The Realization Slowly Seeps In, That No Matter How Hard We Try, Its Always The Flaws That They Pay Heed

“The realization slowly seeps in, that no matter how hard we try, it’s always the flaws that they pay heed to. Somehow you can’t explain your feelings verbally, and somehow they don’t ever try to see past you.

Cause even after all the efforts to put it out, the heart still cowers and stays hidden within—Heavy with all the unsaid guilts, and a love unreached.”

𝑫𝒆𝒈𝒓𝒆𝒆𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝑳𝒆𝒘𝒅𝒊𝒕𝒚 𝑴𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕-

𝚆𝚑𝚒𝚝𝚗𝚎𝚢 𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝙱𝚞𝚕𝚕𝚢-

Silent confessions

Whitney Theory time

𝙹𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚊𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝙿𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚜𝚝-

Jordan's Corruption

𝙺𝚢𝚕𝚊𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝙻𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚛-

The butterfly effect

𝙱𝚊𝚒𝚕𝚎𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝙲𝚊𝚛𝚎𝚝𝚊𝚔𝚎𝚛-

Smoke and Mirrors

"To the other half...”

"How many masks remain to fall;

before I see the real you?

How many secrets are yet to be revealed,

before the trust in me breaks into two?

I've seen you change more colours;

than there existed in rainbows.

I see, you've been writing our story for awhile;

drawing it to an early close.

You gave me a thought to dwell on;

painted in solitary blue.

I sigh, as I look at my heart;

along with all the memories, you took the other half with you"

Since it’s Christmas, I had this fic floating around in my mind for sometime. So here’s [Redacted]’s Christmas Miracle. A little Christmas present for my fellow 14 days with you enthusiasts ^^

(This wonderful visual novel and characters belong to -@14dayswithyou )

[Redacted] x GN Reader

Word count- 1541 words

[Redacted]’s Christmas Miracle

It was Christmas Eve. The chilling air danced around [Redacted’s] form, biting and nipping at his exposed nose and ears. All his piercings felt cold on his face, numbing it in a way he liked.

He trudged towards the downtown bar, inconspicuously following a raucous group of friends from a safe distance. He didn’t have a hard time blending with the shadows, for he believed he had quite a forgettable appearance.

Sighing, he dumped a paper bag filled with contact lenses, hair extensions, and bar equipment into his black bag. He had lost count of the numerous personalities he had perfected and put on in the past few months.

[y/n]’s tastes kept changing as they went through phases, and he went along with their every preference, trying to fit into their fantasies and become someone that Angel noticed. [Redacted] would go to the ends of the earth for his Angel but the last personality was sure a pain to master.

It was during one of the multiple video chats with Moth earlier this month when [y/n] mentioned that they had recently developed a taste for cool and mysterious bartenders who were specifically, ‘brown-eyed, had slightly long dark hair, and performed cool tricks with cocktail-shakers’

Hence the brown lenses and the hair extensions. But [Redacted] winced when he remembered the endless nights spent trying to master the cocktail shaker tricks. All that effort and his Angel didn’t even notice him, save for a small polite ‘thank you’ that he knew they reserved for strangers.

He felt a little disheartened that this personality failed too. Nothing lately had been enough to grab [y/n]’s attention and he was itching to get closer to his Angel. To somehow be a part of their perfect little circle that he was always a spectator of.

He continued his slow pace, training his eyes on the only person that mattered in that group of friends. Or ‘fiends’ as [Redacted] liked to call them. Although he loved [y/n] unconditionally, sometimes he cannot help but question their taste in the people they chose to surround themselves with.

[Redacted] cursed fluently under his breath, “Why that handsy little piece of…” and balled his fists at his sides when he saw Teo playfully slap [y/n]’s bum, suddenly regretting not having brought his trusty sledgehammer together.

As they walked further down the street, it gradually became crowded with last-minute shoppers. For a short moment, [Redacted] ran into a big family walking towards the diner across the street. He lost sight of Angel and their friends, but due to his tall height towering over all the people, he lost no time as he spotted them in the gaggle of people.

