve seen the books you read Y/N, don’t be so shocked.” He adds with a chuckle.

His words leave you stunned and before you could back out you nod a hurried yes.

He leans in and the moment his lips touch yours the universe showers her gratitude by blessing you with the sweet rains like a shower of flowers.

I am simultaneously consumed by the fear of being too much while also dreading not being enough

Anytime I see a fic starting with “English is not my first language. Please excuse mistakes” it always ends up being one of the most well-written and excellently articulated fics ever!!!