Flamesummers - Mystic - Tumblr Blog

For someone like myself in whom the ability to trust others is so cracked and broken that I am wretchedly timid and am forever trying to read the expression on people’s faces…

Dazai Osamu, No Longer Human

To love someone is to put your life on the line. I don’t take it lightly.

Dazai Osamu, “Female” from Self Portraits

This is so GOOD! Thank you for this 🙏💕🩵 Can't wait to see more!!!!! 💝💖💗💓💞

PICK A CARD ⋆ the relationship with your fictional other

a fictional other is defined as: f/o usually stands for fictional other, which is a term often used by self-shippers, mainly on tumblr. you can have romantic, familial and platonic f/os.

· what would they think about you?

· what would your relationship be like?

reminder that this is a general reading and messages found here may not apply to everyone. take what resonates, leave what doesn't, and don't force anything if it does not fit.

BOOK A READING WITH ME · LINKTREE · 18+ PATREON · SUGGEST A PAC TOPIC · TIPS ♡ tips and feedback are highly appreciated!

the 18+ version of this PAC is on patreon!

GROUP ONE

cards · ace of swords, two of swords, the hanged man, page of pentacles, king of cups (reversed), ten of swords. 

channelled songs · i don’t care by 2ne1. blessed with a curse by bring me the horizon. far by sza. nobody by miraa may. 

my dear group one ♡ your fictional other would have an immediate attachment to you. they feel like they're surrounded by people who are somewhat inferior to them, unable to hold a proper conversation with them or talk to them as an equal would. they're someone who may thrive on intellectual conversation, which may be at odds with how people perceive them. 

i’m thinking of a character like asmodeus from obey me, so your fictional other may be seen as somewhat airheaded, unintelligent, and self-absorbed. people may not make an effort to connect with them or get to know them beyond the superficial or surface level. yet, right from the start, you treat them differently. you don’t treat them as stupid. you speak to them as an equal - enthusiastically conversing about a shared interest with ease or without putting on any airs. 

you may be one of the only people who your fictional other feels comfortable around. more than anything, as a friend. they always feel like people want something from them or are only getting close to them because of how much they desire them. but because of how you treat them from the beginning, they have a lot of respect for you and feel at home around you. 

this also brings us to what your relationship with your f/o would be like. 

your fictional other may see you as a close friend. actually, as their closest friend. even though this is not just friendship for you and you also have romantic feelings for them. 

you two will spend a lot of time together, with the people around you joking about how attached at the hip you are. and about how funny it is that your f/o has just adopted you as theirs. 

you will likely keep your romantic feelings a secret for the longest time because you don’t want to ruin the friendship. however, you will finally admit your feelings and end up pushing them away. far, far away. they will feel betrayed - as if they lost the only person they could really trust and be themselves with. this confession will also make them overthink your entire relationship and wonder how much of what you were doing was only because you had romantic feelings for them. 

GROUP TWO

cards · queen of pentacles, ace of pentacles, wheel of fortune, seven of cups, strength, the fool. 

channelled songs · lettera a mio padre by ermal meta. candy drip by lucky daye. whoa by rakiyah. heat lightning by mitski. 

my dear group two ♡ there may be an age gap between you and your fictional other - for some, i’m getting that this is thousands of years. i’m not all too familiar with baldur’s gate, but some of you may be reading this pac with astarion in mind (who, if google is to be trusted, is about 200 years old). 

your fictional other thinks of you as an incredibly grounded and mature person. they see you as a person with a good head on their shoulders, who can be relied upon, and who makes a good addition to any team. 

this idea of the team seems so important, as if your fictional other doesn’t really keep people around unless they can provide them with something useful. a skill or resource, or anything else that uplifts and serves a purpose in their life, and in the grander scheme of things. if they saw you as deadweight - no matter how much they’ve come to like you - they would probably leave you behind or go out of their way to teach you something useful. this, too, would depend on how much they actually like you and the potential they see in you. 

but that’s not something you have to worry about, because your fictional other already sees you as a major asset. they already see you as someone they not only want by their side but trust to have by their side.

the relationship between you and your fictional other is honestly so sexually charged, with your f/o seeing you as not only an attractive person but a highly sensual one. i won’t be going into detail about this, but if you’re interested in the sexual relationship between you and your fictional other, there is an 18+ extended version of this pac now up on my patreon!

but! anyway! your relationship with your fictional other may be complicated for some time. there may be this overwhelming sexual and romantic tension for some time - from the time you first meet - but the dynamic of the relationship or your fictional other’s own emotional invulnerability may be keeping them from progressing the relationship beyond this. 

your fictional other will, in many ways, favour you. keeping space for you, buying you things, cooking things just for you - all of these things that can be seen as just something you do for a friend but is inextricably tinged with unspoken desire and love when they are done for you by your fictional other.

GROUP THREE

cards · the fool, three of swords, queen of swords, three of cups, the world, two of swords. 

channelled songs · shrike by hozier. two hearts and no brain by kane strang. drumming song by florence + the machine. high highs to low lows by lolo zouai. 

my dear group three  ♡ your fictional other may be inexperienced where love is concerned, though they are quite cocky, flirtatious, and love the idea of love. someone like sanji from one piece actually comes to mind. this is someone who feels mentally and emotionally challenged by you - in particular, you challenge their idea and past approaches to love and relationship, as well as the ways in which they view themselves. 

honestly, i’m getting a lot of overwhelmingly sad energy for this group, with your fictional other often wondering if they are good enough for you. even just good enough to be around you. 

they see you as someone who is as free-spirited as you are disciplined. they see you as someone who is intelligent, talented and fiercely independent, and they fear that if you see them for who they are instead of who they pretend to be you will immediately dislike them and not want to be around them any longer. so your f/o may walk on eggshells around you, putting on a show as they always put on a show - because, then, you will want to stick around for longer. 

your fictional other may put you on a bit of a pedestal, though to an extent it may be that they have such a low view of themselves. 

for what this relationship itself will be like, it will be a lot of fun. but it will also be lacking in a lot of emotional connection - something which seems to be a purposeful decision on your fictional other’s part. they think that as long as you are always having fun and keeping busy you can have a good relationship without having to get too close. or, more specifically, without you having to get to know them too well. without you ever having to see the real them. 

they will likely keep you laughing, always telling jokes and doing things to keep you entertained. 

travel and adventure is so important to your relationship with your fictional other, with you hardly ever just having a normal day. with you hardly ever just having a day to do nothing or relax around doing nothing. you will both like it this way, though, in many ways chasing after this excitement - not just together but likely with a group of friends or close companions. 

GROUP FOUR

cards · six of wands, four of pentacles, ten of wands, king of pentacles, two of pentacles, death. 

channelled songs · skip skip by purple kiss. not friendly by flo milli. every other freckle by alt-j. budget by megan thee stallion & latto. 

my dear group four ♡ in the nicest way possible, your fictional other comes across as quite pathetic. they may be someone who throws money around in an attempt to buy affection or someone who uses money to make up for their perceived flaws. though, in the same vein, i don't see your f/o as someone who focuses too much on their flaws - in fact, they may think that they're perfect - they've just always been taught that money has more power than anything else. and, if they want something, they can just throw money at it and get it. 

but this does not work with you. no matter how much money they throw at you, you can't be bought or swayed, which, in and of itself makes them cling to you. 

they see you as someone who is overconfident. you may be similar in this regard, though they do not see themselves like this at all. to them, you are someone who could benefit from more money (or jewels or gifts) so they don’t understand why you won’t just accept the things they are giving you. 

it’s kind of funny, because it’s probably the first time your fictional other has even thought this much about another person in their whole life. thus, they feel kind of overwhelmed by it. they wonder if you’ve gone through some kind of childhood trauma that’s made you like this. you pique their interest and they want to know everything about you. 

saiko metori from the disastrous life of saiki k comes to mind, so that may be who some of you are reading this group for. 

your relationship with your fictional other may be… complicated. they may obsessively pursue you - half because they’re genuinely intrigued by you and want to be with you and half because they feel a desire to own you. this desire to own you is driven by their upbringing and values; these values that tell him if they like something that means they have to own it. 

you may be attracted to this fictional other or like them enough to be friends with them, but as you get to actually know them you may for a time try to put distance between you two. even if only to sort out your thoughts about this person, this relationship, and where you want this connection to go. 

this relationship may change drastically after you put this distance between you, as this sends the message to your f/o that you are not ashamed to set boundaries and stand on them. after this, they may try their best to listen to you and communicate with you as two equals instead of a rich kid and the person they’re trying to woo. though at times they are doing this in a more obviously begrudging manner just because they don’t want to put distance between you again. 

