To Love Someone Is To Put Your Life On The Line. I Dont Take It Lightly.

To love someone is to put your life on the line. I don’t take it lightly.

Dazai Osamu, “Female” from Self Portraits

...I still wait for someone. Who on earth am I waiting for? For what sort of person? Maybe what I’m waiting for isn’t a human. I dislike humans. No, I fear them. When I meet someone and indifferently exchange such greetings as ‘How are you?’ or ‘It’s become cold,’ greetings I don’t want to make, I somehow get the unpleasant feeling that there is no such horrible liar in the world as I, and I wish I were dead. Also, the other people, too, are unduly wary of me and use diplomatic speech which tries very hard to be harmless and inoffensive, and relate their pompous, false feelings. As I listen to it all, I find their petty cautiousness deplorable, and the world becomes more and more unbearably odious. Are ‘people in the world’, I wonder, creatures that spend their whole lives greeting each other in stiff, formal patterns, being cautious about each other, then growing tired of each other? I hate meeting people.

Dazai Osamu, “Waiting”

“Nothing in this world can fill the hole that is your loneliness. You will wander the darkness for eternity.”

“Awaken me from this oxidizing world of a dream.”

That was when Dazai first realized: Sakunosuke Oda understood him much more than he’d ever imagined - right up to his very heart, almost to the center of his mind. Dazai didn’t realize until then that someone had know him so well. 

“Be on the side that saves people,” Odasaku replied. “If both sides are the same, then choose to become a good person. Save the weak, protect the orphaned. You might not see a great difference between right and wrong, but… saving others is something just a bit more wonderful.” 

“How do you know?”

“I know. I know better than anyone else.” 

Dazai gazed into Odasaku’s eyes and saw a glow of conviction. It was clear that those words were supported by some sort of strong basis. Wheter it was past experience or someone’s advice - Odasaku was trying to show Dazai the path he himself had once tried to walk. 

Dazai knew that. 

That was why he could bring himself to believe it. 

Asagiri kafka, “Osamu Dazai and the Dark Era”

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