Sander Sides Remus - Tumblr Posts

PLEASE HELP ME!!!

OKAY!

so, I can’t draw but i was singing that song from the Prince of Egypt where the mam is singing to baby moses (this one [its called river lullay or smth]) and i got the coolest idea!

What if there was an animatic where janus is sending a baby virgil off to the light sides so that he can live a better live and he’s sad because he loves virgil but he knows patton will take care of him and love him. and remus sings the part of the sister and watches over him while he journeys through until he gets to the light sides. Oh! and roman is the elder song (making them bros) and patton and logan are their parents! (or any movement of those dynamics)!! 

i really really really like this idea and i would really love if anyone knows if this is a thing?? or if anyone wants to do this pls tag me omg!!

Any side or Thomas: isn’t taken care of themselves

Patton, who also isn’t taking care of himself:

the fic i had planned for remus’ birthday is just sitting in my drafts because i hated it and then i wrote a new ship fic with remus thats a two parter but it has nothing to do with his birthday. do y’all want a birthday fic, or a ship fic?

Part 2/2

Part 1  ( @shamelesspoetry )

Paring: Dukexiety, side Moceit and Loginice Words: 3288 Genre: angst, fluff, hints at smut (you have to squint), angst with a happy ending

Virgil had lost all concept of time. Had it been days? Minutes? Hours? He didn’t know or care. He could only note that the banging on the door had stopped. There had been banging (that faded into knocking) on his door for a while at the start. Logan, confused on whether he had done something wrong, Patton, desperate to try and talk to the anxious side, and Roman, who wanted to understand the outburst. The locked door prevented all of them from entering his space (pity party). The dark cloud of anxiety now seems to spread among the room, swallowing his posters and books. He couldn’t seem to care. He’s passed the sad stage and seemed to move on to the numbness. The sad would come back, it always did.

Meanwhile, in his shared room, Roman was pacing the floor.

“C’mon prince of boring, why are you pacing? It’s giving me head trauma.”

“A headache. That’s called a headache,” Roman said, staring at his twin who shrugged his shoulders.

“What has you so worked up? Oo ~ do you need help with a project, I wouldn’t mind adding a few corpses!”

“No, Remus, be serious, I’m worried about Virgil!”

“The emo?” He asked before shrugging. “He’s just sulking over Logan taking the last cup of coffee or something.” Roman wasn’t convinced. “Come on, Roro, you’re just upset because you have a crush on him.”

“What? No, I don’t,” Roman said, staring at his brother in confusion. Remus only wiggled his eyebrows.

“You wanna see that flat ass all day. Wanna wipe those racoon eyes, wanna-”

“No, seriously, I don’t.” Remus only blinked at his brother before shrugging.

“His loss.” Roman continued to stare at his brother.

“Remus, did you... did you think I liked Virgil?” 

“Well, I figured you’d be into pale emos.” Remus shrugged.

“Remus, I told you I like Logan, right?” Remus tilted his head.

“Maybe you did, I don’t remember.” He then grinned “See, I was right, you are into pale emos.”

“Don’t-” Roman was slowly going red.

“What? I’m not wrong. He is quite pale.” Roman raised an eyebrow at his brother.

“How would you know?” Remus seemed frozen for a moment, his brain catching up with the conversation. “Also, where were you last night? And the night before?” Remus didn’t look up at his brother.

“I was helping Thomas.” Roman, unsure of where Remus was heading, decided to proceed with caution.

“How?” Remus finally looked up, meeting his brothers’ eyes.

“Well, they are both so stressed all the time so I wanted to help... relax them. And since I’m more 50 Shades of Grey to your My Little Pony, and also the only one with the balls to actually do something-”

“Remus, what did you do?” Roman’s heart was beating. “Who are ‘they’ and how did you help them relax?” Remus went quiet for a moment, as if thinking.

“Sex.” Roman looked at his brother and could tell by the look on his face that Remus was leaving something out.

“With who?”

“Virgil...” Roman nodded slightly. “And...” ‘Who?’ Roman wanted to ask but his mind connected the pieces together. Janus and Patton were already together and that left only two people, Virgil and...

Roman gasped, tears welling in his eyes.

“Logan?” His voice was low and Roman didn’t even look at Remus for a response.

“Well, it wasn’t like I forced myself on him, he went with it willingly-”

“Shut up!” Roman’s voice was thick. “For once in your existence, shut up.” Roman shoulders shook. “How... how could you?”

“I didn’t know!”

“Bullshit!”

“Oi, don’t get all high and mighty. You only accepted me because of your spat with Janus, which wasn’t that long ago!” Remus was angry, but only at the accusation that he would deliberately hurt his twin. Roman didn’t look up to meet his brother’s gaze.

“That’s why he was so upset...” Roman whispered. Remus let the confusion wash over his face.

“What has that-”

“He loves you, you idiot! How can you not see it? He always has!” Remus blinked at his brother. “And you just fucked and left?!” Roman looked at his twin, wiping his tears. “And that’s what Logan most have told him, no wonder he’s upset!” Before Remus could respond, the door swung open, with Patton and Logan bursting in.

“We heard yelling,” Patton said. Logan noticed Roman crying first, but the other side didn’t look at him.

“Roman-” Roman pushed past them all, speed walking out of the room.

Virgil was laying on his bed when he heard the tell-tale signs of someone trying to pick his lock. He didn’t try and stop it, figuring it was Patton attempted to pull him out of spiral. He was surprised to find Roman’s tear stained face staring back at him.

“He... he just slept with him...” Roman said, voice thick. Virgil let out a weak, almost maniacal, laugh.

“Wanted us to ‘relax’. Bullshit. All men are trash.” Virgil said, his voice weak from lack of using it.

“Can I join the pity party?” Virgil looked confused for a second before he remembered all the times, he caught Roman’s star-filled gaze fixed on the logical side. He nodded, opening his arms. Roman sunk down onto the bed and the two sides just cried, not caring that people could hear them, not caring about the door still being open. Just not caring at all. 

It was a few hours later, when Virgil woke up to Patton’s soft voice.