This is so good! I love this idea! Fictional stuff is so underrated and I can't wait to see more if you ever feel like it! 💕🙏

❀☁ ʬʬ: what your fave fictional character would think about you!

hello ♡! i hope you've been well. i've conducted another tarot reading for you all today! it's been a while :) i included 6 piles to differentiate the energy a little more. today's tarot reading is a simple one, as always. this is to see what your favorite fictional character would think about you, if anything!

i've recently been really attached to my favorite fictional characters and comfort movies, like loki and whisper of the heart. i hope this can ease your fictional character-obsessed soul and grant you a moment of being delusional in peace ;) all photo creds go towards google/pinterest. please do not steal or reuse/repost my work! thank you :]

| pile one ♡

for whatever reason i sense this underdog story. this character has this peter parker-ish energy to them, also i’m hearing viktor from arcane for some reason!! ( i’ve never rlly seen that show though don’t boo me ) if there was ever a hypothetical universe where you guys met each other, they’d definitely see you as the light who helped take them out of the darkness. not in a knight of shining armor/you pulled them from the depths way, more in like a they were reminded of who they had to fight or live for and kept going because of that. they seem like a fighter and a survivor, someone who has been through hell and back ( the winchesters?$!?!!!! DEAN WINCHESTER?!’bnnbnn ?!!!?! ). majoorrrrr gwen stacy and peter parker vibes omg. you guys would be total sweethearts!! the kind of relationship everyone would be posting on their tl saying “me and who 🥸🥸🥸🥸🥸”. you and NO ONE stinky

you guys would LOOOVVVEEE playful banter and there would be sm friendly sarcasm. both of you are probably perfectionists and give off older sibling vibes. def trauma bonded but not in a toxic way, just like a nice lil connection that makes you both realize you’re not fighting this alone. there’s an understanding silence between you two. one of you could be having a bad day and the other know immediately and also know exactly what to do. i’m also hearing ellie from tlou. and joel lmao do you like this character bc you see yourself in them?? you guys mirror each other. you guys are gonna be there for each other through the THICK AND THIN. you’d definitely get friendzoned at first btw LMAO

| ✶ seiji's mixtape: “strawberries and cigarettes” by troye sivan, “consider me” by allen stone

| ✶ shizuku's notes: one and akin, mirrors, peaceful silence, chili hotdogs and pie/comfort foods

| pile two ♡

what's interesting with this pile is that i don't necessarily see much of their emotions towards you. just a vague throbbing in my chest that i can literally like. physically feel. something about you feels so lonely, so starved for a partner of any kind. and it's like you kind of idolize or worship this person. they probably mean so much to you, but if you ever met them i think you'd realize you don't really mean anything to them. i'm not getting much on their side, once again, but an indicator as to who they might be in case you're wondering if this is your pile is that they might be considering an "it" boy/girl/etc and they're a super popular and well-liked character. they don't have to be well-liked in their respective medias it's just like. giving. idk dave lizewski. no one liked him in kick ass but everyone likes him irl and stuff. i just don't think they'd ever be interested in being anything with you??

they'd probably appreciate the attention bc you seem to be very dedicated to them but they wouldn't fight for it like you would. you'd definitely have to sacrifice something to be with this person and i think that, at the end of the day, it wouldn't matter in the end either way. i do however see that this connection would've been a rebirth for you if you ever met them. either positively or negatively, it'd change you and help you reach a certain level of enlightenment. it just feels like this constant, confusing cycle of going through trying to sacrifice everything and everything for them over and over again until there's nothing good coming from it. be nice to yourself, pile 2.

| ✶ seiji's mixtape: “people are strangers" by the doors

| ✶ shizuku's notes: "did it all on no drugs/did all of this sober", alienated, young and naive, cassie from euphoria, broken plates

| pile three ♡

BYEEEEEE this was the most delusional one out of all the piles. and not delusional in a omg u just WISH ur fictional character would enjoy your company... like they actually would do all of this it was making ME delusional. getting more romantic vibes here, it could def be platonic but like. you both are so COWARDLY LMFAOOOO this is so funny i'm sorry. if you guys ever met it'd be like one of those annoying "they both felt too suffocated to tell the truth to each other.." romances that goes on for 10 seasons just to keep people hanging. for some reason i'm hearing QUEERBAITING so take that as you will. good omens and hannibal came up. def have some fruitcakes in this pile. you both think you can't have the other which is stopping you guys from going to each other!!!!!!! trust you'd have the tension and the pining you've always wanted w them ( if you do ) because they'd serve it EACH AND EVERY SINGLE TIME. i can just see you staring at them while they stare forward wondering, "when will they like me..." as the camera pans in from their moon-lit face to yours which is quote unquote "crestfallen". then you look ahead with a sigh and they look at you and wonder THE SAME THING with the SAME FACE.

enemies to frenemies to friends to enemies to lover?? friends to accidental making out to awkward friends to strangers to lovers???? bitch what the fuck get your problems sorted out for gosh darn sake. if i watched a show with you two together i'd rip my eyes out. people would definitely make edits of you guys on tiktok of the audio where it's like "you were a wonderful experience" and the other dude's like "you were... everything" and people wouldn't know where to put who because YOU NEVER CONFESSED OR COMMUNICATED SO WE DON'T KNOW HOW. some weird random ass sacrifice scene would happen at the end of the show and everyone would boycott everyone from the writers room for years to come lmfao or you'd get the happy ending idk depends on how much the writers like you. ed and stede ass mfs. you two would rule ao3 my god. probably would've been apart of the original elite tumblr horsemen lineup ( spn, sherlock, hannibal, doctor who etc ). hate you both

| ✶ seiji's mixtape: “brujas" by princess nokia, "slow down" by skip marley and h.e.r.

| ✶ shizuku's notes: the songs definitely represent both of ur personalities, black cat and golden retriever, high and low functioning depression duo, good omens, peter quill and gamora, good music taste, my fav pile btw ;)

| pile four ♡

i'm seeing the homeless ant meme in my head. at first that's how i thought they would see you, but i think that's honestly how they feel they're around you. you feel so divine yet so normal? something about you is really endearing and so easy to fall in love with and they wish that was them. they're definitely a more misunderstood character, or maybe they have super low self esteem. you are their lacy. or would be whatever i keep mixing the right grammar up in this pac forgive me bubs. but yeah something about you is so curious and twinkling and artistic even. you're so kind and grateful and you have a really nice smile. when you smile and look up at someone in awe it makes them so fucking jealous.

they'd probably hate you and some of them might show it, some of them might hide it and act like you don't bother them like that. but you do. i'm getting the feeling you have something they want. i'm thinking of that one stupid edit where harry styles sees obama kissing michelle obama and gets mad. you maybe would've had the attention of someone they always tried to impress or look for. it's like, the person they like used to be the face they'd look for in a crowd and after a while it'd be you with them. their fear is walking out and seeing you with everything they want. they'd never talk about it and don't intend to. they'd also sort of want to protect you, and they'd kind of think about you... like, a lot?? it's like they despise you but they wanna be you but they want you to want to be like them but they want you. gender envy or gender attraction ( is that a way to put it )!!!!??? yeesh. you'd probably be the reason for either their depression arc or their flop era LMAO so you're lucky they're not in this universe.

| ✶ seiji's mixtape: "lacy" by olivia rodrigo, "rhiannon" by fleetwood mac

| ✶ shizuku's notes: marienne and joe ( yikes ), lacy, problems, escape, never be good enough, confused, give me a BREAK!

| pile five ♡

"how can you be so sure?" "that's the thing with love. it's comfortable enough to just guess so."

