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Hello listeners.

Dear Diary#3

This is the part 2 of what it is like. I new that he was talking shit bout me to those who “ care “ about him.

HOw am I suppose to feel about any of this. What are the appropriate thoughts I should have? What do I get out of this?

The child I had an hand in, in raising. In influencing, In shaping has sooo much to say when I give options to rectify. When I was addressed by the adults. All I heard was excuses.

I’m so glad That I’m able to feel as free as I want to be now. Now that he is leaving my house I can feel the calm that came before this man made storm. I brought this on to myself because I though that this guy was worth it. You see, people bring up the fact that he’s 18. But! When things are supposed to go his way, he’s a man and should have the liberties to do what it is that he wants to do.

To me! That Is straight bull shit. Yes I was on my own. A lot more than he was. He was sheltered more than me. But! This is the way the world is operating. I’m doing what I would call a merciful crulty. Although to me it’s not cruel. But if you aren’t me and do not know what It is that I know. You’ll see I’m being truly kind. This to me makes me feel Iike I’m Thano’s in the MCU. Where everyone thought he was the bad guy by how he went about his business. No! I’m not killing anyone . BUt! I am being hard on the young man because. All he knows is comfort. What happens to a man in the real world who only knows comfort. He becomes another mans bitch! Or even a woman’s bitch! And with that. Too be a woman’s bitch, to me, is worse! Because, most of all, women that is, have expressed. That’s not what they want. Not what they Value. Not what they, most..... importantly respect!!!

If a woman does not respect you. You have lost already. Men! They will always be around. You can always do something to make a man want you. The trick is, you just have to be consistent. But! Women! No! Because the world is so unnecessarily hard on them. They wont take less than, from any man. They will use you until they spit you out! This is why I’m hard on him. He’s a fool for that good, good. And yes it’s happened to him more than once. He’s an introvert. So he does not talk about his feelings. BUt! Only lets you know what he want you to know so he can use you to his benefit. Something I have seen in him and will continue to disconnect myself from him for! His mother will always be a mother. But! To me he’s a shitty person.

Especially when all you have to do is ask. I will no longer be willfully blind to the actions of those who are around me or involved in my life. I’ve developed a new love language and it is called consistency. If you are consistently being an amazing person to me. I will be to you. But! No longer will I do this fucking stupid Jesus shit where I see and Minimize what I see happening in front of me. This is what I think the young man has come to me to for. In writing this, I did not think this at all until I started to ramble like morning birds on a tired day in my head. Thank you for these thoughts today, Tumbler Diary.  

Dear Tumbler Diary

This to me, will always be a dream. I have been told by the Goddess of "self love" herself. That I would always have issues with love. I honestly do not know how to unravel that per-say. But! if I had to guess. I would say that the ball will always been my court and I have such an awareness that. I should always do what's best for me. & if I don't then the issue is mine, because I know better.

And like 23 year old me would say. "If you know better! Then you should do better"! Now I see that's not completely true. Then I spoke with the mindset of someone who did not have what he has now. I spoke with privilege and arrogance. I spoke like I knew everything. I also think that's why I'm still single. Because I think I know everything. I can also see how that's a major turn off. I myself am turned off by it. I can see how others are too.

When It comes to love I'm very delusional and I know I cannot be trusted. My head and heart are always fighting about what they want and what they need. The modern gay is too free and uneducated on how to court and love one another. We have many examples of how to fuck and have safer sex. But! not too many examples of how to love yourself or how to love the same sex or gender. How to have a successful healthy relationship. That's why I think we as gays and we as non whites have an issues. The stigmas and history surrounding homosexuality and What love is supposed to be. Even what main stream religion says how we’re to love in our organic environments. They won't let it happen. & if it does. Someone, somewhere for the sake or morals and beliefs. Sacrifices something! It does not always have to be grand or even a big sacrifice. But! There's always something given up.

One of the ways homosexuals sacrifice love is, by doing what’s expected of them. Listing to people who probably mean well, but don’t walk in the shoes of us. Happiness is the of the worse sacrifices to make. When stripped of it. Resentment and self loathing kicks in like over watered roots of any house plants. From the inside out it rots. It decay’s. Over time killing the person of all that would have and even could have made them better! Better people and bette for there community.

