Suga - Indigo

Suga - Indigo

6/7 (Check out other colours/members here)

Jin - Orange

2/7 (Check out other colours/members here)

It’s Pretty Silly But...

I’ve been forcing my elder sister to watch “The Tale of the Nine Tailed” with me; which she doesn’t find interesting at all and I realized that she’s just like Yeon as a sibling whereas I’m like Rang.

Here’s why I think like that,

My sister and I are inseparable. We share a bond like no other. We are both the same kind of crazy. And I think our craziness has made our connection stronger. I won’t go into details but I think you get it.

Anyway, now the thing is, we almost always watch movies/tv series together. We interpret them in our own ways, make theories, fanfiction etc. together. That’s a part of our friendship.

But since she had to move to the University campus for 2 months (this was the very first time we had to stay apart), I felt her absence almost all the fricking time. For the first time in my life, I’ve realized how clingy I am to her.

It was between those times, I’ve watched “The Tale of the Nine Tailed”. I’ve already mentioned that we both are kinda obsessed with fictional worlds. So, I’ve immediately fell for Lee Rang and I couldn’t wait to share my feelings with her. I’ve waited everyday, thinking I’ll watch it together with her again when she’s back.

Now she’s back and I’ve been practically begging her to watch it. And after many emotional blackmails she half heartedly agreed. The problem is, it doesn’t feel like the way I’ve imagined. I can’t really explain all my thoughts (mostly feelings) to her as openly as I did before. She can’t relate to anything and she is really hating it.

I have to persuade her to watch every single episode. We had watched till episode 8 and she is still not liking it. And I’m kinda tired of forcing her.

Can you see the parallels? I think you do. I’m so fucking pathetic like Lee Rang. STUPID ME...

Henceforth, I totally love Suga

Today, I discovered the rap songs “First Love” and “The Last” by Suga (Agust D). And I swear to God, I cried. Never in my life I imagined the lyrics would be so deep and the emotions so raw.

The Last: At first, let’s talk about “The Last”. I have known that Suga had a troubled relationship with his parents. I could only imagine how hard his childhood had been. Hats off to Suga for being too brave to write about such a hard time of his life so vividly.

How he had struggled with depression, OCD and anxiety at such a young age, how his own parents never understood him, how he had self doubt to the point of comparing himself to a monster, how he had survived (I dare say) attempted suicide and finally how he had masked it all out with his cold posture.

Imagine going through such a tough time and confronting it. Including such details about his own life in a song was really brave of him and he had owned all my respect for that. I’m really happy that the song ends with a little bit happier tone where Suga assures us that he is doing okay now.

First Love: Though in the beginning I thought it would be a romantic song about his love life, the first line of it changed that immediately. It was about him falling in love with music which is metaphorically presented by the image of a brown piano.

Music was always by his side and had helped him fight against all the problems. So basically, music was like a coping mechanism for his troubled life. Due to this passion he had found in music he was finally able to overcome every hard situation and became who he is today.

This is probably the best rap song I’ve ever heard in my entire life. It was so beautiful that I cried without any hesitation. Even seeing Suga performing it live on stage, struggling to fight back tears, broke my heart.

I am grateful to Suga for giving us these songs. I really hope he finds peace within himself and live the best life for more days to come.

Wings, album by BTS

Note: I am a baby Army. I recently discovered BTS Wings album and I think it’s phenomenal. This album is what you call art. Apart from the hyped Blood, Sweat and Tears, I think each member’s solo songs were great too, since they were too personal to them.

1. Begin

“When you cry, I want to cry instead”

How surprising it was when I found out that Jungkook said his only struggle in life was seeing his hyungs’ suffering. It proves two things: 1. Jungkook is selfless and 2. His hyungs’ are caring. I love their bonds so much more now.

2. Lie

“The me from before is still here but the lie that’s gotten too big is trying to swallow me up”

Let me first appreciate this song’s music and Jimin’s angelic voice. It gave me chills down my spine. And when I saw the lyrics I totally fell in love. Jimin’s struggle to express his true self while this whole world expects him to be perfect is something we can all relate to.

3. Stigma

"Are you calling me a sinner?"

Stigma; a mark of disgrace. Probably the most mysterious song of the album, it has some deep meaning which can be interpretated in many ways. I personally think it has something to do with Taehyung hurting his siblings in some ways. Hence producing the song as an apology to them.

4. First Love

“I will get to meet you again no matter in what form, greet me happily then”

This was the first song I heard among these seven. And believe me when I say this, I literally cried. Falling in love with music had saved Suga at the most difficult time of his life. I wish I had something like this to hold on to.

5. Reflection

“I wish I could love myself”

Who doesn’t love themselves? That’s a statement we are all used to. But if we think carefully, it should be the other way around. Once we grow up and see the fault within, we slowly start to hate ourselves, don’t we? Namjoon can really make the most relatable lyrics.

6. Mama

“You are my eternal placebo”

It was so heartwarming to experience something so beautiful, as the relationship between Hoseok and his mother, through this song. No wonder Hoseok has such a motherly aura around him.

7. Awake

“I can't fly like the flower petals over there”

Jin really went through a phase thinking he was walking while the other members flew like flower petals. He was always underrated and people failed to see the talent inside him. I can tell, Jin’s thoughts are far from the truth.

When We Were Young

This is for you, my dearest friend @tanikas-world-of-art​. I hope you get better soon. Let me know if you want some more of this.

My nerves were wracking as I waited on the carriage. The road seemed longer than I remembered. “Is it the road? Or is it my heart that has been longing for him for such a long time?”

Dorian and I were neighbours and inseparable when we were little. Whenever one of us would go missing, it was assumed that they would be found in the other’s place. Dorian would never eat unless with me. He would trust me with every little secret of his. In a whole, he was too clingy and very dear to me.

Everything was neat until his grandfather sent him away to the boarding school and I was taken to Sussex to my grandmother’s house where I was trained to become a lady. My heart shattered into pieces. I missed Dorian every single day growing up and I was pretty sure he did too.

It had been ten long years. Finally, I was going back to London to meet him and I could not wait any longer.

“Lady y/n, we’ve arrived.” I jumped out of the carriage as soon as the driver announced our arrival.

Dorian was waiting outside his house to welcome me. I could not believe what I saw in front of me. The evening air blew his hair. He had grew up to become the handsomest man I had ever seen. I looked in amazement.

“Well, well, if it isn’t my dearest friend.” Dorian’s beautiful face broke into a wide smile.

My stomach twisted. Butterflies were flying like crazy to make an escape. My heavy heart started to beat up to my throat. Without a minute’s delay, I ran and put my arms around him. We both couldn’t help laughing.