My Top 3 Books Of 2022

My Top 3 Books of 2022

Happy Birthday to the only World Wide Handsome man I know

Christmas Special Fluffs

Fandom: BTS Pairing: OT7 x Female Reader Genre: Fluff Notes: It’s a collection of Christmas special one shots of each member in different situation with the reader (not poly). I know, I’m late. A lot of things were going on and I couldn’t manage to write. Sorry about that. Anyway, a very late Merry Christmas to you all...

Sweet Sorry - Kim Namjoon

My already messy apartment now looked messier than ever. As I looked at my tired boyfriend on the couch, I regretted to have agreed to his plan of decorating my place for the Christmas.

“Ugh” Namjoon groaned, “my back hurts so much.”

“Don’t forget that it was all your idea.” I reminded him.

Namjoon shook his head, “I didn’t think your place was such a trash.”

“Well, you can’t blame me.” I shrugged my shoulders, “At least, I warned you.”

I sat down beside him and put my head on his lap. I could feel that my body ached too. Namjoon started to play with my hair. It was one of his favorite things to do.

I looked up at him, “Or we could stop if you want.”

“No, darling!” Namjoon smiled, “Like I had promised, we’re going to make this place look like a heaven.”

And we were back at work; dusting and cleaning the floors, walls, ceilings, windows, arranging the misplaced items, collecting the dirty laundry from different corners of the house, putting the books back to the shelves etc.

A short break. Then, we started to work on the decorations. It was my first time decorating a house for Christmas and my excitement was too much. We made the bed with white and red bed sheets, put different flowers and wreaths all around the place and hung special items on the wall.

Finally, it was time for the best thing among all, decorating the Christmas tree. We put on the fairy lights around it, hung little gingerbread men and other cute items on it and lastly, we needed to put the biggest star on top of it.

“It’s too high. I can’t reach it.” I said, “And also, I don’t have a ladder.”

“But you have me.” Namjoon said with a smile.

I thought he meant to do the job himself as he was much taller than me. But instead, he lifted me up, holding me firmly by my waist. His cheesiness was making me blush. I still managed to set the star in the perfect place.

Taking a look around the place, I was really satisfied with the result. My place had turned to a whole different one. It looked like a heaven indeed. But as soon as my eyes rested on the tree, I frowned.

“Something’s missing.” I said.

Namjoon looked at it’s direction, “What?”

“Of course,” I gasped, “the glass baubles.” I facepalmed myself to have forgotten about my favorite piece of decoration. I looked at Namjoon, “Could you please bring it for me? It’s in my closet.”

Namjoon went straight to the bedroom. As he was returning with the box full of red and white glass baubles on his hands with a smile that showed his dimples, I remembered just how much I loved him.

But the next thing he did was tripping and falling to the floor along with the box full of red and white glass baubles. The smile that had grown on my face earlier disappeared within a second as I heard the glasses being shattered inside. I remembered just how much I hated his clumsiness sometimes.

“I’m so...” Namjoon began but I cut him off.

“Don’t speak.” I said boldly. “It’s done anyway.”

I raged out of the living room and sat down on my bed. I realized I was very exhausted by all the works I had done this evening and I just wanted to sleep. I tried to clear my head. I didn’t want to think of the disaster that just happened.

I could hear Namjoon cleaning up the mess outside. It sort of broke my heart. Minutes later, he peaked into my room. I still couldn’t bring myself to say anything. He came to sit beside me and said, “I’m sorry.”

“I know.” I answered.

He placed a soft kiss on my cheek and said again, “I’m sorry.” It was one of my favorite things that he did. I still didn’t budge.

He kissed me once again and said, “I’m really sorry, darling.” He was whining like a little child at this point. And I couldn’t help but laugh. Namjoon’s worried face beamed with relief.

“Alright!” I said, “I think we can go one Christmas without glass baubles.”

Grandma’s Special Recipe - Kim Seokjin

I was weeping for the past few minutes as the nostalgia of my childhood hit really hard. Earlier I had found an old diary of my grandma while cleaning the house. There weren’t much personal but more like important business stuffs written on it.

But among them, I had found my grandma’s recipe for making the famous gingerbread house we used to make every Christmas. Reading that reminded me of my late grandma and our memories together. I couldn’t help but cry at the sudden overwhelming feeling in my heart.