When I though I had found the love of my life. I was lost in desire. Love spells or attraction spells are dangerous because, they need to be done by people who are of sound mind. To me, if you do not have a strong foundation of self awareness, aware of your own imperfections and well as your blessings. Then you sorta cursed yourself to be with someone who you! Become dependent on.

One night in my early years of adult hood. I took it upon myself. With my half baked mindset. To cast into the universe to bring to me the qualities in a man that I hold dear and desired. This man was a man who had the eye of everyone. But! who came home to me! He was wealthy in love and energy. And yada yada yada. So I wrote these qualities down on a paper bag. Written in devil blood ink. On the night of a new moon of blessings. I took my deck of tarot. "This is where I fucked up" and placed the Lovers first followed by the Six of cups. Here! is where I FUCKED ME! and hard too. Followed by other suits. It was a while ago. So forgive for not giving too much detail. I had a red votive candle blessed and charged the night before. I placed it directly on my deck and anointed the space with Freshly cracked black pepper and willow leaves from Central Park. I love working with willow. And yes of course the tincture was blessed and anointed by HECATE. So not only did I call out to the Universe. I called HECATE too. Which was not really a good Idea. because I did not offer her the things I was supposed to. And back then I was depressed and was looking for a way of escape. In that time of my life. Sexual pleasure was my way out. "Who says being a slut isn't fun!"

Now! fast forward many years later A child of Yemaya and of the other Orisha, I know more now. Even better! I should have not only respected myself. But! my craft. Looking back now I can say I disrespected HECATE. writing this I see I have a debt to pay! She too has always been good to me. Blessed me with all wishes i asked for. Now, i take into account of how I cast spells and what for. Not all things can be completed with magic. But! It sure helps. Lol to be honest a natural love. And health and bountiful love will come to me. I just have to be sure to be ready for it. And welcome it with light and love in my heart, money on the bank and foundation so strong. That even when the earth quakes, moves and cries we are undisturbed and unaware of the fires that are outside our door!

serve your plate first before serving others.

He asked me when I fell in love with him and I knew it sounded dramatic to say the moment I saw him, so I told him this story of my grandma who had Alzheimer's- she forgot her name and the words for fruit and food, she forgot her address and how to use the washroom, all her life lost to the disease. The only thing she remembered was her son's name and when that began to fade, the one thing she always remembered was that she loved him, even in illness, even in insanity. She saw this 6 foot 2 man with a scrubby beard and she didn't know him but she said she trusted him, she asked him to hold her hand when she died. When does memory end and love begin? All I know is- she loved him before she remembered him.

-Ritika Jyala, excerpt from The world is a sphere of ice and our hands are made of fire

My Migration Part 1

I have been silent for the last few months because so much has been happening to me. Have So much to share, so many variations of my truths. Many that I like to share and so many that show how ugly I am too.

First I HAVE TO SAY THANK YOU! Thank you for still being here! reading my life's journey and stories that I express with you.

Secondly, I would also like to state that more stories are here to come.

For the last two or so months. I have been in the mode of should I stay or should I go. I Currently reside in a shore lined Studio apartment here in Yonkers. With very nice amenities. In my unit I have a washer and dryer as well, a garbage disposal. One I use very often and a Dish washer that I have yet to touch. I pay for water and I never wanted to be tempted and or pay a very high water bill. I spike it often by washing loads and loads of laundry and lengthy showers.

When I returned home from my deployment, I had a need, a wanting a hunger to be with nature and to be a lone. I was always surrounded by people. But! mostly people who didn't get me or that were not my type of people. Add on to that, a base where I'm in the middle of no where. Just sand and the hot sun. Along a sea of people who burn when the planet faces the sun. it's always something that was bothering me. Always something that effected me. If it wasn't a micro aggression, It was a macro one.

For the sake of not repeating myself. I choose to live here in Yonkers because I felt that It was time to leave. Time to be free and branch out from the city and see what else my state had to offer. Even though It's just over a bridge or two. Now a year and a few months have gone and I have to leave. I have a hand of good times and a lot of rough ones. No bad, after all, all things are bout perspective. Right!?

I'm in a bit of a bind and this is the real reason as to why I am moving. I am short on funds and have to figure out how to manage my life. However the conclusion that I have come to is to just leave! Move with a bow of grace and probably rent a room . Not only am I having financial issues. I can't afford the new rates that have been set for where I live. Do I feel safe here!? That would be a relatively yes. Am I at peace when I come home to rest me head, no! And that has much to do with my surrounding environment. Commonly called, my neighbors. The building is made of wood and not concrete. Which I have to tell you is absolutely madding. I hate that I can hear them breath through their feet. The sound quality of the building is terrible. I never thought that in my many years of living. Sound would be the one thing to annoy me the most as an adult.

