One Punch Cat!

One punch cat!

As Sonic crouched in the shadows he could hardly contain the grin stretching across his face. Today was the day... After a month of training his body and mind, after refining every last weapon at his disposal, after all the blood sweat, and tears, he was ready. Today, Saitama would die!

Currently, the ninja was right outside the egg-heads apartment, waiting for the other man to arrive home. He didn't even need to worry about the cyborg getting in his way because the teen was out until later tonight. Everything was going his way for once.

After a few more minutes of waiting, a familiar bald head came into view. Sonic licked the sweat off his lip as he readied his sword and prepared to jump.

"Sonic, is that you?"

Sonic froze. Saitama had sensed him already!? How the hell did the baldy even know it was him!?

"Come on out if you want a treat."

If the ninja's jaw wasn't clenched like a pissed-off clam it would have dropped. What the hell was Saitama doing!? If this was some new tactic to throw the ninja off his rhythm, congrats it worked!

Sonic, still baffled by the whole thing, watched as Saitama reached into one of his shopping bags and pulled out a can of something. As the sound of the opening can hit Sonic's ears a black blur shot out from one of the alleyways.

"MEOW!"

"Alright, alright, no need to yell at me."

The hero placed the food in front of the scrappy-looking cat, who swiped at the man's hands with a hiss before stuffing its face.

"Feisty today, aren't ya Sonic?"

This time the ninja's jaw did drop.

"SAITAMA!"

Sonic jumped from his hiding place and slashed his sword. A second later he was on his back with his weapon in pieces.

Saitama looked at him with that same infuriatingly, uninterested expression. "Oh, hey Sonic. Haven't seen you in a while."

"What the hell-explain yourself Saitama!" Sonic hollered, pointing the handle of his shattered sword at the hero.

"Explain myself?" Saitama trailed off looking confused.

Sonic gestured angrily at the cat who was finished with its food and cleaning its face.

"Ooooooh, you mean the cat?"

Saitama reached down to pet the feline with an amused smile on his face.

"It shows up every once in a while to hiss at me until I give it food." Saitama looked up, smile turning a bit smug, "It reminded me of you so I started calling it Sonic."

"You-you!" Sonic couldn't even find the words he wanted to say.

"I mean, just look," the hero scooped up Sonic the cat and held it out towards the original Sonic, "you're practically twins."

The black cat had a mean-looking face with a slightly mangled ear. Even the most passionate cat lovers would call it ugly. It hissed at the ninja before jumping out of Saitama's hands and running away.

"Aw, you scared it."

"YOU'RE DEAD!"

Enraged beyond belief, Sonic attacked. He punched and kicked and stabbed but the hero dodged every strick.

"Aw man, I feel kinda bad fighting you now. It feels like animal abuse in a way."

This only made the ninja madder. He charged at the hero with a flurry of more kicks and punches. He might have even destroyed a building in his rage.

Unfortunately for Sonic, all that anger made him sloppy. Before Sonic even knew what was happening Saitama had grabbed him by the back of the shirt, dangling him in the air, and delivered a gentle but firm poke to the back of the head. Sonic was out like a light.

For the first time ever, Saitama felt a bit bad for knocking Sonic unconscious. Sure, the guy was a villain, but now all he could see was an annoying cat.

"Well, I guess the least I can do is feed him like Cat-Sonic."

Saitama lifted the boy onto his shoulder and headed inside.

"I'll text Genos and tell him we're having a guest tonight."

Harry Potter AU where Harry was REALLY into stage magic when he got his Hogwarts letter and is wholly committed to the bit. Like, he buys one of those hollow plastic wands and a top hat before the school year starts.

Hedwig is now a rabbit.

Me: *Types single letter into google*

Google: "Dog-type Pokemon?"

Me: "I've become predictable."

He's a phantom!

reblogging so I don't forget these lol!

So you don’t have to watch the video every time you need one of these hacks immediately:

1. If you feel nauseated, smell rubbing alcohol.

2. If you feel like throwing up, start humming.

3. If you have a runny nose, put your tongue to the roof of your mouth and press your thumb to your forehead for about 20 seconds.

4. If you have a headache, pinch the webbing between your fingers and rub it back and forth for about 1 minute.

5. If you’re lightheaded from standing up too quickly, clench your butt cheeks.

6. If your arm’s dead/has the pins and needles feeling, rock your head back and forth.

7. If you need to pee badly, think of sex to trick your brain and relieve the pressure.

8. If you have a migraine, stick your hands in ice water.

9. If you wanna calm your racing heart, blow on your thumb.

I once told a group of toddler-aged kids, "You can't go onto the playground without a grownup because there could be an alligator out there." after that whenever I told them they couldn't go someplace by themselves (like the hallway) they'd say, "because there could be an alligator, right?"

I accidentally rewired their brains to think any unsafe place was only dangerous because of potential alligators!

funny how adults will say random things to children without much thought or accuracy, and then a kid will integrate that into a fundamental cornerstone of their understanding of reality and The Way The World Works