Cradling Numbness

Cradling numbness

An empty bed.

Dried flowers,

Stars on the ceiling.

Place for a child,

Never brought home.

Dead lover.

Lifeless crying,

Soundless screaming,

Manic laughter,

Empty arms,

Cradling numbness.

Stolen child.

Dreams broken,

Nightmares awoken.

Death before life,

Darkness without light,

No hope.

Never here,

But still...

Come back

;

Remember My Name

Dig my nails into my hands

Hope it leaves a mark

Cry like a statue a greek would create

Shattered to pieces in the house of a god

-

Laughing like flowers made by Apollo

Blood rinsing from petals, fault of love

Icarus flying too near the sun,

the sight of the lover above

-

Dying in embrace of him who i kissed

Holding me thight so tender

A last kiss with breath shaking so dearly

Hades, you know i surrender

-

My soul leaving my body, of life just a witness

But feelings like grief and joy?

I know I'm not immortal, but let the greeks die

So we alone can coquer Troy

-

Take my hand as we run towards the gate

A strike in my chest, spear of tree

Helpless falling like a kid

A pain of losing, him my beloved, the pain of losing me

-

My eyes shut as the lit fell down

Wood burning, passion in flames

Marks on my skin, hands in fist

Please, remember my name

If the sky wasn't blue...

-

If the sky wasn't blue and the sea wasn't too...

would I have dared to run?

Just pack my things

and spread my wings

far away from everyone.

-

If the fire wasn't red and my friend wasn't dead...

would I have told my mum?

That I'm moving away

and why I can't stay

That she is the reason I'm numb.

-

If the kid wasn't afraid that the man bared the blade...

would I have punched his face?

The stranger who screamed at me

full of conspiracy

while my heart broke like a vase.

-

If she wasn't annoyed while she created the void...

would my heart still be okay?

Would it still be whole

without the pieces she stole

I think I'll replace them with clay

-

If my thoughts weren't hazy and my teacher not crazy...

would I have stopped with the knife?

I know life is rough

But would I be enough,

Would I be worth this life?

-

If my head was alright and the darkness brought light...

I think I might make it.

I got this chance

So I'll try a dance

Hoping that I will make it.

Maybe I cry the ocean

-

In the last few weeks I have felt numb, still do and I'm not even sure if a few weeks is enough. It feels like years.

The ocean in my head is drowning everything out. In the far distance, I can hear the 52hz whale crying, but I can't answer. Water stops my voice and fills my lungs. I can't breath, but my heart beats faster than I can count.

I don't have the energy to stay afloat, so I'm sinking like a wrack. The darkness beneath me grabs my feet and pulls me down. I close my eyes, waiting to hit the ground.

I don't feel it. As I open my eyes to look down, all I see is black. I know that down there is a ground. Nothing is infinite. I just don't see it. I can't see it.

While still sinking, the world of creatures swims by me. Beautiful and ugly, tiny and big. I try to touch a shiny fish but it swims away.

I cry.  At least I think I do. My tears immediately mix with the water of the sea. I can't tell them apart. The deeper I sink the more I get pulled down. Harsh. It will probably leave markes on my skins.

I try to scream  but every last breath of mine seems to be made of the sea. Or my tears.

Maybe I'm drowning in my tears.

Maybe I cry the ocean.

The way my skin wraps around my bones makes me suffocate, drowning in tears I am still holding back

The stars know everthing.

But do the stars know the way people love?

A person who loves someone.

A mess of imperfection, sewn out of flaws and fregments of mistakes, but a perfect smile.

Crooked, holding nothing but the truth.

Eyes capturing the death of a star, tragic, with beauty full of life.

Hands, which once touched the soft skin of someone, being able to hold someone in your arms like they were never anything but a place to rest.

Legs, which roam the holy ground, not holy because of deitis, but holy because its part of the universes.

A place which holds all the treasure ever known to humankind, known to any kind of creature.

A creature whos seen the horrifying beauty of life.

Breathing, laughing, crying.

Making friends and feeling lonely, holding hands while moving apart.

Life and death, a circle never meant to be broken.

But love wants to break everything which  makes it beautiful.

Romeo dying of the thought of seperation, Achilles killing for revenge, waiting for death.

Hannibal forgiving a sin not known to a deity, Apollo forming flowers out of blood.

A god creating birds out of pity, a love never meant to be.

I envy the stars for knowing a love like this, being ready to take death as a consequence.