The sound quality is so bad that when I see people in the building looking to rent I tell them the absolute truth. Without omissions, Unlike what happened to me when I signed my lease. Other than the sound quality. I have to say I like that it's not 10,000 people or so who live here. Just a few hundred. There are two gyms and not everyone uses them. But! The pool, the pool it’s always full. There I stay away, besides the pool is shallow. If you were to look at me you can tell I need something big and something deep. Shallow was never my for take.

With all this said and done. I just need to figure out what my next move is going to be. I greatly dislike they they hav e placed me in this position. I mean aren’t they getting enough money with me being in the unit. I have to say this greed is so annoying. Like I’m already paying this money. I strive to not be a petty practitioner. But! I feel I need to cast against them. His response when I told him what I’m now sharing with you guys was that, “ He needed to put the unit for market value” I just gave home the saltiest look. Like you’re already getting paid!!!! His other response was “If I were to bring in someone new, I would market the unit at $2.200” that’s a big difference. Not to mention living here feels as if I’m paying a mortgage. This is super inconvenience.

To be continued……….

A little bit of this! A little bit of that

I have to say that I'm doing a bang up job of overwhelming myself here. I thought that I would have, a lot more down time than I did. Well no! This is not true! As an ARMY cook with my first deployment I had a full team of people who are. Like minded and knew what I knew so the job was not as difficult as it is now!

Now! I have a team but they are contractors who are not American, that are from all over the world. And these are people who are not aware nor do not care about our American culture. So when it comes to food quality or how a dish is made. It's all about getting the job done!

I had to stop one of them from killing us with salt the other day! He used a teriyaki concentrate on one of the meats and I lost my shit! I'm borderline hypertensive. So usually I watch what I eat. One of the things I cannot eat, is surprisingly BBQ sauce. The Amount of salt thats in there is truly crazy to me. Part of my job in the kitchen is to ensure that the food is up to par and that its eatable. But! I'm not the type to make sure that you can just! consume it! Which separates me from the straight men here! They fucking kill me with there sub standards for things that are rather serious. Vers little things like there toys. AKA weapons.

However, I began to get bored with the menu. When you eat weeks and weeks of the same shit, it gets boring really quickly and since well.... I'm the food manger here! I get a say in what happens. I get to deviate from this terrible subpar menu created by a guy who considers cooking "ordering food." Yuck!

The Team that I work with are a team of 5 guys. lol Yes five guys. Not the burger joint but a team of physically small men! which is kind of weird. B/c all of the American men, including myself are gigantic. I'm a wopping 230 pounds and 6'1 . While the average hight among them are 5'4. I do at times feel bad when I get upset with them because they physically look like children to me. But! come on! You can literally taste how salty it is! Then, I had to take a really good look in the mirror and remind myself that not everyone is as aware as I am.

In my years of cooking i had to learn what people do! As in what people do on their down time effects them int here personal life. so if a person works out, they are more likely to be proactive in some areas where physical needs are needed. If a person is artistic, and they paint write and draw on their downtime. That effects how they view the world and will see reality from a more cynical harsh perspective. which at times can create a hostile or rough environment. But! this guy says he has been working in food service for over 2o years. yes! 20 years. which i was surprised by. For a man who's so small and that resembles a child. he's older than I am. I'm currently in my early 30's. but! Him! no he's pushing 50 something. Which is weird as to why he could not taste the salt in the food.

Now! don't get your panties up in a much! Pull them out your asses, he's not the 50 year old who looks, acts or moves his age. So if I say I get on him. It’s because of professional reasons. Not every elderly person is that image of a bag of sand.

What I happen to realize is that, his habit on and off of work is that he's a smoker! Which I should have picked up on from when he smiles. I need to stop giving people the benefit of the doubt. Quick tangent. I one time went over my god mothers house to hang out with her. I happen to be in the kitchen waiting for her to com e out of the bathroom and her man at the time was cooking himself some ramen noodles. So! If you have ver cooked that 25 cent packet of death you know that the little pouch of seasoning it comes with is salty enough. So no! her man adds one of the little red pouches to it along with some soy sauce. Yes soy sauce. I tried my best to hold back the " What the fuck are you doing" look on my face.