okay. damn. if you ever met your fictional character, platonically or otherwise, you'd never want to let each other go, but i'm guessing you'd have to at some point. you guys would have the on-screen la la land romance. becoming jane is another good one i'm hearing. you guys would just know. maybe three weeks into it, maybe two years, maybe in half an hour. something would click and you guys would know that it could work. that something's there. that's why the quote i channeled seemed so direct, so sure. i'm guessing you were both smart enough to know nothing could from it in the end but you enjoyed each other while you could- or at least tried to. forbidden, star-crossed lovers? right person wrong time? SHEEEEESH i'd probably cry to a scene of you guys if this actually happened. the "NO! i will STAY!" scene from queen charlotte popped in my head. but one of you guys couldn't stay in the end soooooooo lolzies!!!! suckeerrssssss jk i'm so sad rn lmao i feel like how you guys would be in the end after the mist cleared. the soul tie that brought you guys together can be felt but there's this emptiness. it's so peaceful but sad. you both would've probably been better off after leaving each other. you'd be successful, one of you would've had a big family with many kids. a bakery might be significant? GIRL BYE WHY AM I THINKING OF PEETA MELLARK.

you both loved but you couldn't wait.. you both had to go!!!!!!! THIS HYPOTHETICAL FICTIONAL CONNECTION IS LITERALLY MY ROMAN EMPIRE DUDE....!!!! gonna be thinking about this in class tomorrow darn you guys. even if it's platonic it's like you guys could've been so happy by each other's side but you had to settle apart for your own dreams, for the better of something, just to balance a force in the universe. you were meant to be each other's just never together. fated but apart. THIS IS SO CHEESY BUT I'M LOWKEY GONNA CRY ABOUT THIS TONIGHT I CAN LITERALLY FEEL WHAT YOU GUYS WOULD'VE ENDED UP FEELING. i feel like a grandma sitting on my porch looking at the scenery wondering how they would've looked like if they were old. maybe they died but idk i'm getting the sense that you both would've been alive just. nowhereee near each other's vicinity or even in the same social class is what i'm hearing. this made me sad thumbs down

| ✶ seiji's mixtape: “witchcraft" by ben l'oncle soul, "waiting in vain" by bob marley

| ✶ shizuku's notes: "but, in the end, it's even easier to know you have to let go.", 1800s or old-timey settings, bridgerton, star-crossed, ill-fated, third-wheeling mishaps, accidents happen, forever apart even in death, minecraft cake

| pile six ♡

the way i KNEWWW this would be my partner in crime pile. you guys are so SILLY you'd either be shipped together or people would edit one of you out of every photo and replace it with like harry styles or shrek. people either hate or love the idea of you two. reigen arataka is coming through HOT. tax fraud enjoyers i see? you both probably enjoy the silly times and would be written as the comedic relief duo with either very obvious envious or homoerotic undertones. one of you guys are probably secretly manipulating the other or both of you are and it's gonna be revealed in one episode and backfire on the both of you greatly but it'll end up being a funny and well-documented moment on the internet so you reap what you sow i guess ( i have no idea what that quote means ). i'm hearing things i do not want to hear. neither of you understand boundaries or common sense but act like you do so you're literally perfect partners in crime. why do you both have an obsession with something obscure and probably severely unpopular for a good reason.

it's giving two secret furries who like when people pet their imaginary tail. you both disgust me actually. go get a job or something omg. at one point i think you'd end up trying to kill them??? or they'd try to kill you and you'd be like "hey that's,,, mean" and they'd feel bad and revive you. something is wrong with both of you and you guys either understand that and refuse to get help or don't understand that and refuse to see it. probably have seen each other nakey before on accident but passed it off as a casual bro thing because you both are losers who can't do confrontation. does one of you like yogurt? chobani flips maybe? whoever likes them would annoy the heck out of the other because they'd constantly be throwing yogurt cups everywhere and probs is a disgustingly messy eater. maybe plan your plans a bit better with each other before carrying them out bc they suck

| ✶ seiji's mixtape: "driving my love" by anri, "best friend" by laufey + (bonus!) "remember summer days" by anri

| ✶ shizuku's notes: mission: impossible but only because you guys suck at missions, pitbull, reaction memes, personal mixtapes, the losers ( lovers ) club, "what's new/good fartface" - "nothing much poopballs", japanese city pop

These fictional pick a cards are so good! And the idea is so unique. I can't wait to see what more you have in store 🙏💕

Pick a Ghibli Couple; Your fictional crush's first impression of you.

Pile 1

Cards; Knight of Cups, Knight of Swords, Ace of pentacles reversed, Queen of wands reversed, Temperance, King of pentacles.

Well Pile one. Your fictional crush is quite the....frilly, character. They're someone with a flair for the theatrics. They're probably a noble in their fictional universe. They're highly respected and have good social standing, they're quite prone to showing their emotions too. They may be moody or are prone to visible bouts of anger/frustration. They're comfortable with having people's attention and sometimes even demand/prefer it. They could have long flowing hair. Like to wear detailed outfits. Yes, they like to be well put together and they value their taste and often curate whatever they can to fit their style regardless of if they're rich or poor. This fictional world may be historical, if not this person very much focuses on tradition or 'culture' as a way of assesing someones respectability. They love having a good time surrounded by 'good' company no matter if they may be introverted or extroverted. I'm seeing for some people, their fictional crush is quite introverted and nonchalant but best beleive that this is all running through their head! This is supposed to be a reading about their first impression of you, but all that's coming through is them soo. Very proud person, very fixed in their ways. Big ego.

On to their impression of you. At first glance, they dismissed you as someone poor. You're not on the same level with them. No money, no prospects. Upon interacting with you, they'd think that you are a crafty kind of individual, one who's not above getting their hands dirty to reach your goals. It seems that they have a very clear categorisation of people in their heads; people like them, born to the high life and have gold and riches as their birthright and then the unworthies; people born poor who have to struggle to reach their level. Wooow, this person is very classist. It seems that to them no matter how much you may prove to be an amazing person, you're still not worthy in their eyes because you don't have the riches/highbirth. This character may be a contender in a struggle for power type of situation in their world, and recognises you as someone who would use your relations with them to better your own cause. They think you ambitious and balanced, despite all their reservations, they can recognise that you have what it takes. They particularly like your strategic approach, lying in wait, setting the perfect trap without letting anyone else know(damn, pile one!) and coming to collect your gains when the time is right. Later on, once they've come to know you better, they will grudgingly acknowledge you and all that you've managed to build for yourself. This would definitely be a sloooowww burrnnnnn.

Pile 2

Cards; Strength reversed, 9 of pentacles, The Moon reversed, 6 of Pentacles, The Hermit, 4 of Pentacles.

Hello Pile 2!! Your fictional crush is someone with a lot of responsibilty upon their shoulders, but they just want to have fun! They often shirk they're official duties to go out to the city and partake in their idea of fun. They're an easygoing person who appreciates a lot of what life has to offer. They could pay attention to the little things that nobody cares about, like they may have a special interest or a very limited attention span and keep constantly getting excited by things in their environment.

Their first impression of you is that you have nowhere to hide. Whoa! That's quite an assumption to make. Your ficitonal crush definitely thinks that they can see right through you at first glance. You could be a people pleaser, and put so much empahsis on catering to other peoples needs that you lose sight of who you are. You don't have a strong impression of exactly who you are. You feel this changes from time to time. The foundations you built your self concept on keep changing. Your fictional crush would see all of this. More accurately, they would see that this is the way you feel about yourself. They think that you are a withdrawn, intorverted person who holds tight to what they love. They would think that you are afraid of losing the people around you, and think you possessive over your owned items. As they get to know you more, they would think that you are someone with many hopes and dreams. This may sound strange to say, but they like to be inside your head. Thinking like you calms them, they may unconciously seek out your presence for this reason. I think you would become good friends. They could tend to use your feelings for them to their own advantage.

Pile 3

Cards; 10 of wands, 8 of cups, Knight of wands reversed, 7 of pentacles, The Magician reversed, The Emperor reversed, 6 of wands.

Welcome to your reading Pile 3! Your fictional crush is someone who is a hard worker. They've been burdened with purpose, all the while dealing with severe emotional heartbreak and loss. They have been at something for so long, they don't know who they are without it. They definitely give of soldier, leader and right hand man vibes. Dedicated to a cause. They may see themselves more of a tool than a person, or could be in the process of shedding such a mindset. Either way, they're tired and a lot of things are dependant on them; people, activities, institutions. They don't want to let anyone down. They could have a large frame and a blunt haircut.

