If The Heavens Ever Did Speak

If The Heavens Ever Did Speak

Warnings: religious trauma, demons, biased view of religion, insecurity, homophobia, church, quotes from the bible Themes: Religion, demons, corruption Words: I'd say a lot (2091)

this is all based on a dream I had ages ago

-

“In him was life, and that life was the light of men."

The chapel is filled with the muttering of the hopeless and hopeful. Logan tunes them out as he listens to the words as absorbs them. A shoulder presses to his, a soft movement and slow reminding him that there is a body beside him. He does not turn to face them as he is sure they don’t either. His mind is on his Lord, and there it will stay. He listens to the words and lets them sink deep into his skin and brain. His mind is on the Lord, and there it will stay.

Virgil is silent beside him, hands interlocked and close to his lips as he repeats the scriptures and words, repeating and muttering as he gives his all to his Lord. Logan is beside him, and Virgil knows his eyes are closed as he lets the words be absorbed. Virgil does not look, keeping his eyes cracked as he mutters and prays alongside his community. From the corner of his eyes, he sees the fearful, those who do not respect what they are doing. He will not let himself be tainted with them.

“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”

They are quiet upon their return home. Their home is cracking and broken, but they do not complain. If not in this life, then in the next, they will see heaven. They will see plenty and will not want for anything. They will not want in this life. Virgil is the first to speak, the first to break their silence and bring them away from their scripture.

“Lunch?” Logan gives him a small smile, nodding as he puts their coats away as Virgil moves slowly through the kitchen. His limbs are heavy, and his mind is complete, but he moves methodically. The curtains are blowing softly beside him as he moves slowly. The light is soft and grey as the rain is drizzling down. If he strains, he can hear the scratching of Logan’s quill move against the paper in the other room, but for not, he won’t. The floors creak below him, and the ceiling above him does so too. He does not want nor does he complain. He is alive.

“Though we are overwhelmed by our sins, you forgive them all.”

“Humans? Again?” Instead of remaining focused on the humans through the screen, he doesn't turn to the voice. “Remus? This is hardly normal?” Subpoena tries to fight the grin that is consuming his face, but he can’t.

“What can I say, Roman? They intrigue me,” He replies before he spots them. They’re his favourites to watch. They’re slow and sullen, and he almost revels in it. Almost. 

“Remus.” He doesn’t respond, his mind and eyes following the humans as they move slowly, their bodies rigid. “Their god does not like us.”

“Their god has nothing on me.” Remus blocks him out, letting his humans consume him in their movements. He can hear the sound of footsteps as Roman leaves, but he does not turn. He watches their descent to their quarters. His lips curl into a scowl as the run-down shack they live in. The wallpaper is crumbling, and the table and furniture are chipped. His eyebrows furrowed as he leaned forward, planting his hand on his chin as he watched their movement. One moves to the kitchen, preparing a simple stew. The other moves to the bedroom, scribbling in a notebook. Remus, still leaning forward, lets a smirk overcome his face again.

“The Lord will fight for you; you only need to be still.”

Virgil finds himself being drawn to the man before him. He is supposed to be helping the priest with the monthly charity event, but he’s found himself completely distracted. The man’s hair is darker than the night, and his eyes seem to be overtaken by a shadow that Virgil is entranced by and wishes to get lost in. He finds himself moving without thought, entirely overwhelmed by desire as he moves close to the man. He pauses a few metres away, suddenly aware of his .mind again. He frowns, looking at the floor as he frowns at himself. He should not desire for anything, he remembers. He turns around, leaving the man behind. 

Throughout the day, the man sits in his mind. He is consumed by him, so much so that he returns to the same place where he first saw him. To his surprise, the man is there again.

“Hello,” the man says, a smile spread across his face. Virgil does not match the expression but does not turn away. He knows he should. The Lord does not welcome mingling with outsiders, but he figures once won’t hurt. “What’s your name?”

“Virgil,” he speaks before thinking. 

“I’m Remus. Tell me, where did you disappear off to? You seemed to be hellbent on coming over to me, then changed your mind.”

