Virgil: I Failed My Fire Safety Course Today

Virgil: I failed my fire safety course today

Janus: ... how?

Virgil: the question was ‘what steps would you take in case of a fire?’

Virgil: apparently ‘pretty fucking larges ones’ wasn’t as acceptable answer

might fuxk around and post a slow burn anxceit fic

anyway. send me prompts. i’m bored and feeling creative

OKAY BUT LIKE THE NEW EPISODEN SLAPS HARD OMG

giving me ideas ;)

“So, technically, Tarzan, at some point, considered himself a furry.” The room was silent.

“You know, you don't have to say everything that comes to mind, right?” Logan said.

“You’ve ruined movie night,” Roman said, sighing dramatically.

“C’mon Ro, that’s a little harsh,” Patton said, patting the fanciful one’s head.

“But Padre-”

“Patton’s right. You contribute utter nonsense too,” Virgil said. “Like how you said Han’s was manipulated into being bad. He clearly was just poorly written.” Roman sulked.

“You#re only defending him cause you two are fu-” Patton shot him a look. “Romantically involved.”

“He’s not wrong though,” Logan said. Roman looked over at him. “No, not you Roman, Virgil is right on that front. But technically, it would make sense if Tarzan would have considered himself a monkey-”

“He was raised by gorillas,” Deceit said, looking up from his cuddling spot. Logan gave him his ‘did-you-really-need-to-interrupt-me’ look.

“Fine then, gorillas, but technically, at some point, he would have considered himself ‘a furry’.”

“We can just change movies?” Patton suggested. “Lion King?”

“Hell yeah, but only if Roman and Remus promise to sing ‘oh I just can’t wait to be king’!” Virgil said.

“Why us?!” They both said in unison. Virgil just stared at them.

“You two are the definition of himbos. Both ripped royalty and not a single brain cell between you.”

It was later that night (yes, after much debate, the two eventually got up and sang the song), after Virgil had cleaned his face and was lying on his stomach, scrolling through his phone on Remus’ bed, did the creative side finally let his guard down.

“I’m tired.”

“Then go to bed.”

“But I need something to cuddle.”

“I’m not tired.” Remus pouted. “Stop pouting and reap the consequences of your actions,” Virgil said, not looking up from his phone. “You can’t stay awake all night and then get annoyed when you're tired.”

“You sound like Patton.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“Must’ve said it wrong.” Virgil shot Remus a look.

“What's bothering you?” Remus opened his mouth to speak. “If you say nothing, I will walk out that door. There’s something wrong.”

“Will Roman ever warm up to me again?” Virgil was quiet but he turned off his phone, signalling to Remus he would listen if that's what he needed. “It’s just when we got split, it was like, ‘omg! I have someone to rely on!’ but now it just seems that he hates me.”

“Do you want advice or do you want to rant?”

“I want advice.”

“Roman has projected his insecurities onto you. Your everything he hates about himself. He’s working on it, yes, and you definitely do not deserve it, but the only advice I can give you is 1, put yourself first, you don’t deserve this and you're free to turn around and leave. Two, give it time, he needs to work on himself a lot. And three, don’t let him get away without apologising.” Remus was silent before Virgil opened his arms. “C’mere, my nightmare.” Remus snuggled into his boyfriend’s chest, curling up to allow them to be the same size. 

“Thank you.”

“It’s okay, I’m here for you.”

Me; *doesn’t post for weeks* also me; “here, have this draft while i deal with shit”

Virgil, a tired Gay

Remus, from the next room over: hey!

Virgil, taking off his headphones: what?!

Remus: I’m homicidal!

Virgil: did you say homicidal or s*icidal?!

Remus: Homicidal!

Virgil, sighing loudly: Good! Keep it that way!

sorry for my silence y’all.I have been working on new stuff but I literally just sent off an application for a position I have been wanting and working for the last six years so I was uber focused on that. I am back now and if y’all could keep me in your prayers, that would be great lmao. But expect new stuff soon!