My fiancé, Jin, came back from work at that time. As soon as he saw me he called, “Jagi!” I quickly wiped away the tears and tried to smile at him. I didn’t mean for him to see me like that.

He held me in his arms and asked, “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah!” I sniffed, “I’m fine.”

“What is it, jagi?” He looked at me again, trying to read my face. Then he suddenly gasped, “Oh my God!”

I looked up at him in confusion. He beamed with sudden joy and asked the dumbest possible question, “Are we going to have a baby? Are you pregnant?”

“What? NO!” I was shocked at his stupidity, “It’s just that I found my grandma’s diary and it reminded me of her.”

Jin just replied with an “Oh!”

I went back to my bed and held up the page of the recipe for him to see. He took the diary from me and checked it. The recipe was cut out from an old newspaper and there were hand written notes of my grandma everywhere, making changes where she had thought was necessary.

Jin let out a chuckle and said, “Jagi, this sounds like a lot of fun. We should try it this Christmas.”

I was so glad to hear that. “Really?”  I asked, “Do you think you can do that?”

“Of course!” Jin said with confidence, “Though I won’t say it will be exactly like your grandma’s one. But I will do my best.”

Even though I wasn’t very good at baking, I still tried to help Jin in every possible way. I bought the groceries myself and prepared all the necessary utensils needed for the procedure. I also promised Jin that I would do the dishes once everything was done.

Jin started to work, yelling me orders in between. But my mood was too good to be ruined by his little insults. I worked rather enthusiastically. I stirred the mixture on the stove, batted the dough, cut the little doors and windows, even helped Jin with the icing.

After hours of much works, it was done. The house had been decorated perfectly. It looked almost like my grandma’s. I clicked a picture before cutting the gingerbread house. At first bite, the smell instantly reminded me of older times, though the taste wasn’t exactly the same.

“What do you think?” Jin asked curiously.

“It’s great.” I nodded, “Thank you so much for doing this.” I wrapped my hands around his neck. “Tell me what can I offer you in return?”

“You know exactly what I want.” Jin smirked at me.

I gasped, “You mean, a baby?”

Jin gave me a warm smile and spoke, “Nope. I want you to do the dishes, instead.”

Peppermint Love - Min Yoongi

“So tell me, why am I finding it out just now and that too, from Hoba?” I could hear Yoongi from the other side of the phone call. His voice suggested that he was really annoyed.

Basically what happened was this; Yoongi was delaying his Christmas plan, which was to be with his family, because I had no one for my Christmas celebration this year. Since, it was our first Christmas after getting together, Yoongi wasn’t very happy leaving me alone. But I had forced him to go because his family had been planning for a special party and it wouldn’t look nice if their youngest son was absent there.

But the worst happened. I fell sick the day before Christmas. It was a seasonal sickness for me but still pretty bad, as always, to handle. The fever and the blocked nose wasn’t making me feel very Christmas in my lonely hours. Still, I didn’t want to spoil Yoongi’s mood. So naturally, I kept my mouth shut.

“I thought I could trust Hobi for once.” I said, equally annoyed.

Yoongi sighed. “Is it too bad?” his voice was soft now.

“No!” It was definitely a lie since I could feel that a headache was also added to my list of discomforts.

“You shouldn’t have forced me to come to this party.” Yoongi said, “I would rather be with you.” Before I could say anything he already hung up.

As the hours ticked by I realized how terribly lonely I felt. Yoongi was in a whole different city and my own family was at the opposite side of the continent. I was also hungry but wasn't in a shape to make anything for myself. So, I called the Pizza place near my house and ordered my favorite one, the pepperoni.

The bell rang. I had to get up from the bed and slowly head towards the door. My whole body ached even at the slightest effort. But behind the door, I didn’t meet the delivery guy but my boyfriend instead.

“Yoongi?” I was surprised.

He shook his head in mere annoyance and hold up the huge bags he was carrying on both of his hands. “Let me put this things down first.”

He went straight to the dining room and put the bags on the table. I still couldn’t believe it. Yoongi had driven more than a hundred kilometers road on the Christmas Eve and he left his family to be with me instead.