“I had to help my priest organise an event,” Virgil says.

“You’re religious?” Virgil nods. “Do you ever grow tired?” Virgil blinks at him, eyes widening. “Tired of waiting for your god to help you?”

“I don’t have those thoughts,” Virgil says, moving away from the man, but he follows him.

“Don’t or shouldn’t. Surely you have wants? Desires?”

“I-” Virgil pauses, standing in front of him.

“You can tell me your wants?”

Let it be known that Virgil rarely doubts. The church was his saviour, saving him from himself when he was young and alone. It gave him Logan, his love (even if he could never tell him), and it gave him a home, a community. Virgil has not wanted for anything because he knows what it is to suffer, and so he will be thankful for what little he has.

“You could have more,” the man, Remus, says. “You could have more than what you have.” Remus moves closer to him, and Virgil should move away, should return to his life and not want. He should never question his Lord. But he doesn’t. “I could give you what you want and what you need.” Virgil feels a hand on his hip, and he finds himself unwilling to move away, his breath stolen from him as he feels the man’s arms consume him.

“Remus, I- what- But-” 

“Shhh, let yourself want, human, let yourself want with me,” Remus’s voice is in his ear. 

“I shouldn’t think these things,” Virgil whispers.

“Your Lord has no control here.”

“I-” Virgil closes his eyes, mind conflicted. His lord saved him and gave him Logan; he should never doubt him.

“Is Logan your love's name?”

“I- He’s not my-”

“I see how you look at him?” Quality’s face burns red. “I see how he looks at you.”

“He doesn’t- it’s not returned.”

“Oh dear, little one, your Lord has led you astray. Making you believe you cannot love. Follow me. Come with me. You can love in peace with me.”

“But my lord-”

“Your Lord has forgotten you.” Virgil opens his eyes to meet Remus’s red ones. His eyes widen more as a soft hand comes up to cradle his face. He should pull away, but he finds himself wanting to stay. He finds himself wanting. “Stay with me.”

“And Logan?”

“Let’s go to him then.” Virgil feels himself being moved, and in the blink of an eye, he’s home, and Logan is looking up at him. 

“Logan…” he says, and his voice already betrays him. The air is heavy and cold, and Virgil thinks he might cry at the look in Logan’s eyes.

“You have forsaken him-”

“Logan-”

“After all he’s done for you-”

“Logan, please-”

“After all he’s given us?”

“I love you.” Logan is quiet, eyes wide. “I know he says we are wrong, but we aren’t. I love you. Please, Logan, we could- I don’t know, Logan, we could go, Logan, please, I love you-”

“No- no, you can’t. It’s wrong, Virgil, it’s-” Virgil is crying, tears streaming down his face as Logan steps back.

“Logan.” Logan spins around at the new voice. “Your Lord has forsaken you. He knows nothing of love.”

“No, he loves us, he cares for us, he-”

“Has left you behind.” Remus moves closer to him. “I know this. Virgil knows this. See the light.”

“No, he- no!”

“He has left you in the dark, Logan. He has forsaken you.”

“No, I- no, he-. NO!”

“You love Logan. You love Virgil, but your lord has abandoned you. You cling to a faith that has done nothing but hurt you.” Logan’s breath catches as his eyes connect with fiery red eyes. “I can offer you safety. I have seen you two want for more than you have. For safety and love, Logan, I can give you that. Come with me.”

“Logan, please,” Virgil says. “I can’t stay, not now. But I can’t leave you-” He cuts himself off with a sob, Remus pulls him close, and Logan feels something well in his chest at the sight.

“You’re a demon,” Logan whispers.

“I am,” Remus says. “I am a demon, and I am your salvation.” Logan steps towards Virgil, towards both of them. He extends his hand, letting Virgil attach to them, to fall into his arms.

“I love you,” he mumbles to the man, who only cries harder. “Why do you help us?” he asks the demon, and the demon smiles, not cruel or unkind like he’s been taught but small and vulnerable.

