Getranched - Ranch Dressing

Update: Yormp is not fine with the blood

PSA don't feed the geese !!!

i am not limited by human range HAHA GET FUCKING STYLED ON LOSER

i love echolalia so much i truly do but i am so sadly limited by the range of my human voice. i wanna mimic cars and kettles and microwave beeps and chirping birds and computer keys and rushing water. making cat noises isn’t enough i wanna sound like a fucking synth.

UGH. That annoying moment when your sapient spaceship (which you created after becoming immortal but before becoming a god/dess) ditches you for a millennia to go romance that one artificial moon and you have to teleport like some sort of *emissary*

We may not own any rolling pins, but that’s not for lack of trying! They just kept turning into mimics and then the mimic rolling pins would eat the bread dough and it just ended up easier to use our copy of… hm, tumblr doesn’t have that text option. Unfortunate. Our copy of a certain grimoire which stays pristine as part of its construction to press the dough out

heard someone say "who even owns a rolling pin anymore" and my brain froze trying to process it. what does that mean. are u implying rolling pins are outdated technology? did we come up with a shiny new 21st century method of flattening dough of which i remain uninformed? is there now an app on the app store people are using instead??? im losing my mind "who even owns a rolling pin" people who BAKE

"Sorry, but blinking is for people who have eyes and emotions. "

- Brain 2021