“Virge? I have something for you to eat. Roman has gone back to my room.” Virgil struggled to open his eye, but otherwise remained unmoving. “I’m just going to leave it -”

“Stay,” Virgil croaked. “please.” He choked, tears falling down his face.

“Hey, Virgil, can I touch you?” The other side nodded. “Do you want a hug?” Another nod. “Can I climb in beside you?” At Virgil’s nod, Patton lay down on the bed, opening his arms and letting Virgil come to him. Virgil crawled over to him. “Do you wanna talk about it?” There was silence in the room.

“I got my hopes up,” Virgil said. “And the one person I used to talk to about this I’m not talking to anymore and I think he hates me because I was awful to him because I was desperate to be liked!” Virgil said, sobbing. Patton shushed him gently.

“Hey, I’m sure you will get a chance to apologise,” Patton said. There was a creak at the door and Patton looked up, finding Janus giving him a sympathetic smile.

“It’s okay, Pat, I’ll take it from here.” Patton looked down at the sobbing boy and took a deep breath, slowly untangling him, giving the boy a kiss on his hair before moving to leave. Janus took his arm gently as he walked past, rubbing his cheek, kissing him softly. “I’ll take care of him.” Patton nodded, smiling. Janus looked down at the anxious side, who’s eyes were wide and fearful. He opened his mouth but didn’t get a word in before Virgil launched in rambling.

“I’m so sorry for everything I said and did! I wanted so badly not to be hated anymore and I was afraid that if I didn’t hate you than they would hate me again but I should-” Virgil slapped his hand over his own mouth, looking up and Janus, who’s eyebrows were furrowed in worry.

“Virgil. I need to you to breath for me.” Virgil dropped his hand before he took a deep breath in. “Good, okay, I’ll count to eight. 8,7, 6-” Virgil let out his breath. “That’s okay, we’ll start again. 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Good. okay, hold for four. 1, 2, -” Virgil dropped off again, clutching his chest. “Okay, it’s okay, we can start again as many times as you need. Okay?” Virgil nodded, closing his eyes and taking Janus’ hands. “Okay, in for eight. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8. Okay, hold for four. 1, 2, 3, 4. Great, so good, out for seven. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7. Great, let’s do that a few more times.” Janus took him through his breath exercise and the room slowly became lighter and lighter. His posters reappearing, his eyeshadow receding. “That was really good.” Virgil nodded.

“I’m sorry.”

“I know why you did what you did, Virgil. That’s not me saying that I’m not mad or I wasn’t upset about it, but I get it. I did the same thing to Remus, so I know how you feel,” Janus said, noticed Virgil’s gaze dropping from holding Janus’ to his lap at the mention of the creative side. “This is about him, isn’t it?” Virgil nodded. Janus opened his arms and Virgil crawled in and melted against the other side. “He’s always been an idiot.”

“But I thought... He came here, maybe three nights ago. I was... I was confused because he didn’t normal come here. He said I was stressed out and everyone was worried for me... He started kissing me and then more than just kissing and-”

“He forced himself on you?” Janus asked, gasping. Virgil shook his head quickly, looking into the other eyes that he wasn’t lying.

“I wanted it. I thought... it’s stupid, but I thought that meant he maybe he liked me back.” Janus nodded sympathetically. “I know he has troubling expressing emotions and he tends to channel that into... sexual advances. I just thought...” Virgil deflated. “I just thought maybe he liked me back.” Janus pulled him in again.

“I meant what I said. Those twins don’t have a clue between them.”

“I feel bad for Roman. I thought everyone knew about his crush on Logan, except Logan himself. And... him too now, I guess.” Virgil wiped his eye with his hoodie, sighing. “I feel like an idiot.”

“Well, love makes you an idiot. Look at me and Patton. It took us how long to figure out that our enemies to lovers’ trope had turned into the ‘lovers’ end of the spectrum?” Virgil giggled. “Love and feelings are complicated. Maybe you should explain all this to him?” Virgil shrugged.

“I’m afraid. I don’t want to be rejected.”

“Rejection is the precursor to closure. It’s very hard to have one without the other.” Virgil sighed.

“That’s about the dumbest thing you’ve ever said.”

“Okay, Mr pessimism, prove me wrong.” Virgil put his hands up, sniffling.

“You’re right.” Janus handed him his yellow handkerchief. “Thank you.” Janus nodded. “I mean it. What I said. I’m sorry.” Janus gave him a small smile.

“I know. I meant what I said too. About understanding why did and said those things. I was upset but I’m getting over it. Your apology helps.” Janus grabbed a set of wipes before cleaning Virgil’s face. “C’mon, let’s eat. We can relieve Patton who is probably stress cooking.” The door opened on cue and Patton meekly stepped inside, holding more plates.

“I made spaghetti.” Janus smiled, a loving look on his face as he beckoned the side over. Virgil would’ve fake gagged but he couldn’t bring himself to ruin this moment. He was too drained. “Get this into you, then go to sleep. Maybe everything will be clearer in the morning.” Virgil somewhat doubted it, but took the side’s word for it anyway. “Everything is gonna be okay.”

In the hallway, Roman took a deep breath before knocking on the door.

“Yes,” The side answered and Roman opened the door. “Ah, Roman. You were in to see Virgil, how is he doing?”

“He’s fine, Logan. He’s not why I’m here though.”

“If this is about your brother and I, I have been made aware it made you uncomfortable. While I’m not sure why, I do apologise. There is nothing between us.”

“You don’t need to apologise. My reaction was my own fault,” Roman said. Logan looked and him confused and opened his mouth, but closed it when he saw Roman shake his head. “I know you and I have our differences but I really do value you as a friend and side and that’s why I was so scared to come and tell you, but I’ve realised I can’t just use that excuse and then get mad when things don’t work out my way.” Logan still looked puzzles so Roman sighed slightly before locking eyes with the logical side. “I like you, Logan. I have for a while. And I never told you because I was too scared and I just didn’t know what I’d do if you said yes. But I’ve realised I can’t just hold all my feelings in until I combust.” There was silence. “It’s okay if you don’t like me back-”

“No, it’s not that,” Logan said. “I don’t... I don’t really understand love. Sexual desire is different but love confuses me. But Roman I-” he trailed off, ruffling his hair. “I feel something for you. I don’t know what it is but it’s strong and I’ve only recently noticed it.” Roman slowly approached Logan, holding out his hands, silently offering to meet Logan halfway if he needs it. Logan grasped his hands. “Could you live with that? With me possibly never being able to love you back.”