Their first impression of you is quite shifty. It seems that they wouldn't know what to make of you. On the one hand, they may have information about you on paper, such as what you do, your wealth etc. But this paper impression of you is so different to meeting you in real life for them, its shocking. First of all, they see you as impatient, reckless and lacking the displine and commitment to follow through with your plans/promises. But then they also know that you have proof of your success because of your impressive track record. You may have unorhtodox methods of doing things that don't add up with them. I just heard stubborn old man so this fictional character could be an older person, and they don't understand your younger ways. For example, according to them to get rich you must get a degree build your network and invest a lot of time but you know your way around social media/the modern day interent and could get the same amount of money/influence much faster. They don't undertand that. Yes, they think you're misusing your skills. They'd also think you're a proud person. They think you're a lot to handle, you could also be connected to a certan lineage or something if you were in their universe and broke away so they see you as a bit of rogue. You break away from the structure. As they get to know you more, your different approaches to life would make them uncertain of who they are and what they've been standing for. They'll question things a lot more and will come to appreciate you unique take on things. They'll feel like taking back their initial slightly negative and judegemental impression of you and would try to really get to know you. To see who you truly are.

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That's all! If you liked this reading please consider rebloging and liking this post. Any feedback you have will also be very appreciated! Have a wonderful time wherever you are, until the next reading...bye!

Made of fire and stars🌠🔥 https://www.patreon.com/apofiss

Even if someone says nasty things about me, I don’t recognize their ill will toward me. I feel thankful that they are forcing themselves to say such difficult things for my sake.

Dazai Osamu, A New Hamlet

...I still wait for someone. Who on earth am I waiting for? For what sort of person? Maybe what I’m waiting for isn’t a human. I dislike humans. No, I fear them. When I meet someone and indifferently exchange such greetings as ‘How are you?’ or ‘It’s become cold,’ greetings I don’t want to make, I somehow get the unpleasant feeling that there is no such horrible liar in the world as I, and I wish I were dead. Also, the other people, too, are unduly wary of me and use diplomatic speech which tries very hard to be harmless and inoffensive, and relate their pompous, false feelings. As I listen to it all, I find their petty cautiousness deplorable, and the world becomes more and more unbearably odious. Are ‘people in the world’, I wonder, creatures that spend their whole lives greeting each other in stiff, formal patterns, being cautious about each other, then growing tired of each other? I hate meeting people.

Dazai Osamu, “Waiting”

how does your person view intimacy with you (18+)

i.

This could be someone you’re in a relationship with or someone who really loves you, whose really infatuated with you pile one, I’m hearing they go out of their way for you, they bend over backwards for you. To get to you. To see you. You could be a water sign or this person is a water sign. This queen of cups energy really has to do with emotions and being compassionate and caring but I also see it having a lot to do with you just having really good p*ssy or really good d*ck or something but im getting that a good amount of you are feminine energies and may be women. Someone would go to jail behind it, go to jail behind you. You might drive this person crazy this person is really impulsive about you and they aren’t like that for anyone else. You bring out a side of this person that’s reserved only for you.

I’m hearing this person saying you get them there everytime. I hear this person saying you’re magic or your body is magic. This person could have a lot of fantasies about you as well that has me thinking of that unreleased song by Ariana right now that’s really popular.

I fantasize about it all the time

If you were mine

I'd give this p*ssy to you, nine-to-five, five-to-nine

Try to behave, but I'm feelin' some type of way

That just ain't me

I’m kinda getting with the rest of the lyrics that some of you could be seeing someone else or dating someone else right now and this person might not have seen you in a while or they’re waiting around for you to break up with person so they can see you again. They just can’t wait to see you again. Idk this person feels like this person doesn’t deserve you. I hear them saying “they can’t f*ck you like I do.” Or like that song that goes “ya’ll don’t look right together. You look like mines forever.” This could be someone who really likes you, who could be want to be more with you but they kind of take you when you let them have you and they don’t ask for more because they don’t wanna look silly or they don’t want to look/feel ungrateful.

I see this person dissatisfied with anyone else they’ve been sleeping with or been talking to. They wanna indulge in you pile one. You could also be unhappy where you’re at as well you could’ve been receiving other messages and tarot readings talking about this person, you could’ve dreamt about this person recently or seen something they posted on social media and it got you thinking. I’m getting that there’s a lot of unfinished business with this person as well. The divine might have plans for the two of you or when you guys see eachother again they may have something they wanna say to you.

-

ii.

You and this person could share mutual attraction or mutual love for eachother. You or this person could be a fire sign. I’m getting a lot of fiery, passionate energy, I’m sitting here having hot flashes. This person could really enjoy kissing you or you really enjoy kissing this person. Lips are really significant this person may think you have really nice lips or even just have a really nice mouth. You can be really good at oral. I’m hearing this person thinks about getting head from you very often. They have flashbacks they start reminiscing. I’m getting this person may zone completely out in public thinking about you or the intimate moments you share and someone has to come in and snap them out of it.

Yes, this person really craves you I’m getting. Probably more than they can handle. This person may have a lot of stamina or may be hard to keep up with, you can keep up this person, you can match their energy and they really like that about you. I’m hearing you guys have very sloppy and passionate moments. I’m getting hot weather. Y’all could like to do it in public, broad day. Y’all like to get creative. You could know this person to be very easily aroused by you as well. Like they could just look at you and be ready to go because they’re just so in love with you. This person loves your face and your body. This person could be really attracted to your chest as well.

I’m hearing this person is ready to pop up on you, run to you at any moment of the day about the intimacy you have. I’m hearing any time, any place by Janet Jackson. I hear this person has really deep feelings for you pile two. They may try to keep themselves away from you because the relationship you share or the energy they hold on a regular basis can be really complicated or heavy and they don’t want to burden you with it. I see them trying to see other people or trying to fill the void you leave them with and nobody can do it like you do, like they don’t turn them on the same. Someone is saying you have a magic touch too. I almost typed magic trick. You can have a lot of tricks or be really skilled at the things you do. I’m hearing this person is so glad to have you like you make them feel like the man or a natural woman!!

Yes, you and this person may be in separation right now. Growing separately, releasing baggage and healing. This person could mean a lot to you or you mean something to this person. I see this person trying to keep themselves busy to try to keep their mind off of you. Sexually, emotionally. I see this person coming to you very respectfully the next time they see you though pile two. They don’t want you to get the wrong idea, they don’t want you to think they’re thinking of the wrong things or objectifying you because they see you as so much more than a body and the beauty you hold. This person holds something really sweet in matters of the heart for you pile two. It’s a win-win.

I see this person wanting to spoil you as well. This person could be really possessive over you as well. They don’t want anybody else to have you and their really serious about it.

-

iii.

I see this person having a lot of passion for you. Like I’m hearing it takes everything in them to hold back and not put it down on you or tell you how they feel, show you how they feel. I’m getting rocket by Beyoncé, let me sit this a** on you, show you how I feel. I see this person trying to be gentle and patient with you, trying not to impose anything on you or take you without you being sure and ready for that type of thing with this person. This person really values you, you could’ve known this person for a long time. They can think you very innocent or very fragile I’m getting and they don’t want to ruin that or take that away from you before you’re ready. You could be a virgin as well.

This person could tell their friends about how they feel about you, or really be in their heads about what they want to do to you or how much they wanna romance you. I’m hearing they feel like you know how they feel based on past interactions with them but because of some sort of situation between the two of you that’s caused a lot of stagnation and deep contemplation between the two of you , you don’t think anything of it or you don’t think they crave you the way they do. This person could secretly be very fit, this person could probably do a lot to you. lol idk why I’m getting “a lady in the streets, a freak in the sheets” idk this person may not reveal the way they get down in public or they keep it under wraps, or people may severely underestimate them but in reality they got that good good. If this person is a guy he’s got it going on if you know what I mean but not a lot of people know and people don’t think he does.

I’m hearing this person saying, “let me show you something.” They give the energy that they just wanna lead or they wanna take control and you follow their lead and go with the flow. Like they know what they’re doing. Aw, but I’m getting this person really wants to reconcile with you or apologize for something or make amends. Their really unhappy with the condition of you guys connection at the time. You guys could not be on talking terms or in separation. This could be a soulmate connection as well. I’m hearing “missionary cause his/her face is pretty.” Both of you could be generally very attractive people and well sought after. I’m getting there are people watching this person they have all these options but they’ve realized you’re who and what they want. This pile makes me wanna giggle. Like it’s so cute and sweet.

-

-

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Anxiety was trapped in the depths of my heart, like a formation of black clouds I could not break free of. By living this way, what will my fortune be? There is nothing. Am I simply a sickly man? I was staggered by these thoughts. What should I do? I had no direction, nothing. I though that this reckless life of mine was only a nuisance to others and devoid of meaning. This is quite hard to bear. A talented guy like you probably doesn’t understand, but no thought in the world is worse than the realization that, ‘My life is a nuisance to others. I am useless.’