Yoongi turned to me and said. “Let’s eat the food before it gets cold.”

That was when I hugged him right away. Yoongi let out a sigh and a few seconds later, he embraced me into his arms.

I was overwhelmed by his presence in my lonely state. I took in the warmth and his familiar soothing scent. The smell of his perfume mixed with the after-shave was intoxicating.

I finally let go and informed, “But I’ve already ordered Pizza.”

Yoongi smiled, “A little more food during Christmas won’t hurt.”

The table was set and the hot food served. We ate and talked and laughed and cried out of too much laughter. It was such a merry time that I almost forgot I was sick.

But my fever rose at the end of the night and I was curled up in my bed, shivering. Yoongi touched my forehead to detect the amount of heat and frowned. Then, he went to the kitchen to prepare something special.

Peppermint tea, something I never quite liked. But as I had a cold and the tea was warm, I accepted it rather gratefully. A soft ‘thank you’ left my mouth as I took the cup from his hands. Yoongi sat beside me and watched quietly as I sipped my tea. I wondered what I had ever done to deserve this.

Wrapped - Jung Hoseok

Shopping for all of them who were coming to our Christmas party was exhausting. But the worse was wrapping them in gift papers by ourselves. Since it was our first Christmas together after we had moved in together, my boyfriend Hoseok wanted it to be a special one. And hand-wrapped gifts sounded special indeed.

“Do you have any idea how long we’ve been doing this, Hobi?” I asked, a little annoyance in my voice.

“C’mon, goldie!” Hoseok said in the cutest tone, “Don’t talk like that. We should be doing this with joy.”

“Joy, my foot.” I muttered.

“Uh-uh.” Hobi did another cute sound effect while moving his index finger side to side, indicating I shouldn’t have said that.

I didn’t respond. Instead, I walked out of the living room to my bedroom. I waited for a moment to see if Hobi followed me. When I was sure he had gone back to work, I did what I had been planning the whole evening to do.

I hid Hobi’s Christmas gift, a fancy watch, which I had bought secretly from the shop today, in his closet. So that, next morning he would find them himself while I’d be fast asleep.

Then, I went back to work along with my hard working boyfriend. We finished them all by midnight and arranged them neatly under the Christmas tree. Wishing each other merry Christmas and kissing goodbye, we went to bed.

“Holly Molly!” Hobi exclaimed in the morning and I woke up with a start. “What did my little bumble bee bought without me knowing, huh?”

I sat on the bed and smiled, “Check it yourself, my little sunflower.”

Hobi opened up the present, giggling like a little child. His eyes were shining when he saw what was inside.

“Did you like it?” I asked.

Hobi beamed at me and said, “What are you talking about? It’s fabulous.”

Everyone was busy searching for their gift and opening them. There was a lot of chaos among our family and friends. Watching them liking what we had got them, made me feel like it was all worth it.

“Hey!” Taehyung called me, “Here’s one addressed to you too.”

“For me?” I asked. At first, I was a little confused. But then, I realized that Hobi had planned to hid my gift among all the others. I took the small box from Taehyung.

Hobi hugged me before I could open it and whispered in my ears, “Merry Christmas, honey!” Inside the box was a ring. My head stopped working for a while. Looking back at Hobi, I almost teared up.

He was on his knees.

Sexy, Cutie, Lovely - Park Jimin

Christmas this year was full of snow. And there was no way we could step out of our house in this weather. So, Jimin and I had planed for a movie marathon night. Being the movie freak as I was, the job of selecting the best movies came to me.

You could imagine how pissed I was when Jimin started to act uninterested through the second movie. At first, he tried talking in between scenes. When I refused to join his unfitting conversation, he started to complain about how all the movies I chose were so boring, even though it was ‘Home Alone’ which we were watching at that time.

“You can go and sleep.” I said, “I’m gonna finish my boring marathon alone tonight. And I’m perfectly happy to do away with you.”

“What?” Jimin pretended to look cute while being shocked, “you’re abandoning me for these movies?” I gave a stiff nod and he started to whine and threw a tantrum like a child.

“Acting cute will take you nowhere, Park Jimin.” I stated flatly.

He put his head on my lap and said with a smirk, “But it took me to your heart.”

“Stop being a cringe and move out of the way.” I pushed his head.