“It could be hard, yeah, but I want to try. I care about you Logan, so I want to be with you, however you feel comfortable.” He pulled Logan up, before standing so close to him. “How about touch?” Logan nodded. “Words please, Lo.” 

“I like touch.” Roman wound his arms around the logical side’s waist. Logan frowned slightly. “I don’t know what makes you think you’ll be in charge.” Roman’s face heated up, covering his ears and neck.

“I was just tryna hold you,” he whined and Logan half smirked, half smiled. He leaned down, kissing the fanciful side’s red neck.

“It’s okay, I’m just teasing.” Roman nodded before the logical side moved back up and the two made eye contact. “Can I kiss you?”

“If you don’t, I might hit you.”

“Feisty, I like it.” Roman blushed but before he could say anything, Logan gently placed their lips together and he melted into the logical side’s hold. Things weren’t perfect, but they would be okay. And when the pair woke up the next morning, arms wound around each other, they realised that they would rather be nowhere else but right here, in this moment, together.

Virgil, who woke up squished between Janus and Patton, managed to climb out without waking either of them up. He moved over to his door and, taking a deep breath, opened it. He was surprised to find Remus mid knock. Part of him wanted to close the door and go back to bed but Patton’s words replayed in his mind.

‘Maybe everything will be clearer in the morning.’

“Can we talk?” Virgil nodded and let himself be dragged to the sitting room. He sat down on the couch and let the silence sit for a few minutes. “Why didn’t you just tell me you like me?” Virgil would’ve been shocked but he also half heard Roman and Remus’ argument. Plus, the other side isn’t completely stupid.

“I was afraid I’d be rejected.” Remus was pacing. Virgil couldn’t understand the nervousness until he realised that he was causing it. “Remus, maybe you should sit down-”

“No!” Remus shouted back. Virgil flinched at the sudden loud noise before Remus dropped down into the chair beside him. “I don’t know how all these lovey dovey words work, that’s Roman’s job, but I like you too! Why didn’t you just tell me? I would never have slept with Logan but it seemed like you truly only wanted to relax, you didn’t even cuddle me so I thought-”

“You like me too?” Remus blinked at the other side. 

“I went to you first. I wanted to confess then but I just didn’t want to be rejected. I like you like wasps like Satan.” Virgil choked back a laugh as tears streamed down his face. “What did I say? Why are you crying?” Remus asked, panicking. Virgil shook his head, taking the sides flailing hands.

“It’s okay. They’re happy tears,” Virgil said. Remus still looked worried so Virgil wiped them away. Remus’ hand glided up his arm and neck, hesitating before his cheek, just centimetres away from the skin. Virgil, deciding to be brave, placed his face into Remus’ palm. Remus’ eyes widened before a smile spread across his cheeks. There was no glint, just love in his eyes and Virgil felt the best kind of overwhelmed. Remus’ began to vibrate with excitement before letting out a screech, picking Virgil up and swinging him around. Virgil wrapped his leg around the other’s waist and clutched on for dear life, half screaming himself. 

“This is better than juicy butt holes! This is better than late night thoughts!” Virgil laughed at him, leaning down to touch their foreheads together. Remus, still pumped with adrenaline, placed the other down on the couch before attacking him with kisses and tickles. The happy tears return as Virgil gasped for air, smiling so wide his cheeks hurt.

“Get a room.” Roman teasing voice came. Remus stuck his tongue out before burying his face in Virgil’s neck. The anxious side saw him and Logan’s clasped hands and winked to the two. “If the rest of us have the decency to go to our own rooms, so do you.” Logan nodded. “Plus, I know you’re lanky but you do not get to take up the entire couch. Move over!” The two complied, Virgil going to sit up before Remus pulled him onto his lap, nuzzling his face into the other’s neck gain, leaving soft kisses.

“Oh, we are all up!” Patton said. His eyes landed on the two new couples and they softened. Janus rolled his eyes and his husband’s soft gaze but Virgil saw the same look in his snake eyes. “Janjan, can you help me make breakfast?” Patton asked, entering the kitchen. Janus, as if sensing the change in atmosphere, moved his gaze to the four remained sides. 

“Not a word.” He said. “I mean it.” The other sides nodded, holding back laughs. He left to go help Patton and the room erupted in laughter.

“Guess Janus isn’t as tough as he lets on.” 

Later, that night to be exact, when Remus had Virgil curled up on his chest, half asleep, he just let himself be so thankful he didn’t fuck this up. Virgil, as if sensing the others thoughts, sat up, looking into the creative side’s eyes, smiled.

“You’re stuck with me now.” Remus smirked, pulling the other down for a kiss, hands roaming his bodies. Breaking away, Remus mumbled again his lips;

“You make it sound so difficult.” He kissed him again before pulling back a minute later. “This has been one of my best decisions in my entire existence.” Virgil smiled, his eyes brimming with love. He curled Remus’ hair around his fingers.

“You’re not too bad yourself, shrimpy.”

“Excuse me, I am a kraken!”

“Okay, shrimpy.” Remus smirked.

“ooh, feeling feisty, are we? Guess we’ll have to fix that.” Remus’ hands dug into the other side’s torso, causing his to shriek with laughter. Remus rolled them over, getting the upper hand and attacking Virgil’ tickle spots.

“Mercy! Have mercy!” Virgil said between pants and laughs and Remus finally let up. Virgil panted, a wide stupid grin taking over his features. “You play dirty, octopus.” Remus laughed before shrugging.

“Close enough!” He declared before diving down to kiss his boyfriend endlessly. Virgil couldn’t help but think that Patton was right.