Dazai Osamu, Pandora’s Box

𝔳𝔞𝔫𝔱𝔞𝔢𝔰𝔣𝔞𝔦𝔯𝔦𝔢 𝔪𝔞𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔩𝔦𝔰𝔱

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my pick a card readings : 

which aesthetics suit you

messages from your inner child

your dream sp (partner) vs. your fated one 

what unseen challenges will you be facing 

what do people think of you when you leave the room

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about the karma on your desired person

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𝔱𝔥𝔞𝔫𝔨 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔣𝔬𝔯 𝔳𝔦𝔰𝔦𝔱𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔪𝔶 𝔟𝔩𝔬𝔤! 𝔠𝔬𝔪𝔢 𝔞𝔫𝔬𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔯 𝔱𝔦𝔪𝔢 ;)

ᴅɪꜱᴄʟᴀɪᴍᴇʀ: © vantaesfairie — please do not plagiarize, translate, or repost any of my work on other social media platforms without my permission. if you see my work being posted anywhere else, please kindly report them to me. 

gamey game

i decided to open a game because alas i am too lazy to post a pick a card since forever sorries it just drains me too much to be dealing w so many people x pisces uranus

rules:

1. as usual please be respectful, OFF anon mode, polite, and i do not need to know your astrology signs 

2. be following me + reblogging my masterlist and this post too 

3. guess a fact about me based on my energy and NOT my blog (no nsfw, can be anything appropriate!) 

4. i will respond to your ask by answering 1 question of your liking per person (no nsfw, uncomfortable stuff will be deleted, no spirit guide questions) 

5. thank yew 

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phase 11 of bsd 15 manga done!

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links to everything important

shorter chapter but lots of dialogue! ty all <3

look at you

jealous!dazai osamu x f!reader | smut | 1.7k words

summary: dazai finds you, a drunk mess, flirting w chuuya while on one of your rare date nights. dazai comes up with a way to show you who you belong to.

warnings: drunkenness/inebriation, sex in front of a mirror, vaginal sex, cockwarming, thigh riding, cream pie, dirty talk, degradation, mild cursing, possessive behavior

a/n: oh, how i wish to be in this situation 🥺

18+ MDNI

Dazai tapped his foot against the carpeted floor of the jazz club, watching you from where he sat in the booth that he reserved for just the two of you. You were across the large, dimly lit room, at the bar, your hand lightly touching the red-head’s arm and your breath, undoubtedly stinking of the wine that Chuuya had sent over to your table, fanning across his face. Chuuya indulged in your touches and breathy whispers, truthfully only to piss Dazai off, but he’d be lying if he said he didn’t love the attention from a beautiful woman such as yourself.

Dazai narrowed his eyes at his former partner in crime as he watched him place a hand on your hip and trace an unknown pattern down your thigh. Dazai got the memo. You were drunk and Chuuya was trying to piss him off, but that didn’t stop Dazai from feeling a bit jealous. And he hated that he let himself feel this way.

Chuuya smirked once he noticed that Dazai was watching, moving his hand down your hip and to your ass, all while nodding sincerely at what you were saying.

“And he’s just so cute, y’know?” You whined softly, “Sometimes I just wanna take his stupid, beautiful, dumb ass face in my hands and kiss him all over.” You pouted once you realized Chuuya was looking elsewhere. “Can ya listen to me? ‘M gushing about my feelings, over here.” 

“Yeah, yeah, we all know how much you love that bastard.” Chuuya’s smirk deepened. Oh, if only Dazai knew who you were talking about while pressed up against another man. You turned your head to follow Chuuya’s line of sight but Chuuya quickly and smoothly reached to cup your cheek, successfully bringing your attention back to him.

“What’re you lookin’ at?” Your pout seemed to be cemented to your lips. Chuuya snorted a wry laugh and leaned in closer to you, letting his eyes flicker back over to where Dazai was sitting. Where Dazai had been sitting. He was now up and strolling over to where you and Chuuya sat at the bar.

“Listen, doll.” Chuuya lowered his voice to a whisper, demanding all of your attention. Your eyes were wide, cheeks rosy, and lips parted in anticipation. For the first time in his life, Chuuya felt a spark of envy for Dazai; he truly was a lucky bastard. “You wanna know how you could show Dazai your affection?” 

You nodded vigorously.

“Head home with him right now. I’m sure you’ve got a fun night ahead of you.” Chuuya released his hold on you and leaned back onto the bar just in time for Dazai to appear at your side. He cradled his wine glass, bringing it up to his lips to sip.

“Chuuya.” Dazai regarded the red-head, a smile on his face but eyes full of threats.

“Y/n was just gushing about you.” Chuuya drawled once he had finished his sip of wine. “Weren’t you, darling?”

“Oh, pet names! How cute.” Dazai quipped, wrapping his fingers around your waist and easily bringing you up to a standing position. “Honey, I fear you’re far too drunk to be around Chuuya. We’re going home.”

You let yourself be squeezed into Dazai’s side, laying a hand across his chest and peering up into his eyes. They were calmly looking back at you, but a part of you felt like you were in danger. The thought alone sobered you up in an instant, although your head was still swimming from the alcohol, and you felt your face heat up. 

You squeaked out a farewell to Chuuya, which Dazai did not reciprocate, and you were out into the brisk evening air, which did its job of completely sobering you up. The cold threatened to nip at your skin, but Dazai had already taken off his coat and draped it over your shoulders, quickly moving to replace his hold on your waist once you were warm.

The walk to your shared apartment was silent, save for the taps of you and Dazai’s shoes against the pavement.

“Are you mad?” You tested the waters once Dazai had slid the key into the keyhole of your door, hoping your voice was just soft enough to bring out any sort of affection from Dazai. 

“Why would I be mad, sweetheart?” He held the door open for you to walk into your apartment first, before letting himself in and shutting the door behind him.

“Because I was drunk and may or may not have gotten too close to Chuuya.” You shrugged off Dazai’s coat and laid it carefully across the bed. The silence that enveloped you while you took off your shoes made you nervous, and your fingers trembled as you struggled with the zipper of your dress.

Dazai moved over to you and gently moved your hands out of the way, unzipping your dress in one languid motion.

“You were drunk?” Dazai accentuated the past tense.

“I mean, yeah, couldn’t you tell?” You laughed lightly, hoping to brighten the mood. You moved over to the full length mirror in front of the bed, getting to work on taking off your jewelry. Dazai once again brushed your fingers away and took it upon himself to undo the clasp of your necklace, and then your bra, and set them both on the bed.

You watched Dazai in the reflection of the mirror, shivering as two of his fingers hooked themselves in the hem of your underwear and brought them down your legs to pool at your feet. He placed a searing kiss to the nape of your neck, fingers lingering just below your navel.

“What a pretty little thing.” Dazai murmured against your skin, in between kisses. “I wish something as pretty as you could belong to someone like me.”

You rolled your head to the side, closing your eyes and indulging in the feeling of Dazai’s teeth scraping against your skin. “I’m yours, Daz, you know that.”

“Do I?” Dazai moved his fingers to your pubic bone, lightly caressing the skin there. Even though it was the slightest of touches, you couldn’t help but moan. “A reminder wouldn't hurt, hm?” Dazai mused. He moved his fingers lower until they were skimming over your clit, eliciting another moan from you. Dazai continued to run his fingers over your clit, gathering as much of your arousal as he could, while he worked on unbuckling his pants and letting them hit the floor.

He sat down at the foot of the bed, guiding your waist to make you sit down on his thighs. He hooked your legs around his and spread his legs so that yours spread to, exposing you to the cold air of your apartment.

“Look at you, my little slut all opened up and leaking for me.” Dazai moved your chin so that you were facing forward completely, forcing you to look at yourself in the mirror. He brought up his fingers, webbed with your arousal, in front of your face. “This belongs to me.” He spread your pussy lips to show your clit and the pink of your vulva, as well as your leaking entrance. “This too.” He placed another kiss to the spot between your shoulder and neck, sucking for a bit before pulling away. 

The teasing was getting to you, and the only thing on your mind was getting fucked by your lover until you couldn’t walk anymore. You tilted your pelvis down and began to slide your pussy against Dazai’s thigh, softly whimpering at the pleasure from the contact.

