Being Born Into An Overweight Family Is A Burden You Carry With You Your Whole Life. You Learn Unhealthy

being born into an overweight family is a burden you carry with you your whole life. you learn unhealthy eating habits from a young age. you learn to look for comfort in food. you learn to eat when you’re bored. you’re surrounded by diet talk and diet books and you know what keto is by age eight. your own family tells you that you need to lose weight. they treat you like me of them, telling you things like: “*we* need to lose weight, huh?” even though you’re a child and they’re the ones who taught you those habits in the first place. you’re treated as if you’re greedy compared to your skinny cousins, once again, even though you’re a child and all you know is this. and when you finally start losing weight they praise you and ask for tips and all of a sudden you matter. they don’t know that you’re starving yourself and it wouldn’t matter anyways. all that matters is that you’re finally being fixed. they watch and observe you like you’re some kind of wild animal, because this is so different than the greedy, fat version of you that they’ve decided that you are. and now every day is centered around weight loss. and when you finally get to your goal weight every day will be centered around maintaining it and making sure you don’t fall back into the habits that your own family pushed onto you. every day of your life is centered around food and weight loss and it always will be. you’ll never know what it’s like not to have that voice in your head.

111 things to do instead of eating

go on a walk

drink water

clean your room

reorganize your bookshelf

learn to draw/draw something new

learn to knit/crochet

apply for jobs

do yoga

paint your nails

do laundry

do your makeup

take a nap

design a new phone layout

change your bedsheets

skincare

wash the dishes

read a book

deep dive into a niche topic

go to the mall

online window shopping

clean out your closet

meditate

do online quizzes

play coolmathgames

empty your email inbox

make a bullet journal

scrapbook

plan a fake vacation

look at expensive houses on zillow

do your duolingo lesson

make a mood board

sing karaoke

learn an instrument

burn a cd

make hyper specific playlists

bake things to give away

go swimming

make a funny powerpoint presentation

watch movies

start a new tv show

listen to a podcast

hang out with friends

paint something

make decorations for your room

make stickers

write a book

learn to sew

upcycle clothes

make a bucket list

write a diary

look at thinspo

start a youtube channel

start a podcast

do a puzzle

plan out outfits

make a collage

scroll tumblr

learn a new sport

make a new friend

study

do your homework

watch a video essay

do pilates

take a bubble bath

create a website

create an aesthetic ed journal

watch diet vlogs

watch mukbangs

make a style book

make a tiktok

learn origami

learn morse code

learn scratch coding

write media analysis

play geoguesser

plan your meals

dust everything

learn a dance

do a coloring book

update your resume

clean your car

find a pen pal

clean your makeup brushes

try new makeup styles

make a tier list

write love letters

make slime

call a relative

start a free course

critique old philosophy

plan your dream house

learn how to invest

go grocery shopping

make an amazon wishlist

scroll twitter

brush your teeth

write a poem

stretch

listen to asmr

do some manifesting

go to the library

play just dance

play random free steam games

make some tea

play with your pet

go people watching

start a garden

go for a drive

do some volunteering

play a board game

have a photo shoot

it feels so good though

My stomach hurts ughhh

i binged yesterday so so badly.

i’m at work (i’m a waitress and we get free food) and i’m trying to fast for 48 hours. i’m not even hungry i just want food.

i don’t need it. i don’t need it. i don’t need it. i don’t need it. i don’t need it. i don’t need it. i don’t need it. i don’t need it. i don’t need it. i don’t need it. i don’t need it. i don’t need it. i don’t need it. i don’t need it. i don’t need it. i don’t need it. i don’t need it. i don’t need it. i don’t need it. i don’t need it. i don’t need it. i don’t need it. i don’t need it. i don’t need it. i don’t need it. i don’t need it. i don’t need it. i don’t need it.

i look big in big clothes. i look big in everything

Oh, to look petite in baggy clothing..

just weighed in at 75kgs/165lbs and not weighing in until october 31 and i’m NOT binging on candy. fuck “enjoying your halloween”. enjoy your halloween without stuffing your face.

saw this n i just might? could be fun or it could make me wanna kms??? who knows ☺️