Everything was gonna be okay.

what if the orange side is just like,,, thomas

he’s been holding himself back all this time

do i wanna write angsy anxceit where two idiots attend a wedding of their ex or do i wanna write fluffy dukexiety one shot where they have their first kiss?

Remus wasn’t a very romantic person. He didn’t see the appeal in the fancy dinners or candle lit nights. He just couldn’t understand why people loved them.

Virgil, no matter how hard he tried to hide it, both understood and loved the romantic nights. And, despite his attempts at hiding it, Remus quickly noticed. But Remus knew that Virgil loved him, impulses and all.

“Hey trash panda, have you talked to your brother recently?” Virgil asked as he sat on his phone on the couch across from Remus’ design computer.

“Normally, my dark and stormy night, I do my best to avoid the repulsive royal, so that would be a no.” Remus didn’t look up from his project - some horror anime/cartoon he was acting hush-hush on. Virgil knew it was because it was a trial piece and Remus didn’t want jinx himself.

“He and Jan are going to Morocco.” This caused Remus to spin around in his chair, looking at his boyfriend with a raised eyebrow. “Jan just texted me to let me know he couldn’t come us to that horror convention next month. Apparently Roman got a promotion so he bought the tickets as a surprise.” Remus nodded.

“Why Morocco?” Remus said, about to turn back around.

“I think he’s going to propose.” Remus froze before looking at his boyfriend who was frantically typing on his phone.

“How-”

“Jan has always wanted to get engaged on a foreign holiday. Plus, Lolo and I saw Roman talking to Cindy, you know Patton’s friend, one from the jewellery store downtown,” Virgil explained. “I’m texting him now to ask.” Remus nodded but didn’t say anything. there was silence, except for Virgil’s tapping.

“Not gonna lie,” Remus stated. “I always thought Janus would propose.” Virgil paused before gasping, followed by him chuckling.

“Bet you twenty dollars Janus is also planning to propose.” Remus laughed. 

“That’s such a rigged bet, they’re both definitely gonna propose.”

Sure enough, a month later, both boys returned home with engagement rings. The gang - Patton, Logan, Virgil, Remus, Emilie, Remy, Janus and Roman - were all in Logan and Patton’s house for Sunday dinner (a long-standing tradition). Virgil was locked into conversation with Janus, Emilie and Patton, who were both showing off their rings. Virgil was laughing with them. Remus’ eyes were glued to him.

“What's got you so distracted? Worried Virgil-”

“Dude, not funny,” Roman said, cutting Remy off. Remy took a sip from his cup but was otherwise silent. “Remus, what’s up?”

“do you think Virgil is waiting for me to propose?”

“I mean, maybe? Have you talked about marriage?” Remus was silent, thinking. 

“Yes and no. We talked about it ages ago but he hasn’t said anything since.”

“Has he dropped hints?” Remy asked. “That’s what Emilie did.”

“Virgil should know I wouldn’t pick up on them.”

“Hey, don’t stress, Rem, Virgil loves you and you love him, that's all that matters,” Roman said.

“That is correct. Maybe Virgil will propose. Patton knew I wouldn’t be able to pick up signs so he just asked me to my face.”

Remus tried to believe them, and he mostly did. Until later that night, when they were playing truth or dare. Logan and Patton were sharing the two-seater. Not quite cuddling but in each other’s personal space. Emilie had his head on Remy’s shoulder on the long couch, with Roman on Janus’ lap at the other end of the couch. Virgil was tucked into Remus’ side as the room turned their attention to him.

“So,” Janus said, wiggling his eyebrows. “Virgil truth or dare?”

“Considering you dared Remy to kiss Patton, I think I’ll go with truth,” Virgil said.

“Well, you wouldn’t tell us earlier, so... what was your dream proposal as a kid?” Virgil turned red.

“Can’t let that one go, no?” Virgil asked and Janus chuckled, shaking his head. “Uhm, pretty sure it was like a candle-lit dinner or something. Probably something cheesy and romantic.” Virgil then quickly moved on, asking Remy something but Remus tuned out again. Was Virgil disappoint with the lack of romance in their relationship? He’s never said anything directly, but why would he bring us Roman proposing on a romantic holiday if not to tell Remus that's what he wanted? Were there any other hints? Was there-

“Remus.” Remus snapped up to Janus’ gleaming eyes. “Truth or dare?”

“Truth. I think my boyfriend was in the right vein,” Remus responded. Janus simply waved dismissively as he went silent, thinking. Almost a moment later, a light bulb flipped on above his head.

“Do you plan on proposing to Virgil?”

“Janus!” Roman said, looking to his fiancé in exasperation.

“It’s a harmless question!” The two bickered slightly, nothing heated but a simply back and forth.

“You don’t have to answer,” Virgil said in a low tone. He had been trying to catch Remus’ eyes, who was just as determined to avoid Virgil’s. Eventually, the smaller man grabbed his chin so they could look into his eyes. “I’m serious. I don’t want you to feel pressured. I love you, okay?”

“I love you too.”

Despite Virgil’s reassurance, Remus was deeply fixated on the thoughts of marriage and if he was enough for Virgil. Virgil liked romance and dancing in the rain and visiting fancy restaurants. Remus liked staying inside and horror films and going to graveyards to adopt ghosts (which scared Virgil so much he learnt how to banish spirits from the house). Remus couldn’t help but feel like maybe, just maybe, Virgil was better off without him? 

He spun in his chair. He was unable to focus on the novel he was writing anymore. Virgil was at work and wouldn’t be back for ages. Despite trying to work, Remus was now fixated on rings. The truth was, he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Virgil but he didn’t see why he needed to buy him a ring or spend thousands of dollars on a wedding to prove his devotion. They bought an apartment together, they had three pissy spirits that they took care of together, and the stray cat that would jump in their window. But if Virgil wanted it, well, who was Remus to say no?