“Is my little slut desperate for my cock?” Dazai smiled sickly at the jolty movements of your hips grinding against his thigh. You managed to whine out a confirmation. “You know I can’t resist my needy little whore.” Dazai grabbed your hips and coaxed you to stand up before bringing you back down on his cock.

You hissed at the sensation of being stretched out by him, your walls squeezing around his cock to try and find some stabilization. 

“The way you’re squeezing me, honey, that belongs to me, too.” Dazai’s hands moved up to your chest, squeezing and pulling at your nipples while allowing you to warm his cock.

“Daz…” You huffed out. “Please…move.”

“You want me to do what, sweetheart?” Dazai continued to pinch at your nipples with one hand and moved his other hand down to start rubbing at your clit. Your pussy squeezed down on his cock from the stimulation and it was his turn to moan; he didn’t know how much longer he’d be able to hold out.

“Fuck me, Daz. Please.” You begged, opening your legs to allow Dazai’s fingers as much access as possible to your clit. You dared not look at yourself in the mirror, since you could imagine you’d only see the desperate mess that you currently were.

“Only if you can tell me who you belong to.” Dazai panted, trying not to focus on the feeling of your arousal running down his cock and leaking out around it.

“Yours. I’m yours, now please—” You were cut off by a strong upward thrust from Dazai, immediately seeing stars as the tip of his cock bullied your cervix. You had nothing to hold onto as Dazai thrusted in and out of you, and you briefly wondered if the vigor of his thrusts was going to make you fall down. The slight pain you felt on your hips from the bruises that Dazai’s fingers were undoubtedly going to leave reminded you that he wouldn’t let you fall off his cock. Not while he was fucking you like this. 

The only sounds in the room were the squelch of your pussy milking Dazai’s cock, and your huffs combined with Dazai’s, until a loud moan finally broke the monotony when Dazai came. The feeling of sticky, wet warmth covering your walls had you cumming right after.

You were both silent as you caught your breath, Dazai’s cock still inside of you. You chanced a look at yourself in the mirror, unable to look away from Dazai’s cum leaking out of you. Movement behind you caused you to look up and your eyes met Dazai’s in the reflection of the mirror as he wrapped his arms around your waist and rested his chin on your shoulder.

“Look at you, you pretty little thing.” 

“Your pretty little thing.”

date. april 8th, 2023

time. 8:59pm

—❝𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐄 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐒 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐃.❞

𝐬𝐲𝐩𝐧𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐬. FUTURESPOUSEPAC . . . a message from them.

𝐚𝐢𝐝. if the images above are too hard to differentiate between your intuition, use ‘pile 1, 2, 3, or 4’ for the choice selection instead. this reading has four piles. pic not included.

𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐫. 18+ content—no minors. please remember, this post is just for shits and giggles. use the best of your discernment, pinch that grain of salt. and although i write under the impression that majority of this content’s viewers are women, i do read for feminine and masculine energies. if needed to, please flip the roles as reversed for an accurate message. hope this reading is useful, but not for plagiarism bitch. enjoy.❦

𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐞

🃏 movement retrograde. sweetness retrograde. faith. rest.

𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐞

✞—. “i want it whenever i can get it. idc who’s around, i don’t give two shits about who’s looking. you’re the only person i ever want to have and knowing that i can have it? whenever we want? broad day, pitch black at night, at a park, at a concert, in the car it doesn’t matter and it never will. im going to shove my dick so far into you it’s going to come out of your mouth, that’s how carnal i am for you. my soul burns for you, im running off of petroleum gas at this very moment. you’re a diamond in the fucking rough. i mean, the faces you make when you cum are just . . . im so pleased, so blessed to have you as mine. to call you my lover, my one and only—not many have the pleasure of doing so, but i do.”

✞—. “i’d run ass naked up and down the street just to proclaim my feelings for you. you’re divine, you’re special, you make my crotch tight and my cheeks warm. i’d fuck you for hours upon hours, just to hear your moans. the same moans that remind me of the melody to a favorite song, the one i’ll keep on repeat because i never want them to end. keep your eyes open during sex, i want you to watch me have my way with you. to see the things i do to your body, the same things that make your insides twitch. moving back and forth, up and down, all around and through nirvana just to end it all in rehab. you’ll never want me to go, and i never will. i’ll even stay inside for a few minutes after, because i don’t want to leave us either.”

✞—. “i love you, but above that i lust eternally for you. love is nothing for us, but only because it was always a given—i’ll never stop loving you. it’s just during sex, the way i want to give all of my strength and trust into it, that’s something vulnerable for me. something different and new. but i’m willing to share that, without complaint too, because you’re mine. one person made special just for me, it’s natural that i show my appreciation. i want you to feel the way i feel for you, but through my actions more than my words. understand our connection with each act of pleasure i bring upon you, so on and so forth.”

✞—. “i’m always available to make love, to fuck—to tangle the sheets and wring out the perspiration from our bodies. making you cum constantly—endlessly, without losing stamina and without the thought of it having to end. scream for me, cry for me, moan for me—most of all, cum for me. do all those things and more doll, and promise to never stop.”

end.❤️‍🔥

previous reading

𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐰𝐨

🃏 passion retrograde. creativity. abundance. confidence.

𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐞

✞—. “give me that pussy. that sweet, tight, warm cunt. i want it all over me—my face, my thigh, hell even my stomach, i don’t mind my love. i’ll be gentle, whether that’s taking it nice and slow or hard and fast—whatever pace you need. don’t ever be afraid to tell me what you desire, or better yet, take control of me because it’s yours. my cock has your name printed on it in red ink, signed by yours truly.”

✞—. “the sight when you’re naked, the swell of your breasts down to the curve of your thighs, it makes my heart clench. even the tips of your feet get me going. never stop riding me, lock your legs around my waist and bounce on me all damn day. cum in my mouth, cum on my clothes, cum on my fucking face—i’ll eat it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. you’re gorgeous, but even more so outside of the sex. i don’t care what people say, i don’t give a damn about what they think either. it’s you that i want and i want you right here, right fucking now.”

✞—. “strip for me, baby. pull off your shirt as i watch with my thick cock in hand. unclasp your bra, slide the straps from your shoulders, let it tumble to the floor. i’ll gasp at the gentle bounce of your breast, in awe at their beauty, before attacking them with my mouth. you’re my inspiration, the blueprint of the world’s desires. made for us—we all want a part of your essence to bring home for bragging rights. want to see your body shine under the spotlight, showcasing as aphrodite’s favorite, nothing but glitter and gold. on display as heaven’s angel. stand just like that so you’ll never fall.”

✞—. “show the others what they’ll never touch, the parts of you that they’ll only be able to dream of. the same parts that i’ve been trusted enough to feel, to love and appreciate. yes . . . like that baby, don’t stop. show me how much of a blessing it is to have the emulation of a goddess at arms length. how much of an honor it is, keeping the place that’d be gone and up for grabs if you decided to cut me loose. i won’t fuck this up, at least not again. i know what i have, and i’ll always need it in order to survive. you.”

end.❤️‍🔥

previous reading

𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞

🃏 happiness. intuition. magic retrograde. illumination retrograde.

[tw — somnophilia] this is a channeled scenario from your person, but if this theme isn’t comfortable for reading, my best advice is to choose another pile. kisses!

𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐞

✞—. “i watch you sleep, you know. it’s hard not to, hearing the soft breaths escape your lips as the shadow of peace drapes upon your face. bathed in the comfort of being home, you’re content at last. sleeping, embracing the idea that nothing could interrupt the state of winding down. nothing at all—except me. fingers tracing along the hem of your underwear, dancing across the design pattern, before pulling the band of them and letting it pop against your skin. it’s kinda funny—more adorable if anything, the flutter of your lashes at the slight sting below your abdomen.”

✞—. “i do this all the time, or at least when it’s essential. when we’re both aware of how much you need it, i’ll tease away the sleepiness until it’s desolate and gone. you’d never guess it was real, the heat from an open mouth as it warms the center of your panties. that same mouth, dampening the fabric before placing sloppy kisses along the seams. you’ll whimper, tossing and rubbing as you’re mindlessly wondering what the hell kind of dream is this? why does it feel extra real, and why are your hands thrashing to grip at the pillows?”

