Festivefish - Tumblr Blog

Does anyone else get the late night study session euphoria or is it just me

At the company retreat, one extremely drunk girl asked what my pronouns were. (Eventually, it took her a while to word the question.) After the whole conversation was done, she goes- "YEAHHH GURL, Get on with--with THY bad self! See what I did?? They/them/thy."

I was almost holding back tears from trying not to laugh as I told her yes that's great you nailed it honey. Thank you very much I am feeling the love.

Anyway I've been assigned Thee/Thine at Supportive Drunk Girl

The House of Black family Bloggers AU

Follower: *Reblogs*

Me: I love you too

I hate people who call me. I don’t have a phone so you can reach me, I have a phone so I can read fanfic on the bus.

Things I've heard in class as the marauders part 5

*Sirius shit talking the black family home*

Regulus: it may be a rat hole, but it's my rat hole, stop talking shit about it!

Regulus Sirius

anyone else feel like they’re playing pretend with this adult shit? i simultaneously feel like a teenager wearing heels to school and an eighty year old woman who can’t accept that she’s not young anymore, like wtf is this limbo, where do i go from here

this is one of those horrifyingly clear moments in history when you immediately know everything has changed but you can’t see how yet

embarrassment on the world stage tbh. we're supposed to be the gun crazy country and this guy couldn't even get his aim right? pathetic.

a former US president gets shot at and rather than trend himself he causes supernatural to trend instead because everyone is sharing the news via the destiel meme. unparalleled

James: I swear this one is better.

Regulus: James, no.

James: A Spanish magician told everyone he would disappear.

Regulus: …

James: He said “Uno, dos…” and disappeared without a tres.

Regulus: *starts crying*

James: Shit, are you okay?

Regulus: I’m just allergic..

James: To what?

Regulus: Your stupidity.

Things my friends have said as the marauders Pt.4

*Sirius, Remus, and Harry are sitting in a car listing to some new age muggle radio station*

Sirius angerly turning off the radio: new age music sounds like someone is putting their big toe in a bear trap and is screaming

ok but Klaus and Five are Sirius and Regulus variants

Things my friends have said as the marauders/slytherin skittles Pt 3

James : when I was younger I dank the pool water because I thought it tasted better

Regulus: Yeah, coming from you, I'm not surprised

VIBE CHECK! *yearns deeply for you from an unfortunate distance*

Things my friends have said as the slytherin skittles/marauders pt 2.

Sirius :OUCH!

Regulus: What happened?

Sirius: idk my finger just started hurting

Regulus: Good your getting punished by God

Sirius: Why!? What did I do?!

Regulus: evil!

Things my friends have said as the slytherin skittles

Pandora : Look, a baby!!

Regulus: Do you want me to steal it for you?

Pandora: NO!!

edward hopper / jenny slate

The amount of times I'm just sitting with other people thinking this exact thing

Me sitting at the dinner table:

Me:

Me:

Me: *thinks* they don't know I'm thinking about Harry potter's dead dad and his death eater forbidden love

Ok I guess their all coming with me

So you know how in relationships there is the spider killer

but there is also the dead animal handler, sometimes they are the same person but I have also noticed that it is not always the case, for example, my mom hates bugs, so my dad will almost always be the one killing them, but every time that we find a dead animal like the time my dog brought a dead rabbit inside, he woke up my mom to get her to handle it and I think that its really funny that my mom is okay dealing with dead rabbits, dead birds, etc. but not small bugs.

Remus: Pads, why are you wearing surgical gloves? Sirius: My hands were dry so I got the gloves and put lotion in them! Remus: You look like a serial killer Sirius: A moisturised serial killer! Barty: Ev, why are you wearing surgical gloves? Evan: I was dissecting a bird Barty *sweating*: Do me next James: Reg, why are you wearing surgical gloves? Regulus: So they won't find my fingerprints on your corpse. James *nodding enthusiastically*: Okay! Peter: Prongs, why are you wearing surgical gloves? James: Madam Pince says I'm not allowed in the library without them anymore :( Peter: Why? what did you do?? Remus *walking in*: Why is the restricted section covered in chocolate?