I Don't Know If I Am Ever Actually Going To Like Talk About This Again On Any Of My Blogs But I'm Technically

I don't know if I am ever actually going to like talk about this again on any of my blogs but I'm technically not a binary trans man.

I often simplify my identity to just "FTM", "trans man" or "transmasculine", but to be completely honest, I'm demi masculine and nonbinary, but just heavily masculine leaning.

I have the demiboy symbol tattooed on my ankle, and I don't plan on getting it covered or changed anytime soon despite the fact that I usually refer to myself as just a transgender man instead of elaborating, because to me it is more accurate of a description for myself.

I identified as non-binary starting at the time I was like 16 years old until I came out as transmasculine at 24 (also should probably mention that I was diagnosed with an intersex variation at 22, which also affected how I viewed my gender identity in a lot of ways), and I still have a lot of nuances and fluidity to my gender, though none of that could be described as feminine or female. The closest that I really get to feminine or female is feeling kind of like a femboy or girlboy, but even that is pretty heavily leaning towards the "boy" side of things.

I guess the best way that I can describe it is that everyone's gender is like a different color in a crayon box, and if binary male was classic Blue, my gender would be more like dark teal or almost emerald green. Like, the blue is definitely there and it almost looks blue, but there's a bit of green in there and it's kind of dark and muddy.

I don't think that this really makes a lot of difference whenever it comes to things on my page but I feel like it's important to me so I wanted to mention it.

I'm a guy. But I'm also non-binary. I'm a non-binary guy. And there's really nothing that weird about that at all.

I know that most people are used to people who are younger identifying as non-binary and either growing out of it or just keeping quiet about it, so I really want to just normalize that I am almost 30, I have children and a family, I use primarily he him pronouns but also sometimes they or it, and I'm a non-binary man.

Just wanted to say that so that other people hopefully don't feel like the only people who are older than 25 with slightly unconventional or mogai identities. You aren't alone. We exist.

Ngl I'm a trans guy with kids and the second my son says he likes pink and wears something pink, I swear I smell the torches lighting.

People flip shit and cry "indoctrination" or even "grooming" (completely devaluing the actual meaning of those words) because cishet people can't comprehend a child liking things that aren't from the "correct" side of the blue vs pink toy aisle. And God forbid your kid steers into the clothing or shoe section for the "opposite gender" (yeah I'm putting that in quotes because garanimals and shit are literally the same in both sections other than the colors and logos. Boy's sweatpants and girls sweatpants are both just fucking sweatpants other than maybe the ankle elastic and pockets.)

Kids should be allowed to make decisions about what they wear and like. Even if you don't understand it or like it.

I don't like pink, both my kids do. I don't like paw patrol, but both my kids do. So I buy them pink paw patrol stuff because it makes them happy. 🤷🏻‍♂️ It's not that serious tbh but people act like the horses are eating each other.

the only thing transphobes hate more than gender nonconforming adults is gender nonconforming children

One of those days where I'm at my absolute lowest point mentally but I'm not allowed to talk about it because talking about it online gets my account reported and taken down, and I can't talk about it in real life because very few people care and talking about it just makes them mad at me, and if I tell the wrong person, I'll have a "welfare check" of multiple armed cops showing up at my door treating me like a criminal.

Living with PTSD and depression is fucking impossible sometimes and nobody understands.

My dad was more self aware about the same thing. His motto was,

"I'm always right, and even when I'm wrong, I'm right."

He was often wrong and rarely acknowledged it

One time my father said: "I'm always right. And if I ever notice that I'm wrong, I will simply change my mind, and then I'll be right again." It was the wisest thing he ever said in my life. Unfortunately he was absolutely dogshit at noticing when he was wrong.

I want to see a sitcom where the main couple are in their late 20s or older with kids and the whole pilot is this "straight" everyday suburban couple are trying to talk to their Sitcom Best Friend and panicking because "there's something I have to tell them and it'll ruin our marriage!"

At the end of the episode the couple sit down and decide to just yell out their confessions at the same time.

Wife: "I THINK I'M A LESBIAN!"

"husband": "I THINK I'M A TRANS WOMAN!"

and them just staring at each other before going, "thank GOD!" In unison and laughing and talking about the set up for the series: both of them coming out and adjusting to being a queer couple, but FUN. SITCOM. FUN STUFF.

Obviously it should be written and directed and acted by pretty much an entirely queer staff but it should feel like King of Queens or Home Improvement.

I just need it.