Carth Onasi Tries To Escape His Past.

Carth Onasi tries to escape his past.

Bastila Shan wants to fix the past.

(Amnesiac) Revan wants to learn of her past.

(or at least to realize what the hell's happening around...)

He dreams about her yet...

His chest was aching, a lot. He barley could breathe and see. Everything around were blurry and confusing, tortuous and- "Damn! She was alive!", Darth Malak thought. He smiled for a bit and almost feint on his desk; his heart was pounding so hard that it hurt, it hurt to have a heart and feel again the turmoil of emotions he didn't believe they were dwelling inside after so many years.

It hurt to know she was alive after all this time, and he wasn't there; it hurt to realize he couldn't kill her as he had believed; it hurt to know he failed as Sith; and, it hurt to see the anger in her eyes.

More than hurt, it scared him. She could kill him before, and she could do it again, this time Darth Malak wasn't going to expect any kind of mercy and forgiveness like the last time they fought; this time he will see those angry eyes as she fights and tries to defeat him. The hatred and pain, the anger and betrayal, the love and regret, all that he saw through her eyes in the second Revan met him in the hallway, he was able to feel it ever since. And will feel all that once more when they meet for the last time. It was an intoxicating nightmare.

Revan was good in hide her feelings to the opponent, she tried to teach him, but wasn't the Jedi way. Adding the Mandalorian mask, it was completely imposible to know her reactions, to witness the madness inside of her. The few times she took the mask off Infront of him were in the most intimate and vulnerable moments they could share. During the war and after the new 'Sith' occupation, was short the time he could be with her as two simple beings enjoying their existence and their feelings; the feelings they used to have for each other before war.

He can feel her yet just closing his eyes, she's there in the same room, smiling, tired, given up to him and for anything Malak wanted to do. He opens his darkened eyes and she's still there looking at him as tired and surrendered as he reminds, comprehensive, waiting for something to hear to respond, ready to answer any question Malak had in mind. Revan was there willing for anything Malak needed.

But why she wasn't like this the day they fought? Where was her comprehension about the path he wanted to take for their government? Where was her willingness to follow him just like he did in all these years? Why she rejected him and tried to kill him? Why she rejected him?

Revan is still there with arms crossed looking for his eyes, waiting...

"Maybe I should try harder to convince you..." Malak said. "Maybe I should show you what I was capable to achieve for us..." He regrets. "Maybe I should have made an effort to learn from you and understand your vision like before..." He perturbs himself. "Maybe I should let you kill me because I wasn't good enough..." He confesses, looking at her saddened eyes as he tries to feel her shoulder.

"I wonder how your face did look the day you wanted me dead. I wonder If your eyes were like flames full of passionate hate or were empty and quiet like the mask you used to wear." He asks and then triggers his lightsaber ready to attack the phantom by his side.

Amnesiac Revan *walking into the Jedi Enclave on Dantooine for the first time and seeing serious faces of Jedi Masters*:

Oh, you all look so happy to see me! Shame, I can't feel the same...

My last Star Wars comic before I take a 2ish month hiatus on posting them (with obvious exception for things I share on Patreon and my Discord). I thought I might finish strong. 

[Inspired by this Lil Nas X Tweet that still haunts my Dreams / Nightmares]

Revan must be fun to hang out with.

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Mission: Lexi, can you imagine what a piece of shit Revan must've been if her best friend decided to kill her in the end?

Amnesiac Revan: I can only imagine what a piece of shit that friend is...

Veritas in medio

Revan: I thought Jedi have to be calm...

Bastila: Your stubborness and dullness can make anyone lose their temper!

Revan: Are YOU saying that to me?