✞—. “mmm, mmhm,” will fall from the lush of your lips, disrupting the quiet of the night with natural reaction. you’re spurring me on, you little minx. encouraging me to keep going, urging me to fuck with your innocence some more. to turn vulnerability into utter rapture. and i will baby, of course i will. you’ll be conscious at this point, blinking more than twice for obvious reasons, seconds before your face turns into disbelief and tempted half lids. feels good, doesn’t it? i know it does, you don’t even need to utter a word—that moan’ll suffice.”

✞—. “teasing becomes eating, eating until we’re impatient for the rest, until you’re frustrated from not being stuffed full with the other parts. oh yeah, baby—you’re definitely awake now. up and at ‘em, waiting for me to finish what’s began, waiting for me to send your precious body to sleep once more.”

end.❤️‍🔥

previous reading

𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐫

🃏 caution retrograde. trust. isolation retrograde. mystery.

𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐞

✞—. “our kisses, the taste itself, intoxicate the sobriety of my mind. your mouth, placing the sweetest of sins against mine. i’m left to fend for myself, to stand on trembling legs, stumbling around the reality that is us—proceeding with caution. those lips, diluted in gloss or whatever else that has them shining brighter than a star. drenched in angel dust, sprinkled from the fingers of God himself, urging me to come and get blessed. and blessed i be, for i never want these moments to end.”

✞—. “i can’t stop thinking about those sounds, those kitten mewls that send my brain cells into overdrive. can’t forget the trail of poised hands rubbing and wrapping around my neck to pull me closer. you’re incredible. the sweetest thing since candied apples, just as you’re hell on earth. damn you, damn this feeling. damn the air thickening around us, damn the temperature rising in time with our heartbeats. i feel my chest concave when you go, the same way i feel it inflate when you walk into the room. engulf me with your presence, take me and never let me go—don’t let the others take me from you.”

✞—. “i want to be attached to your hips just as my hands are, how they know where home is when they grab at your waist and pull you in. pushing you against my abdomen to give your own hands some room, to let them run over the hem of my zipper before pulling away. i’d offer to finish the job for you, to fling my shirt and pants to the floor, but that’d ruin the fun wouldn’t it? the fun behind the tease, the persona of being daddy’s girl—spoiled and bratty, naughty not nice.”

✞—. “hard as hell to tame, but that’s the excitement itself. eyes going slender and sultry, bottom lip being bitten, hair tossed to glance over one shoulder—i feel ill, hot flashes and stomach turns, because you’re my kryptonite. tbh, you take all my breath away and funnily enough, i don’t want it back. it’s an eye for an eye, swapping out my oxygen for your full devotion. as long as i’m with you, i’ll never need to breathe again. to have and to hold forever.”

end.❤️‍🔥

previous reading

Character AI Crack Ft Dazai Osamu

I don't know if this something he should be proud of

Damn Bro speak facts

Ignore my soul but AHHHHAHAHHA BRO WHY TvT

Do tell me if you want for other characters or Part 2 of Dazai

Listen. LISTEN. “A life in which you have someone to say goodbye to is a good life. If your farewell to that person is very painful, there is nothing more to say.” The fact that it’s Dazai of all people saying this strikes me. Dazai is someone characterized by the fact that he does not see the value in living life. He does not find anything in the world to be worth living for. He’s tried to commit suicide time and time again because, to him, life simply offers nothing substantial enough to justify the experience of living it.

And yet. By saying those words, he implicitly tells Oda that his life was a good one. Not just passable, not just alright, not just tolerable, but good. His life was a good one because Oda is the person that he has to say goodbye to, because saying goodbye to Oda like this is very painful to him. Even though, in this universe, Oda hates him, even though Oda considers him an enemy, even though Oda says he has no right to call him ‘Odasaku’ - Dazai still says his life was a good one, simply because Oda existed in it.

sometimes i remember

“Nothing in this world can fill the hole that is your loneliness. You will wander the darkness for eternity.”

“Awaken me from this oxidizing world of a dream.”

That was when Dazai first realized: Sakunosuke Oda understood him much more than he’d ever imagined - right up to his very heart, almost to the center of his mind. Dazai didn’t realize until then that someone had know him so well. 

“Be on the side that saves people,” Odasaku replied. “If both sides are the same, then choose to become a good person. Save the weak, protect the orphaned. You might not see a great difference between right and wrong, but… saving others is something just a bit more wonderful.” 

“How do you know?”

“I know. I know better than anyone else.” 

Dazai gazed into Odasaku’s eyes and saw a glow of conviction. It was clear that those words were supported by some sort of strong basis. Wheter it was past experience or someone’s advice - Odasaku was trying to show Dazai the path he himself had once tried to walk. 

Dazai knew that. 

That was why he could bring himself to believe it. 

Asagiri kafka, “Osamu Dazai and the Dark Era”

So cute 🥰🥺

Stray Cat Dazai 🐱

This is how I see Dazai got picked up by Oda–

The Day I Picked Up Dazai - Side A (2)

Links to Parts: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Final

Continuation from Part 1.

This is from Side A of the Dazai novel which was given out as free bonus for those who come to the cinema to watch the BEAST live action movie in Japan.

Please carefully read the notes below before progressing.

- This post contains spoilers. It is not a summary, but a full translation of one part of novel. So if you plan to read the novel later yourself and think this would ruin your expectation, please stop here.

· I tried to keep the translation as accurate as possible, but as I don't speak English or Japanese as my native language, I may make some mistakes or use weird words etc. This translation might not be final. I may come back and fix it later if I find any mistakes.

· This is a moviegoers-only benefit, so please be extra careful when discussing it about on Twitter. Use a #spoiler tag on your tweets or your fanarts. You can share the links to this post but don't take many screenshots.

· Don’t retranslate it. [UPDATE MAY 9, 2023] You can retranslate it but please keep in mind that my translation is not perfect and some meanings will be lost through re-translation. If you are not sure about the meaning at any part, please let me know! Don’t repost this translation anywhere else out of Tumblr.

· DON’T GO TO THE AUTHORS’ OR OFFICIAL TWITTERS TO COMMENT ABOUT THE CONTENTS OF IT.

I'm sorry if that's too much but honestly all I want is for everyone to have a good experience, for those who wants to read the novels to be able to read the novels, and for those who don't want to be spoiled, to be safe from it as much as possible.

If you have read and are okay with all the above, please continue to move forward and enjoy the novel. Have a good day!

...

Dazai is a strange guy in every possible way.

His eyes remind me of a burnt black cat, his build reminds me of a burnt black cat, his presence reminds me of a burnt black cat. He has a tone that sinks into the abyss of the spirit, and deep, dark eyes that seem to hold the conviction that the sun will never rise again. He is a man of few words. And his voice has the sound of severance that rejects mutual understanding from the very beginning. No one could understand him. No one ever will. And he himself knows that very well. That kind of voice.

It seems true that he wants to die. It seems that all the value standards of living reflected in his eyes are just as worthless and ugly as scrap iron. I don’t understand why. Perhaps the day when I understand will never come. He seems to know that too.

That is why he wants to go outside. The only way to quickly end the pain of his wounds and achieve his desired “big sleep” is to leave my house. However, he is even cut off from death, because I prevent him from escaping.

And that is when Dazai decides to complain about my existence to the very end. He actually has a lot of complaints, about meals, sleep, and other pastimes. One after another, he will find faults in my nursing, criticize, and roast me in the most disparaging way possible. There is nothing that can escape his criticism. He is simply a tyrant. I could have whimpered like a nine-year-old girl.

However, I am actually fine. Because I know that Dazai’s criticism is nothing more than an act he put on to serve his purpose. To discourage me. To depress me through and through, until I’m sick of him and kick him out of my door like I don’t care anymore. That will be his victory. So, I am fine, no matter what I am told. In reality, he must have been very impressed with my proper and adequate nursing.

For example, it goes like this.

“Hey you! The porridge is hot. I can’t eat it like this!”

“Hey, it’s really too hot. You know I can’t use my hands because I’m tied up right?? No no, I told you. Stop forcing it into my mouth… It’s hot! It’s hottttt!”

“I’m eating, I’m eating! Don’t bring another one! Arghhh! Wait… can’t move…. Gyaaahhh!! It’s in my eye! It hurts! It’s hot!! It hurts!!!!!”

“Come on. The toilet is limited to twice a day? Do something about that, won’t you? Even Port Mafia’s prisoners have a little more freedom.”

