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Milky Way and Mount Shasta, United States

My Migration Part 1

I have been silent for the last few months because so much has been happening to me. Have So much to share, so many variations of my truths. Many that I like to share and so many that show how ugly I am too.

First I HAVE TO SAY THANK YOU! Thank you for still being here! reading my life's journey and stories that I express with you.

Secondly, I would also like to state that more stories are here to come.

For the last two or so months. I have been in the mode of should I stay or should I go. I Currently reside in a shore lined Studio apartment here in Yonkers. With very nice amenities. In my unit I have a washer and dryer as well, a garbage disposal. One I use very often and a Dish washer that I have yet to touch. I pay for water and I never wanted to be tempted and or pay a very high water bill. I spike it often by washing loads and loads of laundry and lengthy showers.

When I returned home from my deployment, I had a need, a wanting a hunger to be with nature and to be a lone. I was always surrounded by people. But! mostly people who didn't get me or that were not my type of people. Add on to that, a base where I'm in the middle of no where. Just sand and the hot sun. Along a sea of people who burn when the planet faces the sun. it's always something that was bothering me. Always something that effected me. If it wasn't a micro aggression, It was a macro one.

For the sake of not repeating myself. I choose to live here in Yonkers because I felt that It was time to leave. Time to be free and branch out from the city and see what else my state had to offer. Even though It's just over a bridge or two. Now a year and a few months have gone and I have to leave. I have a hand of good times and a lot of rough ones. No bad, after all, all things are bout perspective. Right!?

I'm in a bit of a bind and this is the real reason as to why I am moving. I am short on funds and have to figure out how to manage my life. However the conclusion that I have come to is to just leave! Move with a bow of grace and probably rent a room . Not only am I having financial issues. I can't afford the new rates that have been set for where I live. Do I feel safe here!? That would be a relatively yes. Am I at peace when I come home to rest me head, no! And that has much to do with my surrounding environment. Commonly called, my neighbors. The building is made of wood and not concrete. Which I have to tell you is absolutely madding. I hate that I can hear them breath through their feet. The sound quality of the building is terrible. I never thought that in my many years of living. Sound would be the one thing to annoy me the most as an adult.

The sound quality is so bad that when I see people in the building looking to rent I tell them the absolute truth. Without omissions, Unlike what happened to me when I signed my lease. Other than the sound quality. I have to say I like that it's not 10,000 people or so who live here. Just a few hundred. There are two gyms and not everyone uses them. But! The pool, the pool it’s always full. There I stay away, besides the pool is shallow. If you were to look at me you can tell I need something big and something deep. Shallow was never my for take.

With all this said and done. I just need to figure out what my next move is going to be. I greatly dislike they they hav e placed me in this position. I mean aren’t they getting enough money with me being in the unit. I have to say this greed is so annoying. Like I’m already paying this money. I strive to not be a petty practitioner. But! I feel I need to cast against them. His response when I told him what I’m now sharing with you guys was that, “ He needed to put the unit for market value” I just gave home the saltiest look. Like you’re already getting paid!!!! His other response was “If I were to bring in someone new, I would market the unit at $2.200” that’s a big difference. Not to mention living here feels as if I’m paying a mortgage. This is super inconvenience.

To be continued……….

Was it really worth it?

Dear Tumblr Diary

Was it really worth it? I have to say that yes! I know everyone and their mothers are talking about the slap that was seen around the world. Being that I’m more of a will smith fan. Than I am of Jada pinker and or Chris Rock. I have to say this to me, was seen a long time ago. Not Will Smith going up on stage SLAPPING the living shit out of Chris Rock. But! Will Smith standing up for himself as a person. I say person rather than man. Because in my eye’s your gender, sex (Identity) in that aspect has nothing to do with standing your ground and demanding your respect. Over the years I have seen how many people, celebrities or those who frequent them. Try and emasculate him, provoke him or taunt in one way or another. I’m not a person who’s big on pop culture or whats in the happening now. As an outlier, when things are big. Big enough to catch my attention. I give it!

Over the years, This red table from his wife, daughter and mother in law has come up. And other aspects of there lives have come into the public eye. Which in a patriarchal society, has made will smith seem like too much of a passive guy. "Seem" being the operative word here! I’ve always liked will smith because of his down to earth humor and relatability. I too, am his completion. And goofy like him too. I guess like most fans I have attached aspects of my identity to him and his success. I think thats why most people go really hard for there Idol. Or a celebrity that makes them feel.

I too know the ways of suffering in silence. I know how it feels to bite your tongue. And keep a pretty smilie face on for optics. It has to be hard for him in ways that we could and or only imagine. I do not have children and nor am I married to a woman who’s free to spill the beans about our personal matters. Now! Small disclaimer! (I don’t know shit about there personal lives) He for all intensive purposes can be just as guilty as her with having entanglements. BUt! The reason for this post is to share why I agree wit this, "SLAPPING" of the rock. The Chris rock, you see from other sources and even from both of their statements on social media they have Identified each other as friends. But! Would a friend constantly poke fun of you. Especially with a room full of people he could have chosen to poke fun at.

