Your Boundary Doesnt Need An Apology.

Your boundary doesn‘t need an apology.

Joanne

So...I, temporarily, deactivated my Instagram account just now. I also wanted to, temporarily, deactivate my Facebook, but then I remembered I helped run a page for a club I was in last year. This page still, occasionally, gets liked to this day. I’m not 100% sure how deactivating would affect the visibility of this page, so I’m just going to leave my account alone and, instead, log out out and delete the app from my phone. 

I still feel pretty good about Insta though. Honestly, out of all my social media, this one causes me the most pain (lol). I found myself checking it more constantly. I would attribute this to the fact that the semester ended a couple of weeks ago, which has left me with more free time. I found myself comparing my life with other people’s lives a lot more than usual. This made me start feeling bad about myself and even made me forget about my own recent accomplishments. I also checked the page of someone I should not be checking on (I just know my friends are going to scold me when I tell them about this). This is, mostly, because it always ends with me getting my feelings hurt when I do. Long story short...did not go well. I saw something I wish I didn’t see that ended up crushing my self-esteem even more (learned my lesson).

Anyway, I think I really do need this break from social media (excluding tumblr of course). I’m going to use these next few months to really focus on myself. I’m going to make my physical, mental, and spiritual health top priorities this summer. 

18 May 2022- Another Life Update (This time a happy one)

Well, I did it ya’ll. I have, officially, graduated.

These past couple of years have been rough, but I’m really proud of myself. Grad school is already hard on its own. Grad school with a pandemic AND a bunch of negative things happening in your personal life? Don’t get me started...

Anyway, I’m (cautiously) looking forward to what my future holds. So far, I’ve been able to cross off a few things from the vision board I made on New Year’s Eve. I’m determined to cross off more soon.

Also, with school out of the way, I think this is the perfect time to get back on track with my health and fitness goals. I haven’t stepped foot inside a gym in MONTHS. I’m actually looking forward to restarting tomorrow.

I know I’ve done this several times already. I used to feel embarrassed every time I would post about having another setback on here. But, you know what? I’ll restart 100 times if that’s what it takes to get to where I want. 

So, here we go again :)

13 May 2022

My dog died 2 days ago and I’m still heartbroken.

Honestly, it feels so surreal knowing that I’m never going to see her again. 

I’ll never hear her barking at the birds whenever they’re hanging out on the lawn or at whatever neighbor’s cat that’s strolling along our fence.

When I step inside my house, I’m never going to see her rushing over to greet me. 

I’m never going to be able to take her on walks again.

Or pet her.

Or see her lie down by my feet in my room, while I’m watching tv or playing video games or doing homework.

I’m never going to be able to take her hiking like I had always wanted to, but never found the time to (now I’m really wish I had...)

It probably seems silly to some people to be feeling so emotional over a dog, but she wasn’t just a dog. She was basically family. She joined my family when when she was just a few weeks old. We basically raised her and I had some milestone years with her as well. To top it all off, she was going to turn 11 years old this month...

I know bigger dogs don’t live as long as smaller dogs, but I was really hoping I had at least a couple more years with her. With me moving back to my family home, since I graduate soon, I was looking forward to being home more often. Instead of having to go back and forth between two cities because of work and school.

I feel so bad because I feel like I didn’t have enough time with her. Like I said, the past few years, I was not consistently with her because of work and school. 

Now she’s gone and I’m never going to get that lost time back.