Engagement ring shopping sucked. Plain and simple, it sucked. There were so many different cuts but they all looked so basic. Virgil wasn’t the type to wear flashy jewellery unless it meant something, like the dangly gold earring Remus bough him when he got his masters in psychology. Remus wanted something classy, but all something showed how much Remus knew Virgil, right down to his core. He thought about going to a jewellery shop or hiring someone but how on earth would he be able to explain that to Virgil? In the end, he chose the least expensive route; his brother.

“How do you pick an engagement ring?” Roman choked on his coffee. “What?”

“Try and maybe start a conversation with hello and maybe not something you have never mentioned before now,” Roman said. “But also, why the change in pace?” Remus didn’t say anything. “Is it Janus? he was only messing. He just doesn’t get it sometimes but I told him he need to respect your boundaries-”

“It’s not that.” Roman went quiet, letting his brother speak when comfortable. “I don’t want Virgil to regret being with me. I know that he doesn’t say it but he really likes all the romantic garbage you and Janus do.”

“Remus, Virgil may like romance but he loves you. Plain and simple. But I am your brother and I will support you, so if you need help finding a ring, I will help you,” Roman said sincerely.

“Ugh, you’re so boring and regal. Lighten up. Walk on the gory side.” Roman chuckled.

“I’ll tune it down, but just because you’re my baby brother.”

“Two MINUTES. I AM TWO MINUTES-” Roman burst into laughter, meaning anyone in the cafe who wasn’t staring due to Remus’ screeching, was now looking due to roman’s cackling. 

“Come, little wittle Remus, let’s go ring shopping.”

Remus paid for the ring in cash. He had been taking money out of the account for weeks in preparation. Well, a week. Still, he had it all planned out. He could suck it up for a night. 

He was spreading flowers on the floor when he noticed the dull ache in his chest. Tell-tale signs of a panic attack. Remus paused before moving to sit down. He closed his eyes and repeated his breathing exercises. He could do this. It’s what Virgil wanted. He stood up again, the dull ache turning into a slight pressure. He lit the candles, checked on the food and cleaned up. It was about half six when he realised, he was struggling to breath. Almost as soon as he noticed, the elephant on his chest returned. He backed up, sliding down the wall.

“no... no... not tonight...” He muttered under his breath. He tried to breath but he realised he was struggling. Why tonight. why was he getting a panic attack tonight? it was just one dinner!

“Re- REMUS!” Virgil said, coming in and sitting in front of his boyfriend. “Can I touch you?” Remus shook his head frantically. “Okay, it’s okay, breath with me okay?” Virgil took his boyfriend through his breathing exercises. “Okay, Rem, I need you to name five things you can see.”

“Chair, lights... uh... you, the table... uh, uhm-” Remus swallowed. “And tiles...”

“Okay, four things you can hear.”

“My breathing, your breathing, the neighbours... the oven?” Virgil reached behind him, switching off the oven. 

“Okay, three things you can feel.”

“The floor, my shirt... uhm... sweat?”

“Okay, two things you can taste.”

“Impending doom.” Virgil gave him a look. “Uh, tea and sugar.”

“Okay, finally, one thing you can smell.”

“The candles.” Virgil stood up, switching on the light and blowing out the candles. He finally took in the scene of the room. Remus tried to stand up but was quickly placed down in one of their dining chairs.

“Remus, do you wanna talk about it?” Remus sighed.

“I just... I wanted to plan this big romantic night and I know you like romance but it's just so icky that I must of have been panicked and-” Remus paused, meeting his boyfriend’s eyes. “Look, I know you like romance and I’m sure you’re disappointed I’m not.”

“Remus. I like romance, but I love you.” Remus blinked at him. “I knew what I was getting into when we entered this relationship. You never, ever have to change your boundaries to suit me. Remus, I love you, for you. I know you don’t like romance or pda, but I know that you love me.” Remus didn’t notice he was crying till Virgil wiped the tears from his face. He pressed their foreheads together. “I love you. So much. Romance or not.” Remus held onto his boyfriend. “But I need you to promise to never break your own boundaries for me. I respect the boundaries you put up, and I need you to do the same.”

“I promise.” Virgil smiled and Remus was hit with how overwhelmingly lucky he was to have gotten someone like Virgil to love him. “Ugh,” he groaned. Virgil chuckled.

“What’s up buttercup?”

“Roman was right. I don’t like this timeline.” Virgil just tossed his head back and laughed as Remus whined.

Remus did end up proposing that night. They were watching a horror film and Virgil was critiquing the characters decision when Remus suddenly turned to him.

“I’m just saying, choosing to go down to the creepy basement when you know there’s a serial killer on the loose-”

“Marry me.” Virgil stopped, looking over at his boyfriend. He wasn’t down on one knee but there was a ring in his hands. Virgil’s hand flew to his mouth. “marry me.” Remus sat up. 

“You’re not just doing this for me?” he asked, still in a state of shock.

“I want to spend the rest of my life with you, and if this is the next step? then I’m going for it.” Virgil jumped up, wrapping his arms around Remus, already crying.

“Yes, yes, yes! Oh my god, yes!” He pulled back, letting Remus slip on the ring before launching himself and his boyfriend and smashing their lips together. It was here that Virgil, admiring his ring with awe filled eyes, also realised how lucky he was for getting someone like Remus to love him too.

“So, technically, Tarzan, at some point, considered himself a furry.” The room was silent.

“You know, you don't have to say everything that comes to mind, right?” Logan said.

“You’ve ruined movie night,” Roman said, sighing dramatically.

“C’mon Ro, that’s a little harsh,” Patton said, patting the fanciful one’s head.

“But Padre-”

“Patton’s right. You contribute utter nonsense too,” Virgil said. “Like how you said Han’s was manipulated into being bad. He clearly was just poorly written.” Roman sulked.

“You#re only defending him cause you two are fu-” Patton shot him a look. “Romantically involved.”

“He’s not wrong though,” Logan said. Roman looked over at him. “No, not you Roman, Virgil is right on that front. But technically, it would make sense if Tarzan would have considered himself a monkey-”

“He was raised by gorillas,” Deceit said, looking up from his cuddling spot. Logan gave him his ‘did-you-really-need-to-interrupt-me’ look.