I had to ask though. Well...... state that it looks well seasoned. lol he laughed and said he can taste it that way. I figured that it was because of his diabetes. But! he's not the only smoker who has made food that I have seen, over salt things. So in the end when I realized that I had to let him know that he could not use the teriyaki concentrate the same way he uses ketchup. that it needs to be diluted with water. & that I did not care how he used it before, but while i'm here he's not going to do that! because hat they do not realize is that there's a pecking order here! & when the food is good or bad, I get the blame and I get the praise. Not them. I tried t be humble but! they say I make a difference here so I'ma just run with it.

IM OK WITH BEING THE VILLAIN!!!

One of the things that life seems to keep me on my toes about is that not all people are going to like you. Thats kind of obvious at this point. But! What is not obvious is that people wont like you just for the sake of not liking you!

I have come to the understanding that, people have this notion, I have probably said it before in another post that. People really do think that the world is supposed to operate the way they perceive it to be. That the world is a one size fits all case. Which, we should know by now that it is not!

I bring all of this up because my sister recently had a conversation about me with some other family members. In a vague dismissive kind of way but in a way! I have a very short fuse when it comes to people I trust and I fuck with. These family members and I have burned bridges, each of us on our own side with one another. And well! It is what it is.

ON November 14th I had found out that my great aunt had passed way! She and I had a very good understanding about one another. Or! At least this is what I think. She was born in the 60's and grew up in the 70's and raised children in the 80's and late 90's. Which this means she had seen the epidemics that effect Harlem and other places in America. Although she is my great aunt I knew her as my aunt. The ranking system in my family is a little messed up. I'll probably discuss that in another post.

Knowing who my aunt is, it greatly saddens me that she's no longer here with us. As a spiritualist, I don’t grieve for her in ways that other people do. I grieve because I know she must have been lost and sad and scared in her transition over. Well, it was more of a…….I know she has rather than a must have. Earlier that day I decided to paint a picture of a bear. On my down time I like to practice my watercolor painting.

I was scrolling though the gram and I happen to see an oil painting that I really like and though that I could do it in watercolor. try my skills out. Sharpen them.

Once I was able to go my little room and started sketching the bear. I felt this magnetic pull. I just assumed that it was me bing hyper focused. Or! That I was inspired by (Keisha) the stray abrasive cat that meows so loudly outside the defact. But as I sketched, the magnetism grew stronger and stronger and I would see is my aunt in my head. I thought that she may have been talking that stuff about me.

The falling out that I have with my great aunt goes way back to when I was homeless. Which I do think is very petty. I was house hopping at the time and had very little to myself. I was depressed and defensive and trusted no one and took whatever help I could at the time.

I felt abandoned and very unloved. which is why I love my spirits and the Orisha. These two power house has had my back so much and has gotten me through so many dark times in my life that I'm just like. I love you more than the members who are alive. Having this deep spiritual bond and connection. Means that for my safety, things are known about people. Information becomes extremely clear. So that no matter what I was never caught off guard by anyone. I'm not blaming anyone or anything. I'm mearly stating facts about my spiritual experience.

As I started the actual painting. I looked over and decided to use my gouache paint over my watercolor paints. The good stuff. So I started to paint and I just began to make it more and more detailed. Moments after, I get a call from my sister stating that I was right! That my aunt had died. (I had told my sister that I sensed DEATH and that I had thought it was my great Aunt)

I knew my aunt like to dabble in things that were no good for her. I also knew that she was a women who needed help, therapy and concealing. Don’t get me wrong, She was not one of those people who you could not have around you. She was. She was very much so the life of the party. She would make you laugh and had a way of bringing you in to her energy. It was sad to know that this light of hers had been put out. And the fact that It was done by her own hand bothers me.

Who KNEW!?

So I just had found out that Bumble bee have five eyes. Thats fucking crazy!

So like I start most of my mornings. I wake up to the the blaring sound of my phone alarm. Which I do believe adds to my stress of not being my full self. Oh how I miss not having any responsibilities. I wish I could share the boat load of things with a person who loves me.

I phrase my statement this way because there are so many people who fake being in love. i just rather have people love me way more than I love them.