A cold and wet sensation fluttered on his eyelids. One of the kids yelled, annoyingly tugging at his father’s coat, “Look! Look! Dad it’s snowinggggg” the kid said in a sing-song voice. [Redacted] looked up at the dark sky in wonder, “Oh, it’s snowing alright!” he murmured as if noticing his surroundings for the first time.

The atmosphere put a damper on [Redacted]’s already souring mood. He was not a holiday person, and these joyous festivities felt increasingly nauseating as he walked further down the street.

[Redacted] turned a corner, tailing Angel and their friends. A man dressed as Santa intercepted his silent vigil, grating on his nerves. Dangling a tiny candy-cane keychain, he spoke in that phony signature Santa voice, “Ho Ho Ho boy here, take this keychain for a dollar and make a wish…your little donation will help several homeless children.” the man demanded, eyeing him expectantly.

[Redacted]’s azure eyes volleyed between Angel and this darned man who seemed like he would not leave anytime soon.

Exasperated, he reached into his pocket and placed a dollar on the man’s outstretched palm—with more force than necessary—snatching the keychain from his grasp. He stuffed it deep into his jeans pocket and began moving towards the bar.

“Make a wish boy. Believe in the Christmas Miracle !” The phony Santa called after him. [Redacted] rolled his eyes and scoffed, “Miracle…as if”

The fact [Redacted] did not believe in miracles would be the understatement of the century. But he didn't know why...he foolishly wanted to believe in them...If only for today. Especially when his ocean eyes longingly traced the outline of Angel with their friends through the glass window from outside. They were sitting cozily inside a booth in the dimly lit bar.

He rubbed his hands together and pulled the hood of his hoodie on his head as he stood there in cold weather. The gentle snow covered his broad shoulders the longer he spent time outside. [Redacted] watched Angel’s antics with amusement, bouncing on the balls of his feet.

The clock was soon approaching midnight. Everyone geared up to welcome Christmas. Angel’s antics became wilder by the second as they slowly went from tipsy to a more drunken state. [Redacted]’s insides itched with anxiety. His protective tendencies flared watching [y/n] twirl around the expanse of the bar. Their friends only laughed at the sight, and Teo even had the gall to record them calling Angel a "terrible lightweight"

'Note to self-corrupt Teo's phone later', he mused with a cold smirk.[Redacted] heaved a frustrated sigh and resignedly decided to go inside and keep a closer watch. But just as he stepped inside the bar, a zooming figure crashed forcefully into his chest, knocking all air out of him.

With mild surprise, [Redacted] realized that it was [y/n] who had bumped into him. Tensed and a little shocked, [Redacted] steadied his little Angel with strong arms, and to his utter disbelief, [y/n] peered up at him, craning their neck at [Redacted]’s towering form.

[Redacted] was dumbstruck. His mind went blank as [y/n], his little adorable Angel, gave him a rare genuine smile. Although [Redacted] knew that his Angel was drunk, his heart still beat a mile a minute as he gawked at that beautiful little smile. His mind zeroed in on the fact that this smile was directed towards him. Not some personality that he had put on, but it was HIM, that they looked at like this.

He hung his head a little, feeling a bit self-conscious. But then his heart almost stopped, his breath hitched in his throat when Angel leaned in closer and traced the snake-bite piercings adorning his face, “These are pretty" they slurred in a cute voice.

“So, do you want to do it?” Angel asked, breaking [Redacted] out of his trance.

“D-Do w-what?” [Redacted] stammered his throat suddenly very dry.

“Oh we’ll have to do it…or else we’ll get bad luck.” [y/n] hiccupped, then yanked [Redacted] by the strings of his hoodie, winding them around their fingers as they pulled him in, mere inches apart from their face.

Reading the slightly alarmed expression on [Redacted]’s face, [y/n] chuckled as they whispered, teasing him a little, “I’m talking about the mistletoe silly..” they winked. And [Redacted] finally noticed the mistletoe hanging above their heads.

“WHOOP DRUNK [y/n] IS THE BEST [y/n] !!!!” Teo cheered in the background as Jae and Leon created a loud ruckus.