“Fine then, gorillas, but technically, at some point, he would have considered himself ‘a furry’.”

“We can just change movies?” Patton suggested. “Lion King?”

“Hell yeah, but only if Roman and Remus promise to sing ‘oh I just can’t wait to be king’!” Virgil said.

“Why us?!” They both said in unison. Virgil just stared at them.

“You two are the definition of himbos. Both ripped royalty and not a single brain cell between you.”

It was later that night (yes, after much debate, the two eventually got up and sang the song), after Virgil had cleaned his face and was lying on his stomach, scrolling through his phone on Remus’ bed, did the creative side finally let his guard down.

“I’m tired.”

“Then go to bed.”

“But I need something to cuddle.”

“I’m not tired.” Remus pouted. “Stop pouting and reap the consequences of your actions,” Virgil said, not looking up from his phone. “You can’t stay awake all night and then get annoyed when you're tired.”

“You sound like Patton.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“Must’ve said it wrong.” Virgil shot Remus a look.

“What's bothering you?” Remus opened his mouth to speak. “If you say nothing, I will walk out that door. There’s something wrong.”

“Will Roman ever warm up to me again?” Virgil was quiet but he turned off his phone, signalling to Remus he would listen if that's what he needed. “It’s just when we got split, it was like, ‘omg! I have someone to rely on!’ but now it just seems that he hates me.”

“Do you want advice or do you want to rant?”

“I want advice.”

“Roman has projected his insecurities onto you. Your everything he hates about himself. He’s working on it, yes, and you definitely do not deserve it, but the only advice I can give you is 1, put yourself first, you don’t deserve this and you're free to turn around and leave. Two, give it time, he needs to work on himself a lot. And three, don’t let him get away without apologising.” Remus was silent before Virgil opened his arms. “C’mere, my nightmare.” Remus snuggled into his boyfriend’s chest, curling up to allow them to be the same size. 

“Thank you.”

“It’s okay, I’m here for you.”

Me; *doesn’t post for weeks* also me; “here, have this draft while i deal with shit”

Themes: Christmas, no expressed romantic relationships  Warnings: references to sexual things, the odd cuss word Words: 1479 words

“Can someone help me with this oven? I still amn’t used to it,” Patton said, poking his head out from the kitchen door.  

“’amn’t’ isn’t a word, Patton.” Logan said.   

“C’mon specs, don’t just give out to him.” Virgil rose from his seat. “I’ll help, Patton.”  

“Thanks Virgil, I just can't figure out the dials.” The two disappeared into the kitchen as Logan flickered over the page of his book, ignoring Roman’s sharp look.  

“Roman, stop that look with your face, if the wind changes, you’ll be stuck like that,” Janus said, glancing up from his phone. Roman rolled his eyes.  

“Yeah yeah, whatever,” he said, standing up and heading into the kitchen.  

“You should just let Roman be an idiot.”  

“It’s so much more fun to call him out though,” Janus said, smirking. Logan chuckled.  

“Sure, go for it then.”  

“Don’t tell me y’all started the festivities without me!”  

“And risk you placing some gaudy in your face decorations up? It’s a solid no from me,” Virgil said, re-entering the room. “But Pat and I could use your help in the kitchen if you want?” Remus pondered, making a show of putting his hand on his chin and putting on a ‘thinking’ face.   

“Fine,” He said, sighing. “I suppose I shall rescue Christmas with my expert cooking skills.”  

“Yeah sure, whatever shrimpy, get in the kitchen before I change my mind.”  

“Okay, daddy long legs.” Virgil rolled his eyes with a smile.  

“Shut up and help me with the gravy you nuisance to society.”   

“Coming from you, emo, that’s almost a compliment.” Roman said, walking back into the room.  

“Don’t tell Remus, we don’t need his head getting any bigger.” With that, Virgil and Remus disappeared into the kitchen, leaving, Janus, Logan and Roman in the living room.  

“Are you two seriously just going to read all day? It’s Christmas!”  

“You bought the books,” Janus said, not bothering to look up from his book.  

“But now I’m bored.”  

“Go help Patton in the kitchen.” Roman made a farting noise. Logan rolled his eyes. “Very mature,” he said.  

“Thanks, I asked for majority off Santa.”  

“You should’ve asked for a nicer face.”  

“We are literally the same person, idiot.”  

“Don’t call me an idiot, it’s Christmas.” Roman groaned, flopping down on the coach dramatically.  

“It doesn’t feel like Christmas, what with you two doing boring everyday things like reading.”  

“Well, what do you suggest we do?” Janus said, looking up. Logan groaned as a smirk split across Roman’s face.  

“Snow ball fight!”  

There are two things you need to know about the sides. 

1. Never give Roman a challenge 2. Never make Janus feel competitive. 

Once those two rules were broken, all hell broke loose.  

That is precisely how Logan got stuck outside in the cold while Roman and Janus built up defenses fortress’ in the falling snow. Logan was shaking his head at them. Since there was an uneven number, the pair had decided he would be the judge and keep time. He knew this was a very useless role, but also recognized that he could tip the balance and make it an unfair match. 

“On your marks, get set, uhm, throw snow at one another?!  

“Wait no I’m not-”! Roman was cut off by a narrowly missed snowball to the face. He quickly ducked back down.  

“Ha ha, Roman, concede or prepared to be beaten!” Janus said. Roman gave him the fingers before launching a snow ball at the other side. Janus hissed at him before readying his own snow balls.  

-x- 

“Hey, does anyone else think it's too quiet?” Patton asked. Virgil, who was covered in flour and mashed potatoes sent Patton as murderous look.  

“How is this quiet?” Remus, who was holding the back of flour, was smirking.  

“Ah, he is right. There is not sound coming from the other rooms.”  

“That would be because we left Logan and Janus alone, who were both reading.”  

“Yes, be we also left Roman alone with those two and he always brings out the worst in them.”  

“Dear old baby brother, causing mayhem, I’m so proud!” Remus said, dramatically wiping a tear.  

“You can’t call Roman an ‘old baby’. They cancel each other out.”  