I'm a good guy, but not a nice person. And no! I will not elaborate nore explain. It takes so much from me being responsible. I fucking hate it. But! When I'm not in a leadership position or have anything to do. I feel as if I'm supposed to be doing something. I feel so weird about it.

Any who, I happen to wake up because of my alarm and wanted to paint something. I have a tattoo that I'm getting on the 6th of this month. it's gonna be pretty. I'm having flowers and all sorts of pretty things. I'm getting a garden on my arm. So one of the things a garden has are insects. Wiyh all of thi being said. I was watching garden videos so I could get a better idea of what should be in my tattoo.

and boom! I see this awesome garden video and the gardener, zoom into a close up of the bee. and I was like ughhhh!!! What the fuck! Is tat a mutant bee? and nope! Its a normal bee. They do not just have two really big eyes, they also have 3 tiny ones.

This makes me sad because, now, when I look at them. They look like spiders. And in my head spiders look FUCKIN ugly. and now I have these crazy ass looking creatures on my arm. It's a fucking lie, A lie I tell you. A lie, I just wanted to vent about how all my life, I have loved these creatures... and they, they..... they look nothing like how I thought them to be. I mourn fo my memories.

KNOWING WHEN TO SAY WHEN!!!

I say knowing to say when in the tittle because. I'm still learning this. Hopefully you all can get some help from this or even advise me on this too.

When I was a Gaybe = Gay baby. I would use humor to have people over look my homosexuality. It was my way of feeling safe in other peoples presence. Little did I know there was no such thing. I have learn that they just tolerated me. A feeling I wish on no one. A feeling of, I'm only here because you feel like dealing with me at this moment. I bring this up because of the first valuable life lesson that I learned was. To not allow my loyalty to enslave me.

What I have noticed about myself is that. I like to stick with what I know and with what I am comfortable with. And part of that for me is loyalty. It's a quality I truly value in people. Something I was shown very little of as a child and in my early 20's.

I noticed that I was a giver. I would give my time. My energy, my love. My. Almost everything. To me, this was being loyal. What I had not known was that I lacked boundaries. I lacked self awareness and self love. You see my mother since the age of 8 has been telling me that she could not wait until I was 18, so she could kick me out. That I was a problem child and what not. I use to feel bad about being male. She would get mad at me for not doing traditional male things but she pushed men out of my life. So how was I supposed to do. How was I supposed to KNOW!!!

Little did she know, I knew. That she was not really mad at me. But mad at my father. I looked just like him! I looked like a spitting image of that man. For that I believe she did not want me or love me the way I needed to be. Because of what ever issues those two had with one another.

I also know that my father was a whore. I mean, I cant blame him. He was handsome as fuck. Still kind of is. My father is a quarter french a quarter Puerto Rican and fifty percent Blacktino. My father is a sexy pasty man. lol When people look at me they think I'ma mulato. Part Black and part White. No latino, but there are those of us who can Identify me. Which always made me feel good about myself.

So going back into this " SAY WHEN!" Business. These experiences that I had. With my mother and the guest appearances from my father. Has let me know how much value I had to them. This is how, in my opinion, children start to form their Identities. Thus, where Loyalty has become a pillar I look for in other people.

However, what I lacked and were cracks, created in this pillar was "CONSISTENCY." Can you continue to be a loyal person to me. On this journey, I looked for love of a mother and love from friends. And I had found it. Or so I thought........ to be continued!!!

WHATS WRONG?

Absolutely........ Nothing, nothing is the matter. For the first time in decades I have felt normal!!!! Ok, OK, Ok, I have to admit, with some help of a quarter of a 100 MG eatable. I feel great!!

Today I was not feeling my best. I had been on a CARNIVORE DIET for about a week now.

But!!! I just ended it today. I just dontbhtink that it is for me. I had notice that my poop was very tiny and I looked extra bulky. My breath started stink. And when I sweat, from like walking for a long distance. I smelled like deli meat. "JUST TOO FUCKING GROSE." If I were around the gays, I'm sure some one would have been very turned on.

I say this because when I would take off my clothes at the end of the night to take my nightly shower. I smelled so much like a masculine man. And yes I was turned on my own smell. But! walking around the city and doing my job. I hated how my inwardly smell, smelled. If that makes any sense. Like as if I could smell inside out of myself.