Almost every time I have seen Will smith in the media before this incident, It was deeply heart felt. When listing to him, either podcasters talk about him or when on YouTube videos of his being shown. It seemed to me there was always more behind that mans eyes. I believe, he felt that he could not choose wisely. I may be wrong. Fuck I am wrong because with everyone getting a divorce. He could HAVE left her! Or her leave him!? But they choose to stay together.

Was the joke a really bad joke no! But! When sources on TV and other social media outlets confirm that Jada has a medical condition. It makes it all the worse. Will smith on hot97 and other platforms is always in someone’s mouth. And who knows what was said between the couple about her condition. NOt!!!!! to mention as a gay man! My hair is everything to me. I like how it’s an extension of myself expression and Identity. So I can totally see this being that for any women. Especially a celebrity. I share in her pain in knowing that something thats out of her control is happening to her body. How she has to change her thoughts. Not to mention, her self perception is going to be a real eye opener for her.

She has brought up time before that she & Tupac have been in love. She to me has not gotten over that. Has not moved on or even properly grieved his death. I again can relate to wanting to love someone and it being snatched from you. Taken with out notice. Only to deal with the remains. It’s nothing you can do but! Deal!

Maybe these scenarios, are what we’re running in the thoughts of Will Smith. How he’s always shrugging things off. Letting things go. Being passive about the amount of disrespect that thrown him. There’s always the straw that breaks the camel’s back. And talking about backs. The way the internet has show support! I have to say is funny, But! Fucked up. I myself had to take a MOMENT and realize I too play in to his man’s mental help.

This persons feelings are being disregarded! When people are constantly checking him about how he should behave and not how it’s ok to be. To just be. He’s a mentor, father, probably someone’s brother or cousin. He’s a husband. All titles, many people on this planet can relate to. Was rock wrong? I’m still indifferent about it because the statement says He did not know. And being that they are celebrities. He has his brand to run. And they have their own to run as well. As the women around always say “ MInd the business that pays you” and well, In Chris rocks case, It didn’t pay that well on stage. But!!!!! I have to say that he did handle that very well. Even when Will smith kept it going from his seat! He kept his composure.

I’m from the hood. So! For me one smack ain’t gonna kill no body. It night get you knocked out. But, It ain’t gonna kill no one. I

On Shadow Work and the Spiritual Emanations and Thoughtforms of Emotions and the Subconscious self

Content:

Aspects of the psyche

Shadow work

Thoughtforms

Subconsciously created thoughtforms

Introduction

The human mind is a complex organism made of hundreds of intricate components. These components can be thought of as cores of memory and archetypes. We are going to be discussing these archetypes as if they were unique and independent beings or features within one’s psyche; but, it should be noted that this is not intended to be interpreted as literal. This being said, humans as a species tend to place information into a hierarchy, memories included. The subconscious mechanisms that fetch structured information from and write information into memories are these archetypes. If you have not read the work of Carl Jung (https://www.goodreads.com/shelf/show/carl-jung) , I advise doing so either before or shortly after reading this article. When it comes to witchcraft, there are only 3 of the Jungian archetypes that are predominant: The Shadow, Persona, and Anima/Animus.

This post is in no way an implication that shadow work is necessary to practice witchcraft.

The shadow

This archetype is the subconscious function for dealing with trauma and/or over/under stimulating experiences. The shadow is your mind’s best attempt at managing critical experiential information that the conscious mind would rather not process directly because of its complexity or emotional effects.

The Persona

This archetype is the aspect of the self that is a projection of what we think others would want to perceive us as. The persona is the mind’s best tool for social adaptation. It regularly stores and recalls the behaviors, body and facial languages of those around you and then projects them on to yourself in moments when you desire a sense of community.

The Anima & Animgus

The current structure and interpretation of this archetype is a little outdated in my opinion. However, it does have some validity for psychological applications. This archetype, at least where the current depiction is useful, is the mind’s process of gathering and projecting information about gender, sex, identity, and reproduction. It manages this subconscious information to find a mate, sexual partner, life partner, and self identity.

Shadow Work

It is important to note that Carl Jung is not the inventor of shadow work, and nor did he contribute anything significant; however, he did give us some english terminology to use when discussing it. Shadow work as a concept originated in several indigineous cultures in the Americas, as well as several Indian and African traditions. It is important that we do not allow mysticism and psychology to be white washed, so I recommend trying to do further research into the cultures that Jung borrowed ideas from (South America, North/Central Africa, India).

When it comes to shadow work, we don’t solely deal with the Shadow archetype, we deal with the persona and the anime*1 as well. Shadow work isn’t a solely magical practice, and includes going to therapy, self care, and psychiatry. Magical shadow work is based around the idea that our psyche can be and is affected by magic. There are a plethora of approaches to magical shadow work, while there are definitely some things you should avoid.

When performing shadow work magically, do not treat the shadow as if it were a separate entity from you. It may appear to be evil to you at times, it may house some of your worst traits, but all attempts to remove it will:

a)not work.

b)be temporary fixes at most.

c)likely result in the creation of a thoughtform.