“Get out of here with your facts, slender man.” Patton giggled at that.  

“C’mon, let's go check everything out. We’re just waiting on the turkey to cook, but we have time.” Virgil sighed, wiping down his jacket.   

“I’m going to change, since someone-” he shot a sharp look at the smug Remus “-ruined my jacket.”  

“You should wear your Christmas jumper!” Patton called after him. He and Remus headed to the now empty living room. “Well, that's strange.” 

“Well Christ in orgy, where is everybody.” Before Patton could answer, there was shouting from outside. The two sides looked at one another before heading to the source. They followed the noise out to battle. At this stage, much of each fortress has been destroyed by snowballs and both Janus and Roman were trying to alternate between rebuilding their forts but also attacking their competitor. Logan was watching with bewildered amusement, unable to feel most of the chill anymore. He was the first to notice to new arrivals. 

“Roman wanted to be entertained, so he challenged Janus to a snowball fight,” He explained, gesturing to the current situation.  

“Oooh, that sounds like fun!!”  

“Yeah, we should join in.”  

“Dibs on Remus!” Roman shouted, temporarily cease firing. Janus shot him a sharp look.  

“Don’t worry, Jan, I can build your snowballs and work on keep the fort standing!” Janus softened his glare slightly (though he’d never admit that later)  

“Sure Patton, let’s beat the them!” Remus happily jumped over to his brother’s side.   

“Right Remus, the fort’s falling apart, but I’ve got a reserve of snowballs so I say we just attack all at once and claim a sudden victory.”  

“Sounds good, sugar, spice and everything boring.”  

“That’s not the saying.”  

“I don’t care.”  

“Cease fire ending in 3,” Logan said, cutting off the two groups discussions. “2, 1!” The fighting resumed as the front door opened and Virgil stepped outside, holding two mugs.  

“Hey specs, I got a mocha for you,” he said. “I would’ve brought some for the others but they’re technically exercising which’ll keep them warm.” Logan nodded in agreement, taking the cup into his freezing hands.  

“Thank you, Virgil.”  

“No bother, Lolo,” Virgil said, taking a sip of his own warm drink. “So, who’s winning?”  

“In terms of strategy, technically the twins but only because their plan is more thought out, in comparison to Janus and Patton’s ‘we-figure-it-out-as-we-go-along’ approach,” Roman hollered from behind his fortress at Logan’s words. “That being said, the latter team’s fortress is only partially destroyed, whereas the twins one is almost eradicated, so that would hinder their performance enough for Janus and Patton to win.”  

“It’s not over yet, Roman, so pipe down over there!” Janus called out, launching a snowball at Roman’s crumbling base. Virgil laughed at this.  

“Good to know that even at Christmas, some things never change,” He said.  

“In what way?” Logan asked.  

“Just... well this. The fact that Janus and Roman will always butt heads and drag the rest of us into it,” Virgil said.  

“Yes, but that can be very annoying,” Logan said.  

“Still, I wouldn’t change it for the world.” As Virgil was finishing his sentence Roman and Janus both delivered a strong blow to the opposition. Roman’s tower had crumpled, leaving him exposed, whereas Janus had gotten hit in the face.  

“I win!” They both announced at once. There was a silence before everyone turned to Logan and Virgil.  

“Oh no...” Virgil said.  

“Well Logan?” Janus asked,  

“Who won?” Roman finished.  

“Since you never actually expressed what would count as a victory, whether it be knocking your opponent out or crumbling their fort, technically both of you and neither of you win.”  

“Huh?” the two said at once.  

“You never told him what qualifies as victory so you both lose,” Virgil said, downing the rest of his drink. “So congrats, you wasted your own time and now you’re cold.” Janus and Roman exchanged a look before firing a snowball at the two judges. “Oi! Fuck-!” Another snowball landed with a thud on Virgil’s face. “Right then, Logan, let’s get these assholes.”  

“Indeed.”  

Soon, all six were hurling handfuls of snow at one another. Patton would hardly call them balls, more like clumps. The competitive air that had hung around before was gone now, leaving the six sides cackling and laughing at their own antics. Patton stopped for a moment, taking in the scene before him. He let a grin spread across his face as laughter filled up the mind palace.   

His moment was quickly cut short by a snow ball to the head, but we can’t have everything. 

All is well. 

Well, hello. I’m still alive (somewhat). Lost all motivation and creativity but I’m back now! I am in a very stressful school year so I will update when I can. Thank you to everyone who stayed and welcome to everyone who followed.

And happy holidays to everyone who celebrates and happy ‘thank-fuck-2020-is-nearly-over’ to everyone who doesn’t!

Roman: you dont scare me

Remus: I will gaslight you, I’m a cancer, don’t tempt me

“A toast!” Everyone in the room looks up as Janus stands up, his chair screetching behind him. He’s sat at the top of the table. They’re all here, sitting at the long dining table. Everyone, including Thomas, who sits at the other end, looks up to the deceitful side but he’s only loooking at Virgil. “A toast,” Janus repeats. “To Virgil.” The room is quiet and Virgil feels everyone’s silent gazes swing to him. “To Virgil.” He razes his glass, the red liquid slopshing slightly. Virgil feels his dread building but he can’t look away. He’s gaze is frozen on the other side. “Always the protector,” he begins, his eyes shifting form brown to yellow. “never the protected.”

Virgil’s world comes crashing down around him. His vision begins to blur as he sees them all raise their glasses. They’re look at him. They’re all looking at him. He sees their lips moving but he can’t hear them over his own heartbeat in his ear. He wants to speak, but his vocal cords are gone. His throat is throbbing and he thinks someone might ripped them out of his throat. He wants to say something, anything, but he can’t. He’s helpless.

He’s alone.

Grief

Themes: death, grief, hopeful ending Warnings: Death, grief, anger, pain, loss, car accidents, crying. Words: A fair amount (1245 words)

i. I am coping. I'll post something happier soon. Take care of yourselves and each other

Virgil realises that his thoughts tend to think in Before and After on a slightly damp day.

Before the event and After.