“Hey, I told you to deal with the boredom, but reading books to me? It’s not something you do with someone this age, you know? And it’s all the same book. And it doesn’t have the last few pages so I don’t even know the ending! Is this torture? A new type of torture?”

Very realistic acting.

I ignore him and just continue with my nursing.

My dedication pays off. After a few days, the young man’s eyes are all dead and exhausted. He speaks in a faint voice.

“I can’t… get through to him. This guy… He is a natural airhead.”

I don’t really understand what he means by it, but after that, Dazai has become more obedient to what I say.

From then on, Dazai changes his strategy. Instead of complaining about the daily nursing, he starts to make very specific demands about food, especially the ingredients. I suppose he wants me to give up. But I am a man of patience and consistency. And I am also a practical person who believes that someone whose hands are wrapped around like that needs a proper distraction. I then become an amiable cook.

His first request is for pufferfish’s organ sashimi. That is a rare ingredient. I go to the fish market to look for it, but the owner there tells me, “Are you stupid or what?” so I give up. Next is grilled amanita virosa. It is a kind of mushroom. The white and beautiful one I heard. This time, I also walk around the mountain to search but I can’t find any. Since the locals never eat this type of mushroom, I thought there should be quite some left in the mountain. What a pity. When I end up serving him the stir-fried dish made from the wild vegetables I happen to find on the way back from my search, Dazai looks at me with grudgeful eyes as if he is going to kill me, while saying “It’s delicious.”

The last dish is potato sprout salad. This one is just ingredients, so it is easy to get. However, I don’t have enough time to wait for them to sprout and get enough of them, so I have no choice but to serve them to him as a sandwich, instead of a salad. Dazai is strangely happy to eat it, but later that night he vomits a lot, while writhing in pain “It is not enough…!” To want to eat something even if it makes him vomit like that, he must like it a lot. It is a moment of hard work paid off for me.

(TN: In case you haven't realized it, everything Dazai requested above is super poisonous and can kill you if you eat them. xD)

On another day, I got this kind of complaint.

“You know, I understand very well that you don’t have any other intention rather than treating me.” Dazai says, flapping his two arms that have finally become free. By the way, his two legs are still tied to the bed. “But I have too much free time! No reading, no phone calls, no video or radio broadcast whatsoever, only some music from those records! I have memorized so many songs that I can start performing tomorrow. You really don’t have anything else? Any real entertainment?”

“No.”

“What’s with the immediate answer…? What on earth do you usually do living in this house?”, Dazai looks at me with a frightened face.

“Then how about playing a game?” I sit down on the chair in the room. “The people who lived in this house before happen to leave behind a deck of cards.”

“I know. It was left on the bookshelf.” Dazai makes a suspicious face. “But I’m not ten years old. Playing cards alone doesn’t make an entertainment at all.”

“I see… Then let’s bet on something?” I says as I take the cards out of the box.

For a second, Dazai’s eyes shine sharply like a blade. “Hmm. But do you even have anything to bet on? You don’t look like you have that much money.”

It is true. I don’t have that much money.

“Then how about this?”, I take out a chess board from the shelf and place sixteen white pieces and sixteen black pieces in front of us. “These are going to be our chips. We will play poker with them as our stakes. Texas Hold’em Heads Up rule. Opening bet is one piece. There is no upper limit. If you manage to win my whole bankroll of sixteen pieces, I will give you the right to freely leave this house.”

“Eh?” Dazai narrows his eyes. “Are you sure about that? You have quite some confidence there. So what if you win? Should I give you all my hidden assets too?”

“There is no point in using something that is not here right now, as I have no way to confirm things like your assets and such.”

“These fake notes then…”

“I absolutely don’t need that.” I push back the wad of notes that Dazai just takes out. “Let’s see. How about revealing one of your secrets every time you lose sixteen pieces?”

“Secret?” Dazai chuckles. “You did give it some thought, didn’t you?”

That is a suggestion based on my selfish calculation.

The problem now is that there is a chance Dazai will come back for revenge after he is healed and released from here. And there is nothing I can do to prevent that. There is no wall in this world that can resist the fierce retaliation of the Port Mafia. I need some kind of insurance. At least something that looks like an insurance. If I can get just a little bit of information about this identity, his secrets, his intentions, it can be helpful in preventing that to happen. Of course, even if I hear his secrets now, there is no way for me to confirm them. That is why it’s only for the ease of mind. If I can get more than one secret out of him, that ease will deepen somewhat.

“Haha, interesting. You are thinking of taking a bunch of secrets from me?” Dazai smiles a distorted smile. “It has been so long, since someone has been so determined to win against me.”

“I’m glad you got in the mood.” I say as I deal the cards. “Ready?”

“Anytime you wish.”

Two cards are dealt in front of me and two cards in front of Dazai, all facing down. Before I deal the next card, Dazai says, “You seem like a fair person. So, I will tell you a trick.”

“Trick?”

“The one who suggested this game were you, but the one who guided you to it was me.” Dazai looks at me with deep tranquil eyes. “I already confirmed that there were playing cards on the shelf, and there seemed to be nothing else to pass the time. We both had little to bet. It was obvious that we would settle with the conclusion that we should bet on my freedom. If it were another conclusion, I would just make a bigger fuss. And just like that I was able to draw out the game I desired from you.”

“I see.” I stare at the expression on his face. “Then it means you also expect to win?”

“Yeah.” Dazai says with a smile that seems to glimmer in the darkness. “This kind of game, I have never lost once.”

There is no hint of bluff or humor. He is serious.

“That is why” Dazai says as he pushes the first bet piece forward. “You will not get to hear a single secret from me for eternity.”

30 minutes later.

“The passcode for Port Mafia’s emergency armed vault is…7280285E.”

Dazai speaks with his dead face on the desk.

“You have so many secrets.” I speak in admiration.

“Of course I do! I’m the head of the special force under Boss’s direct command.” Dazai bawls out. “Argggh what the heck is going on? There goes most of my personal information. It’s humiliating!!!”

This is the eighteenth game, and I have won all of them. His address, his subordinates’ skills, time of joining the Mafia, total amount of money he has on hand, what he does in the organization, his favorite food, location of secret vaults, the fact that his current boss called Mori was once an underground doctor etc.

All the eighteen secrets Dazai have told me are so out of the ordinary that I can’t help but believe he is really an important person in the Port Mafia. In fact, I probably have heard too much. There are not many people on earth who know the background of Port Mafia’s boss – Yokohama’s Taishan Fujun. (TN: Name of a God in China, who is said to be in charge of the life and death of mortal beings on earth) The number of people who are still alive after learning about that is a different story.

Dazai puts his face down on the desk in despair. He sure did have a lot of confidence.

“You… cheated, didn’t you?”

Dazai stares at me, his gaze as sticky as mud. I tilt my head.

“Cheated?”

“I noticed it halfway. That’s a skill. You used some kind of skills to foresee how the games will unfold. I let my guard down at first because I thought skills wouldn’t work on me. But if you have used your skill not on me, but on the place itself, then that would explain that disgusting foreseeing of yours.”

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to hide it.” I speak as I sort out the cards.

My skill allows me to look into the very near future. Not less than 5 seconds, not more than 6 seconds from the present. That’s why I am able to see everything, from the next development of the game, the next stake to be made, to the next card that will come out. On extremely rare occasions, during months when I am in a tight spot for money, I will go to the casino and use this skill of mine to grab some easy money and go home.

“It sure was not fair.” I honestly admit. “Just like you, I have never lost in this kind of gambling before. Let’s void this game. From the beginning, I just wanted to help you kill time.”

“We can’t void it!” Dazai looks at me with protesting eyes. “We can’t even if we want to! If what we bet on was money, you would just need to return it to me in full. But I gave you information! You know that you don’t lose information even if you return it, right? What else can you do? Can you completely forget everything that you have heard and seen at will?”

“If that is the only way, then I will try.”

“Hahhhh???” Dazai looks so tired. “Your jokes are not funny. After all, you are always saying them with a straight face. Somehow I can’t take them as jokes at all.”

I tilt my head. “I didn’t mean to make a joke though…”

“’kay kay.” Dazai turns to the side with a sulky face. “Argg damn it, Mori-san will scold me for leaking so many organization’s information.”

I give it some thoughts then ask, “Who is that… Mori-san?”

Dazai looks astonished. “You really… forgot it?”

…..

That one scene from "The Day I Picked Up Dazai"

The way Tumblr won't let me check my notifs unless I create posts 🙄