This also applies to aspects of the Persona. Trying to magically will away behavioral traits will most likely result in the creation of a thoughtform. There are workarounds, but most of them revolve around actually going to therapy and speaking to a licenced professional. There are also bindings, which do not remove behavioral traits, but rather prevent them from happening while accepting that they do exist as part of you. If you are unfamiliar with bindings and how they operate I recommend checking out this article. (https://witchipedia.com/glossary/binding/)

When working within the psyche magically, it is important that your aim is resolute. The scope of the work is only limited by your understanding of your own psyche and your self awareness. This is why so many guides and articles about shadow work are mostly depictions of mediations.

To begin performing magical shadow work, one must first gain awareness of themself. This is best done through meditations and thought experiments. Start off by entering a calm state and rotate your focus inwards, without focusing on anything at all. Then, once a comfortable level of presence in the self is reached, begin cycling through memories starting with the oldest one you can manage. Pay attention to how you processed the information and experiences you were presented with. How did you compartmentalize those experiences and how did it impact your future behavior? Doing this repeatedly will slowly build an image of your shadow and persona to work with when you are ready to do an actual casting. When it comes to casting shadow work spells, there are a few options: bindings, reinforcements, glamours, cleansing, and warding.

Thoughtforms

Thoughtforms are entities that are created through artifice, though they can be created accidentally or unintentionally. Thoughtforms are sometimes confused with the Buddhist term, “Tulpa” which, by definition and application is barely even comparable. Thoughtforms are entities that are programmed to perform a specific function or a small set of functions. It is possible for one to create a sentient thoughtform, however the amount of experience, time, focus, and effort required is vastly greater. Building a simple thoughtform requires only an anchor of some kind as well as a dedicated space and time. If the thoughtform is to have a body or form, it is highly recommended to possess at least a basic understanding of energy work- specifically about creating energetic constructs.

To begin creating a thoughtform, it is best to start by sitting down and planning on paper its function(s), appearance, limitations, restrictions, a name, and an anchor sigil. Once you’ve thoroughly planned out the thoughtform, energetically create it’s form. This can be done through visualization, however using actual astral senses for the energetic process would be more effective. Once you have created its form, it must be maintained while you imprint its programming into it. A method I like to use for this step is to stream energy into my head through the right temple, while meditating on the thoughtform’s functions, then pulling it out of the left temple before installing it into the form. This may take up to a couple hours to complete and may require starting over if focus is broken. It is important that you have the anchor sigil dedicated to memory, so that the image of it can be implanted as well. It is recommended that the sigil only be physically created a singular time, that way it is easier to destroy the thought form later on. It may also be beneficial to anchor the energetic form of the entity into a physical object made of glass or metal.

If you ever decide to destroy your thoughtform, you must destroy the anchor sigil and then work towards forgetting its name as well as its entire existence. Thoughtforms are primarily fed by the creator’s attention and interaction to it, but this isnt always the case. If the thoughtform is anchored into a piezoelectric crystal, then that anchor can be placed under pressure to keep the thoughtform alive. If the thoughtform you wish to destroy is anchored energetically to an object, then the object must be put through a banishing before cleansing it completely.

Thoughtforms are useful for applications in warding, divination, and spiritwork. They can also be used to deliver information, spells and protections to others. All that is required is a specific functionality.

Subconsciously created thoughtforms (AKA Tulpa* in closed Buddhist and Taoist traditions.)

In instances of trauma or emotional hypertension, it is possible for the mind to create a thoughtform as a way to expel an emotion, experience, or memory from the mind. These thoughtforms typically are bound to whatever object the creator is latching onto for comfort. What differentiates these entities from intentionally created ones is that they don't have an initial form, rather they develop one as time passes. A lot of the time, these entities can manifest as emotional echoes (what most ghost encounters actually are) and will live on well past it’s progenitor.

When performing shadow work, it is important not to try to eject or remove aspects of the self, as doing so may generate a thoughtform; it also wouldn’t achieve an actual removal of that aspect. Thoughtforms created subconsciously or as a result of internal rejection of aspects of the self typically take on the traits and behaviors associated with the experience tied to that aspect. They also tend to have limitations that are also tied to these experiences. As an example, if a child were to be terrified of the dark, and consistently left alone in the dark, that child could create a thoughtform whose purpose is to instill fear. However its limitation would be tied to the child’s subconscious desire to be safe and would very likely not be able to do any harm to the child; and may even try to protect them in moments of strife. If this child were to have a stuffed animal, then this thoughtform would bind itself to this object, as it would be the closest thing to the child that regularly receives attention.

When dealing with banishing a subconsciously created thoughtform, the same steps must be taken; however, this can be extremely difficult, especially if the creator has been dead for a while, due to the anchor being unknown. If the anchor is unknown then a standard area banishing is recommended, followed by cleansing. Afterwards, if the entity is still present do not pay it any attention. Actively ignore it and never speak of it again. If after a few weeks it is still present, a spacial exorcism is definitely recommended.

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