It's a steeling sort of realisation, like a dunk of cold water as he remembers there once was Before—a before the chest pain and the tears. There was a time when it was just a worst-case scenario and not his reality.

There was a time before Janus was dead.

And now he was in the after.

He still thinks about that before, more than any good grief counsellor would let him get away with. He still thinks about the night he went to bed, Virgil Storm, a 30-year-old with a husband who works night shifts. Not Virgil Storm, a widow. Not Virgil Storm, whose friends have to visit every day because they know there's no food in the house, and they don't want to plan another funeral.

It's an awful feeling, too, because no matter how much he closes his eyes and squeezes them shut to the point of pain, there's no going back to the before. There's no prayer, wish, spell, or nothing that will bring him back to the before. Or that will bring Janus to the after. There's no backwards, and the forwards seem unbearable to him, sitting here on a damp day, with the heating off but a blanket around him. Janus' cup from that morning Is still on the end table because Virgil hasn't been able to cope with the thought of there never being another cup there.

He cries a lot and is tired a lot. Patton tries his best to get him to sleep but doesn't understand why Virgil can't seem to. He thinks it would be an escape, but Virgil just can't do it. He can't bring himself to sleep when he knows he will only have to wake up again. And for a few minutes, Virgil knows he won't remember. He'll reach for that long-cold side of the bed because he won't remember, and he thinks that might be the cruellest thing he could ever do. A selfish part of him wants to forget, wants to forget this sadness and pain, but he can't, so he won't. Janus doesn't deserve that; Janus deserves more than to be t-boned on the interstate when coming home after making a pitstop because Virgil wanted doughnuts.

But Virgil can't think about that right now, so he doesn't. He just cries and huddles closer to the blanket.

Remus supposes they think he's heartless. Or if not heartless, then repressed. If he's frank, he's probably a little bit of both. And stupid, added in. Though he'd have to give a massive fuck you to the people who seem to think they get to decide how he copes.

It wasn't their best friend who was killed by a fucking idiot drunk driver at 4 am. No, it was his. His oldest friend was killed just like that, and Remus thinks he's allowed to cope however the fuck he sees fit. Whether it be drinking himself, angry and getting into a fight, or screaming so hard the cops are called at 2 am while at home, then he's coping, sue him.

It hits him in waves, the grief. In the mornings, he'll wake up and be sad, but he'll be able to breathe. And then he'll be at the store, and he'll see Janus' favourite chocolates on sale or smell his cologne or hear something, and it's like his finding out all over again, and he can't breathe again, and his eyes will water, and he'll have to go home and cry like a baby.

He knows one person in the world will understand his feelings, but how does he do that? Reach out to Virgil, Janus' widow, and say he's struggling? As if the man didn't lose his husband, his partner, the person he wanted and was willing to spend the rest of his life with. The person he wanted to travel with and host Christmas with. How does Remus go up to the man who lost his soulmate and look for comfort in him?

So he doesn't.

He didn't think Virgil would either until he did.

Remus finds himself at the front door of Virgil's house (it's a punch in his gut to no longer call it Virgil and Janus' house), and he's stalling on ringing the doorbell because then he'll come face to face with the widow of his best friend.

Once again, Virgil makes the first move. He opens the door, and red eyes meet watery ones.

"Come in," he says. And Remus does. He steps inside, and he stands in the hallway.

"how-"

"don't," Virgil says. "You know, so don't ask." And Remus nods because he does know. Of course, he does. If anyone would, it's him. "I didn't ask you here to help me through my grief; let's face it, neither of us is doing well. I asked you here because there's no point in both of us going through it alone." He takes a deep breath. "He wouldn't want us to, and since he isn't here to force us to talk to each other, I'm doing it." Remus has nothing to say in response, so he only nods. Virgil's right. Janus would hit them both on the head for isolating themselves. "So we're going to clean in silence. We're going to clean-" Virgil breaks off, a sob escaping before he takes a deep breath and continues, voice thick, "we're going to clean his cups and plates, and I've been too scared to. And his shirts." And Remus nods again, shoulders shaking.

"We will." And it's all he can manage to say, he realises. Because he has no other words to share, he realises that's okay.

So they clean. And when Virgil's sobs get too loud, or Remus' hands shake too much, they stop and drink a glass of water or watch some dumb sitcom episode. And when the sobs and shakes subside, they help each other and continue.

It takes three days and millions of breaks, but the next time Patton visits to restock the fridge, the plates and bowls are gone, and the sheets are clean. There are still shirts that need to be washed, but Remus puts them back on Janus' side of the bed, reminding Virgil this is a marathon, not a sprint. And there are still albums that need to be sorted, but Virgil took them from Remus' shaking hands and put them in a bag for Remus to take home to keep when he has the strength to return to his apartment.

The others come over for dinner - Logon and Roman coming in after work, Roman pulling his brother close the second he's in arms reach. Patton makes pasta, and the three of them - Logon, Roman and Patton - share stories and jokes about Janus. Virgil and Remus are quiet, but it's not a lousy quiet. They're just exhausting because grief is crippling, and this is the first time they've genuinely stopped in what feels like weeks, so they relish in it.

And in the morning, they both wake up on the couch, turn on the TV, and comfort each other when Janus' favourite documentary or an ad for his favourite movie comes on.

They'll live, they decide. They'll suffer, choke, cry, and get angry, but they'll live.

If for no reason other than Janus' wasn't able to, they'll live.

Remus: Hey Janus?

Janus: what?

Remus: are you awake?

Janus: who the fuck do you think said what?!?

Swipe to see the full image + bonus!...I mainly see this because of a TikTok audio😅😅

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🌷Character: #/remussanders

✨Show: #/sandersides

💧Actor/Creator: @thatsthat24

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🌷Materials used:

iPad 7th Gen, Apple Pen 1st Gen, Medibang Paint Pro

✨Time Taken: 1hr53mins

Since people enjoyed my last Sides post, heres some 2-3 year old memes I made that have been rotting in my files. The designs have changed drastically but they're still pretty funny

Oh younger me, you loved that text meme generator, huh?