“I have seen what you god does to his people; I do not wish to see you suffer.”

“But why?” he asks, desperately searching for anything because if he’s going to leave all he’s known behind, he needs a reason.

“Because I know what it is to want. To want for something and not get it,” Remus says, hands moving to cup Logan’s cheek to press against Virgil. “To love and not be allowed to show it.” Logan's face tilts, almost unconsciously, leaning against the warm hand. “Your God hath forsaken you, but I never will.”

“My lovers got humour.”

Remus finds himself to be lucky. He supposes it’s in his nature. The sky is dark as he sits. If he were awake, Virgil would say the sky is always dark here, but he sleeps peacefully on his lap, his head rested on his chest as his chest rises and falls softly and peacefully. Logan remains awake, his hand moving through Virgil’s hair, looking up at Remus, where he sits at his throne every few moments. When he’s sure Virgil is asleep, he moves away, letting Remus’s hand replace his and brush through Virgil’s hair.

“Why?” Logan asks, voice quiet. “Why us?”

“Love is a fickle thing,” Remus responds. “I’ve seen how your god treats his people, with punishments and pain for things that are out of your control. I do not wish to see you suffer. To see either of you suffer.”

“Why us?”

“Because you deserve better.”

“How do you know? How do you know we do? We have sinned. We have loved people we should not. We have broken the rules. We’ve been tempted. We’ve wanted.”

“You can want here.”

“It is wrong,” Logan whispers, but Remus knows he does not mean it.

“You are happier here,” Remus says. “You could be. You could be safe here. You could love him here.”

“Why help us?”

“I love you.”

“You don’t know us.”

“Unlike your old God, I take care of my people. You will not have to want because I will give you it all. I will shower you in it all.” Logan says nothing, letting himself move closer to believe. “You can love here. You can stay here.”

“You don’t know us,” Logan repeats, doubting his own words.

“I do not need to. I want to, but I have seen you, how you need.” Remus’s warm hand returns to his cheeks. “Can your God do this?” And then there are lips on his, and Logan feels the want rush through him. The wants he has repressed for years on the instruction of his community. He feels the want to kiss Virgil and hold him. The want to make mistakes and to live rush through him as Remus moves away. “Let the want consume you.”

“It’s a sin,” Logan whispers, but he doesn’t mean it. He finds himself wanting to sin.

“Whats sin to a demon?”

"Knows everybody's disapproval, should've worshipped them sooner."

Teacher sander sides AU

(I’ve had this is my drafts for ages and like... here you go i guess? lmao)

So I dont really have an exact idea of the plot but this has been in my head.

before I begin;

Virgil and Deceit; half black (African American mom, white dad) Logan: mixed (half Asian and half American mom, black dad) Roman: second-generation American to a Cuban family. Patton: Spanish parents and grandparents but born in the US Remy: half english/Irish on his mom’s side Thomas: American (Thomas is as he is in the ‘real world’)

TW: Mentions of an abusive childhood (mentioned in Virgil’s 5th bullet point and Janus’ third point)

Virgil Dark

22, panromantic and demisexual, temp art teacher but becomes the permanent art teacher when the previous teacher quits a year into his temp work 

Graduate from high school early and went straight to college on a sports scholarship

TW: ABUSE; His older brother is Janus, who got him the job. Do not fuck with Janus around him. he will kill you.

Loves kids and art. He’s the cool teacher who curses and is never seen without some sort of hot drink

Grew up in an abusive household. His mom died when he was young. He was never physically abused, but his dad just usually acted like he didn’t exist.

Relies on Janus for everything, is sometimes non-verbal so Janus helps translate for his friends who don’t know sign language.

Loads of his kids learned sign language so they could communicate better with him

He cried

is very protective of his friends and his students

Looks smol but with fuk you up

“But Lo, they said they wanted to draw you!”