Any who that was not what I went on that diet for. I tried the diet just to see if there were any differences in my social behavior and physical feeling when working out. And yes! There was! I did not feel hungry for most of the day. I did have more energy. However, I have noticed that I have been being more aggressive to people. In stature, conversation and in social cues. Almost as if I'm initiating aggression. I think that eating a high protein diet, did dramatically increased my testosterone levels.

After all, this is how the early man did eat. Wit all that being said I stopped today because I listened to my body and it was craving greens and I just had to listen. I notice that my stomach has gone down and I'm farting a lot more, I'm sorry, I know too much info. However, all of this is a good thing. I think.

Albiet, I have been focused on what It is that I feel that I have been lacking. But! tonight! I feel like I have found a new sight. A new way of looking at the world. And yes! There's some non conventional thing thats helping me view the world in this capacity.

For the last seven years, I have had some what of a sense of normalcy. But I work too much to feel it. But before my current "securing" career, I had been struggling like a ugly bitch tryin to look in the mirror without breaking it. Almost impossible, right? But now a days, they have the confidence of a rhino in a tutu, how? I have no Idea.

Just as crazy as my analogy is, is how I managed to pull some things together. For the longest time, I had struggled with the wave. The wave of couch surfing. Surfing in friends and families houses. Until I Finally listened to what people had to say to me. My Egun!

When I was surfing, I did not have structure. I had no real sleeping schedule. I had no real security in my life. I had to eat until I felt full. I was rocking 3 different pairs of shoes. And these shoes were three different styles. One pair was an everyday wear that no matter what style I Rocked I pulled together. The 2nd pair was an athletic look. A pair I could do some running with but also, had a sporty feel to it. And last but not least was the 3rd pair, which was more of a shoe than a sneaker.

Today, I had pulled together a look that was so simple yet so cute. I wished I had pulled a picture together and snapped a photo of it.

As a matter of FACT LET ME TAKE SOME RIGHT NOW!!!!

( YELLOW GOOD FELLOW SHIRT)

(LEVI'S 36/34)

(LIGHT WEIGHT BOMER JACKET)

(PALLADIUM BOOTS)

For me this is all important because I used to be some form of a sex worker. I noticed that most young gays tend to lean in to that life for a little bit because it's a sure way to get your basic needs met! For me, I Had no clue what to do. But I knew that that was one way of getting hat I needed. I did not intend to do it. I literally just happen to do it. I fell in to it.

SO! Me wearing these clothes, help me see, my self progress. When I see these clothes here. I don't see a struggling hungry person. Who’s willing to do some things just so he's not cold or hungry. The world is not nice to young men. It's definitely a dog eat dog world out here. I now wear a 36 waist instead of a 32. I wear a large to an Xtra Large shirt.

I have never been so proud of myself. For those of you who don't understand men sizes. I use to be a size 12 in women jeans and I dropped down to a size 2 going into a zero. Thats how skinny I used to be. People often confused me for a bald headed tranny. Tall skinny and fem. With some meaty parts but mostly bones.

Tonight I felt like a main character. Which fo rme is such a big deal. bevause I had been living my lid=fe like a side character. I should et an award for best supporting role. bevause honey. When I tell you!!!! The way I have been there for so many any bitches.

"YES! EVERYONE IS BITCH OT ME. & YES! MEN ARE BITCHES TOO"

I have not been this so unbothered since High school. I have money. A bed to rest my head in. Work thats a different kind of danger. And I am well fed. I nothing to bitch or complain about. If I were to take pictures and show you how many clothes I have. How many shoes, bags and regular accessories. You'd think you were in some form of Boutique.

I just wanted to share some things with all of you and get all of this off my chest. It had been so long for me to say, I feel safe now!

I also think that one of the reasons as to why I feel so good is because I am being crowned YEMAYA.

Mother, Ocean Orisha. Even though she is a river deity. We happen to work with her at the oceans here. So if any Nigerians are reading this. lol First off. Hiii, and 2ndly Welcome. 3rdly I'm sorry, I know over here in the States we do things differently than what you guys do over there.

On Nov 15, I am going in. Getting the deed finally started after 15 years of being an apprentice. learning and growing. I too, will now be a full priest OF the religion. And for those of you who don't know. It's Santeria!! "Mafede-Foon Yemaya!!!"

There's just so many good things happening to me in my life. I have to say thank you. Thank you to my spirits. Thank you to the Orisha and thank you to GOD. Thank you ALL. Well. I'ma go tot bed. Good night to all.