After minutes of doing puppy eyes and pouty faces, when I still didn’t budge, Jimin walked away from me. But he was back within a minute wearing his night gown which I had commented he looked sexy in ages ago.

“What does it suppose to mean?” I raised one of my eyebrows.

“It means,” Jimin threw himself on the couch next to me dramatically and said, “I’m getting ready for bed.” The last word, he said in a whisper, clearly indicating the obvious.

I scoffed in reply and kept my eyes fixed on the TV. Jimin moved on the couch in a certain way to get closer and carefully snaked his hands around my waist. I knew what he was capable of doing to me. But I refused to give in.

I slapped his hand and said, “Stop bothering me.”

Jimin took away his hands, a frown growing on his forehead. Then, he walked away stomping his feet, muttering “Stop this! Stop that!” I almost laughed out loud.

After half an hour of watching the movie alone, I realized it was indeed boring. No offense to my all time favorite ‘Home Alone’ but I was missing Jimin beside me. I sighed and turned off the TV.

Jimin was already fast asleep. He looked like an angel in this innocent state of unconsciousness. I could look at him for the whole night and still wouldn’t get bored. I smiled to myself.

“My lovely Jiminie!”

You’re My Boy - Kim Taehyung

Apparently, five layers of clothes weren’t enough to keep you comfortable on a snowy night out on the street. I wasn’t foolish enough to have come out into the open at this time either. But unfortunately I had a boyfriend who was extremely stubborn. I knew, I wouldn’t be able to lift his mood up the whole Christmas if I didn’t come out to play with him in the snow just now.

So, here I was, struggling to throw a single snow ball at my childish boyfriend, who had been continuously throwing enough of them at me by which I could have built a huge snowman.

“Please!” I begged him as another ball hit my shoulder, “Stop it already. I’m so tired.”

Taehyung came running at me with a smile on his face. “You’re not fun to play with.” he tried to mock me.

“I know!” I huffed out, “Can we do something else? Something fun?”

Taehyung thought for a moment. Just before I could offer him to play a nice game of monopoly inside our warm room, he yelled in excitement, “Let’s make a snowman!”

“What?” I asked in disbelieve, “No way!”

But Taehyung always had his way. So, we were rather doing what he had suggested instead of what I had thought of even if mine was a rational decision anyone would have agreed upon.

Building a snowman was harder than it looked. I remembered to have done it when I was just a kid. Those times, I always had my sisters and parents to help me. The shapes were never right. Taehyung wasn’t satisfied with them at all and we had to rebuild it from the base every time.

Finally, we managed to make the perfectly symmetrical balls, the upper one half the size of it’s base. Taehyung nodded his approval and I sighed in relief. I was grateful that Taehyung let me do the most interesting works; putting the buttons, eyes, mouth and the carrot for a nose. I finished the final task perfectly and looked back at my boyfriend.

And there it was. The boxy smile. When my eyes stopped at his perfectly wide grinning face, I felt like the time had slowed down. The snow was falling rather dramatically. My surrounding suddenly looked more romantic than it did even a few minutes ago.

Taehyung looked at me and tilted his head in confusion. “Baby?” he called, “Why are you staring at me like that?”

I suddenly realized what I was doing. I chuckled and shook my head to let out those romantic thoughts away. I decided that the romance could wait. Instead, I let his inner child enjoy this rare moment for now.

First Mistletoe Kiss - Jeon Jungkook

Finally, the party was over and all the boring people left the house. When I had done my share of cleaning up, my mother allowed me to go to bed. I picked up my phone as soon as I reached my room and locked the door.

“Oh shit!” I swore. Five missed calls and a text! And all of them were from the same person; Jeon Jungkook.

Jungkook was my neighbor and I had known him for a year. I had liked him since day one. Little did I know that he had liked me as well until last week when he had asked me to be his girlfriend. Naturally, I said yes. But over the week, I got to know the Jungkook behind those doe eyes and bunny smile. He was quite stubborn and possessive in nature.

Five missed calls on Christmas Eve from him could mean disaster. I hastily checked the text.

“I don’t want to be that clingy boyfriend asking for attention when you’re having fun. So, I’m texting you instead. Merry Christmas.”