Janus Dark

24, polysexual and homoromantic, classics (idk if every country has this but it’s pretty much latin studies, along with ancient Greece and Rome studies) and philosophy/religion teacher

Virgil's big brother

TW: ABUSE; While his dad pretended Virgil didn’t exist, the monster of a man mostly verbally abused Janus. He gave him the burning scar when he poured hot water on his face. That what got the process of them getting out of that house started. Janus just turned eighteen and began V’s legal guardian and they ran away together

Loves teaching classics because he loves teaching about old civilisations

is constantly learning new things and always strays away from the curriculum

constantly annoys Virgil will long in-depth conversations

“I’m just saying, that, technically, if this life was a computer simulation, we can’t die. just be reset.”

“It is thREE IN THE AFTERNOON AND I AM TRYING NOT TO HAVE AN ANXIETY ATTACK HERE.”

Despite teasing the younger, he will kill you if you look at Virgil wrong or even breathe in his direction wrong.

Flirts with everyone but Remy {;)} which upsets the other but its only cause he has a massive crush that Virgil constantly teases him over he isn’t like that with him.

Loves his students but will still give quizzes. A lot of them actually. But all his students appreciate him

Goes on mad rants about how everyone was gay in Rome but how “the heteros don’t want you to know”

Thats the phrase he says the most

Patton Blue

28, gay, a home economics teacher

every year sews name tags on his students’ aprons.

gets the best results in the school for his subject

cooking puns galore

“lettuce not be too hasty with that salad!” ”good luck to you all! bake a leg!” “gotta get that bake-ini body!”

Is just a soft squish who loves all his students so much

Was the first to welcome Janus when he was new

His student will kill you if you hurt him

he’s the teacher no one can give out about

loves everyone so much. he’s just got a lotta love to give, let him give it

Is always fighting for better resources for all the teachers

union president in the school

he helps his student by coming in on his weekend to help them with questions and helps with study supervising after school

Is blind without his glasses but loses them constantly (they’re usually on top of his head)

Is very forgetful most days

volunteers in his spare time

Logan Star

28 (two weeks older than Patton), bisexual and his gender fluctuates. he can’t find a term he thinks fits him (uses he/him pronouns the most and occasionally They/them, it depends on the day. doesn’t feel comfortable with she/her)

is the smartest teacher but doesn’t like to brag (skipped three grades)

His students usually call him Mx. Star, as its genderfluid, unless he tells them he wants to be called Mr. He’ll usually write it up on the board.

They love him to bits as he never makes them feel bad if they don’t understand and doesn’t move on till he’s sure everyone is comfortable and understands

The old principal was a family friend

Is slightly colour blind as he confuses red for orange and pink for green.

Wears glasses but can see without them

Wore contacts to class once and was voted second hottest teacher (after roman)

Knows the best calming songs thanks to Virgil

“It’s pi day and Patton bullied me till I teamed up with him and, long story short, we made forty-five pies.”

Roman Glass/Burke (biological mother’s name)

23, gay (but mostly refers to himself as queer because gay doesn’t fit, but neither does bi/poly/pansexual) and demiromantic. Drama and music teacher (was enrolled in school early and skipped a grade)

Remus’ twin and Remy’s adoptive little brother

he and remus had a rocky childhood because remus found it hard to read social cues (He’s autistic) and roman thought that he was just being mean, but when they got adopted and remus was diagnosed, they're relationship improved and now they’re inseparable 

His mother died when he was ten and was adopted by Remy’s parents at fourteen. He never knew his father but when he was adopted learnt his father died the day after he was born

Remy is his hero

Only keeps Burke as a second name out of habit but he is Mr Glass to his students

despite how much they argue, Virgil is his best friend

“why are you so edgy!” “why are you so loud!”

They love each other really

As the youngest two, they are babied by Patton and Remy. Janus packs them both lunches, Remy buys them hot chocolates and Patton bakes them cupcakes

Come play season, Roman is an absolute maniac.

