Ashe's Journal - Tumblr Posts

"Hour glass"

"Stranded in the hour glass; 'Neath the slipping sand. I trudged along the wicked trails, searching for your hand. Then spotted a silhouette far away, and rushed to it with hope; The fate in guise mocked me, and pushed me down the slope"

"To the other half...”

"How many masks remain to fall;

before I see the real you?

How many secrets are yet to be revealed,

before the trust in me breaks into two?

I've seen you change more colours;

than there existed in rainbows.

I see, you've been writing our story for awhile;

drawing it to an early close.

You gave me a thought to dwell on;

painted in solitary blue.

I sigh, as I look at my heart;

along with all the memories, you took the other half with you"

"Adieu"

"Don't let the tears fall down.

Don't let hope leave, when silence's the only other sound.

Hold your pieces together, don't tear yourself apart;

close your fluttering eyes, you'll find me in your heart.

When the gloom takes over your smile;

and solitude becomes your only while,

Let the light shine bright upon your scars;

the wounds will fade with the passing hours.

If it becomes too much to bear the sorrow;

I depart with a promise, to meet you on the morrow.

And when you can't find me in your sight?

In the midst of the day and dark, that's where we'll unite"

"Autumnal Eternal"

"Walking down the pavement old,

more often I mused of the smile you wore.

Of the myriad of emotions you hid untold;

like a lost poem, imprinted on your soul.

Its words a fine day, I wish could learn;

For its forgotton rhyme had a beauty and yearn.

To burn on my memory and reflect on the heart;

like a folded away letter, from a lover miles apart.

The way your hand brushed 'gainst mine;

like a feather-kissed touch of the fleeting time.

The wind took me as our fingers entwined,

to a land of memories that outlasted time.

Yet here again on the pavement old;

I think of our story that was left untold.

Of the warm days and fall and cold,

and of the words I still retold.

I loved you then and I love you more;

For I left my heart to rest with you,

To beat with yours forevermore."

"Nature's Solace"

"The warm breeze ruffles my hair;

as the sweet summer scent looms in the air.

There's something about the wind that reminds me of home;

the leaves sway with peace as I rest below this shady dome.

The tiny birds chirrup merrily nearby;

as the sky goes on stretching ahead with a lazy sigh.

My heart jolts a little, and so does my fuddled mind;

both hum a sweet song 'bout nature's divine.

Oh how the gentle air caresses my skin;

as affectionate as a lover or a faraway kin.

The sun shines glorious and orange with pride,

as the memories of tomorrow walk past with a stride.

My eyes flutter close capturing every moment of this while;

the world warps to a haze as I walk this dream aisle.

I look beside me and find a person I knew;

sitting quietly as I reminisce the days old and new.

The rustling of the leaves tell me I'm alone;

for when I open my eyes, I see you're long gone.

I get up from my spot beneath the bower huge;

and find you amidst the clouds seeking quiet refuge.

The setting sun blinks at me as it meets the ground;

I ask you to stay as the night begins to surround.

You bid your farewell with the passing light and settle among the stars;

I sigh, and await your company as the day is away several hours."

"Tears in the rain"

"On my knees, head weighed down; this is how you left me, crying on the ground. 'Please don't go', was all my heart ached to say; but before I turned, you had already walked away"

“The realization slowly seeps in, that no matter how hard we try, it’s always the flaws that they pay heed to. Somehow you can’t explain your feelings verbally, and somehow they don’t ever try to see past you.

Cause even after all the efforts to put it out, the heart still cowers and stays hidden within—Heavy with all the unsaid guilts, and a love unreached.”

“What we could’ve been”

It's still not out of my system. Whenever my train of thought is off track, I find it dangerously close to the off-limits section in my mind. Why do I have to torture myself so much? It's as if I'm secretly a masochist and I start wandering through painful territory, knowing full well that what's about to come, is going to give my feelings a huge blow.

Nevertheless, I keep pushing my boundaries, stretching them to the ultimate breaking point every time I delve into the sea of faded moments.

It's a poison I willingly take a sip of and each drop never fails to impress me. I slowly die inside every time I look at you. Your love, your dimpled smile, the way you flicked your hair to the side and slyly smirked at me every time you caught me staring. And I'm undone. The wicked tears betray me and the dull pang in my chest reminds me of the mistake—of the sin I commit every time I go hunting for our repressed memories. It pushes and pulls, hums and throbs, in hypnotizing rhythms and I succumb.

I succumb to the wants of my heart. I am a fiend for this emotion you evoke in me. An addict of the pain it brings me. And I thrive off of the sadness that stabs across my chest, struggling to escape. Because it's when I feel these emotions, all the voices, moments, and memories playing like a trance in my mind, I know it was real. That I did not make it all up. That every fight, every tear, and every embrace we shared was real. And the seamless pain is a beautiful reminder of it all. Of the messy, toxic, passionate love we shared. And even if regret is the only feeling left in my heart, I would never take it back. I would never change anything between us, even if it meant, I'd be nursing and nurturing the wounds you dealt me, for the rest of my life. All because I am in love with the past—with the simple idea of what we had and what we could've been.

Prism

If I were to give a color to my emotions they would be white. Blindingly white. The all consuming white, that holds the green of envy, the blue of sadness and the red of anger. The pink of my love hides shyly under the black of my fears. They lay dormant under the plainness of white. Yet the only one capable of bringing them out is you. Holding the prism of my heart in your hands. And watching me break apart like a rainbow in your palm.

Death of a Soulmate

Down her cheeks, the tears fell;

She hugged herself, at the midnight spell

The blanket wound around her, tangled up like a thread;

She clutched her chest tightly, curled forlornly in her bed

Yet she couldn’t fathom why, she found herself crying;

Someplace, somewhere the other half of her heart was dying.

The sweet susurrus of the satin, you wrapped round my eyes;

I stare blindly, in the face of your many beautiful lies.

Hands on my shoulders, words a stealthy breath;

You spill nectar in my ear, whilst you guide me to my death.

Slowly killing time. The seconds bleed into minutes. Fingers drumming the funeral march on the rough surface of the table, mourning the loss of another hour. Tear shrouded eyes, surreptitiously flit every so often towards the dead silent phone.

Alone in this lone space, I wish my day wasn’t cheapened like so. Waning with wont of your absence. How I hope I could drown in work. Have something to do with my fidgeting hands itching to reach out to you.

Maybe someday I’ll get to be the important one in this relationship. Maybe someday we’ll switch roles…

When you’ll come calling and I won’t answer.

Lover

Scritch and scratch, the tip of the pen danced against the paper. My words flowed liquid, tangled in the cursive jumble of my thoughts. Loops after loops, slants and curves, my feelings turned solid as I hung them on the lines like stars.

For you to count and admire, my secrets laid bare like constellations. Holding several meanings and stories I only ever whispered to the moon.

Oh you unknown, whose face I see in dreams, on many a sleepless night.

Oh you unknown, whom I’ve loved , do love, and will love without nary the blink of an eye.

We’ve never met; yet such hold you have on my foolish little heart.

Oh you unknown will you Love me... Love me, until it consumes and tears me apart?