I got the tone of the message. Jungkook had a habit of always ending a text with calling me love. But he hadn’t done that here. Especially when it was supposed to be a merry Christmas text. That was not a good sign.

Since I had a pretty strict family, the fact that I had a boyfriend before I graduated high school was a secret. So, I checked whether my parents had already gone to bed or not before calling Jungkook right away.

“Wow!” I heard Jungkook speak, “You remembered me!”

“I’m so sorry. kookie!” I pleaded in a half whisper. “There were so many people. And you know my mother. She doesn’t allow phones in front of the guests.”

Jungkook remained silent for a while. Then he spoke again, “I wanna meet.”

“What?” I raised my voice unexpectedly, “You mean, now?”

“Yes!” Jungkook said, “Don’t you dare say no! I’m not going to bed without seeing you.”

I thought for a moment. Everyone was tired as hell. There was no way my mother would come to check on me at this time. I decided I would take this risk. “C’mon!” I told myself, “It’s Christmas!”

“Love?” Jungkook called.

“Meet me at the store.” I said, “And don’t forget to buy me Cheetos.”

Jungkook was waiting with a packet of Cheetos by the store door. A big smile spread across his face when he saw me. I gave him a quick hug and started complaining about how bored I was during the whole party and how much I had thought of him.

Jungkook kept on smiling and feeding me the Cheetos in between as I was too busy ranting about my misery. I stopped when I realized that Jungkook hadn’t spoken at all.

“Don’t keep staring at me like that.” I said.

Jungkook chuckled and said, “I can spend a whole lifetime hearing you talk.”

“That was cringey!” I said as I felt heat rushing to my cheeks.

“Look!” Jungkook pointed up to a mistletoe hanging above the store door. “It’s not every Christmas you get to stand under the mistletoe with your boyfriend by your side.”

I knew exactly what he meant. I was rather doubting if it was a coincidence at this point. The thought of Jungkook wanting a kiss from me sent a shiver down my spine. I looked down in embarrassment.

“Wait a minute!” Jungkook said, “Haven’t you ever kissed under a mistletoe before?”

“Actually,” I mumbled, “I’ve never kissed anyone before.”

A visible shocking expression spread on Jungkook’s face. When recovered, he cleared his throat, “Let me be your first, then.”

Carefully, he closed the distance between us. Then, he cupped my face on his hands and asked, “May I?”

When I nodded my ‘yes’, he gently kissed my lips. He let go and whispered softly, “Merry Christmas, love.”

My Masterlist

Noona! Please! Help! - Part 1

Fandom: BTS Characters: Younger Brothers BTS and Elder Sister Narrator Genre: A Little Dramatic and A Little Comedic Word Count: 1.7K Words Warning: Mention of BTS crackhead behaviors (I mean, why not? We all love their crackheadness), sickness, economic crisis, broken family, mention of emotional abuse, characters death etc. Note: It’s a siblings AU story of BTS with the narrator as their elder sister. I tried to write something different from what I usually write about. I had fun making this. Hope it makes you feel good too. Happy Reading Everyone :)

Summary: Her little brothers can’t attend to a single task without her help. Be it a dance competition or asking out a girl for a date, they always seem to be finding everything too hard to go through without her by their side. ‘Our lucky charm’; that’s what they like to call her. But what if she turns out to be a misfortune in different situations in one single day?

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - More to come

Prologue:

I always wonder when Ma said that she wanted a big family the day Pa had asked her to marry him, if she had really meant it like a family of ten people. But one thing was clear. Pa took her words to his heart and fulfilled her dream without compromise.

The struggle of being the elder sister of seven messy and chaotic brothers can be something impossible to even imagine. Especially if you are growing up in a household where both your parents are too sweet to ever scold their children.

I wish I could be that person who can easily punish her younger siblings when they misbehave. But alas! God had other plans. He made sure that my seven precious brothers were treated kindly by my parents to the point of being spoiled.

Now don’t get the wrong idea. My brothers are not all spoiled brats. In fact, most of them grew up to be gentlemen. At least, in front of the people that matters. But when they are home together with no one to supervise them, they are the biggest crackheads to ever exist.