Puts on two plays a year (one Shakespeare in autumn and a musical in spring)

loves Shakespeare too much. so much so that even Virgil knows at least one quote from every play

Doesn’t like doing just musicals because so many people can act but not everyone can belt notes (just cause he can do both)

Is an absolute cinnamon role “but if you mess up that step one more time, Courtney, I swEAR-”

All the students excuse his rants because they love him

Rants to his students in Spanish sometimes

him and Patton rant in Spanish also

Taught Virgil all the Spanish curse words so that he could keep up when he rants about people

His mother was deaf but he only knows Spanish sign language till Virgil helps him learn ASL. (Virgil taught him the curse words first)

Remy Glass

29, fabulous gay, new vice-principal but previously, he was a history teacher, but still takes a few classes sometimes.

Got the job because he has so much shit on everyone (and because he was working there for nearly seven years)

He is always drinking Starbucks

“open door policy. except my door is close. just open it. but knock first. and don’t come in till I let you. so yeah, remember that”

has to deliver most of the speeches

does not like delivering speeches

loves history but tends to not follow the set curriculum

drive his student's crazy because “yes sir, it’s cool how food has changed but, please sir, we wanna pass-”

Still, he has a high A and B rate

goes off topic easily

is hella rich and no one knows why

Roman knows why Remy has so much money, but won't tell anyone

Is very soft for roman, Virgil and Janus because aren’t we all?

Is in charge of the music that's played over the intercom during lunch and stuff (his idea) and usually plays Panic at the Disco or musical soundtracks. plays calming music during exams

Spends his life in that school

Will probably be found dead under his desk one day

but still loves the school

Thomas Sanders

31, gay. The principal of the middle and high school for the past five years.

Loves the students so much

Used to teach english

loves poetry

He sees the teachers as his friend more than his employees

Is very good at guessing moods and responding appropriately

Is always humming some Disney song

‘Sneaks’ into Patton's classroom for snacks (patton has a drawer of snacks just for him)

Makes sure the students are happy and feel comfortable

Not so good with expenses but the accountant is very helpful

Keeps the teacher’s salaries medium to high because he knows how many students can annoy someone no matter how amazing they are

takes his staff out for dinner at least once a month and has to physically fight Remy for the check (he loses)

he just loves??? everyone??

Like Remy, is always in the school

The students don’t call him Mr Sanders, usually referring to him as Mr Sands (which he loves and openly gives them permission

Remus Glass/Burke

also 23, asexual and aromantic

He’s not a teacher, but he works in education

he’s like a superintendent but he’s only got like 3 schools in his district so he’s around a lot

he makes a lot of sexual jokes but is actually really uncomfortable in any romantic or sexual situations (romantic and sex repulsed)

but not in a way for other people, if that make sense, he openly encourages his brother to hoe it up (before he gets with pat) but is uncomfortable being sexually or romantically involved with people

kinda just loves his brother and all his friends

he’s autistic so he doesn’t really like making friends but loves everyone in the school

also adopted by Remy’s family and they were the first to get him a psychologist to diagnose him with autism

he loves animals and has keychains with pictures of his dogs

he has two pitbulls - artemis and apollo - as well as three cats he found in the dumpster behind the school - athena, chonko and zeus (one of these things is not like the others)

loves music and writes songs sometimes for his brother

fights for the schools in his district to have better opportunities and better education when its comes to mental heath, sex education and LGBTQ+ education 

Ships

Virgil x Logan

Roman x Patton

So yeah. that’s my au. If I offended anyone or used a term you feel uncomfortable with, plz lemme know and i’ll remove it or put a trigger warning up!

Patton: I don't know what to say

Janus: let me

Patton: don't be mean about it though

Janus, staring directly at Patton: frantic backspacing

existing online is weird because i see people have online friends but the only online friends I've had we've either grown apart or just lost contact.

like i wanna join online spaces but the spaces I'd join are already spaces people in my life have asked me to allow them to keep private to themselves (which they are absolutely allowed to do)

so here I come, back to sander sides Tumblr to cope lmao /lh

I am, in fact, still alive. Just deeply stressed and trying to get by haha

Hey will you reblog if you’re an active sanders sides blog? Ik a lot of people have left but. I’m still here lol

new Janus video... damn i really forgot how obsessed in love with sander sides until i got new content