“YESS DARL SNOG HIM SENSELESS” Leon yelled too, sloshing around his beer on the table as he egged [y/n] on.

Gaining sudden confidence from all the cheering, Angel smirked smugly before they stood on their tippy toes and leaned in, kissing [Redacted] square on the mouth.

‘Am I dead? Is this what heaven feels like?’ [Redacted] wondered as [y/n]’s breath enveloped his senses. He could taste pineapples and coconuts on their breath.

‘So they had Piñacoladas’ he smiled.

But then his eyes widened when he felt [y/n] slip their tongue into his mouth. It was as if all coherence fled him when he closed his eyes. Giving in to indulgence, he gripped Angel by their waist, pulling them closer. A palm splayed at their back protectively, supporting them as another hand snaked around the nape of their neck, gaining traction as he angled them into a deeper kiss.

A minute passed and Angel broke the kiss in need of air, earning a low whine from [Redacted]. Their chest heaved in tandem. Angel's flushed face smiled at him before they whispered, “Wow…that was my first"

Angel pecked on [Redacted]’s lips one last time and retracted themselves from him. [Redacted]'s hands lingered on their shoulders a beat too long. He balked at the information dropped on him. ‘So it was their first kiss too? But they have always been so popular…’ he thought, marveling at his Angel with a starstruck expression.

The slow din of voices gradually came back, jolting [Redacted] out of this little moment. Angel's friends approached them and whisked them away as [Redacted] swiftly pulled his hood down, shielding his face.

“See you around..” Angel trailed off, waving their fingers at [Redacted], stepping outside into the chilly night air.

For the first time in forever, a big goofy smile broke onto [Redacted]’s face as he stood in the afterglow of that first kiss. It was beautiful and nothing like he had ever imagined. He pushed his hands deep inside his jeans pockets and began following the group when his fingers curled around the candy-cane keychain resting inside.

A mysterious smile bloomed across his face as he wondered, ‘Sometimes miracles do exist’. Trudging along the snowy road, watching his Angel from afar, the atmosphere didn't feel so gloomy anymore

“What we could’ve been”

It's still not out of my system. Whenever my train of thought is off track, I find it dangerously close to the off-limits section in my mind. Why do I have to torture myself so much? It's as if I'm secretly a masochist and I start wandering through painful territory, knowing full well that what's about to come, is going to give my feelings a huge blow.

Nevertheless, I keep pushing my boundaries, stretching them to the ultimate breaking point every time I delve into the sea of faded moments.

It's a poison I willingly take a sip of and each drop never fails to impress me. I slowly die inside every time I look at you. Your love, your dimpled smile, the way you flicked your hair to the side and slyly smirked at me every time you caught me staring. And I'm undone. The wicked tears betray me and the dull pang in my chest reminds me of the mistake—of the sin I commit every time I go hunting for our repressed memories. It pushes and pulls, hums and throbs, in hypnotizing rhythms and I succumb.

I succumb to the wants of my heart. I am a fiend for this emotion you evoke in me. An addict of the pain it brings me. And I thrive off of the sadness that stabs across my chest, struggling to escape. Because it's when I feel these emotions, all the voices, moments, and memories playing like a trance in my mind, I know it was real. That I did not make it all up. That every fight, every tear, and every embrace we shared was real. And the seamless pain is a beautiful reminder of it all. Of the messy, toxic, passionate love we shared. And even if regret is the only feeling left in my heart, I would never take it back. I would never change anything between us, even if it meant, I'd be nursing and nurturing the wounds you dealt me, for the rest of my life. All because I am in love with the past—with the simple idea of what we had and what we could've been.

Prism

If I were to give a color to my emotions they would be white. Blindingly white. The all consuming white, that holds the green of envy, the blue of sadness and the red of anger. The pink of my love hides shyly under the black of my fears. They lay dormant under the plainness of white. Yet the only one capable of bringing them out is you. Holding the prism of my heart in your hands. And watching me break apart like a rainbow in your palm.