Even if they give me headaches that are almost similar to that of the migraine pain my best friend suffers from (I said ‘almost’ because no pain compares to her evil migraine, trust me!) the moment I look into their eyes, I can’t bring myself to be mean. I think they have somehow mastered the art of creating the most innocent puppy eyes that melts my heart within seconds.

I think I am giving you the wrong idea all along. It's actually because I can’t express my frustration with my naughty angels in real life. So, it is making me pour out all the complaints here in texts all at once. Maybe it's time for a proper chronological introduction of them. And I will not make you wait any longer.

Kim Seok Jin:

The eldest and the handsomest, as he likes to be called, is none other than our Kim Seok Jin. “Just call me Jin. It sounds cool.” as our prince had once said. So, it had been maintained by everyone without a word. After all, he’s the hyung of the pack.

Three years younger than me, acts like the maknae more than the maknae does himself, Jin never fails to crack a joke at every family event. His sense of humor is unlike any other. No one would agree that his dad jokes are ever really funny. But you would never catch them not laughing even whenever Jin made one of his lamest jokes. My personal belief is that the mystery lies within Jin’s own laughing sound.

Kim Yoon Gi:

The only one who dares not to laugh, when the others are ready to roll on the ground, is our second eldest hyung, Yoongi. He even managed to come into this world as early as possible after Jin so that only nine months is their age difference.

My grandma used to tell a touching story of how my mother had lost her beloved cat during her pregnancy when she carried Yoongi. That’s how he ended up getting her cat’s name. Yoongi lives up to his name too. He looks like a cat, acts like a cat and I feel that he even thinks like a cat.

Kim Ho Seok:

Oldest by only seven minutes among the first set of twins mother gave birth to, Hoseok is the sunshine of our family. His bright spirit and reckless laugh puts everyone at ease. It is as if he had taken the responsibility of always keeping the good vibes in the family.

However, his angry side is just as scary. Nobody wants to deal with an angry Hoseok. Nobody! Not Jin, not me, not even Ma and Pa.

Kim Nam Joon:

Hoseok’s twin Namjoon is the brain of the team. Who said that it is always the middle child who gets ignored all the time? Namjoon proves every single one of them wrong. It is always Namjoon who comes to the conversation first whenever a relative of ours asks about us.

With all that demeanor like an older child, both physically and mentally, Namjoon still has a very childish side of him. That child is the God of destruction who breaks everything it touches. These contradictory qualities had earned him his nickname, ‘Giant-baby’.

Kim Ji Min:

The second set of twins produced Jimin as the oldest. Jimin, the comforter. Jimin, the lovely. And definitely Jimin, the flirt.

If cringe could be a person, he would be Jimin. He never shies away from his emotions. “Did I mention that I love you?” is something you would often hear him say. Even though others pretend to throw up at his words of affirmations, they have to agree that they can’t help liking it secretly.

Kim Taehyung:

Jimin’s soulmate, born with a face of a Greek God, Kim Taehyung runs the fashion industry in our home. “That lipstick doesn’t suit your eye makeup” , “The shoes made your whole fit cheap”, “Try to wear that and everyone will think you’re going through a breakup.” Taehyung doesn’t care to point them out.

Taehyung lives in his own world. Not in his mind exactly. I think it is an invisible world that coexists with ours. Because most of the time, we question his behavior and sometimes his sanity too.

Kim Jungkook:

The golden maknae, also the only one having a two years age difference with his closest elder hyung, is our bunny boy Jungkook. At first sight, everyone would think he’s the high school heartthrob. But once you get to know him, you’ll know how shy he is in front of strangers.

Whatever shyness he has in him, he uses them all outside our home. Because inside it’s always, “Party! Party! Yeah!” And that party is always him alone in his room doing karaoke till it's 3 in the morning. But who’s to scold him for that?

The reason behind each of their varying personalities, I believe, is because we grew up in different households as children. Is it even surprising? Do you think it is really possible for two people to take care of eight kids without help? The answer to this question may be a little complicated.

But my parents were determined to raise their kids by themselves so that none of them ever feels left out. And they did it too, for almost 8 years. But Ma fell ill right after giving birth to Jungkook. And Pa was having some financial crisis at the same time. As it has been said 'Bad things come in threes', Jungkook was born with some complications.

