I Question My Confidence, And I Question My Worth,

I question my confidence, and I question my worth,

on the raft I get scared of falling—plunging into the water head first,

losing all breath,

sinking to the cold depths

of the abyss to drown.

unconvincingly telling myself,

all it takes is one step,

the water is not deep,

I can walk through the seemingly,

infinite abyss

—below,

I can swim,

I can float,

without my raft.

but will I dare losen my grasp,

will my float lighten their grip,

it has on my anxiety,

will it force me to flip,

will I fall silently,

I don’t think so,

I cling to my raft.

douleur-douce/douxsouffrance, my raft

I have not broken your heart - you have broken it; and in breaking it, you have broken mine.

Emily Brontë, Wutherinng Heights

I feel everything but feel nothing at the same time, and the pain is so exquisite—I don’t even ask why

Taylor Byas, from I Done Clicked My Heels Three Times: Poems; “The Therapist Asks Me, “What Are You Afraid Of?””

[Text ID: “The remembering hurt / more than the living because shame dials / in. You hearing me? I was naive enough / to think I could control a life. Even mine.”]

my biggest social issue isn’t that I don’t have friends it’s that I’m not close to any of them which is sorta like a skill issue I feel

I was looked at, but I wasn't seen. — Albert Camus, The Misunderstanding