So, Pa had to focus on him and him alone. It was still hard for Pa to do it without Ma by his side. That's when I decided to take charge of taking care of the youngest while Pa looked after Ma and his business. I know I was only 8 years old at the time, but our situation had forced me to be more mature than that.

After some discussions on our wellbeing and the family's economic condition, Ma and Pa decided to keep Jungkook and me only. They told me that it was only for the time being and that they would bring everyone together as soon as they could.

Poor Jimin and Taehyung had no idea when they were sent to live with Granma and Granpa. I learned later that little Tae had continually cried for days and Jimin had grown too quiet for a two year old.

Namjoon and Hoseok were sent to stay with Ma's elder sister, her husband and her little daughter who was just about the age of the twins. As far as the report went, I'm positive that among all my brothers they got to stay a little happier away from home.

The one who suffered the most was probably Yoongi. Being too innocent for this world, Pa had failed to recognise how cruel his brother's behavior could sometimes get. Maybe growing up with an emotionally unavailable adult made Yoongi the most outwardly cold. Mind you that I said 'outwardly' because I'm sure if you can see through his heart, you will find something quite the opposite.

Jin stayed with Pa's sister who had been raising kids her whole life. All of her kids were older than Jin. So I guess it's easier to understand why Jin acts like a maknae all the time.

The idea of bringing them home 'as soon as possible' remained an idea. Because by the time Pa had somehow managed to get into a reliable position with his business, Ma was gone. And Pa had no other choice but to follow her.

Since it would be impossible for a 13 year old to be taking care of her 5 year old brother on her own, Granma decided to take us to her as well. So, we were reunited with Tae and Jimin in her house.

One by one, my little brothers turned 18 and built their own life. Even though I am now a full grown 25 year old woman I still couldn't leave my granma's house. And it is because I couldn't give up on being a parent to the youngest who has still not crossed the line of 18.

"Just wait for one more year and I'll grow up and thrive in this world." Jungkook says that quite a lot lately. Even though it might sound a little selfish, I wish my Jungkookie never grew up. So that I could keep him all to myself like I had been doing for the past 17 years of my life.

But there is a bright side of them finally turning 18. One by one the hyung line among my brothers started to get in touch with me more and more frequently. Finally, after years of separation, I truly feel like I'm getting to be that older sister that I had to be. And I'm happy that they are allowing me to be just that.

You might get a little confused as to why I had complained about them in the beginning of this story as if they were little kids I have to look after when I didn't even get to live with them for that long. Let me get you out of this confusion. It's because now that I finally get to be close enough once again, I realized one very important fact that applies to them all. My brothers haven't really grown up.

Next >

My Masterlist

》Be a Lady《

◇Free your mind◇

♡Be Yourself♡

Soulmates???

14 February, 2023 Approximately 2 in the morning

I woke up from a two hours sleep and couldn't force myself to go back to it (something of a bad habit I had grown since last month). I would walk around for quite some time, maybe chat with my mother if she's awake, walk a few more minutes, read something, write something, maybe walk again, check my phone, listen to music, etc. etc. etc.

It wasn't any different that day. I walked around the apartment and had many thoughts in my mind as usual. These thoughts turned into some real shits and at a point I was in a dreadful existential crisis. Music, being my friend at times like this, was an escape. The first song, also the only song I listened to, was 'So Far Away' by Agust D feat Suran.

Among many thoughts regarding my life, I also thought of Yoongi's. Those thoughts lead me to think that there wasn't any official performances of this mixtape of Suga (as far as I know). Knowing that it was released at least four years ago, I couldn't even dream of a concert based on it alone. I hope you can see where this is leading to...

15 February, 2023 Approximately 3:30 in the morning

I know I was late. But I got the update.

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!!!

AGUST D and a so called WORLD TOUR???

The first thing I did was definitely listening to all the songs and building up some kind of feelings inside myself walking around the apartment all alone while the rest of the family sleeps.

But my second thought was something my mother says occasionally. According to her, she has some weird connection with my father spiritually that lets her feel things before hand. I'll go with a normal example; like my father calls her right at the time she was thinking of him or vice versa.

I'm not trying to sound crazy here but that was exactly what I thought and I laughed at myself too. Actually, it was a smile on my face. But I'm glad nobody was around to see it.